anzarion Posted December 15, 2012 Share Posted December 15, 2012 ;) Dark Falcons Origins Originaly a strike force unit of about 30 marines, they operated during the 24th millenium locating and hunting Fallen. They were only known by the chapter master of the Dark Angels. After completing a mission, and awaiting orders, the chapter master died in battle without informing anyone about The Falcons, as they were known then. The Falcons' ship was unfit for travel, so they were forced to land on the nearest life sustaining planet, a feral world outside Segmentum Oscurus in the halo stars known as Falco. After a century the librarian Pietro trough meditation got a message from the Emperor, that they were to start training the natives as space marines, and create more soldiers for the Imperium. The planet was frequently a target for chaos raids, and The Falcons were down to 10 veteran marines plus the librarian and were diminishing rapidly. The Emperor blessed them with a stroke of luck when a group of renegade marines who had stolen a transport ship filled with equipment for the adeptus astartes crash landed on the planet. The chapter master of the Dark Angels Azrael, found traces of The Falcons during the 39th millenium, and sent some marines to the supposed area. When they arrived, The Falcons numbered about 450 marines. A request to the High Lords of Terra to give them full chapter status was granted after checking for mutations in the planets natives and current marines. History The Dark Falcons' lives on Falco was filled with fighting chaos raiders, and training the natives. They influenced the natives, giving them a strong sense of duty and also giving them a hate for Fallen. A large unit of 50 chaos space marines attacked the planet once they had confirmed that there were space marines on the planet. With only 7 veterans, 6 new marines and 11 scouts, they were heavily outnumbered. Astonishingly, they eradicated the superior enemy force, using sneaky tactics and ambushes. The Inquisition were distrusting of the Dark Falcons, but after having a inquisitor monitoring the movements and actions of the chapter, the chapter was surprisingly found to be free of heretics and mutation caused by chaos. Homeworld The Dark Falcons' homeworld is a feral-deathworld full of deserts and dry savannahs known as Falco. The natives are decendants of a group of explorers and their imperial guard escort. Their technology has degraded, and the only functioning piece of equipment is an old lasgun. Food is scarce, and they use most of the day hunting. They use spears, bows and a contraption similar to a hang glider, wich they use to fly over the prey, throwing spears at it from above. Combat Doctorine As they have been isolated from the rest of humanity, they dont follow the adeptus astartes fully. Usualy two/three squads get assigned to a mission though it depends on the size of the operation. They favor appearing from nowhere and quickly dispatch their enemy, and infiltrating/locating enemys and assasinate them. They have no heavy support at all, as it is to cumbersome to wield in battle. They are most effective in small skirmishes and are at a clear disadvantage against numerous enemys. They have no false sense of hounor, and they to do whatever it takes to complete the mission as long as it doesn't conflict with the orders, wich mean that ambush, assasinating and dirty tricks are fully acceptible. Organization The Dark Falcons do not have companies, but are divided into squads. Each squad has a name that is added to a marines last name, for example: DarkLance of squad Dark. There are currently about 50 different squads. Every mission has a Cheif Hunter (captain, librarian, chaplain) who leads the force. Famous Squads: + Squad Dark (hunters) + Squad Shadow (hunters) + Squad Doom (stormers) + Squad Black (sharp eyes) + Squad Raven (winged hunters) + Squad Storm (hunters) + Squad Falcon (Falconeers) Famous characters: + Pietro ShamanSpear (shaman)-status=dead + Daniel BladeWing (chief)-status=dead + Cataegis FalconEye (falconeer)-status=alive + Exitium SeerBlade (seer)-status=dead +Antonio ShamanStorm (shaman)-status=alive Gene Seed The Dark Falcons' gene seed is taken directly from the Dark Angels, but during their isolation from humanity, the gene seed was slightly damaged during a chaos raid, and to repair it, they needed a liquid to keep it from drying up. For this they used what the natives revered most; blood from a falcon-like creature known as mordfagel. The gene-seed was saved, but a few mutations followed, influenced by the mordfagel's DNA: a lower life-span of about 500 years, sharper eye sight, slightly faster than normal marines, extreme calm even under heavy pressure and a tendence to be quiet and untalkative, caused by a tightness in the neck, wich makes it hurt to talk more than 5 seconds, and/or loudly. Beliefs The Dark Falcons' revere the Emperor as a holy person, blessed by nature. They are extremely suspicious of the adeptus mechanicus, as they dont like technology very much. The Inquisition are wary of the Dark Falcons as they were isolated for such a long time, but there haven't been any renegade Dark Falcons or any tempted by chaos, so the Inquisition leave them alone. Battle-cry They cannot exactly be called a battle cries, as the Dark Falcons don't shout, but they are more like prayers that they say before battle: "We are the hunters, you are the prey." "Duty for our leaders, duty for our ancestors, duty for our shame." "Our orders have been received, and it shall be done or we shall die!" Notes this is just a basic idea, and i would like some feedback on it, so I can improve it Criticism is welcome ^_^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzarion Posted December 15, 2012 Author Share Posted December 15, 2012 Hunter(tactical) winged hunter(assault) Falconeer(vet.) stormer (biker) blooded (scout) if the pics dont load, just open them in a new tab Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/#findComment-3262145 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 