Angels Seraphim

[Unknown Chronicler]

So welcome brothers and sisters of the B&C, so to cut this short and not to bore you. I just want to say that I have for more then a few years tried to make a DIY and the most hardest part is choosing armour colour and eventually the name. So I have found out both, I'm satisfied with the name but I'm not sure with the colour scheme and I would be happy if I could get some help on that. Now I already wrote some fluff so let me just show that to you guys and I hope you like it, enjoy!

 

THE ANGELS SERAPHIM

 

“Angels who are Vengeance against the coming Darkness

Redemption and Servitude, forged in defiance of fate.

They are the embodiment of fury and hope,

And the last defense against the corruption from within. ”

- Inscription upon the Angelica Mortus Seraphium,

attributed to the Ordo Malleus

 

Founding Chapter: Unknown, speculation leads to either the Dark Angels or the Blood Angels

Founding: Supposedly the Second Founding

Chapter Master: Seraphiel Nemius

Homeworld: Requiem

Fortress Monastery: Angels Vigilance and Sanctum Seraphium

Main Colours: Dark Blood Red, Black shoulder pads, Gold trimmings

Specialty: Assault, Deep Striking and Seraphim Knights: Veteran Marines

Battle Cry: Sergeant/Officers "For the living!", Marines in chorus "We March!"

 

History

The information regarding the Angels Seraphim's founding is shrouded in mystery and speculations. It is believed that they were actually created during the 2^nd founding; the time of the great scouring were the legions first broke off into chapters. Whether or not this is true the Chapters practice of Deep Striking and elite Terminator units could allude to that they are descendants of the Blood Angels or Dark Angels Chapter.

The elusive nature of the chapter has also made it difficult to ascertain the full strength of this fighting force, evidence suggests that they have nine companies but how many marines are in them is unknown. It is known that their chapter base resides on Requiem, located within the Segmentum Solar known as the Angels Wings.

 

 

There is also a great speculation behind their gene-seed, so far there have been no specific hallmarks that inconclusively identify their source of gene-seed. The best results have yielded two possible founders, the Dark Angels and the Blood Angels; both original Imperial Legions around since the beginning. The Triad, which is their Inner Circle, is clearly one reminiscent of the Dark Angels, as is the Angels Seraphim's natural affinity with secrecy. In combat, the Angels Seraphim express Assault attacks and Deep striking precise positions, that has been unseen since the time of Sanguinius, Primarch of the Blood Angels - as close combat specialists, the Angels Seraphim are more than capable of analyzing an enemy's stronghold, discover its weaknesses and strike with pinpoint accuracy, utterly destroying the enemy with little in the way of causalities on their side.

 

Little information in regards to their campaigns of this Chapter can be found prior to 001.M34. Upon arrival onto Forge World Calibus, the Angels Seraphim's actions have been well documented.

 

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I'm currently working on a fan fiction codex, and I hope to release it soon since it will have elements of the Dark Angels and Blood Angels forces in it...but turned to the will of my chapter. So hope you guys like the prelude for now at least, any C&C would be most appreciated, cheers :)

[Wulfebane]

I'll forego having the concern of someone wanting a chapter with unknown origins seem as the result of a lazy or uninspired writer, as this, to me, reads as a player who flits between DA and BA codices and wants an army that can proxy as both... not to mention my own diy is an unknown origin, so I'm biased. However, claiming potential 2nd founding is unlikely, since most all of those are well-documented and the likelihood of one escaping record is doubtful.

 

You mention the possibility of DA/BA origin twice, separately, which feels redundant. I would condense it to one appearance.

 

In combat, the Angels Seraphim express Assault attacks and Deep striking precise positions, that has been unseen since the time of Sanguinius, Primarch of the Blood Angels

 

Doubtful. I'd come up with something less glorified.

 

as close combat specialists, the Angels Seraphim are more than capable of analyzing an enemy's stronghold, discover its weaknesses and strike with pinpoint accuracy, utterly destroying the enemy with little in the way of *casualties* on their side.

 

Why? How does close combat allow them to excel at stronghold analysis? Also, define "pinpoint accuracy" in a battle scenario. As close combat (deep strike?) specialists, I could see them excelling at claiming footholds, or serving as the wedge in setup for full-scale invasion, but stronghold analysis I would assume be granted to those in heavy support roles, like orbital and/or ordnance bombardment command units.

 

I truly like the naming scheme you're using for all your titles.

[Veteran Sergeant]

Whether or not this is true the Chapters practice of Deep Striking and elite Terminator units could allude to that they are descendants of the Blood Angels or Dark Angels Chapter. - Or, any Chapter. There needs to be a more tenable link. Any and every Chapter is going to deep strike, and nearly all of them have elite Terminator units. There's actually very little unique about the Deathwing, other than they're always Terminators, and never just regular Veterans. In the end, they're veterans, and they're Terminators. That's every Chapter's First Company.

 

The elusive nature of the chapter has also made it difficult to ascertain the full strength of this fighting force. evidence suggests that they have nine companies but how many marines are in them is unknown. -Two sentences.

 

There is also great speculation -Just great speculation. Not “a” speculation. Speculation is plural.

 

specific hallmarks that inconclusively identify - Conclusively.

 

the Dark Angels and the Blood Angels; both original Imperial Legions around since the beginning. - The second part is superfluous.

 

Angels Seraphim express Assault attacks and Deep striking precise positions, that has been unseen since the time of Sanguinius, Primarch of the Blood Angels - Again, this really doesn't single them out as Blood Angels.

 

 

I feel like there need to be some more definitive ties to these parent chapters if you want to retain the mysterious background. But, ultimately. I think you're creating too much work for yourself. You don't need to have some convoluted back story to justify using two codex books or having a chapter that specializes in tactics typically identified with one First Founding chapter or another. Ultimately, even if nobody knows the true origins of the Chapter, they themselves aren't going to have an identity crisis where they are trapped between two worlds. They just do their thing.

 

Also, you need to choose a narrative voice. If it's an outsider talking about the Chapter, they aren't going to know about the Dark Angels having some secretive inner circle and how this chapter shares that in common. If you're using an indifferent omniscient narrator, which seems more likely, you don't need to do so much waffling with details. That narrator “knows” what Chapter they are actually from, even if he's not telling us. So just talk about the secret inner circle. Like I said before though, I think you're making too much work for yourself by trying to list everything, and then explain what Legion it originates from and why that makes them more mysterious as to their origins. I think you should just give an objective account of how the chapter operates, and let the reader make those connections on their own. Show, don't tell, like they always say.

 

Plus, if they are truly Second Founding Blood Angels, they're going to Black Rage, and that ought to single them out pretty quickly. It's a good start though, and it sounds like you have a fairly solid idea. You just need to polish it up a little bit in terms of the content and how you want to voice the IA.

[Unknown Chronicler]

I like the comments so far, but I do have to point out that what I wrote is still WIP. My idea like Veteran Sergeant has said is solid just I have to make a more polished version of it, though what is read is only a rough draft you could say and I believe I will make more of a Blood Angels army and make that more apparant throughout the process. I think I'm going to change the founding to the 3rd or 4th founding since it suits my needs alot more, but yes I'm happy with your inputs so far even though some are a bit harsh I know I can learn from it. Wulbane I like the last remark with the battle style, I haven't put too much thought in that ordeal. I will make an update by the end of the week, cheers mates for the comments and ideas on strategies?

[Octavulg]

Seraphim are a kind of angels. Naming your chapter Seraphim Angels is kind of redundant.

[Olis]

How about switching it to Marines Seraphim? Or the Seraphim Brotherhood? I dunno, just spitballing. :)