Blazing Heart Rocket Punch Pimp Magnet She-Wolf

[Bjorn Firewalker]

This is my Rule 63 version of the Catachan Wolves, an order based on a joke, as the Angry Marines are. Expect heresy to be exploited for laughs and giggles- or screams of pain and terror, depending on who you are.

St Katherine herself founded what is now known as the Order of the Blazing Heart Rocket Punch Pimp Magnet She-Wolf, as the Order of the Blazing Heart, on a death world whose natives impressed her with their faith. The natives maintained their belief in the Emperor's omnibenevolence, despite their own planet's apparent attempts to exterminate them.

 

The world was Catachan. Though successive Ecclesiarchs didn't dare question St Katherine's decision to honor the Emperor's people's faith, they did question the saint's sanity at the time of the order's founding.

 

As more Catachan natives joined the Order of the Blazing Heart, their beliefs began to... change this branch of the Order of the Fiery Heart. The sisters began hunting the death world's native beasts, as a form of combat training, immediately following the training sessions with barbecues and binge drinking. The sisters' "recreational activities"- their sex lives, a subject other orders' sisters didn't speak of, deeming it a private matter- became something to boast about, with much obscene language. Members of what was once the Sisters Repentia, dress and act like Imperial Guard scouts, instead of wearing rags and searching for martyrdom.

 

The Inquisition has investigated the order for the heresy of Slaanesh worship, but the sisters were deemed innocent of the charge, for demonstrating behavior more consistent with Khorne's worshippers- the interrogating inquisitor allegedly insulted the cannoness, who then broke the inquisitor's back, and shoved his head into his anus. Tensions rose between the order and several Imperial Guard regiments, after officers were overheard commenting the sisters should "get back to the kitchen," which the sisters interpreted it as an insult, and then offered to cook for the guardsmen- with flamers and melta weapons. Adeptus Mechanicus members have accused the order of techno-heresy, for openly using captured Tau vehicles and weapons- a charge the sisters deny, pointing out the "pimp paint job" and chrome accessories they use to... humanize the xenos technology.

 

Indeed, rather than use the sisters itself, the Ordo Hereticus offers their services as aid to Ordo Xenos members who lack Deathwatch support- allegedly to punish inquisitors who insult its members. Several Order of the Blazing Heart members were declared "saints" for valor in battle against the Emperor's enemies, but each nomination was controversial, due to the... saints' behavior off the battlefield. Most recently, the sisters negotiated a truce between the Space Wolves and the three orders the Ecclesiarchy sent to punish the Astartes for worshipping pagan gods, allegedly gaining the Space Wolves' compliance with sexual favors.

 

The Order of the Blazing Heart continues to thrive, gaining converts and winning battle honors on a hundred worlds. The Inquisition and the Ecclesiarchy's reason for allowing the sisters to live, was, in an Inquisitor Lord's words, "They're from Catachan. Anything from that world is a pain in the arse, and it's more trouble than it's worth to force a Catachan native to comply with more conservative norms."

[*Furyou Miko]

Ok, that one was actually funny.

 

"The're catachhans. More trouble than its worth."

 

Lol

[Brother-Captain Stacius]

This made me proper laugh! Love the idea of these seriously solid sisters smoking and sleeping around the universe!

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I think I'll have Acts of Faith work as they did in 3rd Edition, and allow the player to choose which act he wants to use. Comments?

The Order of the Blazing Heart is infamous for its "Liquid Faith"- their term for the binge drinking the sisters indulge in. Many members have augmetic livers, although the fervour with which the sisters fight, allows them to claim these were made necessary by war wounds, instead of alcoholism. The sisters claim the Emperor and His loyal Primarchs- Leman Russ in particular- guide their hands through Liquid Faith, allowing them to perform the following feats:

 

The Emperor's (Middle) Finger: Each sister counts as having power fists. Sisters with equivalent weapons, like eviscerators, count as having +2 strength.

 

Fires of Faith: Boltguns count as Assault 2, not Rapid Fire.

 

Defiance: Each sister gains D3 additional attacks in close combat, which count as Rending.

