Jump to content

Chaotic thoughts after reading Talon of Horus: SPOILER ALERT


Prot

Recommended Posts

B... But complaining about stuff is awesome !

Until it is sad, annoying and on a level so pathetic it isn't even pitiful because you complain about the exact same thing everywhere. Then it goes from complaining to trolling and just needs to die in phosphex.

With all apologies and even more respect to AD-B, written the style of the now-classic Dude, Where's My Landspeeder:



+++



"Look at all this awesome stuff I killed!' Abaddon remarked with a wickedly cruel grin as we walked around the hold of the Vengeful Spirit. 'Sure would be cool if you saw me do it. But here it is, in my trophy room!"



"So, ah...' I began, acutely aware of Abaddon's golden eyes studying me. Man, those eyes freaked me out. Have I mentioned how crazy his eyes are? Right. 'When did you learn literally everything about all of us? That seems a little... obsessive. Did you memorize the legion rolls of honor or something?"



Abaddon didn't reply at first. He seem preoccupied with looking for his topknot. It appeared he had misplaced it during his pilgrimage, or perhaps amongst the detritus of his museum to his travels.



"Oh come now Khayon,' he scolded. 'You don't want to hear about all that, do you?"



"Dude,' replied Lheor with a grunt. 'Just acknowledge that you did. I get that you're 'a bad enough dude to save the president,' but don't you think that leaving your audience in constant confusion kind of distracts from that? Like... it seems petty."



"Maaaaaaaaaaaaaybe." Abaddon batted his eyelashes at us like a schoolgirl charming her crush. It reminded me of that one time that Nefertari did this totally amazing thing with her tongue-- [iNQUISITORIAL RECORD CENSORS FUTHER MUSINGS ON THIS TOPIC] ...And so me and the Dark Eldar chick are totally doing it. What? I can't talk about that here? Okay. Fine. Where was I? Oh yes, Abaddon doing the creepy eyelash thing.



"So...' Abaddon asked after the awkward silence had passed. 'What's up with Telemachon? You kinda... mind scrubbed him? Or not? It seems rather unclear."



"It's mysterious, you enormous git,' I pouted. 'Besides, I thought you knew everything."



"I do...' Abaddon mused. 'Except how to stop my new iPhone from bending!"



We all laughed uproariously at this remark. Not that it was all that amusing, you understand. It just seemed like our characters had all given way to his awesomeness. Lheor didn't even protest when Abaddon's seer Sargon totally stuck his young and nubile fingers into his mind and put Abaddon into the World Eater's memories. In fact, Lheor basically stopped mattering past the time when we found the Vengeful Spirit. Poor blighter carries a heavy bolter. How do you contribute in a fight between monsters and demigods with that? Whatever. Sucker never had a chance. Damn shame too. His bluntness might have helped alleviate some of the serious stuff with the Fabius later.



Oh, by the way, did I mention my wolf Gyre died there? Totally died in a super horrific way. I keep forgetting to mourn her though. Eh, I'll get around to it.



Anyway, the whole incident kinda clued me in that we had taken a backstage to the Warmaster. I mean, he wasn’t the Warmaster right then but pretty soon. Like, hopefully before the end of the book. Who knows at this point?



Wow, this story has gone on for a really long time. How many more of these accounts do you need?



[iNTERROGATOR REPLIES WITH SERIES’ LENGTH. KHAYON COMMENCES GROSS SOBBING FOR 4 MINUTES AND 32 SECONDS.]



+++



So contrary to what you might think based on the above, I liked the book a lot. A lot a lot. The third act didn't do as much for me, though. I loved all the character work that got done in the earlier, comparatively quieter parts of the book. But I'm weird in that respect, I acknowledge. Lots of people come to Warhammer 40,000 for planet-quaking action and I won't deny them their pleasures. Me though? Started tearing up in Outro. Sigismund man, he knows the score. I know that fight ends poorly for him but man, I am so ready for some Aragorn-level Return of the King censored.gif in book two. Overall, another fantastic work by AD-B. Go buy it!



Also, I am making that Khayon dating sim. It's gonna happen.



Posted · Hidden by Iron-Daemon Forge, October 10, 2014 - Off topic
Hidden by Iron-Daemon Forge, October 10, 2014 - Off topic

 

B... But complaining about stuff is awesome !

Until it is sad, annoying and on a level so pathetic it isn't even pitiful because you complain about the exact same thing everywhere. Then it goes from complaining to trolling and just needs to die in phosphex.

 

 

Kol, I was being ironic, you know.

 

Archived

This topic is now archived and is closed to further replies.

  • Recently Browsing   0 members

    • No registered users viewing this page.
×
×
  • Create New...

Important Information

By using this site, you agree to our Terms of Use.