A rough idea for an Index Astartes

[Dosjetka]

Hello all,

 

This is the outline for a Chapter that I'd like to develop. Rough ideas, but I need to put them down and if anyone would want to critique them, then please do so.

 

• Gene-Seed mutation which shuts down one of the two Space Marine hearts. Permanently. It is something I'd like to explore and my main reason for doing this is it gives me a way of flushing out some things that have happened recently. So this idea stays, even if people don't like it. I'd like it to be something central to my Chapter and I don't want them to replace that missing heart with anything. If more explanation is needed, I will provide it.
  
• Guilliman's gene-stock. I'd like to make a Chapter which is descended from the Ultramarines and to show that despite the apparent blandness that some seem to perceive of the gene-seed/Chapter, they can be interesting.
  
• Infantry-orientated Chapter. Maybe they have their Fortress-Monastery on a Hive World or on a planet covered by ruins, which would force them to use infantry more? And maybe Bikes?
  
• Interesting belief system where they are not sure of the Emperor's divinity. Maybe make them explore this concept? Basically, I'd call them agnostic, though I'm not sure if the term fits. Needs to be explored more.
  
• I would like them to be more different in character than in what equipment they have, etc.. so they won't have any extra TDA suits or a bigger fleet or some previously undiscovered STC vehicle. It doesn't make a Chapter more interesting in my view.
  

I do realise that I have attempted time and time again to create a Chapter, but this time (honestly), I feel a need to create this Chapter, due to certain events that have occurred in my RL.

 

Cheers for reading and helping out. C&C is greatly appreciated.

 

Ludovic

 

Edit: Something else I'd like to add is something that Viray has for his Chapter and I like the concept, I think it goes well with the feel of the Chapter and he gave me his permission to "copy" (it won't be copying in the end, I hope) his idea, I'll try and find a way to incorporate it. Here it is:

"Service is the greatest of disciplines for it humbles the spirit and purifies the heart; pride has no place in the Adeptus Astartes.”

[Ace Debonair]

I don't think I need to give you the disclaimer, do I? :lol:

 

[*]Gene-Seed mutation which shuts down one of the two Space Marine hearts. Permanently. It is something I'd like to explore and my main reason for doing this is it gives me a way of flushing out some things that have happened recently. So this idea stays, even if people don't like it. I'd like it to be something central to my Chapter and I don't want them to replace that missing heart with anything. If more explanation is needed, I will provide it.

 

So the idea is to create marines who are, technically, easier to kill, and presumably know it?

Me likey. Might make them a little more sympathetic to the Guard and other ordinary human forces, too.

 

...Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

 

[*]Guilliman's gene-stock. I'd like to make a Chapter which is descended from the Ultramarines and to show that despite the apparent blandness that some seem to perceive of the gene-seed/Chapter, they can be interesting.

 

Damn right!

They're already more interesting than Dorn's successors, who are always grumpy and stoic. :P

 

[*]Infantry-orientated Chapter. Maybe they have their Fortress-Monastery on a Hive World or on a planet covered by ruins, which would force them to use infantry more? And maybe Bikes?

 

I dunno about this one.

Surely if your marines only have one heart, and are more aware of their mortality, then they'd decide "you can never have too much heavy armour" and be a bit more liberal with the tanks?

 

[*]Interesting belief system where they are not sure of the Emperor's divinity. Maybe make them explore this concept? Basically, I'd call them agnostic, though I'm not sure if the term fits. Needs to be explored more.

 

Definitely plenty of room to play with this idea.

 

[*]I would like them to be more different in character than in what equipment they have, etc.. so they won't have any extra TDA suits or a bigger fleet or some previously undiscovered STC vehicle. It doesn't make a Chapter more interesting in my view.

 

I reckon every IA should strive to do this. EDIT: I cast thee out, typo!

Think of equipment and formation changes as seasoning; sure, it adds flavour to the chapter but it's hardly a meal all by itself!

 

This sounds like it could be quite an interesting Chapter!

I'll do my best to keep an eye on it. ^_^

[Dosjetka]

I don't think I need to give you the disclaimer, do I? :lol:

I think I've been here long enough and have posted enough drafts to know what to expect ;)

 

So the idea is to create marines who are, technically, easier to kill, and presumably know it?

Me likey. Might make them a little more sympathetic to the Guard and other ordinary human forces, too.

 

...Or have I got the wrong end of the stick?

Yes, easier to kill and they know it. But they refuse to see it as a weakness and bear the loss however they can.

 

Damn right!

They're already more interesting than Dorn's successors, who are always grumpy and stoic. :P

Grumpy and stoic? As if ;)

 

I dunno about this one.

Surely if your marines only have one heart, and are more aware of their mortality, then they'd decide "you can never have too much heavy armour" and be a bit more liberal with the tanks?

