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The 40k cave of wonders


Torva Minoris

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OH OH!

 

A page from the works of Kallimakus - It could give one of your players a minor psychic power or something.

 

The Holy Hand Grenade of Antioche.

"O Lord, bless this thy hand grenade, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny bits, in thy mercy. And the Lord did grin. And the people did feast upon the lambs and sloths, and carp and anchovies, and orangutans and breakfast cereals, and fruit-bats and large chu..."

"And the Lord spake, saying, "First shalt thou take out the Holy Pin. Then shalt thou count to three, no more, no less. Three shall be the number thou shalt count, and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt thou not count, neither count thou two, excepting that thou then proceed to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being the third number, be reached, then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch towards thy foe, who, being naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. "

Stolen from here

  • 2 weeks later...

A second millennium computer/robot;

A preserved Zoat;

A complete set of Deathwatch armor with a Sons of Horus shoulder pad;

A Bible;

A copy of the 40K rulebook;

A vial of Melange;

A preserved Sandworm;

A bretonian set of armor;

The hammer of Sigmar;

Eldar soul crystals;

Some miniatures;

The preserved body of Elvis Presley;

The Longinus spear;

The Holy Grail;

A tombstone with the sentence "I Am Providence" engraved on it;

A towel with the number 42 embroidered on it;

The 2001's Monolith;

A NASA Space Shuttle;

A Da Vinci picture.

  • 3 weeks later...
  • 3 weeks later...
  • 2 weeks later...

A jar that doubles what ever you put into it.

 

Step 1:Tell the players exactly that.

Step 2: hope you have a puritan member in the group

Step 3: When player goes to retrieve doubled money/ammo/item of worth, inform them they have suddebly got two hands on that arm....

Step 4: hilarity ensures

Step 5: realise they shouldnt be dealing with a tzeentch deamon

-The other other white meat.

-Unsolveable rubix cube.

-An official sisters of battle codex.

-A copy of codex grey knights.

-The preffered enemy special rule (he tells you their secrets).

-A bottle of lotion and a slave to apply it.

-An overly attached plague bearer.

-Half a puppy.

-A daemonette wielding a copy of 50 shades of grey.

-A khorne beserker, that time of the month.

-Imperial standard issue woopy cusion.

-Leman russ.

-The other half.

- vial of Smallpox.

- copy of the Bible, or any other ancient holy book.

- handheld gellar field.

- untainted geneseed from a traitor legion.

- a map of a stable route through the maelstrom.

- a child of the emperor, in stasis.

- a master copy of Archmagus Delithire's The Complete Summation of Stasis Technology and Underlying Theory.

- a living Necrontyr.

- daemonweapons

- An Enslaver.

  • 3 weeks later...

 

A jar that doubles what ever you put into it.

 

Step 1:Tell the players exactly that.

Step 2: hope you have a puritan member in the group

Step 3: When player goes to retrieve doubled money/ammo/item of worth, inform them they have suddebly got two hands on that arm....

Step 4: hilarity ensures

Step 5: realise they shouldnt be dealing with a tzeentch deamon

 

 

Beautiful! That is exactly the sort of non-sense that I was looking for, perfect for conveying that everything does what it says on the tin.... exactly what it says on the tin!!

 

I got a greedy player who plays a less than pious ecclesiarch priest who is going to hate this. :P

 

As you say, you shouldn't deal with tzeentch daemons.

A Mirror made of sentinent glass that shows you not how you appear but how your soul appears... except the vision of your soul is from a year ago. Leads players to believe that they are immune to the path of the radical becuase their soul isn't being leeched or stained until its far too late.

 

The preserved body of a random Imperial Saint

 

Daemonic Sword (well, more of a knife, but who can say where a knife ends and a sword begins?) that speaks and houses two telepathic daemonic personalities - the squeemish and artistic Dandillion and the murderous Krindle.

 

A small crystal whose ability to tap and reflect light is of such beauty that it becomes increasingly addictive for the owner.

 

The Eldar Wand, True Cloak of Invisibility and the Ressurection Stone

 

The Emperor's Diaries M20-21

 

Proof that the Fifty Shades trilogy never happened - a secret that if revealed would bring peace of mind to Mankind.

