Storm Krakens

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

So guys. Every once in a while I find myself with a need to create a chapter idea. Now, this doesn't usually pan out so well but this one, this one will be done.

Why?

Because it involves Krakens. End of story :lol:

History

We are conquerors, brothers, and thus it is not in our nature to sit idle and let the empire our primarch fathers have built fall prey to our countless enemies. No, it is our nature to take the fight to them. - Grand master of the Dark Angels

The Storm Krakens were formed in the 22nd Founding on the Eastern Fringe, to deal with the growing xenos threats there. With the training cadre coming from the Consecrators and bearing Dark Angel geneseed, the Krakens proceeded to settle on Vriskan, a world that had recently been discovered and had accepted the Imperium with open arms. With the introduction of Imperial tech and knowledge of the wider universe to the already advanced Vriskans, the world began to fortify itself and became a stronghold of might against the enemies of man. The Krakens, eager to eliminate any threats to their prosperous world began to expand the reach of the Imperium so that Vriskan would not be on the frontline.

The Storm Krakens simply never stopped doing this. Most of the chapter came to accept this as it was and viewed themselves as crusaders, claiming and reclaiming the worlds for the dominion of mankind. Vriskan is now a thriving center of commerce and trade, directing materials, armies and traders to the front against the Tau and Tyranids. The worlds closest to the ocean planet have long since become bastions and great boons to the Imperial economy themselves. The ideal of building up has continually followed in the wake of the Krakens and like the chapter's namesake Vriskan spread it's wealth and strength into what was once nothing but darkness to the Imperium of man.

If not for the Fallen, it is probably that such success would have never happened, for under the surface the chapter has been driven ever onward by the hunt for the traitors of Caliban. Indeed, the decree from one Chapter Master to next is always the same - "There will always be those traitors who seek to hide where they think the sons of the Lion will not find them. We cannot allow them to escape and gather strength. So go, as is your duty, veteran of the Inner Circle. Hunt them down until there are no more and we are no longer the Unforgiven Legion." These are the words given by the senior Grand Master of the Consecrators to the new Chapter Master of the Storm Krakens, and have since become tradition.

As all chapters must, the Storm Krakens continued to give their geneseed tithes to the Mechanicus. The 23rd Founding passed, and then eventually it came time for the 24th Founding. The Krakens' crusade had come to a standstill because of the distance between the frontline and Vriskan and so they volunteered one of their rising heroes to lead a new chapter. The High Lords agreed to this and thus the Grail Wardens were formed, assigned to protect the swathe of the galaxy that had been conquered by the Storm Krakens. Freed from Vriskan, the Krakens began to escort Mechanicus Explorator fleets in much greater bulk and once again started to reach out for new worlds to bring into Imperial fold. Here, however, they have been slowed by something far more dangerous - the Astronimicon continues to dim and the further the Krakens go the harder their Navigators are strained.

One of the greatest hindrances to the Krakens' progress and threats to their still developing domain is the Black Thorn. Their name is truly fitting, for their efforts have been an immovable sufferance to the chapter. The warband was once thought conquered during M38, as the chapter continued to expand. As the worlds once held by the Black Thorn had their defences shattered and most of the Chaotic forces dead or repentant, the chapter of the First Legion flagged the world for purification and reclamation by the Ecclessiarchy and moved on. A few months later, the warband began to strike many of the vulnerable worlds recently joined to the Imperium. Furious, the chapter returned only to find husks and a few survivors fearful of the very marines trying to save them. Though the Krakens have managed to fight and destroy forces belonging to the Black Thorn, the more frequent occurrence is that very little life remains and it is all afraid of marines in black and orange armor. The warband seems to have made its colors a twisted version of the Storm Krakens' own image. The Black Thorn has become particularly despised because of this and to score a kill on these warriors, who vanish as soon as loyalists forces assemble, is seen as a sign of the Emperor's personal blessing.

As the chapter began to reach out past the Astronimicon they began to encounter another chapter that refused to identify itself, but bore armor of grey. The Krakens have taken to calling them 'Shamed Ones' as a result, as a joke about the inevitable thought that the chapter has something to hide. The Inner Circle among the Krakens have all been particularly amused at this nickname. The more the Shamed Ones were encountered the stronger the Black Thorn began to attack, and many in the chapter have thought this related. However, the grey chapter has never fired on or assaulted the Storm Krakens, even with numerous incidents where the Shamed Ones clearly had the upper hand over the sons of the Lion. This does not show much affection for the chapter however, and the Krakens for their own part are not very fond of the Shamed Ones either as they have been directly responsible for allowing a Fallen to escape, albeit unwittingly. Thus, the two chapters do much to avoid each other.

