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Reverse 40k: The Only Way To Win Is To Lose


Reclusiarch Darius

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So, prompted by a reminder of the old Troll Servitor list I wrote last year, I thought I might open up a whole thread for writing terrible lists. Decency and mediocrity will not be considered, the challenge is to write the absolute worst list you can think of. Bonus points for thinking of a good theme or name for the army. It is acceptable to post terrible lists you have come across, but they make not stack up to a deliberate attempt to write a worse list. 

 

Some ground rules:

 

- You can include any unit you wish, but you cannot purchase upgrades that increase their threat potential. So, for example, a Tac Spam Marine list might have flamers and heavy bolters, but adding anti-tank/AP2 weapons would violate the principles of 'worst list possible'. 

- The above rule may be superseded, in cases where upgrades are ludicrously overpriced and thus lead to a single unit costing a lot. Be careful to ensure, for example with Devastators, that you don't accidentally make a decent unit with say lascannon spam. 

- HQ's must lack any synergy with your infantry choices, to the fullest extent you can manage. Warlord Traits will still sadly help at times, so try to avoid characters with good statlines, special rules or army buffs. 

- You may not include xenos Allies in this. Sadly, while IG have finally been added, xenos are still barred. Sorry guys, I too wish for Guardian spam :(

- You must include Knight Allies, if you aren't taking your primary detachment as them. Coteaz+3 Acolytes is acceptable. 

- Carefully consider whether adding vehicles/MC's/multi-wound units will make your list too good. There are some abysmal ones out there, but be sure to upgrade them awfully to cost more than they should. A handful of expensive, useless vehicles/MC's in a list can still cripple it, but if you take too many you might accidentally make the list good. 

- Remember to mention your awful strategy to accompany the list. Not attaching HQ's to infantry squads, Running, Go to Ground with shooting units every turn...get creative. 

- The list can be any point level. Ideally though, try and write a 2.5k list, so we can compare like with like. It must however be a legal list for the point level and slots you are using. Ie, if you are doing double Force Org at 2k, you need two HQ's and four Troops. 

 

To get everyone motivated, here is my attempt at the worst Knight list possible. 

 

HQ:

 

Coteaz (keep default powers, don't swap for Divination)

(100 points)

 

Inquisitor w/two null mauls, power armour, 3 x servo-skulls, psyocculum

(117 points)

 

Troops:

 

(6) 3 x Acolytes w/two storm shields, power armour, meltabombs, 8 x Servitors

(257 points each)

 

(3) 3 x Acolytes w/two storm shields, power armour, meltabombs, 7 x Servitors

(247 points each)

 

 

Total: 2,500 points

 

Don't attach Coteaz or Inquisitor, run them solo so they can be easily sniped. Don't cast any psychic powers either, and Run or Go to Ground every turn as well. Henchmen squads Run all game. Mindlock takes care of the rest. 

Hell, if you're allowing running, GTG every turn, just take max Monkeys. (Add a servitor for the Lulz)

HQ: Wizard of Space and Time (tongue.png)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Total: 2,500

Run, GTG, don't shoot, die to Mindlock and CC. msn-wink.gif

Less bodies than your list above, and worse in CC! WS1/S2 FTW! tongue.png

This has the added bonus of nulifying your Marvelous Customisation Joker Ability as well!

Your forgot the mandatory second HQ man. Just drop out the servitors and take a double Daemonblade guy or something.

My sides have entered orbit. Well played sir teehee.gif

Alright, now lets be honest, Henchmen are kinda easy mode. Hard mode is create a terrible Knight list with no Henchmen.

HQ:

Stern

(200 points)

Crowe

(150 points)

Troops:

(4) Justicar, 4 x Knights

(100 points each)

Heavy Support:

(5) Justicar w/master-crafted warding stave, 4 x Knights w/psilencers, 7 x Knights w/falchions

(350 points each)

Total: 2,500 points

Run the Strikes up with no support so they can be killed early. Once they are dead I have no scoring (Stern isn't a GM so unlike Mordrak, you avoid that buff). After that, there are 50 Marines with only S4 shooting to kill. I fear the falchions make them somewhat good in melee (urgh), but it is the most expensive nemesis upgrade.

