Kol Saresk Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 You know how some women are into shoe shopping or how some guys are into making this huge fancy schmancy racing car, even though the shoes will probably get worn once and the car will never get truly raced? Well these are my shoes and this is my car. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494329 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostMalone Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 its not simply a case of a councillor its just being able to justify it to her in her own language. up to a point she supports it but the constant annoyance that she shows with it is understandable. it takes away from her and me time which up to now has been plentiful I need to find a way to bring her into the fold ;) one of the ship one of the crew Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494330 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kagarre Havariss Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 its not simply a case of a councillor its just being able to justify it to her in her own language. up to a point she supports it but the constant annoyance that she shows with it is understandable. it takes away from her and me time which up to now has been plentiful I need to find a way to bring her into the fold ;) one of the ship one of the crew No offence to your Mrs but I don't think her annoyance is understandable at all. If, as you say, you only buy when everything else is paid up and you socialise and give her time too then I honestly can't see her problem at all. You work hard and you deserve to be able to relax and unwind in the manner of your own choosing. My GF accuses me of a "Warhammer obsession" but like you I pay my bills, socialise and devote time to her. I too have tried to explain the world of modelling and table top gaming to the uninitiated and some people just refuse to understand or accept my enjoyment of it. As others have said, even if people don't understand something if they are your friends or people who care about you they should be pleased that you get pleasure out of it. I'll state a broad example of a good friend of mine who has suddenly and completely found god. I mean all of a sudden a switch is flipped and he goes from everyday bloke to the bible is a historically accurate written account that is 100% true un disputable and wants to become a minister. As an agnostic myself I find this rather difficult to deal with, not to mention that a friend of many years has completely changed his personality. Do I understand what happened to cause this change? No. Do I wish my friend hadn't found god in such a big way? Yes because my old mate is gone. However I am glad that he is happy and seems to have found a purpose and I wouldn't try to change his mind so I accept it. Loads of people have hobbies, I personally think that painting " toy soldiers" is far better than sitting on your backside in front of the TV every evening, its certainly better than a drinking hobby. I think you should tell your Mrs what I tell mine: I know you don't get it but I do! I know you don't like it, but I do! I don't complain about you sitting and watching 2 hours of god awful soap operas and b grade reality tv a night ( insert your own alternative here) so cut me some slack with my hobby please! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494361 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyall Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Not that you ever need to explain anything to anyone out of your innermost circle, but I know the feeling. For some reason it seems like we have to start with or emphasize the serious undertones of the 40K setting when explaining it to someone else. And they are indeed part of what makes us love the hobby, it's just that they tend to ring false when we bring them to the fore. It's no less mature than liking football - it's actually more, usually, since it leads to many less irrational, apeish moments. Ultimately, though, it's science fiction coupled with miniature painting, there's little chance it'll ever reach the levels of 'tolerance' Star Wars gets with the mainstream public. And there're always those who'll feel perfectly comfortable to ask about your personal preferences as if narrow minds and short horizons were the new black. Don't let it get to you. And, personally, I wouldn't answer any question about the hobby which involved (or suggested) the word 'waste'. Regarding your Missus: this is my personal experience and I wouldn't presume to fit it into your situation, so please take it as such. If your juggling of life's various facets (hobby included) is healthy, don't change it out of you better half's request. Improvements here and there are fine. Major changes 'a la carte' will bring little but an endless cycle of trying to fulfill the other's expectations and failing. In a relationship, if it's not really (REALLY) broken, fix it not. Some of us are 'programmed' to try and make the other one perfect and then feeling frustrated because the person should've had a strong enough personality to weather our remarks while being himself. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494463 Share on other sites More sharing options...
badgermeister Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 i managed to get my missus to acknowledge my interests by taking her to the heresy weekender and gave her money for spa treatments and i booked us an executive suite. she may still mock me holding up models going 'pew pew' but she is really keen that we go to next years event :) I got her into the whole downhill mountain biking scene and opened her eyes to a lot of things including new foods and travel but wargaming just hasnt sunk in. For my birthday she got me 2 x voss lightnings and 2 DKOK infantry squads so i believe she's taken onboard what i want her to know now. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494479 Share on other sites More sharing options...
