Index Astartes: Solar Blades Chapter

[paulJam]

[redacted]

Edited May 29, 2017 by paulJam

[paulJam]

can i take it i went...

a ) too far out there

b ) where to start

c ) you're crazy man

d ) all of the above

e ) vaguely plausible

 

originally i was working on a templar army.

bought dark vengence on a whim and decided i liked the librarian after all.

felt like i needed a story line for including the librarian.

and subsequently had to repaint all my sm to be not-templar.

Edited February 7, 2015 by paulJam

[ThroneWarden]

A.

 

Maybe choose to be an Imperial Fist successor or a successor of another chapter except Black Templars.

 

Could you give more detail on just what this shrine is and how it turns a being psychic?

 

The Novamarines were there and fought with your Templars against the orks. They give you a pass on the "change"(big maybe). The Inquisitor who was present is a radical and  willing to keep the Templars "change" a secret for a big favor. Ok. But a "pure" Black Templar force allowing "tech-shrine changed psychic" Black Templars to quit the field unmolested? With all due respect, that ain't happenin'. Former battle brothers or not. In all liklihood, the "Disavowed" would become the "Hunted" right quick.

 

The other Black Templar force doesn't have to arrive. You could run with just the Novamarines and Inquisitor. Keep the "change". But then the Solar Blades are more reclusive, not wanting to draw prying eyes. You already talk some about having to scavenge for material the chapter needs. Just make it perpetual.

 

The physical change or psychic ability that wasn't previously present in the geneseed but is now being passed on to new recruits is mutation and also likely to bring the Imperial heat down on your chapter. Another reason to keep a low profile.

 

I'm kind of getting a Soul Drinkers vibe from your original premise. In my opinion, it needs some changes. BUT this is your chapter so do as you will and have fun with it.

[paulJam]

Thanks for the feedback ThroneWarden.

 

The original info here is a summary of some extended ( WIP )stuff that covers many fo the points you mentioned.

 

 

 

Could you give more detail on just what this shrine is and how it turns a being psychic?

it's presumed to be ancient 'dark age' era; human not alien.

for the planet's local tribe it turns them into permanent bezerkers, so they treat the site as taboo and avoid it.

 

part of the story that is missed is that when the marines first arrive they are attacked by local humans who don't seem to recognise them as human. in order to fight the invading orks the locals had sacrificed themselves by going to the shrine which sends them crazy/bezerk.  the BT marines are forced to defend themselves against the wild humans as well.

 

the SM go to the shrine but becuase they are genetically altered it doesn't send them bezerk (the assuption being that their training and super-genes puts them beyond that) but gives them this limited psychic 'channel' instead. enough to make then incompatible with BT.

 

it's been destroyed when they return so no further investigation is possible.

 

 

The Novamarines were there and fought with your Templars against the orks. They give you a pass on the "change"(big maybe).

the BT and NM fought together and that bond leads them to support The Changed.

the NM were not surface-side at the time of the Change and were not affected.

i'd also played with the idea that the NM librarians could train the Changed in use of their warp talents.

aiming for an extended alliance with NM.

 

The Inquisitor who was present is a radical and willing to keep the Templars "change" a secret for a big favor.

the people on the planet are primative. the Chapters are responding to a distress signal. upon their return the planet is destroyed. An inquisitor happens to be in a pretty wooly area...

the implication is that the Inquisitor is aware of the shrine and either invesigating it or manipulating the marines into triggering it.

 

Ok. But a "pure" Black Templar force allowing "tech-shrine changed psychic" Black Templars to quit the field unmolested? With all due respect, that ain't happenin'. Former battle

brothers or not. In all liklihood, the "Disavowed" would become the "Hunted" right quick.

The majority of the chapter are surface-side and are affected. only those still ship-side are unchanged.

the effect isn't discovered until a few days after it happens.

options:

- Those who are unchanged leave with the 'other' ship?

- the commander sends them down to the shrine for a hit without telling them what's going on?

Obviously it's a mind bending/trying ordeal for the ex-BT but they collectively decide that their duty is still to serve the Emperor.

