medusa warriors/swooping eagles chaos space marine chapters

[Grand Master Aldric]

hello although i do not play chaos i need someone for my custom chapter the blood hounds (these guys > http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/topic/277797-blood-hounds/#entry3408652) to kill maim drape on banners slaughter destroy etc.  so any ideas comments etc. would be great.   Medusa warriors

founding:22^nd
successors of: dark angels tactics: used to be codex symbol: a
green snake with mouth specific chaos god: slaneesh history: just
after their the time of their founding the Medusa warriors were
regarded as one of the best green skin killers in the galaxy. said
to only be out match by the crimson fist in the ability to destroy
waaaghs. but when the were called upon in the ninth black crusade
the entire chapter flew into the eye were't heard from again on till
m39 when the raided an forge world stole three war hound class
titans. the adeptus terra thinking them wiped out expediently
declared them traitors. They have been envolved in the 10^th 12^th and 13^th black crusades. 
  http://i1316.photobucket.com/albums/t620/SAKAGE1/medusaworroirs_zps6ddac50e.jpg                                                                                             

Swooping eagles                                      

founding:24^th
successors of: white scars tactics: all jump pack marines symbol:
a white eagle seen from the side. History: regarded as one of the
most honourable chapters around they are one of the only known 24^th
founding chapters. After their new chapter master took over however
they became more secretive and less in touch with rest of the empire
. Then during the battle of acarias 5 they and blood hounds 5^th
company were holding the feral world from alpha legion forces then
without warning most of the swooping eagles turned on the blood
hounds. the loyalist of the eagles assumed that the blood hounds had
gone traitor and attacked. After awhile blood hound and the
loyalist swooping eagles found out the truth but by then alpha legion
and the traitor eagles had fled.

Status of the swooping
hawks loyalist: the number were to few so they have returned to their parent chapter on till the can rebuild their once proud chapter. http://i1316.photobucket.com/albums/t620/SAKAGE1/swoopingeagels_zps33eacd79.jpg

[Grand Master Aldric]

 Why is no one commenting?

[Malthe]

You might want to work on your formatting.
Right now these two articles are barely readable and does nothing to entice the reader in any way.

 

Also your paragraphs tells us very little about these two chapters, except a tiny bit of their history.

 

Finally, I don't think you need to spend your time making enemies for your 'propper' chapter.

Unless you plan to somehow include these tidbits in your other article, no one will no they exists anyway.

[Grand Master Aldric]

You might want to work on your formatting.

Right now these two articles are barely readable and does nothing to entice the reader in any way.

 

Also your paragraphs tells us very little about these two chapters, except a tiny bit of their history.

 

Finally, I don't think you need to spend your time making enemies for your 'propper' chapter.

Unless you plan to somehow include these tidbits in your other article, no one will no they exists anyway.

Well, in fact the swooping eagles are included in the blood hounds history and i am still working on adding the Medusa warriors in.

[Prefect Apollyon]

Few will comment if they can't read it.

 

Paragraphs will sort that out, then flesh it out.