The Grey Wolves - Index Astartes WIP (Updated 01/02/13)

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

Grey Wolves

Founding Chapter: Ultramarines
Founding: 26th Founding
Chapter Master: Lord Connor Bodolf
Home World: Larentia V (The Grey Planet)
Fortress-Monastery: Accalia
Colours: Dark and light grey, yellow trim
Speciality: Codex Chapter
Strength: Defending with massed firepower and deadly counter assault
Battle Cry: Lupus stat praesidio (The Wolf stands guard)


History

The Grey Wolves chapter was formed following the events of the Battle for Macragge at the end of the 26th Founding. Under the guidance of Chaplain Ortan Cassius in relation to the sheer magnitude of the Tyranid threat, it was agreed that a greater, more autonomous elite presence would be needed in the galaxy to combat future xenos invasions, thus with several volunteers from Cassius' Tyrannic War Veterans to provide experience and assume positions of command, the Grey Wolves were formed and dispatched to the furthest reaches of Imperial space, to the Nuntis system to hold the front line against the advances of Hive Fleet Litoria.

Beliefs

The Grey Wolves are a relatively young chapter in the history of the Adeptus Astartes, consequently several high ranking Astartes among the senior staff are former Ultramarines and as such have a fundamentalist view of the teachings of Primarch Roboute Guilliman. However newer generations of Grey Wolves, born from Grey Wolves geneseed have a less indoctrinated perspective, and instead of blind faith in the Codex Astartes, they use the wisdom within as a guide. This differing attitude is a cause of several instances of in fighting and rivalries, however it is generally considered that as the chapter grows the newer culture will dominate the old, and greater stability will be ensue.   

Home World

Due to its dismal state in the aftermath of a terrible Tyranid invasion, coupled with its new role as home world of the Grey Wolves, Larentia V is given the nick name “The Grey Planet”

Currently the former hive world is home to several hundred nomadic tribes, scraping a living from the decimated landscape. The Grey Wolves use this to their advantage in their recruitment of new Battle Brothers, as the harsh environment nurtures resilience and cunning in the young Grey Wolf aspirants.

Organisation

Forlorn Hope
As a Codex chapter, the Grey Wolves follow the doctrines of the Codex Astartes with regards to force Organisation, with all but one exception. Advancement in the Grey wolves requires distinguished service in the Suicide Squads.

The Forlorn Hope are comprised of the most experienced, and bravest marines in the chapter. Typically deployed by drop pod at the start of only the most desperate of engagements, their role is primarily to swiftly take out a designated high value target to undermine the enemy's efforts. Following success, its is not uncommon that the members of the squad will perish to overwhelming numbers. Only the most cunning and resourceful marines survive these missions. Of these survivors, few are marked for advancement, whereupon they are removed from their duties in the Forlorn Hope, and will typically serve as either a Veteran Sergeant, A Vanguard Veteran, a Terminator, or in a Command Squad until a suitable command position is made available for them.

Once accepted into the ranks of the Forlorn Hope, each marine is expected to paint his helmet bright yellow as a sign of his honoured status. This helmet then remains this way for the rest of his career.

The exception to this rule is Captain Luk "Khârn's Bane" Fenrir, who was promoted to Captain of the 4th Company in the early days of the Grey Wolves existence in response to his heroics during the 'First Blood' campaign.
 
Blood Trials
Where some Astartes are happy to pit aspirant against aspirant in a battle to the death, the Grey Wolves instead choose to make better use of their Blood Trials. All aspirants are initially screened by chapter Librarians and Chaplains. Following this, the Neophytes are organised into squads and given basic Imperial Guard equipment, and are then utilized as cheap troops. The survivors are assessed, and those few found suitable are processed into Scouts.

The Master of Scouts
As with most Codex chapters, the 10th company is reserved for neophites and scouts. Consequently the 10th rarely go to battle as a company, but rather as seconded units to other companies. Currently Scout Sergeant Gunnolf Lyall leads a group of scouts seconded to the 4th company. In order to better train and observe scouts in the field, the Master of Scouts Niall Farkas currently serves in Captain Fenrir's Command Squad as a shield bearer.

Relationship to Ordo Xenos

Due to their proud and ongoing history fighting the Tyranid threat, under the guise of both Ultramarine Tyrannic War Veterans and Grey Wolves, the chapter has developed a positive relationship with the Ordo Xenos. Consequently, Chapter Master Bodolf can often rely on inquisitorial assistance when he needs it, and in return, the Ordo Xenos themselves are frequently welcomed to break in new recruits, fighting alongside the Battle Brothers of the Grey Wolves as they frequently clash with the servants of the Hive Mind.

Combat Doctrine

Noted Campaigns and Battles

755.M41:757.M41 [Nuntis System] First Blood
755.M41 – The Evacuation of Larentia V

Led by the new Chapter Master Lord Conner Bodolf, the infantile Grey Wolves enter the Nuntis system in 755.M41 and head straight for the focus of a Tyranid invasion on Larentia V. There they assume control of the local militia and simultaneously provide air support for evacuating ships, and slow the tide of the advancing Tyranids. Estimates show that thanks to Astartes intervention, as much as 65% of the Hive world’s dense population was saved. Unfortunately due to the scale of the invasion, much of the planet itself was assimilated and consumed in giant Tyranid Reclamation Pools. Despite overwhelming odds, Bodolf is able to maintain defence of the planet for two years, denying the Tyranid’s total victory.

