IA Supernovas [v2.1]

[Wargamer]

Note before beginning: The Adepta Astartes are not negotiable - they are part of the Chapter. End of.

 

I also wish to retain the reference to the Space Wolf founding. It need not be stated as fact (I deliberately allow for ambiguity), but the IA should contain it.

 

INDEX ASTARTES: SUPERNOVAS

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"Taekar!" - a common Supernovan battle cry.

 

Far beyond the light of the Astronomicon, in one of the farthest flung tendrils of the eastern spiral arm of the galaxy, lies a Pangean world oribiting a blighted blue star. It is a world of hardships, where beasts both great and small roam the surface. It is a world where the skies are ruled by wyverns and the waters filled with kraken. It is a planet where even the trees themselves come alive to swallow up the living. It is Tasal, a Deathworld, and it is here that the Supr Novr Aestra - the Supernovas - call home.

 

To know the Chapter, you must first know its people, and the people of Tasal are a diverse and warlike collection. The pinnacle of their society revolves around the bastion-cities and millennia old war trains. The latter use the great artillery guns of their titanic convoys to hunt and slay their Titan-sized prey, which they in turn process into food and goods to sell to the bastions in exchange for fuel and ammunition. The men and women alike of both cultures are warrior born; trained from birth in the twin arts of sword work and marksmanship. Seaward of these people are the coastal settlements where the brave and foolhardy harvest the ocean's bounty, or pillage from one another. In doing so they risk having their ships dragged below by unholy, tentacled things, or else consumed from above by Skygrahk swarms.

The coast folk are hardy, but they are nothing compared to the Icelanders. Marauders from the southern realms, this matriarchic society is legendary across the southern regions for their feral fury. Though technologically backward, their culture is prolific, and survives in the most impossible of conditions.

 

At the other end of the scale lie the mountain folk and forest peoples. Both are few and far between, for the former dwell in the hunting grounds of draconic monsters, and the latter live in flesh eating forests. The Wyldstawk in particular is a notorious stretch of jungle where even the Astartes do not venture lightly. Those who stray in and escape the predators and man-eating plants invariably die at the hands of the Qwaythe - naked berserkers who believe the Emperor will protect their flesh more surely than any armour.

 

A scribe could spend a lifetime cataloging all the ways Tasal may try to kill a man, and his list would cover a fraction of the planet's true deadly potential. That any men survive on this damned world at all is a miracle, but survive they do, and they pass from father to son, from mother to daughter, an ancient warrior-way that has crept into the very fabric of the Supernovas itself.

 

History of the Supernovas

"You don't know who we are? Heed your myths and legends, man - they're all about us!"

-Unknown Supernovan addressing the Planetary Governor of Khlonas

The Novr Aestra:

According to the legends passed down by the people of Tasal, there are beings called the Novr Aestra, which in the language of the Bastions means "the Stars that Fell". They came during a time of darkness, when green-skinned Daemons roamed the land, killing and burning and defiling all they touched. According to their legends, Cernunnos, the Horned God, became so enraged at these blasphemous creatures that he ordered the stars themselves to fall, and so they did; they fell in the guise of men. These men wore armour no bullet or blade could pierce, and armed with autolochs that spat bullets as powerful as any deck gun. The Novr Aestra slaughtered the green Daemons, and restored order, of a sort, to Tasal.

 

Imperial History does, to an extent, agree with these tales; long ago, a small detachment of Space Wolves led an expeditionary fleet into the farthest corners of the galaxy. The reason is long lost, but it is claimed to be a matter of personal honour; one so great and so dire that even Leman Russ himself would not command the quest abandoned. Whatever the truth, the Space Wolves hunted their quarry to Tasal, and fought a great legion of Orks there. It was a long and bloody crusade that waged for so long, and so far flung from the rest of the galaxy, that the Heresy came and went by the time the Sons of Russ were contacted once more.

 

If the myths of the Supernovas are to be believed, Leman Russ ordered his sons home when the Heresy broke out in force, yet the Wolf Lord found himself torn; there were many foes yet to face, and to abandon Tasal would surely invite more Orks to claim it in their absence. The Wolves had come to respect the courage of the Tasalians, who had always proven themselves willing to fight even against hopeless odds. Thus was the Wolf Lord given a choice, of sorts; he could return home, or else he could sire a new Chapter, forever forsaking his links with the Space Wolves. The latter was chosen, and the Wolves adopted the name the Tasalians had given them - the Novr Aestra.

