IA Solvo Angelus 1.5

[Epistolary Exander]

Hi all.

Below is the updated version of my Blood Angels successor, based on the feedback I recieved from the original IA thread. For those who are Stargate fands the chapter was inspired by the SG1 episode "Learning Curve". Enjoy.

INDEX ASTARTES: SOLVO ANGELUS.

“You are scions of Sanguinius like Dante, Mephiston, Seth & all the other legendary sons of Sanguinius. You like all of us all carry the Primarch’s very essence within yourselves, while within us the flaw is slowing destroying us from within eradicating our noble lineage from the stars. Yet within you; you harbour our very salvation, our only chance to check the flaw’s ruinous advance. The nanites within your veins shall accept the visions of Sanguinius and instead of falling to the Black Rage, you will become as we were before the blight of Horus’s curse. You will literally be like our kin at our height during the Great Crusade and from this you will be the free angels; the Solvo Angelus!” Brother Corbulo christening the chapter at its founding ceremony

ORIGINS.

SOLVO ANGELUS MARINE.

At the close of the 41st Millennium the High Lords of the decaying Imperium know their realm is beset by enemies on all conceivable fronts & with this terrible burden they order the human kinds only hope for salvation; They order the number of mankind’s Angels of Death to be vastly increased and so the last & greatest founding of all the Adeptus Astartes is born, the 26th Founding.

As the Imperium swung into the colossal motion of siring dozens of chapters from the proven lines of Rogal Dorn & Roboute Guilliman, the High Lords of Terra were visited by an emissary of one of the first founding chapters. This person was none other than Brother Corbulo of the Blood Angels chapter. The exact reasons for Corbulo pilgrimage to the High Lords & what had transpired between himself and the High Lords is not known but it is believed that Corbulo travelled on Terra to petition the High Lords to be allowed to create a new chapter from of the sons of Sanguinius.

What Corbulo had to argue to the High Lords to convince them to wave the standing practice on not using the Blood Angels geneseed is not known, yet shortly after Corbulo departed Terra for Baal the High Lords decreed the Blood Angels amongst the latest tranche of chapters that would found a new chapter & that the planet of Putus 3 would be used as their latest progeny’s homeworld.

Corbulo arrived back at Baal to be greeted by a glorious armada of the best vessels and space marines from amongst the sons of Sanguinuis. For Dante had sent word for the muster to happen to aid with the creation of a chapter that would usher in the restoration of the lineage of Sanguinius to its prime. With the Angelic Host at his back Corbulo set to task over a number of years of creating the flawless host and in the process return the Solvo Angelus to mankind.

[clearfloat][/clearfloat]

HOMEWOLRD.

Even before the arrival of the Angelic Host to Putus 3 stood alone in the Imperium as no other planet is considered by the myriad of organisations to be unique for so many different reasons as Putus 3. To the administratum Putus 3 is a civilised world, exempt from normal tithes. To the Mechanicus Putus 3 is a source of foreign technology from before Old Night. To the gigantic Imperial war machine Putus 3 is the source of many wondrous vessels, combat systems and vehicles. Yet above all this to the common Imperial citizen Putus 3 is paradise free of the stagnant yoke of the Ecclessiarchy, for on Putus 3 any individual is free to pursue their own path to self betterment.

It was to this paradise that Corbulo brought the Angelic Host to give birth to the so called free Angels & in many respects Putus 3 is the very image of paradise, indeed the parallel’s between the planet & old Terra before the rise of humanity’s is striking to all who visit Putus 3. For the planet is population live easily within their means importing all the natural resources they need to craft their world & there goods for the Imperium. Therefore leaving the idyllic world untouched by the parasitic administratum, because of this the individuals of Putus 3 are free to pursue any vocation or path in life they choose.

The source of this living heaven is subtle but all empowering technology of nanites in which every human on Putus 3 is injected with from birth. Exactly how the nanites work is not known to the wider Imperium (much to the chargrin of the Mechanicum), but over the past millennia Imperial observers believe they have deduced vaguely how the nanites function.

As a person matures the nanites allow each citizen of Putus 3 to intuitively know any area of interest they pursue. This innate ability is later built upon as each individual goes on to choose to master a specific art out of the plethora of arts mankind has endeavored down upon the ages. This luxury of choice comes at a high price as every individual no matter their class or rank when they reach the age of 40 have their nanites harvested to be implanted into the next generation of Putus 3 population. This process is called the ovarium as an individual is giving the next generation of their society the precious power of collective knowledge.

Despite the great gift the ovarium undoubtedly is, it is also the ultimate sanction of Putus 3 society as the removal of the nanites leaves the individual’s little better than vegetables fit for use as servitors. For this reason any and all crime on Putus 3 is met only with a premature ovarium on the individuals involved upon where their nanites are destroyed in the hope that their behaviour will never be passed onto the wider population.

It is through the ovarium and the nanites that each generation of Putus 3 has flourished pursuing any and all knowledge passing it through the millennia, while using their prior kin to machine their lives and exports to maintain their enduring utopia. This is because anyone who has successfully underwent the ovarium will subsequently be turned into a servitor to fulfill any subscribed demand that is prevalent at the time, through this manour the citizens of Putus 3 have a never ending source of menial labour to expertly shape their livelihoods & their world around them.

Exactly how the Solvo Angelus utilise the nanites is not clear. It is believed that the chapter uses the nanites to access the memories latent in their geneseed to invoke the personalities of the long dead marines of the original pre-heresy legion. If this is the case the chapter would almost certainly not practice the ovarium on its marines, no matter how long their length of service. Instead the nanites of each Angel wouls be removed with progenoid glands by the Sanguinary Priests at the time of the Angel’s death. After this battle brother’s nanites would then be transferred and implanted amongst the Solvo Angelus ranks.

It is believed that the Solvo Angelus reserve the sanction of the premature ovarium to be used on those Fallen Angels who have trespassed against the Emperor’s laws. Quite what happens to the Fallen Angels who have lost their minds in this process is not known, but can only be imagined at.

BELIEFS.

From the limited patchy evidence of the Solvo Angelus little of certain can be gleamed regarded the chapter’s belief system but the evidence indicates that the Solvo Angelus see themselves as the heirs of Sanguinius & believe it is their duty to find their lost Primarch so that they can fully pursue the Great Crusade uniting humanity. For this reason the chapter’s brethren argue that Sanguinius is the Emperor’s favoured son as he had given Sanguinius the boon of flight with his divine wings, even more tellingly the incalculable gift of forsight exactly like the angels of ancient mythology.

The Solvo Angelus views of their fellow scions of Sanguinius is less clear as the chapter’s brethren have never referred to their kin by their names & have even refused to acknowledge they were sired by them when broached on the topic.

The magnetic seal on the door deactivated and the ornate iron door swung open to reveal a giant in golden armour worked to resemble the statues of antiquity. The giant’s exposed face was a mask of apprehension, which cracked into a small smile as he bestrode into the dimly lit room to see the figure in hunched meditation on the floor in the centre of the sumptuous room.