It is speculated that without Captain James Fynch, the Black Thorn would have long since ceased to exist, let alone continue to steadily draw blood from the Storm Krakens. Originally one of the sergeants of the First Company, James Fynch had risen to his rank slowly indeed. Constantly proven second best in the wargames, achievements and almost every other standard placed against the chapter's astartes. It was not one particular marine that continually proved himself better, but many, as Fynch moved from scout, to tactical, and finally to the First Company. On the surface, he would gain favor quickly with his superiors and gained leadership roles over individual squads. From there, however, he went nowhere, becoming senior sergeant in each position while others were promoted, even from his own squad. Often this was only because James Fynch was unwilling to sacrifice the marines beside him, and would withhold his squad from striking until the advantage was with them. Even when he began to plan his treachery, he protected his brothers to the very end of his loyalty to the chapter.

As a result more than a few followed Fynch when he left the chapter. When the Black Thorn was first found by the Storm Krakens, the traitor fled to them. Knowing that Krakens would destroy the warband within a year Fynch took possession of the warband's fleet. Gathering some new followers, the now company strong warband fled from the warzone, undetected by the chapter. For a decade, the new Black Thorn fed on the worlds supplying the Storm Krakens discreetly, masquerading as loyalist astartes, with Fynch titling as the captain of the force. Eventually his own force referred to him as captain, a title thought unique among the various warlords of Chaos. After nine years of quietly growing the Black Thorn's power, Captain James Fynch decided the advantage was with him and began to strike once more.

Vriskan, homeworld of the Storm Krakens

The world of Vriskan is one of power, chained tightly behind the bonds of civilization. Those chains have given it new strength, however. - Admiral Cutlett of the Imperial Navy

Vriskan is the fourth world orbiting the star Karkation, bearing two moons. Salt water covers almost all of the surface of Vriskan, teeming with all manner of life forms. There are over five hundred shark species alone, and crabs, cephalopods, algae and countless other marine forms exist in the great ocean of Vriskan. The Krakens are easily the greatest predators of these waters, as they are huge monsters, often a full mile in length as adults and having lived a century to even reach that point. They are exceptionally rare specimens however, and all thirty four are closely monitored to ensure the specie's survival. More than a few think this is unnecessary, as they are naturally incredibly difficult to kill.

Indeed, these creatures have always been the tale of fear and warning to the young sailors who sail between the seven floating cities. These have drawn the attention of the Adeptus Mechanicus and caused a great debate among their orders. Some believe the cities to be STCs, others, something created by the natives long ago. Both sides fear that their opponents might be right - if they are STCs, then they are surely invaluable and must be saved at all costs, but if they are not, then the cities are vile tech-heresy and must be destroyed. The Vriskans observe the arguments with some bemusement, and simply continue to fish, trade, and prepare for the storms.

The clockwork storms are the other object of fear amongst the people of Vriskan. The two moons, Kanyan and Terezion, pull at the tides and waves of the ocean world and do so directly opposite of each other. At the equinox - when Karkation and Terezion pull the water in the same direction - the highest peak on the other end of the planet is revealed, pointing straight at Terezion. Six of the cities use this hour long event to anchor themselves to the now available solid ground. The last city moves with the waters at the equinox, only doing so because it is the largest construct and thus the only one able to resist being overwhelmed by the initial rising of waters. When the equinox ends and the the star's grip no longer works with Karkation, the waters rush back across the world to spread evenly once more. The sheer volume of water and the momentum created cause a tsunami to rage as it sweeps Vriskan, and despite being much diluted by time it reaches the six anchored cities it is still a terrifying force that claims any who are not heavily sheltered from the storm. Even the great Kraken are disturbed by this annual event. Eventually, however, the storm abates, and the day that it does the new year is marked and celebration comes to the people of Vriskan.

When the celebrations abate after the the start of the new year, the Krakens descend on the six tethered cities and proceed to test any willing recruits. First and foremost is the test for genetic compatibility to the geneseed, allowing the chapter to waylay many of the risks of taking in those who could possibly reject and destroy the geneseed given to them, though there are always those who cannot be joined to the flesh of the Lion. After that the candidates are put through a battery of physical, mental and spiritual competitions and tests. Most of these give the advantage towards those who act aggressively and seize the opportunities presented, but punish those who are too cautious. The Krakens have always adopted a stance of letting no chance go unused and attacking any weak point relentlessly and they pass these lessons on to the newest generations of young astartes.

