The Void Wyverns

[Blacksails]

Greetings B&C,

 

So I've decided to take the plunge and create a chapter to call my own. This will culminate with an IA article, so I encourage you all to be as rough with me as possible. Seriously. Don't hold back.

 

I'll try to sum up the idea I have in one sentence before breaking it down into points by section.

 

The Void Wyverns are pragmatic space combat specialists with a particular hatred of Imperial subjects that turn from the Emperor's light.

 

Right, so a little vague, but it is just one sentence.

 

Origins

 

-11th founding

-Created to reinforce a region of space harassed by raiders/pirates of various races/origin

-Likely UM geneseed (see no reason to pick any other one for my purposes)

-Haven't picked a UM successor chapter to draw the training cadre from

 

Homeworld

 

-Asteroid colony (no name yet)

-Large asteroid belt in system, with dozens of large mining installations and outposts scattered throughout the belt

-Important system for trade with valuable ore

-Inhabitants use system of small inter-system passenger shuttles

-Difficult to navigate in the belt, thus the system produces excellent pilots from which to draw recruits from

-Ceremonial race through the belt, winners make up new recruits for chapter

-Ancient winged creatures inhabit the belts, though mostly extinct by now (where the chapter draws its name, I'll expand on this)

 

Combat Doctrine

 

-Specialists in fleet actions and boarding actions

-Nature of recruits provides naturally talented pilots and individuals versed in void combat

-Adherents to Codex Astartes

-Special emphasis placed on Master of the Fleet, often acting as second in command to Chapter Master during a conflict

-Combat on land is flexible, adhering to no particular method of combat

 

Organization

 

-Codex chapter

-No real anomalies, though a lower induction rate of recruits due to waiting for ceremonial races to determine recruits

-Nothing special here, really

 

Beliefs

 

-Due to the high amount of trade in system and local region, Void Wyverns have developed positive relations with various trade guilds

-Though they prefer to stay out of politics, the trade guilds view the chapter positively for enhancing trade by hunting pirates/raiders

-Holds renegades and pirates with particular hatred, hunts down pirate/raider groups to extinction

-Believes that the Imperium's success depends not only on killing all the enemy Xenos forces and Chaos, but also in ensuring internal functionality

-In short, they have a sense of pragmatism when selecting targets to kill. (I don't know how to word this while still keeping them as killing machines, not nice marines)

 

Geneseed

 

-Likely UM (haven't fully settled, though there's no real reason to pick another geneseed for this chapter)

-No mutations

-View their primarch as a great warrior and strategist to be emulated after

-Nothing special here either

 

Battlecry

 

-Haven't put much thought into this

-For space combat, they could potentially broadcast a repeating message on all vox frequencies

-Otherwise, I haven't really fleshed them out that much

 

So that's what I've got so far. A general outline with much work to be done. Let me know if this is workable, and has enough flavour to be worthy of an IA. Also, any help with expanding on ideas or asking for clarification is appreciated.

 

Give me your worse, B&C.

[legoss]

Not sure, but it seems like the recruits coming from race winners would really set them back. How often do these races occur? And do they only take the winners? And since most marine recruits are like 10 years old, how skilled would they really be that young? A genetic disposition towards void life is cool and works for me, but I'm just not sure about the race thing as it is. It's a good idea, and most of the chapter seems pretty solid, so I'm hoping this goes pretty well for you, love to see where it ends.

[NightrawenII]

Greetings B&C,

 

So I've decided to take the plunge and create a chapter to call my own. This will culminate with an IA article, so I encourage you all to be as rough with me as possible. Seriously. Don't hold back.

As you wish.... :lol:

 

Origins

-Created to reinforce a region of space harassed by raiders/pirates of various races/origin

- That's job of Imperial Navy. No need for Space Marine Chapter to deal with these vagabonds.

 

Combat Doctrine

-Nature of recruits provides naturally talented pilots and individuals versed in void combat

- Well, that's fine, but as legoss said, you are looking for 12years old.

 

Beliefs

-Holds renegades and pirates with particular hatred, hunts down pirate/raider groups to extinction

- Why?

 

 

Cheers, NightrawenII.

[Ace Debonair]

So I've decided to take the plunge and create a chapter to call my own. This will culminate with an IA article, so I encourage you all to be as rough with me as possible. Seriously. Don't hold back.

Very well. :lol:

 

EDIT:

Bah, Nightrawen beat me to that! :lol:

-Difficult to navigate in the belt, thus the system produces excellent pilots from which to draw recruits from

-Ceremonial race through the belt, winners make up new recruits for chapter

-Ancient winged creatures inhabit the belts, though mostly extinct by now (where the chapter draws its name, I'll expand on this)

 

So... you don't look for exceptional combat skill in your recruits, then?

That could make your chapter a bit sub-standard when it comes to crushing the enemies of mankind.

 

EDIT: BBCode typo. The worst sort of typo.

