DaGrot Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 Introduction Forgive the intrusion your holiness. There is nothing to forgive my son, what news do you bring. The heretics have assaulted the market in large numbers and the colonel requests that you spare some of the chosen to crush this assault. Tell the Colonel he is to pull the heretics down to the warehouse district where they will fall onto our swords. Leave us now; there is work to be done. the lackey executed a fine salute and left through the east door. That was well played Brother. I don’t require your approval, Brother Torth. And I am not your Brother I am your superior and you will address me as such, or I swear by the dark gods I will strip you of rank and send you back to the initiate training camps. Forgive my rudeness, my lord I shall give myself a hundred lashes for my mistake. Make sure you learn the lesson Torth, now then were you able to rig the void shield generator? I sent novice Agarth and Brother Lucius, they should be on the comms shortly with confirmation. I opened my eyes and stepped out from the corner I hid in, the shadows withdrew from me. They stiffened as they sensed there impending doom. Brother Torth scrambled to undo his holster, the plastek clasps snapped and spilled his laspistol to the ground. In a heartbeat I was at his side. “Brother Torth let me show you how it is done correctly.” The sound of my shot echoed around the sanctum reverberating of the walls like a child with his first taste of pure sugar, and the man revered as the voice of the gods stood gaping like a fish, his piss flowing freely on the floor. “st-st-stand back daemon you have no power over me” “Forgive the mess your holiness I seem to be covered in blood. I have a favour to ask of you, and I sincerely hope you do it of your own volition, I would like you to broadcast the orders of surrender to your followers. Oh and the void shield generators are not going to have a ‘accident’ anytime soon” The Houses will not let you get away with this, they will find you I’m afraid that will never happen, I am the People and we are legion. This was the day we stepped into the light and took up our mantle and became the watchers of the hydra system. But before we stepped into the light we travelled through the darkness and this is that tale Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/302446-the-origin/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
dusara217 Posted January 23, 2015 Share Posted January 23, 2015 This looks pretty good. The dialogue is kinda bugging me, though; you need to ad quotations or at least apostrophes around it. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/302446-the-origin/#findComment-3929661 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaGrot Posted January 23, 2015 Author Share Posted January 23, 2015 i cant read things in that format. i have learning difficulties Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/302446-the-origin/#findComment-3930001 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaGrot Posted February 3, 2015 Author Share Posted February 3, 2015 (continued Intro) My first memory, is falling and the laughing shadow that mocked me, ridiculing me but never offering to help, I’ve tried to forget it but it haunts my dreams every night. My brother claims to remember our farther and where we came from. But I never believed him, what father would abandon his sons to such a dark fate. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/302446-the-origin/#findComment-3939077 Share on other sites More sharing options...
DaGrot Posted February 11, 2015 Author Share Posted February 11, 2015 First Fear Exterior 33 degrees, Air, 25% oxygen. Within acceptable parameters. We’d never thought these thoughts yet we knew exactly what they where and how they worked. It scared me to have this knowledge and not know where it came from, this was my first fear but it wasn’t to be my last. As we took stock of our surroundings we noticed that the only light source came from the fires our waking had caused. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/302446-the-origin/#findComment-3947150 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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