Ghost Warriors[V.2]

[Elias]

Hi everyone, it has been long time since I last posted about my DIY chapter, so there is second version of it. I decided not to write everything at first and write just ideas. Discuss them, develop and decide are they good or not. I'm doing that because I don't want chapter to be over-powered and super-mega.

 

-Chapter name is Ghost Warriors.

-Chapter is 13th founding(34 millenium)

 

Geneseed

-raven guard successors

-major mutation-oversensitive occulobe(can see at night).

-need ideas about minor mutations.

 

Combat doctrine

-preferring deep strikes via teleportation or drop-pods.

-almost always fight at night.

-no roars on battlefield, keep silence and use only inner vox to communicate.

-'cut the snake's head' tactics. Attacking first enemy's officers and assassinating them to cause chaos and low moral in enemy ranks.

-almost don't use tanks on battlefield(now they're raven guard successors and don't have much) and depending on foot units.

 

colors, badge and etc.

-black power armour with golden ornaments(note:fist company-silver ornaments)

-librarians, apothecaries and tech-marines also wear black armours, painting only shoulder-guards red or white, librarians wear dark-blue robes, it is because in chapter everyone is equal, don't matter he is medic, librarian, tech or battle-brother.

-wear cloaks of deepest scarlet(often covered with golden letters). Traditions comes from chapter's home-world Diadoch, where warriors wear scarlet cloaks to hide their blood from enemies if they're injured.

-wargear of Ghost Warriors is very ornamented-covered with images or Diadochian runes(they act as Fenrisian runes defending wearer from psychic attacks)

-wear animal furs.

-badge is fanged skull.

 

 

Home-world and Fortress-monastery

-home world is Diadoch, feral world with no technological development.

-Diadoch has three continents: the main continent is covered with dark forests(and very, VERY dangerous beasts in it), the second continent is Ice islands(consist of so many near located islands that can be considered as continent) home of the most brave sailors and dangerous marauders. The third continent is Dainers, mysterious land covered also covered with forests, Dainers is less developed than other two continents and is ruled by Shamans.

-There are very dangerous beasts on Diadoch. Some are natives to the planet, others are taken from other planets and brought here to see how population can adopt. The main predator of the planet is Diadochian Lions, they are few, but dangerous.

-Life on Diadoch is battle against death. nature, beasts, other people, everyone and everything want to kill you here.

-Fortress-monastery called Stronghold of shades is located on the largest moon of Diadoch. It was built by magos Deiran, who was follower of Tellanum Ibernis philosophy( I invented them, you thoughts?) which considered that every creation of Mechanicum must be not only functional but also beautiful. The black spires of Fortress emerge from icy surface of Moon.

-The station around moon, need your thoughts about that- I want stations around it like Grey knights or it will be better not to have it?

-Forge of the chapter is located deep in the moon, as is Apothecarion.

-Also there is there is moon of Diadoch which is something like training base of the chapter and playground of game called 'Shadows'. What do you think about that? is that stupid? ;)

 

chapter's fleet

-fleet of normal strength

-1 battle-barge 'sword of vengeance'

-flagman is unique class warship(in strength similar to battle-barge, maybe a bit stronger) 'phasmastis rex'. in mid of 36 century captured from chaos forces and cleansed from taint.

-some spaceships: 'watcher of the night', 'the silent walker', 'lance of Hector(Hector is first chapter master)... and need some ideas about names...

 

also-good relationships with Adeptus mechanicus. and bad with-?(need ideas).

good relationships with Deathwatch.

 

Well, there are some other ideas, but I think these are enough. So I'm waiting for C&C and Input which will be very helpful about any section of chapter and about everything.

 

Thank you for reading, and sorry for grammar(English is not my native language).

[Messor]

I really like what you have so far, from the name at the very beginning. Hopefully I can help with some fine tuning.

 

Is there any reason you don't want to choose a geneseed? Personally, I think your chapter would make fantastic Sons of Corvus, they read like they already are. They already have a haunting melanchrome mutation, which you can adjust to maybe make both their hair and skin deathly pale, instead of just the Raven Guard skin. If you can pull off the unknown geneseed, more power to you, just be careful to use it as crutch answer. As for the occulobe, a fitting mutation, though I'm told that Marines can already see pretty well at night (I have a Chapter with a similar mutation), so perhaps spice it up with something like it changes their natural eye color, or causes a chemical reaction that gives them glowing eyes.

 

Your combat doctrine looks fairly solid, but it looks like you're on the fence between Grey Knights and Space Wolves, so I'd settle on one and begin to head away from the other. For example, its going to be really rare for a Chapter to have teleportation for anything besides some of its Termintors. If you have it, its a feature that will need explaining.

 

I love your ideas on heraldry. I hope to see some painted models!