 

The Curse of Novr:

Whether the Novr Aestra were ever a Chapter at all is, today, a matter of debate amongst Imperial scholars. However, the Supernovas themselves insist that the Chapter did exist, if only for a time. Barely had they founded, come to strength and begun to cleanse the surrounding stars did the 'Curse of Novr' strike them. At first, only a few Novitae were lost, but then as time went on ever more aspirants began to reject their genetic inheritence. The Chapter destabalised, and unable to replenish its losses it was quickly decimated. By the time the call for aid was received and acted upon by the wider Imperium, barely half the Legion remained.

 

The only solution the High Lords could propose was to refound the Chapter - an idea that was initially rejected, but eventually allowed when the Novr Aestra dwindled to barely two hundred Astartes. The High Lords were already in the process of founding a new Chapter, one of Ultramarine stock, and so instead chose to amalgamate this unborn Chapter with the Novr Aestra. From that point on, the Chapter would make sole use of Ultramarine Geneseed, with their original, corrupted stock returned to Terra for study and storage.

Reforged in Ultramarine genestock, the Chapter prospered once more, though the 'new blood' did not take kindly to the Fenrisian style organisation and sought to implement a more orthadox, Codex structure. The resulting conflict of character would take many centuries to resolve, and would indeed outlive the last of the Fenrisian warriors. For the people of Tasal, all of this went unheeded - they were oblivious to the change, but did note that after a time the Angels of Death began to call themselves "Secr Novr" - The Second Stars. This Tasalian name became bastardised into the Low Gothic "Supernovas" by the Ultramarine-stock Astartes and Gothic speaking Chapter serfs, and the name stuck.

 

All of this is, of course, viewed with a great deal of skepticism by most Imperial scholars. According to official Administratum records, kept in a secure vault at the heart of Terra, the Supernovas were founded at some time in M32, using Ultramarine gene-stock - an assertion supported by their Gene Tithe records - and the Adeptus Terra have this dismissed all other claims as false.

 

The Lonely Vigil:

For several centuries, the Supernovas stood alone. With Tasal far beyond the light of the Astronomicon, contact with Imperial agencies was infrequent; rarely anything more than a plea for help from a planetary governor, or an informal notification that the Tithe ships were coming. The Supernovas accepted this without comment, but it had an impact on their Chapter in ways no-one predicted.

 

Questions were asked of the Chapter by its members. The first was a question of faith; why was only the Emperor Cult preached by the Chaplains? Tasal had many variations of the Imperial faith, with the Emperor worshipped in countless guises: The Great Father; Cernunnos, the Horned God; Ae'rath, the Mother-Goddess and a hundred other faiths besides had all been rewritten into embracing their patron as a facet of the Emperor (or Terra itself, in one otherwise awkward case). Yet despite this plethora of belief, only one was deemed right within the Supernovas.

 

More questions were directed at the Codex Astartes itself. Almost all major powers on Tasal were united by a common belief; that a warrior's skills were something to be passed father to son, or master to apprentice, often along with the weapons the Novitae was tutored in using. To be trained as a unit, where the individual's ability was secondary to the performance of the squad as a whole was alien to many.

 

Gradually, over a period of many years, these conflicts of ideology began to reshape the Chapter as the Neophytes who bore these concerns became full-fledged Marines, and in due course rose to positions of power. The Chapter Cult became more tolerant of personal deviations in faith; senior members of the Chapter were permitted to train a novice the 'Tasalian' way, and gradually the use of formal Low Gothic was replaced by the native Tasalian dialect. An outsider might have noticed the change, but coming from within as it did, in tiny steps, the Chapter never considered themselves to be deviating from the norm until they were so far gone they couldn't imagine any other way of doing things.

 

Return to the Fold:

Whilst the Chapter had always been active since its founding, the wider Imperial bureaucracy largely ignored them up until the aftermath of the Nova Terra Intergennum, when five Companies of Supernovas launched a crusade against the Apostate Cardinal known as Le'Dac The Visionary. The long and gruelling task of purging the dissent caused by the rogue cardinal was only made worse as the Age of Apostacy and the Plague of Unbelief began.

 

During these dark years, the Supernovas crusaded endlessly toward the galactic core and beyond, operating well beyond the regions they'd sworn to defend. For the first time in almost five millennia, the Chapter had routine contact with senior elements of the Imperial hierarchy, and they were quick to correct their records as to the Chapter's disposition and, more pressingly, its loyalties. Given the nature of their efforts, the Ordo Hereticus were willing to overlook the peculiarities the Supernovas had developed, and indeed called upon the Chapter directly to assist in purging many traitorous insurrectionists.

 

Since those glorious days, the Chapter's reputation has been tarnished. The men who spoke of their quality are dead, and the scrolls on which they wrote their reports have long since crumbled to dust. Though the Chapter's loyalty has not diminished, they have become increasingly tired of the petty infighting and political scheming of the wider Imperium.