757.M41 – Fenrir’s Culling

With hope fading fast for Larentia V, Veteran Sergeant Luk Fenrir (Later Captain Luk “Khârn’s-Bane” Fenrir) launches a daring strike from the Battle Barge Eternal Vigilance against the Norn-Queen’s bio ship with support from the local navy. Although many pilots were lost, their sacrifice enabled Fenrir and an accompanying tactical squad to board and assault the bio ship.

The fighting on board was both relentless and brutal, and Fenrir’s squad drew many casualties. After two days Fenrir was able to reach the Norn-Queen and after an intense battle was able to pierce the creature in the soft flesh under its neck, killing it and severing its psychic link with the Tyranid army below on Larentia V.

The effect was immediate, ‘Gaunts quickly turned on each other in a wild savage display of blood lust, Gargoyles fell from the skies in droves. Among the chaos, the Grey Wolves under Chapter Master Bodolf launched a swift and brutal counterattack, slaughtering thousands of xenos invaders within mere hours. Two months later, though practically reduced to a desertified shell, Larentia V was declared free of Tyranids. As a consequence of his heroic actions in the skies above, Sergeant Fenrir is promoted to Captain of the 4th Company.

995.M41 - [Tarth System] The Heresy at Novastad Prime

During a routine recruiting mission to the Death World of Novastad Prime, in the neighboring system of Tarth, Captain Fenrir discovered disturbing signs of heretical behavior from some of the aspirants in the Blood Trials. Fenrir's investigations led him discover a traitorous cult dedicated to the dark God Khorne. A full extermination of the entire village attracted the attentions of a brigade led by Khârn the Betrayer, who launched a full assault against the unprepared Captain. Through the fighting, Captain Fenrir was able to engage the Betrayer in single combat, and though he was near fatally wounded, he was able to disable the traitor and remove him from the battle.

This minor victory was enough to ruin the moral of the assaulting Chaos marines, and allowed the Grey Wolves to recover their fallen Captain and make a fighting withdrawal. Similarly, having taken too many casualties and with their great leader incapacitated, the Traitor Marines collected their Champion and abandoned the planet to recoup their losses.

Persons of Note

Chapter Master Lord Conner Bodolf
Previously a decorated Tyrannic War Veteran of the Ultramarines, Conner Bodolf was handpicked by Chaplain Ortan Cassius, and approved by Marneus Calgar and the High Lords of Terra to assume command of the Grey Wolves. He is reknown for his stubborn refusal to accept defeat and his ability as an exceptional defender.

Captain of the 4th Company, Luk “Khârn’s-Bane” Fenrir
Fenrir rose to fame in the chapter in 757.M41 during the 'First Blood' campaign in the Nuntis system, during the famous battle 'Fenrir's Culling'. His heroic actions lead to his promotion to Captain of the 4th Company where he currently serves. To date, Fenrir is the only Captain to have been promoted without first serving time and distinction in the notorious but glorious Forlorn Hope.

 

As with all Battle Company Grey Wolves Captains, Fenrir is currently juggling the responsibilities of recruitment and the protection of the Imperium of Man. His Battle Barge, the Eternal Vigilance is home to the entire 4th company, including secondments from the venerable 1st company. 

The nickname "Khârn's Bane" was affectionately gifted upon the Captain by his men following the outcome of a duel between Fenrir and the legendary Khârn the Betrayer during the 'Heresy at Novastad Prime', where the nobel Capatin was able to narrowly best the traitor before succumbing to his wounds.

Apothecary Trevor McDonald
Recruited by the Ultramarines from the highlands of Ultramar in the blood trials of 693.M41 and selected for duty with the Grey Wolves, Trevor McDonald is a trusted ally of Captain Luk “Khârn’s-Bane” Fenrir and often fights alongside his Captain. McDonald is credited with saving the lives of the Captain and his Command Squad on uncountable occasions, including saving Captain Fenrir's life after receiving multiple grievous wounds during his duel with Khârn the Betrayer.

Chaplain Ortan Cassius of the Ultramarines
Chaplain Ortan Cassius is responsible for the formation of the Grey Wolves and the selection of Conner Bodolf as Chapter Master. Despite having his own great responsibilities to the Ultramarines. Cassius does on very rare occasion lend his service to the Grey Wolves, and is said to view them with great and uncharacteristic warmth.

More can be found out about Chaplain Ortan Cassius at Index Astartes Ultramarines.

Master of the Scouts Niall Farkas

Scout Sergeant Gunnolf Lyall

Father Librarian of the 4th Company, Lykaios Phelan

Techmarine Ulric Weylyn

Inquisitor Drogon Thormir of the Ordo Xenos

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

I'd love some feedback on this as I'm writing it if anyone can spare the time. The whole thing is still very much WIP and things can be changed if needed, for example, I don't know if I'm straying too much into Ultramarines Fluff for my own good - I've tried to keep it low key and acceptable as best I can though.

[Veteran Sergeant]

I guess the big question is "Why?"  Why the Ultramarines fluff so hard?  I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, the Ultramarines are probably the best foundation for a DIY chapter because you can do anything you want without having to explain hoodie bathrobes or fangs or psychotic episodes, etc.  But at the same time, it's not really needed for the story in a lot of places.