HQ: Stern (200)

Troop: Strike x5, 4 x Falchions, Psybolt (160) - Falchion not on Justicar (No Incinerator due to overwatch)

Troop: Strike x5, 4 x Falchions, Psybolt (160) - Falchion not on Justicar (No Incinerator due to overwatch)

Elite: Techmarine, Conversion Beamer, Orbital Strike Relay (160)

Elite: Techmarine, Conversion Beamer, Orbital Strike Relay (160)

Elite: Techmarine, Conversion Beamer, Orbital Strike Relay (160)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Heavy: Purgator x10, 9 x Falchion, 4 x Psilencer, Psybolt, Teleport Homer (255)

Heavy: Purgator x10, 9 x Falchion, 4 x Psilencer, Psybolt, Teleport Homer (255)

Heavy: Purgator x10, 9 x Falchion, 4 x Psilencer, Psybolt, Teleport Homer (255)

Total: 2,875

Drop whatever you want to get to 2,500. msn-wink.gif

Run, GTG the Techmarines (all three seperate, as is Stern). Actually Run/GTG everyone.

Most expensive 2A Marines *ever*! tongue.png

Edit: Easy, drop 10 Interceptors, and a Teleport Homer. 2,500 on the nose!

Hell, if you're allowing running, GTG every turn, just take max Monkeys. (Add a servitor for the Lulz)

HQ: Wizard of Space and Time (tongue.png)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor, P Cannon (405)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Troop: 11 x Jokers, 1 x Servitor (395)

Total: 2,500

Run, GTG, don't shoot, die to Mindlock and CC. msn-wink.gif

Less bodies than your list above, and worse in CC! WS1/S2 FTW! tongue.png

This has the added bonus of nulifying your Marvelous Customisation Joker Ability as well!

Honestly, I laughed out loud when reading this.

Honestly, I laughed out loud when reading this.

biggrin.png

My job here is done. msn-wink.gif

Edit: Those Purgator Costs above are bogus, plus I'd take out the Psilencers becuase of Overwatch. Back to;

HQ: Stern (200)

Troop: Strike x5, 4 x Falchions, (140) - Falchion not on Justicar (No Incinerator due to overwatch)

Troop: Strike x5, 4 x Falchions, (140) - Falchion not on Justicar (No Incinerator due to overwatch)

Elite: Techmarine, Conversion Beamer, Orbital Strike Relay (160)

Elite: Techmarine, Conversion Beamer, Orbital Strike Relay (160)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Fast: Interceptor x10, 9 x Falchion, Psybolt (370)

Heavy: Purgator x10, 9 x Falchion, Teleport Homer (295)

Heavy: Purgator x10, 9 x Falchion, Teleport Homer (295)

Total: 2,500

10 Troops, 63 Marines in total.

Tactics: Run Stern and the Inquisitors solo. Shunt the Interceptors first turn into Rapid Fire Range of the most deadly shooting your enemy has.

Run everyone. Never charge, unless it's an enemy deathstar designed to eat Marines in CC.

Die in droves. ;)

The reason I went Purgator spam in my build was to leverage the price of psilencers. Every two you take is another Knight body not on the field. Running means all that S4 never gets used anyway. 

 

My problem with Interceptor spam is it is accidentally good. Throwing that many fast Marines downrange with 2 AP3 attacks each is kinda scary for many lists. They'll die, and trade badly (and thankfully no Grandmaster to make them scoring), but still...I know many xenos lists have issues with that many shunting Knights. 

 

All the same, I'm liking the creativity. I think we should try our hand at awful Allies now. 

Lets begin with Spiritual Liege primary, allied Knights;

 

HQ:

 

Stern

(200 points)

 

Crowe

(150 points)

 

(2) Chapter Master w/two storm shields, artificer armour, digital weapons, hellfire rounds, grenade launcher

(205 points each)

 

Troops:

 

(2) Justicar, 4 x Knights

(100 points each)

 

(7) Scout Sergeant w/two combi-flamers, meltabombs, teleport homer, Scout w/heavy bolter, 8 x Scouts w/shotguns, camo-cloaks

(220 points each)

 

Total: 2,500 points

 

Walk into melee with the shotgun Scouts, hipfiring the whole way in. Land the Strikes off the teleport homers in close support. Stern, Crowe and Chapter Master walk onto the board from Reserve and Run at enemy lines. 

 

edit: forgot I needed another Chapter Master

I like to call this one "Rolling Thunder"

 

 

Coteaz

 

3x Bolter Acolytes w/ PsyBack

 

3x Bolter Acolytes w/ PsyBack

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Stormraven w/ ML, LC

 

Stormraven w/ ML, LC

 

 

1500pts, 14 models, 7 tanks (2 of which are flyers)

 

It really doesn't where you put Coteaz or the two Hench-squads, as they are just passengers along for the ride.