facmanpob Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 up to a point she supports it but the constant annoyance that she shows with it is understandable. it takes away from her and me time which up to now has been plentiful Ah, the age old issue..... "You don't spend enough time with me. All you do is sit in that little room and mess around with your stupid toy soldiers." "Yeah, but I work hard all day and this helps me to relax and unwind. I also find it enjoyable and it gives me a sense of achievement." "You should find sitting with me enjoyable." "But all you are doing is watching crap on the tele..." "That's not the point!" I've heard this basic issue so many times with friends, and have been through it myself (although with me it was computer games a few years ago). Solutions? One of my mates has a paint station and sits next to his wife on the sofa - she watches TV and comments on the painting, he does his hobby. Me, I paint when my wife is at work in the evenings, and at weekends I put the paintbrush down and read a book on the sofa whilst Downton Abbey is on! Its all about finding a happy medium, without taking something to extremes. Maybe she is concerned that all you talk about or do revolves around the hobby. Maybe she is right, maybe not. When I was taken to task about my computer gaming, I initially denied that I spent "all my time on the computer", but eventually sat down and recorded just how much time I was spending on the PC in a week, and had to admit that the missus was right. So I amended my game-life balance to the benefit of my relationship. As to explaining the hobby or game milieu to other people..... if they like sci-fi or military history you stand a chance or them understanding... if not, then I wouldn't even bother! ...oh, and badgermeister is right about spa treatments... they really do offset any amount of plastic/resin crack! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494539 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Augustus Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Say things like Kol said or: "Shut up, who asked you your opinions on the things I do with MY money." "It's my money, Ill do what I want." Or any variation. I now solemnly pledge to empathize with you while your in the dog house for what is surely to be a very long time. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494551 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Leonaides Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 WW1 and WW2 were both fought out on tabletops first... If it was chess, they'd be impressed at your intellect... Show them some of the top-notch painted models (not necessarily your own or even GW models - CMON have plenty of examples)... Computer games equivalent (CoD/etc)... Dont start with the background setting, its something that doesnt necessarily come across so well (and can get peoples backs up before they actually think about it properly)... Failing that, yes you can always point out that its not as bad as illicit chemicals and booze. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494559 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brother Captain Sirus Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 This might help Other than that and all that has been mentioned, sometimes people are a lost cause who cant understand much past their own narrow minded views. Its a shame but as a race humanity really aren't that clever. I get classed as odd by people i know because i never go on facebook unless its to find out why i cant get on to B&C. At the end of the day dont fret over the people wo are stuck in there ways and only worry about looking cool/mature, at the end of the day staying young is a mind set and we like being this way. I'll be worried the day i start feeling old and until then i will meet up with like minded others and try to destroy their toys with dice and imaginery bullets :-D but thats just me Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494577 Share on other sites More sharing options...
facmanpob Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I get classed as odd by people i know because i never go on facebook unless its to find out why i cant get on to B&C. The best man at my wedding doesn't even own a mobile phone....... 2 PC's and a PS3, but no mobile phone..... Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494624 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyall Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Heh, the more of my group's conversation at the bar table are interrupted or stalled by people checking their facebooks, the more I understand your best man. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494643 Share on other sites More sharing options...
depthcharge12 Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Could never understood what possessed people to go on facebook every 5 mins. This coming from the guy whose generation is obsessed with it. All I see when I go on there are girls putting slutty pics of themselves on there and being very self obsessive (so much that it makes Fulgrim look humble). Then the next day the same girls say, "OMG why does everybody think I'm a slut?!!!" well duh...not only are you vain, but you are ignorant too. Then we get stupid people trying to put up how they feel today. I mean really? I don't give a flying f. Facebook to me just personifies the idiocy and indulgence of the American culture of which I'm part of. Then those people have the audacity to tell me that I play with toys. Yet these people cant hold a job for more than a month and dont have the dedication to devote mental energy to do this hobby. Good riddance to good rubbage I say. Life is so much more complicated then work, self obssesion, and parties on the weekend. There are deeper meanings and the 30k verse helps us to explore it in constructive ways. If I say false then hand me my cup of hemlock to that I may be vindicated. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494692 Share on other sites More sharing options...
