Index Astartes: Aurora Knights

[Viray]

http://i781.photobucket.com/albums/yy91/FlareX3/Aurora%20Knights/AuroraKnight4.jpg

Tactical Marine of the 3rd Company

during the Twentieth Founding, and is a successor of the first Legion of the Adeptus Astartes: the Dark Angels. The Chapter's official function is to serve as a guardian force for Josephus, a remote subsector on the southern fringes of Ultima Segmentum. Its extreme distance from any significant military presence proved to be a dangerous incentive for the alien and the malcontent, leading to a near perpetual state of conflict within the subsector. When the chaos that had long plagued Josephus threatened to spill into the sector proper, it was at last deemed appropriate to reinforce Imperial authority in the area, and it was the Space Marines of the Aurora Knights who were given that task.

However, there was a second impetus for the founding of the Aurora Knights, known only to the Knights themselves and their brothers within the Unforgiven. In truth, the Chapter was also intended to serve as a sort of sentry for the First Legion within the more isolated sectors of the already distant Ultima Segmentum. Those amongst the Inner Circle who had subtly pushed for the creation of the Aurora Knights had hoped that the new Chapter would extend the Unforgiven's influence within the Segmentum and prevent any of the Fallen from seeking refuge in its vast shadow. Since the Aurora Knights had been tasked with the guardianship of Josephus, it would not be unexpected for the Chapter to deploy in force anywhere within subsector or the immediate areas around it. As such, the Aurora Knights could move with ease, pursuing rumors and completing the First Legion's dark agenda without arousing any undue suspicion.

Initially, the Chapter?s dual natures managed to mesh amicably with one another. Their status as one of the Unforgiven had imbued the Aurora Knights with a frightening drive, earning the Knights a rather favorable reputation amongst the inhabitants of Josephus for their seemingly unfailing defense of the subsector. None imagined that there was a more sinister purpose behind the Space Marines? tireless vigil. At the same time, the Knights themselves, having grown accustomed to their position as guardians, adopted a more humanitarian attitude towards their charges. Protecting the lives of Imperial citizens had become as equally important to the Chapter as preserving the First Legion?s honor. This balance of duty came to define the Aurora Knights, their roles as wardens for both the Dark Angels and the Imperium prompting the Chapter to elevate the virtue of service above all others. Ironically, it was this devotion that almost proved their undoing.

The St. Kotal Insurrection
In M.36.913, the agri-world of St. Kotal was engulfed in rebellion, a serious threat to the wellbeing of the subsector as a whole. St. Kotal?s exports were responsible for sustaining several systems in Josephus; if the planet fell, billions would face starvation. In order to prevent such a catastrophe, elements of the Aurora Knights? 5th Company were dispatched to ensure that St. Kotal stayed under Imperial rule. The nature of the threat prompted the Astartes to deploy, not as agents of the First Legion, but as the protectors of Josephus. As such, the Aurora Knights were unprepared for what they would discover about the identity of the rebellion?s leader: that the one behind St. Kotal?s suffering was one of the Fallen Angels.

Torn between the Aurora Knights? conflicting philosophies, the Fifth Company?s Captain was unable to prioritize between the Knights? obligation to their parent Chapter and their obligation to the people of Josephus. In the end, the Captain attempted to fulfill both; he succeeded in neither. The Space Marines were eventually forced off St. Kotal by rebel forces and the world fell soon after. Much of the blame for the loss of St. Kotal fell on the Aurora Knights and their tactical indecision. The Chapter did not contest this conclusion.

While the Aurora Knights eventually returned in force to retake the planet, it was far too late to undo the damage. Millions were dead from the war as well as the resulting famine, and the Fallen Angel had long since disappeared. In addition to this, several worlds, spurred on by the success of the insurrection on St. Kotal, had attempted secession. It was a disaster on an unprecedented scale. In the end, the Chapter was only spared an inquiry due to its previously exemplary record of service. Nevertheless, their erratic behavior during the St. Kotal campaign had drawn the attention of the Inquisition as well as the scorn of the people they had sought to protect. It was a shame the Chapter, in its current form, could not survive.

With the ruinous outcome of the St. Kotal campaign, the leadership of the Aurora Knights realized the impossibility of the Chapter?s pursuit of such clashing ideologies. However, those amongst the Knights? command also understood that abandoning either of the Chapter?s responsibilities was similarly impossible: the reason for Aurora Knights? inception was to serve both the Imperium and the Dark Angels Legion; they could not choose one duty over the other. The Aurora Knights needed to be simultaneously the shield of the Imperium and the sword of the First Legion. To address this paradox, it was deemed necessary that the Aurora Knights themselves become a paradox. The Chapter divided itself: on one end stood the defenders of Josephus, the Aurora Knights; while in the Chapter?s shadow lurked the enforcers of the Unforgiven?s will, the Iron Guardians. The Chapter now existed as two entities, entirely dedicated to their respective ideals to the exclusion of all else; at last, now separated, the Aurora Knights had unity in their purpose.

