LORDSL Posted November 15, 2011 Share Posted November 15, 2011 The Pride Of Terra or Mostly know as the Pride a chapter shrouded in legend. The pride was founded in a time of desperation and fear, during the first days of the Horus Heresy. They were a legion of Neophytes, formed from other chapters Neophytes to be used as a sort of shield during the Battle of Terra. They were totally expendable in order to by time for the Emperor and his Imperial fists to strengthen their defenses. Their unquestionable loyalty to the Emperor rivaled that of any chapter. They were brave and showed no fear of death, a fate that all would soon face. And so they met their enemy's of the black legion on the outskirts of the palace. Their ranks were fitted with 600 marines 6 companys to fight and die for the Emperor. They fought to the last man, but they did their job. Buying the Emperors forces valuable time to prepare for the oncoming assault. However many years after the stand of The Pride. The Highlords odered the construction of a chapter in their name to honor the fallen. Their gene seed was derived from the glorious imperial fists chapter. To even be considered into The Pride the Neophyte has to have some Terrian blood, or his family must have historical ties back to the old earth. Now they lay dormant in their ships on the outskirts of the terrian solar system. Lead by fleet master Leo a battle hardened marine who proved himself against the Ork Menace on the planet of Crysto. A harvest world of the imperium ravanged by the ork horde of Brakka and lead by the horrific warboss Kunta Kon for its bountiful supply of fuel and resources. Guarded by a large garrison of imperial soldiers that had all but been wiped out. The Imperium called amongst one of its deadliest chapters the Pride of Terra. With hearts of lions and ferocity to match they embarked to Crysto. The first wave fell to the planet in drop pods, a surprise assault lead by Leo himself. He dropped in with his first company terminators, and his own personal guard the Sword Keepers of Sierra. Leos speech: Brothers prepare for combat for you will see it, Prepare for death for you will bring it, Prepare for glory for you have it or fall trying. Kill without remorse and have no mercy. We march to this planet in the name of the emperor for the good of man and the imperium. We march for Terra. You are my pride and I shall lead you till death! Brothers What is your life? My honour is my life. What is your fate? My duty is my fate. What is your fear? My fear is to fail. What is your reward? My salvation is my reward. What is your craft? My craft is death. What is your pledge? My pledge is eternal service What is your Duty? To serve Emperor's Will. What is Emperor's Will? That we fight and die. What is Death? It is our duty. Do not fall do not retreat only in death may you sleep! For man! Huah! For the Imperium! Huah! For the emperor! The first wave force landed on the edge of the orks Warcamp and a bloody battle ensued. Hand to hand combat broke out across the line. Marines were using their empty bolters as hammers for there was no time to reload. The battle went on for 3 days until the Orks retreated into the interior of the planets massive natural cave systems. After weeks of rooting out the orks they were obliterated. Leo himself struck down kunta kunta raising his decapitated head infront of his victorious legion. The prides second greatest comrade is Brother Captain Chrono who’s valiance is the stuff of legends amongst the chapter. He was on the first the first wave into Crysto. His drop ship took heavy AA fire which then caused it to veer off course. Then forcing it to land directly in the middle of an Ork warband. His squad fought hard but they were cut off and soon only Chrono stood, fighting off the Orks with unmatched ferocity until reinforcements came. When they found him he was nearly dead and unable to move or speak. There were hundreds of dead Orks around his body, bullet holes riddled his armor, but he survived. Chrono now resides in one of the chapters most sacred relics The dreadnought and continues to bring death and destruction to his foe’s. For now the Pride resides in the depths of space waiting to be unleashed onto any unlucky foe once more. War Cry Walk with death Kill with fury Know No fear Be not weary For the emperor Never look back Only forward To the black Now we march for Imperiums era We the Valiant Pride of Terra Pride Of Terra color scheme http://i386.photobucket.com/albums/oo305/willzxy676/spacemarine.jpg Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demus Ragnok Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I don't think any of the loyalist legions would have many "prospects" to donate to this project during the heresy, given the massacre at Istvann 5 and all. And you make referance to the black legion. I dont know if you mean the Black Legion or if you just used that as a description. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2924871 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LORDSL Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 prospect meaning neophyte. Same basic meaning. Now if the imperial fists ultras blood angels and white scars could donate a sum of their neophytes to battle to defend the palace i believe its quite possibly, judging by the fact of how vast those chapters were before the codex. and i meant the black legion as a whole...the space marines of chaos not THE Black Legion itself Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2924889 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demus Ragnok Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Horus did a pretty good job of keeping all of the loyalists occupied leading up to the battle of Terra. Sanguinas was nearly killed fighting a daemon horde. The Ultras were tied up with the Word Bearers. The White Scars I can't remember what they were up to. The Fists had already been called to Terra to bolster the defenses when Horus made his first move at Istvann 3. I mean if I were the primarch of a legion and I new that half of my brother legions had turned traitor, and every one of my men would be called upon to lay down their lives to defend Holy Terra if need be. I'm not sure I could just throw away my legion's future by giving my prospects to a suicide legion. I mean maybe, but if I were a primarch I wouldn't want an entire legion of noobs as the last best hope to defend the palace. I would rather the E let me, my peronal body gaurds and 300 of my finest astates stand in the gate and kill ever dirty rotten stinkin' daemon possessed traitor that came within reach. But thats just me. