Wraiths of Darkness

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Ace's comments have also been acted on, do you guys think it's finished?

 

 

 

It was in 123.M33 that the Imperials first acknowledged the existence of the Wraiths of Darkness. On a raid of a minor Forge World, the defenders used some unique archeotech to tap into the renegade's com-network. Several conversations between what seemed to be two different warbands were recorded, and one was not recognised on any files owned by the forge. The unkown warband refered to themselves as the Wraiths of Darkness, and the Mechanicus entered them into Imperial records, bearing the symbol of the jagged, black blade.

 

From there on, the Wraiths were slowly fought and recognized by the Imperium as a whole. The strangeness of this was the fact that there seemed to be no fixed area where they were located and they were found across the breadth of the galaxy. They all undoubtably belonged to the same warband, however, and so information of the Wraiths began to grow daily.

 

To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium suspected. The Wraiths are known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere, having fought in many wars over the millenia to earn their reputation. Their outposts can be found in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity. If a leader has the resources, they can buy any number of astartes to do any job. Though the Wraiths of Darkness have many enemies who would destroy them, they simply cannot be found by any other means than their Masks, their representatives placed in the greatest of renegade trade worlds.

 

The only thing known about the whereabouts of the Wraiths's base of operations is that it is a fleet, surmised to be in the Eye of Terror. Where in the Eye is unknown, but the most frequent and largest sightings of the Wraiths have always appeared there.

 

To the Wraiths themselves, their history is not so simple.

 

History

The warband has records of the Emperor's Wraiths aboard the Silent Truth, their oldest battle-barge, because it is the chapter that the Wraiths of Darkness originally rebelled from. Their geneseed is now as varied as the recruits they take and the missions they are hired for, and as time has taken its effects on the Wraith's of Darkness the Silent Truth has become one of the few relics left from the chapter. The Emperor's Wraiths history is not considered the warband's, but the knowledge is still kept, so that the Phantom Lords, the highest commanders of the Wraiths, know the mistakes of the past and do not repeat them. To them, the Wraith's of Darkness's history began when they fled to the Eye of Terror after a betrayal from a once close ally, and made their home amongst the other warbands. They started building their reputation when they assassinated the leader of a large warband, followed by prompt payment from the man who became his successor. The tale travelled quickly, as part of the employer's payment, and quickly gained them another commission. So began their long and 'successful' history.

 

The Wraiths used the resources that they were paid to build up their forces. Smaller warbands were absorbed, other mercenaries were killed, and outposts were set up. Over time the original chapter's geneseed was no longer dominant. Their fame and power grew, until the Black Legion took notice and offered them a chance to join the Black Legion. The Wraiths refused. As a result, they were attacked and were nearly destroyed before they escaped into the Shroud Stars. From there they dissapeared, and were not truly seen again for five centuries.

 

The Silent Truth and four strike cruisers appeared in the Eye of Terror, and vanished again, something the Black Legion could not claim credit for. It soon became apparent the Wraiths were still unbroken, and returned to their previous position of mercenaries, where their representitives could be found by aspiring warbands all over the galaxy. However, they still hid from the eyes of the Black Legion and other major forces, achieving this - along with their image of extreme power - by spreading themselves very thinly. The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed these 'Summonings', these groups of Wraiths scattered across the galaxy, as war and image have demanded, always exuding the impression of omnipotence even while the Wraith's have suffered terrible losses.

 

They were nearly destroyed several times when the Wraiths overextended their forces and their leader was killed, and so it was not long before the warband developed a system of two leaders. One would watch and control the flow of Wraiths as well as take care of the other administrative duties, while the other would be the personal representative and enforcer of the other leader's will, chosen from the greatest warriors the warband had availible. This was the beginning of the Wraith's of Darkness being found throughout the galaxy and outside of the Eye of Terror. They managed to escape the Eye by creating the Summonings, breaking down the fleet to slip through Imperial defences.

 

The Wraiths knew to differentiate between the two leaders, and so named the messenger and enforcer the Spectre of Death, while the true master was titled the Phantom Lord. This is known only to the Wraiths themselves, as other warbands could not attempt to enlist spies amongst the warband, due to their intense and tortuous recruitment method that ensured that the astarte would only ever put his loyalty with the Wraiths. Thus, the weaknesses of the warband and its low numbers were never known to those outside of the Wraiths of Darkness.

 

The Organization of the Summonings in 49.M33, the Purging of the Deserters in 756.M38, and all the other great events are held only in the records of the Wraiths, kept a secret to all others. The warband must keep their reputation simple but powerful - that of mercenaries and assassins who always get the job done. Billions of humans and thousands of astartes - loyalist, renegade and Wraith alike - have died to protect and project that image of potentcy.

 

Because of such attention that they have built, the warband is often requested on the battlefield, thus it requires more astartes. The Phantom Lords have all spent vast resources into generating new astartes and acclimatizing the absorbed warbands into the mindset of the Wraiths of Darkness. Many attempts to 'reset' absorbed warbands have failed horribly, leaving automatons or berzerkers. Other Phantom Lords have tried to somehow make the geneseed reproduce faster, and degenerated some of it horribly. However, the Wraiths have slowly learned from their mistakes and have begun to grow their numbers to larger than most chapters, each Summoning building up more Wraiths as time passes.