“The fighting around Ammonai is delicately poised & I’ve had to leave our brethren woefully exposed to best try to contain the Warp filth. I need to know when the rest of our kin shall arrive to carry the day, is there any fragment of the future you are not telling me old friend?” Dante queried.

“You speak of the free angels?” the priest replied without moving his position.

“Yes, none of our kin have had any contact from the Solvo Angelus in recent years.” Dante replied as he leant against the data terminal left of the door.

“That is to be expected; the Primarch’s scrolls are unambiguous, his true sons are not to share our destiny.” Corbulo replied, still not breaking his meditative posture.

“What do you mean?” Dante replied quizzically.

“They are the golden figure in the scrolls.” Dante cut in answering his own question before Corbulo could reply, his face the very image of an epiphany.

Finally Corbulo looks up at Dante with a look of deep resignation, uttering a single world “Indeed.”

COMBAT DOCTRINE.

The reports of the eye witness to the Solvo Angelus combat operations all report witnessing the golden angels descending on wings of flame to gracefully cut down their opponents from attack vectors in all 3 planes.

The reports also suggest that the chapter attacks with scores of marines in a non Codex Astartes fashion, which has raised questions in amongst some quarters where do the Solvo Angelus combat doctrine originate from?. It has been noted from by the same observers that the Solvo Angelus actions in their combat reports are virtually identical to the surviving reports of the actions of sires in the days before the Horus Heresy.

However there are those amongst academia who argue that reports indicate that the chapter has adopted and evolved the military science of Putus 3 for its own use. The combat philosophy of Putus 3 Imperial Guard regiments follow the practice of working the percentages of the enemy statistics against them. They aim to achieve this in all levels from their martial arts to the strategic level by positioning themselves in the best position that would avoid an opponents strike. While at the same time placing their own blows in places that would maximise the damage and increase the efficiency of resources against their foe.

The primary arguments against this observation is that the observations of the application of these tactics and strategies of the Putus 3 Imperial Guard formation’s behaviour appear very intermittent, while the Solvo Angelus are known to be very fluid in how they persecute their military actions. Yet the counter argument points out that the reports indicate that the chapter’s marines actions are following the same statistical methods as are employed by their Guardsmen cousins. Only that the Angels do this manner in a method that is gracious and beautiful to behold.

ORGANISATION.

At the inception of the chapter it is known that the Solvo Angelus had a typical layout according to Codex Astartes, but there have been increasing doubts raised over recent years as to whether chapter is still codex adherent. This is because the shipyards of Putus 3 that are dedicated to building the chapter’s naval assets have been in ceaseless operation since the chapter’s founding. The dockyards have produced a constant supply of classes of vessels not seen since before the Heresy, indeed perfect replicas of legendary pre-heresy vessels such as the Red Horizon, Epiphany, Ruby Lazarus, Misericord and the latest vessel to be observed on the construction cradles the Red Tear.

Quite why the Solvo Angelus are building each of these ships is not clear to wider Imperium as the chapter does not have appeared to suffered heavy losses of vessels supplied to the chapter since their founding. Yet reports received do suggest the chapter are utilising these reborn paradigms, as hosts of golden saviours are increasingly falling onto embattled worlds in an ever increasing bubble of planets in the surrounding sectors of Putus 3.

Coupled with this behaviour each year on Putus 3 tens of thousands of the best pupils are scoured from the prodigious military training academies of Putus 3 to be taken to the enormous chambers that house the hundreds of sanguination sarcophagi the chapter possesses. It is becoming apparent to a rising number of observers that the Solvo Angelus are attempting to rebuild the might of the hundred thousand strong Blood Angels legion.

If this is true then the Imperium would have to act swiftly to bring the chapter back into the line of the codex astartes before the Solvo Angelus are literally too powerful to challenged by the wider Imperium in this time of unending war on all fronts. However there is a counter argument amongst academia which states that the High Lords ordered the immense undertaking of the 26th Founding & in particular that the Emperor through the High Lords has granted Brother Corbulo’s request to re-sire the Blood Angels.

Yet the more pressing issue that surrounds the edges of all the debates concerning this issue is that even with the re-invigorated might of the Adeptus Astartes due to the size of the 26th Founding the Imperium’s slow demise has only increased. This turn of events is due to reports indicating dozens if not hundreds of chapters have expended themselves in vein crusades to roll back the Imperium to its borders of its zenith. The argument is that when faced with these facts is that if one world can apparently support an Astartes legion, which has stabilised hundreds of neighbouring planets. Then the Imperium can literally not afford to persecute such a chapter in current times, if anything the Imperium should encourage such efforts in other areas of its borders.

Tellingly which ever argument is true, ultimately it does not matter to the people of the ever increasing amount of worlds who the Solvo Angelus have visited to liberate them back into the Emperor’s enlightened fold as they are know under the guardianship of these "Golden Angels".

Pain lanced through his body originating from his right shoulder as he received another lightening blow from the lithe Eldar, its blade instantly shredding his golden pouldron and shattering the winged legion symbol into dozens of pieces. His innards froze as he lost his balance from the blow & he witnessed the eldar’s smile widen to its abhorrently pointy ears.

All around him his fellow survivors were being butchered for fun by these dark clad Eldar and to add to their plight his senses told him the remains of the Ruby Lazarus were raining down around the abattoir that was his position.

With a pirouette the assailant spun around unleashing a kick to his torso that sent him flying into the purple dirt metres from where he was previously standing. He lifted his head to see the eldar stalking upto him, finally the pain of the kick reached his mind causing him to temporarily black out.

When he came round his eyes widen with shock at the portrait his tortured eyes bring to him; the Eldar towering above him about to administer the coup de grace to him being launched over him by an eldritch cyan blast from a blue armoured figure bearing the iconography of the 13th Legion.

“Salutations Captain Ithimus, I am Chief Librarian Varro Tigurius and I am here to restore the Emperor’s Angels to him.” The librarian greeted the golden warrior lying on the floor before him, his left arm outstretched in offer of assistance. Cyan lightening still dancing around the gauntlet as all around them the legionnaires of the 13th legion were turning the scene into a slaughter house of the degenerate Eldar.

GENESEED.

Despite the guiding presence of Brother Corbulo during the chapter’s founding, it is believed that the geneseed used to sire the chapter originated not from the Blood Angels but from the Flesh Tearers chapter. The reason for this appears to be that in order to maximise the ability of the nanites to harness the properties of the pre-heresy Blood Angels Corbulo needed the Solvo Angelus to have the geneseed that was most prone to giving its bearer the visions of Sanguinius and this is widely known to be from the Flesh Tearers.

If this is true then it appears that the Chapter Master Gabriel Seth will have the last laugh at the flaw that is destroying his brotherhood as his curse is the gift of the redemption of his line and the sire to the greatest sons of Sanguinius in 10000 years.

It is still believed that the blood of Sanguinius is still carried within the veins of the Solvo Angelus Sanguinary Priests and the state of the chapter’s geneseed appears to stable as the Mechanicum has not released any data regarding the status of the chapter’s geneseed. Whether this is due to the chapter’s geneseed is more stable than their brethren or because the Solvo Angelus have failed to send its tithe of geneseed is currently not known.

