IA: Sable Hawks.

[Ekim_Trub]

Greetings brothers, once again I find myself in need of help from the collected wisdom of the Liber to elevate what is essentially a group of ideas to a completed Index Astartes, as I seem to going round in a seemingly never ending circle without making any real progression.

Since I first envisioned my own Chapter, (who would be my "evolution" of the Raven Guard) they have underwent 2 name changes in order to not copy names already in use, they have also underwent several colour scheme changes as well as some of slight changes, however the one thing I have yet to be able to establish with them is a sense of character.

So, I now appeal to those who are my superiors in the regards of IA creation for help, advice and critique.
Thanks in advance, Trub.

​Why was the Chapter founded: As a Crusade Force, tasked with retaking worlds lost to the Imperium and helping defend the south-west of Segmentum Tempestus.
When was the Chapter founded: M.32/Third Founding.
Progenitor: The Raven Guard. (Possibly taken from the Revilers Chapter?)
Gene-seed Purity: A New Generation; although fiercely independent, the Chapter still maintains close relationships with their Primogenitor.
Chapter Demeanour: The Chapter has moved away from the heavy use of stealth and guerilla tactics their Progenitors are famous for, and instead favour the use of fast assaults and manoeuvre warfare. However, they still maintain the patience and tactical insight of their Primarch.
Gene-seed Deficiency: The Sable Hawks gene-seed bears all the same problems associated with that of the Raven Guard, however the mutation to their Melanchromic Organ has become more advanced with the skin and hair change only taking months to occur instead of years.
Chapter Flaws: We Stand Alone; The Sable Hawks are a very independent Chapter and rarely work alongside any other Organisation, although they seem to have developed a working relationship with the Explorator Fleets of the Adeptus Mechanicus and are frequently found performing escort duties for them.
Who are the Chapter's Heroes: The first Chapter Master, Cmdr. Abner Habrok.
Deed of Legend: He led the Chapter in the liberation of the Fenjal System from the the forces of Chaos, and then from glory to glory before dying in single combat against a Daemon Prince of Khorne.
What type of planet is the Chapter's Home World: N/a. The Sable Hawks are fleet-based, and are known to possess the Battle Barge, Rex Stellarum, and the Strike Cruiser, Bellator Lux.

How closely does the Chapter follow the Codex: They are a slightly divergent Chapter, with each of the Battle Companies permanently maintaining their own Veteran and Scout squads, allowing them to operate independently for longer.
Combat Doctrine: The Chapter favours manoeuvrability warfare and the use of air assault tactics, launching lightning assaults with gunship-borne infantry squads who bear down on the enemy and unleash a torrent of mid-range fire before re-deploying to attack the next target.
Special Equipment: Traditional weapons; They tend to favour boltgun based weaponry.
Chapter Beliefs: Revere the Primarch; As with most older Chapters, the Sable Hawks do not view the Emperor as a God, and instead have placed their hearts and faith in the memory of the Primarch. (The Sable Hawks are also know to live in the belief that Corax will someday return to once again lead is sons in battle against the enemies of the Imperium.)
What is the current status of the Chapter: Endangered; Currently less than 300 Marines after an arduous campaign to destroy Waaagh! Skullstompa.
Friends of the Chapter: The Adeptus Mechanicus. (Specifically the Magii Explorators.)
Enemies of the Chapter: The Chapter now reserve a particular hatred for the Orks, and utterly despise those Astartes who have forsaken their vows to the Emperor.

The Chapter are inspired by the RG motto of "attack, withdraw & attack again" and the re-organisation of the Legion post-Istvaan V, specifically the Hawks vehicle Company. I also look to capture the RG's tactical & strategic insight, their intuition & adaptiveness, as well as their sense of duty and loyalty to the Imperium.

I also would like to draw upon the Hawk as a bird for some more inspiration, as they are renowned for their ability to combine both an element of stealth with great speed to capture their prey- something I envision the Chapter doing through the use of Reflex Shield Technology and their gunships. Also, the bird is also known to represent vision & memory as a spirit animal, so I would like to tie this in with the great knowledge of the past the RG have, and have the Sable Hawks also remembering the Legion's (and the Imperium's) history- and thus have them aware of ancient dangers that may resurface in the hands of Chaos.