-Due to the high amount of trade in system and local region, Void Wyverns have developed positive relations with various trade guilds

-Though they prefer to stay out of politics, the trade guilds view the chapter positively for enhancing trade by hunting pirates/raiders

-Holds renegades and pirates with particular hatred, hunts down pirate/raider groups to extinction

-Believes that the Imperium's success depends not only on killing all the enemy Xenos forces and Chaos, but also in ensuring internal functionality

 

Wouldn't they hate traitor Astartes even more than normal traitor humans?

 

I mean, they were the chosen of the Emperor and should have been enforcing His will rather than seeking to undo the Imperium.

 

 

So that's what I've got so far. A general outline with much work to be done. Let me know if this is workable, and has enough flavour to be worthy of an IA. Also, any help with expanding on ideas or asking for clarification is appreciated.

 

Seems workable to me, although I'm a little hazy on the recruitment deal.

It mgiht be better to recruit exceptional fighters as per normal, then either train them like crazy at piloting while they're scouts or take skilled pilots from the homeworld as Chapter Serfs to do all the tricky flying business. -_-

[Blacksails]

Thanks for the replies so far! I'll do my best to reply to all the points and fix them.

 

So... you don't look for exceptional combat skill in your recruits, then?

That could make your chapter a bit sub-standard when it comes to crushing the enemies of mankind.

 

Hmm, I didn't think of that really. I guess it makes sense they should be a little more...fighty. Let's say the series of mining outposts/colonies throughout the belt are partly controlled by gangs/cartels vying to control as much of the trade as possible, leading to gang wars and skirmishes. Many younger children with no desire to work in the mines will join the gangs and help in fighting. They also help in piloting small attack craft to raid opposing cartel transports. No more race, just pluck promising candidates.

 

Would that work any better? Still makes them 11-14, which should be suitable I imagine.

 

 

Wouldn't they hate traitor Astartes even more than normal traitor humans?

 

I mean, they were the chosen of the Emperor and should have been enforcing His will rather than seeking to undo the Imperium.

 

That makes sense. Some chapters hate certain things more than others, so I guess the Void Wyverns would be Traitor Astartes (including chaos) > Traitor citizens > Xenos. Is that workable?

 

Seems workable to me, although I'm a little hazy on the recruitment deal.

It mgiht be better to recruit exceptional fighters as per normal, then either train them like crazy at piloting while they're scouts or take skilled pilots from the homeworld as Chapter Serfs to do all the tricky flying business.

 

Also a good idea. Let me know if my new recruitment deal works.

 

Origins

-Created to reinforce a region of space harassed by raiders/pirates of various races/origin

- That's job of Imperial Navy. No need for Space Marine Chapter to deal with these vagabonds.

 

Okay, I guess what I'm trying to say is that they weren't created so as much as tasked to shore up the defense in the area. I haven't picked the area, but let's assume it has a lower IN presence and a space marine chapter suitably reinforces the area. The IN is similar to the IG in that is the hammer and the anvil, while the space marines are still a more precision tool, even in space. They wouldn't solely be dealing with piratical threats, but it becomes a common duty to eliminate the source of the threats harassing the shipping lanes. The IN does the escorting and what-not, but the Void Wyverns would find the fleet proper/base of operations and eliminate it.

 

Make more sense? Workable?

 

Combat Doctrine

-Nature of recruits provides naturally talented pilots and individuals versed in void combat

- Well, that's fine, but as legoss said, you are looking for 12years old.

 

I altered the recruitment process above, let me know if its any better.

 

Beliefs

-Holds renegades and pirates with particular hatred, hunts down pirate/raider groups to extinction

- Why?

 

You know, I'm not sure why. Maybe early in their formation, a pirate group of traitor marines and normal humans killed a key chapter figure or a large number of the chapter. Since then, they just hate them more than Xenos. Could that work as a plausible reason?

 

Thanks again, keep it coming. I like where its going already.

[Arkangilos]

So, here is an idea for the recruitment challenges. Feel free to disgard them or use them. ;)

 

 

So, sort of like what they were saying with the races to determine the winners, the race idea is a little wierd if that is all that is used.

 

HOWEVER! you should not take the race out. Make it PART of the trial. So, for example, the first part is that they have to clear a certain area of creatures within a certain amount of time.

 

Then the next part, they have to clear another room with only 10 minutes of air, or they have to compete against the other recruits with only 10 minutes of air.

 

Then they have to complete an objective with a team, and only have a limited amount of air. Something like that.

 

Then, after that, they have complete an obstacle course (also, with limited amount of air?)

 

After completing the obstacle course, they have to get into a ship, and pilot it around, while racing with the other trainees.

 

Why limited amount of air? Well, space lacks air, so it gets across the, "Hey, you might not be able to breath!" factor. Also, doing aerobic exercises without air is HARD! The less oxygen they have, the harder the tasks at hand are, so the challenges become far more challenging ;)

 

And as the challenges progress, I would give them less and less air.

______________________________

 

Also, the only reason I am suggesting something like this, is because most chapters I know of have a multi-stage recruitment technique. They usually face a series of challenges that include a wide variety.

[voi shet magir]

The asteroid race is totally acceptable. Actually, it's great. Chapters don't need to recruit skilled fighters. They can inject skills directly into aspirants' brains and train them for ten years. Finding an aspirant who's the doogie howser of storm troopers doesn't make a whit of difference, because there is no continuity between being a storm trooper and being a space marine. Nurses don't level up to doctor.