From the narrow amount of sources it appears that Corbulo’s gambit has succeeded with the Solvo Angelus, as the usual observed behaviours associated with The Flaw are not present in the available material. Quite how the chapter has managed to find a cure to The Flaw is not specifically known. The Solvo Angelus could have repaired their degenerated geneseed or its nanites have altered its marines’ personalities to those of their Angelic forbearers thereby by passing The Flaw all together.

The reports handed over by Brother Corbulo himself to the Mechanicum after the chapter’s founding state the Solvo Angelus use the process of the insanguination to turn their recruits into space marines. Due to the sheer number of housing hundreds of sarcophagi, the Solvo Angelus have the capability to raise their numbers to levels reports indicate. As to why their brethren allowed the Solvo Angelus to keep so many invaluable sarcophagi after completion of their founding is not known as Brother Corbulo’s reports conveniently fails to mention how many sarcophagi the Solvo Angelus have at their disposal.

BATTLE CRY.

“Salvation lies within!”

Please feel free to critique ;).

Exander.

[TrashMan]

Oh...oh...where to begin?

 

I don't want to sound cruel, but I'm afraid I have to be.

While your writing style is excellent, your chapter reeks of heresy (read: Mary Suenes, tabu territory)

 

Conquering the flaw of the blood angels?

Referincing Dante and other characters hailing your chapter as pure, great and the best thing since sliced bread?

Your homeworld being a perfect bastion of freedom and arts?

 

Each one of those would be enogh to cause a storm of negativity on the Liber, if past is any indication.

 

Just a friendly heads up

[Madwolf Shadowmane]

I was drawn in by the statement, "the illusion of free angels". I read through the entire IA and I didn't perceive an illusion. They seem to be quite free, in fact you allude to them being so free that they could restart the Great Crusade on their own. I think that the illusion part would create a much stronger concept than the "My Chapter is the Super Blood Angels" theme you seem to currently have. Just my opinion.

 

Madwolf

[Epistolary Exander]

Thanks for your replies, I appreciate where you coming because I was trying to come get convey the behaviours the nanites have placed onto the marines of the chapter. I admit at any other time in Imperial history the Solvo Angelus would have been destroyed for multiple reasons.

 

What I was also trying to get across was that the nanites were controlling the marines, to the point where they lost their own personalities. The Solvo Angelus are literally slaves to the nanites (because of their unleashing of the latent memories within their geneseed), instead of the marines controlling the nanites like the populace of Putus 3 and because of this the Solvo Angelus are pretty much automatons. From the hint of the plurb of Fear to Tread I believe the pre Heresy Blood Angels had the Red Thirst and therefore the Solvo Angelus also have it...

 

I was using Dante and Corbulo to help show the continued tragedy of the line of Sanguinius, those chapters of the lineage know they are dying and the Solvo Angelus were their best hope during the Time of Ending to reverse this and it failed. The irony is that the BA dont know that their gambit has failed, I certainly dont think any of the BA cohorts would want to use the nanites when they have seen the affects it has had on the Solvo Angelus.

 

If you guys have any ideas of how I could improve the IA, I am open to feedback because I do have ideas ready for a 2.0 version which would take the Solvo Angelus away from the nanites being used in this manour.

[CKO]

Bare with me I am trying to give feedback to several people at once by reading 1 section at a time, so I have only read the origin section.

 

Would the Blood Angels risk telling the High Lords about their curse? I am sure they have minor details and records but I dont think they know the full extent of it. If Corbulo were to show up I could see thme gathering as much info as possible and then making a decision that could harm all of Sanguinius sons. I am not sure if Dante would allow something like that to happen. Besides the journey to Terra, the origin section is solid and it builds up suspense.

[TrashMan]

Just a FYI - memories and personalities are not stored in DNA. Of course, given the explanation for orks.....

[Epistolary Exander]

Just a FYI - memories and personalities are not stored in DNA. Of course, given the explanation for orks.....

 

So what causes the BA lineage marines to suffer the visions that cause the Black Rage and also what would cause the IF lineage marines to have the black visions that lead to a marine becoming the Emperor's Champion?

[PorridgeMeister]

Porridge here; I've taken some time to read the IA and am now going to make some recommendations or point out somethings that I'm not sure about, based on version 1.5 of the IA in question.

 

Origins :

- Why did you choose Corbulo? He might be the most important apothecary of the Blood Angels, but I would think that Dante would have to be the one to petition the High Lords, given his status as Chapter Master and the canon precedent of Azrael and the Disciples of Caliban. Source: Dark Angels 4th Edition.

- I would add some proper history to this section, explaining the founding of the Chapter in detail, and would move the relevant passages from other sections to here.

- I would like to point out the name of the Chapter actually means "Free Angel" rather than "Free Angels" - is this deliberate? If not, then may I recommend "Angels Solvo" or "Angeli Solvos"?

 

Homeworld:

- As Trashman has not so eloquently stated, your Chapter's homeworld seems a little too perfect and happy. There are billions of worlds in the Imperium, so I am fairly sure that the planet is not unique. Your homeworld seems a little out of place in this grimdark universe. Besides, claiming so many things makes it sound as if your Chapter's homeworld is superbly famous.

- Why do the Ecclesiarchy have no control over it? Please explain this in detail as this is quite a big step.

- Why would your Chapter recruit from this homeworld, if it is so perfect? It is unlikely to be a good source of recruits if there is a not challenging environment or if the homeworld is dedicated to so many different things. *ditto*

- Why by the Emperor's golden slippers would the humans be allowed to modify themselves this way with "nanites"? In the 40k universe, the Mechanicum considers the use of artificial intelligence heresy and as the world would have had to be surveyed by them, they would have purged it of those using nanites. Source: Various, namely the First Heretic.

- If that wasn't enough, there is a chance that they would have just been purged for deviating too much from the norm.

- Also, why do the salt-of-the-earth citizens have access to these devices? And how is it possible? Please explain.

 

Beliefs and Doctrine:

- Sanguinius is not a lost Primarch; he is quite clearly dead, as almost every source describing him or the last battle of the Horus Heresy will tell you.

- How do they know so much of the Great Crusade? If they did know that much, then surely they would know about the intended Imperial Truth that would turn perceptions of modern times upside down. Source: Horus Heresy media series.

- Also, I think that you are messing around far too much with the background of a First Founding Chapter in this article; you have basically stated that their main goal was to return to the glory of their time as a Legion and that they feel inferior to your brand new Chapter in every respect.

- "...are virtually identical to the surviving reports of the actions of sires in the days before the Horus Heresy.” What is the value and meaning of this statement? If you are trying to say how much they are like the pre-heresy Blood Angels, then your reader may have already got the point several times.

 

Organisation:

- Why would your Chapter be so keen to recreate these ancient ships?

- And how would they do all this in two-hundred years?