Name: Drop the "Ultra Wolves" thing.  Not only does it sound silly, there's really no reason a Chapter would take one name, and then switch a few years later unless it was run by perfectionist hobby nerds obsessing over having just the right name (us). Almost none of the Ultramarines successors are called "Ultra Something". Leave the derivative names to the unimaginitive successor chapters like the Dark Angels and Blood Angels. ;)

History: Chapters don't begin as offshoots of anything anymore.  2nd Founding Chapters were derived by breaking up the Legions.  The subsequent Foundings have been created "from scratch".  The AdMech makes a new chapter, trains it up, and equips it, and sends it out to do its thing. Popular belief/understanding is that small cadres of Space Marines from an existing Chapter are used as the core for the Chapter's initial officers and such.  That could be your tie to the Tyrannid Hunters.  One thing to think about, though.  The 26th Founding was well before the main invasion of Hive Fleet Behemoth and the Battle of Macragge (and, by consequence, the emergence of the Tyranid Hunters).  So, if you want to tie the chapter into Tyranid Hunters still, you can say that they participated in battles against Hive Fleet Behemoth and adopted Calgar's treatises on the Tyranids to form their own Tyranid Hunter cadres.

In fact, the Ultramarines were so badly hurt by the Battle of Macragge, that it's unlikely they'd have given up too many of their veteran Marines for a newly founded chapter at all. It took them 100 years just to refill the 1st Company to full strength. If your chapter has actual Ultramarines as its training cadre, then it makes much more sense for them to have departed the Ultramarines before Hive Fleet Behemoth.

Don't get too wrapped up in the "Why were they founded" question.  Honestly, I'd love to see that entry removed from the "How should I make a DIY" primer, lol.  You don't really need to explore "why" a Space Marine chapter was founded.  The answer is always: "Because they needed some new ones".  Chapters get destroyed occasionally.  Or lost.  Or depleted so far it makes them ineffective for long periods of time.  If your chapter is based in the Ultima Segmentum, especially the eastern part, it's gonna fight Tyranids fairly often because they are there.

Organization:  "Suicide Squads"  I dunno about this one.  Two reasons.  First:  All Space Marine squads are suicide squads, lol.  Dropping into overwhelming numbers to accomplish absurdly hard missions is just called a "normal mission" for Space Marines. Second: No Space Marine squads are suicide squads. Space Marines are too valuable to just throw away.  Especially veteran ones. You foster experienced units by maintaining them and applying their use properly.  Not by throwing them into a blender and seeing what comes out in a big enough piece to reuse.

 

Characters and mythology:  Go light on the Norse mythology. Games Workshop already pillaged every bit of Norse mythology they could get their grubby hands on when they evolved the Space Wolves into some silly Vikings in Space trope. Fenrir sounds too much like Fenris, and Fenris has already been used, sadly.  Are you trying to write fluff to explain why you've got Ultramarines successors using Codex: Space Wolves to play?  If so, don't worry about it. There's ultimately nothing "wolfy" about the Space Wolves list unless you make it to be that way. Everything "wolf" in that codex can easily be something else.  Giant lions, tigers or bears (oh my).

Chaplain Cassius is busy being an Ultramarine, and it's hard to see why he would have had anything to do with the founding or selection of new successor chapter's officers even if he wasn't. Write your own veteran chaplain hero character, and run him "counts as" if you want.
 

[EzekyleVIII]

I'm a touch unsure about the Khârn bit.. As far as I'm aware no one has even come close to putting him down since the battle for the emperors palace. He's the hardest marine this side of daemon hood, arguably the most crazy, your captain would have had his head chopped I fear, have him beat lucius and change maybe?

[Ferrata]

First off, drop the Ultra Wolves part as Veteran Sergeant said - start with Grey Wolves. It isn't the most interesting of names, but it is a good name that doesn't sound stupid. The same cannot be said for Ultra Wolves. Plus, chapters very rarely change their names. Even the traitor legions didn't change their name when they went bad - so I doubt a SM chapter will do it for no apparent reason. Grey Wolves is a good name, use it.

 

Like others have said, the timing is a little off. The 26th Founding occurred just before the first Tyranid invasion. The founding is probably going to take more than a year, but it still feels too swift for the Imperium. First they need to realise the Tyranids are a major, dangerous threat. They then need to create a new chapter - but they need to get the Tyrand War Veterans to them, which I'm not sure if they had been founded yet. It makes more sense that a new chapter was seconded to that region of space, under the guidance of some Ultramarine veterans and flew straight into the eye of the Tyranids. You now have a chapter with its own vendetta against the Tyranids.

 

The Ultramarines don't have blind faith in the Emperor or Guilliman, they respect them has pinnacle of mankind but men nonetheless. 

 

No one has a good relationship with the entirety of the Inquisition, even just one of the Ordos, they barely get along among themselves. Tone that down a little bit - they have worked alongside Inquisitors etc.

 

Drop the Khârn stuff - wrong side of the Universe. You can't have Tyranids and Khârn seeing as one is in the East and the other in the West. 

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I don't believe any loyalist in the 40th millenium can best Khârn in close combat. I CAN believe a loyalist can survive just long enough to attach a krak grenade to Khârn's armor, the detonation of which will disable the Betrayer. (Naturally, Khârn can deny he was bested in close combat, and that the Grey Wolf's victory was achieved through trickery and a technological crutch.)

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

Thank you all for your valuable feedback. There's a lot there to consider. Some of it I agree with, some I don't.

First of all, (and I should have perhaps led with this) this 'story' is based loosely on the real life beginnings of my chapter. I want it to be, that way it's more meaningful to me, and it allows my chapters history to grow organically.

Some stone cold facts then:

1. They started off as Ultramarines. Then Were stripped and repainted

2. My first opponent for my first bazillion games was Tyranids, the army was designed to fight them.

3. Upon finding my FLGS a popular opponant of mine plays a Khârn army

4. In a challenge, Captain Fenrir beat Khârn. Hands down.

5. Consequently, my Captain earns the nickname "Kharns Bane" to mock my opponant. The name stuck.

So, with that in mind, I'll address individual points. To keep thing clear, I'll add my words in Red.

