Fallen Sons

[Freman Bloodglaive]

I wouldn't say long... That's why I've never understood the viability of 'renegade Chapters'; Your stuff is breaking, and you're running out of ammo! You can't really Pirate stuff since, a Chapter is a tiny, minnow is a huge pond...

 

I've always been under the impression that, a Chapter can pretty easily Repair and keep working on some level Most of their stuff (I mean, there are decades old Power Armor still in use with many... Venerable pieces of gear they are.), but I also imagine if Brother Bills' Terminator suit just got to damaged in that last battle, they'd look for a replacement (ie. Have TechMarine Steve craft a new piece of armor; As part of a ceremony with semi-religious undertones, no doubt, with Chapter Master Jim, and Chaplain Paul there to bless the piece of armor, etc.), or request it from the Mechanicus (Through their TechMarines)...

 

By the way... Feel free to incorporate Chapter Master Jim into anyone's IAs... Just sayin... Nothing strikes fear in to an Orks heart than the battle cry "I am Jim! And I have come to slaughter you!"... Am I right?... Yeah I'm right.

 

My Chapter Master is Adonai (and I use biker Captain rules for him) but I can fit in a Chaplain Jim. Would that work for you?

[PyronusSouria]

One thing I noticed is that you say they have a preference for blunt weapons, but have a knife-fighter mentality.

[legoss]

I was meaning the mentality bit as in how close they prefer to fight, but I'm open to any suggestions for better phrasings. Thanks Pyronus for the input, maybe I'll have to reword things a bit.

[legoss]

Just added a pair of paint schemes, any input or ideas would be greatly appreciated.

[Shinzaren]

*flashes badge*

"Shinzaren, Agent of L.A.F.F.S. We received a report about some new background and fluff being posted. Please wait here while we make our inspection."

 

*founding chapter master had strong ties to the Ordo Xenos, serving several times either in the deathwatch or as part of a seconded force of Iron Hands

Doesn't really mean much for the Chapter itself though. While he, the CM, might have a few allies in the Ordo, he will be so busy focusing on raising a chapter that it won't really come into play. Eventually his allies will die, and he will die. So unless the Chapter itself cultivates close ties, this piece of information is interesting, but largely irrelevant.

 

*check on some archaic signals, find their home world Therapus

Check? Check where? Check what? Are they sent on a mission to find some Archaic Symbols and then they stumble upon Therapus, or are they on Therapus when they stumble upon some Archaic Symbols?

 

*Originally the Fallen Sons had been granted the hive world of Chorallis as their home, this was an unpopular choice

*Chorallis had a very heavy ecclesiarchical influence, this sat badly with the chapter and the church because of the ties their gene-sires had to the mechanicus

The High Lords of Terra aren't fools. They know that Space Marines and the Ecclesiarchy don't generally get along, and at no time would this be more evident than the events following the Reign of Blood. Astartes waged open war against the Ecclesiarchy. They wouldn't assign a world with heavy Church influence to be a chapter homeworld. Perhaps a neighboring system has a large Ecclesiarchy infrastructure, and the church slowly encroaches on your system, intent on bringing the Godless tribes to the Emperor. This displeases you, since you like them how they are. It makes a bit more explanation then having the High Lords deliberately foster a problem.

 

*Therapus is a system to the north of the Imperial Navy base at Bakka, one habitable planet, Therapus Tertius with 2 moons

Why is it called Therapus Tertius (The Third?) if it is the only habitable planet? Wouldn't it be Therapus Primus? Nitpicky, but these are the things I think about :P

 

*after their initial difficulties exploring the system the chapter realized the planet was a perfect recruiting ground and petitioned for this new home world instead

*surrounded by dense asteroid fields, remnants of the other planets in the system

*originally a penal colony used for traitorous guard regiments, prisoners were used as labor in the system's mines

*system was plagued by ork raiders, and went dark just before Vandire rose to power

*in the millenium between the prisoners had devolved to a tribal society, most of the tribes venerating the technological remnants of the prison, carrying out the rituals that had been engraved into their culture all those centuries before

When an Astartes chapter finds a world that they believe they can recruit from, they generally just claim it. No one is going to challenge them after all, and as long as they aren't taking resources or production from the Imperium as a whole, you should be fine. Otherwise I like the idea of a devolved prison planet.

 

Combat Doctrine:

*The Sons favor close ranged firefights over melee combat, with preference to flamers and melta weapons both for effect and the terror they can cause

*once melee is inevitable, the Sons favor heavier mass based weapons like hammers, maces and mauls to bladed weapons, this seems to be a remnant of their heritage as prisoners

*Due to their knife fighter mentality the chapter has become renowned for urban combat and boarding actions

Knife fighters use knives... A bladed weapon. Perhaps instead of their knife fighter mentality, they have blunt force trauma mentality? Power. Makes more sense if you want to focus on heavy-mass weapons like hammers and maces.

 

*

very few bikes, as they aren't suited to the tight quarters the chapter prefers to battle in

*while land speeders are held in high regard for their utility as rapid fire support in urban conflict, the chapter owns very few of them

Bikes and Speeders serve virtually same function and have the same weaknesses. Saying you dislike bikes because of close quarters but you like speeders doesn't make much sense. Neither one is useful at all in boarding actions and both are extremely limited in urban combat.