- If they are trying to recreate the Blood Angels Legion, they are going to get in serious trouble with the Adeptus Terra - as with the fluff precedent of the Astral Claws and the Badab War. This is because there will be a lot of scrutiny by the AT and the Mechanicum during the early years of their founding, what with them being the first successors of such a high profile Chapter in a long period of time.

- Also this is not in according with the "fluff" of 5th Edition Marine Codex, which tells us that the Blood Angels are aberrants who are dying out. If that is to be believed - which, for the record, I do not.

- Why do you include the supposition about them being able to challenge the whole Imperium? That is a bit irrelevant to mention, given how you have enumerated already their reflection of the Blood Angels before the HH - and as a result, they would be unlikely to turn traitor.

 

Gene-heritage:

- Your section about using the pre-heresy Blood Angels geneseed seems to make little sense. Why would they use that geneseed? And how would they get their hands on it? The only source I can think of this is the gene-banks of the Adeptus Terra and they would be unlikely to shell some out, if they had enough in the first place.

- How would they have cracked the gene-flaws without using the pre-HH Blood Angels geneseed anyway? There is no given explanation of this in your article, which I would suggest you explain in detail.

- How would they have swelled to Legion strength in just two-hundred years? They would have needed an absolutely astronomical amount of whatever geneseed they were using and a lot of progenoid glands. Not to mention the sheer amount of materiel needed for this kind of thing. Your homeworld would have to be a Forge World and a Hive World combined to have that kind of output for the Marines alone - what about all those ships you mentioned earlier and the vehicles for the "Chapter"?

 

Summary:

- Why are your Chapter such nostalgia buffs? What significance does this actually hold?

- How are they permitted to have such freedom on their homeworld?

- How do they get away with possessing themselves with artificial intelligence? And then to boot to do the same to the Marines?

- How did they achieve all of this in such a short time?

[TrashMan]

Just a FYI - memories and personalities are not stored in DNA. Of course, given the explanation for orks.....

 

So what causes the BA lineage marines to suffer the visions that cause the Black Rage and also what would cause the IF lineage marines to have the black visions that lead to a marine becoming the Emperor's Champion?

 

 

Who knows?

Visions don't equate persoanlity/memory transfer. Visions cna be caused by a LOT of things...including psykers, drugs, ghosts/spirits, etc...

 

Maybe Sanguinius contacts them from the beyond. How the hell should I know?

[Phoros]

- How would they have swelled to Legion strength in just two-hundred years? They would have needed an absolutely astronomical amount of whatever geneseed they were using and a lot of progenoid glands. Not to mention the sheer amount of materiel needed for this kind of thing. Your homeworld would have to be a Forge World and a Hive World combined to have that kind of output for the Marines alone - what about all those ships you mentioned earlier and the vehicles for the "Chapter"?

Expanding on this, you've made your chapter planet an IG homeworld as well, which doesn't seem viable. Especially with the huge numbers you seem to be using.

Honestly? A BA successor that is trying to emulate the pre-Heresy Blood Angels but failing could be a brilliant chapter concept, but as is, they seem like special snowflakes.

[InquisitorHayn]

Just a FYI - memories and personalities are not stored in DNA. Of course, given the explanation for orks.....

Just to clairfy, Trashman, this statement, while possibly true in the real world, does not necessarily remain so in the 40k universe. The Orks' learning cycle is not the only in-universe instance in which memory is suggested to be genetic. In fact, genetic memory is the basis for the function of the Omophagea, the Space Marine zygote organ that allows them to learn by eating the flesh of their enemies. According to the Lexicanum entry drawn from White Dwarf 98:

 

"Able to 'read' or absorb genetic material consumed by the marine, the omophagea transmits the gained information to the Marine's brain as a set of memories or experiences."

[TrashMan]

I always assumed those memoreis were gained by eating the BRAIN of a freshly slain enemy (before it starts to rot).

[PorridgeMeister]

Just a FYI - memories and personalities are not stored in DNA. Of course, given the explanation for orks.....

Just to clairfy, Trashman, this statement, while possibly true in the real world, does not necessarily remain so in the 40k universe. The Orks' learning cycle is not the only in-universe instance in which memory is suggested to be genetic. In fact, genetic memory is the basis for the function of the Omophagea, the Space Marine zygote organ that allows them to learn by eating the flesh of their enemies. According to the Lexicanum entry drawn from White Dwarf 98:

 

"Able to 'read' or absorb genetic material consumed by the marine, the omophagea transmits the gained information to the Marine's brain as a set of memories or experiences."

 

I always assumed those memories were gained by eating the BRAIN of a freshly slain enemy (before it starts to rot).

 

In this case, they would have to eat the brains or flesh of their own brothers to pass on their memories genetically.

[InquisitorHayn]

In this case, they would have to eat the brains or flesh of their own brothers to pass on their memories genetically.

The point, PorridgeMeister, was that there are multiple in-universe examples that suggest memories are encoded into the genes. The strongest evidence of this is the curse of Sanguinius. Regardless of how we may argue the point of its possibility or the method by which it is passed, it's been written into the official fluff and so we would be remiss to fault someone for using some form of it.

[Epistolary Exander]

Cheers for the feedback. I will make time over the next few days to give a proper reply to it all, but I doubt I will be adding full time zombies to the part time space vampires on the chapters CV :).

[Epistolary Exander]

Thanks for the feedback and your specific feed back ;).

 

Origins :

- Why did you choose Corbulo? He might be the most important apothecary of the Blood Angels, but I would think that Dante would have to be the one to petition the High Lords, given his status as Chapter Master and the canon precedent of Azrael and the Disciples of Caliban. Source: Dark Angels 4th Edition.

 

In the BA dex Corbulo is known to have access to scrolls containing the future left by Sanguinius to be used by the BA, so Corbulo created the Solvo Angelus based on his interpretation of those scrolls.

 

- I would add some proper history to this section, explaining the founding of the Chapter in detail, and would move the relevant passages from other sections to here.

 

Thanks for this but Im largely happy with how the IA is set out. I appreciate this is how you would set out your own IAs to suit your own style.

 

- I would like to point out the name of the Chapter actually means "Free Angel" rather than "Free Angels" - is this deliberate? If not, then may I recommend "Angels Solvo" or "Angeli Solvos"?

 

I was waiting for someone to pick up on this, I would change it but I think “Solvo Angelus” sounds cooler. Also on top of that virtually no one in 40K knows latin or to what it has involved into by then, for all we know “Solvo Angelus” does mean “Free Angels”.

 

Homeworld:

- As Trashman has not so eloquently stated, your Chapter's homeworld seems a little too perfect and happy. There are billions of worlds in the Imperium, so I am fairly sure that the planet is not unique. Your homeworld seems a little out of place in this grimdark universe. Besides, claiming so many things makes it sound as if your Chapter's homeworld is superbly famous.

 

Ive recognised I need to tone down the homeworld section, Im going to add more to the IA here to show the affects of the Solvo Angelus has had on the world. In affect it should be a microcosm of the wider affects of the 26th Founding has had on the Imperium.

