The Blood Wardens (Mk2)

[legoss]

@Shinzaren, parts of your post were awesome, I was really L.A.F.F.ing lol

@Castiel and Ace, I'd say you both hit the nail pretty good, the marines with the gold trim, blue bodies and upper legs are looking pretty solid.

[Castiel]

Thanks Legoss!

 

I think I'm going to go with this one:

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/sm.php?b62c=@hidrU_hXbsb.hyvFn@@@@@@@hGxVO@.@@i8khii8khi@@_________i8khi@i8khi@@@@@@@@@@@..@@@@@@@_@@@@@.iakk7&grid=TRUE

 

@Shinzaren Thanks for the feed back, I'll get out my fluffhammer and start beating it into shape!

 

To work! :D

[Heru]

As my esteemed colleagues have already taken the colors thing and headed to Emperor knows where

I have no idea... you have me and BC giving him sensible suggestions.... AND THEN Ace brings "pants/trousers", unending amounts of busyness and Ultramarine halfbreedism into it...

 

I should flail you into oblivion Ace, along with your LHD and hat!

Edited November 1, 2011 by Heru Talon

[Shinzaren]

Save me his Femurs! I called those awhile back to make nunchucks out of.

[Brother Cambrius]

I should flail you into oblivion Ace, along with your LHD and hat!

 

Heru don't take away the LHD! :) It's my one useful place in the B+C. Oh and I'll have his teeth if they get knocked out whilst you flail him. And his hat. :P

 

On the subject of Heraldry, I took your finalised design and tweaked it just slightly, the trousers style can look a little odd when you look back at it so often the substitute is to have the waist and cod piece the same colour as the chest or the same colour as the legs along with the abdomen:

 

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/sm.php?b62c=@hidrU_hXbsb.hlOh1@@@@@@@hGxVO@.@@i8khii8khi___________i8khi@i8khi@@@@@@@@@@@..@@_@@@__@@@@@.iakk7&grid=TRUE

 

Back on topic though, as Shinzaren said, a great crusade member for the founding chapter master would be rather awkward, so as I previously suggested, possibly a famous Astartes leader during the Scouring (post the Horus Heresy when the Imperium's forces fought back to retake the corrupted worlds left by Horus' rebellion) who could have possibly disappeared fighting against chaos forces during one of the Black Crusades?

 

I also liked Shinz's suggestion of the chapter possibly actively seeking out their lost hero by proving their battle prowess and skill, possibly fighting against the very enemy that took him from them (could possibly lead to you chapter specialising in dealing with Traitor Astartes?).

 

I'll save some extra ideas/judgement for when the updates are added Castiel, until then. ;)

 

Cambrius

Edited November 1, 2011 by Brother Cambrius

[Castiel]

Right, that's it updated a bit, dive in!

 

@Brother Cambrius: I'm going to paint the codpiece blue, coz I think it'll be easier to paint that way.

 

Thanks again! :)

[Castiel]

Right, that's some information on the home world added, please let me know what you think! ;)

[NightrawenII]

Hello here...

 

Origins

All other traces of Castiel were gone, with nothing to indicate what happened to him. The chapter have since kept this artefact safe, passing it down from chapter master to chapter master. Every chapter master must swear to protect it in the hope that Castiel will one day return to lead the Chapter to glory when they can return it into his keeping.

- Well, the problem is that his disappearance was not that mysterious. So, instead of keeping it and hoping for the best, the Chapter Master should swear to discover the truth behind Castiel's disappearance or die trying.

 

Homeworld

It has been noticed by the Chapter's Apothecarium that the people of Angel's Gate recover from wounds faster than would be expected when compared to people from other planets, and that they often recover from serious cold-related injuries better than it would be expected for an unaugmented human . This healing ability is amplified in the Chapter's marines, allowing them to recover from wounds and get back to the field faster than marines from almost any other chapter.

- M.I.S.S. = Me? I'm So Super!

- For the rest; These quirks should be reflected in the Chapter, otherwise is rather pointless to mention them.

 

Battle Doctrine

The Blood Wardens are noted for their expert use of counter-assault tactics, defending a point until their opponents line showed a weakness, and then launching an all out assault on that point.

- The general consensus of this board is that marines don't hold positions, because it's just too disadvantageous for them. The Imperial Guard hold position (and hope for the best), Marines attack, attack and once more attack.

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

[Castiel]

Hello here...

 

Origins

All other traces of Castiel were gone, with nothing to indicate what happened to him. The chapter have since kept this artefact safe, passing it down from chapter master to chapter master. Every chapter master must swear to protect it in the hope that Castiel will one day return to lead the Chapter to glory when they can return it into his keeping.

- Well, the problem is that his disappearance was not that mysterious. So, instead of keeping it and hoping for the best, the Chapter Master should swear to discover the truth behind Castiel's disappearance or die trying.

 

Homeworld

It has been noticed by the Chapter's Apothecarium that the people of Angel's Gate recover from wounds faster than would be expected when compared to people from other planets, and that they often recover from serious cold-related injuries better than it would be expected for an unaugmented human . This healing ability is amplified in the Chapter's marines, allowing them to recover from wounds and get back to the field faster than marines from almost any other chapter.

- M.I.S.S. = Me? I'm So Super!

- For the rest; These quirks should be reflected in the Chapter, otherwise is rather pointless to mention them.

 

Battle Doctrine

The Blood Wardens are noted for their expert use of counter-assault tactics, defending a point until their opponents line showed a weakness, and then launching an all out assault on that point.

- The general consensus of this board is that marines don't hold positions, because it's just too disadvantageous for them. The Imperial Guard hold position (and hope for the best), Marines attack, attack and once more attack.

