TheMik Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 Name: The Order of the Lion Founding: Successor Chapter of the Dark Angels, second founding Codex used: Codex: SM Background: As the Black Templars were created from the most zealous and warlike Imperial Fists, the Order of the Lion was created by those most righteous of the Dark Angels following the destruction of Caliban. A relatively small chapter, it is estimated that there are less than 500 marines wearing the chapter's colors. They hunt The Fallen to the exclusion of almost all else, even if it means leaving a war zone in the middle of combat. The Order of the Lion are a space-borne chapter just like the Dark Angels. They primarily operate on the western edge of the galaxy in Segmentum Pacificus. The recruits come from all manner of worlds that the Order of the Lion come across. No preference is given to the type of world, but all recruits must pass stringent physical, mental and spiritual tests to even be considered. All marines, once they are inducted as full initiates, are told of the basic facts of the history of the Dark Angels as well as the Order of the Lion. From the newest initiate to the oldest veteran, they are all fully aware of their purpose. Because of their constant hunt for the fallen they understand the vagaries of Warpspace better than most loyalist chapters. This has lead to a relatively high number of librarians in their ranks. Such an anomaly has, as expected, drawn the attention of the Inquisition on many occasions but each time an Inquisitorial team has tested the chapter they have failed to find any fault with the geneseed or the chapter as a whole. Combat Style: Because of their relative lack of numbers, there are no companies. Instead each squad is designated by the name of the sergeant. Similarly to the Dark Angels the chapter’s most esteemed veterans are inducted into the Deathwing. They alone are granted the privilege of wearing suits of terminator armor. Like their parent chapter, they have a proclivity for plasma weaponry. Because of the small size of the chapter the training regimen that the Order of the Lion goes through emphasizes ranged combat over assault. That is not to say the chapter is unskilled in close quarter fighting. Most of the dedicated assault units in the Order are drawn from the ranks of the Deathwing, as the terminator armor provides greater protection in the chaos of a melee. Color Scheme Marine - http://tinyurl.com/d8nrsz8 Veteran - http://tinyurl.com/adlf9ts Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/266362-order-of-the-lion-work-in-progress/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
DarkLiege Posted November 22, 2012 Share Posted November 22, 2012 I looked through it. Although it is good, I think you could improve on it on with this: http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/index.p...p;#entry1520507 The link is a guide of dos and don't for a DIY chapter. Hope this helps! <_< Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/266362-order-of-the-lion-work-in-progress/#findComment-3244713 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMik Posted November 23, 2012 Author Share Posted November 23, 2012 Thanks! Always open to comments, critiques and suggestions to improve. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/266362-order-of-the-lion-work-in-progress/#findComment-3244827 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wulfebane Posted November 23, 2012 Share Posted November 23, 2012 Aside from the larger-than-average usage of librarians, which isn't exactly explained away by them being a fleet-based chapter, I don't find these guys very exceptional. Paraphrasing - "They prefer long-range, but they're just as good in melee" makes them average to my mind. I would embellish these unique traits and highlight flaws.. Something that gives them real character. Other than being a DA successor, their lion moniker is lacking strong iconography. What does being in this Order of Lions mean? Furthermore, I would've thought - being lions - they'd excel in melee. Is it all just a name to them? Just another one of Johnson's successors? Or are they more prideful than most? More feral, more hunter-like. Do they roar when they kill or are they silent predators. Also, why are they still so small despite being a 2nd founding? They've had thousands of years to build their numbers. If there's a reason, play it up.. it's likely a defining feature. The stew is a bit bland. Spice it up. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/266362-order-of-the-lion-work-in-progress/#findComment-3244903 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheMik Posted November 25, 2012 Author Share Posted November 25, 2012 Wulfebane, thanks for the critiques. I'm not the best writer around so getting feedback on what specific areas need improving is always helpful. I'm currently working my way through the DIY chapter guide that was posted and am re-doing a good portion of the chapter's fluff. Everything, even the name, is under review. The only thing that I know for a fact will stay the same is that this is a DA successor, though not second founding (I just like the robed veteran models). Other than that i will revise what I think needs work (which is a lot) and re-do the chapter background in a format similar to the Index Astartes articles you'd see in WD. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/266362-order-of-the-lion-work-in-progress/#findComment-3246137 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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