 

 

SJ

HQ: Logan Grimnar (275)

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

Troop: Wolfguard x10, Storm Shield x10, Storm Shield x10, Jump Pack x10 (930)

Troop: Wolfguard x9, Storm Shield x9, Storm Shield x9, Jump Pack x9 (837)

HQ: Coteaz (100)

Troop: Warrior Accolyte x3, Storm Shield x3, Storm Shield x3 (132)

Troop: Warrior Accolyte x3, Storm Shield x3, Storm Shield x3 (132)

Total: 2,506

So, 6 points over, but top that! tongue.png

Keep the RP with Coteaz, so Coteaz can't use any powers. Usual, Run, no shooting etc.

3++ Saves for almost everyone, 19 Marines, 6 Henchmen, 3 Characters. And only a handful of weapons among them!

Edit: Jump Packs again to get you into Rapid Fire range quicker.

Logan can be quite deadly, if you can set up Jaws of the World Wolf to hit Logan. But that's risky.

Also, the RP has 'Thunderclap' and you cast it on the henchmen.

Hmmm, this gets me thinking on a Coteaz main list, full of henchmen, and two Rune Priests as allied HQs.

Surround the RPs with the henchmen, and blow them *all* up!

HQ: Coteaz (100)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x11, Eviscerator x11 (330)

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

Troop: Blood Claw x5 (75)

Total: 2,505

Drop the 5 from somewhere.

Surround the two RP by the Banishers. Use Thunderclap to kill them all (50% chance to cause a wound, no save due to AP5).

BOOM!

 

Coteaz

 

3x Bolter Acolytes w/ PsyBack

 

3x Bolter Acolytes w/ PsyBack

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Land Raider (either GodHammer or Crusader) w/ MM, Psybolts

 

Stormraven w/ ML, LC

 

Stormraven w/ ML, LC

 

thisguy.jpeg

 

I love that list man. Tri-Raider...feels like we're back in the hellish days of 4th edition/early 5th. There is a slight danger of having good scoring in 'Big Guns', but that's a cornercase. Just make sure you never move slow enough to fire two weapons. 

 

 

HQ: Logan Grimnar (275)

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

HQ: Coteaz (100)

 

Troop: Wolfguard x10, Storm Shield x10, Storm Shield x10, Jump Pack x10 (930)

Troop: Wolfguard x9, Storm Shield x9, Storm Shield x9, Jump Pack x9 (837)

Troop: Warrior Accolyte x3, Storm Shield x3, Storm Shield x3 (132)

Troop: Warrior Accolyte x3, Storm Shield x3, Storm Shield x3 (132)

 

If you go heavier with servitors in the Henchmen squads, you can cut down on the number of Wolf Guard you have to field. Still hilariously bad wargear selection, excellent work. 

 

 

HQ: Coteaz (100)

 

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x12, Eviscerator x12 (360)

Troop: Banisher x11, Eviscerator x11 (330)

 

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

HQ: Rune Priest (100)

 

Troop: Blood Claw x5 (75)

 

Don't you need another Blood Claw pack to make that list legal? I thought you can only have one HQ per Allied detachment. I'd also add a servitor to each warband, Mindlock is pretty handy to prevent them doing much in your turn. That much S6 powerfist might kill stuff

 

SW allow 2 HQ units per 1 HQ slot in an FoC.

Ah, forgot about that wallhack they have. Wolves. the rules never apply...

 

 

How could I miss the mindlocks! lol

 

I was stunned by the sheer stuipidy of near 100 point troop minis!  Dual SS with Jump Packs FTW!

 

It's easy to forget, just how bad one Servitor makes the whole unit ;) . 

 

I have to admit, I found it hard to breathe when I read the Wolf Guard entries (laughing so hard). It's a damn shame only 3 Warriors in warbands can double storm shield, otherwise we could fail just has hard. 

HQ:

Coteaz 100

Xenos inquisitor, plasma pistolx2, power armour, Ulumeathi plasma syphon 68

 

Troops:

Henchmen, 3 servitors with plasma cannons, 3 warriors with plasma pistol 117

x6

 

Allies:

Chapter Master with 2 plasma pistols 155

Scout Squad (2 plasma pistols on the serg) 105

Vanguard Veterans, +2 vets, all with 2 plasma pistols 375

 

1495 points

 

There is one plan, stick all the units in one massive blob within 12 inches of the inquisitor (except Coteaz). Make sure he doesn't die. Lose

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