[Olis]

​Why was the Chapter founded: As a Crusade Force, tasked with retaking worlds lost to the Imperium and helping defend the south-west of Segmentum Tempestus.

When was the Chapter founded: M.32/Third Founding.

Progenitor: The Raven Guard. (Possibly taken from the Revilers Chapter?)

 

So we are talking of a Post-Scouring fleet based chapter in a region of the galaxy that didn't see a large amount of conflict in the Heresy. In fact, it's an area that's (if the maps I looked at were accurate enough) pretty close, if not within, the Veiled Region. My advice, to avoid this small but important detail (and presuming this is still their rough catchment area), is to make the location of the a little further coreward, closer to Terra but still firmly within Tempestus. Although the idea to have them operate there is not without merit, it does throw up a lot of extra work in dealing with xenos and the scarcity of human worlds there.

 

 

Gene-seed Deficiency: The Sable Hawks gene-seed bears all the same problems associated with that of the Raven Guard, however the mutation to their Melanchromic Organ has become more advanced with the skin and hair change only taking months to occur instead of years.

 

Now then, as a narrative device, I must ask why this particular mutation exists. How did it come to be? Is there any preference as to having marines looking very much akin to one another? Could a different mutation have served to enhance the character of this chapter better?

 

 

Chapter Flaws: We Stand Alone; The Sable Hawks are a very independent Chapter and rarely work alongside any other Organisation, although they seem to have developed a working relationship with the Explorator Fleets of the Adeptus Mechanicus and are frequently found performing escort duties for them. 

 

What exactly has drawn this chapter to the Mechanicus Explorator Fleets and not Rogue Traders? Sure, I get that they are quite independent but if you are going to have exceptions, then they must be kept consistent. Being 'very independent' but having an exception kinda negates the 'very independent' part. The way that I see the chapter, given what information I have, is that they will accompany expeditions (but perhaps not a larger entity like a crusade force due to their independent/isolationist streak) - it follows that any moderate expedition could be subject to escort, rather than just involving the Mechanicus. That is, unless the Mechanicus enjoy special favour with the chapter (and I do mean special). If this is the case then this relationship must be delved into further. 

 

 

Who are the Chapter's Heroes: The first Chapter Master, Cmdr. Abner Habrok.

 

Forgive me but... Abner? It doesn't really fit the bill, imho. How about trying to mutate the word into something more... Imperial? 'Abnus' maybe? Feel free to say that my opinion sucks and you're keeping the name - I just think it's not quite right. ^_^

 

 

Deed of Legend: He led the Chapter in the liberation of the Fenjal System from the the forces of Chaos, and then from glory to glory before dying in single combat against a Daemon Prince of Khorne.

 

The Fenjal System's liberation must have been one helluva shin-dig for it to still be regarded well many thousands of years later. Any chance of some elucidation? Perhaps this might be fit for a sidebar, though, rather than the main body of text.

 

 

What type of planet is the Chapter's Home World: N/a. The Sable Hawks are fleet-based, and are known to possess the Battle Barge, Rex Stellarum, and the Strike Cruiser, Bellator Lux.

 

Unless these vessels are really old (relics, even) or unique in some manner, then there's not really much need to mention them.

 

 

Combat Doctrine: The Chapter favours manoeuvrability warfare and the use of air assault tactics, launching lightning assaults with gunship-borne infantry squads who bear down on the enemy and unleash a torrent of mid-range fire before re-deploying to attack the next target.

 

This sounds quite cool, actually. Thunderhawks and Storm Eagles making landings and disgorging troops and vehicles while Stormtalons fly escort... 

 

 

What is the current status of the Chapter: Endangered; Currently less than 300 Marines after an arduous campaign to destroy Waaagh! Skullstompa.

 

I can dig this. It's not terribly often you see an IA on a chapter that has had the tar beaten out of it recently. :)

 

 

Not bad, as initial ideas go. I think the theming of the chapter sits about right - you haven't overdone it at all. Barring tweaks here and there I think moving on to fleshing out the chapter will be the next logical step. 

[Conn Eremon]

Because I'm lazy and like to hitch rides on the backs of others to success, I'm just going to quote Olisredan.