Homeworld

The Aurora Knights hail from Xentian, a deathworld covered in lush jungle teeming with dangerous and exotic fauna and plant life. The temperature of the world is excessively hot and the atmosphere is constantly charged with moisture. Vast oceans separate the planet's three major continents and the many islands that surround these landmasses like satellites.

In comparison to the planet's original inhabitants, the human population of Xentian is but a footnote in its vast ecosystem, forced to live in fortress-cities spread across the world's continents in order to survive. Apart from the local wildlife, the humans of Xentian share the planet with a large population of Orks who, despite the many efforts to eradicate them, remain a significant influence upon the world. As expected under such unforgiving circumstances, life on Xentian is hard for the children of Terra and the burden of living in constant mortal danger has bred a strange people that are both pragmatic and superstitious: their practicality keeps them alive; their spirituality keeps them sane.

The Aurora Knights themselves make their home in the mountainous regions surrounding the Great Desert, having erected a fortress amongst these stony peaks. The fortress itself is carved into the face of a mountain, protected not only by solid rock and adamantium, but by layers of shielding, turret defenses, and grim patrols of Knights. Those wishing to join the ranks of the Order must first travel through miles of steamy jungle, rife with the many deadly traps of nature, before having to traverse the treacherous slopes of the mountains where no pathway exists that is friendly to the sons of humanity.

Organization

On the surface, the Aurora Knights are strict adherents to the guidelines laid down by the Codex Astartes. However, this supposedly close compliance is merely a front to hide the Chapter?s actual deviancy. In order to fully fight for both the citizens of the Imperium and their brothers within the Unforgiven, the Aurora Knights? organizational structure hides a number of irregularities, the most notable being their unusual reliance on their Chapter serfs as well as the composition of their First Company, the Iron Guardians.

Bondsmen of the Aurora Knights
In order to alleviate some of the logistical stress of defending a stretch of space as vast as a subsector, the Aurora Knights have taken to militarizing their own serfs on a level unusual to most Space Marine Chapters. In addition to their more mundane tasks of maintaining the Chapter?s functions, the serfs of the Aurora Knights are expected to fight alongside their superhuman counterparts and even operate as an entirely independent force. In fact, many of the patrol ships the Knights employ are manned solely by the Chapter?s serfs, the Astartes being far too few in number to disperse across so wide a range.

However, the gravest task these mortal servants of the Chapter hold is their role in the Unforgiven?s hunt for the Fallen. The serfs? retention of their humanity grants them a degree of freedom denied to the Astartes: they are inconspicuous. Thus, they are the perfect spies for the Chapter, able to discreetly investigate rumors that may concern the Fallen on the Space Marines? behalf. Of course, even the most trusted of these serfs remain ignorant of what it is they truly pursue, with those unfortunate enough to accidentally uncover the truth disposed of without hesitation. Regardless, the loyalty of the Chapter?s serfs is absolute; those chosen to bear the burden of this dark quest follow their orders with unquestioning zeal even though they know that it may one day lead to their destruction.

The Iron Guardians
After the events on St. Kotal, the First Company of the Aurora Knights was reorganized into the Iron Guardians: a sect within the Chapter that abandoned the Knights? role as Josephus?s defenders to instead wholly commit to the sacred mission of the Unforgiven. Though the Iron Guardians still hold the virtue of service in the highest regard, it is only to their duty to the First Legion that they are dedicated. The Company?s existence has freed the Chapter from its earlier philosophical conflict, the Iron Guardians having wholly taken upon themselves the sin of their heritage.

In terms of organization, the Iron Guardians could scarcely be considered a proper Company of the Adeptus Astartes. They are entirely autonomous from the rest of the Chapter, the Iron Guardian?s Captain having been given authority equal to the Chapter Master?s own, and their number far exceeds the amount mandated by the Codex, a byproduct of scope of the task they have been assigned. In a way, they are an organization distinct from the Chapter itself; though they operate alongside their brethren, they fall outside the Chapter?s hierarchy of command.

The Aurora Knights have managed to hide the extent of this dangerous deviation through the very nature of the Iron Guardian?s purpose. They are the huntsmen of the First Legion. As such, the warriors of the First Company are never gathered in force; instead, they are scattered across the Chapter?s many Companies or sent out in small teams on covert operations to act as the judgment of the Unforgiven when the Aurora Knights cannot.

Combat Doctrine

In terms of tactics, the Aurora Knights generally follow the Codex Astartes, supplementing its knowledge with the experience they have earned on the battlefield. Nevertheless, despite the Chapter's general adherence to Guilliman's sacred tome, the Aurora Knights show an undeniable preference to certain styles of combat, most notably a predilection towards close combat. This is a byproduct of recruiting from Xentian, where the dense jungle environments often meant combat was decided up close and on the edge of a blade.