Maybe, but then maybe not. Not sure about this one. Maybe it's something I should keep for another Chapter?

 

Definitely plenty of room to play with this idea.

Any ideas?

 

I reckon every IA whould strive to do this.

Think of equipment and formation changes as seasoning; sure, it adds flavour to the chapter but it's hardly a meal all by itself!

Couldn't put it any better ^_^

 

This sounds like it could be quite an interesting Chapter!

I'll do my best to keep an eye on it. :P

I'm glad you like it and thanks for popping by!

 

Ludovic

[Captain Juan Juarez]

I reckon every IA whould strive to do this.

 

Should they? :lol:

[Aqui]

Hello all,

 

This is the outline for a Chapter that I'd like to develop. Rough ideas, but I need to put them down and if anyone would want to critique them, then please do so.

 

• Gene-Seed mutation which shuts down one of the two Space Marine hearts. Permanently. It is something I'd like to explore and my main reason for doing this is it gives me a way of flushing out some things that have happened recently. So this idea stays, even if people don't like it. I'd like it to be something central to my Chapter and I don't want them to replace that missing heart with anything. If more explanation is needed, I will provide it.

 
Whilst I have a few reservations about this (most other Chapters would replace this with an augmetic), but as you're concrete on them not doing this, then perhaps an explanation as to why they go on with just one heart.....perhaps they are, despite lacking the secondary heart, into genetic purity. As in, "despite the fact that we are missing one implant we will not sully our bodies with a replacement!" Perhaps their mindset is, that despite the setback they will soldier on as best they can with out it.
 

Guilliman's gene-stock. I'd like to make a Chapter which is descended from the Ultramarines and to show that despite the apparent blandness that some seem to perceive of the gene-seed/Chapter, they can be interesting.

 
It would be nice to see a DIY Ultra successor that "breaks the mold" in that regard. Too many a carbon copies, despite some official successors being anything but.
 

Infantry-orientated Chapter. Maybe they have their Fortress-Monastery on a Hive World or on a planet covered by ruins, which would force them to use infantry more? And maybe Bikes?

 
A Chapter's mindset is often shaped by the Planet they are based on, so I can't see why not :lol:
 

Interesting belief system where they are not sure of the Emperor's divinity. Maybe make them explore this concept? Basically, I'd call them agnostic, though I'm not sure if the term fits. Needs to be explored more.

 
Another interesting concept. Am mulling over a way for them to reach this belief. I don't have anything credible, but if you can crack this bit, then they really would be unusual regardless of anything else ^_^
 

I would like them to be more different in character than in what equipment they have, etc.. so they won't have any extra TDA suits or a bigger fleet or some previously undiscovered STC vehicle. It doesn't make a Chapter more interesting in my view.

 
Agreed.

 

I do realise that I have attempted time and time again to create a Chapter, but this time (honestly), I feel a need to create this Chapter, due to certain events that have occurred in my RL.

 

Cheers for reading and helping out. C&C is greatly appreciated.

 

I won't pry, but I tend to find writing about something can be very.... cathartic. It really helps me get things off my chest. Allowing things to build up is unhealthy (something that I wish I had known a few years back.)

 

I wish you well Brother :P

[Dosjetka]

Whilst I have a few reservations about this (most other Chapters would replace this with an augmetic), but as you're concrete on them not doing this, then perhaps an explanation as to why they go on with just one heart.....perhaps they are, despite lacking the secondary heart, into genetic purity. As in, "despite the fact that we are missing one implant we will not sully our bodies with a replacement!" Perhaps their mindset is, that despite the setback they will soldier on as best they can with out it.

That is quite a good idea. Cheers for that Aquilanus :P

 

It would be nice to see a DIY Ultra successor that "breaks the mold" in that regard. Too many a carbon copies, despite some official successors being anything but.

Agreed.

 

A Chapter's mindset is often shaped by the Planet they are based on, so I can't see why not :lol:

Will still have to think about it, as I'm quite torn between what you have said and what Ace has said.

 

Another interesting concept. Am mulling over a way for them to reach this belief. I don't have anything credible, but if you can crack this bit, then they really would be unusual regardless of anything else ^_^

I appreciate that you have given it some thought ;) And yes, I'll do my best to crack this.

 

Agreed.

I'm glad you do ;)

 

I won't pry, but I tend to find writing about something can be very.... cathartic. It really helps me get things off my chest. Allowing things to build up is unhealthy (something that I wish I had known a few years back.)