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

 

Thanks for the response! I'm still working on the whole vanishing chapter master part, to try to make it work without making it sound to primarchy (new word methinks!). I will definately take your suggestions onboard and fire them into the melting pot with everything else, to forge a new and stronger IA!

 

I'm still trying to figure out how to fit the fast healing in with the operation of the apothecarium, so any ideas would be greatly welcomed! Also, not quite sure what the M.I.S.S bit is about, can you explain?

 

Moving to battle doctrine, I'm definately going to change it, so that it isn't defending, but rather offering up a juicy target, and then hitting the enemy when they attack said point.

 

Once more, thanks for the feedback, its really useful! ^_^

[Shinzaren]

I'm still trying to figure out how to fit the fast healing in with the operation of the apothecarium, so any ideas would be greatly welcomed! Also, not quite sure what the M.I.S.S bit is about, can you explain?

I can field this one. Marines heal ludicrously fast, regenerating in minutes wounds that would kill a normal man. This makes them incredibly hard to kill and is one of the primary reasons that they are so deadly. You are saying that your marines are capable of healing beyond that. M.I.S.S. is a term used to describe situations like this. As your marines are healing even faster than the already ridiculous standards of regular marines, this makes them seem better than everyone else. Since this doesn't help the IA, nor provide any real insights into the character or theme of the chapter, you would be better off toning it down or dropping it altogether. Anytime an idea exists solely to promote the awesomeness of your Chapter, you are entering M.I.S.S. territory. Now, if the ability to heal faster was necessary for the chapter to survive, then it becomes useful and viable; if it has a drawback. Perhaps your geneseed is unstable, leading to a variety of medical problems that would cripple a regular marine. The only way your chapter survives is due to the accelerated healing your chapter possesses. They suffer constant internal damage, lesions, etc etc, but they heal and regenerate fast enough that they break even. It gives you the super healing, but balances the idea so that it isn't pointlessly overpowered.

[Castiel]

I see where you're coming from! I hadn't thought about it like that, I shall definately be changing it! Thanks for the heads up!

[Castiel]

Well, its been a long break, but I finally have some time to work on this some more!

 

I have updated the beliefs section of the IA, I'm going to work in a wee bit about how they think Castiel will return to them, but it could use a bit more fleshing out so if you have any ideas please fire them this way!

 

I intend to add some detail on the Fortress monastery soon and add a Gene-seed and Battlecry section.

 

That's all for now, C&C away!

[Ferrus Manus]

They were blessed at their founding with Commander Castiel to lead the new chapter forth into the galaxy in search of a homeworld.

Emphasis mine, this bit irritates me. In my opinion, a Chapter doesn't leave where ever it is they leave after being founded and given a new commander and go straight out looking for a homeworld; they are either sent to a certain sector to help bolster the defences there or they are told to head to a segmentum on similar orders. Then, they begin making war in the name of the Imperium and if they happen across a world that is too their liking they can claim it as their homeworld.

 

On a general note about the Origins, its too short. They've been around for a long time and yet you have a very short section. I'd suggest looking in the Librarium for examples.

 

Each clan is relatively small, usually between 200-300 people, although the largest of the clans can have up to 600 people.

These aren't tiny they are miniscule. When you said small, I was thinking of a thousand people minimum, with the larger being around three or four thousand people. Even on a death world, the population would be around 15,000,000 -at least according to one of the old Ed Rule books - so that would mean by your numbers there are 25000 clans. If thats what you want, ok. I'm just pointing it out for you.

 

Again, this section is a bit small. There's so much you can talk about here; planet's topography, main predators, Chapters relationship with the planet and its people, maybe a short piece on recruitment practises etc ...

 

The Blood Wardens, like many chapters, do not venerate the Emperor as a god, but rather hold him as a respected individual whose ideals they strive to uphold. They hold Sanguinius as their spiritual father and follow his example in all things.

Not to sound harsh, but how is this different to hundreds of other chapters? If anything this is the place to talk about their hunt for Castiel.

 

++++++++++++++++++++++=

 

 

Ok, a few general notes then:

 

- Firstly, you haven't really mentioned their gene-flaws. This can affect them in terms of organisation (granted you haven't got that far yet) and their beliefs, perhaps even combat doctrine.

 

- Secondly, its a bit short. Like I said above, have a look in the Librarium for some good examples and for an idea of length.

 

- So we have a blood angel decendant, counter assaulting Chapter? Great, but what makes these guys tick? A good IA doesn't just give the 'technical' details of a chapter, like organisation and the like it shows us their soul, their beliefs their theme. So what is the theme for these guys? Loyalty? Honour? Or is it more obvious like the Space Wolves?

 

 

++++++++++++++++++++++++

 

Sorry to seem so harsh, but I am trying to help, honest. :devil:

 

You've got a good foundation, now lets just see it build upward.

[Castiel]

Thanks for the reply, and don't worry, I don't mind it being ripped to shreds, it will make it better in the end! :tu:

 

I see what you are saying, lots of good points!

 

I plan to extend the Origins and Homeworld sections. I will take your advice on board and try to come up with a bit more information to put in there.

 

The Beliefs section as it stands is unfinished. As I sid in my last post, I plan to put in something about their beliefs about what happened to Castiel, I just need to come up with a suitable idea.

 

You are quite correct about the gene-flaw, big oversight on my part :lol: , I will correct that soon!

 

I hadn't really thought about what makes them tick yet, that's an important part, and I will need to give it some thought.

 

And finally, I will try to think of a reason for them to be sent to the area where they found their homeworld and how they came to claim it.

 

Thanks for the response, it was really useful! :D

[Castiel]

That's a bit more added to the Battle doctine as well, let me know what you think!