Logan Grimnar - Chuck Norris' great grandson?

[spjaco]

• Logan Grimnar once met Abaddon the despoiler. Ever since Abaddon has looked very pale and seems to have a stick wedged up his arse.
• During the Second war of Armageddon, the Salamanders did not, in fact, hold a bridge. It was Logan, but he did not find it worthy enough to brag about.
• The faces on the armor's of some Chaos Lords are not tortured spirits of the warp. Before seeing Logan Grimnar, they were sinister looking daemons.
• Logan once killed a star with his teeth. It resulted in the creation of the Necrons.
• An eldar did not bow deep enough in Logan's precence. It resulted in the War of Heaven and the Fall of the Eldar.
• Logan once moved faster than a Daemon prince of Slaanesh could react.
• Logan Grimnar once threwn a frag grenade, it killed 50 orks.   Then it blew up.
• The Reason Space Wolves have never been attacked by the Necron's is because Logan Grimnar is not only the real Nightbringer, but he is also the Dawnbringer, the Noonbringer and the Eveningbringer. He is not the Twilightbringer cause lets face it, Twilight sucks.
• For several millenia ago, Logan fought against the then existing God and won. Thats why Chuck Norris is not in Warhammer 40k, he is in fact Logan's Great Grandpa.
• The Reason Logan never fought in the Horus Heresy was cause he was busy slapping Khorne in the warp. When Angron came to help his god Logan back-handed him back into reality, still not taking his eyes off of Khorne.
• When the Imperial Fists teleported aboard the Vengeful Spirit, it was because Logan was using an electronic device during the procedure. No one dared tell him to turn it off.
• Logan Grimnar bested Kaldor Draigo. The latter then retreated to the warp.

 

 

 

This might have been done before, but I think its time to tell the saga of the Great Wolf once more.....

[spjaco]

• Logan does not wear Terminator Armor for its defensive capabilities. He wears it since wearing normal armor would make him to fast for it to be considered a fair fight.
• Logan's axe was never really crafted. It just turned up by its own free will when Logan told it to.
• The Wolf that covers Logan's back is not, infact, a Fenrisian Wolf. It was Khorne's first dog.
• Logan once had a shield. He didn't like it and thus created the blast doors of the Fang.
• Logan's Storm Bolter dosen't shoot bolter shells, it fires insults. When insulted by Logan Grimnar the body takes physical and psychological pain.
• The real reason there is not that much technology was cause, when Logan got his Iphone 67, someone said they had the Iphone 983 (It was Tzeentch) and Logan got mad so he destroyed all normal technology. He still has the Iphone 67.  When thrown it has armor piercing qualities.

 

[spjaco]

• Logan is actually a potent psyker. The reason he does not use a psychic hood is because he aint afraid of the Warp, the Warp is afraid of him.

• Logan can cut admantium with his hand.

Horus has his Death Gaze. Logan has Better/Faster/Meaner-Death Gaze

Logan can call on the Emperor to fight by his side. He does not do it cause he hates family reunion's

In the beginning, there was one huge galaxy. Then Logan came and wanted to see if he could cut it down to size with his hand.

Logan Grimnar is more epic than Cervan Dante. Stating the obvious.

Logan Grimnar has the universal special rule "Eternal Warrior", when you look that up in the Rule Book, it just says "See: Logan Grimnar".

When the Chaos Gods check under their beds, their afraid they'll find Logan Grimnar.

Khârn the Betrayer spends so much time killing his own men, because he knows it's a better strategy than trying to fight Grimnar.

Commisar Yarrick is the one man Ghazgul Thrakka respects, but Logan Grimnar, is the only man he fears.

Logan Grimnar once had heartburn. It was because Lucas the Trickster fed him a multi-melta in his sleep!

Logan Grimnar can find Sly Marbo

Logan Grimnar used Gandalf's staff as a toothpick.

Logan once piloted a starship into the eye of terror without using the Cadian Gate and piloted it back again in one piece, and all this BEFORE he was born.

Wolverine named himself after Logan Grimnar.