Book of Kor Ladron

[MaliGn]

So, I've come up with the hare brained idea of attempting to write the background for my apostle dread in the form of an epic poem.

 

This is what he looks like.

 

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140722_002.jpg

 

I've made a start and I'd quite like some feedback, I won't say too much about it to try and prevent leading the discussion, but this is only a first draft.

 

Book of Kor Ladron, Canto I, The Son of Colchis.

 

Faithful son of Colchis stood,

Blinded by false prophesy,

This Scion of imperial blood.

 

Shown a path to heresy,

Betrayal, murder, hate,

The brutal truth he can't unsee.

 

Once upon the path of eight,

Choices made and setting out,

The die is cast, sealing his fate.

 

Cannot waver, cannot doubt,

Loyalty to an elder creed,

Forgotten seed now can sprout.

 

Started by the foulest deed,

For ancient truth to live,

His father's world of lies must bleed.

 

Now the glory he must give,

To brothers like in mind,

Not those he knows could not forgive.

 

Soon battle rages, all mankind,

Embroiled in bitter war,

A galaxy of meat to grind.

 

The treason no one foresaw,

Callous acts of fratricide,

True Brothers once, but now no more.

 

Set fraternal bonds aside,

Strike for their father's seat,

All at stake and more beside.

 

Alas possessed of such conceit,

Victory within reach,

Snatch instead and clutch defeat.

 

The truth he saught to teach,

Sundered in but one blow,

By hand of unrelenting leech.

 

A righteous force now brought low,

The scattered remnants flee,

Into the darkness they must go.

 

Plot vengeance with growing glee,

To return in firey zeal,

And release man from idolatry

[Krakasus]

 

<picture>

 

<poem>

 

 

Excellent poem by the way, did you ever look at doing a second draft? I personally enjoy a good bit of poetry, especially when its being cast over the vox of the apostle dread just before it squishes the first legion underfoot.

 

Also your painting skills are nice, can we get a different shots perhaps one for each draft version?

[MaliGn]

Thanks for the kind words and all the likes, I haven't gone back to redraft this yet, but there are more images of the dread in the WIP forum, but since you asked nicely I'll link them here too.

img]http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140719_016-1.jpg[/img][/url]

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140719_013-1.jpg

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140719_011.jpg

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140719_015-1.jpg

http://i201.photobucket.com/albums/aa103/welshmalign/Word%20Bearers/WP_20140719_008.jpg