 

- Why do the Ecclesiarchy have no control over it? Please explain this in detail as this is quite a big step.

 

Ive not specifically come up with a reason as to why the Ecclesiarchy have no control over the planet. You have to remember that the Imperium is a huge myriad place and so there are far too many ways this could have happened. From what ADB has said GW are trying to push how very divergent the Imperium is, Putus 3 is merely an aspect of this think I dont need to explain how this situation came about as it would detract from an already pretty lengthy IA.

 

- Why would your Chapter recruit from this homeworld, if it is so perfect? It is unlikely to be a good source of recruits if there is a not challenging environment or if the homeworld is dedicated to so many different things. *ditto*

 

You can say the same thing about Macragge and how the BA take poor malnourished children :).

 

- Why by the Emperor's golden slippers would the humans be allowed to modify themselves this way with "nanites"? In the 40k universe, the Mechanicum considers the use of artificial intelligence heresy and as the world would have had to be surveyed by them, they would have purged it of those using nanites. Source: Various, namely the First Heretic.

 

Ive not stated that the nanites are an artificial intelligence, if anything they are not. They are mainly used to pass on information to help allow the expedient progress of research etc within the population of Putus 3, as is the case of how the nanites were used within the SG1 episode “Learning Curve”. The use of nanites is part of the Putus 3 norms/ customs etc, there have been stranger customs in our own history. Look at the alternative to not using them, you are carted off to another of the millions of dystopias in the Imperium? Faced with that you would certainly not turn down the use of them if you could live in a utopia.

 

- If that wasn't enough, there is a chance that they would have just been purged for deviating too much from the norm.

 

Ive already answered this.

 

Certainly at any other point in the Imperium’s history the chapter would have been purged for how they are acting, but at this point the Imperium has far too many other threats going on within and without its borders to properly care about the chapter let alone challenge the Solvo Angelus. If anything the Imperium needs the chapter’s extra marines to help cling on for that tad bit longer .

 

- Also, why do the salt-of-the-earth citizens have access to these devices? And how is it possible? Please explain.

 

There is no salt of the earth citizens on Putus 3, it’s a utopia :). When you are that advanced and the population is under control, the technology is administered to everyone ;).

 

Beliefs and Doctrine:

- Sanguinius is not a lost Primarch; he is quite clearly dead, as almost every source describing him or the last battle of the Horus Heresy will tell you.

 

You try telling a marine who thinks he is living during the Great Crusade their Primarch is dead ;).

 

As Ive already said the nanites aren’t working as intended and so the only way they can comprehend the absence of Sanguinius is that he is literally missing.

 

- How do they know so much of the Great Crusade? If they did know that much, then surely they would know about the intended Imperial Truth that would turn perceptions of modern times upside down. Source: Horus Heresy media series.

 

This has already been covered in the thread but is supported by how the Alpha Legion access other individual's memories in Deliverance Lost and The Serpent Beneath.

 

- Also, I think that you are messing around far too much with the background of a First Founding Chapter in this article; you have basically stated that their main goal was to return to the glory of their time as a Legion and that they feel inferior to your brand new Chapter in every respect.

 

It can be interpreted that way, but the only person who’s view Ive given is Corbulo’s and he is already stated as being sour at what he believes is going to happen to his kin. Which Ive already tried to tie in with.

 

- "...are virtually identical to the surviving reports of the actions of sires in the days before the Horus Heresy.” What is the value and meaning of this statement? If you are trying to say how much they are like the pre-heresy Blood Angels, then your reader may have already got the point several times.

 

Point taken, but in the previous 1.0 thread it was stated that I had not given enough information regarding the chapter. This is probably a case of not being able to please everyone.

 

Organisation:

- Why would your Chapter be so keen to recreate these ancient ships?

 

They believe they are the original BA legion, they are going to want their own ships ;).

 

- And how would they do all this in two-hundred years?

 

The Solvo Angelus has access to the most advance planet in the Imperium, with the knowledge of the wonderous technologies of the Great Crusade. Its not impossible that they could do this. I will address this when I update the Home World section.

 

- If they are trying to recreate the Blood Angels Legion, they are going to get in serious trouble with the Adeptus Terra - as with the fluff precedent of the Astral Claws and the Badab War. This is because there will be a lot of scrutiny by the AT and the Mechanicum during the early years of their founding, what with them being the first successors of such a high profile Chapter in a long period of time.

 

I don’t think there will be that level of scrutiny, the Imperium is going through the End Times. Its got other things more pressing on its mind, which is why the High Lords ordered the 26th Founding in the first place.

 

- Also this is not in according with the "fluff" of 5th Edition Marine Codex, which tells us that the Blood Angels are aberrants who are dying out. If that is to be believed - which, for the record, I do not.

 

Maybe the Solvo Angelus is one of the reasons as to why the BA are dying out? Certainly the chapter took a lot of the prized assets (including marines) of the BA cohort. Its feasible that the BA cohort did not have time to recover these losses before being enthralled in humanity’s struggles.

 

- Why do you include the supposition about them being able to challenge the whole Imperium? That is a bit irrelevant to mention, given how you have enumerated already their reflection of the Blood Angels before the HH - and as a result, they would be unlikely to turn traitor.

 

I would more accurately say Ive put supposition as to how the Imperium would be hard pressed to challenge the chapter due the its current predicament.

 

Gene-heritage:- Your section about using the pre-heresy Blood Angels geneseed seems to make little sense. Why would they use that geneseed? And how would they get their hands on it? The only source I can think of this is the gene-banks of the Adeptus Terra and they would be unlikely to shell some out, if they had enough in the first place.

 

Ive made an effort in the IA to say that the Solvo Angelus geneseed is from the Flesh Tearers.

 

- How would they have cracked the gene-flaws without using the pre-HH Blood Angels geneseed anyway? There is no given explanation of this in your article, which I would suggest you explain in detail.

 

They haven’t cracked the geneseed flaws.

 

- How would they have swelled to Legion strength in just two-hundred years? They would have needed an absolutely astronomical amount of whatever geneseed they were using and a lot of progenoid glands. Not to mention the sheer amount of materiel needed for this kind of thing. Your homeworld would have to be a Forge World and a Hive World combined to have that kind of output for the Marines alone - what about all those ships you mentioned earlier and the vehicles for the "Chapter"?

 

As part of the standard process if founding a new chapter the admech would have made available enough geneseed for the creation of the 1100ish marines that make up a full strength chapter. Even with how the BA chapters store their geneseed in Sanguinary Priests the Admech must store the BA geneseed in a manor that allows them to check purity levels and if needed replicate for the use of founding a new chapter.

 

On top of this the BA still have the progenoid glands which mean each marine stores 2 copies of his own geneseed and each gland matures at either 5 or 10 years after the implantation of the black carapace or with the case of the BA when they leave the sarcophagi at the end of the insanguination process. The insanguination process takes only a year to turn a boy into one the finest looking space marines around. So you are looking at a time period of only 11 years in order to double the size of the geneseed stocks a BA chapter has available to it from this source.