Fortunately, this specialty has proven to be an invaluable asset to the Chapter in fulfilling its duties. For example, due to their more overt function of policing Josephus, naval battles are the most common engagement the Aurora Knights take part in. Since brutal, short ranged fire fights and frenzied charges are the hallmarks of the Knights' ways of war, the Aurora Knights have a definite edge in the claustrophobic conditions of boarding actions. Likewise, the Aurora Knights? focus on dealing with the enemy in close quarters has proven an invaluable asset even in the Chapter?s hunt for the Fallen. Rather than risk killing targets with potential information, or even their actual Space Marine quarry, through the use of impersonal ranged weaponry, the Aurora Knights? ability at subduing their enemies in hand-to-hand help ensure their marks are captured alive.

Beliefs

The Aurora Knights' beliefs are strongly influenced by the nature of the duties given to them by both the Imperium and the Unforgiven. The Knights view themselves as servants: tireless watchmen set against the encroaching darkness from the merciless void and from their own Legion?s shameful legacy. In that regard, the Aurora Knights place great value on the virtues of dignity, honor, and, most of all, humility. The Aurora Knights understand the importance of adhering to such virtues lest they be tempted to become more than what they were created to be and so lose sight of their purpose in selfish hubris.

Also, unlike many Space Marine Chapters, the Aurora Knights hold to a religious creed. The origins of this faith stem from traditional spiritual practices on Xentian: a mixture of folk religion and the Imperial Creed. The influence of the Aurora Knights' professed faith even extends unto the battlefield. Many members of the Chapter often go to war bearing blessed amulets or parchment scrawled with sacred text in the belief that such objects will grant them divine protection in battle. Whether or not such practices truly offer supernatural aid to the Aurora Knights is inconsequential, for the Astartes are instilled with a fiery zeal regardless, allowing the fervent Marines to fight with seemingly inexhaustible energy and terrifying purpose.

Geneseed

The Aurora Knights are a force born of the legendary Dark Angels, a Chapter renowned for the remarkable purity of its geneseed. As befitting warriors descended of Lion El'Jonson, the Aurora Knights geneseed parallels that of their parent Chapter, remaining pure throughout their long millennia of service. Also, like all warriors of the Unforgiven, the Aurora Knights are proud of their heritage and are willing to go to great lengths to prevent any dishonor to the Dark Angels. As such, the Apothecaries of the Aurora Knights strive constantly to keep the integrity of their Chapter's geeneseed intact, ever diligent for signs of taint lest they disgrace the legacy of their Primarch with the shame of mutation.

Battle Cry

The Aurora Knights have no single battle cry; instead, there a number of war cries, chants, and hymns that are prevalent throughout the Chapter.

Fiction

Aurora Knight Edited March 5, 2012 by Viray

[Malthe]

Hi Viray :)

I very much know the feeling of never getting finished with an IA, best of luck to you with this attempt.

 

 

I think you need to differentiate you chapter from their peers.

Basically what you have described below is a chapter of slightly more friendly, yet close-combat eager, Dark Angels.

Which is, frankly, not very captivating.

 

I think the main problem is that you have neglected to produce a 'Beliefs' section, which I believe is the most important section of them all!

 

Also I believe you should expand upon your 'Home World' section. As it is you have merely described the planet from which your chapter recruites, but I think you would benefit from exploring how recruiting from this world effects the Aurora Knights, beyond their choice of weapons.

 

Finaly you state that the Aurora Knights are proud to be among the unforgiven, which strikes me as odd.

How can you take pride in having committed an unforgivable crime?

If you insist on this, I feel you should expand upon it, as it could well serve to set your chapter appart from the Dark Angels, whom they are currently very much alike.

 

 

Generely, I think writing an interesting IA about a chapter of the Unforgiven is difficult.

In order to be truely interesting, the way the DIY-chapter deals with the Fallen must be unique in some way. Which is difficult to do without implausibilities popping up all over the place...

Still, when done well, it's typically very rewarding, as the DA really is one of the most interesting chapters out there.

 

 

Those are my two cents, hope it helps.

Cheers!

 

 

p.s. Is there any significance in the name Aurora Knights, it seems unusual - in a good way :rolleyes:

[Viray]

Hey, thanks for taking the time to look through my IA and give some feedback.

 

... you have neglected to produce a 'Beliefs' section, which I believe is the most important section of them all!

I probably should have mentioned this in the first post, and I'll edit it in after this post, but the IA posted up is just comprised of the parts I felt were developed enough to suffer criticism. The Beliefs and Organization section are still early in development.

 

Also I believe you should expand upon your 'Home World' section. As it is you have merely described the planet from which your chapter recruites, but I think you would benefit from exploring how recruiting from this world effects the Aurora Knights, beyond their choice of weapons.