 

I wish you well Brother :P

Well, let's just say that this Chapter is the first one which reflects some of my way of thinking (the beliefs part) and it's also a way of getting something off my chest: my girlfriend has been diagnosed with some kind of heart disease/malfunction and they don't think she'll live longer than another two years or so. But she's refused to be treated as a sick patient and has refused to be operated, to stop school and to stop dancing (her passion). She is my main inspiration for this and it's my way of remembering her once she's gone as I suck at songwriting, poetry, painting or whatever other form of art you care to name. It's damn weird, but it seems to be the only idea I have for now, alongside spending all the time I can with her.

 

Anyway, sorry about that, I just wanted to explain why I chose the heart defect as a central theme to my Chapter.

 

And thank you for the kind words Aquilanus ;)

 

Ludovic

[NightrawenII]

Well, let's just say that this Chapter is the first one which reflects some of my way of thinking (the beliefs part) and it's also a way of getting something off my chest: my girlfriend has been diagnosed with some kind of heart disease/malfunction and they don't think she'll live longer than another two years or so. But she's refused to be treated as a sick patient and has refused to be operated, to stop school and to stop dancing (her passion). She is my main inspiration for this and it's my way of remembering her once she's gone as I suck at songwriting, poetry, painting or whatever other form of art you care to name. It's damn weird, but it seems to be the only idea I have for now, alongside spending all the time I can with her.

 

Anyway, sorry about that, I just wanted to explain why I chose the heart defect as a central theme to my Chapter.

 

And thank you for the kind words Aquilanus :)

 

Ludovic

Wow, that sucks. But knowing this, I would like to propose something a little different:

 

The gene-seed aberration shortens considerably marine's life. It could be a heart mutation, but I'm outside of my field of knowledge so I dunno how... Because the marines are running out of time, they are doing everything with unmatched zeal and fervour. Something like "What you can do tomorrow, do today."

Dreads are tricky question. I'm not sure. Maybe, "cheating death is cowardly or dishonourable"?

 

Because "We are all but glimpse in Long Night.", it's important to keep the memories of the Lost. The Chaplain take on this grim task, so they are more like librarians - not neccessary psykers, though - It's their duty to remember and preserve. The Chapter also often gathers to hear the tales of past heroes, glorious victories and sorrowful defeats.

 

Librarians = Oracles. The art of prognostication permeates entire Chapter and it's crucial in every decision made by masters of Chapter. I know, this is very silverskulls-esque, but you said Guilleman's gene-seed, didn't you? :huh:

---

I'm sorry, if this rubs salt in your wounds. It was not the intention.

 

 

~NightrawenII.

[Dosjetka]

I must thank you most greatly for your advice Nightrawen :)

 

The thing is, I don't mind zeal, but I would like them to be taciturn and resolute: accepting what has afflicted them and doing the best they can. Maybe a "cold" zeal then, unlike the zeal of the Fire Hawks? I'm not sure if that could work and I'm not sure if you can call it "cold zeal".

 

I guess that Dreads would only be reserved for senior members of the Chapter, who actually are worth something due to their immense knowledge of warfare. Maybe I could have Dreadnoughts teach the new recruits and make them guardians of the planet (ie. they never leave the planet and will defend it if it comes under attack)?

 

I like the thing about the Chaplains. The idea of having them as "storytellers" and "remembrancers" really appeals to me.

 

As for the Librarians, that's also quite a neat idea. I don't really mind it being slightly Silver Skulls-esque, but I don't want them to be an SS successor (specially due to the SS's more barbaric feel).

 

I'm sorry, if this rubs salt in your wounds. It was not the intention.

And do not worry, you have not done that and I thank you most greatly for your invaluable and creative input :)

 

Ludovic

[Ace Debonair]

Definitely plenty of room to play with this idea.

Any ideas?

 

Well, you can go anywhere from simply going along with the beliefs of any brother Astartes/local guard/Battle Sister/Inquisitors who you're fighting alongside, for purely diplomatic reasons, to genuinely trying to find examples that prove one way or the other if the Emperor is Man or God, and have endless debates back and forth, with marines of either opinion penning epic essays on the subject.

 

There's probably other options too, but I'm tired. :P

 

On another note; you could have the Chapter refuse to get fresh geneseed from the AdMech on the belief that the Emperor's will is that the Chapter should be 'closer to humanity' - more aware of the brevity and fragility of human life in the war-torn Imperium.

 

If you want to go the route that makes them more civilian-friendly marines like the Salamanders, that is.

 

I reckon every IA whould strive to do this.

