Word Bearers Successor chapter

[ChaoSam]

Okay so I'm planning a new army based on a loyalist word bearers chapter (for any who didn't know the word bearers had chapters prior to the horus heresy) and I've written some fluff for your discerning eyes. I'd love some feedback and also some suggestions about what units to use/ban to make this list seem possible.

 

Marines Contrite: May our acts light the future and redeem the past.

 

After the events on Monarchia, the Word Bearers Legion had been left humbled and shamed; their Primarch foremost amongst them. But where Lorgar and the vast majority of his Legion had finally accepted the Emperor’s truth, there was one chapter amongst their ranks who remained loyal to their fanatical doctrine. For the brothers of the sacred tome this was viewed as a test of devotion and piety. They felt that the legion had grown lax of late, and that there was need for atonement.

 

Chaplain Elendin proclaimed that the Ultramarines were clearly in favour with their god emperor, and that through accompanying the sons of Guilleman they might be able to better understand the divine will of the emperor and their purpose within his great scheme. Thus the sacred tome chapter of word bearers left their parent legion and beloved primarch and travelled with the expeditionary fleets of the Ultramarines.

 

The Ultramarines found a new respect in these Word Bearers, and were impressed with their desire to learn and emulate aspects of the XIII legion. However, within the confines of their own ships they continued to pray to the emperor and stayed true to their ideals. This was reflected in their recruitment of new neophytes at an alarming rate from recovered planets using exclusively the gene seed of Lorgar and so ensuring the purity of their genetic heritage. This went on for over 40 years, and the Ancient tome chapter swelled in size, becoming diverse. The Ultramarines who first looked upon these word bearers with distrust learned to respect and create ties of genuine affection with their brothers despite their vast cultural differences. This culminated in their Chaplin even being invited to counsel with Guilleman himself.

 

Thus when the great warmaster ordered the ultramarines to join with the Word Bearers to put down a growing WAAAGH in the Eastern Fringe, Elendin and his chapter rejoiced at the chance to show both their parent and foster legions the righteous fury of the purest disciples of the holy emperor. From their orbiting ships Elendin and his men saw with horror what had become of their brothers during the separation. Tears of rage were shed and litanies of hatred were spoken as Elendin turned away from his once beloved primarch and moved his fleet to help the sorely outnumbered Ultramarines.

 

Through hit and run boarding actions the ancient tome managed to cause heavy casualties early on, sowing confusion within the ranks of the word bearer’s much larger fleet, but were soon forced to seek refuge on Calth as their heavily outnumbered armada began to fall apart. Thus when First Chaplain Erebus cast the ruinstorm the ancient tome fought their brothers with a burning hatred and righteous fervour that saw the ultramarines gain the upper hand in many battles. When the fires of battle had finally died out the Chaplain was gravely wounded and there were but 370 ancient tome battle brothers left alive. Seeking to protect their spiritual leader the ancient tome left Calth to lick their wounds and played no further part in the horus heresy.

 

After these events the ancient tome regrouped in the Ultramar system and awaited their fate. Elendin (now interred within the sarcophagi of a dreadnought) eventually met with Roboute Guilleman himself who recognised that the ancient tome were no traitors and had played a pivotal role upon Calth. He offered the remaining ancient tome to be assimilated into a new chapter for their loyalty and devotion with Elendin as their chapter master and provided him with gene seed from his own legion to remake the ancient tome. Elendin did so gladly, however, in secret he instead used the collected genetic material from the dead of calth, and in doing so created a new chapter dedicated to atoning for the sins of the Word Bearers as true loyalist word bearers in spirit. Elendin renamed the chapter the marines contrite and had his brothers change their armour to blue (to represent their connection with the ultramarines) and white (to show that they were pure as the armour they wore).

[NightrawenII]

Okay so I'm planning a new army based on a loyalist word bearers chapter (for any who didn't know the word bearers had chapters prior to the horus heresy) and I've written some fluff for your discerning eyes. I'd love some feedback and also some suggestions about what units to use/ban to make this list seem possible.

(*snip*)

... This culminated in their Chaplin even being invited to counsel with Guilleman himself.

Well, Chaplin is already dead in 30th millenium.

Joking aside, I don't think you have chosen the best of approaches. The rule of thumb of DIY is to fill the gaps (fill not exploit, two different things) in the lore and the way I see it you are not filling the gap(s) but hammering your fanfiction into oficial lore and such method, in my case, totally breaks Suspension of Disbelief.

That being said, if you want Chapter who seeks absolution from the sins of past... play Dark Angels.

Cheers, NightrawenII

[Ace Debonair]

Welcome to the B&C, and more importantly welcome to the Liber!

Now, I've got to say, that's a very unorthodox approach you've taken there, and it's going to take a lot of development to make it work.

My first suggestion, as to everyone new to the Liber, is to go and have a good read of the DIY guide stickied in the DIY resources thread. My second suggestion is to have a read of the Octaguide if you can find it amongst these hallowed pages.

Now, on to the C&C part. Bear in mind that nothing I'm saying is intended as hurtful or a personal attack in any way. My mission right now is to get the best out of your Chapter.

We here in the Liber prefer to do so by highlighting anything that needs adapting or changing, skipping over the parts that are OK.

I have to warn you, though, there's a few issues with the story you propose. As I can see it, mostly the problem comes from this idea as a whole not fitting into any of the histories of 40k, and there's some rather... unusual decisions that you have made, too. So, in order:

Firstly is that thanks to Black Library there's some pretty comprehensive accounts of what happened at Calth. I'm sure if Big Rob had met with some still-loyal Word Bearers and not just assumed they were now a ticking-traitorous-time-bomb, it would have been mentioned, because it's kind of a big deal.

Second, I don't for one second believe that even if the Ultramarines liked your guys enough to absorb them into their legion that they'd get their own spin-off chapter after the Heresy. There's no way of guaranteeing the apple doesn't fall far enough from the tree, and Lorgar is hardly a model daddy for a loyalist.

Thirdly, the Word Bearers were fanatically devoted to their Primarch, in part because he was a charismatic leader of men and possibly in part because of genetics peculiar to the Word Bearers. Having a bunch of them suddenly decide to worship Gulliman (Spiritual Liege jokes go here, guys, now's your chance) and hare off without Lorgar or any of their brothers stopping them is hugely unlikely.

Fourthly, if the Word Bearers somehow mistook your guys as being on their side, how come the Ultramarines didn't just shoot the excrement out of your lads, given that the Word Bearers are now their enemies?

Again, don't think of this as a personal attack or me just being spiteful or any of that nonsense. I'm just trying to help you identify what needs changing or expanding.

After all, if I don't ask the tricky questions, someone else will!

EDIT:

Typos. Grrrr.