 

Chapter Organisation

"Lochs and Loads at hand, all souls; from here on out, there be Dragons."

-Traditional Supernovan saying, recited when passing beyond the light of the Astronomicon.

The Supernovas are, for the most part, a Codex Chapter. Their biggest deviation lies in the adoption of the master-pupil relationship of their homeworld, resulting in the dissolution of the Scout Company. As such, the Supernovas have only nine Companies, each of approximately 120 men. The First Company retains the role of veteran company. The rest of the Chapter is expected to function as an autonomous force, and by and large the Chapter Master does not dictate how and when a Company may deploy its men. Only in the direst of circumstances will the Chapter be pooled together as a single fighting force.

 

In place of scouts, the Supernovas have Novitae. These are 'adopted' by a Marine, who will teach them everything they need to know - from combat skills to the Chapter's lore and customs. They will follow their mentors into battle just as the Novitae of Tasal's people do, and in time they will be granted Battle Brother status should their skill and courage prove adequate. These young warriors are typically kept out of the thickest fighting, and may sometimes be placed into an ad-hoc squad so they can 'watch and learn' from a safe distance whilst their masters engage in bloody hand to hand combat. Should a Novitae be killed, it is not unheard of for his mentor to abandon his position and hunt down those responsible in order to exact revenge. Such acts of recklessness are rarely punished beyond a token word of chastisement, assuming the Marine survives.

 

The Supernovas do not follow the typical Codex formation of assault, tactical and devastator squads. Instead, they have a single unit, the ‘battle squad’, which forms the core of their fighting force. Battle squads are formed of a sergeant and nine other members of the Chapter, which will be a mix of full Marines and their Novitae.

The Chapter believes that every man must be self-sufficient on the battle field; a soldier who cannot fight at peak efficiency without his squad is a liability. As such, the Chapter values autonomy in its members, and grants them considerable freedom to dictate equipment and deployment. Once they become a full-fledged Marine, a Supernovan can choose for himself which Company he serves, and the squad he serves in. This means Supernovan squads tend to be reformed more often than other Chapters, although it is very common for squadmates to bond and thus choose to remain as a unit.

 

Supernovan specialist units are used differently to other Chapters, as they are formed only when required. Supernovan Devastator squads are little more than a battle squad that has chosen to bring heavier weapons, and fights as such. Likewise, bikes or Land Speeders are requisitioned whenever a squad feels they will be useful. The Assault squads, on the other hand, are very different. They are formed of volunteers from other squads, and no Novitae may ever join the unit. They are sent into the thickest of fighting, where the heaviest casualties are likely to be suffered. Casualty rates for such units are always high, but the survivors earn considerable renown within the Chapter and many are fast-tracked to veteran status.

 

Heraldry:

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Left to right: Supernovas colours pre M34; Supernovas colours pre M38; modern Supernovas colours; Supernovan bearing the squad heraldry of Captain Xeran, 4th Company.

Note that the Aquila clutching the Omega has sometimes been referred to as the Chapter symbol of the Supernovas. This appears to be an administrative error on the part of an Adept sometime in M34, and has only in recent years been corrected. A formal complaint and request for his dismissal has been submitted to the clerical sub-division overseer.

 

Supernovan colours are not fixed; the only common trait within the Chapter is that they typically wear blue, representing their star, Cerun. The 'official' uniform of the Supernovas is a rich cobalt with deep blue helm and shoulder trim, but most Marines paint their helmet and trim black instead. This is apparently to honour their Chapter Master, Ximo, whose heraldic colour is black.

 

Indeed, the adoption of heraldry is a very common trait amongst the Supernovas. Companies, squads or even individual Astartes may change their uniforms to honour various encounters. For example, Captain Xeran and his first squad all paint their left shoulder pads black with red trim in honour of the Fates Angels, whilst Sergeant Arrax and the 7th squad of Ninth Company adopt elements of the Bright Lords colour scheme. Typically, the use of a specific heraldry will continue only so long as at least one of the participants still lives. This in turn ensures that squad markings and colours shift constantly, with only the most Chapter-shaking events resulting in permanent shifts in colour scheme.

 

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Crude approximation of traditional Tasalian tartan. Supernovas recruited from the Icelands often favour the use of tartan.

 

Supernovas tend to favour older weapon and armour patterns, with the Mk VI "Corvus" power armour being the most commonly used in the Chapter. Why this is remains a mystery, but it is believed that Forgeworlds and armourers supplying the Chapter continue to produce Corvus armour at their request.

 

Beliefs and Rituals

"As He was born of Terra, so are we born of Him. All of Humanity carry His light within them; we, perhaps, just burn a little brighter than most."

