InquisitorLordPaul Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 History The Blood Dragons were founded during M37 after a horde of Daemonic forces launched a incursion upon the silicus sector. When the Blood Angels responded they found a Warrior brotherhood known as the Blood Dragons which were a order of Knights who swore to protect the planet and its inhabitants from the forces of evil. While they worshipped the Emperor they also believed in the man who had founded their order for it is said in legend that he went up against the skulltaker and lived. When the Daemons began their invasion they hadnt counted on the Blood Dragons putting up a fight against them. As the Daemons began to appear to win the Blood Dragons allowed the Drake priests to join the battle unleashing all sorts of shamonic powers against the Daemons the combined forces of the Blood Dragons and the Priests pushing the Daemons back. When the Blood Angels arrived on the world at first they thought the Daemonic forces had wiped all inhabitants out until they were found by the Order of the Blood Dragon. When taken to the orders fortress they was told everything and it was explain to them that the reason the Daemons hadnt launched a second attack on them was because the priests had managed to tap into the power of a way stone and was using it to keep the Daemons back while it also weakened them. Agreeing that the Daemonic Horde must be destroyed before they find a way around the way stone the Order of the Blood Dragon combined their forces with the Blood Angels who were led by Epistolary Angelous. As the entire order of the Blood Dragon prepared for war the grandmaster of the order Dazarik Drakeslayer put on the armour and drew the blade of the very first blood dragon After armouring himself up Dazarik led his forces combined with those of the blood angels to where the Daemons had been pushed back to, as one both forcves charging forwards slaying daemons left and right/ It is said that during this time the Blood Dragons fell into a holy fury taking down a large portion of the Daemonic horde by themselves. Dazarik issued a challenge at the Daemon who was leading the host a Blood Thirster who called himself Skarand the Flayer of Skulls. Taking up his ancestors sword Dazarik charged at the blood thirster luckily dodging a lash of the Greater daemon of khornes whip he slashed at the Daemon with the holy greatsword. The power within the sword doubling his strength cut deep into the blood thirsters leg causing Dazarik to be thrown into the air with the sword in his hand. As he recovered from the impact of hitting the floor the Daemon smashed into Dazarik with his axe bu the venerable suit of armour protected him from the worst of the blow however it shattered 4 of Dazariks ribs. Sensing that the fight was drawing to a close the Greater Daemon charged forward ready to slay the mortal who had stood in his way. Summoning all his anger hate and rage and all the pain he felt he flung his ancestors sword straight at the blood thirster. Seeing the sword approching him the blood thirster laughed believing it had missed him, however it wqas to come back round and slice straight thorugh his neck. As the blood thirster had been banished the Daemons vanished withnothing to tie themto the material realm anymore. Unfourtunately after this great feat Dazarik died for he had used the last of any strength his body had to slay the thirster. While the Inquisitor wanted to execute or mind wipe the Order of the Blood Dragon the blood angels persuaded them not to for they could be a powerful force to have on side. As such ti was decided that from all the members who were 15 or younger a space mnarine chapter would be created. Its main purpose would be to guard this sector of the galaxy. They would be successors of the Blood Angels and for the next 400 years the galaxy would hear nothing from them. They would be led by Dazariks son Nicholas and they would make sure every enemy of the imperium paid dearly for trying to destroy humanity. This is all I have got so far so any comments are welcome :) this is the first time ive tried to write a proper background behind a chapter so please keep that in mind Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
XKhalilX Posted May 20, 2013 Share Posted May 20, 2013 id stay away from idea a human warrior single handedly takes out a greater demon. it just doesnt sound plausible. and blood dragons sounds too much like a hodge podge pf BA and salamanders. plus ive seen at least 5-7 blood dragons on 40k sites. ultimately if ur happy with the name though, thats what counts. perhaps u can have them be a specialty chapter and fight demons. since there BA i get a "D&D Ravenloft" "ven helsing/castlevania" feel. maybe the homeworld can have that dark gothic horroland like those i just mentioned and have specialty squads of 1st company be specialists in hubting demons. chaplains would play important role. thats just an idea i felt upon initial reading. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3376074 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ace Debonair Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 Welcome to the Liber! I'll do my best to help you out with your chapter's backstory in the time-honoured Liber way of pointing out the bits that don't fit too well with established lore and stuff. If I come across as harsh or nit-picky, my apologies in advance, I'm super-rusty at the C&C game. History The Blood Dragons were founded during M37 after a horde of Daemonic forces launched a incursion upon the silicus sector. When the Blood Angels responded they found a Warrior brotherhood known as the Blood Dragons which were a order of Knights who swore to protect the planet and its inhabitants from the forces of evil. Ah, this one caught me out too back in the day. Chapters are generally created by the High Lords of Terra in one of the 26 official foundings, rather than by the actual Chapters themselves. It's actually not that much of a problem, since you can just pick a number you like between two and twenty-six depending on how old you want your Chapter to be, and say they were formed at that founding. While they worshipped the Emperor they also believed in the man who had founded their order for it is said in legend that he went up against the skulltaker and lived. When the Daemons began their invasion they hadnt counted on the Blood Dragons putting up a fight against them. As the Daemons began to appear to win the Blood Dragons allowed the Drake priests to join the battle unleashing all sorts of shamonic powers against the Daemons the combined forces of the Blood Dragons and the Priests pushing the Daemons back. See, here's the problem. Everything after the first sentence of what you've written is not about your space marines. It's about an order of knights on a daemon-tainted world. The whole block of text you've