Alright, will do. I actually got the same advice earlier, but I was having trouble fleshing out the world without going too in-depth. I thought maybe I could get away with what I had. ;)

 

How can you take pride in having committed an unforgivable crime?

I thought the fact that they sought to purge their shame by any and all means necessary meant that the Unforgiven were supremely proud. Why not just let it go? I suppose I could have written it clearer; I'll see what I can do in the next update.

 

p.s. Is there any significance in the name Aurora Knights, it seems unusual - in a good way :)

Just something I thought up way back when in childhood. I thought adopting the name for my Chapter would be nice. Fluff-wise, there are several reasons I can come up with on to why they bear such a name, but I'm not satisfied with any of them.

[Malthe]

No problem, mate.

 

Regarding Beliefs and Organization:

Glad to hear it! I suspected that it might be the case, but I figured I'd comment on it in any event. Just in case ;)

I hope to see those sections soon, as they really make commenting on the character of your chapter much easier.

 

@ Home world: I think the crux of the matter is that you wanne focus strictly on how your home world effects your marines.

Lenghty descriptions of geography and the like adds some flavour and imagery, but it is really the consequences of having said home world that are of interest.

That being said, don't worry too much about it.

The nature of your chapter's home world could easily be of little significans, compared to other aspects of your IA, though in that case I would consider just having them be space bound.

Saves you time and worries.

 

@ Crime and punishment (shame/pride)

Well you could certainly have your chapter think the way you describe, but it is my understanding that this would set them very much appart from the rest of the Unforgiven!

The Dark Angels and most of their succesors are very much defined by their shame and the way they deal with it (hunting the Fallen).

 

Now that I think about it, it occurs to me that having your chapter take pride in their hunt for the Fallen, seeking to make up for the sins of their fathers, could easily be the way to make them stand out from the rest of the Unforgiven.

I am unsure wether this has been done before, but the idea seems interesting to me.

 

Cheers :)

 

 

p.s. Oh and regarding the name:

Sounds fair, I was just wondering.

[Viray]

Alright, after another break, thankfully much shorter than the last, I’ve managed to write up enough material to be worth updating. The first time I put these guys up, I ended up trying to do too much and, when I tried to fix this in their most recent incarnation, ended up doing too little. Funnily enough, I think I went full circle and tried to do too much again. Ah, well.

 

I suppose it might help those wishing to pass onto me some gems of literary wisdom if I gave a brief overview of what I want to accomplish with this Index Astartes. Basically, I wanted to create a Chapter based on the religious cults active during the Philippine Revolution and the Philippine-American War. They’ve always fascinated me, and with all the other Chapters running around with real world influences, I wanted to give it a go myself. As you can see, I failed miserably: there is little to indicate where the Aurora Knights draw their real world inspiration from and that, my friends, is because there is very little left.

 

Like I said earlier, I tried to do too much when I first came up with these guys, and one of the biggest mistakes, I think, was choosing the Dark Angels as their primogenitors. Due to their heritage, I really had to work in the whole Unforgiven aspect into the IA. Then, when I tried to come up with an origin story, I realized I had more story elements I had to fit in somewhere. Ultimately, I ended up cutting out most of the “fanatical religious cult” aspect in favor of something entirely different yet still made a few stubborn, and very awkward, attempts at retaining some aspect of my original vision.

 

... And I still haven't learned. As a result, you have this little monstrosity. I’ve done my best to make it a bit more presentable, but I am certain that I still have work to do (which really, really makes me sad :blink:). Really, any advice on how best to approach this death trap known as "IA writing" would be appreciated.

 

@Malthe: I’ve finally put up the Beliefs and Organizations.

 

Also, I’ve tried to address your two points on the “Homeworld” and “Geneseed” section. Being a lazy bum, my “fix” is more of a tiny “patch/band aid,” but I hope I did enough in terms of wordplay to get around some of the problems in the sections.

[NightrawenII]

Oh, I remember those bygone days. It was the time of fiery battles, mindless bloodshed and insane bravery. It was then, when the deeds of mortal men were forged into legends... :P

 

Well, I could comment the article, but it would just give you yet another headache, so I would rather not... :nuke:

 

IMHO, it's not like you are walking in circles, it's just that you are walking in wrong direction(s). Observe:

"Since the founding of their Legion at the birth of the Imperium, the Space Marines of Dark Angels have been feared by their enemies and held in awe by those they protect. Stubborn and relentless in battle, ever vigilant and zealous in pursuit of their duties, the Dark Angels are among the Emperor's most faithful servants. Yet it was not always so. For ten millennia, the Dark Angels have harboured a sinister secret, an act so terribie and shameful it threatens everything the Dark Angels hold most dear - and may yet bring them eternal damnation."

 

This is opening paragraph of the Index Astartes: Dark Angels. You see the problem, right? The only one way out I can see right now is very simple - Have you seen this thread? Do it. Do it. Do it. Hopefully, this will yield some characteristics, which aren't too darkangels-esque, a good starting point of Index Astartes article.