 

Your homeworld is kinda getting lost in the haystack, so far its just a lot of common homeworld fare. Are the natives superstitious? Did their beliefs influence the creation of a Chapter on their world? I like the idea of the Ibernis philosophy. You could expand on it with how the artistic vision of the magos was portrayed. Is the fortress just really ornate on the interior? Is it visible from the planet? The separate moon for training is a great idea.

 

If anything, a dark founding chapter will probably have edgy relationships with some Inquisitors (again, something to think about if you want to use the more powerful troop teleportation).

 

To top it all off, pretty good grammar. Looking forward to seeing this refined into an IA of Awesome.

[Elias]

oh thanks for comment. about teleportation of course I mean terminators, not regular marines. About geneseed yes at first they were sons of corax, but then I choose to unknown, but I will think about corax's gene-seed. what about home-world I will add information about it's influence on the chapter. About fortress-I wrote a lot of information about it on my story, unfortunately it is on my native language.

 

relationships with inquisitors, yes, it is a dark founding chapter and I think It will suit them to be close to the inquisitors(and I that idea very much).

 

so thanks for comment. And I want to ask what do you think about defense station around the fortress, it is overpowering chapter or not?

[Wulfebane]

I'm kind of confused on the look. I like the whole elaborate ornamentation motif and the philosophy.. reminds me of the Reclaimers, but then you have black armor and black buildings, which unless constructed with a unique/strong silhouette, will just look black. I guess the gold and silver will help, but then you lose me on how they are stealth hunters, as the metal is too vibrant and would glint off any light source, even moonlight, removing their chances of sneaking up on anything.

[Elias]

well, how do you think astartes can be stealthy? they are giants and wear noisy armour. Well, frankly I'm changing their combat doctrine and it will be less stealthy.

[Astutia Vulpes]

Space Marine power could be stealthy, there's nothing to suggest that the chapter techmarines couldn't modify the armour to be more silent or vibration free. Just make the modification sound sciencey, like improvised nano-polymer bushings....just a thought...

[Elias]

hi everyone and thanks for your comments.

 

now combat doctrine is little changed and Ghosts are raven guard successors:

Combat doctrine

-preferring deep strikes via teleportation or drop-pods.

-almost always fight at night.

-no roars on battlefield, keep silence and use only inner vox to communicate.

-'cut the snake's head' tactics. Attacking first enemy's officers and assassinating them to cause chaos and low moral in enemy ranks.

-almost don't use tanks on battlefield(now they're raven guard successors and don't have much) and depending on foot units.

 

any thoughts?

and questions need bad relationships with other imperial organizations( echlessiarchy maybe? need ideas).

and also there is question about orbital platform around the moon? isn't it overpowered?

[Elias]

well, now it is time for chapter fleet. I think it'll strong- 3(or better 2?) battle-barges and so on. But I don't want only battle-barges, strike cruisers and frigates in my fleet, may be some class of unique spaceship or ship not usually used by adeptus astartes, what do you think about that?

[Dosjetka]

well, now it is time for chapter fleet. I think it'll strong- 3(or better 2?) battle-barges and so on. But I don't want only battle-barges, strike cruisers and frigates in my fleet, may be some class of unique spaceship or ship not usually used by adeptus astartes, what do you think about that?

Why don't you cut down your Battle-Barge number down to one and then come up with a completely unique second capital ship that was captured by your Chapter and refitted for use within the fleet? Maybe an Imperial Cruiser, taken from a renegade fleet, cleansed of Chaos taint and upgraded to Astartes-level weaponry and facilities?

 

Just my 0.2£.

 

Ludovic

 

EDIT: And maybe that Cruiser has a (very limited) cache of power armour and/or other Astartes equipment that they could use? It could be quite an important moment in your Chapter's history :D

[Elias]

hm, I think it is really good idea. well, now chapter has one battle-barge and one unique class flagman(not overpowered of course) captured from chaos forces.

[Elias]

well, guys I added little info about chapter's fleet. now about organization(where I began to add thing from history and culture of my country):

-codex compliant

-first company is called 'Monaspa'(in past elite soldiers of king David IV). warriors of first decorate armour with silver, not gold.

-companies are called 'Spa'

-need ideas about markings of devastators and assault marines.

-chapter's honour guard acts as elites, not bodyguards and consists of three separate units: 'fire ravens'(or flaming ravens?)(symbol is fire raven)-elite assault marines. 'black serpents'( six serpents(three from each side) and silver skull is painted on their chest-plates) armed with broadswords. 'silent wardens'(have skull-helmets) armed with halberds and swords.

 

new ideas and inputs are welcome.