​Why was the Chapter founded: As a Crusade Force, tasked with retaking worlds lost to the Imperium and helping defend the south-west of Segmentum Tempestus.

When was the Chapter founded: M.32/Third Founding.

Progenitor: The Raven Guard. (Possibly taken from the Revilers Chapter?)

So we are talking of a Post-Scouring fleet based chapter in a region of the galaxy that didn't see a large amount of conflict in the Heresy. In fact, it's an area that's (if the maps I looked at were accurate enough) pretty close, if not within, the Veiled Region. My advice, to avoid this small but important detail (and presuming this is still their rough catchment area), is to make the location of the a little further coreward, closer to Terra but still firmly within Tempestus. Although the idea to have them operate there is not without merit, it does throw up a lot of extra work in dealing with xenos and the scarcity of human worlds there.

Personally, I say keep it as is. Hate to sound unnecessarily contrary, but I don't agree with Olisredan's assessment here.

Gene-seed Deficiency: The Sable Hawks gene-seed bears all the same problems associated with that of the Raven Guard, however the mutation to their Melanchromic Organ has become more advanced with the skin and hair change only taking months to occur instead of years.

Now then, as a narrative device, I must ask why this particular mutation exists. How did it come to be? Is there any preference as to having marines looking very much akin to one another? Could a different mutation have served to enhance the character of this chapter better?

I agree that you should seek a different mutation. Though the one you listed is certainly valid as a mutation, it really provides little for you beyond making people think it's strange.

Chapter Flaws: We Stand Alone; The Sable Hawks are a very independent Chapter and rarely work alongside any other Organisation, although they seem to have developed a working relationship with the Explorator Fleets of the Adeptus Mechanicus and are frequently found performing escort duties for them.

What exactly has drawn this chapter to the Mechanicus Explorator Fleets and not Rogue Traders? Sure, I get that they are quite independent but if you are going to have exceptions, then they must be kept consistent. Being 'very independent' but having an exception kinda negates the 'very independent' part. The way that I see the chapter, given what information I have, is that they will accompany expeditions (but perhaps not a larger entity like a crusade force due to their independent/isolationist streak) - it follows that any moderate expedition could be subject to escort, rather than just involving the Mechanicus. That is, unless the Mechanicus enjoy special favour with the chapter (and I do mean special). If this is the case then this relationship must be delved into further.

I would agree that this kind of takes away from their independent stance and outlook. I can see, perhaps, that the Mechanicus simply see a lot of travel through their region that the Chapter keeps a close eye on and even accompanies, but always as an aloof observer or independent partner rather than a subordinated part of the fleets.

Deed of Legend: He led the Chapter in the liberation of the Fenjal System from the the forces of Chaos, and then from glory to glory before dying in single combat against a Daemon Prince of Khorne.

The Fenjal System's liberation must have been one helluva shin-dig for it to still be regarded well many thousands of years later. Any chance of some elucidation? Perhaps this might be fit for a sidebar, though, rather than the main body of text.

>

What type of planet is the Chapter's Home World: N/a. The Sable Hawks are fleet-based, and are known to possess the Battle Barge, Rex Stellarum, and the Strike Cruiser, Bellator Lux.

Unless these vessels are really old (relics, even) or unique in some manner, then there's not really much need to mention them.

Going by the order and the name of each category, it looks to me like trub is using FFG's Rites of Battle supplement to get some of his Chapter's basics down, and what we are seeing are his thoughts on these rolled characteristics. I agree that the end IA need not mention the ships unless they are special in some way, just explaining why I think these two things were included at this part of the process.

What is the current status of the Chapter: Endangered; Currently less than 300 Marines after an arduous campaign to destroy Waaagh! Skullstompa.

I can dig this. It's not terribly often you see an IA on a chapter that has had the tar beaten out of it recently.

Hey!

*ahem* I mean, yeah, apparently not. It would certainly be something you should incorporate into your final IA.

I also would like to draw upon the Hawk as a bird for some more inspiration, as they are renowned for their ability to combine both an element of stealth with great speed to capture their prey- something I envision the Chapter doing through the use of Reflex Shield Technology and their gunships. Also, the bird is also known to represent vision & memory as a spirit animal, so I would like to tie this in with the great knowledge of the past the RG have, and have the Sable Hawks also remembering the Legion's (and the Imperium's) history- and thus have them aware of ancient dangers that may resurface in the hands of Chaos.