I guess the big question is "Why?" Why the Ultramarines fluff so hard? I mean, there's nothing wrong with it, the Ultramarines are probably the best foundation for a DIY chapter because you can do anything you want without having to explain hoodie bathrobes or fangs or psychotic episodes, etc. But at the same time, it's not really needed for the story in a lot of places.

Well, they need a founding chapter, the Ultramarines make sense as you say so yourself. It also gains me access to experienced Tyrannic War Veterans, which ties in nicely with my chapters in real life beginnings.

Name: Drop the "Ultra Wolves" thing. Not only does it sound silly, there's really no reason a Chapter would take one name, and then switch a few years later unless it was run by perfectionist hobby nerds obsessing over having just the right name (us). Almost none of the Ultramarines successors are called "Ultra Something". Leave the derivative names to the unimaginitive successor chapters like the Dark Angels and Blood Angels.

You're right, Of course. Consider it dropped

History: Chapters don't begin as offshoots of anything anymore. 2nd Founding Chapters were derived by breaking up the Legions. The subsequent Foundings have been created "from scratch". The AdMech makes a new chapter, trains it up, and equips it, and sends it out to do its thing. Popular belief/understanding is that small cadres of Space Marines from an existing Chapter are used as the core for the Chapter's initial officers and such. That could be your tie to the Tyrannid Hunters.

Indeed, that's what I was trying to put across, I'll reword my section to make that a bit more obvious. I'm trying to say that a few Tyrannic War Vets formed the HQ staff, and the rest was Grey Wolves geneseed

One thing to think about, though. The 26th Founding was well before the main invasion of Hive Fleet Behemoth and the Battle of Macragge (and, by consequence, the emergence of the Tyranid Hunters). So, if you want to tie the chapter into Tyranid Hunters still, you can say that they participated in battles against Hive Fleet Behemoth and adopted Calgar's treatises on the Tyranids to form their own Tyranid Hunter cadres.

Ah now, here I think I'm OK. My understanding is that a 'founding' can last many years, coupled with the slow administration pace of the Imperium, and the whole space time distortion thing present in the 40k universe, I think I can quite comfortably say it the Grey Wolves were founded towards the end of the 26th founding. Let me know

In fact, the Ultramarines were so badly hurt by the Battle of Macragge, that it's unlikely they'd have given up too many of their veteran Marines for a newly founded chapter at all. It took them 100 years just to refill the 1st Company to full strength. If your chapter has actual Ultramarines as its training cadre, then it makes much more sense for them to have departed the Ultramarines before Hive Fleet Behemoth.

Can I say that only a dozen or so Tyrannic War Vets went over, and therefore the Grey Wolves are not up to full strength in some of their companies?

Don't get too wrapped up in the "Why were they founded" question. Honestly, I'd love to see that entry removed from the "How should I make a DIY" primer, lol. You don't really need to explore "why" a Space Marine chapter was founded. The answer is always: "Because they needed some new ones". Chapters get destroyed occasionally. Or lost. Or depleted so far it makes them ineffective for long periods of time. If your chapter is based in the Ultima Segmentum, especially the eastern part, it's gonna fight Tyranids fairly often because they are there.

I like my "Why" section, it's only brief and it gives them a bit of flavour. And I didn't say they're based in the Ultima Segmentum. Tyranids invade all over the place, the Grey Wolves home system of "Nuntis" has not been plotted on a map by me yet - it could be anywhere!

Organization: "Suicide Squads" I dunno about this one. Two reasons. First: All Space Marine squads are suicide squads, lol. Dropping into overwhelming numbers to accomplish absurdly hard missions is just called a "normal mission" for Space Marines. Second: No Space Marine squads are suicide squads. Space Marines are too valuable to just throw away. Especially veteran ones. You foster experienced units by maintaining them and applying their use properly. Not by throwing them into a blender and seeing what comes out in a big enough piece to reuse.

Ahh, this one reflects my in game tactics. I stick some Sternguard's in a drop pod with Combi Meltas and send them in as a suicide unit. Also, I respectfully disagree with your idea of how to use veterans - I say put them in the position of most peril - They're vets - chances are that they'll be the only ones who can get the job done!

Characters and mythology: Go light on the Norse mythology. Games Workshop already pillaged every bit of Norse mythology they could get their grubby hands on when they evolved the Space Wolves into some silly Vikings in Space trope. Fenrir sounds too much like Fenris, and Fenris has already been used, sadly. Are you trying to write fluff to explain why you've got Ultramarines successors using Codex: Space Wolves to play? If so, don't worry about it. There's ultimately nothing "wolfy" about the Space Wolves list unless you make it to be that way. Everything "wolf" in that codex can easily be something else. Giant lions, tigers or bears (oh my).

Honesty don't know where you got this one from. I can only assume that like so many others you saw Grey Wolves, and thought Space Wolves. The Grey Wolves are a codex Chapter, they use C:SM, there's nothing Norse about their background other than one or two names. But then saying that, there's several names that are not Nordic at all. Either way, names do not a Nordic mythology make :)The one thing that many of the names have in common, is I've tried to have them mean something to do with 'Wolf', but the names generally come from a multitude of origins

Chaplain Cassius is busy being an Ultramarine, and it's hard to see why he would have had anything to do with the founding or selection of new successor chapter's officers even if he wasn't. Write your own veteran chaplain hero character, and run him "counts as" if you want.