 

 

~NightrawenII.

[Viray]

Oh, I remember those bygone days. It was the time of fiery battles, mindless bloodshed and insane bravery. It was then, when the deeds of mortal men were forged into legends... ;)

Those days will return. Fear not, brother. Fear not. :P

 

Well, I could comment the article, but it would just give you yet another headache, so I would rather not... :D

Ouch. When you feel you have to show mercy, I know I screwed up pretty good. ^_^

 

... it's not like you are walking in circles...

;)

 

... it's just that you are walking in wrong direction(s).

:(

 

On the bit you quoted from the Dark Angels IA, yes, I definitely see the problem. This is a painful failing on my part for failing to consider language's natural ambiguity. What I had tried to get across with the Knights is that they are a Chapter that, since they value duty so highly, have become been consumed in the pursuit of their clashing responsibilities. If I highlight this paradoxical duality more, would it distinguish them enough for the DA's sense of duty and save me from having to rework the Knights' Origins yet again?

 

What I mean is perhaps something like this:

 

The Dark Angels are covertly hypocritical and illogical; they place their own agenda over the duties assigned to them by the Imperium, bringing shame onto their Primarch's legacy with the very actions they take intended to do otherwise.

 

On the other hand, the Aurora Knights are overtly hypocritical and illogical; realizing that their two responsibilites directly interfere with one another, they instead choose to divide themselves rather than face the disturbing implications as to why their tasks conflict in the first place. However, now that the Chapter's philosophies have been completely split, and with it formed a physical manifestation of the First Legion's own irrationality in the form of the Iron Guardians, this division of duties could end up having serious reprecussions within the Chapter.

 

Eg: as the years pass by and the memories of having shared the burden of the Hunt for the Fallen begins to fade amongst the normal Knights, they could become increasingly disturbed by the presence and actions of the Iron Guardians, who they no longer understand. Similarly, the Iron Guardians, stuck in the same situation, have begun to look upon their other brethren as "unfaithful" to their sanctified origins.

 

I dunno, it's a shot in the dark. If that doesn't work, well, shoot. I'll just have to think of another approach.

 

Also, I'll definitely try to utilize that thread you mentioned. It looks like a load of fun and seems like a good literary exercise to boot.

 

Anyway, just to let anybody reading know, chances are I won't be able to work on this IA anymore until the end of this month (which is infuriating as I have a severe desire to write right now and a boat load of mistakes to fix) due to upcoming university assignments. I've got two hefty papers and finals coming up; they'll be a big distraction for me until I can get them taken care of. :huh:

 

That aside, thanks to all who've taken the time to read and thanks NightrawenII for the critique (and mercy :P ).

Edited March 7, 2012 by Viray

[NightrawenII]

Okey, I'm going to leave my reply here in hope that you are going to read it in the case of return. If not, then I have wasted two hours of my life [menacing voice] Which is not a pleasant thought at all and there WILL be repercussions... [/menacing voice]

 

Anyway... I think your perception of Dark Angels is too much of black/white. Look here, several people have had very good points, when it comes to Fallen. Also:

Blood Angels and Dark Angels- There are two types of popularized angels archetypes. The Guardian Angel and the Angels of Death. The Blood Angels are the guardian angels of the Imperium, descending on wings of light where they can help the most and do the most good. They are noble and proud, beautiful in their conduct and appearance. People want the Blood Angels to come help them. Their Primarch was universally loved and is held as the greatest of the Primarchs. They see themselves as Angels, like their Primarch, and act that way.

 

The I Legion is the yin to the Blood Angels 'Angelic' yang. They are not the ones you want to come help you. They are the wrathful angels descended to bring God's judgment down upon sinful populations. If the Dark Angels have become involved in what you were trying to do, you have made a mistake somewhere, and now they have come to solve your problems for you. You didn't want them too, but you were too incompetent to get it done, so here they are. Lion El'Johnson was a cold, unfeeling warrior. The consummate strategist, unburdened by conscience (or however A D-B put it). He was not a hero, and his sons are not heroes, they are instruments of wrath. They conduct themselves as a knightly order, and hold knightly traditions.

 

In all honesty, most of your problems stems from your contempt of the Dark Angels themes. - You are against the Hunt of Fallen and you want them to be Yang-Angels. - I don't know, maybe you are not suited for Tower of Angels and you should seek solace somewhere else. :nuke:

 

 

~NightrawenII.

Edited March 7, 2012 by NightrawenII

[Viray]

Okey, I'm going to leave my reply here in hope that you are going to read it in the case of return. If not, then I have wasted two hours of my life [menacing voice] Which is not a pleasant thought at all and there WILL be repercussions... [/menacing voice]

Haha, don't worry; I don't like wasting people's time. Also, like I said, I really want to write this IA, so I've made a promise to myself to keep to work on this over break. So it'll be a two week hiatus rather than two years.

