Nyustukyi Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 Chapter 1: Introduction to Battle The din of battle roared over the vox. Space Marines reciting their vows to the Emperor of Mankind, he who is sits upon the Golden Throne. The tall black armored man swung his sword cutting the xenos down with little thought. This was common for him, an action he had done hundreds of thousands of times since he was a Neophyte. This was his life, and the best way he knew since he was young, to use his life to show the Emperor’s light to the far dark corners of the universe. He gleamed out the eyes of his helmet, the red eyes of death incarnate peering across the battlefield. In his gaze seven score of his battle brothers fought the slick body of one of the enemies of the Emperor. Another xenos charged him its mouth open, unleashing a primal war cry of their species. Its cry was cut off as his bolt pistol shot a holy round into the opening from whence the noise came. A clicking and buzzing sound came from above him he looked, and there floating was an abomination of which he had only heard about. The creature, may have been terrifying to most humans, he however was not human. He was a Space Marine. Furthermore he was not just a Space Marine. He was a Son of Dorn, A Black Templar, one of the Emperor’s finest. This creature did not bring fear into his body, he knew no fear. This creature bread anger into his body. Anger that such a being dared to darken the light of the Emperor himself. He began to muster himself, steading himself for combat. Then he began to run towards the thing. He was charging at full force, he would not be stopped. More of the slender beings came out to try and block his way. They found their punishment for being a foul xenos with the aid of his blade. His blade cut cleanly through the chest of one of the slender cousins, as it did so the bigger monstrosity began to buzz and click louder. It’s weapons swinging every which way in an attempt to hit the Space Marine. Its movements are so slow and so clumsy. I shall show it how a weapon is truly wielded. Thought the brave Knight as he charged head first into the arms of the beast. The chain-weapon buzzed by his head and he dug the sword deep into the creature. He heard the metal on metal clang, as well as the soft cutting of flesh. He pulled back and black ichor spilled out all over him. Even though the black ichor was covering his black painted armor and was not able to be seen; it was known by him. That is all that mattered. This filled him with more righteous anger and only increase the fury and zeal of his attacks. The sword plunged deeper with each thrust and with each sword strike. The knight pulled back his sword and landing once again on the earth now covered in more of the creature’s blood. The creature began its attack run again and the knight raised his head. Looking at the creature he took a deep breath behind the mask of his helmet. Exhaling his began his attack run with full fury. The sword struck the creature’s arm and then with the skill of a true knight doubled his attack. The sword found a new home and a new target, the neck of the creature. With one clean and swift strike the link between the head and body was severed by the knight’s mighty blow. The abomination was now defeated. The Knight took measure of himself and the rest of the battlefield. The dead now laid strewn out about, he looked and saw movement towards him. A team of six enemy troops moved towards him with cat like speed. They were bigger and stronger looking troops than the normal ones. These were Incubi. The vile xenos shock troops. Suddenly a loud crash and blast of heat and rubble could be seen and felt. There stood near him a drop pod. This brought no rest however. The shock troops were still charging to him. He made himself steadfast and held his ground. Let them burn out their fire faster so they can hit the ground sooner. He stood there waiting their attacks. The first came down with his sword and parrying it to the side, he stepped forward to follow through with a cut, but the agile xenos scum jumped backwards. A partner of his current sparing opponent stepped forth and tried a heavy handed slash only to find itself on the receiving end of a power armored fist to its face. The punch set it flying backwards. It was then, at this time that the others pronounced their attacks in the grandest degree. As if killing him was a mere game. He would not be felled so easily. He blocked two of the attacks. The other two it looked like would strike home. Then a mighty black sword came across and blocked the attack. He recognized it almost instantaneously. The Emperor’s Champion. He thought praising the Emperor as he did so. Yet at the same time he chastised himself for being in the situation of letting the enemies of mankind have an opening. The Champion pushed the two swords back and was now back to back with his battle brother. The Knight knowing his brother in arms was there pushed back his opponent’s as well. The two Templars stood, overshadowing and glaring down at the shock troops. “Is this the best they have Brother Eberious?” asked the Champion over the vox. "It would appear so Champion Th!rdeye.” he told his brother holding back the shear anger that now swelled inside him like a rising river to a dam. Then the Incubi