 

Chapters are looking for genetic compatibility, and character.

 

Ultramarines' agiselus barracks find candidates who can function in a disciplined hierarchy. Wolf Priests only look for aspirants who have enough ambition to become the next Wolf Lord. The recruitment scene in Angels of Darkness involves a tribal contest that is really just for show: afterwards, the winners are given a loyalty test, and even out of the ones who pass that, the only aspirants who are accepted are thos who are willing to execute the ones who failed.

 

I am furious right now at the inadequacy of everyone in the world at synthesizing a remotely sophisticated response It's inconsiderate, like giving someone a lifetime magazine subscription in condolence for a terminal diagnosis.

 

If a chapter is nade up of asteroid race winners, they will be extremely risk tolerant, good at instinctual judgment, and meticulous in prepation. How does a pre-flight check list translate into their treatment of wargear, or better yet, of allies? When they get to combat, they must be daring, does that mean they don't need to use large numbers to win?

[Arkangilos]

The asteroid race is totally acceptable. Actually, it's great. Chapters don't need to recruit skilled fighters. They can inject skills directly into aspirants' brains and train them for ten years. Finding an aspirant who's the doogie howser of storm troopers doesn't make a whit of difference, because there is no continuity between being a storm trooper and being a space marine. Nurses don't level up to doctor.

 

Chapters are looking for genetic compatibility, and character.

 

Ultramarines' agiselus barracks find candidates who can function in a disciplined hierarchy. Wolf Priests only look for aspirants who have enough ambition to become the next Wolf Lord. The recruitment scene in Angels of Darkness involves a tribal contest that is really just for show: afterwards, the winners are given a loyalty test, and even out of the ones who pass that, the only aspirants who are accepted are thos who are willing to execute the ones who failed.

 

I am furious right now at the inadequacy of everyone in the world at synthesizing a remotely sophisticated response It's inconsiderate, like giving someone a lifetime magazine subscription in condolence for a terminal diagnosis.

 

If a chapter is nade up of asteroid race winners, they will be extremely risk tolerant, good at instinctual judgment, and meticulous in prepation. How does a pre-flight check list translate into their treatment of wargear, or better yet, of allies? When they get to combat, they must be daring, does that mean they don't need to use large numbers to win?

 

Hah, when put like this, it actually is a great idea :P

 

But I think you should emphasize this. Not just say "the winners are taken as recruits." But explain WHY they are taken as recruits.

[Donkey Kong]

This will culminate with an IA article, so I encourage you all to be as rough with me as possible. Seriously. Don't hold back.

 

Kinky. So, let's do this.

 

-Haven't picked a UM successor chapter to draw the training cadre from

 

Obviously that means mine.*

 

Homeworld

 

I find it odd that you're looking at this from the standpoint of recruiting pilots and not warriors. I also find it odd that you believe that growing up in Zero-G is all that is necessary to be a good pilot. I believe that winning that race should be something that proves a good warrior. If the race is adequately dangerous, you could force a Space Wolf-esque spin on the crew. That is to say, your serfs are not failed aspirants, as they're all dead, but men and women from the community at large.

 

If you choose to keep the idea of mining colonies, you should feel comfortable to go beyond simply communicating with trade groups. Your chapter should have some sort of relationship with the Adeptus Mechanicus through their raw materials, whether it's uneasy due to claiming refineries for recruiting grounds, or forced agreement due to desires in mutual territory. If it were up to me, I would simply leave it as a colony ship that got wrecked in the asteroid belt.

 

I'd like to hear your Wyvern idea before I criticize it, right now it's too vague and can go either way.

 

-Adherents to Codex Astartes

-Combat on land is flexible, adhering to no particular method of combat

 

Having both of these points is redundant. Since the Codex is so large, it inherently means having a flexible combat style.

 

-Special emphasis placed on Master of the Fleet, often acting as second in command to Chapter Master during a conflict

 

I like this idea, but it needs to be fleshed out more. For example, are you using Master of the Fleet as a title for a specific captain, or is your Master of the Fleet going to be the space marine or subservient human in command of the present fleet elements in any conflict?

 

Let's say the series of mining outposts/colonies throughout the belt are partly controlled by gangs/cartels vying to control as much of the trade as possible, leading to gang wars and skirmishes. Many younger children with no desire to work in the mines will join the gangs and help in fighting. They also help in piloting small attack craft to raid opposing cartel transports. No more race, just pluck promising candidates.

 

Under these circumstances, you've effectively incorporated the exact kinds of people your chapter hates as an obstacle in the chapter's recruitment process. I can't decide whether or not that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard or on par with Marshmallow Fluff, Peanut Butter, and Nutella on Sliced Bread.

 

Okay, I guess what I'm trying to say is that they weren't created so as much as tasked to shore up the defense in the area. I haven't picked the area, but let's assume it has a lower IN presence and a space marine chapter suitably reinforces the area. The IN is similar to the IG in that is the hammer and the anvil, while the space marines are still a more precision tool, even in space. They wouldn't solely be dealing with piratical threats, but it becomes a common duty to eliminate the source of the threats harassing the shipping lanes. The IN does the escorting and what-not, but the Void Wyverns would find the fleet proper/base of operations and eliminate it.