Combat Doctine

"Colonel, send word to the chapter. The enemy is in position. Release the Kraken." Commissar Cambrossa of the Balypsan regiment

The Krakens prefer ambushes and overwhelming force to tip the odds in their favor. Often times the enemy will find large detachments of orange and black astartes waiting for them deep inside the enemy's own territory. These actions tend to leave the chapter's own positions woefully understrength, much to the dismay of the people they are trying to protect. While this is somewhat balanced out that many attacks made by the opposing forces never reach Imperial lines because they were destroyed long before they could come close, most of the Kraken's allies would prefer that the astartes stand beside them, instead of ranging out where only the chapter can track them.

The few times that an ally has been allowed to see one of the surprise attacks made by the Krakens that friend has been shocked to see the ferocity of the chapter's assault. It is neither similar to the mad charges of the sons of Russ nor to the ponderous advances made by the Imperial Fists. No, an attack made by the Krakens is one that capitalizes on shock and simple relentlessness. Once an attack has been made it has been committed to and every Kraken knows the rule - always take one step forward. The entire force will walk in perfect synchronization as has been drilled into them since they donned their scout carapace and as they do so they will be enacting plans made as soon as the first enemy came in sight. Most squads have a designated 'headhunter' - the one who has the best markmanship and thus will snap shots to remove the oppositions leadership. The rest of the squad will typically pick out their targets and the sequence in which they will be slaughtered when the ambush begins. The sergeant is responsible for allowing the squad to adapt and directing them to take advantage of anything that will particularly benefit the chapter or weaken their foes. This style of warfare has become the trademark of the Krakens and they bear it with pride.

Organization -

Before the breaking from Vriskan, the Storm Krakens followed the Codex Astartes like any other chapter, albeit with its parts being very free-ranged and independent. Once they became a fleet based chapter, however, their structuring changed to suit their new status. Taking a page from the parent chapter of the First Legion, the battle companies began to take care of their own recruitment and the First Company broke apart to join the battle companies as company veterans. This was vital to allowing the Storm Krakens to spread their range and power further, as the companies would not need to resupply their manpower nearly as often.

Once this was complete the chapter then decided to split the remaining companies into three separate battlegroups. The 2nd, 7th, 8th and 9th companies and the chapter command boarded the Compass of War, a venerable and ancient Battle-barge created for the Krakens when they were first created, accompanied by most of the chapter's supporting fleet. The 3rd and 6th companies embarked upon the strike cruisers The Herald of the Storm and Maw of the Ocean, while the 4th and 5th companies took command of the strike cruisers Clarity of Judgement and Wrath of the Monsoon. Rally points were designated amongst the reach of the Eastern Fringe and the chapter bid farewell to their young successor chapter, before launching their crusade against the traitorous and the xenos that threatened the Imperium.

Color scheme -

[Messor]

So guys. Every once in a while I find myself with a need to create a chapter idea. Now, this doesn't usually pan out so well but this one, this one will be done.

 

Why?

 

Because it involves Krakens. End of story :lol:

 

And what better reason could there possibly be? Some people have all the luck XD

 

edit: I want to see something ugly come out of the Carcharodon Rivalry! Redundant forces? Like tentacles?

[Aqui]

So guys. Every once in a while I find myself with a need to create a chapter idea. Now, this doesn't usually pan out so well but this one, this one will be done.

 

Why?

 

Because it involves Krakens. End of story :P

 

As long as we don't all start arguing about how Kraken is pronounced ;)

 

 

Ahem, anyways, on to the IA. Let's start with some bones first, or at least cartilage, because the close relatives of the Kraken (that is to say, the octopi and squid) don't actually have bones. Just lots of cartilage.

 

- The chapter is stationed in the Eastern Fringe, created in the 22nd Founding

- Very independent from other Imperial forces

- Fleet based (surprise surprise ;) ) but only patrols a growing section of the Eastern Fringe. The chapter's reach expands as it continually sets up outposts and supply lines in the star systems it fights in.

- The chapter spends a lot of its effort escorting Mechanicus explorator fleets as well, with the promise of support for doing the above.

