Captain Cirrius Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 Index Astartes http://sundren.org/wiki/images/8/82/Handprint.gif The Sons of Retribution ORIGINS The Sons of Retribution were a chapter commissioned by the High Lords of Terra to explore, secure, and defend the Parsus sector in the Centaurus Arm of Segmentum Ultima. The genestock of the Black Templars (and therefore that of the Imperial Fists) was used in the creation of the Sons of Retribution, and Veteran Adminion and his Squad were charged with the initial selection of the Chapter’s first (chronological) company from the ranks of the Black Templars. Armed with a single Battle Barge, crew, and one full strength company of marines, Adminion set out for the Parsus system. What he found was a system of populated worlds, mostly Agri- and Civilized-class worlds, surrounding a single Hive-class world, dubbed Parsus IV. The world’s population of almost three hundred and fifty billion people was grouped into hundreds of massive walled cities that shared little contact. Outside of the walls, the conditions were nearly unlivable, but a handful of nomadic tribes had managed to live outside the “protection” of the hive cities. It was from these tribes that Adminion began recruitment and over many hundreds of years, the Sons of Retribution grew to full chapter strength, making the Parsus sector, and particularly Parsus IV, their home. HOMEWORLD The original homeworld of the Sons of Retribution was the Hive-world, Parsus IV, where, over hundreds of years, they were able to integrate themselves into the culture and politics of each of the Hive-cities on the planet. Unfortunately, unknown to the Chapter, a tribe in the wilderness outside the cities had begun to dabble in the terrors of chaos, summoning its agents and building a force. They first struck on in the southern hemisphere, very far from the planets capital city of Adminton (renamed in honor of Chapter Master Adminion). Over the next 50 years, the Sons battled the forces of Chaos on Parsus IV, vigorously defending their adopted homeworld. The enemy proved to be too much for the chapter, however and they were forced to return to their battle-barge, The Hand of Retribution, where they began planning a counter-strike. It was at this time that the Inquisition intervened in the form of Inquisitor Lord Dethias. Dethias declared the planet lost and, in an attempt to destroy the chaos forces on the planet, ordered Exterminatus of Parsus IV. Adminion and the Sons of Retribution debated the decision vigorously, but Dethias held the authority of the High Lords of Terra and Parsus IV fell to the destructive bombardment. Upon Dethias’ departure, Adminion met with his Captains to discuss the future of the chapter. It was decided that Imperium had lost all love for its subjects and servants and that not one of them wished to continue to serve such a hateful empire. They renounced the Emperor and the Imperium and pledged their allegiance to that of Humanity. Their fleet, led by The Hand of Retribution, now travels the Centaurus Arm serving and protecting those neglected by the Imperium from pirates and facing the forces of Chaos wherever they arise. Company Master-at-Arms Cirrius of "The Valiant 3rd"Note the arm painted entirely in black. This symbolizes that he is a survivor of the "Great Shame" and his promise for revenge against the forces of Chaos COMBAT DICTRINE Since their transition to fleet-based organization and warfare, the Sons of Retribution have become experts in the art of naval warfare. Every marine is trained in boarding techniques, and they excel in the confines of enemy ships. The exception is the 3rd Company, dubbed “The Valiant Third”, which is the ground force of the Sons of Retribution. They are used for planetary invasions and are the spearhead for all planetary assaults. They are led Company Master-at-Arms Cirrius. The Chapter does not deploy many vehicles when attacking on the ground. The 3rd Company is mainly infantry based, and each marine is trained extensively in hand-to-hand combat. ORGANIZATION The Sons of Retribution chose to remain mostly true to the Codex Astartes after their secession from the Imperium. They are divided into 10 Companies numbering roughly 100 Marines each. They did choose to change some titles: Adminion has become a master of naval warfare and his official title is Lord Captain Adminion, as he is the Captain of the Hand of Retribution battle-barge and its accompanying fleet. Each company is led by a Company Master-at-Arms rather than a Captain. Notable Sons - Lord Captain Adminion: Commander of the Sons of Retribution and captain of the Hand of Retribution Battle-barge and its accompanying fleet. - Company Master-at-Arms Cirrius of “The Valiant 3rd”: Recruited during the first wave of recruitments by the Chapter from the nomadic tribes on Parsus IV - First-Mate Garrick: Non-Astartes second-in-command on the bridge of the Hand of Retribution Notable Companies - Sons of Retribution “The Spearhead” 1st Company: The first wave in any boarding action onto an enemy ship. - “The Valiant 3rd” Sons of Retribution 3rd Company: The ground forces of the Sons of Retribution. Notable Conflicts: - The Dalkolin Defense: The chapters first known conflict in which they defended the Hive-City Dalkolin from an unknown Ork Waagh! Invasion - “Great Shame”: The given name of the failed campaign to defend Parsus IV from a Chaos incursion. Each surviving member from this campaign has painted any one area of their armor black to symbolize the shame of their defeat and their determination for retribution. - The defeat of Inquisitor Lord Dethias: This is the Chapter’s first conflict with the Imperium. Upon learning of the Chapter’s secession, Inquisitor Lord Dethias turned his fleet in pursuit of the Sons of Retribution. The chase lasted nearly twelve years before the two fleets met in open combat. Adminion showed his skill as a fleet Captain, crippling many vessels in the Inquisitor's fleet, and the Sons displayed their boarding ability. Defeating the forces on board the vessel and capturing Dethias himself. The defeated fleet was raided for supplies and whatever vessels still functioned were absorbed into the Sons of Retribution Fleet. Inquisitor Lord Dethias was put into an escape pod and shot onto the charred remains of Parsus IV. BELIEFS The Sons of Retribution have renounced the Emperor and the Imperium. They now see themselves as the servants of the people. For this they are hunted by the Imperium and loved by many of its servants. While the Chapter despises the Imperium, so too do they share its hate the Heretic and the Alien. They will actively seek the forces of Chaos in the Centaurus Arm with the intention of eradicating them, and will engage the Xenos forces whenever they are found. BATTLE CRY AND MOTTO “For the preservation of Man!” “Sit transit gloria Dues” – The High Gothic phrase that Company Master-at-Arms Cirrius muttered under his breath as Inquisitor Lord Dethias condemned his home world to Exterminatus. (Roughly translated as “Thus passes the glory of God.” In reference to the Emperor of Man.) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/258613-the-sons-of-retribution-take-2/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
