Index Astartes: Obsidian Knights

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Well, I've made some corrections and minor alterations - turns out either I don't have as much to at work as I thought or I'm really forgetful.

[Welcheren]

Here are my thoughts following another reading of the IA.

 

The last sentence of the third paragraph strikes me as odd. To me, it seems to imply that Brothers have some degree of choice as to the manner of their deaths. If you meant that they offer the chains of their lives in service to the Emperor, accepting that although they are super-human and capable of great feats, death in conflict is not only inevitable, but quite unpredictable, then everything is fine and I'm just being pedantic (I was just struck by the thought that even a small-scale attack on an Eldar raiding party, that will never enter the annals of war, can result in the death of at least one Brother). As it stands, the sentence emphasises choice in a slightly odd way, but this is probably just me. 

 

 

 

As the Imperial Fists cleansed the Cluster of the xenos presence they fell upon Azar in force; hunting down the last vestige of a slaver fleet as it came for one last raid before heading for a safer berthing. As Astartes met Eldar upon the coast of the Sea of Dreams, the local Azarni tribes took a more proactive hand in their destiny; choosing to finally marshal themselves - even as individual groups - to finally meet their foe in battle with spear and axe and finally restore a measure of dignity and pride.

 

- I am just a little confused as to how the Azarni are able to make any impact on the Eldar at this battle. Do they participate in the main battle, or do they harry the Eldar in small (individual) groups? How do they manage to survive the superior technology and psychic power of the Eldar? This might not be important at all, but its a recurring thought whenever I read this part.

 

 

 

In the aftermath of the battle the warriors of Azar became the preeminent human force upon the world, where once their more civilized ancestors had been painters and poets, but such peace and safety was not to last. When the Sons of Dorn departed to further the expansion of the Imperium it took less than a dozen years for the first seeds of eternal war on the smallest stage to be planted; in less than a century the first in a cycle of blood feuds that would scar the psyche of the world had begun and the first drops in an ocean of blood had been spilt.

- I think this responds effective to some of the other comments raised.

- As a minor suggestion, perhaps: "the warriors of Azar again became the preeminent human force upon the world." Or: "the warriors of Azar resumed their ancestral preeminence upon the world [New sentence] However, while their forebears had been painters and poets in a civilised world".

- The rest makes it quite clear how this conflict has embedded itself on the people's collective culture and provides fertile ground for the beliefs section.  

 

 

In more recent years the cycle of tribal warfare has continued, with Great Houses, tribes and clans alike raiding each other for slights both historical and imagined as martial glory has become the focus of Azarni culture since the action beside the Sea of Dreams. It would seem that there is some kind of racial memory that the Azarni draw on the pushes them to the life of war; some inexorable path towards the song of steel and the sharp and agonizing death that inevitably follows.

- Clearly this is remembered with great pride and has become something of a cultural cornerstone, which further fuels my curiosity over how they actually managed to effect any damage.

 

 

The Obsidian Knights First Company is comprised of those veteran Battle-Brothers who have served the Chapter upon each of the five cardinal worlds of the Cluster and as such the First Company carries the honorific “The Knights of the Cross”. Brothers aspiring to the First Company must have served upon the Cross worlds, regardless of all other achievements and victories, to be eligible for induction though the honour of being a Knight of the Cross is purely symbolic now where once Brothers would have fought and died on those worlds before the coming of Imperial law in the hands of the Obsidian Knights.

- Just a question to advance my own understanding: does this mean that more or less every Brother will, before reaching second or third company, have served in some or other symbolic fashion on these worlds?

 

 

Probably none of these points are very important, but that's all I have for now. To echo others, the IA seems in very good shape. Will do some more reading.

[Harlan Skorus]

You answered most of the points I made very well, so I'll only touch on a few of them further.
 

 

 

Upon Azar war is life, bloodshed the common currency and death the only reprieve. The northern continent has its Great Houses and the southern seas their warring maritime tribes but great and small war is at the core of everything.

 

I know you have touched on the tech-levels later, but I would use this paragraph to elaborate on what Azar was like pre-Eldar just to emphasise how much the invasion changed the world. This would work well with what Welcheren noted in the post above mine.

 

On usage of 'writ': I think I know what you mean now, but I think your usage of the word 'writ' is using an outdated form of it which is why I didn't understand it. "Eternal War written small"? "It took only a few years for the seeds of the same eternal war that grips the rest of the known galaxy to be planted anew on Azar"?

 

Elaboration on the whole Knights of the Cross thing works, but maybe needs a rehash of the punctuation:

 

 

Brothers aspiring to the First Company must have served upon the Cross worlds, regardless of all other achievements and victories, to be eligible for induction; though the honour of being a Knight of the Cross is purely symbolic now, where once Brothers would have fought and died on those worlds before the coming of Imperial law in the hands of the Obsidian Knights.

Suggestions have been bolded (that might not be much help 'cos it's just dots). Might not even be the best way of doing it, but it helps break up the sentence rather than have it as one long stream of thought.