-Chaplain Lachr, Supernovas Third Company.

The Cult of Tasal:

The Supernovas honour the Emperor in the guise of Cernunnos - the Horned God. They believe that the Emperor is the father of all mankind, and as such all men carry within them a tiny portion of his divine might. They believe that evil is caused by Daemonic influence, and that the only way to fight against the Daemonic is to remain pure of heart and purpose.

By and large, the Supernovas do not share the nature of their Cult with outsiders, particularly those of the Ecclesiarchy.

The symbol of Cernunnos is the triskelion – the three-pronged ward. It is said to protect against physical, mental and spiritual corruption, and represents the Emperor’s divine blessing. The Supernovas appear to have adopted this as their heraldic device some time in M36; before that, records suggest their symbol was a skull haloed by a blue star.

The colour used to portray the triskelion varies from squad to squad, but green is the common choice. It is believed that the colour used has some significance beyond mere cosmetics; assault squads, for example, favour a red triskelion. The symbol is never, under any circumstances, painted in white; this appears to be a ‘bad omen’ of some kind, and the Astartes become enraged at the idea. Given white is associated with death on Tasal, it is possible a white triskelion symbolises the death of the Emperor.

 

Taekar:

One of the most common rituals within the Chapter is known as “Taekar”. Many attempts have been made to translate this phrase, but outsiders remain unclear as to its meaning. All that is known is that the word is a call to arms amongst the Chapter; once Taekar is declared, blood must be spilt. However, it is not simply a battle cry. One of its uses includes the passing of a weapon to another by a dying warrior – the declaration of Taekar in this context seems to imply that the weapon should be carried in honour of the dead, perhaps to avenge them, or else simply so that they will live on through it.

Shockingly, the Supernovas have been known to turn on one another in the name of this ritual. Should Taekar be invoked recklessly, or prematurely, two of the Astartes present will typically duel with blades, fighting until blood is drawn. Rumours persist that Marines have died for the sake of satisfying this ritual, though as ever finding proof of such claims is extremely difficult.

 

The Chapter Weyes:

Long ago, sometime in M33, the entire Supernovas Chapter embarked on a crusade against the enemies of Man. The history of this crusade is long and glorious, and the course it followed became known as the Novr Weye by the Chapter. Ten years later the Second Company followed that path again, and so, tentatively, the tradition of the Chapter Weyes was formed.

 

A Weye is any patrol route that follows the course of a notable crusade. Weyes can be as small as the Weye of the Shield, which reaches one world close to Tasal, or as vast as the Weye of the Dead, which passes through the Sol system and beyond to the western fringes of the galaxy.

 

As the Supernovas patrol the Weyes, they are expected to answer any and all calls for aid they find. Typically, these patrols are only a squad or two of Marines travelling on a small escort ship, but the Chapter has found this is usually sufficient to deal with most threats. If it is not, the ship will call for assistance, and entire Companies can be deployed to their aid.

 

The right to travel a Weye is reserved only for members of a certain Company. Those who wish to use a Weye that does not ‘belong’ to their Company must either acquire temporary permission from the Captain who ‘owns’ the Weye, or else win the rights off him in ritual challenge. Sometimes, however, a Chapter Master will override these protocols. For example, the Weye of Mourning may only be followed by the Sixth Company, as it was on this Weye that they were all but wiped out in M37.

 

New Weyes are only officially founded with the approval of the Chapter Master, and not every flight path or crusade course constitutes a Weye. As such, it is a rare and special honour for a Crusade group to be permitted to forge a Weye.

 

Recruitment

"Here, in this hallowed place, you are born anew. Tasal shall be your mother and I, in the guise of the Horned God, shall be your father."

-A recitation made to a Novitae during the Rituals of Initiation.

The people of Tasal are bound to the Chapter by ancient charters. These are written on fine parchment and in human blood, which the Chapter periodically updates and maintains. The blood-pacts these charters represent are the most solemn vow that any man on Tasal, the Supernovas included, could ever make. Signed by the Chapter Master at the time of making, to break such a pact would be a disgrace so terrible that few amongst the Supernovas dare contemplate it.

 

Every charter is slightly different. The Charter of Qwaythe states that the Supernovas may carry away any boy whose body has broken, yet whose soul has not yet returned to Terra. The Charter of Storms allows the Supernovas to recruit any Novitae they find adrift at sea off the western coasts, whilst the Charter of Yyth-Lyrs only allows recruitment of those who complete the ritual trials held once every two years.