 

The Haemon Heresy

Around 635.M36, the seed of Chaos infested the ranks of the Wraiths. In the Fifth Summoning, the Librarian was killed on the field, and he had failed to train his successor. The Phantom Lord sent a small force of Wraiths, led by the Librarian Haemon, to rejoin the Summoning to the rest of the Wraiths. A recently formed squad of the Fifth agreed to secretly worship Chaos, and so was blessed by the Dark Gods's patronage.

 

The taint slowly spread to the rest of the Summoning, given time to grow and claim the marines by the long distances seperating the forces of the Wraiths. Eventually, the war-leader of the the Fifth was converted, and shortly aftwerwards Haemon and his force arrived.

 

Haemon saw the power of those who worshipped Chaos, and at first responded to alert the Phantom Lord. The Librarian and his marines were overwhelmed insantly, however, as the Chaos marines would be destroyed by the Wraiths of Darkness if they found out, and so desperately attacked and captured their former brothers. Chained in the same rooms the Fifth Summoning's Librarian had once kept those who needed to escape from Chaos's influence, Haemon was tortured and eventually broken. He, too, turned to Chaos, but to free himself from the degenerates who mocked him. Offering the souls of those who had taken him, the Librarian broke out of his shackles and proceeded to slaughter his jailers. The remains of the Fifth soon knelt before him, once they realized what he had done.

 

The new sorceror knew he faced death if the other Wraiths discovered his pacts, and decided to spare the corrupted, for now. He began to plot a course for the nearest Black Legion base when he was struck by a vision of himself as the Phantom Lord of the Wraiths of Darkness. It was the will of the gods, and he began contacting the most susceptible Librarians to join his cause.

 

He managed to turn almost two thirds of the Wraiths before the Phantom Lord was even aware of the corruption, but once he was, he acted immediately. He ordered the untainted Summonings, all staunch supporters of their master with centuries of experience, to find and destroy these turncoats. The Phantom Lord and the entirety of the forces present on the Silent Truth began to hunt as well, an almost unheard of action. It was considered necessary, however, as the traitors would destroy them if they did nothing.

 

Unseen war ensued. Wraiths ambushed Wraiths, Summonings conjoined and the two forces eventually fought to a stalemate, the power of Chaos and superiour numbers matching the elites of the loyalist's tactical skill and personal prowess. Haemon was now called the Heretic Lord by the loyal Wraiths, his power growing with every one of his former brothers that he killed. He had no match, and even cut down the Spectre of Death in personal combat. The favour of the Dark Gods was clear to every Wraith who was fortunate - or unfortunate - enough to see him.

 

The loyalist Wraiths grew desperate then, and forced the traitors into one confrontation. It was there that the traitors brought their entire fleet, and battle was completely joined by both forces. Eventually, the Phantom Lord's forces earned a pyrhic victory with complete destruction of the enemy, at the loss of almost the entirety of the loyalists themselves.

 

Haemon alone survived, and teleported himself to the bridge of the Silent Truth. "You fools", he spat, and dissapeared before the bolters aimed at him could fire. To this day, the Heretic Lord has not been seen by the Wraiths.

 

 

Organization

 

The Wraiths of Darkness currently have 11 Summonings, but this fluctuates as time passes - at one point the Wraiths had barely half a Summoning, and at another the Wraiths had as much as 15. The strength of a Summoning is around 110 Wraiths, but this too varies to the taste of the ruling Summoner. Many have prefered to have themselves, they're chosen bodyguard, and a few squads with a secondary command as the entirety of their Summoning, while other Summonings have grown to almost two hundred marines.

 

Regardless of what the individual Summoners choose for their Summoning's size, every third recruit is organised into a seperate squad. When a full squad is formed, it is sent to the Silent Truth - the personal battle barge of the Phantom Lord and his Summoning - to be trained and used to set up new Summonings. The only exception to this is extremely understrength Summonings, and in such cases the role is often reversed - the Phantom Lord will send as many squads as he feels is necessary to ensure the Summoning survives.

 

Unlike most other warbands, the Wraiths select those worthy of command, and have them lead the Summonings, while executing those who kill for their position. This ensures that the Wraiths do not become disorganized and ineffeceint, and are instead well organized and extremely potent. It also prevents Chaos from infecting the command chain, for the first steps on the road to Chaos often come from a desire for power.

 

The Wraiths have a simple colour scheme, of muted grey. The only feature that changes is the colour of the shoulderpad, and the symbol on it. The only unifying symbol of the Wraiths of Darkness is a jagged, black blade. One of the few rites that all Summonings take part in is before the battle, the Sumoning's jagged blade symbol will be outlined with a thin white line, and when the dead have been gathered the survivors paint the border black again, and the slain have their borders painted red. The rest of the armor is repaired and reused, but the shoulderpad is kept with the body as it is jettisoned into the emptiness of space.