 

Make more sense? Workable?

 

No, not under the current circumstances. You can try and twist it any which way, it will still look like this.

 

Let's say the're on the border of a sector. But, they're a mining colony. The value of the raw materials will supersede the inconvenience of patrolling an extended area. Add to that, if it's a neighboring Forge World interested in the material, then the Adeptus Mechanicus Navy will also play a part in patrolling the threatened space. Add to that, Imperial Navy ships probably spend most of their time patrolling Imperial Space anyway. Unless the Chapter coming in to claim territory is the aspect that throws everything off, since the Chapter will stake a claim to its perceived territory, the result would be having the Chapter fight to control a problem it made worse.

 

I like the concept, I want to see the execution.

 

*I jest, of course. But, if you want, I'll welcome having little Reavers.

[Blacksails]

*A lot of good ideas and feedback*

Thanks guys, some good stuff in there. Not gonna quote the whole blocks but that really helps me figuring out the recruitment idea.

KingHonKong, you raise a lot of good points and I like the feedback, but for now, I'll focus on the following two points, as I feel the nature of the homeworld (and why they're there) and the recruitment process are the foundations of this chapter.

Under these circumstances, you've effectively incorporated the exact kinds of people your chapter hates as an obstacle in the chapter's recruitment process. I can't decide whether or not that's the stupidest thing I've ever heard or on par with Marshmallow Fluff, Peanut Butter, and Nutella on Sliced Bread.

Completely unintended, and essentially a massive brain lapse in rational thought. However, as you've pointed out, it could be a great idea if done properly. With the feedback from Telanicus and Voi shet magir, I now have two possible ideas for recruitment.

The first being an elaborate contest that aims to test recruits based off the perils and experiences of their habitat. This would include things like a race through belt, the slaying of one of the beasts that inhabit the asteroids (the void wyverns as the locals call them, where the chapter draws its name...more to come on them), and combat element in a zero-g environment. This brings in recruits that have a warrior instinct, yet are naturally suited to void combat and the nuances of space in general.

The second being simply a plucking of promising individuals from the dredges of soceity. These would be the children that have turned to the gangs or pressed in to service. These individuals are promising because they must fight the other gangs in brutal battles for control of mines/docking bays/etc., they must pilot small craft to attack/board opposing gang shuttles, and they have unsurpassed loyalty to the gang.

The way I see the gang aspect working into the chapter's personality successfully is that being a gang member is much like being in a family, or in this case, a chapter. The gang's prize loyalty above all, and there exists a constant hatred of all other gangs and cartels. Each gang/cartel views itself as the only worthy one to control the colony and fights with guns and diplomacy at every turn to eliminate the other gangs. This carries over in to the chapter once recruited, where each recruit becomes fanatically loyal to the chapter, and views all opposing chapters/warbands/renegades as vile scum that need to be eradicated, much akin to how they viewed the gangs and cartels in the asteroids. The only real problem I see with this is that the recruits may still have ties to their gangs and consequently mistrust recruits from other gangs, but that could be dealt with by some early psycho-therapy-training stuff.

Let's say the're on the border of a sector. But, they're a mining colony. The value of the raw materials will supersede the inconvenience of patrolling an extended area. Add to that, if it's a neighboring Forge World interested in the material, then the Adeptus Mechanicus Navy will also play a part in patrolling the threatened space. Add to that, Imperial Navy ships probably spend most of their time patrolling Imperial Space anyway. Unless the Chapter coming in to claim territory is the aspect that throws everything off, since the Chapter will stake a claim to its perceived territory, the result would be having the Chapter fight to control a problem it made worse.

Right, this makes sense. I really want this concept to work, however. What if the Void Wyvern's were tasked to fortify the north-eastern area of Segmentum Ultima (essentially the frontier, where only Orks and pirates roam freely). The Void Wyverns select their system due to the small human population from which to draw recruits from. At this time, the system has been largely forgotten by Imperial records due loss of contact from pirate raiders cutting off the area. Once fortified by the Void Wyverns and the surrounding area coming back into contact, the ore begins flowing back to the Forge Worlds and trade re-established. Void Wyverns are forced into regular contact with the Mechanicus and trade houses, developing an overall positive relation that keeps the armouries stocked and a degree of political goodwill.

In short, colony established pre-great crusade in the initial settlement of everything, gets forgotten about due to pirates when Terra is cut off from its galactic empire. Rediscovered during great crusade, but trade routes never get fully developed during the chaos of the Horus Heresy. Void Wyverns dispatched to sector in late M33, find colony controlled by cartels warring for control of scarce resources.

Let me know if any of that works better or makes any sense. I've done a fair amount of reading into the fluff of the universe, but my knowledge pales in comparison to what I've seen on these boards. Feel free to educate me if I've made an incorrect assumption.

I am only now starting to realize how much work is actually involved in making a good IA. Loving the feedback so far everyone.

