IT: Thornbacks

[Firepower]

Worse still, as the most fertile part of the planet, the swamps, and thus the Thornbacks and some of the native tribes, are host to the yearly mating migration of the pebble men.

Ah. I see. This is just where a couple of ideas came into a sudden collision with no seat belts.

 

'Worse still, the swamps which serve as the destination of the pebble mens' annual mating migration are also the most fertile fields on the planet'

 

That seems better, but still a bit scatter brained.

Edited March 2, 2013 by Firepower

[Messor]

Fear not, I'll sort it out.

 

edit: And I think the changes have been made without breaking anything.

Edited March 4, 2013 by Messor

[Messor]

Blast from the past. I finally tied off some dangling sections (and fixed some broken formatting), aaand I think this old IT is done. I will need to make another traitor faction sometime. They're fun.

[Brother Cambrius]

Always good to see some old blasts from the past and the constant tears are a superbly unique touch.

 

As these were posted prior to the splitting of the LIBER, I've moved it to LIBER CHAOTICA, where it can reside in its rightful place for those seeking Traitors to the Imperium. ;)

 

Cambrius

[Ace Debonair]

I am super, super out of practice at this, but if you'd like some C&C, I've got some to offer. Take it in the tone intended - I'm hoping to help you develop and improve the Thornbacks as a faction. Heck, you're an Old Liberite like me, you know the drill by now.

 

So, here's the thing that leaps out at me:

Aside from the Civil War, and even noting their vocal dislike of the place, it seems your Thornbacks don't actually battle against the Imperium at all.

 

In fact, there's not really anything preventing them from being loyalists still. Their old homeworld cheerfully swallowed a lie about what happened, and there's nobody around to prove the Thornbacks weren't in the right, and the remnants of the Hawks weren't the traitors. Why not just lie to everyone and carry on doing what they want? If they're not actively attacking the Imperium, then the 'actual' loyalists have bigger problems to worry about.

 

If you don't want your traitors to read like confused loyalists, then I'd say the obvious fix is to have consequences for their betrayal. There needs to be some kind of actual severance between the Thornbacks and the Imperium, so the Thornbacks can retaliate by pirating up and raiding the heck out of everywhere.

 

Logically, the Imperium's going to come for their homeworld, so maybe the Thornbacks just snare a few of the creatures they're named after (for keeping the traditions of Inancas alive), pack up a bunch of the population, and live on their fleets?

[Messor]

I am super, super out of practice at this, but if you'd like some C&C, I've got some to offer. Take it in the tone intended - I'm hoping to help you develop and improve the Thornbacks as a faction. Heck, you're an Old Liberite like me, you know the drill by now.

And I do want to improve them

 

So, here's the thing that leaps out at me:

Aside from the Civil War, and even noting their vocal dislike of the place, it seems your Thornbacks don't actually battle against the Imperium at all.

 

In fact, there's not really anything preventing them from being loyalists still. Their old homeworld cheerfully swallowed a lie about what happened, and there's nobody around to prove the Thornbacks weren't in the right, and the remnants of the Hawks weren't the traitors. Why not just lie to everyone and carry on doing what they want? If they're not actively attacking the Imperium, then the 'actual' loyalists have bigger problems to worry about.

 

If you don't want your traitors to read like confused loyalists, then I'd say the obvious fix is to have consequences for their betrayal. There needs to be some kind of actual severance between the Thornbacks and the Imperium, so the Thornbacks can retaliate by pirating up and raiding the heck out of everywhere.

 

Logically, the Imperium's going to come for their homeworld, so maybe the Thornbacks just snare a few of the creatures they're named after (for keeping the traditions of Inancas alive), pack up a bunch of the population, and live on their fleets?

Very valid points. They are intended to be a fairly formidable pirate force preying on loyalists, but I didn't do a good job indicating how or where or to what degree. Tentatively I'll expand the Combat Doctrine to feature some notable actions. It will also need to clarify that they make some effort, though, to minimize or eliminate evidence of their betrayal and their ongoing renegade activity to maintain the freedom they won for as long as possible. The homeworld is a closely guarded secret, so far. Because it was never a location the Hawks intended to go, it doesn't feature on records that enemies in the Imperium might use to search for them.

[Ace Debonair]

Oh, I like the sounds of that a lot more.

Sneaky, low-key treachery rather than just defiantly burning flags on the nearest Imperial world is a very workable idea.

 

I'd  be tempted to suggest the Thornbacks wearing different heraldry when they're engaging in their less-than-loyal activities, to better draw suspicion away from them.

In fact, I'd be tempted to suggest having them use the old Hawks' heraldry as a disguise for their heresy, to damn Nomios' legacy in the eyes of everyone else.

[Brother Cambrius]

Ace brings up some really good points, great to see him fluff-mauling once more. :D His idea of them wearing the Hawk's old colours is a good one in my eyes, or to add to their new tactics befitting their world, they pull a Raptors trick and choose particular camouflages to hide their identity and work better in surprise attacks?

 

From that camo idea and regarding adding some notable events to help display the Thornbacks as a scourge upon loyalist fleets in the Imperium, perhaps a particular action where they stole a Flagship vessel from a sector's fleet in a surprise attack or severely damaging an orbital space-dock and ruining the staging point of a sector's fleet to make their campaigns for resources etc easier in that area? Atop this, with the events of the Noctis Aeterna, they'd have ripe pickings for commandeering fresh vessels for causing real damage and increasing their reputation as the Imperium was cut in two and easy prey for Chaos/Rebel elements as protective support depleted.

 

All in all, I do love this IT and look forwards to seeing what is updated. :D

 

Cambrius

[Messor]

I've made some changes to the combat doctrine that should do a better job addressing the means by which the Thornbacks have operated freely for as long as they have, and what seemed to me a fun idea for one of their most recent battles leading into the era of the Dark Imperium.