Cassius formed the Tyrannic War Vets, I see no reason why he could not have taken that a step further and suggested that a new chapter be made to fill the same role at the other side of the universe?

I'm a touch unsure about the Khârn bit.. As far as I'm aware no one has even come close to putting him down since the battle for the emperors palace. He's the hardest marine this side of daemon hood, arguably the most crazy, your captain would have had his head chopped I fear, have him beat lucius and change maybe?

Ah now I was concerned about this too, I don't want my chapter to seem like ultra-cheese, but similarly it is important to me to reflect my in real life achievements in the fluff. I tried as best I could to balance out the cheese by showing how Fenrir nearly died and was essentially very lucky to be alive. If you've suggestions on how I could do that better, let me know!

First off, drop the Ultra Wolves part as Veteran Sergeant said - start with Grey Wolves. It isn't the most interesting of names, but it is a good name that doesn't sound stupid. The same cannot be said for Ultra Wolves. Plus, chapters very rarely change their names. Even the traitor legions didn't change their name when they went bad - so I doubt a SM chapter will do it for no apparent reason. Grey Wolves is a good name, use it.

Dropped

Like others have said, the timing is a little off. The 26th Founding occurred just before the first Tyranid invasion. The founding is probably going to take more than a year, but it still feels too swift for the Imperium. First they need to realise the Tyranids are a major, dangerous threat. They then need to create a new chapter - but they need to get the Tyrand War Veterans to them, which I'm not sure if they had been founded yet. It makes more sense that a new chapter was seconded to that region of space, under the guidance of some Ultramarine veterans and flew straight into the eye of the Tyranids. You now have a chapter with its own vendetta against the Tyranids.

Foundings can last a long time, I envision the Grey Wolves to have been formed after the events at the Battle for Macragge

The Ultramarines don't have blind faith in the Emperor or Guilliman, they respect them has pinnacle of mankind but men nonetheless.

Do they not? OK I'll change that bit cheers

No one has a good relationship with the entirety of the Inquisition, even just one of the Ordos, they barely get along among themselves. Tone that down a little bit - they have worked alongside Inquisitors etc.

I'll have a look, but it doesn't seem like I've painted the Ordo Xenos/Astartes relationship too rosey - All I said was that The Chapter Master is on good terms with them, and that due to their Tyrand focus, the Grey Wolves are a good choice for 'training missions' for new Deathwatch Recruits

Drop the Khârn stuff - wrong side of the Universe. You can't have Tyranids and Khârn seeing as one is in the East and the other in the West.

Tyranids are invading from all over. In addition, I've not even said where the "Nuntis" system actually is, so I'm not sure how you can conclude that Tyranids can't invade Nuntis if Khârn invades the neighboring system of "Tarth" or Vica Verca!?

I don't believe any loyalist in the 40th millenium can best Khârn in close combat. I CAN believe a loyalist can survive just long enough to attach a krak grenade to Khârn's armor, the detonation of which will disable the Betrayer. (Naturally, Khârn can deny he was bested in close combat, and that the Grey Wolf's victory was achieved through trickery and a technological crutch.)

Yeah as I mentioned above, The Kharne bit is important to me, but if anyone has any suggestions for a more reasonable sequence of events where Fenrir beats Khârn in a duel, let me know! (If it helps, in the game in question, Khârn had already shot himself in the foot with his own Plasma Pistol once already!)

[Banelord]

I don't believe any loyalist in the 40th millenium can best Khârn in close combat. I CAN believe a loyalist can survive just long enough to attach a krak grenade to Khârn's armor, the detonation of which will disable the Betrayer. (Naturally, Khârn can deny he was bested in close combat, and that the Grey Wolf's victory was achieved through trickery and a technological crutch.)

Yeah as I mentioned above, The Kharne bit is important to me, but if anyone has any suggestions for a more reasonable sequence of events where Fenrir beats Khârn in a duel, let me know! (If it helps, in the game in question, Khârn had already shot himself in the foot with his own Plasma Pistol once already!)

If you really need to keep the “Khârn’s Bane” I would change

it from “narrowly best” to “barely survived”, maybe something happened that

prevented Khârn delivering the killer blow ( a stray bolter round, artillery

shell or plasma shot). Khârn’s body is never found but Luk surviving would be

seen as lucky or the will of the Emperor.

[ChaplainMathreyn]

Honestly... I'd ditch Khârn, entirely...

 

I'd make up some Khorne Warlord, give him some backstory to make him just abit more vicious, experienced, and terrifying, and then have my Chapter Master kill him to show how awesome I am... 'You know that large invasion that has carved its way across the Segmentum? Yeah well, you're welcome, everyone..."

 

I'd stay away from named characters... Mainly because it seems shoe-horned and because I can create antagonists for my Chapter, too...

[Veteran Sergeant]

 

Ah now, here I think I'm OK. My
understanding is that a 'founding' can last many years, coupled with the
slow administration pace of the Imperium, and the whole space time
distortion thing present in the 40k universe, I think I can quite
comfortably say it the Grey Wolves were founded towards the end of the
26th founding. Let me know

I will never tell anyone what to do with their stories, lol.  I'm not the authority on 40K, I just do a lot of writing and copyediting (and I've been around this silly game way too long) so I lend my assistance here.  I was just bringing up something I know will meet with a lot of questions. You're correct that we don't really know how long a Founding "lasts" in terms of when they start. 

 

 

Honesty don't know where you got this one from.

