Opinions of a new story idea

[Vexicus]

Hail Brothers and Sisters,

 

I have just finished re fitting my Veterans when they sparked the creative jucies in my brain and gave me a idea for a story. I have spent a little time writing out some character background and a setting and I was wondering what your opinions/thoughts are. Any ideas are welcome and critisism is just as important.

 

Plan for new DA Story (Title yet to be though up)

 

Characters

Space Marines

 

Brother Liberian Gestius

After being inducted into the inner circle Gestius became a very close and trusted friend to the Master of the 3rd Company Radzet. The two spent many battle fighting side by side both using their talents to try and outdo one another on the battle field. When Gestius was sent on a mission by the Chief Liberian Ezekiel to Tual VI he expected to find nothing there but barren wastes where the Orks had had their fun and moved on but what he found was the abnormally strong psychic Ork, Weird Boy Ooka. After Gestius’ command squad had been killed Gestius took some advice once given to him by Radzet “if a battle can not be won alone then find aid in that of your brother.

 

Veteran Squad Messiach

Brother Corat

Brother Corat is the former Veteran Sergeant of Tactical Squad Corat but after 3 of his squad where promoted to the rank of Veteran Sergeant following various noble and heroic deeds and the remaining Marine was re-assigned to another tactical squad, Corat was able to take his place among the 3rd Company Veteran Squad. With his beloved Power Fist Soul Splitter and his always ready Bolt Pistol, Corat is always willing to do what he can for the Chapter and the Emperor.

 

Brother Hadriel

Brother Hadriel was a member of the 4th Tactical Squad Kelith where he wielded the powerful Melta Gun. After his squad was all but killed Hadriel was given the honor being part of Veteran Squad Messiach and gifted the might Melta and Bolter in the form of his Combi-Bolter

 

Brother Ranum

After witnessing the deeds of Belial in the Black Crusade of Furion, Ranum found that a noble one on one combat can be won in both defense and offence. After being promoted to the Veteran Squad of the 3rd company Ranum was gifted a Combat Shield to serve as a reminder that defense can be the best offence.

 

Brother Irel

Along with Brother Hadriel, Irel fought in the battle that saw all but the two of them killed, but it was due to their actions that the wounded Master of the 9th company was able to be saved. After being reassigned to the Veteran Squad Irel has refused to give up his Bolter that served him on that dark day out of respect for his fallen brothers despite being offered many different weapons by his new brothers.

 

Brother Sirak

Sirak is the newest member of the 3rd company Veteran Squad. The former sergeant of the 2nd tactical squad, Sirak was given the honor of his promotion to the veteran squad after he bested a Tyranid Hive Tyrant in single combat. A swords man only second to Company Master Radzet Brother Sirak was not given the chance to change his weaponry from the Veterans armoury before being given his first mission with his new squad. So he will use the Chainsword that served him so well against the Hive Tyrant.

 

Razorback Valac

Razorback Valac has served Veteran Squad Messiach since Belial himself was a member of the 3rd company 2nd tactical squad. With hundreds of year’s service to its name and many victories it still remains an important part of the squads’ history and its future.

 

Orks

 

Warboss Dezmekka

Not much is known of Warboss Dezmekka, but from what Imperial records show he likes things that go bang and in his own words “Da fasta da betta if, it aint red den I don’t care”.

Weird Boy Ooka

Weird Boy Ooka has an unusually strong connection to the warp for an Ork and has shown the ability to control his power unlike many other weird boys encountered by the Imperium. Its is for this reason that Ooka is being hunted by Ezekiel and his Liberians as they fear that he may pose a significant threat to the safety of the Tual system and to any other Imperial world that Ooka may get close to.

 

Fallen

 

Ramiel

Usef

Maik

Not much is know of these 3 other than that they know the darkest secret of all.

 

Planet

Tual VI

 

Setting

Tual VI is a former Dark Angel recruitment world now held by Orks, its population killed or enslaved. Those unfortunate enough to still be alive are being mentally tortured by Weird Boy Ooka for the amusement of Warboss Dezmekka, all the while the Orks are building their forces for a bigger WAAAAGH! to take the rest of the system.

 

Veteran Squad Messiach is assigned to assist Gestius after his call for help is received. What the 6 space marines find on the planet will shake them to their very core as the veteran squad finds out the darkest secret of the Dark Angels.

 

So what do you think?

 

Cheers all

Vex

[Isiah]

Looks good Vexicus :(. Crack on I say :), give us more to get our teeth into.

 

Cheers

I