 

Does this Fleet have a specific remit? As in, are they after worlds that have resources (minerals, etc), or is there another reason?

 

- Most of the companies act on their own, but each has the same goal in mind (which is to gain power for the chapter and Imperium).

- Combat tactics focus heavily on redundant forces to ensure victory, especially with those forces coming from an unexpected direction. Distractions are often used to get the enemy in the perfect position to be overwhelmed. The chapter suffers as a defensive force however.

- The Krakens have a very Great Crusade type mentality. This galaxy belongs to man, and they believe that sitting back and waiting for the enemy to take it from the Imperium is exactly why it's in the state it's in. They recognize the need for defensive forces, but do not see themselves as one.

 

Fair enough :) Do they draw their "Great Crusade" mentaility directly from Pre Heresy times? I.e. Do they look at their Parent Chapter/Legion and try to emulate them, or is it something that they come to in their own way?

 

- The above belief cause the chapter to most abandon their homeworld and fortress monastery to their successor chapter (name pending). It is an ocean world with the humans living on floating hives. There are a few islands formed by the underwater volcanoes, but these are largely uninhabited. The Mechanicus is given free reign to study the floating hives so as not to disturb the peace between the two forces. It is uncertain whether or not these are true STCs or something created by the civilization as it was found.

- The chapter has a long standing feud with the Carcharadons, claiming to have lost a company on the edge of Imperial space due to 'grey armoured astartes'. The Carcharadons haven't bothered to respond to this accusation.

 

 

Ok, I think that's it for now. Let me know what you guys think :D

 

I take it then that the Original Chapter would have had to have been around for some time to have a (newish) Successor Chapter to adopt their world then. Have you any idea how old they'll be at this point?

 

A feud with the Space Sharks? (Sorry Carcharadons - cool name but I'm usually lazy when typing out names of certain Chapters :lol: ) Sounds cool enough. Who started it? A genuine misunderstanding or two Chapters butting heads because they can?

 

Have you got any Geneline in mind for them? From what I've read Imperial Fists would fit quite well (Stubborn, many Successors including the IF themselves are Fleet based in some form or another), or Iron hands (stubborn, good relations with the Ad Mech...)

 

Looking forward to seeing more ;)

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

And what better reason could there possibly be? Some people have all the luck XD

 

edit: I want to see something ugly come out of the Carcharodon Rivalry! Redundant forces? Like tentacles?

 

I make my own luck - I actually came across Red Kraken, and while I thought the red part was not cool, Kraken is just awesome. If you can't tell, I am slightly biased for octopi and squid and all the related marine life, including (especially including) the ever mythological Kraken. So I made a quick revision to the name so that I liked it more and made it work. I'm playing with Steel Krakens in my head as well.

 

As for the EDIT, yeah, I'm going to try and mess around between the two chapters. Tentacles, kinda. I was thinking more of the ends of the tentacles. There are multiple sucking pads, and even if one or two or even three don't manage to stick the ten others do and when they pull away from whatever the prey is, they're going to be taking chunks and causing a lot of pain. Similarily, with the redundant forces not all of them will be successful, but the cluster of force is going to tear the enemy a new one.

 

As long as we don't all start arguing about how Kraken is pronounced.

 

Krah - Ken? Are there other ways?

 

Does this Fleet have a specific remit? As in, are they after worlds that have resources (minerals, etc), or is there another reason?

 

Not really, general expansion of the Imperium. Sheparding colonists to agri-worlds, working with Sisters to build Shrine Worlds, etc, so long as the newly consecrated world can be properly used for the Imperium and mankind.

 

Do they draw their "Great Crusade" mentality directly from Pre Heresy times? I.e. Do they look at their Parent Chapter/Legion and try to emulate them, or is it something that they come to in their own way?

 

I'm not sure yet. I'll play around with both ideas in my head until I get something I like, thanks :D

 

 

I take it then that the Original Chapter would have had to have been around for some time to have a (newish) Successor Chapter to adopt their world then. Have you any idea how old they'll be at this point?

 

 

 

How about two Foundings later, 24th Founding? Does that sound reasonable? I might have to make them older. As for the feud, I think I'll have it over territory, as they are both expanding the reaches of the Imperium. One chapter gets in the way of the other, neither are willing to play nice with the other, gunfire breaks out... the rest, becomes history I haven't typed yet.