 

 

The other Black Templar force doesn't have to arrive. You could run with just the Novamarines and Inquisitor. Keep the "change". But then the Solar Blades are more reclusive, not wanting to draw prying eyes.

i like it.

i had been using the idea of an on going Black Templar/Solar Blade animosity.

possibly even the NM don't have to know. could just have the inquisitor send them off for founding with a note to BT saying they were lost to the man.

the Changed do not public flaunt their powers or origins  (yes... like batman)

they 'start' from most people's perception from their trip to Terra for founding.

 

 

 

You already talk some about having to scavenge for material the chapter needs. Just make it perpetual.
how long could a chapter expect to sustain losses and continue to operate at near 'standard' potential though?

i was hoping that apart from having inquisitorial backing, setting up in the boonies would lower their profile.

 

 

The physical change or psychic ability that wasn't previously present in the geneseed but is now being passed on to new recruits is mutation and also likely to bring the Imperial

heat down on your chapter. Another reason to keep a low profile.

i'm having been playing the inquisitor intervention angle here. possilby aiming for the inquisitor building himself a self-sustaining grey knights style chapter feel.

 

 

I'm kind of getting a Soul Drinkers vibe from your original premise. In my opinion, it needs some changes. BUT this is your chapter so do as you will and have fun with it.

interesting observation. i hadn't though of running them renegade.

probably prefer the loyalist angle if possible though would need to stress the complete secrecy of the chapter's origins.

 

thanks again for the input, it's much appreciated.

[Draakur]

Hmmm... an entire chapter of suddenly-psykers (weak though they be) is, for me at least, hard to get my head around - especially just floating around mostly unnoticed. I feel like that's your main hurdle here (and that's not mentioning what was brought up about the BTs just outright slaughtering them immediately, which seems most likely), and the renegade option certainly sticks out to me as one of the better and more plausible directions to take this. Personally I'd be looking at that next, if you're willing to.

 

Any human with psychic potential, first and foremost, is considered a serious potential threat to the Imperium at large, and only worth the risk of keeping them around if they are to be specially trained or killed off for some ritual purpose. As strong and disciplined as a space marine is, I'm not sure how plausible it is for one to be suddenly turned into a conduit for psychic energy and then automatically fully able to control this aspect of himself and not just immediately be possessed/taken over or abused by some malign warp entity. No prior training in this would lead to a host of disasters before it was brought into control, I would imagine, that's if it can be bought under control at all and if the aforementioned disasters didn't prove the chapter's undoing.

 

So I find this bit hard to manage... but conversely, if you can find a way around it, I feel like you'll have a really interesting chapter. Great effort overall, nice and thorough and I like the pace at which you've written their development their timeline and growth.

 

+edit+ You might've noticed I just posted a chapter with some similar inclinations, but gone about in an entirely different way (and with some downsides to their predispositions). Have a look and see if that helps at all :) Looking forward to see what you do with your guys, brother.

Edited February 8, 2015 by Draakur

[paulJam]

why oh why didn't i just repaint the BT a totally different colour !!!

 

will embark on a rewrite, include a bit more in the summary to explain some of the circumstances. the main WIP is too long though.

 

shall probably scrap the original conflict with the second set of BT. though i did like the tension and potential ongoing animosity this provided.

 

procedings will stilll be instigated by the wily inquistior who is trying to create a 'stable' grey knights force. will have the inquisitor write off the Changed chapter to the BT.

 

also need to emphasis the secrecy of the chapter's origins, and make sure they don't run into any old BT comrades.

 

something to work on.

thanks for the input everyone.

[paulJam]

An alternate introductory storyline, using some of the suggestions received.

less summary, more narative.

 

opinions welcome; though i'm still looking at developing the original ( and yes, left field ) aspects.

 

my plastics army was adjusted to the situation rather than just stripped and repainted.

similarly i'd prefer to work on their backstory idea rather than scraping it just because that's an easier option.

 

Hidden Content

 

Origins

The Solar Blades are an extant Chapter founded during the closing years of M40 and active for over a millennium, though the Chapter’s origins extend much further back.

 

 

Introduction…

“We are arriving in the system now Captain Talar,” states a weathered Chaplain.

 

His deep-set eyes pierce the opaque darkness of the dormitory cell, passing the iconic Powersword leaning silently against the wall, settling finally on a dark shadow crouched low against the wall.

