Venerable Brother Pelinore Posted March 11, 2014 Share Posted March 11, 2014 Well met brothers! The following excerpt is the beginnings of my first IA, the Steel Wardens, using Octavulg's guide... to well, not using Octavulg's guide . That has been a precious resource in this first attempt at creation and I thank him for taking the time to write it. It still needs some work to fully flesh out the idea before I begin a full IA, but I wanted to submit the beginnings now in the hope that any observant or knowledgeable brothers may find faults or over-done cliches in my work before I get attached to them. The Steel Wardens: Born of a planet constantly striving towards the physical perfection of humanity, the Steel Wardens carry this genetic crusade into the stars for all humanity with fire and blade. Their home-world Vardyn is a feudal planet permanently locked in state of war. The population embrace a strong martial culture of honor, purity and sacrifice, believing that to be amoung the victorious dead is the greatest honour and the purest of deaths. The Steel Wardens recruit exclusively from the warrior population of Vardyn, culling their very best and brightest each generation during an event known as the 'Great Tournament'. Rumours speak of dark deeds performed by the Chapter in their endless quest. Men whisper in huddles of days gone by where entire Imperial forces have been exterminated by behemoths clad in steel, judged as 'lesser' men and as a danger to Mankinds ascendency. Whether there is any truth to these rumours is unknown outside of the brotherhood of the Steel Wardens. 'For we are the pinnacle of humanity, drawn forth from the very best Mankind can achieve and made -more-, chosen of the Emperor Himself.' - Chaplain Anorn, addressing Scout Squad Groen M36.561 Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/287942-index-astartes-steel-wardens/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Messor Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Good start, brother. Glad you've taken advantage of the Octaguide. Quite a coherent entry; the only input I might offer is that the sentences regarding the populace are still vague and somewhat cliche. I only shook the feeling by picturing a populace that really wants nothing more than to extinguish itself in war. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/287942-index-astartes-steel-wardens/#findComment-3618456 Share on other sites More sharing options...
KhorneFlakes Posted March 12, 2014 Share Posted March 12, 2014 Awesome, its hard to come up with a good name and all your names are very good! The whole theme is great and I can't wait to here more! Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/287942-index-astartes-steel-wardens/#findComment-3618577 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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