 

A deviant scheme employed by Comniar's Fifth Summoning -

http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/sm.php?b62c=@hwi0e_h3TN3.iakk7@@@@___.@.__i6cADi6cAD@@@_@@@@___i6aAh_i6aAh@_@@@@@____.h48B0@@_@@@__@____hHjTJ.&

 

 

Beliefs

 

The Wraiths of Darkness believe in the Chaos Gods, and they believe the Emperor is a name for a technology that creates the Astrominicon. It is the only thing that makes sense, seeing how hypocritical and lying the Imperium is. However, the Wraiths do not worship the Chaos Gods, seeing the fate of those who have turned to Chaos. This rule has been broken once, and nearly forced the Wraiths to destruction.

 

Thus, the Wraiths have raised a corps of elite Librarians who monitor the Summoning they are attached to, replacing a standard Chaplain. Each of these individuals is tasked with seeking out an apprentice, so that when they fall, their pupil may replace them. Linking with the rest of the warband quickly is only availible psychically, and disconnection is considered death among the Wraiths. Thus the Librarians are chosen only when the rest of the corp, and the Phantom Lord, have given their leave to accept him into the brotherhood.

 

The Wraiths do believe in earning their place with whatever talents and skills one has. All men are born equal, to them, it is their choices that determines whether they should be recruited or shot. Chaos is seen as an easy method to victory, and so its servants are all treated as pathetic, without exception.

 

This may prove to be their undoing, as without support from the Chaos Gods the Wraiths have much less in the means of pursuing their own wars, and breaking free of their eternal cycle of losing men to a task and being rewarded with more supplies. It is the fate they have chosen, however, and the Wraiths of Darkness are proud of it.

 

Motivation

 

There was one rare occasion where a Wraith of Darkness was captured by the Unforgiven, who had mistaken his Summoning for a gathering of Fallen. When it was realized that the captured marine was not a Fallen, they interrogated him and eventually discovered that although he did not serve the Emperor, he also did not worship Chaos. The Interrogator-Chaplain immediately prompted him to explain what he fought for, if not the Emperor or for the false promises of Chaos. The recorded response was thus:

 

"We fight because one day, we will have earned our place in the galaxy as something more. Something that is feared and revered, something that is held as above that which others cannot acheive. To be those who can walk among the beasts of Chaos and not be attacked, to be those who would make even the Imperium pause before making war. To be unhounded by the alien, the mutant, the heretic, because we earned it, and they cannot even raise a weapon against us."

 

He was then immediately executed for heresy. It eventually led to the rebelling of the Deathwing veteran Nerik, who had deemed the cause worthy and joined the Wraiths of Darkness.

 

Recruitment

 

The most common method of recuitment for the Wraiths is for the senior members of the Summonings to stop on each populated world they pass briefly, stopping only to take the few worthy in a matter of hours, en route towards whatever target they have been hired to remove. This ensures a fairly steady stream of recruits with minimal loss of resources and time.

 

The Wraiths are also willing to accept any who have not served the Dark Gods. They rarely accept non-astartes, however. Men can be broken and corrupted much easier than marines, evidenced enough by the uncountable traitor guardsmen who have contracted them. Even in the Eye, the number of normal humans far outweighs the former angels of death, and often the Wraiths are hired by the mortals to remove a harassing astarte warband.

 

Combat Doctrine

Unusually, the Wraiths of Darkness still adhere to the Codex, due to it's flexibility. Like the chapters themselves, each of the Summonings take many different interpretations of it, so that each develop their own signature tactics. However, most focus on keeping as many of their brothers alive as possible, or acheiving an objective as quickly as possible.

 

The Wraiths of Darkness also completely refuse the usage of daemonic beings or daemonic war machines. The Librarians allow themselves to use raw Chaotic power, but do not make pacts with the beings in the Warp to gain more. Such is the path to the destruction of the Wraiths, and thus the Librarians that moniter the Summonings are monitered themselves. With the Haemon Heresy, it is also typical of the Summonings to bear a second disciplinary leader, but this is not decreed by the Phantom Lord and thus not all Summonings practice it.

 

Because the Wraiths of Darkness use a variety of geneseed, the different Summonings often have different specialties at various theatres of war. Each Summoning has it's own general combat preferences, although typically they retain enough variety in their composition to handle any obstacle. As an example, the Red Blade summoning prefers to rely heavily on fast-attack tactics using bikes and the prized land speeders, but are versatile enough to engage in other tactics should the need arise. This versatility is further enhanced by the various specialists within the Summoning.

 

The Wraiths of Darkness are very rarely, if ever, commissioned for a full-scale campaign, simply because every Mask knows that one can easily consume an entire company of astartes. The Wraiths do not have that kind of material to give for any price, and so almost any time the request is made it is flatly refused. However, a Mask will typically offer the services of the Summoning for a number of battles, usually no more than three per contract. These battles are often also chosen by the Summoner himself, as Wraiths either scout the planet over which their services will be used or the more veteran astartes find their own methods of gaining information from their newest targets. The Summoner will then carefully consider which battles to join, not only based on how many Wraiths are likely to be lost but how likely their customer will appreciate the support. So it is that the Wraiths of Darkness are often credited with turning the tide of war, simply because they only attack when it will make the most difference for their employer.