Though this is perhaps one of the more commonly used themes, it is certainly a good one. If you like the idea of incorporating a bird of prey's hunting techniques, I would look at how the Space Sharks/Astra Carcharadons are described as being shark-like. For instance, I can see your Chapter preferring to sort of circle over head, assessing the enemy for weak points and such, before divebombing for those areas with speed and ferocity.

If you're concerned at sounding too 'hawk-like,' then be more generic in the description. The Chapter prefers to use the vantage of higher ground, air or orbit to tactically assess the enemy before striking quickly from these vantage points for attempted quick kills.

[Olis]

 

 

Deed of Legend: He led the Chapter in the liberation of the Fenjal System from the the forces of Chaos, and then from glory to glory before dying in single combat against a Daemon Prince of Khorne.

 

The Fenjal System's liberation must have been one helluva shin-dig for it to still be regarded well many thousands of years later. Any chance of some elucidation? Perhaps this might be fit for a sidebar, though, rather than the main body of text.

 

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What type of planet is the Chapter's Home World: N/a. The Sable Hawks are fleet-based, and are known to possess the Battle Barge, Rex Stellarum, and the Strike Cruiser, Bellator Lu

x.

 

Unless these vessels are really old (relics, even) or unique in some manner, then there's not really much need to mention them.

 

Going by the order and the name of each category, it looks to me like trub is using FFG's Rites of Battle supplement to get some of his Chapter's basics down, and what we are seeing are his thoughts on these rolled characteristics. I agree that the end IA need not mention the ships unless they are special in some way, just explaining why I think these two things were included at this part of the process.

 

Ah, yes, that would make sense. Fair point.

[Whohitjohn]

Intresting start, I'm looking forward the the more fleshed out version. I'll admit the mutation does not seem to be a set apart point from what I've read about the RG. However mutation is an interesting thing and I think if you want the accelerated skin and hair changes to be a hook to a more dangous mutation, maybe an explanation to why they are closer to extinction considering the ties you are given to the Mechanicus following the campaign against the orks.

 

Just my ideas to help out, feel free to tell me to stick them

 

WHJ

[That Guy Matt]

Personally I'm good with the mutation. If you're going to do a Raven Guard successor you can't just do away with a central part of their Gene-seed and adding another entirely seperate mutation may be overkill.  I think making a slight modification to what's there is the way to go. 

[Ekim_Trub]

Thanks for the replies, means a lot to me as I was feeling a bit overwhelmed with it all tbh, and sorry for the delay in replying- I have been non-stop since I posted this.

Olisredan: I was unaware of the lack of activity within that Region, I was working off the idea that the earlier Founded Chapters wouldn't stray too far from their Legion's home world.

The mutation is something I have had in my head since the beginning, it came about from a want to avoid trying to paint flesh and giving my Chapter more of a Corax-like appearance.
I am in complete agreement with you, Abnus Habrok does sound better. Thank you.
The Fenjali Liberation still hasn't been thought out properly to be honest, but it will almost definitely be a sidebar when it is.
Gunship-wise, I envision the Chapter relying upon Storm Eagle (and more recently Stormravens) in preference to Thunderhawks as they are smaller targets and would be assigned to a particular Squad as both their transport and CAS.

Cormac Airt: I did plan on having them act independently from the Explorator Fleets, kind of like a protective shadow, that will intervene when needed.
As for their hawk-like combat style, I see them sneaking into orbit using their Reflex Shields and then striking at speed using their gunships. (Hawks tend to hunt by launching from concealed perches and using speed to catch their prey after a short chase or before they can react.)
 

Whohitjohn: Instead of the Chapter being crippled by a fatal gene-seed mutation, I was planning on devastating them against Waaagh! Skullstompa as they fought the campaign solo. They fought this campaign to prevent Deliverance being besieged from two fronts, as Waaagh! Garaghak is also moving towards their Primogentors home world.
 

[Hrvat]

I like Abner.

Interesting so far.