 

And directed at Welcheren as much as Captain Juan:

 

 

Clearly this is remembered with great pride and has become something of a cultural cornerstone, which further fuels my curiosity over how they actually managed to effect any damage.

 

Personally, I read the pride as being more the "we fought" than the "we fought well" variety - they stopped being victims. Psychological thing. I also kind of assumed for the battle that they were completely inneffective, and carried by the Space Marines.

[Welcheren]

 

Personally, I read the pride as being more the "we fought" than the "we fought well" variety - they stopped being victims. Psychological thing. I also kind of assumed for the battle that they were completely inneffective, and carried by the Space Marines.

 

Probably right. I was just wondering how this isn't remembered as a disaster for anyone non-Space Marine who took up arms against the Eldar. Probably, the "individual groups" covers that - they attacked in small, mobile groups at vulnerable bits fleeing before the Space Marines.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Well, the work computer ate all my cool responses so in the end I've just gone on and worked them in to the first post.

 

Hopefully that clears up the current issues!

 

 

- Just a question to advance my own understanding: does this mean that more or less every Brother will, before reaching second or third company, have served in some or other symbolic fashion on these worlds?

 

This wasn't included in me meandering alterings of my previous work, so I'll answer it here:

 

Each of the Cross Worlds would have a Chapter Keep (remember the Fortress-Monastery is on Azar) and at each keep is station a squad of Marines that do the phsyical testing and training of both potential recruits and initiates. The mobile recruiting force would turn up at some point to take away those potential candidates for the genetic side of the recruitment process.

 

Whereas in the depths of history the Chapter fought and died on these worlds and so having a Battle-Brother be a Knight of the Cross was quite common, in these latter years it is far more rare of find a Brother who has served on all four of the Cross Worlds and Azar because of the nature of a Chapter and war.

 

This near sundering of tradition is actually something I wanted to examine in a seperate short story; how the Chapter leadership would cope when one of the central pillars of who the Chapter is crumbled in to nothing.

[Welcheren]

Sounds good and well thought-out. It would make an interesting story.

[Welcheren]

I have only just scanned through the latest piece on the Azarni's contribution to the Battle of the Sea of Dreams and its impact on their culture. Will give it a more thorough reading soon. But it seems as though it deals effectively with the comments.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

So, I've been trying to work on prettying up the IA but I've hit an impasse. I have the Kyton sidebar plus an image of the Chapter Champion but I don't really know what else I can add to make it look a bit more colourful - perhaps a suitable image of a planet to be Azar? Maybe I can somehow mock up a map of Azar and the Cross Worlds (probably not, as it is not my forte!).

 

Note: Google Chrome cannot use "English" as a language and utilise the spellcheck. Where do the morons who made it think American English stems from!?

[Harlan Skorus]

A Chapter Badge (or banner if you're feeling adventurous) might also work.

[Welcheren]

Hear hear on American English.

 

Honestly, though, I must admit that I don't know how you manage to get the IA into the shape it is already in; when I try to box headings and add side bars, the copy-paster function goes berserk and I end up just leaving it as is.

 

But yes, a chapter badge would be great. 

[Captain Juan Juarez]

If you want to alter formatting, do it in something like notepad - B&C has IE issues when it comes to BBCode.

 

Loos like it is time to go fiddle with a Chapter badge then - oddly enough not an option I'd thought of!

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Turns out I can't find a suitable image for the Chapter badge and the really suitable ones I need to pay to use, so screw that with bells on.

 

I have added a bit more colour in the more easily accomplished form of an image of Azar, but I'm thinking I need to alter the header colours to remove a bit more of the black - perhaps a classic red or even purple.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Pretty much just fiddling with aesthetics at the moment:

 

Have added the Emperor's quote about the Space Marines to fill a perceived gap between two headers and would like to add a Chapter badge if I can figure something out.

 

Altered the Marine image from Chapter Champion Myrrin the Headhunter to Sergeant Koreas of the Fourth. This was purely to illustrate that I want belt colour to denote Company colour rather than shoulder trim - a personal eccentricity.

 

Also added am image for Brother Aegir, of First Company, in TDA.

 

Changed the header colours to classic red as, despite preferring the headers to match the dominant colour of the Chapter heraldry, that means there is just too much black in the article.

[Welcheren]

Looks good to my eye. How did you do Azar?

[Captain Juan Juarez]

Azar is courtesy of the time-honoured tradition of stealing things from the internet for personal use! Had a browse and found a word which I felt was the right kind of look for how I described it and ta daaaaa!

 

I've found a suitable image for a Chapter badge and was pondering formatting but I have an idea...

[Captain Juan Juarez]

And so I have cracked it!

 

Unless someone else comes along - this is not an invitation! - and rips it to pieces I am going to consider this finished for now and move on to some associated works to include:

 

A series listing the more famous actions that have involved the Chapter.

 

A dramatis personæ detailing the command-level officers of the Chapter, as well as some of the more notable Battle-Brothers.

 

A few pieces of fiction including one based a round an action called the Battle of the Verder Drift.