 

And so forth

 

Beautiful! That is exactly the sort of non-sense that I was looking for, perfect for conveying that everything does what it says on the tin.... exactly what it says on the tin!!

 

I got a greedy player who plays a less than pious ecclesiarch priest who is going to hate this. :P

 

As you say, you shouldn't deal with tzeentch daemons.

Glad to help, Let us know how it goes.

 

another that could be used is an item that makes everyone in the room look at it when it clicks. maybe a switch or similar. not connected to owt but when it clicks, everyone within the room (or Los/hearing distance/whatever) instantly has to look at the item.

 

Now think about that, if thats what they are looking at, say while using a MUI link up, or a targetter... basically its an amazing way to have some...creative destruction. servitors instantly snap fire towards it, shoulder mounted psycanons open up, astropaths 3rd eye sears towards it. utter destruction. esp if the players are either very clever with it or very ignorant of it.

 

An invisibilty device that requires the person to be naked can also be funny, as it means they can infiltrate well, but they are as well equiped as the day they were born once they are inside lol.

 

A map that shows areas you want to see (including guard movements etc), but exactly what it looks like, in reverse. so you prepare to storm a room, consult the device, burst in spraying to the right, only to realise the guard whoes marking the door is jsut to your left...

 An invisibilty device that requires the person to be naked can also be funny, as it means they can infiltrate well, but they are as well equiped as the day they were born once they are inside lol.

So, it only conceals your organic bits, or is it psychically attuned to only conceal those things that a character regards as part of their mental self image?

 

If the former, I can see the techpriest jumping on it as a diagnostic tool to check out the operation of their bionic bits, or being used to inspect new people for suspected hidden bionics and concealed compartments.

 

If the latter, you could wind up with characters who've worn say a digital weapon embedded wedding ring for the last score of years who manage to conceal it.

 

Needs some thought into how it interacts with 40k's transhumanist themes.

 

So, it only conceals your organic bits, or is it psychically attuned to only conceal those things that a character regards as part of their mental self image?

 

If the former, I can see the techpriest jumping on it as a diagnostic tool to check out the operation of their bionic bits, or being used to inspect new people for suspected hidden bionics and concealed compartments.

 

If the latter, you could wind up with characters who've worn say a digital weapon embedded wedding ring for the last score of years who manage to conceal it.

 

Needs some thought into how it interacts with 40k's transhumanist themes.

 

 

This is the beauty of this type of object. it is whatever you wish. If you want to give the players one thing, or the other its up to you to say how its linked.

 

Addiotnally it could only make the wearer think they are invisible. They have been told only others who are psykers can see them. So give that to a witch hunter and everyone can still see them but they are convinced they are invisble to normal men, meaning anyone who reacts must be a witch!

  • 4 weeks later...

 

- a child of the emperor, in stasis.

 

One of the Sensei? (One of the Emperor's descendants, covered back in Realm of Chaos: The Lost and the Damned) That would be cool. Maybe kept trapped so he can't achieve apotheosis?

 

Let's see what I can add to this.

- A book of a mad prophet that contains mention of the Star Child.

- A piece of "The Hydra" (From the Jaq Draco novels).

- The weapons and/or armour of Droombreed from when he was still mortal.

- Lady Malys' real heart.

- A deck of the Emperor's Tarot that actually causes an event somewhere in the galaxy depending on what cards are drawn.

- The Sword of Luther, having mysteriously vanished before Interrogater-Chapain Uzziel could deliver it to Asmodai (short story The Black Pearl featured in Into The Maelstrom).

- A shard of The Outsider (the 4th remaining C'tan, as yet to rise from slumber).

- The original texts of Richter Kless (Liber Chaotica).

- The end result of Fabius Bile's research, retrieved from the future.

- An explaination to why named Daemon characters can appear in both 40k and Fantasy despite the claim the two universes are not connected.

- A pair of white mice in stasis.

- A copy of the Kaban Machine AI.

- Scandelous photos of Guilliman's early years, depicting him wearing nothing but ladies undergarments, engaged in an immoral liason with a daemonette and a gretchin.

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