[Whohitjohn]

Completely agree, I think the idea holds a lot of potential, my thought was that maybe the mutation was also a factor to the slow rebuild :)

[NightrawenII]

Question:

Why are they fleet-based?

 

Don't bother with in-universe explanation I'm asking you, the author, why they not own a homeworld.

 

 

~ NightrawenII

[Ekim_Trub]

I chose to make them fleet-based as I wanted them to be an "attacking/crusading" Chapter, also I liked the idea of not having a static target for their enemies to assault. It also enables the Chapter to utilise their full power/resources if a campaign requires it.

[incinerator950]

Personally, I'd say a silver or white Aquila would serve better than gold. 

[Ekim_Trub]

Tried both, but preferred the gold. It will be a darker gold, but I couldn't show it properly.

 

(Plan is: Balthazar's, Gehenna's with an Aggrax wash.)

[Olis]

Olisredan: I was unaware of the lack of activity within that Region, I was working off the idea that the earlier Founded Chapters wouldn't stray too far from their Legion's home world.

 

Not a bad idea, just something that I'd point out as a possible relevant hiccup.

 

The mutation is something I have had in my head since the beginning, it came about from a want to avoid trying to paint flesh and giving my Chapter more of a Corax-like appearance.

 

Hmm. Here's an idea - instead of giving them a mutation to ward off painting flesh, maybe making them even more isolationist/secretive by having them wear their helmets when in full regalia regardless of who's present might solve that issue. As for a skin pigment mutation... how about giving them a pallid, almost grey complexion? I doubt it'd look very healthy and perhaps it'd be something they'd want to hide. I dunno. Just spitballing. 

 

I am in complete agreement with you, Abnus Habrok does sound better. Thank you.

 

I'm glad you like it. ^_^

 

The Fenjali Liberation still hasn't been thought out properly to be honest, but it will almost definitely be a sidebar when it is.

 

Try not to make it too big, eh?

 

Gunship-wise, I envision the Chapter relying upon Storm Eagle (and more recently Stormravens) in preference to Thunderhawks as they are smaller targets and would be assigned to a particular Squad as both their transport and CAS.

 

That's even better, I think. It adds even more character if the chapter prefers certain equipment over others, although I'd advocate keeping a hold of a handful of Thunderhawks - they do become very handy in hotly contested landing areas. 

[Ekim_Trub]

I think I will move them to the north west of Tempestus, and have the operate along the border to Segmentum Solar.

 

I am also seriously considering ditching the mutation, as it is starting to seem like an unnecessary complication, and all my Marines will be wearing helmets anyways- as it would be stupid for them not to, haha.

 

The Liberation will be covered in as much detail as I have to in order to give the Chapter some history and glory, no more and no less.

 

Thunderhawks are used in a support aspect in my vision for the Chapter, they deploy the second wave of Infantry and/or equipment and supplies. I see TH Tranporters playing more of a part tbh, as they will bring in the armoured support such as Predators and Vindicators.

I have a pretty clear picture in my head how their typical operation is played out, but I am out this morning, so will post it up when I get back.

[Ekim_Trub]

I have always envisioned a typical Sable Hawks assault to be carried out in 3 waves.

Wave 1: Scouts infiltrate the battlefield to perform "eyes on" recon and to perform sabotage or ambushes. They may be used to help coordinate air or artillery strikes if required.

Wave 2: The Chapter uses attack craft such as Fire Raptors and Storm Talons to establish air superiority by eliminating both enemy aircraft and air defences. Simultaneously, gunships such as Storm Eagles (and recently Stormravens) deploy the vanguard Infantry Squads who will carry out the mission as required or if secure the area to establish a LZ for further forces to be deployed safely. The gunships will provide CAS for the Infantry at this time to prevent them being overpowered.

Wave 3: If needed, Thunderhawk Gunships will be used to deliver further Infantry Squads and/or supplies and equipment, while TH Transports will deliver any armoured support needed by the forces on the ground. Although the Chapter prefers to use Land Speeders and Bikes to provide mobile fire support when CAS is unavailable. 

On the ground, I see them as moving quickly to accomplish their mission using their extensive training, squad level tactics and expert marksmanship to minimise casualties and collateral damage.

[Olis]

Sounds good to me. It's almost White Scars-esque in it's mobility. 