 

And it won't be like I'm just up and leaving the boards (though I probably should, considering I need to focus); I just wanted to put it out there that I don't have too much time to commit to updating this IA until the end of March.

 

 

Anyway... I think your perception of Dark Angels is too much of black/white. Look here, several people have had very good points, when it comes to Fallen. Also:

Blood Angels and Dark Angels- There are two types of popularized angels archetypes. The Guardian Angel and the Angels of Death. The Blood Angels are the guardian angels of the Imperium, descending on wings of light where they can help the most and do the most good. They are noble and proud, beautiful in their conduct and appearance. People want the Blood Angels to come help them. Their Primarch was universally loved and is held as the greatest of the Primarchs. They see themselves as Angels, like their Primarch, and act that way.

 

The I Legion is the yin to the Blood Angels 'Angelic' yang. They are not the ones you want to come help you. They are the wrathful angels descended to bring God's judgment down upon sinful populations. If the Dark Angels have become involved in what you were trying to do, you have made a mistake somewhere, and now they have come to solve your problems for you. You didn't want them too, but you were too incompetent to get it done, so here they are. Lion El'Johnson was a cold, unfeeling warrior. The consummate strategist, unburdened by conscience (or however A D-B put it). He was not a hero, and his sons are not heroes, they are instruments of wrath. They conduct themselves as a knightly order, and hold knightly traditions.

 

In all honesty, most of your problems stems from your contempt of the Dark Angels themes. - You are against the Hunt of Fallen and you want them to be Yang-Angels. - I don't know, maybe you are not suited for Tower of Angels and you should seek solace somewhere else. :D

 

 

~NightrawenII.

Too black and white... Yeah, that could very well be it.

 

However, in my defense, I don't mean to hold the themes of the Dark Angels in contempt; I've chosen to use such negative diction while portraying their themes because I believe such themes really are negative. The Dark Angels are hypocritical. The Hunt for the Fallen is irrational and counterproductive. I thought this self-destructive bent was a facet integral to the character of the First Legion, creating that sinister air Marshal2 Crusaders was talking about in the quote above.

 

I do see your point though: a Dark Angels successor with the Aurora Knights' current mentality just isn't believable. I also think you're right about keeping the Dark Angels as my Chapter's progenitors is really hurting me. I've been thinking about switching to another genetic line for awhile, but I really wanted to stick with the Unforgiven because the Dark Angels were what really drew me into the hobby. Still, at ths point, if I can't pull it off, I think it really may be time to change it up.

[Lysimachus]

Just a very quick comment on the themes of this Chapter as it seems like you may be changing the details in the near future anyway:

 

Firstly, I've always loved the short story, so kudos for that. It's an excellent piece of work and it made me very interested to learn more about this Chapter.

 

I have to say though that I never really thought 'Dark Angels' when considering Brother K's (can't remember his name?) attitude, he seemed far too humble, too selfless.

 

Remember, there are plenty of knightly themed Chapters that aren't DA Successors.

 

Obvious alternatives for gene line include:

Dornian: Very pious, very focused on service, and look at the BT for knightly!

Vulcan: Simply for the Salamanders humanitarian nature

Ultras: A blank slate, although then you have to explain more how your Chapter became the way it is, the others might give you a little bit of a head start.

Edited March 8, 2012 by Strike Captain Lysimachus

[NightrawenII]

Ultras: A blank slate, although then you have to explain more how your Chapter became the way it is, the others might give you a little bit of a head start.

The Ultramarines are often described as noble and honorable warriors and their battlecry is "Courage and Honour!" so there you go...

 

 

~NightrawenII

[Lysimachus]

lols, fair enough, I was perhaps being a bit facetious about the boys in blue... :D

[Viray]

Firstly, I've always loved the short story, so kudos for that. It's an excellent piece of work and it made me very interested to learn more about this Chapter.

Wow, thanks for the kind words. I'm very glad you liked the story (even in spite of its grammatical mistakes).

 

As your suggestions, I was thinking about switching to either Dorn or Guilliman. It will be an interesting process, to say the least, to try to approach the Knights from this different angle. Still, it frees me up quite a bit and perhaps now I can work towards emphasizing the themes I had mostly abandoned.

 

More things to mull over, I guess.

[Beachymike123]

i'm just gonna throw my 2p worth in here. i thought about, at one point, changing my chapter's genetic line to another, but i decided against it. once i thought it over, i saw it as a challenge - can you do it? of course you can, it just needs a bit more thought is all. you could say your 1st company is the equivelant to the DA deathwing, and have suffered horrendous losses due to their hunt for the fallen. with each loss, they see that the unlearned of your chapter are more ignorant, and this drives them on further etc. please take nightrawen's ciricism as consructive - he knows his stuff and means you no harm, just pointers in the right direction (look no further than my IA for how he critiqued me, which i am in process of now sorting coz of him lol). take what he says on board brother, it will help. and, btw, i know how you feel, as i collected DA as my 1st proper army bavk in the day. my advise, i suppose, is to stick at it. the rewards are great and unique

[Dosjetka]

I'll read this one some time later on today, but I just wanted to comment on the short story that you have written: it was a great read and I thank you for sharing it :)

 

Ludovic

 

Edit: Now that I have some time, I'll give it a shot. Goodness, it's been a while since I last did this...