I'm here to continue in my crusade. Thought of the Day: You are next. Origins Originaly a strike force unit of about 30 marines, they operated during the 24th millenium locating and hunting Fallen. - No, see below. - No, 24th Millenium is even before the Great Crusade(M31). - No, this duty belongs to trustworthy members of Ravenwing nad venerable brothers of Deathwing. After a century the librarian Pietro trough meditation got a message from the Emperor, that they were to start training the natives as space marines, and create more soldiers for the Imperium. The planet was frequently a target for chaos raids, and The Falcons were down to 10 veteran marines plus the librarian and were diminishing rapidly. The Emperor blessed them with a stroke of luck when a group of renegade marines who had stolen a transport ship filled with equipment for the adeptus astartes crash landed on the planet. - No, the Space Marine Chapters aren't founded like that. The Founding of Chapter is massive project, which takes huge amount of resources and time to get done. 10 Marines is not going to cut it. (And there isn't even Apothecary.) See the Guide to DIY for more info. The Falcons' ship was unfit for travel, so they were forced to land on the nearest life sustaining planet, a feral world outside Segmentum Oscurus in the halo stars known as Falco. - Let me guess. The ship's name was Falcon's Claw and that librarian's full name was Pietro el Falcone? The chapter master of the Dark Angels Azrael, found traces of The Falcons during the 39th millenium, and sent some marines to the supposed area. - If I'm not mistaken, Azrael is not alive at this time. Combat Doctorine As they have been isolated from the rest of humanity, they dont follow the adeptus astartes fully. - Adeptus Astartes is the another name of Space Marines. You are talking about Codex Astartes. They have no false sense of honor, and they to do whatever it takes to complete the mission as long as it doesn't conflict with the orders, wich mean that ambush, assasinating and dirty tricks are fully acceptible. - Why not? The Chaos Marines will be surely welcome this Chapter with open arms. Gene Seed For this they used what the natives revered most; blood from a falcon-like creature known as mordfagel. *NightrawenII falls off his chair in burst of laughter.* - You don't know what is fagel, do you? Beliefs They are extremely suspicious of the adeptus mechanicus, as they dont like technology very much. - What? They wear Power Armour, use guns and travel in starships. This distrust towards technology is really out of place. The Inquisition are wary of the Dark Falcons as they were isolated for such a long time, but there haven't been any renegade Dark Falcons or any tempted by chaos, so the Inquisition leave them alone. - Lol, Chaos corrupts all and you are no exception. - And Inquistion suspects everyone without fail, it's in their nature to not trust anyone and be ever-watchful of signs of heresy or corruption. **** Ok, I get it. You want hunter-esque Chapter. So... It's pretty much pointless to involve the Dark Angels in this. They are dour and gothic kind of Marines and your Chapter doesn't strike as one of their kin. The White Scars with their hunter-killer attitude are more fit or if everything fails, try RavenGuard with their 'surgical strike' combat doctrine. Both of them have their pro's and con's. Aside of origins, the rest is acceptable. You just need to flesh it out more. ~NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/#findComment-3262430 Share on other sites More sharing options...
anzarion Posted December 16, 2012 Author Share Posted December 16, 2012 Originaly a strike force unit of about 30 marines, they operated during the 24th millenium locating and hunting Fallen. - No, see below. - No, 24th Millenium is even before the Great Crusade(M31). - No, this duty belongs to trustworthy members of Ravenwing nad venerable brothers of Deathwing. +I was thinking more like a sneaky unit to locate and report the fallen's location, it was not very well formulated i agree and i will fix it After a century the librarian Pietro trough meditation got a message from the Emperor, that they were to start training the natives as space marines, and create more soldiers for the Imperium. The planet was frequently a target for chaos raids, and The Falcons were down to 10 veteran marines plus the librarian and were diminishing rapidly. The Emperor blessed them with a stroke of luck when a group of renegade marines who had stolen a transport ship filled with equipment for the adeptus astartes crash landed on the planet. - No, the Space Marine Chapters aren't founded like that. The Founding of Chapter is massive project, which takes huge amount of resources and time to get done. 10 Marines is not going to cut it. (And there isn't even Apothecary.) See the Guide to DIY for more info. +They got help from the natives that worship them, and also i stated that they got a transport ship full of equipment. The Falcons' ship was unfit for travel, so they were forced to land on the nearest life sustaining planet, a feral world outside Segmentum Oscurus in the halo stars known as Falco. - Let me guess. The ship's name was Falcon's Claw and that librarian's full name was Pietro el Falcone? Actually Pietro is inspired by the italian philosopher also named Pietro. As for the ships name...i haven't got that far ^_^ The chapter master of the Dark Angels Azrael, found traces of The Falcons during the 39th millenium, and sent some marines to the supposed area. - If I'm not mistaken, Azrael is not alive at this time. + agreed, i will fix it Combat Doctorine As they have been isolated from the rest of humanity, they dont follow the adeptus astartes fully. - Adeptus Astartes is the another name of Space Marines. You are talking about Codex Astartes. +typo They have no false sense of honor, and they to do whatever it takes to complete the mission as long as it doesn't conflict with the orders, wich mean that ambush, assasinating and dirty tricks are fully acceptible. - Why not? The Chaos Marines will be surely welcome this Chapter with open arms. + I was trying to portrait them as an assasiny kind of people, not noble knights. i didn't portrait it very clearly did I? Gene Seed For this they used what the natives revered most; blood from a falcon-like creature known as mordfagel. *NightrawenII falls off his chair in burst of laughter.