 

“Something amiss Monchelor?” the question anticipates the answer. The voice is like dark liquid, permeating the air; solid, commanding, organic.

 

“Indeed. The planet is missing Captain.”

 

In the darkness the Chaplain sees two slivers of white as the Captains brow rises ever so slightly.

 

“Sensors?”

 

“In order sir. There is simply nothing there.”

 

“I see. Thank you brother Chaplain.”

 

It is 098.M41 and the strike cruiser “Burning Wing” has arrived near the southern edge of the galaxy. The Solar Blade Chapter are returning to a significant site, a place that led to their fateful founding almost a century prior.

 

 

The Changing

A Black Templar strike cruiser responds to a distress call, originating from an area ‘off-the-map’ in terms of documented imperial presence.

 

A planet known as Rubik (literally “the ground” to the indigenous human tribe) is a primitive, lost world under invasion by Orks.

 

A force of Novamarines arrives two hours later, independently responding to the imperial signal. The forces combine anticipating a quick purge of the green invaders.

 

As they close on the planet they observe small pockets of conflict. The resident human stand no chance of victory armed as they are with the most primitive of “weapons”, but they fight on heedless to their inevitable demise. For the Orks it seems more a perverse entertainment than true war as their ironically superior technology reaps a steady toll. Even the Ork ships seem focused on the planet-side spectacle, like lewd, leering spectators.

 

The Novamarines concentrate on the Ork ships capitalizing on their distraction; battering the crude fleet into a fiery, unforeseen maelstrom.

The Templars launch a punishing ground assault eager to teach the Orks the meaning of true battle.

 

Barely are the Templars on firm soil before they are pummeled by Ork and human alike. The unexpected and relentless attacks from the rabid, raging humans cannot be dissuaded, and through cruel necessity the marines clear field after field of all life, green skin or pink.

 

The Orks have not bothering with fortification against such a paltry enemy.

 

The Templars find a cowered settlement; the sick, the young, the extremely old or enfeebled. All able bodied locals had enter the ‘Tec-Camber’, a taboo place that sends people into a permanent, feral, blood-lusting rage.

 

With the Orks now on the back foot in the eastern zone, the Captain, Chaplain and a full third of the Company go in search of the ‘Tec-Camber’. It is a low mesa with a circular stone and metal henge in the centre. As they cautiously approach an earth-shuddering jolt thumps upward through the ground with a pale flash of light. The marines are knocked off their feet but otherwise unharmed.

 

As they pick themselves up a fresh reserve of Orks descends nearby cutting their investigation short.

 

The marines regroup readying for the approaching horde. The Captain and Chaplain notice that their Powersword and Crozius burn with a warm orange glow rather than the familiar cold blue. Only a questioning look can pass between them before a wave of green smashes into the unflinching wall of marines.

 

On the field marines notice that Orks are sometimes knocked away before they even land their blow, that their aim seems truer or they sense a choppa swinging toward them before the attack even commences. Only their unparalleled training allows them to fight through the unsettling confusion.

 

The complete cleansing of the planet takes a number of days, during which time the strange manifestations develop. The Captain and Chaplain discuss the matter. They have obviously been Changed somehow by the ancient tech-shrine. They order marines present at the shrine to keep their condition to themselves for the time being.

 

An Inquisitor arrives as the final battle concludes, demanding an immediate audience with the Commanding officer as he makes planet-fall.

 

The unremarkable figure sits solemnly at a spartan table, he wears his worn visage as a mask; emotion, an ability long departed, would not pass in either direction across this countenance.

 

The Captain enters the room and the Inquisitor’s gaze rises, ‘I am Rathari.’ He looks away as though something else has captured his attention.

 

 ‘So Captain,’ his voice smooth and beguiling, a talent honed through his trade, ‘did you encounter any… anomalies during your exploits?’

 

‘There is a tech-shrine nearby,’ the Captain replies levelly, ‘to the East.’

 

‘And have you… seen it… personally?’ asks the inquisitor.

 

A moment passes, ‘I have.’

 

‘I can sense it on you,’ states the inquisitor crisply, ‘but do not be alarmed; it is not the taint of chaos that embraces you.’

 

“Then you know what is happening to us?” starts the Captain, his voice rising the subtlest of degrees.

 

The Inquisitor does not answer, merely stares at the towering marine as though inspecting a statue.