 

"Service is the greatest of disciplines for it humbles the spirit and purifies the heart; pride has no place in the Adeptus Astartes.” - Credo of the Aurora Knights

 

I love this quote. I really do. And I'm a bit worried, because I've got a feeling that this is exactly how I'd like my very own Astartes Chapter to be like. Ah well, I'll have to find something else then ^_^

 

The colour scheme is really cool too.

 

First part of the Origins sector has no faults in my view, but the second part did nag a bit. Let me explain.

 

Torn between the Aurora Knights’ conflicting philosophies, the Fifth Company’s Captain was unable to prioritize between the Knights’ obligation to their parent Chapter and their obligation to the people of Josephus.

This sentence broke my belief in the story for a short while (got it back afterwards, don't worry ;)). I know it's easy for me to say "Well, the Captain should have done this and not that", so I won't. But what I will say is that I'm surprised that such an Astartes would be seen fit to command a Company. In my view, the Captain is the leader of his men and so he must make the final decision (I'm sure you'll agree). But what he must also do, in my view, is be able to prioritise in any situation, however hard it must be. I know that I would have chosen to hunt down the Fallen and then regret it due to the loss of human life. But I would also know that the losses sustained by the populace could be replaced and the effects on the whole campaign. The Captain's hesitation is understandable, but in my view Astartes should be above most, if not all, hesitation. But then again, it is my opinion, so do what you want with it :)

The rest of the section is fine though.

 

The Home World section is good, but would be even better if there was a bit more detail added to it. I would have liked the Origins section and the Home World section to follow-up smoothly, but it is not mandatory and it still reads quite well. Oh, and I'm not sure about having Orks on the planet, but I don't really have the time to discuss that now, so I'll carry on and come back to it if need be later on.

 

For the Organisation section, I do like the Bondsmen idea. It is a bit strange and quite unique (I haven't seen anything similar to it, I don't think, though that doesn't mean that it doesn't exist), but it works well and it is believable, in my view. Nothing much to say about the Iron Guardians apart from the fact that it is, for me, a logical thing to have in this Chapter.

 

The Combat Doctrine is fine, though maybe an example of a battle they fought or a bit more about their combat philosophy wouldn't go amiss :)

 

I do agree with the various comments above that the Beliefs section should be longer and contain more, as it is the "soul" of every IA in my view. Not sure what you could add, but I doubt that you don't have anything to add.

 

The Gene Seed and Battle-Cry sections are fine and the lack of a unified Battle-Cry is "logical" if you look at the Chapter's character, in my view.

 

All in all, it was a nice read and I look forward to seeing what you add/change/remove in your next update :) Hopefully you'll manage to finish your course work with little difficulty! Good luck with that!

 

Cheers,

 

Ludovic

Edited March 9, 2012 by Battle-Brother Ludovic

[NightrawenII]

i'm just gonna throw my 2p worth in here. i thought about, at one point, changing my chapter's genetic line to another, but i decided against it. once i thought it over, i saw it as a challenge - can you do it? of course you can, it just needs a bit more thought is all. you could say your 1st company is the equivelant to the DA deathwing, and have suffered horrendous losses due to their hunt for the fallen. with each loss, they see that the unlearned of your chapter are more ignorant, and this drives them on further etc. please take nightrawen's ciricism as consructive - he knows his stuff and means you no harm, just pointers in the right direction (look no further than my IA for how he critiqued me, which i am in process of now sorting coz of him lol). take what he says on board brother, it will help. and, btw, i know how you feel, as i collected DA as my 1st proper army bavk in the day. my advise, i suppose, is to stick at it. the rewards are great and unique

Oh, don't worry we had very lengthy and fruitful discussion already two years ago. (I feel old now. :( )

 

Okey, I have to explain myself here (How come, I'm labeled bad guy every single time I'm trying to be nice. There is something wrong with this treatment! *grumble grumble*). :P

 

I did refrain from comment of the "The St. Kotal Insurrection" because; How do you quell a rebellion? - I would say, it's through the removal of ringleaders, agitators and the like. So, the Captain in charge of strike force would go after enemy leadership and, by the way, capture the Fallen. No hesitation, no remorse.

 

But such 'solution' deals a killing blow to the rest of article. <_<

 

 

~NightrawenII.

