Watey Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 hi guys, please give constructive criticism and ideas as this is my first DIY chapter and i have a lot to learn Name : Storm Angels Chapter Colours : Fenris Grey armour, Snot Green Trim, Boltgun metal Symbol : White lightning bolt, (similar to the WS but without the Red stripe behind) Geneseed : Jaghatai Khan (White Scars) Tactics : unlike the Hit and run tactics of the WS the Angels like to make the enemy have the upper hand and when the enemy is about to make the final push, the Angels hit them with everything they have, ultimate counter-attack strategy use alot of jump pack infantry to counterattack, and have heavy weapons and terminators to keep the enemy distracted long enough (not fully decided on this yet) Homeworld : None Fleet Based ship name : Eye Of Tempest use to have homeworld from which the Storm Angels recruited from before the Dark Eldar beat the planet and left nothing alive luckily all but half a company (which included a veteran commander) were away waging war with the greenskins. for this the Storm angels will try to destroy the Eldar and Greenskins at every oppertunity they can, even when they are fighting against other foes. this has created tension between the Imperium and the Storm Angels due to the Angels defying orders in order to appease their appetite for revenge (if the Imperium are fighting the orks or eldar, the Storm Angels Are 100% reliable to do their duty) (they are not going to be tribal like the WS, however they do mark their armour with a tally for the amount of victories) im not all out of ideas, however i would like your comments on if this seems like a plausible chapter thank you :) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Olis Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 hi guys, please give constructive criticism and ideas as this is my first DIY chapter and i have a lot to learn Don't worry, we'll be gentle. :ph34r: Chapter Colours : Fenris Grey armour, Snot Green Trim, Boltgun metal Symbol : White lightning bolt, (similar to the WS but without the Red stripe behind) You might want to rethink the colour of the lightning bolt if it's going to sit atop grey armour. That is, of course, unless it's going to have a black outline... Tactics : unlike the Hit and run tactics of the WS the Angels like to make the enemy have the upper hand and when the enemy is about to make the final push, the Angels hit them with everything they have, ultimate counter-attack strategy use alot of jump pack infantry to counterattack, and have heavy weapons and terminators to keep the enemy distracted long enough (not fully decided on this yet) You might want to at least rephrase the upper hand bit, as it is counterintuitive. Why let (or even make) the enemy have the upper hand? If they use jump pack infantry as the counterattacking force and utilise heavy weapons and terminators as a wall of power armour/firepower then surely the tactics would be more like 'hammer and anvil' strategies? Also, I think you'll need to consider the use of armour and it's role in such a strategy - would the more mobile units in rhinos and razorbacks join the assault infantry? Would the whirlwinds, the vindicators and the land raiders be a part of the 'anvil'? If so, why? If not, why not? These are things you'll have to explore and explain in the article, brother. :P use to have homeworld from which the Storm Angels recruited from before the Dark Eldar beat the planet and left nothing alive This needs rephrasing. Use of the word 'beat' isn't recommended as it is far too informal and conveys the wrong idea. You'll need to be a little more eloquent when writing passages like this, even if it only means not using crass words like 'beat'. luckily all but half a company (which included a veteran commander) were away waging war with the greenskins.for this the Storm angels will try to destroy the Eldar and Greenskins at every oppertunity they can, even when they are fighting against other foes. Why hate the greenskins? They just happened to be the foe that pre-occupied the half-company while their home was devastated, if anything they should be favouring combat with the Dark Eldar over combat with greenskins, as hatred can be a pretty single-minded emotion. I'd suggest dropping the orks from that bit as hating them for that event is pretty illogical. this has created tension between the Imperium and the Storm Angels due to the Angels defying orders in order to appease their appetite for revenge(if the Imperium are fighting the orks or eldar, the Storm Angels Are 100% reliable to do their duty) The bit in brackets isn't neccessary, really, unless the Storm Angels have a reputation for being unreliable (which is unlikely, but it's your IA). The rest is fine with me, it just needs a grammatical tweak to avoid word duplication. (they are not going to be tribal like the WS, however they do mark their armour with a tally for the amount of victories) Tallies, okay. I take it this might be a noticeable characteristic, yes? If it is, do they take trophies? Are they keen on honours? Hope this helps. :P Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3015261 Share on other sites More sharing options...