 

Should they? ;)

Ugh. Sometimes I hate not having Word. :)

The crusade continues! :P

[Aqui]

Ugh. Sometimes I hate not having Word. :(

The crusade continues! :(

 

Perhaps Open office will turn the tide on the Typo menace, if you can't/won't use Word... ;)

[Ace Debonair]

Ugh. Sometimes I hate not having Word. :(

The crusade continues! ;)

 

Perhaps Open office will turn the tide on the Typo menace, if you can't/won't use Word... ;)

 

I'll beat them the old fashioned way, by typing free-style late at night and relying on everyone else to spot my mistakes. :(

 

To stay on topic, what sort of ruins were you picturing for the homeworld, Ludo? Collapsed, vast, once-proud cities with disintegrating former-factories and the flame-gutted shells of empty cathedrals to the Emperor? Isolated, crumbling fortresses of primitive stonework? Sprawling, archaic temple complexes fallen into disuse and mostly collapsed centuries ago?

 

I ask mostly because it randomly occured to me to ask, and also to stop the Crusade from derailing your thread. :P

[Viray]

[*]Gene-Seed mutation which shuts down one of the two Space Marine hearts. Permanently. It is something I'd like to explore and my main reason for doing this is it gives me a way of flushing out some things that have happened recently. So this idea stays, even if people don't like it. I'd like it to be something central to my Chapter and I don't want them to replace that missing heart with anything. If more explanation is needed, I will provide it.

In my opinion, this seems like a very captivating concept. I suppose there is just something inherently appealing about a theme of “overcoming hardship.” Aquilanus does raise a good point though: your Marines need a good reason why they won’t address this problem with the technology they have available. You could, as he suggested, use their beliefs as an explanation. Another route you could take is the exact opposite of this: using the mutation to shape their beliefs, e.g. the mutation has a certain trait that prevents its treatment, forcing your Chapter to either adjust themselves to this weakness or die out. Regardless, there’s plenty to work with here.

 

 

[*]Infantry-orientated Chapter. Maybe they have their Fortress-Monastery on a Hive World or on a planet covered by ruins, which would force them to use infantry more? And maybe Bikes?

I don’t think you have to use the physical traits of your Marines’ homeworld as a reason for being infantry based. From what I can gather from the character you are trying to build for your Chapter, their mentality on their mutation could already imply such a preference in combat.

 

What I mean is that your Chapter seems very proud. Not hubris, mind you, but dignity. Sort of like a boxer who, after getting knocked out, chooses to walk out of the ring on his own rather than be carried. As such, you could easily explain their battle practices like how the 4th ed Marine Codex explained the Chapter Trait “Flesh Over Steel”; it simply stems from the beliefs they subscribe to: their personality, if you will.

 

 

[*]Interesting belief system where they are not sure of the Emperor's divinity. Maybe make them explore this concept? Basically, I'd call them agnostic, though I'm not sure if the term fits. Needs to be explored more.

I think most Adeptus Astartes Chapters are atheistic. Regardless, an agnostic bent isn’t out of the question; far from it, actually. I can definitely see a Space Marine, a human transformed into a living weapon and thrust onto the worst battlefields imaginable, questioning the “rightness” of the universe.

 

 

I’m looking forward to what you come up with for a color scheme and Chapter symbol.

 

 

... my girlfriend has been diagnosed with some kind of heart disease/malfunction and they don't think she'll live longer than another two years or so. But she's refused to be treated as a sick patient and has refused to be operated, to stop school and to stop dancing (her passion). She is my main inspiration for this and it's my way of remembering her once she's gone as I suck at songwriting, poetry, painting or whatever other form of art you care to name. It's damn weird, but it seems to be the only idea I have for now, alongside spending all the time I can with her.

I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend. And to avoid possibly saying anything I shouldn’t, I’ll leave it at that.

[Arkangilos]

Maybe the planets ruins should be crumbling too. Like, only a few hundred years ago they were magnificent, flawless, and wonderful. But things have changed, the atmosphere has changed, and now they are falling apart. They are dying with the chapter.

 

OR, the chapter is rebuilding the ruins, making them better so that when the chapter is gone, they will be remembered.

 

Or they were collapsing at first, then the chapter began rebuilding them. Maybe one building or ruin at a time for each battle brother lost or something.

 

I don't know, I kind of like them doing all that they can do to be remembered "happily."

[NightrawenII]

I must thank you most greatly for your advice Nightrawen :)

 

The thing is, I don't mind zeal, but I would like them to be taciturn and resolute: accepting what has afflicted them and doing the best they can. Maybe a "cold" zeal then, unlike the zeal of the Fire Hawks? I'm not sure if that could work and I'm not sure if you can call it "cold zeal".

I get the "resolute"...

Resolute

 

adjective

1.

firmly resolved or determined; set in purpose or opinion.

2.

characterized by firmness and determination, as the temper, spirit, actions, etc.

 

Synonyms

1. firm, steadfast, fixed. See earnest . 2. unwavering, undaunted.

 

— adj

1. firm in purpose or belief; steadfast

2. characterized by resolution; determined: a resolute answer

But why "taciturn"?