 

Have you got any Geneline in mind for them? From what I've read Imperial Fists would fit quite well (Stubborn, many Successors including the IF themselves are Fleet based in some form or another), or Iron hands (stubborn, good relations with the Ad Mech...)

 

Imperial Fists? Good Emperor no. I'm slightly prejudiced... the only good thing to come of Dorn's genes are the Black Templars. It'll probably be Iron Hands. Maybe even Salamanders. I could always go back to Ultramarines, not enough Liberites do those.

 

Looking forward to seeing more :P

Thanks :P

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

What if they were Dark Angels, searching for Fallen on the boundaries of the galaxy and Imperium and expanding the Imperial reach so that it would be harder for the Fallen to escape? They have a feud with the Carcharadons because they interfered with a possible lead and unwittingly continue to do so as the chapter searches :)

 

Or is this just ludicrous?

[Messor]

As long as we don't all start arguing about how Kraken is pronounced.

 

Krah - Ken? Are there other ways?

 

 

Well, in the original Scandanavian....

 

How about two Foundings later, 24th Founding? Does that sound reasonable? I might have to make them older.

 

Two foundings is what I went with for my successors of successors.

 

Imperial Fists? Good Emperor no. I'm slightly prejudiced... the only good thing to come of Dorn's genes are the Black Templars. It'll probably be Iron Hands. Maybe even Salamanders. I could always go back to Ultramarines, not enough Liberites do those.

 

Ouch, burn. I like the idea of Iron Hands, that heritage of beliefs will make it easy to incorporate icon/symbol-based conversion. Then again, there's already the servo harness of the techpriest with multiple arms. Whenever I think about it altogether I'm only picturing Iron Hands or Blood Angels. It'll be interesting to see how it turns out if you go with someone unusual. I could almost see the Dark Angels, but I have trouble associating 'Blood Krakens' with Dark Angels. Their genealogy of names always seemed more stoic.

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

What if they were Dark Angels, searching for Fallen on the boundaries of the galaxy and Imperium and expanding the Imperial reach so that it would be harder for the Fallen to escape? They have a feud with the Carcharadons because they interfered with a possible lead and unwittingly continue to do so as the chapter searches :)

 

Or is this just ludicrous?

 

Not at all in my opinion. I find it very plausible. The Dark Angels believe that they are going to embark on a crusade when the Lion re-awakes, im sure the mentality would not be hard to make its way into actual crusading like you have in mind along with hunting the Fallen. I think the only extra factor to bring into it would be their relationship with the Legion, do they subscribe to the Legion command/Inner Circle? Any fallouts? I always find this bit of a DA successor the most interesting to play with!

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Well, in the original Scandanavian....

Point taken :o

Two foundings is what I went with for my successors of successors.

I'll take that as a green light then!

Ouch, burn. I like the idea of Iron Hands, that heritage of beliefs will make it easy to incorporate icon/symbol-based conversion. Then again, there's already the servo harness of the techpriest with multiple arms. Whenever I think about it altogether I'm only picturing Iron Hands or Blood Angels. It'll be interesting to see how it turns out if you go with someone unusual. I could almost see the Dark Angels, but I have trouble associating 'Blood Krakens' with Dark Angels. Their genealogy of names always seemed more stoic.

Aye. Like I said I'm still messing around with the names a bit, I'll keep the 'stoic names' thought in mind, because I'm liking the DA idea the more I think about it. Thank you, I wouldn't have realized that had you not said something and the disconnect of theme would have hurt the IA :tu:

Not at all in my opinion. I find it very plausible. The Dark Angels believe that they are going to embark on a crusade when the Lion re-awakes, I'm sure the mentality would not be hard to make its way into actual crusading like you have in mind along with hunting the Fallen. I think the only extra factor to bring into it would be their relationship with the Legion, do they subscribe to the Legion command/Inner Circle? Any fallouts? I always find this bit of a DA successor the most interesting to play with!

Hmmmmmmm, ok. So I can steal the crusading bit from the DAs as well, and not just have it as a 'cover up belief' (to cover up for the true hunting of Fallen). As to the relationship to the Legion, it would probably be very loose before the feud with the Carcharadons started and then once the Krakens started having problems with the chapter they went to the Legion and said 'hey the Space Sharks are douchebags, just FYI.' The Legion would probably not appreciate one not so closely knit to suddenly come to them with problems, but they would consider what to do with the two chapters. They don't have quite the same structure of the Inner Circle that the rest of the Legion does, either. I think it might stay with the individual captains of the chapter, so that they can see and determine when and where a Fallen is present, but other than they and the big five of a chapter, no one knows.