++EDIT++

Here's a proposed colour scheme for you all to chew on.

[Kihriban]

I thought the race was a fantastic idea for candidates until the numbers came up - you'll need more recruits (as someone said above). So I don't think it can work as a recruitment.

 

However, it's a wicked idea and might work well as a ceremonial thing that happens annually (or less frequent), with each company picking a representative to compete (for honour and perhaps for first pick at missions?).

 

Also, I think you really need to flesh out this wyvern business. What do the animals look like? how many? what do they do? We don't need to hear about all of that, but we need to hear a little more. Also, you said there weren't that many wyverns left, killing one for each space marine you induct then seems pretty stupid.

 

Finally, colour scheme is a little bland. I think once you flesh out the wyverns, you can spice it up a little. Possibly with wings, or fangs on their helmets, or the tail barb (if these wyverns do have tail barbs). Also, put in another non-greyscale colour. I'm a firm believer in the fact that an army should probably have 3 main colours (2 main colours and a main highlight) to make it work, and that it's better if black and white are not the two main colours.

[Blacksails]

But I like greyscale colours...^_^

 

I was thinking about adding in some orange to spice it up, I'll go back to the drawing boards with that.

 

So, allow me to flesh out this wyvern business.

 

For the unaware, a wyverns is essentially an offshoot of a dragon. Instead of having four legs and a pair of wings (or a pair of arms and legs if you prefer), a wyvern only has a pair of legs and a pair of wings. Picture a cross between a bat and a standard dragon and you have the basic bone structure of a wyvern. To make them the fearsome creatures they are, they are usually a little smaller than a Thunderhawk gunship.

 

The wyverns are capable of living in space (asteroids have no atmosphere), and the creatures were in a dormant state when colonists first arrived. Increasing numbers were awoken from the mining operations, which posed a serious threat to the colony's future. The wyverns are territorial and will only attack if encroached upon, or if they require food (not very often, slow metabolism and all that). There is no definite number of wyverns in system, and they are constantly being awoken and stumbled upon.

 

Now, I'm not sure wether or not it should be a trial for a human to complete to kill one before becoming a recruit, or if it should be a final test for a recruit before becoming a full battle-brother. The latter makes more sense as significantly less wyverns would be killed, being more reasonable. Remember though, that the asteroid belt is massive. The surface area of the belt surpasses the surface area of several planets, leaving a huge amount of unexplored/uncharted sections and asteroids. Plus, they're slowly reproducing, so while inevitably they will eventually die and become extinct, the likelihood of that happening in the next 10,000 years is unlikely.

 

In short, dormant ancient creatures live in the belt. Pose threat to colonists when disturbed. Great honour to kill one. Known to occasionally attack small space-faring vessels (no bigger than a system monitor). Number is unknown, astreroid belt is still largely unexplored.

 

Workable?

 

I'll be working on getting a rough IA draft sometime this weekend or next week. The race idea is cool, I'll admit, and I think I can work into a bigger competition that tests all aspects of combat and skills in space.

 

Thanks!

[Donkey Kong]

Unfortunately, I also find the scheme boring. Odd, considering how the Relicators look fine to me. Personally, I think the white shoulders is doing more harm than good, sort of contrasting nothing (grey) with nothing (white) to highlight blandness. Please, take that in the most constructive possible way. With the Reavers, I had the Chapter icon first, then the color, then the character. If I were to recommend anything though, I would go in the exact opposite order: Character to color to icon.

 

If I'm going to offer any advice, do not make it an initiation requirement to kill a wyvern. It leads to the whole Descent of Angels problem where a handful of children can kill the ohmigawd chaos monster terror of the forest. If you want to include "killing the monster," I think you should follow the Salamanders method: To become a veteran in the first company, you must kill the beast.

 

Beast that lives in nothing (space) is simply odd to me. 40k has done it in the past with the Void Whale, so you do have a precedent if anyone challenges you.

 

I have two suggestions, rather things I would do if the chapter were simply in my hands. Feel free to ignore me completely.

 

Place your colony near a small warp storm. Your wyverns could be lesser daemons of sorts. It also makes the need for a space marine chapter all the more pressing.

 

Another route to take would be making the wyverns machines of sorts. I don't know whether or not you've ever seen Aero-Troopers: The Nemeclous Crusade. If you have, all the better, if not, I'd recommend it just because. Simply put, that giant, flying shark machine on the cover is Nemeclous, flying robot anythings in space is awesome, 40k has a precedent for homicidal robots, and this was probably a bad idea, but I'll keep it here anyway if only to note this adorable, underrated film.

[Blacksails]

Okay, so I figure I'll drop the killing of the wyverns for initiation. I figure I'll leave them as predators that the chapter drew inspiration from.

The wyverns are feared predators and are fearsome both in the narrow confines of the asteroids and in the void attacking passing cargo ships and system monitors.

I understand its strange that they can survive in space, but as you pointed out, I drew inspiration from the humourous void whales and the Tyranids with their bio ships.

The daemon idea isn't bad, but I figure they can work just as natives of the belt.

I will add that the slaying of a wyvern by a marine is considered a great honour and accomplishment.