By and large, these stipulations do not hinder the Supernovas. Tasalians are a surprisingly hardy people, and as with any Chapter that recruits from a Death World, their rejection rate is comparatively low. Combined with recruits pulled from the Serf Households, Enclave Yards and other vassal elements of the wider Chapter, the Supernovas have never found themselves short on prospective fighting men.

 

Supernovan recruits are encouraged to take pride in their past, and usually carry the traditions of their homeland with them. For example, a Qwaythian who becomes a Librarian may tattoo his skin black in the manner of their witch-doctors, whilst the Steppenkin favour ostentatious facial hair and the pelts of mountain beasts. Whilst this can lead to some animosity, this is bred away very quickly; Novitae are drilled to accept the Chapter as their new people, and to embrace all the cultures of their homeworld.

 

The first challenge an aspirant faces when becoming a Supernovan is the ritual of the Trials. These are straightforward things; a test of strength and stamina to endure the aspirant is worth the effort to uplift them to Astartes. It is also often used to help them recover, as a not insignificant number of recruits are brought in ‘dead’ to be revived and restored by the Apothecaries.

 

Following the Trials, the aspirant is subjected to the Primarch’s Flesh. This is a tiny portion of the gene seed; a sliver of genetic material skimmed off one of the early stage implants. If the body rejects the tissue, the subject cannot be implanted and must serve the Chapter as a Serf. Rarely, if ever, is a failed aspirant returned to their people.

 

First stage implantation follows as soon as the Flesh is deemed to have been accepted. After this comes the ritual of the Wyrdsleep. The methods of implantation used by the Chapter require that the Sus-an Membrane to be implanted as one of the first phases, along with the myriad of organs that will bring about the massive physical growth of the subject. The ordeal causes the aspirant’s body to shut down, placing them in a comatose state. The aspirants are gorged on a specially-chosen diet prior to the Wyrdsleep, and fed intravenously whilst unconscious.

The ritual often causes shifts in personality for the aspirant, as their mind is reshaped as well as their body. Almost all have dreams; some good, some terrible. What they dream of is considered an omen of their future, and will be recorded by the Chaplains, most of which dream of being visited by the Emperor on some guise or another.

Those who survive the Wyrdsleep go on to receive further implants, and continue to train toward becoming true Space Marines. During this time the aspirants will live and train together apart from the other Space Marines, and will only move into the Cloister – the living quarters for the Astartes of each Bastion-Monastery – once the final phase implants are inserted.

Upon being deemed ready by the Chaplains and Apothecaries, the Aspirants become Novitae. They will be adopted by a full-fledged Space Marine, who will take responsibility for the young warrior’s training, as well as their wargear, living arrangements and general well-being. The bond between mentor and Novitae is akin to that of parent and child, and it is not uncommon for the novice to retain a close bond with their former master upon becoming a true Space Marine.

 

The Adepta Astartes:

The Icelands have long been known as one of the best places to find hardy warrior folk. Whilst none of the peoples of Tasal are weak, it takes a special kind of endurance to survive in the freezing waters of the southern ocean. Since the earliest days, young men of the ice have been taken to the Trials by the Chapter, and since those days there have been those who question the methods used to choose who is taken.

The Icelands are for the most part a matriarchic society. Though the tribes are not always united, each one is typically ruled over by a queen of some description, who is in turn subordinate to the Empress of the Ice, or an equivalent position, as and when a warlord rises to unify them. Thus, ever since the first Charters were made, there have been those who have demanded that women be taken to trial.

Sometimes, for the sake of humouring the natives, a handful of women would be taken - rarely more than half a dozen at a time across all the tribes. They would, for the sake of the thing, be tested with the men and, in due course, rejected due to incompatibility. They became Serfs, and so served the Chapter in their own way.

 

A decade or so prior to the conflict known as the 'Inquisition War', a Chapter Serf was sent to forge a new Charter, one that would permit the Chapter to draw a larger number of recruits from their lands. Such matters were usually dealt with by a herald - a mortal Serf entrusted to speak on behalf of the Chapter Master. In this case, the Serf chosen was Anja; a girl who had been uplifted into the Chapter six years previously. It was believed the Icelanders would be more receptive to the Charter if presented by one of their own. No-one, not even Ximo himself, had predicted just what Anja would do with the power entrusted to her.

 

When the Astartes came to collect the recruits, they learned that six hundred Novitae had been brought for the Trials, all of which were female. Anja, it turned out, had harboured a long resentment that no woman had ever been found worthy of becoming an Astartes, and had taken it upon herself to make the Charter open to all, male and female. It was signed in fresh blood - she had slit her palms upon the sword of the Queen of Ice to bind the Chapter to this agreement.