voi shet magir Posted August 9, 2012 Share Posted August 9, 2012 My favorite part is the suggestion that Black Templars have sergeants, since it may upset people. In some iteration, somewhere, there is every possibility that they do have marines an archivist could refer to as sergeants. You might prefer to call it a secession instead of a cessation. Apart from that, space marines are mostly aloof from the rest of the Imperium. There is very little self determination they can get from seceding that they do not have already. You think it is interesting that the Imperium are dysfunctional misanthropes and your chapter rejects that. The problem is that you are expecting either that other people already feel this revulsion toward the Imperium, or that the exterminatus provokes it. The exterminatus is abrupt and artificial, so I do not believe anything about it and it does not move me to any feelings toward anyone. The chapter do not seem to experience any conflict between one reaction and another, so I don't feel anything about it either. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/258613-the-sons-of-retribution-take-2/#findComment-3144660 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Captain Cirrius Posted August 9, 2012 Author Share Posted August 9, 2012 My favorite part is the suggestion that Black Templars have sergeants, since it may upset people. In some iteration, somewhere, there is every possibility that they do have marines an archivist could refer to as sergeants. I got rid of the word sargent You might prefer to call it a secession instead of a cessation. I KNEW that wasn't the word I was looking for! <_< Stupid spell check haha. I think I got them all. Also worked out some very annoying glitches and added another notable conflict. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/258613-the-sons-of-retribution-take-2/#findComment-3144747 Share on other sites More sharing options...
mysteriousmaskedmystery Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 i realize that different people can have differing ideas of what 40k is, but if you are going to do this, come up with something better than one exterminatus turning them against the imperium. even the most "humane" of chapters still has to accept and deal with the harsh realities of what it takes to ensure humanity's survival in the 41st millennium. why does your chapter blame the imperium for the loss of their home world when they obviously failed to ensure its purity. why weren't they punished in the first place. perhaps you haven't filled in all of your IA yet, but it seems like the most central aspect of their character is being sort of glossed over in what i have read so far. why are they adherents to the codex astartes when they hate the imperium? explain why, there could be good reasons, but, "they voted on it and said sure, we'll stick with it" doesn't add anything to the chapter. how are they loyal-renegade? their home was exterminated and they chose to leave the imperium and do their own thing? if they hate what the imperium stands for, wouldn't they actively work against it? do they fight other imperial forces to protect humans? why are they so 'humane' in the first place? how were they able to just slip away after the inq arrived, most likely with naval or IG support to carry out their exterminatus, without any other sort of sanction or dialogue? the inq bombed the world and just moved on, leaving the chapter without another word? what shape is your chapter in after fighting for its own home? were their losses significant? what did the rest of the chapter think of their break with the imperium? certainly they couldn't have all just been ok with it? they are breaking the most important and binding oath of all, how can that not effect their character more profoundly? i'm not a fan of the, "we love people" i marines myself, but if that's the angle you're going, that's fine i guess, but even putting that aside, i have to agree, there isn't anything about your chapter's character to make it engaging. marines are paragons of strength, loyalty and dedication, but at a price. they are inhumane, often arrogant and their determined, single-mindedness can often be their undoing. marines are one of the central aspects of 40k because they aren't perfect, they are tortured, deranged demi-gods who sacrifice their humanity so that other may live to enjoy their own. they are stolen as children and reborn as marines, and they give up much of what it means to be human. in many ways they are incapable of even empathizing with normal people because they are so different, and what their training and indoctrination doesn't take from them, a century or two of nearly constant warfare will. they are beings with shattered minds and souls held together by bonds of brotherhood and loyalty and they break the most important of those bonds, how can they not be changed? where is the conflict in them that makes them interesting? it's why people don't like the UM, they don't have a dark side, what is there for them to over-come within themselves? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/258613-the-sons-of-retribution-take-2/#findComment-3145389 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Orlunu Posted August 10, 2012 Share Posted August 10, 2012 Also, not that many of the Imperium's subjects would love them. Think of a Black Templar upon discovering that the funny looking guy who had just saved his squad was an Eldar. The same as the comments above, I think that them losing their homeworld to chaos is a little bit their own fault. Maybe if it was a problem a bit less black and white we would feel more about it and it would give them better reason. The less clean-cut the events are, the more emotion they will cause, we want to have an opinion other than 'meh' when the 3.5 bazillion people burn. -_- This is a very "feelingy" IA, for that to work the reader needs to feel, well, feelings and stuff. :( But I think that that is something that will come with further description. ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/258613-the-sons-of-retribution-take-2/#findComment-3145553 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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