Taciturn

 

adjective

1.

inclined to silence; reserved in speech; reluctant to join in conversation.

2.

dour, stern, and silent in expression and manner.

 

Synonyms

1. silent, uncommunicative, reticent, quiet.

 

— adj

habitually silent, reserved, or uncommunicative; not inclined to conversation

The Dark Angels are taciturn due the kindness in a odd way. They don't want you to bother yourself with their problems, they want to keep their problems in-da-house, so to speak. Similar to why some people refuse help, their problem is perceived as personal challenge or trial and accepting help will just diminish their effort and cheapen their success. - The important part is not the end of journey, but the journey itself.

 

To stay on topic, what sort of ruins were you picturing for the homeworld, Ludo? Collapsed, vast, once-proud cities with disintegrating former-factories and the flame-gutted shells of empty cathedrals to the Emperor? Isolated, crumbling fortresses of primitive stonework? Sprawling, archaic temple complexes fallen into disuse and mostly collapsed centuries ago?

 

I ask mostly because it randomly occured to me to ask, and also to stop the Crusade from derailing your thread. :P

For some reason, I see verdant world with hard-working, earnest and hardy people, while the marines maintain their vigil over them from a far.

 

[*]Interesting belief system where they are not sure of the Emperor's divinity. Maybe make them explore this concept? Basically, I'd call them agnostic, though I'm not sure if the term fits. Needs to be explored more.

I think most Adeptus Astartes Chapters are atheistic. Regardless, an agnostic bent isn’t out of the question; far from it, actually. I can definitely see a Space Marine, a human transformed into a living weapon and thrust onto the worst battlefields imaginable, questioning the “rightness” of the universe.

From Wikipedia:

Agnosticism is the view that the truth values of certain claims—especially claims about the existence or non-existence of any deity, but also other religious and metaphysical claims—are unknown or unknowable.

 

It could be, "I don't care if or how do you worship Emperor, as long as you follow the principles and ideals of His example.".

 

The Emperor was a man, who united and brought mankind out of age of darkness and ultimately sacrificed himself for the good of all. Whether he was divine or not is not that important.

 

 

~NightrawenII.

[Ace Debonair]

To stay on topic, what sort of ruins were you picturing for the homeworld, Ludo? Collapsed, vast, once-proud cities with disintegrating former-factories and the flame-gutted shells of empty cathedrals to the Emperor? Isolated, crumbling fortresses of primitive stonework? Sprawling, archaic temple complexes fallen into disuse and mostly collapsed centuries ago?

 

I ask mostly because it randomly occured to me to ask, and also to stop the Crusade from derailing your thread. ;)

For some reason, I see verdant world with hard-working, earnest and hardy people, while the marines maintain their vigil over them from a far.

Well, in his original post Ludovic mentioned a homeworld covered by ruins, and I just wondered if he meant the ruins of an advanced civilisation or a primitive one.

 

I totally agree that the role of distant, semi-mythical protectors would fit the chapter very nicely, though.

[NightrawenII]

To stay on topic, what sort of ruins were you picturing for the homeworld, Ludo? Collapsed, vast, once-proud cities with disintegrating former-factories and the flame-gutted shells of empty cathedrals to the Emperor? Isolated, crumbling fortresses of primitive stonework? Sprawling, archaic temple complexes fallen into disuse and mostly collapsed centuries ago?

 

I ask mostly because it randomly occured to me to ask, and also to stop the Crusade from derailing your thread. ;)

For some reason, I see verdant world with hard-working, earnest and hardy people, while the marines maintain their vigil over them from a far.

Well, in his original post Ludovic mentioned a homeworld covered by ruins, and I just wondered if he meant the ruins of an advanced civilisation or a primitive one.

 

I totally agree that the role of distant, semi-mythical protectors would fit the chapter very nicely, though.

He did...? Oops! ^_^

[Dosjetka]

First of all, thank you to all who posted in this thread up to now, it has been both helpful and much appreciated!

 

Anyway, back to the grindstone!

 

Ace: I've gone through your suggestions for the beliefs and to be honest none of the two really fit well with the image that I have of my Chapter. I'm guessing that the image of the Chapter for the reader isn't very clear, so I'll make an update later on today with more changes and additions.

 

As for the gene-seed refusal, I quite like the idea. And I believe it fits their character quite well, so thank you for that ;)

To stay on topic, what sort of ruins were you picturing for the homeworld, Ludo? Collapsed, vast, once-proud cities with disintegrating former-factories and the flame-gutted shells of empty cathedrals to the Emperor? Isolated, crumbling fortresses of primitive stonework? Sprawling, archaic temple complexes fallen into disuse and mostly collapsed centuries ago?