 

Also there will likely be a process of increasing the amount of geneseed kept/ created by the Sanguinary priests so that a BA chapter can replenish the loss of geneseed when large numbers of SP die in battle etc, so that it would not affect the chapter’s ability to recruit new marines. If this process includes injecting geneseed from progenoid glands into marines to create a new SP is not known.

 

Coupled with these factors it is not unfeasible that the Solvo Angelus are able to recreate the hundreds of marines a year that their number of sarcophagi could allow. Taking allowances for the failures in the process, combat attrition etc I think the chapter would number around 30000-60000 marines. I do intend to write about affects of arming and equipping these extra marines when I update the IA ;).

 

In this case, they would have to eat the brains or flesh of their own brothers to pass on their memories genetically.

The point, PorridgeMeister, was that there are multiple in-universe examples that suggest memories are encoded into the genes. The strongest evidence of this is the curse of Sanguinius. Regardless of how we may argue the point of its possibility or the method by which it is passed, it's been written into the official fluff and so we would be remiss to fault someone for using some form of it.

 

As mentioned above I would point you towards how the Alpha legion in the HH series access memories from other people.

 

I hope this clarifies things ;).

 

Exander.

[Ace Debonair]

Before I begin, a disclaimer.

 

The following is going to come of as really, really harsh, because some of these ideas really don't look like they've been thought through.

It's not, however, intended as an attack on you in any way. My only intent is to help you get the best out of your writing, because a lot of imagination has clearly gone into this, and I think it can be better than it presently is.

 

OK, so on with the show.

 

*Dusts off post from version 1.0*

 

Corbulo & Dante would believe that as this is set in a slightly different Imperium. This is reflected in the size of the 26th founding, the size of the losses of marine chapters & how the golden figure in Sanguinius scrolls is now multiple individuals instead of one gold power armoured person.

 

Well, if it's set in your very own Imperium, then I can't actually offer any further advice.

 

Apart from some kind of disclaimer at the top of your IA will stop everyone else repeating what I've just said. :)

 

If the above is still true, you still need some kind of disclaimer atop your article.

 

If it's not true, then this chapter is partking way too heavily of the fruit of the Mary-Sue tree.

 

Coupled with these factors it is not unfeasible that the Solvo Angelus are able to recreate the hundreds of marines a year that their number of sarcophagi could allow. Taking allowances for the failures in the process, combat attrition etc I think the chapter would number around 30000-60000 marines. I do intend to write about affects of arming and equipping these extra marines when I update the IA :).

 

Thirty to Sixty Thousand marines in your Chapter. What. :)

 

See, if you're making up your own universe then you can bend the rules to justify the idea, but honestly, I don't know what sort of criticism people can give because you can just basically ignore the normal boundaries of the setting to suit yourself.

 

If you're trying to fit this into the actual 40k-verse now, though, let me tell you this idea is so far beyond implausible that it's just not worth the effort of justifying it.

 

I'd give more C&C, but since I don't know if you're writing your own 40k or trying to fit into the shared universe, it'd be a bit pointless right now. :)

 

Now, regardless of whether you're writing your own alternate universe or trying to fit your chapter into the regular 40k, let me give you one bit of advice: Shiny Toys and OTT Awesomeness do not equal an interesting Chapter. Character and personality equal an interesting Chapter.

 

Sadly, your Chapter as it stands has very little of either - they seem arrogant, presumably because everyone else loves them for some reason. And that's it. So my suggestion for future versions would be to minimize the name-dropping of all the famous characters and focus more on who the Solvo Angelus are.

 

 

Like I said at the top of the post, I'm really sorry if this comes across as just unrelenting harshness. It's certainly not just for the sake of being harsh!

[Epistolary Exander]

I appreciate where you are coming from, I have set the IA in the typical DIY manor of canon universe +1 (the Solvo Angelus) :rolleyes:.

[Ace Debonair]

I appreciate where you are coming from, I have set the IA in the typical DIY manor of canon universe +1 (the Solvo Angelus) :).

 

OK.

Once again I apologize for any undue harshness in my previous post, In hindsight think I was having a bad day and shouldn't really be putting that into my C&C. :P

 

So, do you want me to C&C this IA with regards to helping it fit in with the 'shared universe'?

I'll warn you beforehand, it's not likely to be a pretty sight, and will probably result in having to change quite a bit of the existing IA.

 

If you'd rather I don't get my teeth into the IA in this fashion, that's understandable and I'll leave it be. :P

[Epistolary Exander]

I appreciate where you are coming from, I have set the IA in the typical DIY manor of canon universe +1 (the Solvo Angelus) :).

 

OK.

Once again I apologize for any undue harshness in my previous post, In hindsight think I was having a bad day and shouldn't really be putting that into my C&C. :D

 

So, do you want me to C&C this IA with regards to helping it fit in with the 'shared universe'?

I'll warn you beforehand, it's not likely to be a pretty sight, and will probably result in having to change quite a bit of the existing IA.

 

If you'd rather I don't get my teeth into the IA in this fashion, that's understandable and I'll leave it be. :)

 

You having a bad day isnt really an excuse, if you werent in the right mind for posting on here maybe you should have avoided the forum.

 

By all means knock yourself out ;). If you make your case well enough I will probably do what you propose with the IA ;).

 

Exander.

[Ace Debonair]

You having a bad day isnt really an excuse, if you werent in the right mind for posting on here maybe you should have avoided the forum.

 

Agreed.

 

I'll take a looksie at your IA properly next time I get chance.

[Epistolary Exander]

You having a bad day isnt really an excuse, if you werent in the right mind for posting on here maybe you should have avoided the forum.

 

Agreed.

 

I'll take a looksie at your IA properly next time I get chance.

 

See something we can agree on ;).

 

Cheers, I will hold off the update until you have given your feedback ;).

[Ace Debonair]

OK.

As promised, here comes the C&C, primarily focused on highlighting where this chapter wouldn't fit into what we old Liberites call the '40k shared universe'.

 

As I previously warned, this isn't going to be pretty, but my sole mission is to help you evolve what you have here into something incredible.

 

You are scions of Sanguinius like Dante, Mephiston, Seth & all the other legendary sons of Sanguinius. You like all of us all carry the Primarch’s very essence within yourselves, while within us the flaw is slowing destroying us from within eradicating our noble lineage from the stars. Yet within you; you harbour our very salvation, our only chance to check the flaw’s ruinous advance. The nanites within your veins shall accept the visions of Sanguinius and instead of falling to the Black Rage, you will become as we were before the blight of Horus’s curse. You will literally be like our kin at our height during the Great Crusade and from this you will be the free angels; the Solvo Angelus![/b][/i]” Brother Corbulo christening the chapter at its founding ceremony

 

Octavulg said this so much more eloquently than I can, so:

 

Do not piggyback on the official

Your deep and abiding affection for Logan Grimnar and Dante is understandable. However, they did not personally drag your Chapter Master's wounded body from the fray after he saved their lives. Nor was Calgar your Chapter Master's mentor, or his secret godfather. Your chapter should stand on its own - dragging in official characters or organizations simply so your chapter can show off only makes it seem like you can't write interesting and exciting characters without relying on someone else's work.