EDIT: Also just because I can -

[Messor]

Sir, that is one of the most Bada$$ heraldry schemes I've ever seen. Unless inspiration decides to beat you in the head any more, I say roll with it, it's epic.

[Olis]

Nice scheme. I'd go with that. :D

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Thanks guys, I'll keep it then ;)

 

So I started expanding the history a little bit, and I ended up writing more than I intended to... as always, let me know what you guys think :P

 

History -

The Storm Krakens were formed in the 22nd Founding on the Eastern Fringe, to deal with the growing xenos threats there. With the training cadre coming from the Consecrators and bearing Dark Angel geneseed, the Krakens proceeded to settle on Vriskan, a world that had recently been discovered and had accepted the Imperium with open arms. With the introduction of Imperial tech and knowledge of the wider universe to the already advanced Vriskans, the world began to fortify itself and became a stronghold against the enemies of man. The Krakens, eager to eliminate any threats to their prosperous world began to expand the reach of the Imperium so that Vriskan would not be on the frontline.

 

The Storm Krakens simply never stopped doing this. Most of the chapter came to accept this as it was and viewed themselves as crusaders, claiming and reclaiming the worlds for the dominion of mankind. Vriskan is now a thriving center of commerce and trade, directing materials, armies and traders to the front against the Tau and Tyranids. The worlds closest to the ocean planet have long since become bastions and great boons to the Imperial economy themselves. The ideal of building up has continually followed in the wake of the Krakens and like the chapter's namesake Vriskan spread it's wealth and strength into what was once nothing but darkness to the Imperium of man.

 

If not for the Fallen, it is probably that such success would have never happened, for the chapter has been driven ever onward by the hunt for the traitors of Caliban. Indeed, the decree from one Chapter Master to next is always the same - "There will always be those traitors who seek to hide where they think the sons of the Lion will not find them. We cannot allow them to escape and gather strength. So go, as is your duty, veteran of the Inner Circle. Hunt them down until there are no more and we are no longer the Unforgiven Legion." These are the words given by the senior Grand Master of the Consecrators to the new Chapter Master of the Storm Krakens, and have since become tradition.

 

As all chapters must, the Storm Krakens continued to give their geneseed tithes to the Mechanicus. The 23rd Founding passed, and then eventually it came time for the 24th Founding. The Krakens' crusade had come to a standstill because of the distance between the frontline and Vriskan and so they volunteered one of their rising heroes to lead a new chapter. The High Lords agreed to this and thus the Grail Wardens were formed, assigned to protect the swathe of the galaxy that had been conquered by the Storm Krakens. Freed from Vriskan, the Krakens began to escort Mechanicus Explorator fleets in much greater bulk and once again started to reach out for new worlds to bring into Imperial fold. Here, however, they have been slowed by something far more dangerous - the Astronimicon continues to dim and the further the Krakens go the harder their Navigators are strained.

 

'sidebar'

Another trouble stymies the efforts of the chapter - the Carcharadons do their own patrols in the dark beyond the Emperor's light. Both chapters are of very independent nature, and it is perhaps inevitable that they would become competitors for vast reach of unclaimed space. Neither chapter hesitated to take their relationship into a feud however. The Krakens, normally more hesitant to cause offence, were spurned as the very first encounter between the two was when the grey armoured astartes inadverently interfered with the pursuit of a Fallen. The traitor escaped because of the Carcharadon's involvement, and the Kraken captain, furious at this development, proceeded to embarrass and belittle the other chapter's commanding officer. Relations between the Sharks and the Krakens have never been easy since.

 

 

 

 

 

And this is all somewhere between a summary and the actual thing. Kinda started out as a summary, became closer to legitimate draft as I went on ;)

[Brother-Sergeant Bohemond]

sounds good to me, I like it :) Only trouble I can see is the Consecrators apparently are barely known to the Imperium, could just be a records lost/deliberately deleted thing or something else (like, no HLoT sanction). But thats no biggie and while personally I would never make a Consecrator successor based on the lack of records, I can see it working here just fine. Though, from what we do know the Consecrators work closely with the Dark Angels Chapter which might have had some bearing on the Storm Krakens (love the name BTW)

 

Either way, Consecrators are a cool chapter to have as their parents!