I didn't really think about that to be honest, though Nightrawen's idea (I'll quote him below) was quite a good one and again, I find that it fits the Chapter well. Oh, and I'm dropping the infantry-orientated idea, it's just something I may impose on myself while gaming and not in the fluff ;)

 

Viray: Cheers for popping by :) As for the reason why they don't replace their shut down heart, it is due to their beliefs and not vice-versa, though I appreciate that you took some time to think about it.

 

What I mean is that your Chapter seems very proud. Not hubris, mind you, but dignity. Sort of like a boxer who, after getting knocked out, chooses to walk out of the ring on his own rather than be carried. As such, you could easily explain their battle practices like how the 4th ed Marine Codex explained the Chapter Trait “Flesh Over Steel”; it simply stems from the beliefs they subscribe to: their personality, if you will.

I really like this however and I agree, they are quite a proud Chapter, but I don't want them to have any hubris. Service to the Emperor and Mankind is their sole duty and leaves no room for arrogance or hubris.

 

I can definitely see a Space Marine, a human transformed into a living weapon and thrust onto the worst battlefields imaginable, questioning the “rightness” of the universe.

I can definitely see a Space Marine doing this because it is how I am right now :P On a secondary note, this Chapter is turning out to be a very "personal" thing. Which maes it all the more interesting and captivating to me :)

 

I’m looking forward to what you come up with for a color scheme and Chapter symbol.

I'm looking forward too, but I think that for the moment, until I've got the core concepts down and cemented together, I'll just ignore the urge to spend time ont the painter, trying to find something ^_^

 

I’m sorry to hear about your girlfriend. And to avoid possibly saying anything I shouldn’t, I’ll leave it at that.

In my mind, there's nothing you shouldn't say, so if you feel like saying something, you can (though maybe do it via PM, as not to trail into off-topicness).

Telanicus: The "(re)building to remember" concept is definitely quite interesting. Maybe the corridors of their Fortress-Monastery is lined with statues of the fallen, with the time they lived for inscribed below on a plaque? In that way, the ones who have survived the longest are regarded with awe and greatly respected? Also, maybe those who are not battle-worthy any longer but who aren't completely incapacitated could sculpt these statues? Definitely something I'll think about!

Nightrawen: Why taciturn? Because I am perceived as taciturn by others, mostly people who don't know me. And I thought that they would be the type who would keep their mutation concealed and not talk about it to others. After all, why should they tell others and share their pain, when the pain they feel due to the defect is something they must live with? And yes, it is a challenge as it is much easier to give in to what afflicts you and try and remove it. But if you endure with the affliction, it can only make you stronger in both mind and body (though some may go mad... which is another twist that I could introduce into my Chapter! But don't worry, I won't make them Death Company or Wulfen-like ;)).

It could be, "I don't care if or how do you worship Emperor, as long as you follow the principles and ideals of His example.".

That seems like quite a good way of thinking for a Space Marine, though I wouldn't go as far as saying that they don't care. Maybe that's what they show, but in private, they still try and understand the universe and understand what their place is, etc.. Loken from the HH series comes to mind as an example of a Astartes of my Chapter, though I'm not sure if that's good...

 

Again, thanks to you all for your help and I'll have an update later on today (hopefully)!

 

Ludovic

[Ace Debonair]

Ace: I've gone through your suggestions for the beliefs and to be honest none of the two really fit well with the image that I have of my Chapter. I'm guessing that the image of the Chapter for the reader isn't very clear, so I'll make an update later on today with more changes and additions.

 

Never discount the fact that I can be astonishingly dense, random or plain off-target sometimes. ;)

 

When my crazy ideas don't fit the chapter, don't hesitate to ignore them! :)

[Dosjetka]

Never discount the fact that I can be astonishingly dense, random or plain off-target sometimes. ;)

 

When my crazy ideas don't fit the chapter, don't hesitate to ignore them! :)

Well, your crazy/off-target/dense/random comments and suggestions have mostly been helpful up to now, mostly due to the fact that I can better see who my chaps are, due to the fact that I take into consideration each suggestion and I try and see if it fits. So thank you for being so dense/complex/random ^_^

 

Oh, and I make a point of never ignoring what someone suggests. It's just rude and it doesn't help me in any way ;)

 

Ludovic

 

Edit: Gah, looks like the update will be for tomorrow, if I can find the time :D Sorry to those who were waiting for the update, if there even was anyone ;)

[Reyner]

This looks like a very interesting Chapter, I haven't seen another quite like it - others don't seem to go into the specifics of mutated geneseed, looking forward to the development. I'm sorry to hear about your girlfriend I can't imagine what that must be like <_<

[Dosjetka]

Origins:

• Early Founding (gives me time to make them develop their character at a comfortable pace)
  
• Not sure what else. I'll update this space whenever I do actually find something more to add!
  