Further, here's a different scheme, now with orange!

I'm going for something simple (I'm a bad and slow painter), so any advice should take that into consideration.

[Pulse]

So... you don't look for exceptional combat skill in your recruits, then?

That could make your chapter a bit sub-standard when it comes to crushing the enemies of mankind.

You'd be hard pressed to find any 12 year olds with "exceptional combat skill" within any culture.

[The Shiny One]

I liked your first color scheme much more.

Maybe you could try to make it a little more asymmetric, maybe just paint one of the arms white, gold or something you like. Thats pretty easy to paint but generates a lot of contrast.

And you could add colorful Bolters/Weapons. Something like The Deathwatch or THIS.

[Shuggnuggath]

You could try making the chest and backpack orange. Similar to the scythes of the emperor.

I think maybe Nova Marines as the training crew.

[Blacksails]

Alright, I haven't forgotten about this! I have written the first draft for the IA. Now, its only the rough outline, basically just fleshed out bullet points. Any and all comments and critique encouraged. Let me know if I forgot anything important or missed anything.

The light grey parts are mithril silver, being the aquila and shoulder trim.

Origins

Founded in the waning years of M32, the Void Wyverns were one of many chapters created during the 7th founding. Descended from the proud heritage of Jaghatai Khan, the Void Wyverns began life as a small cadre of selected warriors from the Marauders chapter. Tasked with defending the far reaches of Ultima Segmentum, the Void Wyverns quickly established a presence in the pirate infested fringe space, re-establishing long forgotten trade routes and bringing the Emperor’s divine will to the heretical renegades and xenos raiders of the sector.

While the heavy lifting of re-charting the sector and establishing trade once again was done primarily by the Imperial Navy, the Void Wyverns spent much of their early years drawing recruits from various planets en route to their final destination. After nearly a century of steady recruitment from the scattered and lost Imperial worlds and countless skirmishes in the void and on the surface, the Void Wyverns were home. Claiming the system of Tenebris, an asteroid mining colony long without Imperial contact, as their home and bastion, the Void Wyverns began a long campaign of removing the heretical and xenos taint from the surrounding systems.

Homeworld

The system of Tenebris is marked uniquely by a single massive asteroid belt. The vast expanse of the rocky space scape would cover the expanse between Holy Terra and Mars. Human civilization is confined to small asteroid mining colonies built on the larger asteroids or through a series of connected asteroids.

The system was initially settled during mankind’s great stellar exodus during the Dark Age of Technology due to its vast wealth of mineral deposits that fed the great manufactorums on various nearby forge worlds. Isolated during the Age of Strife by a series of warp storms, the citizens of Tenebris were left to their own devices for millennia. Untainted from the predations of the warp due to their isolation, the various colonies that were once controlled by a centralized authority soon turned on each other and small conflicts broke out to control the scarce resources to survive. Gangs and cartels quickly established power on various colonies, surviving on recycled water and whatever ice they could find in system or on passing comets, and by using small hydroponic facilities and nutrient slime.

Communication was difficult and only the bravest and most skilled pilots could navigate the ever changing routes to each colony, limiting trade. To make matters worse for the colonists, the belt was home to an unknown number of beasts that lay dormant in the asteroids, a forgotten relic of the belt’s primordial history. The great creatures were fully capable of limited flight in the void and could threaten even the largest system monitors and cargo ships, let alone the damage they could do to an asteroid’s facilities. Revered and feared, the skull of one of great creatures would quickly elevate the lowliest citizen to a respected leader. The habitants of Tenebris knew them as void wyverns.

The constant struggle for survival and internecine conflict kept the population stable, though life was difficult in the confined spaces of the colonies. None of this changed with the arrival of the space marines that would adopt the name of the great creatures. The arrival of the Void Wyverns chapter brought a degree of wealth to the system, though little trickled down to the labourers in the mines. The citizens proved to be great candidates for space marines, particularly those young and brave pilots that flew through the belt to assist in cartel raids against opposing cartels in hit and run attacks.

Once every year, a great competition would take place, pitting the best youth from every colony in a struggle to win the favour of the Void Wyverns and become a neophyte. Testing all aspects of life in the belt, the aspirants would demonstrate their best piloting skills, their finest survival skills in the harsh environment of the void, and would display their combat skills throughout the competition to ensure only the strongest and most able survived. Those that did, perhaps several dozen of a few thousand would be inducted as neophytes, of which even less would receive the honour of becoming battle-brothers. Those that failed would become servitors or crew members aboard the Void Wyvern’s fleet.

Combat Doctrine

Born aboard the narrow confines of the colonies and forced to work and fight in the mining shafts and aboard small cargo craft, every Void Wyvern has been bred to fight in void and in the close quarter maze of naval boarding. The Void Wyverns have an affinity for combat in space, ranging from fighting in the void proper, to boarding assault against enemy vessels, to ship-to-ship actions against enemy fleets. While possessing a fleet no larger or more specialized than what is prescribed by the codex astartes, there is special importance placed on escort vessel and rapid strike vessels purpose built for ship-to-ship engagements, such as the Nova class frigate or Firestorm class frigate.