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Cool :P I only used Consecrators because all the other chapters I could find of Dark Angels lineage were hugely unwieldy in the second sentence with them. "...Grand Master of the Guardians of the Covenant gave to the Chapter Master of the Storm Krakens..." So I went with Consecrators :)

[Olis]

Sometimes the simplest solutions are the best. :)

[Messor]

Looks great so far. Most things I noted were grammatical:

 

'First formed' suggests they were at some point reformed/disbanded.

A caste is part of a society, I think 'training cadre' is what you want.

Vriskan as a stronghold of strength is redundant, even for a Kraken.

In the following paragraph, I would suggest an alternative to one of those 'simply's, again to avoid redundancy.

 

I'd be interested to hear about how they settled on the kraken iconography. A creature on the homeworld(lot of ocean worlds these days)? Did they always mean to spread out to the far reaches of the imperium like the beast of legend? It also wasn't super clear that the Grail Wardens were sort of assigned to protect the homeworld. Does their significance end there? After their creation, do the Storm Krakens switch to being fleet based? If so...new monastrey barge?

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Looks great so far. Most things I noted were grammatical:

 

'First formed' suggests they were at some point reformed/disbanded.

A caste is part of a society, I think 'training cadre' is what you want.

Vriskan as a stronghold of strength is redundant, even for a Kraken.

In the following paragraph, I would suggest an alternative to one of those 'simply's, again to avoid redundancy.

 

I'd be interested to hear about how they settled on the kraken iconography. A creature on the homeworld(lot of ocean worlds these days)? Did they always mean to spread out to the far reaches of the imperium like the beast of legend? It also wasn't super clear that the Grail Wardens were sort of assigned to protect the homeworld. Does their significance end there? After their creation, do the Storm Krakens switch to being fleet based? If so...new monastrey barge?

 

1-4 Fixed, thanks :tu:

 

On the Grail Wardens, I expanded the sentence to this -

The High Lords agreed to this and thus the Grail Wardens were formed, assigned to protect the swathe of the galaxy that had been conquered by the Storm Krakens.

Does that work?

 

I'll explain the Kraken on the homeworld section. As this was history, I didn't want to go too in-depth, only mention the significant bits and use it to paint a mental image of just what the chapter had been doing and how it had been affected by their actions. But yes, the Kraken will be a very real predator on Vriskan. It's not going to be hunted either, I may even have it be protected because it will have to have a very small population because Krakens are so large. I also find the whole 'and the chapter was named after the mightiest beast that the chapter could kill' a bit tedious, I mean if you're going to name yourself after these things why would you try and exterminate them? We're not Daleks for the Emperor's sake... :P

[Olis]

I think you might wanna fix your 'sidebar'.

Title

Example

Quote me to get the BBCode. :tu:

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

I think you might wanna fix your 'sidebar'. Quote me to get the BBCode. :P

With a sidebar, now it actually looks serious... I think it's time to do homeworld then :tu:

[Olis]

Glad to be of help. :tu:

[Dosjetka]

As mentioned somewhere, Storm Kraken clashes with the DA-feel. But that's already been pointed out, so I'll move on.

 

I'm not too keen on the inclusion of known Chapters into one's IA, and I would that you heavily suggest Carcharodon involvement without actually stating it. But again, that's up to you. I'm just not a big fan of it :P

 

Uhm... Otherwise... I think it's all pretty much alright. Digging the epic colour scheme. Reminds me somewhat of GHY's Corairs Serpentis colour scheme, did that inspire you?

 

I can't promise that I'll check this regularly as I hardly ever come here anymore (I know I should) but I'll try :) And if you want more feedback on anything, just PM me and I'll get back to you ASAP!

 

Ludovic

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Vriskan, homeworld of the Storm Krakens

 

Vriskan is the fourth world orbiting the star Karkation, bearing two moons. Salt water covers almost all of the surface of Vriskan, teeming with all manner of life forms. There are over five hundred shark species alone, and crabs, cephalopods, algae and countless other marine forms exist in the great ocean of Vriskan. Curiously there are no mammals, excepting the humans that live in the great floating hives. Many of the biologists of the Adeptus Mechanicus believe that this is due to the lack of land for mammals to develop on, but others believe that mammals developed from water and not the other way around and dispute the theory. Both groups, however, are greatly interested in vast diversity of life on world of Vriskan, especially the great Krakens that the protecting chapter is named for. These great beasts are huge monsters, often a full mile in length as adults and having lived a century to even reach that point. They are exceptionally rare specimens however, and all thirty four are closely monitored to ensure the specie's survival. More than a few think this is unnecessary, as they are naturally incredibly difficult to kill.