It's no coincidence these have the same effect as the "Gunslingers" and "Knife Fighters" specialist skills, from the Penal Legion Troopers entry in Codex: Imperial Guard. Members of the Order of the Blazing Heart make Pink look like Ms Goody Two-Shoes.

Spirit of the (Drunk) Martyr: Each sister gains a 4+ Invulnerable Save.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I'm thinking of beginning work on Codex: Blazing Heart Rocket Punch Pimp-Magnet She-Wolves, beginning with the fluff, i.e., why the Sisters and the Catachan Wolves Chapter recruit from the same source (noted here). I plan to give my Order Militant a Living Saint- the titular "She-Wolf," who wears a Wolf Helm (the Space Wolves gifted it to a Catachan Wolf in honor of his valor, and the Catachan Wolf gifted it to the Sister after she, in her own words, "fornicated him until his balls burst!")- a Canoness who wields the titular "Rocket Punch" (a power fist that can be used as a long-range weapon, like Arjac Rockfist's Foehammer), and a female techpriest to maintain the xeno technology.

 

The Living Saint (name pending- I'm thinking "Priscilla," after Priss Asagiri, or "Alice," after Milla Jovovich's character in Resident Evil) acts as the Order's commanding officer. Her equipment and stats will be similar to Saint Celestine's, with the addition of the Wolf Helm (name pending) and a bolt pistol. She is heterosexual, and unapologetically makes gay jokes about certain Sisters, who, in turn, joke about how "slutty" the Living Saint is.

 

The Canoness (name pending) acts as the Order's Sergeant Major (military terms are used because both women have Imperial Guard officers as fathers). Other than the fact she is a lesbian, I'm having trouble writing her background.

 

I sincerely welcome any ideas you have.

[Aqui]

The Living Saint (name pending- I'm thinking "Priscilla," after Priss Asagiri, or "Alice," after Milla Jovovich's character in Resident Evil) acts as the Order's commanding officer.

 

As a fan of BGC (mainly the '80's version than the later one), I thoroughly approve ^_^ and I had considered using it myself in the past, but it wasn't a name that I could get to "fit" right...

 

As long as you don't get her committing even more Tech-Heresy, by having a Semi-Autonomous Battleframe aka Motoslave ;)

 

The Canoness (name pending) acts as the Order's Sergeant Major (military terms are used because both women have Imperial Guard officers as fathers). Other than the fact she is a lesbian, I'm having trouble writing her background.

 

I sincerely welcome any ideas you have.

 

I've been using the names "Motoko" (as in "Major" Motoko Kusanagi), "Eiko" (A-ko Magami) and other Japanese/Anime inspired names in my SoB story (and eventually their DIY entry in the Liber Astartes when I get around to it <_< ), but I can't see why there can't be more than one ;)

 

I'll have a think and see if there isn't any others that might be suitable ^_^

[RookBartly]

I can't say too much. I have Yuuko Ichihara from xXxHOLIC as my Uriah Jacobus. And yes, her weapon is a red baseball bat with the Kanji on it...

[*Furyou Miko]

Eh, my first Canoness was Mirai, and her Palatine was Eve, because of the song "Mirai no Eve" ("Eve of the Future)".

 

Now I grab something that sounds appropriate and match it to something that sounds literary - for example, my current Canoness is Imelda (as in Imelda May) Ecrire (as in "Writing"). I also have Sister Indicia (as in "Index"), Sister Biblia (As in "Bible") and a couple of others.

 

>> Although for a while, I had Nanoha (Jump pack, Inferno Pistol and Power Weapon), Fate (Blessed Weapon and Bolt Pistol), Hayate (Celestine), and then a Dominion called Shamal, a Repentia called Vita, an Inquisitor called Zaphira and a Baneblade called Laevantine, complete with pink-haired female tank commander.

[TheLoneWolf]

Not sure if extra heretical or epic lulz.... = P

[*Furyou Miko]

Not sure if extra heretical or epic lulz.... = P

 

Let me solve this dilemma for you;

 

"Amusement is heresy."

 - Archdeacon Calvin XII of Ultramar Magna

[thade]

Members of the board raised concerns as to the nature of this topic, so I inviz'd it for a review period. After review by the mod team, we've determined that the topic is a bit too much on the objectionable side of things and is now closed.