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2924903 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LORDSL Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 I understand... Your point of view is undoubtably more realistic but understand this is just fiction a "cool" backstory i made up to make my chapter more interesting. Just look at it as that. Thank you for your responses. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2924913 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 I understand... Your point of view is undoubtably more realistic but understand this is just fiction a "cool" backstory i made up to make my chapter more interesting. Just look at it as that. Thank you for your responses. Disclaimer: Been here, seen this argument 100times before, killed it with FIRE. Bear in mind that perception of the concept *cool* and *interesting* is entirely subjective. What makes things *cool* in your view, doesn't make it automaticaly *cool* in the view of other people. In other words, any creation is subject of biased judgement, determined by the personal tastes, preferences and knowledge. The opinions and feedback you will be given, is all product of this reasoning and you should be prepared for circumstances, where your *cool* could and will be labeled as *uncool* in the eyes and mind of beholder. In such case, you have two options available to you. First one is ignore the opinion. This is advised in the case of different tastes and/or preferences. The reason for such choice is quite obvious and will spare both sides of pointless argument over something, which cannot be concluded. The second option is listen to the opinion, understand and re-evaluate what makes your *cool* incorrect or uncool in views of your readers and take a suitable measures to prevent any future disruptions. This approach is advised in situations, where you want to harmonize your *cool* with the *cool* of community in order to enrich the experience of both parties involved. The choice is yours. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2925104 Share on other sites More sharing options...
LORDSL Posted November 16, 2011 Author Share Posted November 16, 2011 Great point. I am totally nieve with this game, but i have been researching. Ill change a few things around to make the story more plausable. Thank you Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2925186 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted November 16, 2011 Share Posted November 16, 2011 Great point. I am totally nieve with this game, but i have been researching. Ill change a few things around to make the story more plausable. Thank you My first bit of advice is to have a read of the DIY guide stickied atop the forum. And of course, if there's anything you're not sure about, don't be afraid to ask questions. We veteran Liberites can seldom resist an opportunity to show off how much we know about 40k! :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2925269 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Demus Ragnok Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 Great point. I am totally nieve with this game, but i have been researching. Ill change a few things around to make the story more plausable. Thank you I myself only came to know of 40K recently. And I don't mean to come off as trashing other peoples ideas. However, I have been a regular reader of this forum for a few months and I have learned one thing. The coolest cool is cool that could actually happen ( within the confines of the fiction). That was the point that I failed to convey earlier. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2925505 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Shinzaren Posted November 17, 2011 Share Posted November 17, 2011 The Pride Of Terra or Mostly know as the Pride a chapter shrouded in legend. The pride was founded in a time of desperation and fear, during the first days of the Horus Heresy. The first days of the Heresy would be a terrible time for a founding, as the loyalist Legions were reeling from Horus's initial onslaught. Being pushed back and on the defensive, they could barely handle the battle on their own, much less founding new chapters. Unless this is more symbolic than actual fact. They were a legion of Neophytes, formed from other chapters Neophytes to be used as a sort of shield during the Battle of Terra. See above, the Legions didn't have Neophytes to spare, except perhaps the Ultramarines, who were occupied far from Terra for nearly the entire Heresy. They were totally expendable in order to by time for the Emperor and his Imperial fists to strengthen their defenses. Their unquestionable loyalty to the Emperor rivaled that of any chapter. You mention above that they were founded in the first days of the Heresy, then make note now about being formed to defend the Palace. The Siege of the Palace was the last major event of the Heresy, following years of warfare across the galaxy. They were brave and showed no fear of death, a fate that all would soon face. "And they shall know no fear..." As Space Marines everywhere. And so they met their enemy's of the black legion on the outskirts of the palace. The Black Legion was formed after the events of the Heresy, when Abaddon renamed the Sons of Horus. At the time of the Siege of Terra they were still known as the Sons of Horus. Their ranks were fitted with 600 marines 6 companys to fight and die for the Emperor. 