 

The senior members of the Chapter met and argued between themselves how to proceed. Anja's actions dishonoured them, for the Chapter took the Charters very seriously - some, albeit a minority, claimed that they would have to disband in shame if they failed to honour them. Others pointed out that they need only put the girls to Trial - nowhere did it say they had to succeed. Ximo listened to both sides in silence, his face unreadable behind the mask of scars and augmentic implants. Finally, when all others had spoken their fill, he made his choice; he would honour the Charter and put the girls to trial, but he would not permit the Chapter to let them fail and pretend honour was satisfied. They would do all they could to find a way to augment the female aspirants to the point where the Gene-seed would hold. Only then, once every effort had been made, could honour be satisfied one way or the other.

 

Apothecaries and Genesmiths worked tirelessly at Ximo’s behest. The girls were strong, for their people had chosen them well, but the hell they endured was long and costly. Hormonal treatments were used; organs were transplanted or cut out entirely; flesh-grafts taken from the dead, or clone-grown in vats, were applied and hundreds of other experimentations were made. This process killed many of the aspirants, damning them to a lingering, agonising death on the surgical tables of the Apothecaries. Of the six hundred who were submitted, a full half died in the name of furthering the Chapter's pursuit of a solution.

At last, the right formula was found and repeated. Acceptance rates of the sample tissues were low, but within acceptable boundaries. The next stage - true Gene-seed implantation - could begin.

This process was not without its setbacks either. Many of those who were implanted died during the Wyrdsleep. “They do not lie as the boys do, sweating and twitching," one Apothecary recounted, "The [female aspirants] were violent in their sleep. We had to strap them down; they had fits, they bit their tongues, they soiled themselves and vomited blood and offal. We opened them up after to save what we could of the Gene, but many had burst their insides, so violent was the rejection.”

Finally, after their months-long sleep, the female Aspirants began to stir. As with their male counterparts they were forever changed in both body and mind. The final stages of their initiation claimed or two more, but no more or less than would be expected of any bath of recruits.

 

Despite the hardships of their creation, those who survived became noteworthy members of the Chapter. Perhaps it was because they were strange, and so the Chapter paid more attention to their efforts. Perhaps, with all eyes on them, they felt they had something to prove. Perhaps, as Sister Mytal claimed, their homeland simply bred a better class of warrior.

Whatever the reason, of the twelve Sisters who survived their Novitaetion and became full Astartes, all have earned an honour roll to be proud of: Mytal of the Fourth has become Company Champion; Laasa became squad sergeant within the Sixth, and Freja’s skill as an Assault Marine has many believing she will be the first Adepta to join the First Company. This honour roll was quickly joined by the likes of Seyth – a Bastion-born northern girl who was recruited due to her psychic potential.

Today, the Supernovas continue to recruit female aspirants, not only from the southern ice but other realms as well. It is not a universal policy; some cultures hold that women should not be warriors, whilst other Charters explicitly state only men may apply. However, there are no shortage of warrior women on Tasal, and though most never survive to become full Astartes, there will never be a shortage of warrior-women who dream of becoming an Angel of Death.

[InquisitorHayn]

Hail, Wargamer! I took the opportunity to read the old thread and I will attempt to refrain from double-tapping previously argued points. Due to the protracted nature of the IA, I will be addressing my points as I read to try and keep my thoughts in order. Now, to business.

 

My first note occurred to me at first glance. As you are no doubt aware, this IA is long. Tiringly so. Though your ideas are fairly well-compiled and interesting, simply getting through them is, at best, a lengthy process. I would make the suggestion that you try to tighten the writing and, if you wish to get more into the storytelling (which you obviously and understandably enjoy), that you expand upon the IA in a series of short stories or a novel. I love reading a good story, but I fear you won't receive as much reception as you deserve for a piece that is two to three times longer than many people expect from an article that's supposed to gives us the essential gist of your Chapter.

 

Common Terms:

Using so many common terms that evoke pre-formed mental images (such as "wyvern", "dragon", "kraken", and "dinosaur") stifles a reader's ability to suspend disbelief. Instead, I recommend utilizing descriptions such as this one that comes slightly later:

...they risk having their ships dragged below by unholy, tentacled things...

It creates a partial image that the reader's imagination is free to enhance or build upon, and that interactivity of thought will actually further draw the reader in. Allowing people to see what they wish to see is one of an author's greatest and most underemployed tools. Now, it's not to say that you shouldn't use historical reference at all but, as with all things, it should be done in moderation.

 

On a similar note, be wary of using completely new terms without nearby explanation. Yes, most readers will be able to quickly decipher what an "autoloch" is using context clues, but doing such things too often can cause the reader to spend more time puzzling out unnecessary references than heeding your content. It doesn't seem to large a problem at the beginning, but it could become one if the trend continues.