Being Astartes, they are no stranger to combat on land. When bringing the emperor’s divine might against the enemy on the surface, they fight flexibly, adapting to each situation as needed, exemplifying the teaching of the Codex Astartes. To supplement this, the chapter will make greater use of orbital bombardment, ensuring they have superiority in orbit before committing to the surface.

The Master of the Fleet will often act as the chapter’s second in command during times when the chapter master is absent or performing duties elsewhere. The Master of the Fleet nevertheless remains the position of the fourth company captain, a position assigned based on a candidate’s natural talent for combat in space, in all its forms. During an extensive campaign, the Master of the Fleet will often act as the chief advisor to the chapter master, lending his knowledge as the most skilled naval strategist and tactician in the chapter.

Organization

The Void Wyverns are a codex adherent chapter with no significant deviances or anomalies. The Master of the Fleet is given extra reverence due to the nature of their preferred combat style. Otherwise, the Void Wyverns maintain the normal roster of companies, each one with an associated strike cruiser to ensure a degree of orbital support in any deployment.

Beliefs

The Void Wyverns have formed loosely beneficial relationships with the Adeptus Mechanicus and various trade guilds and houses due to the mineral trade that originates from their system. While the Adeptus Mechanicus was not fond of a chapter claiming a system that once formed part of their ancient trade system, the issue was settled promptly and to everyone’s benefit. The Void Wyverns prefer not to interfere with the political machinations of the Imperium, leaving the Mechanicus and the trade houses to profit with no hindrance, while the Void Wyverns maintain a full armoury directly from the forges of the Ad Mech. In addition, the political goodwill afforded to the Void Wyverns from the Ad Mech and the trade houses ensures the Void Wyverns are not interfered with.

This relationship with the Imperium at large has given the chapter a more pragmatic outlook than many chapters. While still fiercely loyal to the Emperor and possessing a hatred of anything xenos or heretical, the chapter understands that the fabric of the Imperium must be maintained for it to survive. In practice, the Void Wyverns are fiercely defensive of their sector of space, forgoing the attitude of many crusade oriented chapters.

Rarely seen far from their sector of space, the Void Wyverns are kept occupied by the constant pirate fleets, xenos raiders, and traitor outposts. Their focus on maintaining order in their claimed sector may be frowned upon by the HLoT in some situations, their value in defending a far flung sector from the predations that would otherwise destroy the sector keep the Void Wyverns in good graces; though not without support from the Ad Mech and trade houses of the sector.

Geneseed

Descended from the geneseed of Jaghatai Khan, the Void Wyverns were created by a training cadre from the Marauders. The chapter has no visible mutations and their geneseed is stable and pure, as befits the legacy of Khan. However, the savage ferocity of Khan’s legacy will occasionally break through, often when repelling enemy boarders, seeing it as an insult to their skills in naval engagements.

Battlecry

Due to their preference for combat in space, the Void Wyverns do not utilize a battlecry, which translates to ground combat as well.

That's it so far. Thanks to anyone who takes the team to even read all of that. Hopefully one day it'll grow up and become and IA one day.

[Donkey Kong]

The scheme still bores me, but that's your decision to make. Onto the IA.

 

the Void Wyverns quickly established a presence in the pirate infested fringe space, re-establishing long forgotten trade routes and bringing the Emperor’s divine will to the heretical renegades and xenos raiders of the sector.

 

This is so general it's not even funny. You're claiming to defend the fringe of, I kid you not, over one quarter of the galaxy.

 

the Void Wyverns spent much of their early years drawing recruits from various planets en route to their final destination. After nearly a century of steady recruitment

 

Oxymoron.

 

marked uniquely

 

Poor wording. What does that mean?

 

Human civilization is confined to small asteroid mining colonies built on the larger asteroids or through a series of connected asteroids.

 

Kindly read that sentence aloud ten times fast. Hear the problem?

 

The system was initially settled during mankind’s great stellar exodus during the Dark Age of Technology due to its vast wealth of mineral deposits that fed the great manufactorums on various nearby forge worlds. Isolated during the Age of Strife by a series of warp storms, the citizens of Tenebris were left to their own devices for millennia. Untainted from the predations of the warp due to their isolation, the various colonies that were once controlled by a centralized authority soon turned on each other and small conflicts broke out to control the scarce resources to survive. Gangs and cartels quickly established power on various colonies, surviving on recycled water and whatever ice they could find in system or on passing comets, and by using small hydroponic facilities and nutrient slime.

 

Very grimdark^TM without being over the top. I approve. Although, the system of colonies should have their own local centralized authority.

 

I still think that the focus you're putting on pilots doesn't make sense. A good pilot is not necessarily a good warrior. Also, if those competitions in the race are so difficult, your failures wouldn't be around to become serfs. They'd be too dead.

 

The Master of the Fleet will often act as the chapter’s second in command during times when the chapter master is absent or performing duties elsewhere. The Master of the Fleet nevertheless remains the position of the fourth company captain, a position assigned based on a candidate’s natural talent for combat in space, in all its forms. During an extensive campaign, the Master of the Fleet will often act as the chief advisor to the chapter master, lending his knowledge as the most skilled naval strategist and tactician in the chapter.