InquisitorHayn Posted March 13, 2012 Share Posted March 13, 2012 Welcome to the ranks, Brother! I love seeing a new White Scars successor. I find them to be terribly underdone. However, I would be careful of attempting to make a successor that bears no similarity to its parent. We've all done it because we all want to create something completely original, but be mindful of the benefits of lineage and history. That's all I'll say on that, though. This is your IA and anything that you can sufficiently explain is perfectly reasonable. When you go to writing the full description of your tactics, you may want to word it in such a way that your Marines specialize in ambush warfare, luring the enemy into a position of weakness (though the foe may not know it :ph34r: ). In its current state, it sounds kind of like they needlessly forgo defense until the enemy is at its strongest, hoping that they have the ability to reverse their own weakened position and beat the foe at its most powerful moment. I'm curious to see how you flesh out the tragedy of your Homeworld's loss. Typically speaking, the Dark Eldar do not fight in unified armies. While capable of laying waste to an undefended world, they more often venture from Commoragh as raiders and pirates, gathering slaves and resources before retreating back to the webway to avoid retribution. They win through cunning and surprise, not strength of arms or numerical superiority. Taking a Space Marine Homeworld with all its inherent orbital and surface-bound defences, even with only a small contingent of Marines, would be an extreme undertaking. That said, it's fiction. If you come up with a suitable method of conquest and a believable reason that the Dark Eldar would make the effort to organize a force capable of conquering the world, then, by all means, go ahead. My final concern is that your method of warfare, if ambush warfare is indeed what you choose, doesn't exactly fit the vengeful rage that you depict. Luring the enemy into ambush takes planning and forethought. Not something one can really accomplish running off mid-battle at the sight of the new enemy. There will need to be some reconciliation between these two concepts to create believability. Good luck and best wishes on your project! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3015278 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 14, 2012 Author Share Posted March 14, 2012 Firstly, thank you guys for the input, I am currently thinkin about making the greenskins the ones who destroyed the homeworld, and therefore hate the greenskins and fight them at every oppertunity (sp?). I am tryin to work my current force into the equation as on which have dark angel and black templar bits on, althought I might use a bit of Green stuff to make the robes and tabards look like tribal fur. I did mean the hammer and anvil tactic, I just couldn't think of the term Would it be better to have the force constantly advancing like an unstoppable grey storm Thank you for future input P.s. I apologise for using the bad word to describe what the eldar did to the homeworld Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3015522 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Do u make up ur own homeworlds name and where it is in the galaxy or do u pick a planet that is already there and "unoccupied" I don't know but for it to be a plausible chapter, one has to think that the planet is occupied by the emperors servants and is a known planet, so making a planet up and sayin it is such a place means that i have dissproved the imperial explorers and maps. Im confused Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017430 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Do u make up ur own homeworlds name and where it is in the galaxy or do u pick a planet that is already there and "unoccupied"I don't know but for it to be a plausible chapter, one has to think that the planet is occupied by the emperors servants and is a known planet, so making a planet up and sayin it is such a place means that i have dissproved the imperial explorers and maps. Im confused Not all planets occupied by the Emperor's servants are known to us. The Imperium has a million worlds, and the list of what we know is probably a thousand or so. You are fully in your rights to create your own world from scratch and consider it one of the Imperium's known worlds. Another way to put it is that it's just like the ability to create your own Chapter. The Imperium has a thousand Chapters, but the list of what we know is probably a hundred or so. You are fully in your rights to create your own Chapter from scratch and consider it one of the Imperium's known Chapters. The two points are the same. How about Tempest's Eye? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017451 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Im still in the stages of naming the chapters major ships, champions and homeworld, they are probably goin to be based around storms... Thanks for clearing the planet stuff up... I admit I need alot of help creating this chapter, and so far this is what i have set in concrete STORM ANGELS homeworld : Tempest IV (destroyed by Ork Waaaaagh!) Now Fleetbased - Flagship : Tempests Fury (or something like) White Scars successor chapter. Tactics : Enters battle fast, then constantly advances just like a unstoppable storm... The homeworld was constantly plagued by dangerous storms which is were the angels got there name. I need suggestions developing my back story and names for 5 companies of Storm angels. Thanks for future input Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017475 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 Stupid windows phone made a double post again, sorry :tu: Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017476 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew J Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 Wiki is your friend for names brother. Here is the wiki page for storms. There are many descriptive names as well as characteristics to consider as well. First that pops into my mind is gustfront, gale, tempestuous, fierce, etc. Help with backstory would come in the form of what founding you are thinking. Early? Late? What kind of characters are they? Tribal like the white scars? Codex adherent? Non Codex? If yes, why non codex? Those are some good starting points and if you havent already looked at the guide here it is. DIY GUIDE Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017506 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 16, 2012 Author Share Posted March 16, 2012 They are similarly tribal to the white scars but the major difference is that they have a single dreadnought that is their First chapter master who is just an advisor to the current chapter master... Chapter masters are called chieftains while the company sergeants are called War chiefs.... They do follow the codex to some extent. I however can't say much more as since i dont have a SM codex... Do the white scars have a codex?? Or do they follow the SM codex? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017518 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Andrew J Posted March 16, 2012 Share Posted March 16, 2012 White Scars Lexicanum That is pretty much all the info on them. The lexicanum is one of the better sources out there for basic information. Here is the one GW page I can remember. White Scars Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017532 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 17, 2012 Author Share Posted March 17, 2012 I would love to use a white scar army but can't paint white to save my life... Them 2 links are very helpful thank you I will tell u the story when I gain more knowledge of what is plausible. :confused: Are there any white scar novels out there?... I am currently near the end of the decent of angels n there's a small bit about them but nothin worth noticing Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017662 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted March 17, 2012 Share Posted March 17, 2012 Hunt for Voldorius and Savage Stars/Scars are the two I know of. For the life of me, I can't remember if the second one is stars or scars right now. As to your question about the Codex, in case you didn't read the links or find out through them, yes, they follow the Codex Astartes. Their only true deviation in the organization sense is the Master of the Hunt (can't recall the exact title, but I think that's it), in which an esteemed Captain goes on a personal crusade to hunt down one of the Chapter's most legendary foes. Tactically, they follow the Codex in all ways, though they have a strong preference for being highly mobile and brutal. Can't remember if they prefer close quarters or not, but I would assume so. I know that Tempestus is already taken for the Segmentum, but that'd be a great ship name. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3017709 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 18, 2012 Author Share Posted March 18, 2012 Will keep an eye out for them 2 novels.. yes ur right about the master of the hunt and I've been through the 2 links and that's the info I needed... They prefer to speed and wear their foe down with ranged attacks then go in for the kill.. tempestus has a nice ring to it but needs a name added to it like hells tempestus thinkin of a recon ship with a name like The Calm Before The Storm Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3018296 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Watey Posted March 20, 2012 Author Share Posted March 20, 2012 Is it only the white scars that can have bikes as troops with a commander on bike?? Or can any chapter do that?? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3020153 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Conn Eremon Posted March 21, 2012 Share Posted March 21, 2012 Is it only the white scars that can have bikes as troops with a commander on bike?? Or can any chapter do that?? The White Scars are just the most well-known of those to make extensive use of such tactics. They're your models, so what you paint or call your army is entirely up to you. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/248966-storm-angels-wip/#findComment-3020695 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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