facmanpob Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Facebook..... All I can say is that Twitter is worse! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494729 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GrandMagnus Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I usually just say to people: I like it, its artistic and the story is great, you should read it. (and depending on their reaction I leave it there or continue on the subject). Also, if it werent for this hobby Im pretty sure I would go insane At least in the hobby I feel comfortable. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494742 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of the Raven Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Sounds like a possessive hypocrite to me. My advice would be to not bother trying to explain anything to her, since it appears she'd disapprove of any hobby that takes you away from her for any amount of time. As for starting with the lore to explain the universe... Somehow I don't think 'mash the red khmers, the mongols, the nazis, the imperial japanese and the soviets together and you've got the good guys' is a good start. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494834 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyall Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Whoa there...it's Jasp's wife we're talking about, Knight, slow down. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494840 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Hyaenidae Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I explained it to my wife when she asked; basically just said "Hey, I could be wasting it on booze and strip joints. Which do you prefer? I'm doing something constructive, at least." Different one, "It calms me down. I focus so hard on painting that I have no room in my head for a bad day." It was easier for her to accept, because my father in law is a sci-fi nerd too. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494849 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vazzy Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 I explained it to my wife when she asked; basically just said "Hey, I could be wasting it on booze and strip joints. Which do you prefer? I'm doing something constructive, at least." Different one, "It calms me down. I focus so hard on painting that I have no room in my head for a bad day." It was easier for her to accept, because my father in law is a sci-fi nerd too. This is how I justify it to my family, especially being a college student. That get 'em usually. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494859 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyall Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 It's a bit different for me, the hobby shows more through my drawings since I only buy codices and novels, so those reactions ring close to heart. I was aware of a 'Hey, he's a geek, what are you going to do' vibe, and it hurt a bit since drawing is my hobby of choice, but the women in my life always respected it enough that I never had to explain anything. Not that they'd be persuaded in any way,if I tried. To be honest, knowing that they respect my hobbies is enough, I like being the geeketh one. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494863 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Knight of the Raven Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Whoa there...it's Jasp's wife we're talking about, Knight, slow down. Frequenting possesive and hypocritical people may have colored my understanding, but that's what I deduced from her description. Regardless of the veracity of said description, some people can be narrow-minded. My solution is to just smile and nod, though I don't guarantee it'll work on Mrs. Jaspcat. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494883 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Greyall Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 It was just a matter of stating it like that. I don't know Jasp's missus, so I wouldn't know if you're right or not, but it's a bit harsh to outright say it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494897 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kol Saresk Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 As for starting with the lore to explain the universe... Somehow I don't think 'mash the red khmers, the mongols, the nazis, the imperial japanese and the soviets together and you've got the good guys' is a good start.Actually, if you're like me, where you just want to see the good guy lose spectacularly and not in the "Superman got beaten up by Doomsday but is still alive, because hope" fashion, a universe where the good guys don't sound too good and the bad guys are usually worse(or ironically, better in some situations), sounds fantastic. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494903 Share on other sites More sharing options...
GhostMalone Posted October 14, 2013 Author Share Posted October 14, 2013 It's going to be a slow process with her. I think with her Christmas present ill have to get her something amazing and the hardcover version of Horus rising and see if I can get her in to it slowly. I guess after 5 years jumping in the deep end of the hobby explains why she feels the way she does. Eventually she will come around, I guess when she's in a good mood I drop some 30k knowledge on her slowly Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494964 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zynk Kaladin Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Disregard females... acquire plastic. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3494984 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Wade Garrett Posted October 14, 2013 Share Posted October 14, 2013 Disregard females... acquire plastic.Dark Apostle Krulak never interrupts me when I want to recite the Litany of How Crappy My Day Was Today to him AND he makes my Cultist mobs fight harder on the tabletop. How can a woman compete with that? Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/281865-how-to-explain-the-horus-heresy-and-hobby/page/2/#findComment-3495025 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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