[Dosjetka]

I did refrain from comment of the "The St. Kotal Insurrection" because; How do you quell a rebellion? - I would say, it's through the removal of ringleaders, agitators and the like. So, the Captain in charge of strike force would go after enemy leadership and, by the way, capture the Fallen. No hesitation, no remorse.

 

But such 'solution' deals a killing blow to the rest of article. <_<

 

 

~NightrawenII.

Yes, sadly, it does :P

 

And Nightrawen, we all know that despite the hard exterior, deep, deep down, there's a soft caring heart :(

 

Ludovic

Edited March 9, 2012 by Battle-Brother Ludovic

[Beachymike123]

sorry nightrawen, didn't mean it like that. we need people like you to help us flesh out the ideas. suppose the way to describe you is more like a librarian - well thought with good intentions but often misunderstood. sorry if i offended you. <_<

the aurora knights sound like a cool chapter, just need bits fleshing out a bit thats all, especially distinguishing them from the DA themselves, although it can be difficult given the state of the current codex. good luck with your papers and studies brother, and looking forward to your work when you return

[Dosjetka]

suppose the way to describe you is more like a librarian - well thought with good intentions but often misunderstood. sorry if i offended you. :)

My goodness, I think you've found it. Nightrawen is actually a Librarian! Which is why he is in the Liber! :D

 

Oh, and Nightrawen, my post above the one above was not intended to be offensive, just in case it was taken that way :)

 

Ludovic

[Viray]

i'm just gonna throw my 2p worth in here. i thought about, at one point, changing my chapter's genetic line to another, but i decided against it. once i thought it over, i saw it as a challenge - can you do it? of course you can, it just needs a bit more thought is all.

I’m very grateful for the encouragement, and perseverance definitely has its merits, but one must also know one’s limits; in my case, I just may not be cut out for effectively writing about a DA successor with the themes I want to incorporate. But you’re right, brother: I should at least rise to the challenge one last time.

 

What I’m thinking about doing for the next update for this IA is “completing” the Aurora Knights in their current form while also providing a rough draft, or even several, detailing alternate routes I could take the Chapter in terms of gene line, origins, etc. If the “full version” still ends up unbelievable and indefensible, then I will graciously bow out from the ranks of the 1st Legion and look instead to the other versions I’ve been considering.

 

 

I love this quote. I really do. And I'm a bit worried, because I've got a feeling that this is exactly how I'd like my very own Astartes Chapter to be like. Ah well, I'll have to find something else then ^_^

The galaxy is a big place, brother. I see no reason why multiple Chapters of the 1000+ there are cannot have the same or similar ideologies. ;)

 

 

First part of the Origins sector has no faults in my view, but the second part did nag a bit. Let me explain...

I did refrain from comment of the "The St. Kotal Insurrection" because; How do you quell a rebellion? - I would say, it's through the removal of ringleaders, agitators and the like. So, the Captain in charge of strike force would go after enemy leadership and, by the way, capture the Fallen. No hesitation, no remorse.

 

But such 'solution' deals a killing blow to the rest of article. :)

And... that sucks. I can't believe I didn't notice those painfully obvious problems.

 

Thanks, guys, for pointing out those inconsistencies within the “Origins.” I blame the caffeine. :P

 

In all seriousness though, I’ll do my best to address them when I can.

 

 

The Home World section is good, but would be even better if there was a bit more detail added to it. I would have liked the Origins section and the Home World section to follow-up smoothly, but it is not mandatory and it still reads quite well. Oh, and I'm not sure about having Orks on the planet, but I don't really have the time to discuss that now, so I'll carry on and come back to it if need be later on.

Ah, the “Homeworld” section has been giving me fits for quite some time. To me, it’s just a really hard section to approach. I do have an inkling of an idea on what to do with it though, so hopefully next time it will at last mesh with the rest of the article.

 

 

I do agree with the various comments above that the Beliefs section should be longer and contain more, as it is the "soul" of every IA in my view. Not sure what you could add, but I doubt that you don't have anything to add.

I wholeheartedly agree (which is hard to believe, considering the evident lack of content in the “Beliefs” section :lol: ). As with “Homeworld,” I’ll definitely flesh this section out more. Like you said, I’ve more to say, I’m just at a loss at how to say it.

 

 

Hopefully you'll manage to finish your course work with little difficulty! Good luck with that!

good luck with your papers and studies brother, and looking forward to your work when you return

Thanks! I'll certainly be needing the extra luck. ^_^

 

(As an afterthought: Yes, the image of a Librarian is quite apt for NightrawenII, isn't it?

[Dosjetka]

I love this quote. I really do. And I'm a bit worried, because I've got a feeling that this is exactly how I'd like my very own Astartes Chapter to be like. Ah well, I'll have to find something else then :)

The galaxy is a big place, brother. I see no reason why multiple Chapters of the 1000+ there are cannot have the same or similar ideologies. ;)

I'll mull over it and see if something forms in the tiny thing I have as a brain ;)

 

Ludovic