I wasn't sure if you were running a "Counts As" army that spans more than one Codex.  Some players try to justify why their chapter can use multiple codex army books by trying to mesh a lot of ideas together, when it isn't really necessary.  I didn't know if you were doing it or not, but I wanted to consolidate all my thoughts into one post. My personal opinion is that there's no need to explain so much about it, unless you really do have your Marines riding into battle on Thunderwolves, lol.  If you don't you can disregard that whole paragraph.

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

 

Ah now, here I think I'm OK. My

understanding is that a 'founding' can last many years, coupled with the

slow administration pace of the Imperium, and the whole space time

distortion thing present in the 40k universe, I think I can quite

comfortably say it the Grey Wolves were founded towards the end of the

26th founding. Let me know

I will never tell anyone what to do with their stories, lol.  I'm not the authority on 40K, I just do a lot of writing and copyediting (and I've been around this silly game way too long) so I lend my assistance here.  I was just bringing up something I know will meet with a lot of questions. You're correct that we don't really know how long a Founding "lasts" in terms of when they start. 

 

 

>Honesty don't know where you got this one from.

I wasn't sure if you were running a "Counts As" army that spans more than one Codex.  Some players try to justify why their chapter can use multiple codex army books by trying to mesh a lot of ideas together, when it isn't really necessary.  I didn't know if you were doing it or not, but I wanted to consolidate all my thoughts into one post. My personal opinion is that there's no need to explain so much about it, unless you really do have your Marines riding into battle on Thunderwolves, lol.  If you don't you can disregard that whole paragraph.

 

Cheers fella,

 

I really do appreciate your feedback though. I've made subtle changes regarding the origins and inquisition though. Reckon they'll fly?

[Ferrata]

re: Founding - Yes, we aren't sure how long a founding takes place but lets look at the facts we do know. The 26th Founding was 739, the Battle of Macragge 745 - so you are starting 6 years behind. If you say your chapter was founded at the end of the 26th founding, it seems too tight to have the Ultramarines send marines to this new chapter (created on Mars) and then have the chapter shipped out to the Eastern Fringes. 

 

re: Inquisition - I was saying that you don't have a good relationship with the entire of the Inquisition, just a small group of them at best. The Inquisition is vast and complex, and it is likely that most inquisitors don't know about your chapter or care (because they are on the other side of the galaxy).

 

re: Tyranids - Last time I checked, and this could have changed since I did last check, but the Tyranids are invading from the galactic east - not all over. Yes, they are all over the Eastern Fringes but they are not coming in from the galactic west - where the Eye of Terror is and where Khârn is presumably. The galaxy is vast, it is difficult to be east and west - especially if your chapter is only 200 years old.

[Olis]

Iirc, there is a Tyranid hive fleet that is attacking the (eastern-ish) Segmentum Solar from below the galactic plane. I do believe it is that latest Hive Fleet discovered (which was in the closing years, possibly the last decade, of the 41st millenium).

[Aqui]

I won't go into what has been said already (as the others have pretty much said what I would have said), but for me "suspension of disbelief" fails when I read the Apothecary's name. Not sure if it's a co-incidence, but using a tv newsreader's name (even if he is a legend ) kinda spoils it for me at least. I can't (and won't) say you can't use it (it's not my place and most if not all of the names I use are derivative ), but it might bear consideration. Even without that taken into account, the name itself seems to jar with the others as they seem to be more "Nordic" in nature.

[Olis]

I'd concur. "Trevor" doesn't fit in and isn't exactly that most manly of names. I'd advise ditching it.

[Aqui]

I'd concur. "Trevor" doesn't fit in and isn't exactly that most manly of names. I'd advise ditching it.

 

That's my dad's name :lol:

[Olis]

Don't tell him I said that. :ph34r:

[Aqui]

Don't tell him I said that.

:lol:

J!MM!L!C!OUS, I was once asked one question when I (re)started one of my DIY Chapters by Liber member Juan Juarez:

"What one thing characterises them as a Chapter?"

Sometimes it makes writing an IA far simpler if you ask yourself this question (or indeed others, but if perhaps we start at this one). My answer to that question when asked was "Mistrust".

What one thing characterises your Chapter? What drives them? What are their goals?

Ultimately, if what you already have is fine for you, then fair enough ^_^ but I'm just interested in what your answer to that question would be ^_^

[Octavulg]

I'm going to suggest you make your Chapter older, because it solves many problems and aggravates only one.<br /><br />For one thing, it makes the Khârn thing much easier to work with - instead of it being a modern thing, it's simply an older thing. Centuries ago, a Captain of your chapter fought Khârn, and, according to Chapter legend, killed him. That guy running around today? Clearly some imitator - your chapter knows what happened.<br /><br />As to the Nids angle - they fought in the Zorastra-Attila War against the Zoats (who use Nid weapons). Of course, they didn't know those were Nids at the time. Don't get into detail or anything - just mention they fought in the war shortly after their founding. Alternately, perhaps your chapter fought Genestealers a lot (since they predate Hive Fleets). And then there's the Ouroboros Wars. Or Hive Fleet Tiamet. Look around a bit. That's a start fighting Nids (which satisfies your game-fluff relationship, I think), and then they can get large-scale Nid fighting experience when everyone else does - in the Tyrannic Wars.

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

Thanks again everyone for your interest and feedback. Same as before, my comments in Red.

re: Founding - Yes, we aren't sure how long a founding takes place but lets look at the facts we do know. The 26th Founding was 739, the Battle of Macragge 745 - so you are starting 6 years behind. If you say your chapter was founded at the end of the 26th founding, it seems too tight to have the Ultramarines send marines to this new chapter (created on Mars) and then have the chapter shipped out to the Eastern Fringes.