 

Home World:

• A verdant world with hardy and honest people. Low tech Agri-World? Named Kotia.
  
• The Chapter maintains vigil from afar.
  
• There may be an area of the planet where the Chapter erects a statue every time an Astartes from its ranks dies as a way to remember the fallen and to honour them. Also shows their respect for those who built the Chapter and who lived on with their mutation, refusing to replace their missing heart and instead enduring the hardship afflicting them.
  

 

Recruitment & Gene-Seed:

• Recruited every X years/months. The aspirants must travel far and alone, only using their cunning, wits, strength and endurance to overcome the challenges that lie ahead. During the whole trial, the Astartes watch for potential aspirants from afar, only revealing themselves once the aspirant is deemed adequate enough for recruitment.
  
• The gene-seed of the Chapter has but one mutation: every single Astartes does not posess a secondary heart. This mutation from an unknown source first appeared around M??.
  
• The Chapter's Astartes refuse to replace their missing heart by a bionic or biological replacement, instead choosing to endure the affliction as best as they can. This has reshaped their beliefs, but not their way of making war.
  

 

Beliefs:

• Due to their missing heart, the Chapter has adopted some unique beliefs, habits and customs.
  
• One of those is their view towards Dreadnoughts. They are hardly ever used, due to the fact that the select few who are entombed within a sarcophagus take up the roles of defenders of the Chapter's home world, but also as teachers to the young aspirants of the Chapter. They rarely leave the Fortress-Monastery, but when they do, it is to act as support to the Scouts when out on a mission and some heavy support is needed (more about this in the Combat Doctrine section).
  
• The refusal of the Astartes to replace their missing hearts stems from a trait embedded into each of the Kotia's inhabitants from the youngest age: that of endurance and survival against all odds. All younglings are taught that however hard things may seem, one must make do with what is at their disposal and must continue their struggle, no matter what affliction they have to suffer. This belief is so strong amongst Kotia's population that it is something ingrained within the minds of every Astartes and has actually become a central part to the Chapter's beliefs.
  
• Due to this belief, the Chapter also views service to the Emperor and Mankind as the most important thing. Service shapes the minds and bodies of all and leaves little room for hubris, arrogance and such unhealthy thoughts and feelings.
  
• Also due to the fact that they are missing one of the most important Space Marine organs, the Astartes see a stronger link between themselves and the Emperor's Flock, making the Chapter more approachable and less disdainful towards the frailer humans. Also, the Chapter states that without humans, Space Marines would never exist and so respect is due to them too, not just to the Astartes (two-way respect).
  
• Another very important aspect of the Chapter's belief system is that of remembering the fallen who have served the Chapter and the Emperor for their whole lives, despite the mutation they suffer. After all, each being in the universe is just a small drop in the ocean of souls that is the galaxy and so on is easily forgotten. But those who have dedicated their lives to the Emperor must be remembered, be they human or Astartes. This is another trait that makes a relation between Astartes and Imperial humans a lot stronger.
  

 

Organisation:

• As a whole, the Chapter strictly adheres to the guidelines set down by the Codex Astartes. However, the roles of certain members of the Chapter has been slightly changed to better suit the needs and beliefs of the Chapter.
  
• Chaplains are not only the leaders of the Chapter's cult, but also the guardians of the Chapter's knowledge. They are skilled orators and they are those who recount the tales of past deeds and of the lives of various brothers of the Chapter and allies. They are extremely important to the Chapter and are respected by all. They are not above recounting tales about exploits performed by other Chapters or human allies who fought alongside the Chapter or who are deemed to be an example to be followed.
  
• Techmarines retain their roles as keepers of the Chapter Arsenal, but they are also skilled stonemasons who design and oversee the creation and erection of the statues of th fallen. They are equally respected, even if they must keep some secrets hidden due to their vows to the Mechanicus of Mars (may change this last part at a later date though).
  
• Librarians are still skilled psykers who can wreak havoc on the battlefield and destroy the enemy with but a thought. But those very skills are also employed by the Chapter to try and glimpse into the future to try and discern what could happen. Though it may seem futile to some, it is viewed as a vital practice and no force is dispatched before the Librarians have been consulted to see if such a thing is favourable (more on this soon).
  

 

Combat Doctrine:

• Mostly follow the advice given by the Codex Astartes (ie. remain as flexible as possible, be ready to redeploy at a moment's notice, be ready to face any enemy, etc...)
  
• Each commander is left the liberty of making whatever tactical decision he wants, after the deployment of the Astartes is allowed by the Librarians, but must face the consequences if their decisions cause a high loss of life, the faliure of the mission or any other similar occurence.
  

 

Battle-Cry:

• "Though afflicted, we continue to serve!"
  