 

To do the horrors of this world justice is impossible. A scribe could spend a lifetime cataloging all the ways Tasal may try to kill a man, and his list would cover a fraction of the planet's true deadly potential. That any men survive on this damned world at all is a miracle, but survive they do, and they pass from father to son, from mother to daughter, an ancient warrior-way that has crept into the very fabric of the Supernovas itself.

I really like the combination of closure and transition that the last sentence in this paragraph gives your opening. That said, I recommend doing away with the first sentence. Your previous statements have already given vividly adequate indication of the trials of Tasallian life. This line sounds like a desperate grab at enhancing that image, though in reality, it doesn't really add anything except to say "No one else is harder than us and your argument is invalid." Sometimes, less is more.

 

Novr Aestra:

 

People can say what they want about the taboo of Space Wolves successors, but I think that a company on assignment who, having gained respect for those they worked so hard to save, suffer a crisis of conscience is a well-crafted way to explain such a thing. There are, however, a couple of kinks in the story that hinder its believability. First, placing these events amidst the Horus Heresy is very dodgy. That period has so much documentation that has been and has yet to be written that nearly every major Imperial body in that era is accounted for somewhere. Glorious though it may appear, there is nothing in your story that could not have happened later and I believe it would help the credibility of the piece to shift it.

 

Also, the one thing you haven't explained in depth is that very issue of conscience that drives the Wolf Lord's decision. Give us a little detail that makes it a real, believable dilemma so that we can say we might have done the same.

 

The Curse of Novr:

Barely had they founded, come to strength and begun to cleanse the surrounding stars did the 'Curse of Novr' strike them. At first, only a few Novitae were lost, but then as time went on ever more aspirants began to reject their genetic inheritence.

Be wary of the term "founded" here. I remind you that "Foundings" only occur with significant output from and ratification by other Imperial institutions. An extant Great Company simply splintering off and recruiting from somewhere else (which I believe was your intent in this segment) is explainable. That Company creating an entirely separate Chapter is not. Especially on mission, they would not have adequate resources for such an undertaking. Wording is key. Taking this quote as a whole, I assume here that you're referencing the Space Wolf geneseed's propensity to fail outside the sons of Fenris. While experienced and/or well-read viewers can piece it together, the idea is not conveyed in such a way as to make that clear.

 

The only solution the High Lords could propose was to refound the Chapter...

By your own admission, this former Great Company disobeyed orders, formed a new Chapter without Imperial consent, and abandoned their Legion in the time of the known galaxy's greatest crisis. Why the Space Wolves haven't hunted them down and slain every last one of them out of sheer rage is hard to explain at this point. At best, they're lucky if the Imperium forgot about them. At worst, they're Excommunicate Traitoris. Either way, the High Lords doing this is out of the question, fluff-wise. Even Anaziel, then Chapter Master of the Dark Angels, of one the most esteemed Legion remnants, wasn't granted his request for a new founding without serious deliberation. That was in the 37th millennium and, according to fluff, was an unheard of request by Chapter Master at that time. But they're fine with doing it for the Captain of a renegade Great Company? I would strongly suggest reworking this section because, from a fluff standpoint, there's simply too much controversy for it to be acceptable.

 

All of this is, of course, viewed with a great deal of skepticism by most Imperial scholars.

If the High Lords actually had refounded the Chapter, the Administratum and Mechanicus would have records of every detail of its creation, equipment issue, geneseed tithes, etc. Paperwork is one thing Terra and Mars are reputed for.

 

The Lonely Vigil:

This section nags at my attention. I have a hard time believing that a Chapter trained by and including members of the Vlka Fenryka, regardless of geneseed, would simply forget/cast aside all the beliefs and practices of Fenris. Space Wolves are fiercely individual, yet you make it seem as if your Chapter simply falls in line with the ideals of a Codex Chapter at some point. Unless they were all long dead, I would think the former Legionnaires would have something to say about that.

 

Chapter Organisation:

Alright, I've officially lost you. In this section, you've abandoned any semblance of a central theme. It would appear you just slapped together everything you thought would be cool and rolled with it. And the "armor through the ages" pics are entirely unwarranted and only add to the already exessive length of the article.

 

Equipment:

As above, this section is entirely unnecessary and adds nothing to the character of your Chapter. Come now, pre-Heresy STC supermicrogrenades that the Chapter wants to willingly hand over but can't because a clerical error gave ownership to the Ecclesiarchy? I hate to be harsh, but if that isn't a desperate petition for free cool points, I don't know what is.