moved again, this time all six were on the attack. “This is even, three for each of us.” He told the Champion stepping forward parrying a blow and delivering a fatal slash to the back of the xenos. His power armored and super human strength giving him a slight edge when it came to cutting their feeble armor. “Only if you think you can get that many without me having to rescue you again dear brother.” The Champion replied felling one with a mighty blow enough to destroy it’s sword and cut into the creatures armor for a fatal blow. At this he knew his brother Knight would be enraged, which he thought was fine. The more zeal he would have to kill the xenos that plagued this area. The next few minutes were a mere blur as the Templars killed three more of the xeno’s best. The last Incubi did not run but stood his ground. That is until he was impaled upon a lightning claw through the chest. The massive hand of a terminator sticking right through him. The soon-to-be lifeless Incubi was thrown like trash to the side. There stood the tall figure in Tactical Dreadnought Armor. “The battle moves brothers we move to purge the rest of the filthy xenos from this area and world.” Said the figure over the vox. They both recognized it as that of their brother. “Then by the Emperor’s light we go to find those that hide in the shadows and force them to burn with the fires of penance and retribution.” Stated the Emperor’s Champion pointing the sword towards the city. To think, they had only just started the battle for the city. This was merely the outskirts, and the real battle would be far harder than this. “Elder Brother Marshal2 Crusaders, will you be joining us with the rest of the Sword Brethren you brought with you?” asked Eberious looking at the giant figure and seeing the stinging red glow of the other Terminators. With the four others he had brought with him with the elder brother, the squad numbered five. “Younger brother, if I were you I would worry more on the battle than me. After all if you expect to purge this world you should not have any more openings in your attacks now should you?” said the Terminator to the younger battle brother. This was not words of malice but of experience, in hopes to teach the younger brother a valued lesson. “That I shall Elder Brother. That I shall.” They said as they started to move out to the city. They could see more drop pods landing inside the city and around as the sun began to set. This battle was far from over, but the day it seemed, was. Now the night campaign would begin. Fitting, he thought. The battle would take place in the dark. It was now time for them to bring the light of the Emperor to the city once again. He was determind to make it happen. Regardless if it was the light of humanity brought back, of the light from the flames of faith. This city would see the light, one way or another. ~~~Sorry its so bad and so short never really know how much is enough and such when I write. 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Roesor Posted January 31, 2012 Share Posted January 31, 2012 I liked it, but i'd alter peoples names a touch so they looked like actual names, it kinda pulls you out of the story you know? Thirdeye Marshal Crusada etc... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2981905 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyustukyi Posted January 31, 2012 Author Share Posted January 31, 2012 That makes sense, I will try that next chapter. Thanks for the imput. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2981908 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Nathanial Posted February 2, 2012 Share Posted February 2, 2012 This is actually a really cool story so far keep it up I would like to read more. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2983900 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vazzy Posted February 3, 2012 Share Posted February 3, 2012 Pretty good, I like it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2984843 Share on other sites More sharing options...
WARRENSTORM Posted February 8, 2012 Share Posted February 8, 2012 Only advice I would give is to try to mix up your descriptions some insted of using creature repeatedly you could use abominatio, monstrosity, foul beast and so on. I thought he was fighting Nids at first because of the repated creature reference. Just trying to help make the story a little more fluid. Its a great start for sure :teehee: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2987918 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Nyustukyi Posted February 13, 2012 Author Share Posted February 13, 2012 Thank you all! @Warrenstorm: Thank you, I try to break from repetition however, it is a mean beast to break from. I will try to use more Abominations and Foul Beast, Monstrosity I never thought of, so thank you for that. Next Chapter will be up within the week. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2991767 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother-Captain Sicarius Posted February 15, 2012 Share Posted February 15, 2012 looking forward to reading the next chapter :D Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/246404-system-of-darkness/#findComment-2993688 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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