 

*though they venerate the high technology in plasma weapons, the Sons rarely field them because of their temperamental nature

This is another one of many contradictions. If they venerate it, they consider it an honor to use and would field more, not less.

 

Organization:

*chapter originally fielded 10 clan-companies, extended campaigning against traitorous 10th company in the Chorallis system led to several changes

Traitorous 10th? In a codex company the 10th is the Scout/Reserve company. If you are using Iron Hands Clan Companies, which it looks you are then I will shut up :P That said, how did one company destroy 3 others?

 

*the chapter fields only 6 operational companies, never replacing the destroyed 1st, 5th, or 7th companies, nor the treasonous 10th

Not replacing the 10th I get. They are traitorous scum. Why not replace the others? It doesn't make sense not to rebuild them.

 

*companies are significantly larger, averaging 140-180 battle brothers, with veterans spread amongst the companies

*companies are usually further divided into 3 elements to allow them to operate from multiple fronts at once, like a hunting party on Therapus

This reference is completely lost on people not in your head. Since the reader doesn't know what a hunting party on Therapus is; saying your companies are organized like them loses the reader.

 

*each company maintains their own armory but the chapter fleet is controlled by the chapter master, though the clans have traditionally been assigned the same ships over the millennia

Makes sense.

 

Beliefs:

*the Emperor was the greatest man ever, not a god

*the Sons abhor weakness, particularly mental or spiritual weakness, holding heretics and traitors as vermin to be hunted down and exterminated

*the chapter views themselves as hunters, culling the weak from within the imperium itself

You and my Blades should talk. We have a lot in common. We should double date sometime!

 

*honoring their wargear, each marine is responsible for his own equipment, the chapter believes that if they take care of their wargear then the machine spirits will take care of them as well

*these beliefs come from the tribal rituals of Therapus

Seems Iron Hands-ish as well. Maybe mention how fortuitous it was that the two beliefs meshed so well?

 

*the chapter maintains close ties to the Ordo Xenos, with service in the Deathwatch considered a key part of leadership, few marines rise through the ranks without at least one secondment

:P Hmm, I have seen, and even tried this idea before. It always falls apart though when you consider the nature of the Inquisition. They ask you for help, you don't volunteer marines. This means that even if you and the Ordo Xenos are tight, there is no guarantee they will ask for your help. Since you don't seem to possess any unique knowledge on a specific Xenos, nor are you making a habit of battling Xenos at every turn, this seems like an odd thing to do. You talk about hating weakness and traitors, but then you jump right to being the premier anti-alien specialists? Its a bit... off. I get it, Deathwatch is cool, I agree. It doesn't really work for this chapter though :/

 

Gene-Seed:

*Iron Hands gene-seed was chosen due to the chapter's unyielding and ruthless nature

*has remained relatively stable through the millennia, other than the betcher's gland

*the gland has seemingly gone hyperactive, the acid they spit becomes incendiary as a marine ages

How does it catch fire? Contact with oxygen? Does this mutation have a downside? Can the marines burn their own mouths? How did it come about? More importantly, why? What does this add to the chapter besides being able to breath fire? While it is a good and noble goal, as fire is awesome, without a good reason it just seems like you are doing it to be cool.

 

 

Alrighty! This was a good read and you definitely have the basics of your chapter well thought out. Looking forward to seeing how this progresses and to the Article proper, whatever format gets used :)

 

*Folds up Badge*

"L.A.F.F.S. Thanks you for your cooperation in this matter. Have a good day sir."

[legoss]

@Shinzaren, thanks for the tips and advice, I agree with much of what you've pointed out. On the topic of speeders though, yes they aren't useful in boarding actions, but in any other situation I had imagined them as being used like a helicopter, for air support? A chapter can't have enough thunderhawks to do everything, wouldn't land speeders be used to help fill that role?

[Ace Debonair]

Sir, you have a winner. :D

That's a smooth colourscheme.

EDIT: Although the eyes could do with being a brighter colour - ice blue, perhaps?

I'll have a look at the IA properly later if I get time, but for now...

Shinzaren, what the deuce is the L.A.F.F.S.? Liber Astartes Flying Folding Scissors? Liber Astartes Fanatical Featherweight Sorcerers? Lurking Abridged Followers Fearing Sandwiches? :devil:

[NightrawenII]

Shinzaren, what the deuce is the L.A.F.F.S.? Liber Astartes Flying Folding Scissors? Liber Astartes Fanatical Featherweight Sorcerers? Lurking Abridged Followers Fearing Sandwiches? ^_^

Liber Astartes Fluff Fanatics Squad B)

[legoss]

After a break of several months, I've returned to my IA. I had real burnout for some unknown reason, but my mind has returned to my marines. I've made some changes to my outline, hopefully tightened it up somewhat. I have some references in there to a chapter civil war, but I'm not certain how to write it just yet. The basic premise has been that the 10th clan-company was stationed on a world the chapter recruited from, and the world rebelled. After the world was retaken, the 1st company was also stationed on the world. Several decades later the world rebelled again, and 7 company was ordered to respond, as neither 1 nor 10 responded. 1st had been wiped out, and 10 was leading the rebellion. 7 was caught by surprise and nearly destroyed before the rest of the chapter responded. During the campaign the 7th was wiped out, leading to the current structure of the chapter.