[Ekim_Trub]

Yeah, I had thought myself at times, but having seen the way Corax used his forces in Deliverance Lost to assault the Perfect Fortress and again to capture the Forge World of Constanix II in Soulforge, as well as the Legion having the "Hawk" Company which are recon & vehicle specialists, I feel their combat doctrine is still in keeping with their methods (or a natural side evolution of them).

[Olis]

That would make sense. So, with this chapter being third founding (and several thousand years old), how do you intend to portray their age as a chapter? Older kit? A large armoury? Rare weaponry? Master crafted items? Something else?

[Ekim_Trub]

Ideally I would love to field them entirely in mk.IV Armour but I think it would be hard to justify from a fluff aspect, which for me is the most important thing!
I have already made the decision that they only possess Tartaros-pattern TDA, as it looks cool but is also the most mobile of the patterns, so fits their fluff. (They will only have around 20-30 suits.)
I would also like to see them have access to Contemptor Dreadnoughts if the fluff allows, and may try and shoehorn in a Baal Predator copy because I see it being good fire support for their fast moving style of combat.

How would you expect them to be equipped considering their Legacy and age?

[Olis]

 

How would you expect them to be equipped considering their Legacy and age?

 

Well, you're off to a good start, I think, with limited but ancient TDA. As for power armour, you could, theoretically, pull a Red Scorpions and claim they still have manufacturing capabilities but, imho, I think limiting the Maximus PA would be a good idea and instead perhaps having Corvus PA suits for character. Basically, the less Mark VII kit, the better, as it's more 'modern'. Perhaps you could look towards the Consecrators as an example. (I'm not advocating a wiki as a completely reliable source, mind you, just easily providing info.)

 

I would also like to see them have access to Contemptor Dreadnoughts if the fluff allows, and may try and shoehorn in a Baal Predator copy because I see it being good fire support for their fast moving style of combat.

 

Contemptors, eh? Well, a venerable chapter would likely still have a handful imho, but no more than that. As for a Baal Predator, I think that one may be hard to justify without sounding like having your cake and eating it. 

[Ekim_Trub]

Hmmm.....mk.VI galore with Veterans in mk.IV (or FW RG Upgraded armour) would definitely satisfy my need to step slightly away from the mainstream.

So Tartaros and Contemptors are a go, but Baal's may cause an issue. I was thinking about this earlier actually- what is to stop a Chapter copying the Baal's armament layout?? Obviously they won't have the Lucifer engines, but the weapon layout would be ideal for facing down an Ork horde imo.

[Olis]

Hmmm.....mk.VI galore with Veterans in mk.IV (or FW RG Upgraded armour) would definitely satisfy my need to step slightly away from the mainstream.

 

So Tartaros and Contemptors are a go, but Baal's may cause an issue. I was thinking about this earlier actually- what is to stop a Chapter copying the Baal's armament layout?? Obviously they won't have the Lucifer engines, but the weapon layout would be ideal for facing down an Ork horde imo.

 

Perhaps explain it as a battlefield improvisation? The AdMech might not be happy about it but that hasn't stopped modifications from being used after the fact.

[Ekim_Trub]

I'll think more on it. I will try and flesh out the IA tomorrow, see if I can put some meat on the bones so-to-speak.

[NightrawenII]

I chose to make them fleet-based as I wanted them to be an "attacking/crusading" Chapter, also I liked the idea of not having a static target for their enemies to assault. It also enables the Chapter to utilise their full power/resources if a campaign requires it.

In my opinion, the reason why your Chapter(s) lacks character is because they are missing homeworld.

When you're looking around, then the fleet-based Chapters have either strong theme to begin with (= Black Templars) or enough stuff on their hands (= Dark Angels), that additional cultural input is unnecessary.

 

Right now, your Chapter is generic and their combat doctrine is not too much different from what can be found in IA: RavenGuard. So you need some kind of source, the recruitment pool is the most obvious one.

Of course, there is no need to keep the planet. The Sable Hawks are 3rd Founding, you have plenty of time to destroy it, or if you want original twist, make it disappear. It would explain why the SH travel all over the Imperium; looking for their AWOL planet.

 

 

~ NightrawenII