[Messor]

I think your elites would be well served divided into your other Chapter organizations as well. I mostly say that because your Silent Wardens distinctly stuck out to me as Chaplains. So maybe your Reclusium could be called the Silent Wardens. The fire ravens already invoke the fire and forge imagery associated with a tech cult, so perhaps these could be tech marines (can tech marines use jump packs? That might not work.) The Black Serpents and their multi-headed symbol, easily suggestive of cunning/wisdom, could be made to be the Chapter Librarium.

 

edit: I'd also go ahead and chuck your additions into the first post, so its all together where its easy to see.

[Elias]

em, well. divide honour guard into chapter organization isn't what I want. It'll be better to change their helmets and don't touch chaplains.

[Messor]

em, well. divide honour guard into chapter organization isn't what I want. It'll be better to change their helmets and don't touch chaplains.

 

Heh, it's all you sir, just me 2 cents. The honor guard works well as is XD

[Elias]

hi guys. I think I'm done with honour guard. but today I came up with wonderful idea...Golden Fleece, yes, yes? Golden Fleece in the fortress-monastery. but need ideas of it's origins, so your help and input is welcome.

[NightrawenII]

Well. first I would like to quote someone else:

"I'll be as blunt as I can on this statement. It is not his or our job to work on your chapter, that's your job. The Liber is quality control, not the assembly line."

~ Telveryon

 

If you want suggestions, that's fine, but don't expect someone will be doing all the hard work(read thinking, researching, development) instead of you.

 

 

Now.

-Chapter is 13th founding(34 millenium)

- 13th Founding, the so-called Dark Founding, is rather questionable in nature. Not as the 21st, but consider this, the two known Chapters are Death Spectres and Exorcists.

 

colors, badge and etc.

it is because in chapter everyone is equal

- Equal in what sense?

 

-wear animal furs.

- Why? The Space Wolves wear the furs of wolves, because it's mark of great skill to kill one.

 

Home-world and Fortress-monastery

Some are natives to the planet, others are taken from other planets and brought here to see how population can adopt.

- Why? (This can be dangerous to original ecosystem though. See Australia and the problems it has with imported fauna.)

 

-Life on Diadoch is battle against death. nature, beasts, other people, everyone and everything want to kill you here.

- Wow... why?

 

-Diadoch has three continents: the main continent is covered with dark forests(and very, VERY dangerous beasts in it), the second continent is Ice islands(consist of so many near located islands that can be considered as continent) home of the most brave sailors and dangerous marauders. The third continent is Dainers, mysterious land covered also covered with forests, Dainers is less developed than other two continents and is ruled by Shamans.

- Ok. And the point is? This is not bad, mind you just... the Homeworld section serve as source of the Chapter cult, feel and traditions. That's why the DIYers usually choose one culture and then work it into Chapter. You have three (well...), but with minimun info of each.

 

also-good relationships with Adeptus mechanicus. and bad with-?(need ideas).

- Yeah, everyone wants to be good friends with AdMech; these guys give us shiny toys. :)

 

-chapter's honour guard acts as elites, not bodyguards and consists of three separate units: 'fire ravens'(or flaming ravens?)(symbol is fire raven)-elite assault marines. 'black serpents'( six serpents(three from each side) and silver skull is painted on their chest-plates) armed with broadswords. 'silent wardens'(have skull-helmets) armed with halberds and swords.

- If your Honour Guard doesn't act as bodyguards, then it's not Honour Guard anymore. From the description it almost looks like 1st Co. of other Chapters. :tu:

 

 

~NightrawenII.

[Elias]

1. If you want suggestions, that's fine, but don't expect someone will be doing all the hard work(read thinking, researching, development) instead of you.

2. Equal in what sense?

3. Why? The Space Wolves wear the furs of wolves, because it's mark of great skill to kill one.

4. Why? (This can be dangerous to original ecosystem though. See Australia and the problems it has with imported fauna.)

5. Wow... why?

6. Ok. And the point is? This is not bad, mind you just... the Homeworld section serve as source of the Chapter cult, feel and traditions. That's why the DIYers usually choose one culture and then work it into Chapter. You have three (well...), but with minimun info of each.

7. Yeah, everyone wants to be good friends with AdMech; these guys give us shiny toys. -_-

8. If your Honour Guard doesn't act as bodyguards, then it's not Honour Guard anymore. From the description it almost looks like 1st Co. of other Chapters. :huh:

 

 

~NightrawenII.

 

first of all, thank you for your comment, then:

1.Of course, I'll do all work myself, I just need suggestions(like yours) and critic.

2.In some chapter librarians are outcast, black templars don't have them at all. Being equal is meaning that chapter is one soul and no one stands aside from it, even with such a little detail as color of armour.

3.Ghosts wear furs as trophies and mark of their skills, as space wolves and I think every chapter, because it is warm inside power armour :D

4. I think in grim and dark future mechanicum can bring animals from other planets to another without damaging the fauna. Of course they bring animals to the planet after long studies and knowing that it won't damage natural balance.