Edited July 1, 2012 by Dark Apostle Thirst

[Hrvat]

Well that was interesting to read. Since this is under reconstruction as you say I have just a pointer.

 

He was then immediately executed for heresy. It eventually led to the rebelling of the veteran Nerik, however, who was present during the interrogation. He joined the Wraiths of Darkness, and eventually became the 2nd Summoner, heir to the

 

I am aware of 3 interogations in the background and as far as I can remember veterans weren't present at these things. It was Interogator Chaplain + members of the Inner Circle that conducted it. To have a veteran witness it is unknown though I guess it should not be impossible.

 

 

Cheers

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Well that was interesting to read. Since this is under reconstruction as you say I have just a pointer.

 

He was then immediately executed for heresy. It eventually led to the rebelling of the veteran Nerik, however, who was present during the interrogation. He joined the Wraiths of Darkness, and eventually became the 2nd Summoner, heir to the

 

I am aware of 3 interogations in the background and as far as I can remember veterans weren't present at these things. It was Interogator Chaplain + members of the Inner Circle that conducted it. To have a veteran witness it is unknown though I guess it should not be impossible.

 

 

Cheers

My bad, don't know DA lore well enough. I thought veterans were part of the Inner Circle, and so used it as a shorter way of typing member of the inner circle. Is there another name for the Inner Circle marines?

[Cpt_Reaper]

I have a feeling my not-so-well-written story on these guys might be a lot more not-so-well-written after this. Oh well. I wish you luck with the Wraiths.

[Hrvat]

My bad, don't know DA lore well enough. I thought veterans were part of the Inner Circle, and so used it as a shorter way of typing member of the inner circle. Is there another name for the Inner Circle marines?

 

The inducted veterans are part of the Deathwing and sprinkled throught the Chapter with their brothers in arms not knowing they are Deathwing. The Inner Circle is made out of the Supreme Grand Master (Chapter Master of the Dark Angels), Grand Masters (Chapter Masters of tohe Unforgiven and other High Ranking officers from throughout the Unforgiven), Interogator Chaplains(not all Chaplains are interogator ones), Librarians and Master of the Forge.

 

Circles within circles making people dizzy since M31 :(

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

I have a feeling my not-so-well-written story on these guys might be a lot more not-so-well-written after this. Oh well. I wish you luck with the Wraiths.

 

Don't worry, they aren't changing radicly. A lot of it will just be writing it better (I've been facepalming on the confusion of past/present tense particularily) and adding stuff :P

 

My bad, don't know DA lore well enough. I thought veterans were part of the Inner Circle, and so used it as a shorter way of typing member of the inner circle. Is there another name for the Inner Circle marines?

 

The inducted veterans are part of the Deathwing and sprinkled throught the Chapter with their brothers in arms not knowing they are Deathwing. The Inner Circle is made out of the Supreme Grand Master (Chapter Master of the Dark Angels), Grand Masters (Chapter Masters of the Unforgiven and other High Ranking officers from throughout the Unforgiven), Interogator Chaplains(not all Chaplains are interogator ones), Librarians and Master of the Forge.

 

Circles within circles making people dizzy since M31 :jaw:

Sooooo... I can say a member of the Deathwing? Deathwinger? Deathwingee? He's not going to be a Librarian - they already have their special role in the Wraiths of Darkness - and I don't want to be too high up in the command chain before he goes and joins the Wraiths. So, a Deathwing terminator. I can do that ;)

[Hrvat]

How about an Apothecary? I guess they could be around during the interogation to make sure the interogee(sp?) stays alive as long as possible. Also Apothecaries can be and are members of the Deathwing and/or Inner Circle.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

How about an Apothecary? I guess they could be around during the interogation to make sure the interogee(sp?) stays alive as long as possible. Also Apothecaries can be and are members of the Deathwing and/or Inner Circle.

Hmmm, I like that. Give me a bit of time to develop that character in my head, but that's a good suggestion for just making him more interesting :)

 

I think Combat Doctrine and the Haemon Heresy are the only things that need to be fixed at this point, so feedback is very welcome B)

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Reconstruction done B)

[Talthus]

This is really cool. Not too much constructive criticism, but it reminds me of what GW was trying to go for when they created the most recent Codex: CSM. Without the Chaos of course. It intrigues me though, how do they stave off corruption while making their berth within the roiling tides of raw Chaos?

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

This is really cool. Not too much constructive criticism, but it reminds me of what GW was trying to go for when they created the most recent Codex: CSM. Without the Chaos of course. It intrigues me though, how do they stave off corruption while making their berth within the roiling tides of raw Chaos?