600 Neophyte Assault Marines wouldn't even slow the Legions down. They would be mowed down by Titans and Greater Demons, and lacking the heavy firepower of Devastators or Primarchs, would be powerless to stop these enemies. Secondly, when the Legions were in such dire straights, the idea of sending raw recruits out to die to buy time is incredibly silly. Those recruits are the future of the chapter and the only hope of the Space Marine legions carrying on if they managed to survive the Siege. Each one is a precious resource at this point. They fought to the last man, but they did their job. Buying the Emperors forces valuable time to prepare for the oncoming assault. However many years after the stand of The Pride. The Highlords odered the construction of a chapter in their name to honor the fallen. Their gene seed was derived from the glorious imperial fists chapter. How many years later? It needs to be after the second founding, as the Imperial Fists successors formed during this event are all named: Imperial Fists, Black Templars, Crimson Fists. If you believe the Black Library, then the Soul Drinkers are also formed here, though I myself choose to ignore this. To even be considered into The Pride the Neophyte has to have some Terrian blood, or his family must have historical ties back to the old earth. Imperial Fists are the only chapter to recruit from Terra, a hard won privilege they earned due to their standing as the "Emperor's Praetorians." Now they lay dormant in their ships on the outskirts of the terrian solar system. Why are they dormant? Lead by fleet master Leo a battle hardened marine who proved himself against the Ork Menace on the planet of Crysto. A harvest world of the imperium ravanged by the ork horde of Brakka and lead by the horrific warboss Kunta Kon for its bountiful supply of fuel and resources. Guarded by a large garrison of imperial soldiers that had all but been wiped out. The Imperium called amongst one of its deadliest chapters the Pride of Terra. With hearts of lions and ferocity to match they embarked to Crysto. The first wave fell to the planet in drop pods, a surprise assault lead by Leo himself. He dropped in with his first company terminators, and his own personal guard the Sword Keepers of Sierra. All Space Marines are exceptionally deadly. Why are is the Pride listed as being amongst the deadliest? What distinguishes them from the other 999 Space Marine chapters in this regard? Leos speech: Brothers prepare for combat for you will see it, Prepare for death for you will bring it, Prepare for glory for you have it or fall trying. Kill without remorse and have no mercy. We march to this planet in the name of the emperor for the good of man and the imperium. We march for Terra. You are my pride and I shall lead you till death! Brothers What is your life? My honour is my life. What is your fate? My duty is my fate. What is your fear? My fear is to fail. What is your reward? My salvation is my reward. What is your craft? My craft is death. What is your pledge? My pledge is eternal service What is your Duty? To serve Emperor's Will. What is Emperor's Will? That we fight and die. What is Death? It is our duty. Do not fall do not retreat only in death may you sleep! For man! Huah! For the Imperium! Huah! For the emperor! Some of this is a direct pull from Codex: Black Templars. Why did Leo copy their creed word for word as his last address? The first wave force landed on the edge of the orks Warcamp and a bloody battle ensued. Hand to hand combat broke out across the line. Marines were using their empty bolters as hammers for there was no time to reload. The battle went on for 3 days until the Orks retreated into the interior of the planets massive natural cave systems. After weeks of rooting out the orks they were obliterated. Leo himself struck down kunta kunta raising his decapitated head infront of his victorious legion. The prides second greatest comrade is Brother Captain Chrono who’s valiance is the stuff of legends amongst the chapter. He was on the first the first wave into Crysto. His drop ship took heavy AA fire which then caused it to veer off course. Then forcing it to land directly in the middle of an Ork warband. His squad fought hard but they were cut off and soon only Chrono stood, fighting off the Orks with unmatched ferocity until reinforcements came. When they found him he was nearly dead and unable to move or speak. There were hundreds of dead Orks around his body, bullet holes riddled his armor, but he survived. Chrono now resides in one of the chapters most sacred relics The dreadnought and continues to bring death and destruction to his foe’s. For now the Pride resides in the depths of space waiting to be unleashed onto any unlucky foe once more. Is this post concerning the background of the chapter? Is it a story about the chapter? It is undefined and unclear at this point. If it is background on the chapter as a whole, than this whole paragraph is extraneous information. If it is a story about the chapter, then it is just fine. War Cry Walk with death Kill with fury Know No fear Be not weary For the emperor Never look back Only forward To the black Now we march for Imperiums era We the Valiant Pride of Terra This is actually pretty cool. I like this. So, this was a blow-by-blow accounting of some of the issues that your post will run into as far as the shared universe goes. I tried to highlight areas where you are in conflict with known and established fluff, which will hopefully help you. I recommend the DiY Guide that is stickied at the top of this forum, and the Octaguide, which I will try and dig up a link for at some point. It is important for you decide what you want out of this post. Do you want thoughts on your ideas for the chapter? The story? Its conformity to known fluff? Is it an IA? (Index Astartes) article? Will it have a different and unique format? Are trying to develop a chapter and want feedback? Or are you set in stone with these ideas and just wanted to share? Tell us what you are looking for and we can be much more helpful :) Otherwise, welcome to the Liber and I hope you have a fun and profitable stay. Goodluck! P.S. Sorry if it came off as a bit harsh, I don't really know how to get my points across any other way ^_^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/242022-the-pride-of-terra-chapter/#findComment-2925614 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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