Sorry but I don't understand (I could be being really dumb, so be patient). My marines only need to be ready for 755.M41, Given that the battle for Macragge is 745.M41, this gives them 10 years? Are we saying thisis too short a time? If so, Suggest a date, and I'll be happy to swap them about

re: Inquisition - I was saying that you don't have a good relationship with the entire of the Inquisition, just a small group of them at best. The Inquisition is vast and complex, and it is likely that most inquisitors don't know about your chapter or care (because they are on the other side of the galaxy).

I've changed my bit about the inquisition slightly after your last post. Have a look and see if you'd still change it, and if so, how?

re: Tyranids - Last time I checked, and this could have changed since I did last check, but the Tyranids are invading from the galactic east - not all over. Yes, they are all over the Eastern Fringes but they are not coming in from the galactic west - where the Eye of Terror is and where Khârn is presumably. The galaxy is vast, it is difficult to be east and west - especially if your chapter is only 200 years old.

You may be right, I only presumed. Surely though it's not beyond reason that if the planet in question has something he wanted, that Khârn might travel through warp space to somewhere far away to get it?

Iirc, there is a Tyranid hive fleet that is attacking the (eastern-ish) Segmentum Solar from below the galactic plane. I do believe it is that latest Hive Fleet discovered (which was in the closing years, possibly the last decade, of the 41st millenium).

In real life... hahah

I won't go into what has been said already (as the others have pretty much said what I would have said), but for me "suspension of disbelief" fails when I read the Apothecary's name. Not sure if it's a co-incidence, but using a tv newsreader's name (even if he is a legend ) kinda spoils it for me at least. I can't (and won't) say you can't use it (it's not my place and most if not all of the names I use are derivative ), but it might bear consideration. Even without that taken into account, the name itself seems to jar with the others as they seem to be more "Nordic" in nature.

Ah Trevor, yes. Well, I can explain that. It's because the model I painted for him looks like Trevor McDonald (Check for yourself on my WIP log in my sig), so he got the nickname at my FLGS and it stuck (Funny how that keeps happening). I do agree its a bit funny, but at the end of the day, its just a name, and its as his bio states that he came from the 'Highlands' it kinda works because its Scottish sounding.

I'd concur. "Trevor" doesn't fit in and isn't exactly that most manly of names. I'd advise ditching it.

No can do sorry, it's more important to me to have little personal nuances like that, than it is to have people with names like "Ryzalgor Thundershaft"

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

Don't tell him I said that.

J!MM!L!C!OUS, I was once asked one question when I (re)started one of my DIY Chapters by Liber member Juan Juarez:

"What one thing characterises them as a Chapter?"

Sometimes it makes writing an IA far simpler if you ask yourself this question (or indeed others, but if perhaps we start at this one). My answer to that question when asked was "Mistrust".

What one thing characterises your Chapter? What drives them? What are their goals?

Ultimately, if what you already have is fine for you, then fair enough but I'm just interested in what your answer to that question would be

Good question. Probably their desire to prove themselves worthy of their somewhat regal heritage? I suspect that they're proving it to themselves too, like a nagging self doubt.

I'm going to suggest you make your Chapter older, because it solves many problems and aggravates only one.<br /><br />For one thing, it makes the Khârn thing much easier to work with - instead of it being a modern thing, it's simply an older thing. Centuries ago, a Captain of your chapter fought Khârn, and, according to Chapter legend, killed him. That guy running around today? Clearly some imitator - your chapter knows what happened.<br /><br />As to the Nids angle - they fought in the Zorastra-Attila War against the Zoats (who use Nid weapons). Of course, they didn't know those were Nids at the time. Don't get into detail or anything - just mention they fought in the war shortly after their founding. Alternately, perhaps your chapter fought Genestealers a lot (since they predate Hive Fleets). And then there's the Ouroboros Wars. Or Hive Fleet Tiamet. Look around a bit. That's a start fighting Nids (which satisfies your game-fluff relationship, I think), and then they can get large-scale Nid fighting experience when everyone else does - in the Tyrannic Wars.

Thank you for the detailed idea, the biggest problem I have with that is first and foremost, to say that I'd outright killed Khârn would make me a laughing stock, most people so far are having issues with even the fact that I fought him and didn't get splattered.

The second big issue I have with that is I would lose all my connecting Ultramarines fluff which I kind of like. Literally, it would be a complete reboot.

I have a question. I've had lots of comments (Thank you very much). But aside from the (very) welcome suggestions, no one has told me if they actually like my IA, either the story or my writing style. I'd really appreciate it if you folks could let me know. I can take it

[Octavulg]

Thank you for the detailed idea, the biggest problem I have with that is first and foremost, to say that I'd outright killed Khârn would make me a laughing stock, most people so far are having issues with even the fact that I fought him and didn't get splattered.

Sidebar:

"There are many legends of the Grey Wolves chapter, but one of their most commonly recited is the story of how, centuries ago, Captain Luk Fenrir of the Fourth Company faced Khârn the Betrayer and defeated him in single combat, taking a part of the Khornate's armor as a token of victory.

Imperial sources are unanimous in their condemnation of this legend as abominable fiction and empty self-aggrandizement, but a broken red shoulder pauldron still holds pride of place in the Chapter's trophy chamber.*"

Problem solved.

*Trophies are kept in the Reclusiam. But if you SAY Reclusiam, someone will wander along and wonder why your Marines are worshipping it.

The second big issue I have with that is I would lose all my connecting Ultramarines fluff which I kind of like. Literally, it would be a complete reboot.