got could actually be reduced to : "During the [NUMBER] founding, the Chapter that would take the name Blood Dragons was formed to ward against forces of Chaos that threatened the Silicus Sector. They took [WORLD NAME] as their homeworld, which was also home to an order of knights who had, according to local legends, once fought against daemons." And then you can move on to the Chapter, rather than the Order. After armouring himself up Dazarik led his forces combined with those of the blood angels to where the Daemons had been pushed back to, as one both forcves charging forwards slaying daemons left and right/ It is said that during this time the Blood Dragons fell into a holy fury taking down a large portion of the Daemonic horde by themselves. Dazarik issued a challenge at the Daemon who was leading the host a Blood Thirster who called himself Skarand the Flayer of Skulls. Taking up his ancestors sword Dazarik charged at the blood thirster luckily dodging a lash of the Greater daemon of khornes whip he slashed at the Daemon with the holy greatsword. The power within the sword doubling his strength cut deep into the blood thirsters leg causing Dazarik to be thrown into the air with the sword in his hand. As he recovered from the impact of hitting the floor the Daemon smashed into Dazarik with his axe bu the venerable suit of armour protected him from the worst of the blow however it shattered 4 of Dazariks ribs. Sensing that the fight was drawing to a close the Greater Daemon charged forward ready to slay the mortal who had stood in his way. Summoning all his anger hate and rage and all the pain he felt he flung his ancestors sword straight at the blood thirster. Seeing the sword approching him the blood thirster laughed believing it had missed him, however it wqas to come back round and slice straight thorugh his neck. As the blood thirster had been banished the Daemons vanished withnothing to tie themto the material realm anymore. Unfourtunately after this great feat Dazarik died for he had used the last of any strength his body had to slay the thirster. A general word of advice for writing Chapter Histories. Battles (especially really detailed ones) in and of themselves aren't interesting. What is interesting is the effect those battles have on the chapter. In this case, it's that Dazarik kills the big daemon chief thing in heroic fashion, but dies of his wounds afterwards. In fact, I don't even know how important this would be to your Chapter, although I could see it being a popular tale on your Chapter's homeworld. This is all I have got so far so any comments are welcome this is the first time ive tried to write a proper background behind a chapter so please keep that in mind It's not a bad start, but you've kind of written about the wrong thing, really. This isn't a scathing condemnation or anything, Emperor knows I've been guilty of the same thing more than once! Moving on to the Chapter itself and how recruiting from knightly orders shapes the Chapter in a different way from the typical Blood Angels will be the interesting part, I reckon. Again, my apologies if anything I've said seems harsh or unfair. If you don't approve of something I've said, feel free to ignore it at will. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3377534 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenfeld Posted May 22, 2013 Share Posted May 22, 2013 I don't have a lot of time at the moment, but I just wanted to point out that the "Blood Dragons" is a name that is used a lot. Not only that but it actually has its feet firmly planted in GW's product lines. Blood Dragons are a faction of Vampires within the Vampire Counts in Warhammer Fantasy. Whats more, they're also themed around Knights! So in that regard I feel you should maybe try attacking the name from an alternative angle. I also think that mortal warriors would have a heck of a time taking out a greater daemon. Its like a lone guardsmen taking out one, or heck even a hero of the imperial guard, it just isn't likely. And lets remember, in fantasy there is magic items! Haha! Its a great first attempt though, start fleshing ideas out and listen to the advice of the folks around here, they just wanna see you succeed! Welcome! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3377930 Share on other sites More sharing options...
fivepointedstar Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Like XKhalilX stated, I'd tone down the plain ol' human taking on a greater Daemon. As most GW lore states the mere sight of such a beast would drive a normal human to complete mental meltdown. It's total fine for them to inhabit a planet with daemonic beast roaming wild ( i.e Caliban pre Dark Angels) , and perhaps the constant attacking of said beasts mentally prepares them for daemonic combat. Ace helped break the down the story for you. I'd use that to formulate the rest of you're IA information. @ Ravenfeld, the chapter name is fine, and no one can claim ownership over one chapter name. And the Blood Dragon chapter name is so catchy!. :P For a rough draft, and fairly short IA, it's good. And it has a lot of potential to get better. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3378612 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ravenfeld Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 @ Ravenfeld, the chapter name is fine, and no one can claim ownership over one chapter name. And the Blood Dragon chapter name is so catchy!. Fair enough, I personally like to try and be unique with my works and I suppose I apply that to other people unfairly. So I apologize for that, if you really love the name Blood Dragons and that's what you want to use all the power to you. However, if you want to brain storm some alternatives I would be more than happy to help you out! Even Sanguine Dragons or Crimson Dragons is a step away from the more common name whilst still maintaining the over-arching theme, I am sure we could come up with something your happy with, if you should choose to take up my offer ;) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3378626 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Octavulg Posted May 23, 2013 Share Posted May 23, 2013 Ravenfeld It should always be brought up - I've seen plenty of people switch the name of their chapter because it bugged them that someone else on another continent used it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3378675 Share on other sites More sharing options...
XKhalilX Posted May 24, 2013 Share Posted May 24, 2013 blood, sanguine, crimson, red, scarlet dragons, serpents, gargoyles, wings, vipers, cobras, snakes, (just naming mythical beasts and animals) Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/275759-blood-dragons-blood-angels-successor-chapter/#findComment-3379001 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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