 

Indeed, these creatures have always been the tale of fear and warning to the young sailors who sail between the seven floating cities. These too have drawn the attention of the Adeptus Mechanicus and caused a great debate among their orders. Some believe the cities to be STCs, others, something created by the natives long ago. Both sides fear that their opponents might be right - if they are STCs, then they are surely invaluable and must be saved at all costs, but if they are not, then the cities are vile tech-heresy and must be destroyed. The Vriskans observe the arguments with some bemusement, and simply continue to fish, trade, and prepare for the storms.

 

The clockwork storms are the other object of fear amongst the people of Vriskan. The two moons, Kanyan and Terezion, pull at the tides and waves of the ocean world and do so directly opposite of each other. At the equinox - when Karkation and Terezion pull the water in the same direction - the highest peak on the other end of the planet is revealed, pointing straight at Terezion. Six of the cities use this hour long event to anchor themselves to the now available solid ground. The last city with the waters at the equinox, only doing so because it is the largest construct and thus the only one able to resist being overwhelmed by the initial rising of waters. When the equinox ends and the the star's grip no longer works with Karkation, the waters rush back across the world to spread evenly once more. The sheer volume of water and the momentum created cause a tsunami to rage as it sweeps Vriskan, and despite being much diluted by time it reaches the six anchored cities it is still a terrifying force that claims any who are not heavily sheltered from the storm. Even the great Kraken are disturbed by this annual event. Eventually, however, the storm abates, and the day that it does the new year is marked and celebration comes to the people of Vriskan.

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

As mentioned somewhere, Storm Kraken clashes with the DA-feel. But that's already been pointed out, so I'll move on.

 

I'm not too keen on the inclusion of known Chapters into one's IA, and I would that you heavily suggest Carcharodon involvement without actually stating it. But again, that's up to you. I'm just not a big fan of it ;)

 

Uhm... Otherwise... I think it's all pretty much alright. Digging the epic colour scheme. Reminds me somewhat of GHY's Corairs Serpentis colour scheme, did that inspire you?

 

I can't promise that I'll check this regularly as I hardly ever come here anymore (I know I should) but I'll try ;) And if you want more feedback on anything, just PM me and I'll get back to you ASAP!

 

Ludovic

As for Carcharadon's and official chapter involvement - I agree actually and would normally not do something like this... but I couldn't resist Sharks vs Krakens :P

 

I have never seen nor heard of GHY's Corsairs Serpentis, I'll go look those up now.

 

And you can critique it on New Badab instead, that's cool, might encourage the others to do their own over there as well. I already have countless adoring fans over here anyways :P Seriously though, it's your hobby as much as mine and I'm not going to force you onto one site or another, it's not my place nor my decision :P

[Dosjetka]

As for Carcharadon's and official chapter involvement - I agree actually and would normally not do something like this... but I couldn't resist Sharks vs Krakens :D

 

I have never seen nor heard of GHY's Corsairs Serpentis, I'll go look those up now.

 

And you can critique it on New Badab instead, that's cool, might encourage the others to do their own over there as well. I already have countless adoring fans over here anyways :P Seriously though, it's your hobby as much as mine and I'm not going to force you onto one site or another, it's not my place nor my decision :devil:

Couldn't you try heavily suggesting it? I know that you're capable of doing it, you just have to be bothered to do it now :P

 

And I know I could post over on New Badab, but my comment was more of a general remark that I should check the Liber more often as I love this place. I just don't have much time at hand... But I'll do my best to hang around and help out other Liberites with their works ^_^

 

Ludovic

[Dark Apostle Thirst]

Alright alright, grey armoured astartes it is :P And yeah the Liber is awesome ^_^

 

I seriously want thoughts on the storms of Vriskan. Is it legitimate or does it break the suspension of disbelief? Does it make sense outside of my head or was it explained too poorly? CnC is gold ;)

[Madwolf Shadowmane]

As a whole the Home world section fits well.

 

Both sides fear that their opponents might be true

Might be better to use "right" in place of "true" or even "correct"

 

The one question that comes to my mind (I might be jumping the gun here) is how does this planet produce younglings to become initiates?

 

Madwolf