Gellar fields :huh:

 

Thanks, BTW :) No, typically the only forces of the Wraiths in the Eye and the Maelstrom are those who are there to fulfil a contract and the representative who waits on a Chaos trade world for customers. The rest are like the True Wraith - somewhere in the void of space, close enough to a Warp rift to jump around when they need to, but a good distance away from Chotic and Imperial forces.

 

I'll put that in... Combat Doctrine?... possibly History... like thus -

 

Since the Wraith's first appeared in the Eye of Terror, they have practiced keeping distance between them and the corrupting influences of Chaos. The former Chapter Master came upon a simple solution. There were numerous Warp Rifts that opened to the dead void, with no planets or any kind of objects for thousands of light years. It was in the largest of these locations the Wraiths of Darkness came to make their home. When the Summonings were formed, each found similar locations, ready to strike, while remaining away from where anyone would geuss. The Summonings rarely spend time simply lurking, however, as they are almost constantly raiding both Imperial and Chaos worlds for supplies, when not deployed for their latest contracts.

[Hrvat]

Now that I have re-read everything I feel somewhat useless. All your ideas are sound and I have no objections with them. The thing that bugs me a bit is the stlye of writing. I don't think I can put my finger on it but it seemed to me that it is to factual with sentences standing apart from one another rather than flowing one into another. I hope I make sense ;)

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

That's all good, I can fix that but the first draft... well... the draft I just fixed was way too informal. I'll go over it again, and fix what I can, if there any parts that jump out at you after I'm done with that feel free to point them out, would be a major help :)

 

EDIT: DONE

Edited December 30, 2011 by Dark Apostle Thirst

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Ludovic, if you're reading this, I know I should probably be writing for the fluff challenge on New Badab, but at the moment I have writer's block and I'm just copying what I wrote on a looong plane ride... :huh:

 

Combat Doctrine add on, also in main draft -

 

The Wraiths of Darkness are very rarely, if ever, commissioned for a campaign, simply because every Mask* knows that one can easily consume an entire company of astartes. The Wraiths do not have that kind of material to give for any price, and so almost any time the request is made it is flatly refused. However, a Mask will typically offer the services of the Summoning for a number of battles, usually no more than three per contract. These battles are often also chosen by the Summoner himself, as Wraiths either scout the planet over which their services will be used or the more veteran astartes find their own methods of gaining information from their newest targets. The Summoner will then carefully consider which battles to join, not only based on how many Wraiths are likely to be lost but how likely their customer will appreciate the support. So it is that the Wraiths of Darkness are often credited with turning the tide of war, simply because they only attack when it will make the most difference for their employer.

 

*Mask will be written about later, but they're basicly the face of the Wraiths, the guys who stand around on Chaos trade worlds all day long and then travel back to their Summoning to give them their latest contracts.

[Hrvat]

I quoted the whole thing for the ease of showing what I am saying. Parts that look odd to me or I think are missing will be in red.

 

Adding new stuff, Combat Doctrine got the first add-on :D

 

 

It was in 123.M33 that (the?) Imperials first acknowledged the existence of the Wraiths of Darkness. On a raid of a minor Forge World, the defenders used some lost archeotech to tap into the renegade's com-network. Several conversations between what seemed to be two different warbands were recorded, and one was not recognised on any files owned by the forge. The other warband refered to them(selves?)as the Wraiths of Darkness, and the Mechanicus identified(if there is no foreknowledege about something it can't be identified) and entered them into Imperial records, bearing the symbol of the jagged, black blade.

 

From there on, the Wraiths slowly became more seen(I would suggest "were gradualy encountered more often") and recognized by the Imperium as a whole. The strangeness of this was the fact that there seemed to be no fixed area where they were located and they were found across the breadth of the galaxy. They all undoubtably belonged to the same warband, however, and so information of the Wraiths began to grow(how about "grew") daily.

 

To the forces of Chaos they had existed (for) much longer, and were much more powerful.(odd second part of the sentance) The Wraiths had fought in many wars and had been hired for millennia to earn their reputation, and have now become known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere. They have outposts in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity. If a leader has the resources, they can buy any number of astartes to do any job. The Wraiths have not made themselves open to attack, however - they simply cannot be found except by their representitives in the major trade worlds of Chaos society.(I understand what you are trying to say but sounds clumsy to me. What would you think of this statement "In order to ensure their safety from retaliation the Wraiths keep their whereabouts secret and the only way to reach them is through special operatives seeded upon the major trade worlds of Chaos society.")

 

The only thing known about the whereabouts of the Wraiths's base of operations is that it is a fleet, surmised to be in the Eye of Terror. Where in the Eye is unknown, but the most frequent and largest sightings of the Wraiths have always appeared there.

 

To the Wraiths themselves, their history is not so simple.