 

GW has in the past produced several campaigns that your DIY Chapter could actually have participated in – the Thirteenth Black Crusade and the Third War for Armageddon most notably. Though your Chapter obviously can have participated in these events, you should be careful to not draw attention to them particularly – do not mention them as too important, and ensure that you also mention other events they have participated in so that this example is not the focus. Personally, I feel it's bad form to claim your Chapter was present at campaigns you did not participate in, but that's a more personal caveat.

 

This is part of the issue, really.

If the Blood Angels, heirs of Sanguinius and inheritors of his curse, think your Chapter will be super-special-awesome and save the galaxy, why does nothing official ever mention the Solvo Angelus?

 

There's never been anything to suggest that the Blood Angels don't think they're really Sanguinius' true heirs, either.

 

On top of that, there is no sensible explanation as for why the Blood Angels - who have been looking for a cure for the Black Rage for a long time - wouldn't just take recruits from Putus 3 themselves, and become the legendary figures from whatever prophecy and Sanguinius' real sons.

 

Or take the nanites from the Putus 3 by force, in fact.

 

And besides all this, what you're actually doing all this for, as best I can tell, is to take away the Curse from the SA, which is the most interesting thing about the Blood Angels and their kin.

 

The net effect is that all the intercessions by Corbulo and company only take away personality from your Chapter. Since personality is what makes a Chapter cool, this is to the detriment of your work.

With the Angelic Host at his back Corbulo set to task over a number of years of creating the flawless host and in the process return the Solvo Angelus to mankind.

Return? ;)

Even before the arrival of the Angelic Host to Putus 3 stood alone in the Imperium as no other planet is considered by the myriad of organisations to be unique for so many different reasons as Putus 3. To the administratum Putus 3 is a civilised world, exempt from normal tithes.

Why?

To the Mechanicus Putus 3 is a source of foreign technology from before Old Night.

The AdMech would be all over this place before your marines (from the most recent Founding) were even around, surely.

Yet above all this to the common Imperial citizen Putus 3 is paradise free of the stagnant yoke of the Ecclessiarchy, for on Putus 3 any individual is free to pursue their own path to self betterment.

You know, the average citizen doesn't see the Ecclesiarchy's decrees as a 'stagnant yoke'.

I realise your Chapter might (for whatever reason) but since this sentence is describing how it appears to the average joe imperial civilian, it's an odd thing to say.

The source of this living heaven is subtle but all empowering technology of nanites in which every human on Putus 3 is injected with from birth. Exactly how the nanites work is not known to the wider Imperium (much to the chargrin of the Mechanicum), but over the past millennia Imperial observers believe they have deduced vaguely how the nanites function.

No, really. Whoever found this place would totally have told the AdMech about it, and they'd be all over it.

As a person matures the nanites allow each citizen of Putus 3 to intuitively know any area of interest they pursue. This innate ability is later built upon as each individual goes on to choose to master a specific art out of the plethora of arts mankind has endeavored down upon the ages. This luxury of choice comes at a high price as every individual no matter their class or rank when they reach the age of 40 have their nanites harvested to be implanted into the next generation of Putus 3 population. This process is called the ovarium as an individual is giving the next generation of their society the precious power of collective knowledge.

I really, really like the nasty twist, but I'm still not sold on the plausibility of the nanites.

Exactly how the Solvo Angelus utilise the nanites is not clear. It is believed that the chapter uses the nanites to access the memories latent in their geneseed to invoke the personalities of the long dead marines of the original pre-heresy legion. If this is the case the chapter would almost certainly not practice the ovarium on its marines, no matter how long their length of service. Instead the nanites of each Angel wouls be removed with progenoid glands by the Sanguinary Priests at the time of the Angel’s death. After this battle brother’s nanites would then be transferred and implanted amongst the Solvo Angelus ranks.

Exactly how they got them in the first place and why they didn't at least share with the Blood Angels is equally unclear. :P

From the limited patchy evidence of the Solvo Angelus little of certain can be gleamed regarded the chapter’s belief system but the evidence indicates that the Solvo Angelus see themselves as the heirs of Sanguinius & believe it is their duty to find their lost Primarch so that they can fully pursue the Great Crusade uniting humanity. For this reason the chapter’s brethren argue that Sanguinius is the Emperor’s favoured son as he had given Sanguinius the boon of flight with his divine wings, even more tellingly the incalculable gift of forsight exactly like the angels of ancient mythology.

Limited evidence?

Later on you have people bickering about their numbers and referencing the ships they have. That doesn't sound like limited evidence.

 

Also, Sanguinius is kind of, you know, dead, which makes him a pretty tough guy to recover.

The Solvo Angelus views of their fellow scions of Sanguinius is less clear as the chapter’s brethren have never referred to their kin by their names & have even refused to acknowledge they were sired by them when broached on the topic.

Ooooh, nice.

This gives me ideas, I'll discuss them at the end of the post.

However there are those amongst academia who argue that reports indicate that the chapter has adopted and evolved the military science of Putus 3 for its own use. The combat philosophy of Putus 3 Imperial Guard regiments follow the practice of working the percentages of the enemy statistics against them.

I have no idea what you mean here.

The primary arguments against this observation is that the observations of the application of these tactics and strategies of the Putus 3 Imperial Guard formation’s behaviour appear very intermittent, while the Solvo Angelus are known to be very fluid in how they persecute their military actions. Yet the counter argument points out that the reports indicate that the chapter’s marines actions are following the same statistical methods as are employed by their Guardsmen cousins. Only that the Angels do this manner in a method that is gracious and beautiful to behold.

I'm confused.

 

If you have an imperial guard regiment, then people are clearly going off and dying in droves, because that's what guardsmen do.

 

Then you have, presumably, a limited amount of nanites, hence people being made into vegetables and servitors and so forth at 40.

So how the heck are there even any nanites left on Putus 3? Or, why don't they scrap the guard regiment and let people live longer back home?

 

On top of that, personal Imperial Guard Regiments for chapters is an in-universe no-no. Seperation of Powers and all that business from after the heresy, to prevent any one individual wielding the power of a legion.

This is because the shipyards of Putus 3 that are dedicated to building the chapter’s naval assets have been in ceaseless operation since the chapter’s founding. The dockyards have produced a constant supply of classes of vessels not seen since before the Heresy, indeed perfect replicas of legendary pre-heresy vessels such as the Red Horizon, Epiphany, Ruby Lazarus, Misericord and the latest vessel to be observed on the construction cradles the Red Tear.

 

Alright, I motion that your super-perfect, can-do-everything homeworld needs to be renamed Mary-Suetus 3.

Seriously, it's a forgeworld paradise that produces space marine-worthy recruits.

 

On top of everything else, there is no way another chapter (or the AdMech!) wouldn't have moved on in here here before the most recent founding.