 

Your Chapter Master will not be present in every Chapter action. Your Fourth Company Captain won't be there either. It's even less likely that they'll be places together.

 

Ad Mech.

 

Treat the IA as an official document. This should not be here.

 

Due to their preference for combat in space, the Void Wyverns do not utilize a battlecry, which translates to ground combat as well.

 

Very fitting.

 

Overall, it still needs work. Your Origins bleeds into your Homeworld, for better or worse. I still don't find the name very striking, which is unfortunate because I think I like where the Chapter is going. Sections obviously need to be expanded, as they should in any first draft. But, that's why I'm here.

[Blacksails]

Thank you again KingHongKong, all excellent points. I did laugh at the asteroid sentence...sometimes I get too excited about a particular word and need to use it four times in a sentence.

 

Instead of saying they were sent to defend the fringe of Ultima Segmentum, I'll specify that they were to defend a small sector in the northern fringe of Ultima Segmentum. I do admit that I was particularly vague. Hopefully that clears it up.

 

I cleaned up the part about their initial recruitment. It will make more sense once I post an updated draft.

 

I'll figure out something to do with the Master of the Fleet. I admit that he was an afterthought in my chapter's theme.

 

As for the AdMech comment, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by that. I want to relay the fact that they've had to deal with the AdMech and by controlling a mineral rich colony will inevitably mean either positive relations through some sort of benificial agreement or negative relations if the chapter decides to exclude its wealth from everyone else.

 

Granted, I could simply state quickly that they have a positive relation due to trade, similar to how the Salamanders trade their resources after each time of trial with the Ad Mech in exchange for goodies.

 

Reading though it again, I honestly think I can drop the whole space wyvern thing. It doesn't really add much. Their preference for space combat is dictated by their enemies, by their history, and by the nature of their recruits.

 

As for the recruitment issue, it seems some people here are divided on the matter. Considering recruits are young, they often can't display any staggering feats of strength or warrior-like prowess. That and every marine will undergo training and augmentation regardless, but drawing from a populace with an innate skill and tendency toward space combat will give the full-fledged marines a natural desire to fight in that environment.

 

I also believe that far from every chapter recruits initiates based solely on some form of combat skill set. For example, the Salamanders do not recruit individuals based on combat abilities. In fact, its rather vague how they do their recruitment, and for all we know they could be selected based off their skill in the forge.

 

I think I'm sticking with the whole pilot thing, but I'll tweak it, cause it needs it.

 

At the end of the day, I'm still open to names, colour schemes, and other ideas. I should have another draft up soon.

 

Sorry I took a while to get around to this. Life happens.

[Donkey Kong]

Thank you again KingHongKong, all excellent points.

 

I aim to please. If I may, I'd recommend sticking all drafts in the OP, and periodically updating it.

 

As for the AdMech comment, I'm not sure exactly what you mean by that. I want to relay the fact that they've had to deal with the AdMech and by controlling a mineral rich colony will inevitably mean either positive relations through some sort of benificial agreement or negative relations if the chapter decides to exclude its wealth from everyone else.

 

I should have been more clear. My comment had absolutely nothing to do with whether or not including the Adeptus Mechanicus was a good idea, but it was to stop using "AdMech" in your IA. My words were "treat the IA as an official document," so, you don't use abbreviations like Ad Mech, you say Adeptus Mechanicus or Cult Mechanicus.

 

I think I'm sticking with the whole pilot thing, but I'll tweak it, cause it needs it.

 

My opinion still stands that it should be tweaked out. But, you know what they say about opinions.

 

At the end of the day, I'm still open to names, colour schemes, and other ideas. I should have another draft up soon.

 

Shinzaren had an idea for a Chapter called the Void Walkers last month. Since then, I don't think he's done anything with the idea. However, it shares some traits with your own Chapter, and it's a lovely name that I'd hate to see go to waste. You could ask him if has any intention of using it, if you'd like to be overly considerate, or you could just nab it.

 

For your color scheme, you need to decide whether or not your boys want to stick out or be sneaky. This is an issue that has more to do with character than anything else. I think that you'd be best with either Black or White, depending on whether you'd like to have a sneaky bunch, or a bunch that wants to stick out. I also think that white ties the them to the White Scars, as well as gives them a look like modern day astronauts.

 

The 8th Founding apparently took place mid M34, your 7th founding is pretty early in comparison, considering how the 3rd founding occurs at the beginning of M32.

 

The effects of living in Zero G would have adverse effects on the physical durability of your recruits. How are you going to address this? A Chapter quirk could be to insist on not having any artificial gravity aboard their ships.

 

You make a comment about how the race is held annually. That's great and all, but

2. It's even harder to organize with the fractured society your suggesting.

 

I think you should consider my suggestion about having volunteers, not failed recruits, as the primary source of Chapter Serfs. Your race should be appropriately difficult, a wrong turn could eject you into the void, or you could run out of oxygen, and so on. The point is, individuals who don't complete the race should be too dead to be anything of value to the Chapter.