 

History

The warband has records of the Emperor's Wraiths aboard the True Wraith their oldest battle-barge, because it is the chapter that the Wraiths of Darkness originally rebelled from. Their geneseed is now as varied as the recruits they take and the missions they are hired for,(maybe full stop here?) as time has taken its effects on the Wraith's of Darkness, and(unecesary) the True Wraith is one of the few relics left from the chapter. The Emperor's Wraiths history is not considered the warband's, but the knowledge is still kept, so that the Phantom Lords(it is usually in writen materials that when you are introducing a name/title of something you also provide an explanation so that an uninitiated reader may known what/who that may be) know the mistakes of the past and do not repeat them. To them, the Wraith's of Darkness's history began when they fled to the Eye of Terror after a betrayal from a once close ally, and made their home amongst the other warbands. They started building their reputation when they assassinated the leader of a large warband, followed by prompt payment from the man who became his successor. The tale travelled quickly, as part of the employer's payment, and quickly gained them another commission. So began their long and 'successful' history.

 

The Wraiths used the resources that they were paid to build up their forces. Smaller warbands were absorbed.(considering the next sentance these two could be merged to provide better flow rather than causing a block with a full stop) Other mercenaries were killed, and outposts were set up. Over time the original chapter's geneseed was no longer dominant. Their fame and power grew, until the Black Legion took notice and offered them a chance to join the Black Legion. The Wraiths refused and were attacked and(replacing one of the "and"-s with something else will make the text more 'refined', for a lack of a better word) were nearly destroyed before they escaped into the Shroud Stars. From there they dissapeared,(and missing :P ) were not truly seen again for five centuries.

 

Nine hundred Wraiths in a battle barge and four strike cruisers appeared in the Eye of Terror, and vanished again, something the Black Legion did not claim credit for.(I can't put my finger on what exactly but the sentance sounds strange to me, even redundant considering what you say next) It soon became apparent the Wraiths were still unbroken, and returned to their previous position of mercenaries, where their representitives could be found by aspiring warbands all over the galaxy. However, they still hid from the eyes of (the) Black Legion and other major forces, and achieved this - along with their image of extreme power - by spreading themselves very thinly, with a Summoning(the same comment as for the Phantom Lords above) attached to each of the major sectors. The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed the Summonings as war and image have demanded, always exuding the impression of omnipotence even while the Wraith's have suffered terrible losses.

 

They were nearly destroyed several times when the Wraiths overextended their forces and their leader was killed, and so it was not long before the warband developed a system of two leaders. One would watch and control the flow of Wraiths as well as take care of the other administrative duties, while the other would be the personal representative and enforcer of the other leader's will, chosen from the greatest warriors the warband had availible. This was the beginning of the Wraith's of Darkness being found throughout the galaxy and outside of the Eye of Terror. They managed to escape the Eye by creating the Summonings, breaking down the fleet to slip through Imperial defences.(on closer inspection I think this should be in organisation)

 

The Wraiths knew to differentiate between the two leaders, and so named the messenger and enforcer the Spectre of Death, while the true master was titled the Phantom Lord. This is known only to the Wraiths themselves, as other warbands could not attempt to enlist spys amongst the warband, due to their intense and tortuous recruitment method that ensured that the astarte would only ever put his loyalty with the Wraiths. Thus, the weaknesses of the warband and its low numbers were never known to those outside of the Wraiths of Darkness.

 

The Organization of the Summonings in 49.M33, the Purging of the Deserters in 756.M38, and all the other great events are held only in the records of the Wraiths, kept a secret to all others. The warband must keep their reputation simple but powerful - that of mercenaries and assassins who always get the job done. Billions of humans and thousands of astartes - loyalist, renegade and Wraith alike - have died to protect and project that image of potentcy.

 

Because of such attention that they have built, they are often requested on the battlefield, thus require(ing???) more astartes. The Phantom Lords have all spent vast resources into generating new astartes and acclimatizing the absorbed warbands into the mindset of the Wraiths of Darkness. Many attempts to 'reset' absorbed warbands have failed horribly, leaving automatons or berzerkers. Other Phantom Lords have tried to somehow make the geneseed reproduce faster, and degenerated some of it horribly. However, the Wraiths have slowly learned from their mistakes and have begun to grow their numbers to larger than most chapters, each Summoning building up more Wraiths as time passes.

 

These are just my personal opinions and I confess that my grasp of English language is limited by the fact of not being a native speaker and therefore not knowing all the fineses so I suggest a native speaker to go through these suggestions as well.

 

Thats for now, more will come later.

 

 

Cheers

Edited January 1, 2012 by Hrvat

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

'snip'

 

Much appreciated, thanks ;) Most of it was fixed, however, keeping the organisation of the Phantom Lords in History, as it's part of the history; it's a specific event as opposed to everything else, which happened gradually and can't be pinpointed down.

 

The only thing I'm not sure on is this, -

However, they still hid from the eyes of Black Legion and other major forces, and achieved this - along with their image of extreme power - by spreading themselves very thinly, with company sized forces attached to each of the major sectors. The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed these 'Summonings' as war and image have demanded

- does it make sense?

[Hrvat]

I don't have much time so I will just adress this.

