Brother Quintus of the Ultramarines

[maverike_prime]

So I guess this would be fan fiction. I'm gearing up for a Death Watch RPG and I've begun writting up the back story of my character. One thing the GM clarified for me is that in the time span this particular adventure occures, only the invasion of Macragge as occured thus far. So only Hive Fleet Behemoth has been encoutered. Leviathan, Kraken and the others have yet to appear though there are reports of possible tyranid actions elsewhere in the sector these remain as little more then unconfirmed reports. Anyway, I wanted to post the bio I've written up and seek some creative feedback from you guys. So here is the back story of Brother Quintus, recently seconded to the Death Watch from the Ultramarines.

 

I made an image of Quintus in Space Marine, both in Ultramarine colors and in Death Watch attire:

http://cdn.obsidianportal.com/assets/112246/2012-03-20_00001.jpg

And here is the miniature representation of Quintus:

http://i14.photobucket.com/albums/a316/maverike_prime/Warhammer/DSCN0162.jpg

 

Bio:

Born on the world of Prandium, Quintus showed his abilities at a young age competing in competitions of speed, stamina, and marksmanship, frequently besting boys 2 and 3 years his senior. His greatest rival became apparent when he was 8 and he took part in a week long challenge to cross the Northern mountain ranges. Quintus achieved a commanding lead early on, and pressed his advantage. On the second day of the challenge, Quintus found he had been passed by another 8 year old boy named Marcus. Quintus quickly redoubled his pace and quickly closed the gap with Marcus. The pair continued in the challenge for the next two days until the finish line was in sight. At break neck speeds the pair approached the finish line no clear winner in sight. It came down to the observers at the finish line to declare that Marcus the winner by only the slimmest of margins.

 

Marcus and Quintus again crossed paths a month later at an archery competition. As the competition drew to it

[greatcrusade08]

wow thats a very poignant BIO, the bonds of brotherhood formed from competition, very gladiator like.

itsa great take on the ties between super humans, i really like it.

 

the noble pledge at the end was a nice touch, really adds character to the BIO, nicely done