5.because there is only war :D

6.it is minimum info about them because it isn't article(but it will become soon).

7.agreed with that

8.yeah, you have a point. I'll think about that.

 

so at least I would say that I'll better write article. It'll be written soon(end of this week maybe).

[Elias]

Hi guys. there's little article about homeworld. need c&c.

 

Home world

Home world of the Ghost Warriors chapter is a death world Diadoch- the third planet in the star system of 7 worlds. Diaoch is big planet(in terran standards) and consists of three continents which are divided by so called Black ocean. People of the planet know nothing about imperium and the galaxy. Everything they knew about Ghost Warriors is that mighty warriors descend from the sky on the wings of black birds to take young boys in their ranks.

Diadoch is the world of dark forests and deep oceans. Mighty walls of city-fortresses are lone defenders of people from deadly animals of the planet. Cities like that are very rare and control big territory around them. City-fortresses are ruled by mighty warrior-kings of Diadoch.

Life on Diadoch is never-ending war. People wage wars for everything: food, territory, resources, slaves… This lifestyle created strong warrior society on the planet. Almost all men are warriors, ready to defend their homes or answer the call of their lords. Life to Diadochian man means to be Vajkaci-warrior with honor and nobility, courage and valor, to be strong and don’t be afraid of bloodshed.

Every recruit of the Ghost Warriors is from Diadoch and it’s obvious that Diadochian culture greatly influenced the chapter.

Diadoch’s fauna is very rich with deadly predators such as Diadochian wolves, lynxes ,wyrms , bears and the most dangerous- Diadochian lions, with skins hard enough to resist sword and axes, and teeth and claws venomous and sharp enough to kill a space marine. To hunt such a beasts is a big honor in the chapter. Ghost Warriors often wear furs of the slain animals to show their skill and valor.

 

Moons of Diadoch

 

1.Phaeton- The biggest moon of the planet. Chapter’s fortress-monastery, called Stronghold of shades is built here. Its Black spires emerge from icy lakes of surface.

2.Oemnis- This moon is used as chapter’s training area. It is very different from training areas in fortress-monasteries or on battleships which can create almost all battle conditions. Oemnis is covered with buildings of architecture brought from other planets to create ‘hybrid’ area where Ghost Warriors can improve their skill of battle, survival and stealth. Combat servitors and even xenos species stalk its hollow corridors to create real problems to astartes.

3.Rentan- moon rich of minerals.

[Reyner]

Sounds similar to Caliban - good ideas there you just need to build on them a bit. Such as:

Every recruit of the Ghost Warriors is from Diadoch and it’s obvious that Diadochian culture greatly influenced the chapter.

Tell us how it has influenced your marines.

 

Keep at it, you are getting there. Listen to Nightrawen aswell - he makes some good points.

[Dosjetka]

Keep at it, you are getting there. Listen to Nightrawen aswell - he makes some good points.

Even if they come across a bit harshly sometimes ;)

 

Keep it going Elias, you'll get to the end with a pretty cool IA I think -_- (too late for me to give any constructive criticism right now, sorry)

 

Cheers,

 

Ludovic

[Elias]

so guys. there is another part of the article Fortress-monastery.

 

 

Fortress-Monastery

 

Fortress-monastery of the Ghost Warriors, also known as Stronghold Of Shades, is located on Phaeton- one of the three moons of Diadoch. Phaeton has atmosphere, which is largely composed of nitrogen. Surface of Phaeton is covered with water ice and volcanoes.

Stronghold Of Shades was built by magos Deiran, who was follower of Tellanum Ibernis philosophy, which considered that creations of Mechanicum must be not only functional, but also beautiful. This fact greatly affected on the fortress-monastery. Stronghold of Shades was built from black stones, its surface covered with statues and gargouilles, barrels of cannons decorated in form of heads of dragons, wolves and other beasts. The most beautiful is fortress’ inner territory- Great pictures- showing scenes from Imperium’s history covered the walls. Giant statues of ancient heroes inspired warriors of the young chapter. But much bigger territory and more walls were clear for future generations to cover them.

Stronghold Of Shades is beautiful, but first of all it is castle with Imperium’s most advanced weaponry and defense systems. Laser, plasma and macro cannons, rocket launchers and mighty void shields are always ready for battle. These by their own are serious defenses, but there is much- orbital station, playing role of first line of defenses, dock for warships and training base of Diadochian guardians occupies void near the moon.

Stronghold of Shades is similar to other fortress-monasteries. There is armoury, apothecarion, cells for battle-brothers and chapter serfs, guest chambers, Teleportorium, Reclusiam, Librarium, Generatorum and other areas necessary for space marine chapter.