 

However, they still hid from the eyes of the Black Legion and other major forces. Achieving this, along with their image of extreme power, by spreading themselves very thinly. with company sized forces attached to each of the major sectors.(I think that a company is a rather big formation as far as SM are concerned so I would just drop this green part of the sence and just leave a vague "thinly" leaving the number to the imagination of the reader) The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed these 'Summonings' as war and image have demanded

 

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

P.S. I will have more time tomorrow afternoon so you can expect the rest(or most) of the text analised.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

I don't have much time so I will just adress this.

 

However, they still hid from the eyes of the Black Legion and other major forces. Achieving this, along with their image of extreme power, by spreading themselves very thinly. with company sized forces attached to each of the major sectors.(I think that a company is a rather big formation as far as SM are concerned so I would just drop this green part of the sence and just leave a vague "thinly" leaving the number to the imagination of the reader) The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed these 'Summonings' as war and image have demanded

 

 

Cheers

 

 

 

 

P.S. I will have more time tomorrow afternoon so you can expect the rest(or most) of the text analised.

Blast it, I could've sworn I fixed the 'the' already :)

 

Thanks again, I'll fix it as you say ;)

 

 

EDIT: B)

However, they still hid from the eyes of the Black Legion and other major forces, achieving this - along with their image of extreme power - by spreading themselves very thinly. The Phantom Lords have since deployed and redeployed these 'Summonings', these groups of Wraiths scattered across the galaxy, as war and image have demanded, always exuding the impression of omnipotence even while the Wraith's have suffered terrible losses.

Edited January 3, 2012 by Dark Apostle Thirst

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Bump, in case anyone else has some CnC they are willing to give :)

[Ace Debonair]

Bump, in case anyone else has some CnC they are willing to give :D

 

I'll give this a look later; sadly I've got to go out about now. Blasted real life, taking away from my C&C time, mutter mutter grumble grumble...

[Ace Debonair]

Excuse the double post. Blame real life for interfering. ;)

 

Right then, let's get to it! ;)

 

 

It was in 123.M33 that the Imperials first acknowledged the existence of the Wraiths of Darkness. On a raid of a minor Forge World, the defenders used some lost archeotech to tap into the renegade's com-network. Several conversations between what seemed to be two different warbands were recorded, and one was not recognised on any files owned by the forge. The unkown warband refered to themselves as the Wraiths of Darkness, and the Mechanicus entered them into Imperial records, bearing the symbol of the jagged, black blade.

 

How lost can that archeotech be if it's on a forgeworld and being used by it's occupants?

 

To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium suspected. The Wraiths had fought in many wars and had been hired for millennia to earn their reputation, and have now become known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere. They have outposts in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity. If a leader has the resources, they can buy any number of astartes to do any job. Though the Wraiths of Darkness have many enemies who would destroy them, they simply cannot be found outside of their Masks, their representatives placed in the greatest of renegade trade worlds.

 

This seems awkwardly worded. I think it's the fact the word 'mercenary' comes in after 'had been hired for millenia', and there's something else I can't quite put my finger on.

 

How about:

 

"To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium even suspected. The Wraiths, long ago, established themselves as a mercenary faction, lending their skills in combat and assassination to any leader willing to pay the warband's price in resources. They have outposts in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity around the galaxy. Although the Wraiths have earned themselves many enemies over the millenia, their network of Masks - the name given to those who deal with the larger galaxy on the Wraith's behalf - are ever vigilant and seldom reveal the presence of themselves or the larger warband to hostile forces."

 

Or something more like that. That is, assuming I've not got the wrong idea about the Masks. :nuke:

 

 

The Wraiths knew to differentiate between the two leaders, and so named the messenger and enforcer the Spectre of Death, while the true master was titled the Phantom Lord. This is known only to the Wraiths themselves, as other warbands could not attempt to enlist spys amongst the warband, due to their intense and tortuous recruitment method that ensured that the astarte would only ever put his loyalty with the Wraiths. Thus, the weaknesses of the warband and its low numbers were never known to those outside of the Wraiths of Darkness.

 

Spies.

 

Picking at nits, I know, but that's what we're here for! :P

 

 

The Wraiths have a simple colour scheme, of muted grey. The only feature that changes is the colour of the shoulderpad, and the symbol on it. The only unifying symbol of the Wraiths of Darkness is a jagged, black knife. Even this varies, with the edge of the blade being the jaggedness of the device to it appearing that the blade itself is like a black lightning bolt. One of the few rites that all Summonings take part in is before the battle, the Sumoning's jagged blade symbol will be outlined with a thin white line, and when the dead have been gathered the survivors paint the border black again, and the slain have their borders painted red. The rest of the armor is repaired and reused, but the shoulderpad is kept with the body as it is jettisoned into the emptiness of space.

 

This sentence doesn't make sense- I think there's a few renegade words running amok in there!

 

 

 

The Wraiths of Darkness believe in the Chaos Gods, and they believe the Emperor is a name for a technology that creates the Astrominicon. It is the only thing that makes sense, seeing how hypocritical and lying the Imperium is. However, the Wraiths do not worship the Chaos Gods, seeing the fate of those who have turned to Chaos. This rule has been broken once, and nearly forced the Wraiths to destruction.