Did you edit it out? Because little or none of what's there can't be rejigged into "working closely with the Ultramarines" or "this happened thousands of years ago when the Chapter was founded".

The bit in "History" would move to the present day (in a Later History section).

But aside from the (very) welcome suggestions, no one has told me if they actually like my IA, either the story or my writing style. I'd really appreciate it if you folks could let me know. I can take it smile.png

The writing style is fine. Not great, but mine's not that great and I do OK. You can spell and appear to have a grasp of grammar, so you're much more fun to read than many.

As to the chapter: I hate Nordic wolf-themed chapters. The Space Wolves drive me up the damn wall, and thus we find ourselves here. This is not your fault. Also, right now there's not really much personality here to feel strongly about. You haven't really gotten into what your marines are like, and what underlies the chapter.

That said, I think melding the Ultramarines Romanesque legion-style themes with a Fenrisian-style culture could be neat as all hell.

Anyway, I'm going to go through the thing in more detail below:

Strength: Defending with massed firepower and deadly counter assault

This is, IMO, an effectively meaningless phrase.

Battle Cry: Lupus stat praesidio (The Wolf stands guard)

Good. Though I never explain my mottos, because I'm a jerk. And because it feels more dramatic.

The Grey Wolves chapter was formed following the events of the Battle for Macragge at the end of the 26th Founding. Under the guidance of Chaplain Ortan Cassius in relation to the sheer magnitude of the Tyranid threat, it was agreed that a greater, more autonomous elite presence would be needed in the galaxy to combat future xenos invasions, thus with several volunteers from Cassius' Tyrannic War Veterans to provide experience and assume positions of command, the Grey Wolves were formed and dispatched to the furthest reaches of Imperial space, to the Nuntis system to hold the front line against the advances of Hive Fleet Litoria.

See, this bit can just move to the present day. Your boys are shocked to hear of the damage to the Ultramarines, and recognize the threat the Nids pose. You send individuals and squads to learn from the TWV, and try to prepare yourselves for the onslaught of the Nids.

As a Codex chapter, the Grey Wolves follow the doctrines of the Codex Astartes with regards to force Organisation, with all but one exception. Advancement in the Grey wolves requires distinguished service in the Suicide Squads.

Might want to change the name, then...

The Forlorn Hope are comprised of the most experienced, and bravest marines in the chapter.

Impossible. Logically, they're the second-most experienced Marines. The most experienced ones are the ones who have survived and are now leading things.

Superlatives can cut you if you're not careful.

Once accepted into the ranks of the Forlorn Hope, each marine is expected to paint his helmet bright yellow as a sign of his honoured status. This helmet then remains this way for the rest of his career.

What works on the battlefield of 40K and what works in the fluff does not always have to be reconciled. You worry overmuch, I think.

Plus, this seems very wasteful. Lots of men and equipment could be lost this way. Especially fighting Tyranids.

Where some Astartes are happy to pit aspirant against aspirant in a battle to the death, the Grey Wolves instead choose to make better use of their Blood Trials. All aspirants are initially screened by chapter Librarians and Chaplains. Following this, the Neophytes are organised into squads and given basic Imperial Guard equipment, and are then utilized as cheap troops. The survivors are assessed, and those few found suitable are processed into Scouts.

Ten year olds make poor soldiers. Also, viable candidates are not so common that one should be spendthrift with them.

The Master of Scouts

As with most Codex chapters, the 10th company is reserved for neophites and scouts. Consequently the 10th rarely go to battle as a company, but rather as seconded units to other companies. Currently Scout Sergeant Gunnolf Lyall leads a group of scouts seconded to the 4th company. In order to better train and observe scouts in the field, the Master of Scouts Niall Farkas currently serves in Captain Fenrir's Command Squad as a shield bearer.

He's still a bloody Captain. Him being a shield-bearer is borderline insulting.

Seriously, I'm a little offended on his behalf.

Led by the new Chapter Master Lord Conner Bodolf, the infantile Grey Wolves enter the Nuntis system in 755.M41 and head straight for the focus of a Tyranid invasion on Larentia V. There they assume control of the local militia and simultaneously provide air support for evacuating ships, and slow the tide of the advancing Tyranids. Estimates show that thanks to Astartes intervention, as much as 65% of the Hive world’s dense population was saved. Unfortunately due to the scale of the invasion, much of the planet itself was assimilated and consumed in giant Tyranid Reclamation Pools. Despite overwhelming odds, Bodolf is able to maintain defence of the planet for two years, denying the Tyranid’s total victory.

Could do the whole "let them eat the place, then nuke them" thing. It's certainly effective.

Chaplain Ortan Cassius of the Ultramarines

Chaplain Ortan Cassius is responsible for the formation of the Grey Wolves and the selection of Conner Bodolf as Chapter Master. Despite having his own great responsibilities to the Ultramarines. Cassius does on very rare occasion lend his service to the Grey Wolves, and is said to view them with great and uncharacteristic warmth.

Tsk tsk. Having official characters like your chapter is a bit gauche, IMO. Feels very fanficcy.

* * *

It's not bad, but history isn't interesting in a vacuum. We need to care about the chapter (and, preferably, the characters). For that, you need to get into who they are, not what they did.

[J!MM!L!C!OUS]

Thanks for that valuable feedback Octavulg. I've taken on board what you've said and I've had a read of you IA guide.

 

Now that the B&C is back up again I'll do some brainstorming and rewriting. Hopefully you'll be good enough to check back at a later date :)

[Octavulg]

I am eternally vigilant.