• Or something like that.
  

 

* * * * * *

 

That's all for now folks. Feel free to tear it apart and critique it ;)

 

Reyner: I'm glad you like it and that it is unique in that sense :) And thank you for the kind words!

 

Ludovic

[Andrew J]

After reading through it I was thinking of some long stone stairway/road lined with the busts/statues of the fallen starting with oldest closest to the fortress monastery.

 

I really like the idea of a fatal geneseed flaw (and sorry to hear how the thought came about. I hope everything goes as well as possible for you and her!). Maybe to offset their geneseed flaw they are able to recruit slightly faster than most chapters because the population is very compatible? Also maybe the locals have contests of endurance for fun? Marathons, ironman sort of things, wrestling, mountain climbing where strength of will is required more than physical capacity. That could feed into your chapters beliefs.

 

Also what kind of cultural theme were you going to go with for Kotia? (BTW that immediately made me think of kodiak bears dont know if that would be a good way to go.) I was thinking maybe it could be a feral world covered in dense forests and mountains with soil not suitable for growing mass amounts of crops. The population is forced to survive with the bare minimum of food that they scrape together in small patches of land. Maybe hunting would be a central part of their daily life. I am thinking alaska type environment here to give you an idea if you like it and want to research more.

 

Finally what kind of name are you thinking?

 

Hope that helps.

[Dosjetka]

Hello there Andrew! Cheers for popping by :)

 

I'm not sure that I want a road going all the way to the Fortress-Monastery, but maybe a staircase that winds up mountainsides. That would be epic and graphically it would be imposing. Cheers for that!

 

Not sure about the quicker recruitment as I'm not sure that it really adds anything necessary. However, I do like the idea of having them have "games" and competing against each other in both physical and mental feats. Cool imagery too :)

 

Not sure what kind of a cultural theme I'm going for, but your idea of the Alaska-type environment is a good one. I'll have a snoop around for some pictures to get some ideas on how to describe the terrain properly. Again, thank you for the ideas!

 

As for the name, I'm not sure, but I may go with something "Astral". I first was thinking of taking the Titan Legion name the "Morning Stars", but I'm not sure if it's a good idea. Also, it's not very Astartes-like.

 

All in all, cheers for the ideas and the kind words :) It means a lot.

 

Ludovic

[Aqui]

A couple of things that occurred to me about what you posted in Post 21:

 

You say that potential recruits travel from far and wide.

 

That all fallen Brothers are remembered with a statue.

 

You also state that the Chapter is from an early Founding.

 

Fair enough points all. However, if the Chapter is an Early one (and to my mind "early" is going to be any Founding up to and including the 10th or so [my opinion only, but bear with me] ), that would mean that even with relatively minor casualties over the Millennia, that amounts to a hell of a lot of fallen Marines. The amount of land used would be very high indeed, especially if you do go with the Agri-world idea. Fertile land wouldn't be used in this way, unless there was an area that was useless.

 

An idea buzzing around in my head would be thus (and based [very loosely] on something that the Council of my Home town has actually used)

 

The Marines aren't remembered through the building of statues, but the laying of Flagstones. Why? Imagine, a road that leads up to the Fortress Monastery. A massive one, that runs for miles, and miles and is very wide. Each inscribed with the name of a fallen Marine, a list of their accomplishments, where they fell etc. Now imagine being a potential reccruit, having traveled a loooooong way, and is seriously tired, disheartened (pun not intended) and not wanting to go on. They see the road and start reading the inscriptions, with each step being more and more inspired, and more determined to carry on, the closer they get to the Monastery, the older the Flagstones, the more inspiring they get.

 

The entire Chapter, through the ages showing the potential recruit the legacy they have a chance to be part of. The Foundations of the Chapter laid bare, their history etc.

 

Not sure if that makes sense, but feel totally free to take or disregard :ph34r:

[Dosjetka]

Thank you for popping by Aquilanus :)

 

For the statue idea, you missed something in the post above yours, where I stated that I was thinking of doing a staircase. As I was imagining having a mountain range somewhere on the planet, with massive (Himalaya-like) mountains, I thought it would be great as it is a test of endurance and strength of will going up all of those stairs (and since there has been a fair amount of casualties, there would be a heck of a lot of stairs). But I do greatly appreciate your input (your point about farm-able land is a very valid point) and I may, instead of having statues all the time (these could be reserved for very important or particularly revered individuals), I could use your very good flagstone idea :) So each flagstone would be a step and the statues would be space out at regular intervals on the staircase to act as vigils over the new recruits.

 

I quite like that actually :)

 

Oh and just as a side note of why I don't want a road, it is because I don't find it very discreet and I do believe that the staircase as a final challenge is quite a good one ;)

 

Cheers,

 

Ludovic