Double Crescents Chapter

[Geronimo]

Chapter Name: Double Crescents

Founding Chapter: Unknown

Founding: Unknown

Chapter Master: Geronimo

Known Descendants: Buffalo Raiders, Eagle Warriors, Ghosts of the Mist, Urban Guerillas, Scythes of the underworld, Tomahawk Warriors, Dark War Band, Band of Blood Brothers, Sons of Geronimo.

Homeworld: Iroquois

Original Homeworld: Unknown

Fortress Monastery: Monastery of the Great Spirit

Colors: Desert Yellow as the Base, Brown on left shoulder pads and shin guard.

Specialty: Guerilla Tactics, Hit and run, Tank Strikes, Anti-Trooping and Sniping. Occasional Deep strike Tactics Infiltration.

Battle strength: Inquisitors assume that the chapter is just under 1,000 strong but the reality is that the Double Crescents is 10,000 strong and the branched off chapters are actually fronts to an actual legion sized force.

Battle cry: We live, we die free.

Background: The Double Crescents and Descending Chapters all have a hatred of all things Imperial & Chaos related, they will tolerate Xenos species as long as they don't hamper their efforts or get in their way. The Chapter won't stoop so low as piracy but will act as if the haven't went renegade and try to acquire any new techs from the empire. They will even keep up a front and help Imperial forces and a tribute of their Geneseed back to Mars to keep that front up.


Organization & Combat Doctrine: There are 8 Companies of troops 1 armoured Task force Company and 1 Air Company Task force, this is also how the other nine Chapters are organized though there are variances to the setup most troops will never put their hands on an energy weapon due to risk of over heating they will occasionally bring predators storm talons and storm ravens in equipped with energy weapons but very rarely the amazing part of this chapter is their non-reliance on LandRaiders. In the many battles that have been witnessed by imperial forces no LandRaiders have ever been utilized by the Double Crescents or their affiliated Chapters. It was planned that they would all move to the farthest eastern reaches of the Galaxy via Warp travel to settle the worlds farthest from the Empires and it's enemies Influence to build future Chapter sized forces until they grew strong enough to take out the Imperium. to accomplish this strategy though they would also transport civilians loyal to their cause to their ten newly founded colonies including Iroquois to turn them into Hive worlds for resource & Weapons production. They will have done this over time though.


Beliefs: The Double Crescents and affiliated Chapters want the downfall of the Imperium of man and the destruction of Chaos. They believe that the empire is corrupted and need to be taken out, they believe the high lords of Terra have too much power.



Tell me how you guys think of this and give me any feedback at how I could make this a little bit better.

updated version without expunged legion affiliation and different beliefs about the empire and my guy not trying to be a Primarch.
not trying to make any problems and hope this is a bit better than my first attempt on it. Oh yeah they are trying to make some legion forces to take on the empire but are trying to make it so the Chapters look legit so they are not found out by the Inquisition.

[TDF]

OK, so they're from one of the unknown Legions and have a strength of 10,000... You're going to have a hard time getting this accepted by the Liber.

 

 

Here's a few questions:

 

Why do they hate the Imperium? How do they cover this up to stop them being exterminated for heresy?

 

How has Geronimo managed to dub himself a Primarch without being executed by the Inquisition?

 

Why no Land Raiders?

 

What's wrong with having them just as a normal Chapter with Native American influences and an affinity for unconventional warfare?

 

 

The most important thing to remember when writing an IA is that you're trying to create something that will fit into the shared universe everyone else lives in. That generally means staying away from the Unknown Legions and ridiculously large Chapters. The Guide to DIYing and the Octaguide might help.

[Demus Ragnok]

The Space Wolves never destroyed any legions. Ever.

 

Aside from that. The greatest danger we face in building DIY chapters is being different just to be different. Most often the results of "different" chapters are just that, different but very much lacking in character. The whole idea behind a DIY is to have something with your very own "character".

[Donkey Kong]

You're biting off way more than you can chew, especially if this is your first attempt at one of these projects.

 

Having a living primarch for ten thousand years isn't a small issue, regardless of whether you want the current Geronimo to be a liar carrying the name as a title or the actual primarch.

 

The chapter master claims to be a primarch, they have their legion falsely split into chapters, they're empire building, first half of their battle cry is death to the emperor, and they're still able to pass themselves off as loyalists. None of this adds up.

 

Your battle strength just apes the Dark Angels.

 

I went searching a little, but I wasn't able to find any definitive significance of the crescent moon to any Native American tribes, so that symbolism is lost on me. After that, the Native American influence isn't being used particularly well. The home world and fortress monastery names are aped, as is the character name Geronimo. Their specialty list sounds like it was taken out of a classic cowboys and indians movie with deep striking tacked on.