 

So... they don't think the Emperor really existed? :nuke:

 

That's a novel idea!

 

 

Thus, the Wraiths have raised a corps of elite Librarians who moniter the Summoning they are attached to, replacing a standard Chaplain. Each of these individuals is tasked with seeking out an apprentice, so that when they fall, their pupil may replace them. Linking with the rest of the warband quickly is only availible psychicly, and disconnection is considered death among the Wraiths. Thus the Librarians are chosen only when the rest of the corp, and the Phantom Lord, have given their leave to accept him into the brotherhood.

 

Monitor, and psychically.

 

I'm getting kind of a 'sith lord' vibe from those Librarians.

Only presumably the apprentices don't overthrow their masters when the opportunity arises. :huh:

 

 

The Wraiths of Darkness are very rarely, if ever, commissioned for a campaign, simply because every Mask knows that one can easily consume an entire company of astartes. The Wraiths do not have that kind of material to give for any price, and so almost any time the request is made it is flatly refused. However, a Mask will typically offer the services of the Summoning for a number of battles, usually no more than three per contract. These battles are often also chosen by the Summoner himself, as Wraiths either scout the planet over which their services will be used or the more veteran astartes find their own methods of gaining information from their newest targets. The Summoner will then carefully consider which battles to join, not only based on how many Wraiths are likely to be lost but how likely their customer will appreciate the support. So it is that the Wraiths of Darkness are often credited with turning the tide of war, simply because they only attack when it will make the most difference for their employer.

 

Might be worth amending that to 'full-scale Campaign', since as you mention the Wraiths are actually willing to commit their forces to multiple battles if required.

 

 

 

Seems pretty solid, all in all.

Good stuff!

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

The Wraiths of Darkness believe in the Chaos Gods, and they believe the Emperor is a name for a technology that creates the Astrominicon. It is the only thing that makes sense, seeing how hypocritical and lying the Imperium is. However, the Wraiths do not worship the Chaos Gods, seeing the fate of those who have turned to Chaos. This rule has been broken once, and nearly forced the Wraiths to destruction.

 

So... they don't think the Emperor really existed? :lol:

 

That's a novel idea!

Isn't that what I'm here for? Originality? :(

 

When I first wrote that peice up, I was thinking that since it was a giant myth in the Imperium and they were total liars, and since they typically view Chaos forces as... unreliable sources of information... :lol: they were like, "Something has to be creating the Astronomicon, but this whole Emperor nonsense is total BS. They probably just use the psykers from Black Ships to power the Astronomicon (or something, wasn't sure about that part)."

 

I'll fix everything else you mentioned, and I appreciate the look over. I would like this to be worthy of the Librarium and finished before I start any more projects, so I can say I accomplished something :P

 

 

EDIT:

Does this work?

To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium suspected. The Wraiths had fought in many wars over the millennia to earn their reputation, and have now become known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere - their outposts can be found in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity. If a leader has the resources, they can buy any number of astartes to do any job. Though the Wraiths of Darkness have many enemies who would destroy them, they simply cannot be found by any other means than their Masks, their representatives placed in the greatest of renegade trade worlds.

 

Also, didn't notice the sith lord comment. I'm now tempted to mention that most Librarians colour their blades red, although some instead chose green or blue :lol:

Edited January 9, 2012 by Dark Apostle Thirst

[Ace Debonair]

EDIT:

Does this work?

To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium suspected. The Wraiths had fought in many wars over the millennia to earn their reputation, and have now become known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere - their outposts can be found in the Eye of Terror, the Shroud Stars, the Eastern Fringe and several other hives of Chaotic activity. If a leader has the resources, they can buy any number of astartes to do any job. Though the Wraiths of Darkness have many enemies who would destroy them, they simply cannot be found by any other means than their Masks, their representatives placed in the greatest of renegade trade worlds.

 

It's better, but I still the think the word 'mercenary' should appear before the word 'reputation'. How about this?

 

" To the forces of Chaos they had existed much longer, and were much more powerful then the Imperium suspected. The Wraiths are known as mercenaries and assassins who can be found anywhere, having fought in many wars over the millenia to earn their reputation. Their outposts can be found... "

 

Also, didn't notice the sith lord comment. I'm now tempted to mention that most Librarians colour their blades red, although some instead chose green or blue :lol:

 

It's probably for the best if you don't go quite that far. :lol:

Evil force (weapon) users who operate in master-apprentice pairs is enough of a hint, I think! :lol:

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

'snip'

 

Done :)

 

It's probably for the best if you don't go quite that far. :P

Evil force (weapon) users who operate in master-apprentice pairs is enough of a hint, I think! :P

If you say so :P Suppose I don't want to get too cheesy with the unintentional reference, even if it is amusing ^_^

[Hrvat]

I just want to appologise for leaving you hanging without a reply. I am currently very bussy with the upcoming EU referendum and I don't know when I will be able to visit B&C any time soon.

 

Keep up the good work.

 

 

Cheers