[Welcheren]

All the elements mentioned above are plural. Sounds like a great deal of work. Looking forward to reading it; especially the fiction. Personally, I like the idea of fleshing out an IA with fiction. 

[Captain Juan Juarez]

The following is a placeholder to collect all the various extras I intend to tack on to the end of the article, for my own sense of completeness and because it gives me an excuse to write more. Italics will denote works still in progress.

 

Notable Actions and Campaigns of the Obsidian Knights:

 

The Battle of the Verder Drift - Boarding action featuring the Aramachus the Kytonbane during his days as a First Company Sergeant and elements of the Fourth Company under its then-"rookie" Captain. This action is what propelled Aramachus towards his captaincy.

 

The Seige of Callanport - Shockingly, a siege! This will be a mustering of almost the entire Chapter, in fact historically the last time such a muster occurred, and will not show the Chapter in a great light; during Callanport the Chapter lost its way and butchered Guardsmen and civilians in their eagerness to get at the enemy. Possibly some Iron Warriors.

 

The Fall of Fifth - Details the near destruction of the Fifth Company; out of an operational strength of 96 Marines at the beginning of one campaign against the Craftworld Eldar the Fifth Company would be reduced to an active strength of - including wounded - 11 Battle-Brothers. Neither the Captain, Sergeants or accompanying specialists survived. This is also the most recent action.

 

Dramatis Personae - Active Personnel

 

Chapter Master Korrin Raad (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift and the Siege of Callanport)

 

Myrrin the Headhunter, Chapter Champion (featured in the Siege of Callanport)

 

Brother Tael, Third Squad, First Company (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift and Callanport)

 

Captain Aramachus the Kytonbane, Second Company (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift and Callanport)

 

Captain Myorr, Fourth Company (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift)

 

Sergeant Koreas, First Squad, Fourth Company (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift)

 

Captain Tyrron, Fourth Company (featured in The Fall of the Fifth)

 

Commander Rafael, Tenth Company (featured in the Battle of Verder Drift, Callanport and the Fall of the Fifth)

 

Bear in mind these are only those Marines who form the core of either the battle reports or the fiction I intend to write, though I will add more as required or the mood takes me.

[Welcheren]

The Emperor's quote at the start of the article works very well (perhaps that's because it's one of my favourites... but I think nearly everyone here loves it equally).

 

Will comment more on the notable actions and personnel as they take shape, but I would be quite curious to see them fleshed out in fan fiction (time permitting of course). In fact, another option would be to leave these descriptions quite broad, but add links to the fan fiction forum when those are ready.

[Captain Juan Juarez]

 

The Battle of the Verder Drift

In the aftermath of a protracted campaign against the Orks on the mining-colony of Tassar, the Obsidian Knights received dozens of petitions for aid from the myriad organisations of the Imperium.

Master Raad dispatched individual Battle-Brothers and squads as requirements dictated, with the biggest force answering the call of petitions from both the Imperial Navy and the Ecclesiarchy. Under the newly-appointed Captain Myorr fifty-four Battle-Brothers of Fourth Company were dispatched to their aid alongside twenty veterans of the First, operating under the command of the accomplished veteran Sergeant Aramachus.

The Verder Dift is a vast and almost empty – at least in relative terms – area of space that ships are required to traverse where the warp is particularly unstable and makes warp travel a risky proposition at best. Historically, the Drift is also a favoured hunting ground of the Dark Eldar as they joy in preying on pilgrim convoys that traverse the route under the minimal protection that the Navy is able to provide.

In the span of seven months twenty-one convoys had suffered the predation of the Eldar, totalling a loss of some thirty-two ships and around nine thousand souls lost either by death or capture.

The final insult came as a convoy of nine ships with a squadron of Navy Cobra Destroyers for escort was all but lost; one ship was found in the Drift, with no sign it had ever been occupied and only the recorded sound of high-pitched squealing laughter reverberating around the decks.

Brother-Captain Myorr, veteran of some one hundred and thirty years’ service, was considered a solid warrior and an intellectual leader as a Sergeant of the Tenth prior to his elevation. As such, he had a measured and precise way of operating that was somewhat chaffing to Sergeant Aramachus – who by this point in his career had already earned the epithet “the Kytonbane”.

With the strike crusier Obsidian Wrath on station with the Marines of the First and Fourth aboard, Captain Myorr set about gathering intelligence about the Eldar and whether there were any discernible patterns. During this intelligence gathering a further four pilgrim ships, carrying three thousand souls, were lost to the anger of the Ecclesiarchy.

The first plan of action was to use the Wrath as a deterrent but this was an abject failure; the pilgrim ships could not stay in close enough formation to enable the Obsidian Knights strike cruiser to protect them and individual ships were picked off at will. Whilst this had reduced the effectiveness of the raiders it had no eradicated the problem. There followed a series of attempts to close with the slave ships but again this was met with failure as for every ship chased, another one or two would coast in from a different angle of attack and raid another ship.

 

First draft of the first part of the Battle of the Verder Drift. Unsure as to whether it has the right tone and style for a report of the action.