Coupled with this behaviour each year on Putus 3 tens of thousands of the best pupils are scoured from the prodigious military training academies of Putus 3 to be taken to the enormous chambers that house the hundreds of sanguination sarcophagi the chapter possesses. It is becoming apparent to a rising number of observers that the Solvo Angelus are attempting to rebuild the might of the hundred thousand strong Blood Angels legion.

 

And then everyone else in the Imperium is going to drop on them like an incalculably large amount of firepower.

The whole point of breaking up the legions was so that never again could so much power be so easily corrupted, and breaking that agreement is going to get your lads excommunicated and hunted down.

 

The Black Templars get away with about 6000-ish because they're all over the galaxy, spread thinly. Your lads are sat around a fixed location, so there really is no hiding those numbers.

If this is true then the Imperium would have to act swiftly to bring the chapter back into the line of the codex astartes before the Solvo Angelus are literally too powerful to challenged by the wider Imperium in this time of unending war on all fronts. However there is a counter argument amongst academia which states that the High Lords ordered the immense undertaking of the 26th Founding & in particular that the Emperor through the High Lords has granted Brother Corbulo’s request to re-sire the Blood Angels.

Hmm. I wouldn't bet too heavily on that one.

 

Nine Chaos Legions weren't too powerful for the Imperium to stop. One loyalist one just isn't going to make the same impact.

 

With regards to the second highlighted section, you need to stop talking about stuff you haven't explained like you've explained it. It doesn't read well.

 

Also, what possible explanation could there be for Corbulo wanting to replace the Blood Angels legion with one of their successors instead of just taking the nanites by force?

The argument is that when faced with these facts is that if one world can apparently support an Astartes legion, which has stabilised hundreds of neighbouring planets. Then the Imperium can literally not afford to persecute such a chapter in current times, if anything the Imperium should encourage such efforts in other areas of its borders.

But the Imperium doesn't think that way. In the Imperium, Different=Bad, and this is most certainly too different.

“Salutations Captain Ithimus, I am Chief Librarian Varro Tigurius and I am here to restore the Emperor’s Angels to him.” The librarian greeted the golden warrior lying on the floor before him, his left arm outstretched in offer of assistance. Cyan lightening still dancing around the gauntlet as all around them the legionnaires of the 13th legion were turning the scene into a slaughter house of the degenerate Eldar.

Octavulg's words from earlier still ring in my ears whenever I read this bit.

From the narrow amount of sources it appears that Corbulo’s gambit has succeeded with the Solvo Angelus, as the usual observed behaviours associated with The Flaw are not present in the available material. Quite how the chapter has managed to find a cure to The Flaw is not specifically known. The Solvo Angelus could have repaired their degenerated geneseed or its nanites have altered its marines’ personalities to those of their Angelic forbearers thereby by passing The Flaw all together.

I really, really don't get why they haven't cured all of the BA and their successors, then.

 

-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-

 

I really, really don't get what you want from this Chapter.

As far as I can tell the Solvo Angelus want to be a less interesting Blood Angels Legion in the 40k era.

 

There's about 3,000 words here, and most of them are spent on either name-dropping and altering the mentality of Games Workshop's canon characters, or giving your Chapter the best of everything - it's own paradise forgeworld, it's own guard regiment, numbers almost a hundred times that of any other chapter, and on top of that they're meant to somehow be closer to Sanguinius than the Blood Angels.

 

Cut all the shiny toys and bizarre 'Blood Angels +' stuff away, and there's maybe two bits that give me the impression of personality, and both of them make me think the Solvo Angelus have their heads up their own rear-ends.

 

This is not neccesarily a bad thing. Really arrogant chapters can be awesome.

One problem, however, is that everyone else seems to have a much higher opinion of them for doing, apparently, what any other chapter does or ignoring the setting's rules, like the decree about the seperation of powers. These, along with the 'Canon Chapter but better' stuff, are classic traits of a Mary-Sue character, or in this case a Mary-Sue Chapter.

 

Now. I realise I've basically said 'scrap it all and start over', and I know how horrible it is when people do that - it happened to me with my Stonebound the first time 'round. But I also know my work on that Chapter benefitted enormously from following that advice.

 

My suggestion for starting over, and the idea I had earlier, would be to take the idea that the Solvo Angelus think they alone are the true heirs of Sanguinius and awesome beyond all others, and go crazy with it. They can make up all sorts of crazy legends about their early years, like the stuff about being called the true heirs of Sanguinius by the Blood Angels and being founded only because their Primogenitor Legion pleaded for the existence of the Solvo Angelus. Even the stuff about the nanites 'exclusive to Putus 3' and overcoming the black rage could just be stuff made up by the Chapter to seem more important - in reality they could just execute anyone who falls to the black rage, and the reason nobody has gone to the AdMech about the nanites is that they don't really exist, for example.

 

That said, I have no idea if you want a Chapter like that or not. I don't know what the goal was with this Chapter, really.

 

So, before you set out on any re-writes or updates, I have to ask you: What is your goal with this IA? What is the key thing you want above all else for this chapter?

 

 

Oh, also, if you want to read more of Octavulg's guide (the dude knows his stuff!) search for the Octaguide. It's a very entertaining and enlightening read! ;)

 

EDIT:

Typos. Damnable, damnable typos.

[Phoros]

'Fraid I've got to agree with everything that Ace has said, here. As I mentioned earlier in the thread, I think that the idea of a chapter that tries to live up to the standards of the old legion, but is failing terribly, would work well. Maybe they kill off anybody who suffers the Rage, like Ace suggested? Maybe they tried accelerating the induction process to increase their numbers to legion strength, but have merely caused geneseed decay as a result? Maybe they spend ages studying the Legion's fighting style, to their detriment in combat, as they refuse to alter it for specific foes? From your comments you seem to have been getting at the idea that they're not as good as they seem, but I think that that really needs to be played up.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

I would like to chip in, here. First of, I want to say that the concept of 'illusion of freedom' maed me think traitor, but then when I saw they were a BA successor it made me think it was going to be a case of they think they cured the Black Rage, but in reality it is even worse....

 

Now, I agree with the previous posters about the 'Mary Sue' character of the Chapter, but I feel this has been more eloquently expressed by Ace.

 

I will focus on your homeworld section, as up until this point, i was enjoying the read and, importantly, was convinced such a chapter could exist.

 

Now, for the Homeworld, my immediate problem is the so-called unique status. No, there are plenty of other, Terra-like civilised worlds out there. Heaps of them in fact, we just hardly hear about them cause Hives are so much cooler.

 

As for the Administratum not collecting tithes, sorry, but there are only 3 types of worlds that do not tithe: SM Homeworlds, Forgeworlds and Cardinal worlds. They supply their tithe in a different way. Only when the chapter occupies the world will the tithing stop. The Mechanicum would have been all over the lost artefacts hoping to use them, and as for nano bites... chances are they would have wiped out the humans for heresy and re-populated the planet on discovery.

 

Also, the Church is in every world. They are always there. bar Forgeworlds and SM Chapters, the church is always, always, always there.