 

The Land Raider bit I don't get. Moving East means that you're picking a fight with Ultramar and any other Chapters that may be in the area. In M37 you're going to be picking a fight with the Tau. This is just amplified if you're also empire building.

 

Honestly, I don't think you know what you're doing. Just sit down and just try and list out what you want to do. Start small: Here is my Chapter that I want to have Native American influences, Etc. Etc.

 

My advice, don't tackle a missing legion on your first try.

 

Lastly, it's Imperium, not Empire.

[Ace Debonair]

Very unorthodox and out-of-the-box idea, credit where credit's due.

TDF's right on the money with his suggestion, it might well be a good idea to do a little reading up on the DIY guide and the Octaguide before developing this Chapter further.

Although I'd stress the point that fitting in with the commonly perceived 40k universe is only important if that's your goal. If you're still happy working on a lost legion, then by all means work away.

[Geronimo]

I Try to scale it down some and keep the expunged lost legions out of it.

[Geronimo]

The Space Wolves never destroyed any legions. Ever.

 

Aside from that. The greatest danger we face in building DIY chapters is being different just to be different. Most often the results of "different" chapters are just that, different but very much lacking in character. The whole idea behind a DIY is to have something with your very own "char

 

OK, so they're from one of the unknown Legions and have a strength of 10,000... You're going to have a hard time getting this accepted by the Liber.

 

 

Here's a few questions:

 

Why do they hate the Imperium? How do they cover this up to stop them being exterminated for heresy?

 

How has Geronimo managed to dub himself a Primarch without being executed by the Inquisition?

 

Why no Land Raiders?

 

What's wrong with having them just as a normal Chapter with Native American influences and an affinity for unconventional warfare?

 

 

The most important thing to remember when writing an IA is that you're trying to create something that will fit into the shared universe everyone else lives in. That generally means staying away from the Unknown Legions and ridiculously large Chapters. The Guide to DIYing and the Octaguide might help.

Landraiders have never been favorites of mine always did well with predator destructors even killed Landraiders with em though theres lots of focus firing going on when that happens.

[Geronimo]

You're biting off way more than you can chew, especially if this is your first attempt at one of these projects.

 

Having a living primarch for ten thousand years isn't a small issue, regardless of whether you want the current Geronimo to be a liar carrying the name as a title or the actual primarch.

 

The chapter master claims to be a primarch, they have their legion falsely split into chapters, they're empire building, first half of their battle cry is death to the emperor, and they're still able to pass themselves off as loyalists. None of this adds up.

 

Your battle strength just apes the Dark Angels.

 

I went searching a little, but I wasn't able to find any definitive significance of the crescent moon to any Native American tribes, so that symbolism is lost on me. After that, the Native American influence isn't being used particularly well. The home world and fortress monastery names are aped, as is the character name Geronimo. Their specialty list sounds like it was taken out of a classic cowboys and indians movie with deep striking tacked on.

 

The Land Raider bit I don't get. Moving East means that you're picking a fight with Ultramar and any other Chapters that may be in the area. In M37 you're going to be picking a fight with the Tau. This is just amplified if you're also empire building.

 

Honestly, I don't think you know what you're doing. Just sit down and just try and list out what you want to do. Start small: Here is my Chapter that I want to have Native American influences, Etc. Etc.

 

My advice, don't tackle a missing legion on your first try.

 

Lastly, it's Imperium, not Empire.

Nah further out than that where there are usually less stars still get stars but they are far and in between whose to say the Imperium or Tau tried going out that far not sure if there's anyone in the 40k version of the Greater Magellanic cloud. not sure what side of the galaxy that is though.

[Messor]

What was clear was what the Chapter has, but not who they are. Why have they chosen to defy the Codex and expand? Why do they hate the Imperium, or what do they think the can change about it? How do they instill these beliefs in so many chapters well enough to keep them organized? These some of the most important questions to answer, far more than how many marines the can command and what their combat organization is like.

 

Other big unanswered questions: With a legion of marines, why aren't they curbstomping everything in sight? The Imperium would take ages to muster a defense against something like that. Also important, what's this about settling? Space Marines are soldiers, born and bred in the most literal sense of the term. Why would they want to settle? What do they expect to gain? The only reason I could think of for settling would be if ALL these chapters recruit only from their serfs, and so they want to establish a centralized "empire" where they can defend/expand this recruiting pool.

 

Like KHK said, another of the best things you can do for the character of this force is to develop/add to the Native American theme. It's not done often, so it has a lot of potential.