* - You don't know what is fagel, do you? + mordfagel= mord+fagel. fagel (fågel) is bird, and mord is murder in swedish. I didn't mean that kind of fagel, tough I see the funny side in it. ;) Beliefs They are extremely suspicious of the adeptus mechanicus, as they dont like technology very much. - What? They wear Power Armour, use guns and travel in starships. This distrust towards technology is really out of place. + its more like: "tanks are for wimps" mixed with "It moves... witchcraft!!!". I use it to explain the lack of tanks and heavy units. The Inquisition are wary of the Dark Falcons as they were isolated for such a long time, but there haven't been any renegade Dark Falcons or any tempted by chaos, so the Inquisition leave them alone. - Lol, Chaos corrupts all and you are no exception. - And Inquistion suspects everyone without fail, it's in their nature to not trust anyone and be ever-watchful of signs of heresy or corruption. + oh they are still suspicous, they are just not as suspicious as most others It's pretty much pointless to involve the Dark Angels in this. They are dour and gothic kind of Marines and your Chapter doesn't strike as one of their kin. The White Scars with their hunter-killer attitude are more fit or if everything fails, try RavenGuard with their 'surgical strike' combat doctrine. Both of them have their pro's and con's. Aside of origins, the rest is acceptable. You just need to flesh it out more. + I use the DA codex for this, so i thought that it would be reasonable to have lion eljohnson as primarch, also the damaged gene seed and isolation makes them different than their parent chapter. Thnx for the criticism, i'm not 100% on the history (okay, maybe under 50%) so i apologize if my fluff is in conflict with the storyline ^_^ Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/#findComment-3262442 Share on other sites More sharing options...
NightrawenII Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 +They got help from the natives that worship them, and also i stated that they got a transport ship full of equipment. It's still not going to work. You will need facility to perform the surgery, the specialists to do the surgery and the gene-seed itself. You have none. Actually Pietro is inspired by the italian philosopher also named Pietro. As for the ships name...i haven't got that far ^_^ That was caustic remark at your unrestrained use of 'falcon'. :o They have no false sense of honor, and they to do whatever it takes to complete the mission as long as it doesn't conflict with the orders, wich mean that ambush, assasinating and dirty tricks are fully acceptible. - Why not? The Chaos Marines will be surely welcome this Chapter with open arms. + I was trying to portrait them as an assasiny kind of people, not noble knights. i didn't portrait it very clearly did I? I get it. But the 'whatever takes' part is straight path to damnation. + I use the DA codex for this, so i thought that it would be reasonable to have lion eljohnson as primarch, also the damaged gene seed and isolation makes them different than their parent chapter. - It doesn't matter, what Codex you use for your DIY Chapter. The background is one thing, the tabletop is another. Keep it separate, it will save you a lot of problems. ~NightrawenII. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/#findComment-3262460 Share on other sites More sharing options...
War Angel Posted December 16, 2012 Share Posted December 16, 2012 you can always find ways to use one codex even after being successor of another. creative writing helps with that. as for the home world, its just too much of a coincidence that the falcons landed on Falco. how quaint that we can make this planet our homeworld when it shares the same namesake. and they worship falcon like birds. it would be more likely that they rename it falco. assuming you even had spare geneseed laying around to damage, which you dont because youre on a search and destroy mission, its not so easy as just "being damaged" and needing falcon blood juice to keep it hydrated (which if thats what they needed i dont know why they wouldnt use water thats been purifyed and blessed by a chaplain, or in lack of a chaplain some one who could pretend to be a chalplain) geneseed is in youre marines, and if you had enough space marines you could harvest it from them and make as many marines as you wanted. you dont have enough marines so you would need an external supply. either way though its not like having a single artifact that can get damaged and require repair. if you had any supply that could be used to make more marines, you would be able to dump the broken geneseed. (at great cost to the chapter) in my oppinion theres alot of unorthidox in this chapter, and while its not bad to do something differnt, i feel that youre doing too much of it, and maybe bringing some of standard into youre chapter will help it flow some more. perhaps becoming a standard founding chapter that ended up stranded on the planet, then you would have the ability to make space marines. at first the chapter masters dont want to start recruitment because they were not sanctified to have a homeworld, they dont like the populace, or they had been instructed to operate in a differnt sector and they still want to follow these orders. whatever the reason, eventualy the chief libraian gets his message from the Emperor and things progress from there. just an idea. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/267846-ia-dark-falcons-da-succesor/#findComment-3262547 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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