 

Beliefs:

Please, I beg of you, stop trying to be so mysterious and just tell me something. There are so many contradictions, unsubtly implied mysteries, and inferred speculations here that, rather than coming off as interesting ambiguity, it just seems that you're not even sure what's true and what isn't. Also, the part about the Weyes could use it's own sidebar. It's an interesting factoid, but it doesn't contribute enough to belong in the main body and sticks out like Pinocchio's schnoz in the Beliefs section.

 

Combat Doctrine:

The Supernovan way of fighting is heavily influenced both by their local culture...

I'm not seeing it.

 

The first wave of a typical Supernovan attack is pre-empted by Deathwind pods...

This is what happens nearly every time, regardless of the circumstances?

 

Recruitment:

It seems you've come back around to your central idea. Bravo. :D I rather like the concept of the Charters.

 

The Adepta Astartes:

Before you start defending your honor, I've already read the tediously long arguments regarding this subject and I have no desire to perpetuate them. I am by no means a theoretical bioenhancement expert and I actually kind of enjoy the way you crafted this segment. You obviously put a lot of thought into it, and I applaud your courage and resolve in facing the inevitable barrage of negativity this typically attracts.

 

Allies and Enemies:

While doubtlessly interesting to you, this entire section tells us nothing of relevance about your Chapter. Every Chapter has enemies and allies, often too many to count. Listing them only adds to the tedium. As readers, we don't want to know everything that you do as a writer because this isn't our baby. It's yours, and that means that some things are kept in your notes and brought back out when you have a more credible way to use them. This isn't your only chance to write, you know. ;)

 

To address the Inquisition War section specifically, I would strongly recommend...no, I insist that you remove it. For starters, it's far from even the remotest sense of realism. If your Chapter was set upon by the combined forces of the Inquisition, the Sisters of Battle, and multiple Astartes Chapters (one of which being a remnant of the original IF Legion), they would quite simply cease to exist. No amount of coolness or plot armor could save anyone short of the Ultramarines from that. And yet your boys not only survive, but win? It completely destroys any credibility this article may have built up to here in a massively overdramatized, John Woo-directed explosion.

 

Closing Comments:

Regardless of how it may appear from my critique, I actually enjoyed several portions of your IA. You have some fine concepts that you have worked harder on than many I have seen. However, here is where I need to be plainly honest with you. I fear that, sadly, the sheer amount of information did the same thing to your writing as it did to my criticism. It got lazy at times and couldn't adequately do justice to the worthwhile segments of your article. That said, I believe this has the potential to be a particularly fulfilling and splendid read with some more work put in. I look forward to seeing its progress. I also want to thank you. This is officially the longest response I have ever submitted to an IA, but that means it was worth the time. ;)

[Wargamer]

Okay, so your main point is there's too much stuff in here? I cannot begin to imagine what makes you think that! :P Okay, I'll start re-reading and chopping stuff out. It's always kind of hard for me because, whilst the IA should arguably be just a guide to what makes the Chapter who they are, to me everything makes them who they are; their fetish for 1st Edition... I mean "Heresy Era" equipment, the fact they've 'gone native', the various story arcs, etc.

 

I'll do some further editing later on.

[Dosjetka]

Okay, so your main point is there's too much stuff in here? I cannot begin to imagine what makes you think that! :) Okay, I'll start re-reading and chopping stuff out. It's always kind of hard for me because, whilst the IA should arguably be just a guide to what makes the Chapter who they are, to me everything makes them who they are; their fetish for 1st Edition... I mean "Heresy Era" equipment, the fact they've 'gone native', the various story arcs, etc.

 

I'll do some further editing later on.

While I do agree with you on the point that everything makes who they are, but what an Index Astartes article is, in essence, is a summary. Of course, that doesn't stop you in any way to write a longer IA, it's just that the reader is often discouraged by a wall of text, however interesting it might be.

 

I'll try and give some proper criticism when I get some time to read this (ie. after all my end of year school work is done...).

 

Ludovic

[Wargamer]

Okay... choppy-choppy has happened! :P

 

I also seem to have simply stopped writing halfway through a train of thought in several places, so I've gone back and filled in those areas. I've also explanded... err... expanded the Chapter Histoy some more.

 

The allies and enemies section is taken out, as is the equipment. The heraldry remains - an Index Astartes should be able to show the reader what the Chapter is meant to look like!

[Phoros]

To be honest, I would reccommend keeping the "attempted gene-modified 3rd founding SW successor", rather than this. As implausible as that was, it seems better than this.

[Wargamer]

To be honest, I would reccommend keeping the "attempted gene-modified 3rd founding SW successor", rather than this. As implausible as that was, it seems better than this.

 

That never existed to begin with.

[Phoros]

Oh. Really?

Huh. :|