 

 “And you sent the signal?”

 

‘You have a new path now,’ Rathari declares, both decisive and ineffable.

 

He charges the marines with a journey to Terra, where they will report immediately to Titan. They will petition the High Council for recognition as a new chapter and He will expedite their founding.

 

The Black Templar command will be notified that they were lost to a man during the battle.

 

“The Novamarines?“

 

“They will help you adjust to your new… talents. And they will not disclose your secret. As should you.”

 

Rathari stands and starts to leave. “It would be safer for all of you to send your unaffected marines to… ‘guard the shrine’. Immediately.”

 

He pauses at the door, “and get rid of these,” he taps his own shoulder.

 

The captain looks down at the simple, revered cross adorning the recently ablated surface of his shoulder pauldron. For a moment his mind ponders the knife-edge existence of the Astartes; dead, alive, brother, outcast.

 

‘For the Emperor,’ the palest of whispers.

 

‘Sergeant,’ he calls, ‘assemble the units deployed in the Northern zone.’

 

Soon all of the Company have been exposed to the shrines potent force.

 

It is a time of confusion and internal moral conflict for the marines trained for so long to despise all forms of psychic interaction. With the assistance of the Novamarines Librarians they come to an understanding if not outright acceptance of their situation.

 

Several years later their founding is approved and the new Chapter leaves Sol’s now familiar hue behind.

 

They immerge as the Solar Blades Chapter; a small, hastily assembled successor of the Imperial Fist. They crusades for 100 years travelling almost at random, taking part in a battle here, a skirmish there; avoiding the Black Templar and the site of their fateful conception. They eschew a homeworld and never stay in one place for long, forging acquaintances and (re)building a historical presence while remaining circumspect; too elusive to become enigmatic.

 

On returning to the Rubik system almost a century later they discover the planet completely gone, leaving no trace of the powerful artifact. The entire system is nothing but a blank void, denoting an explosion of truly magnificent proportions.

 

They receive information from the Novamarines that the Inquisitor was killed approximately 60 years after their meeting at Rubik, leaving his intended machinations a mystery.

 

Their obligations seemingly invalidated they truly ‘have a new path now’, and it one of their own design.

 

Edited July 25, 2015 by paulJam

[Draakur]

A drastic improvement IMO, looks good man. Gotta say, you've turned me from struggling a fair bit with this, to feeling like you've actually pulled it off :) I really like how you write - the narrative is stronger now, the dialogue sits well and the whole new The Changing entry just progresses the whole thing a lot better.

 

I still find it hard to forget that they're esssentially uber-marines with no real drawbacks, and the practical implications of the warp-conduit thing are still very real. But you've made it a hell of a lot more palatable and believable :) Do you write other fiction or anything around here? Again, I really like how you write!

[paulJam]

@Draakur: Thank for the feedback Brother.

 

i've only been writing this stuff for fun; just starting with bullet (bolter) point concepts, flesh them out, then imagine it playing like a movie and desribing it. have roughed out a few SB battles as short stories but nothing publishable. Word's thesaurus always gets a good workout !!

 

It's perfect understandable that people would object in terms of canon. It's (to my knowledge) unprecendented and swaying precariously on the border of credibility.

the hope was that by making their warp influence 'fixed' so they can't grow it and become megolomanic it would make the concept a little more palatable. i don't understand the mechanics of how it would necessarily happen, but developing that out is the real fun. the power doesn't give everyone a tangible boost.

The key concepts was to quickly bring them in line with librarian compliant companies, throwing them through a mental wringer, and splitting them from their parent chapter.

 

If you want a writing buddy to throw rough drafts at let me know.

[paulJam]

so, based on the revised introduction/origins i'm considering putting my chappies up for inclusion in the index astates.

 

i'm working on a rewrite to neaten it up so there's a definitve document but essentially it's the intro content in post #7 and everything else from post #1.

 

i'd just rather have any objections made before submitting the request and getting called heretic, mutant, or both in another place.

 

 

re something i was thinking about re 'the change'...

i was hoping to not add a lot of detailed explanations about how it happened as i like that unexplained element of mystery. hopefully the machinations of the inquisitor are much clearer, providing kind of a 'why' (did he know specifically what would happen? was he experimenting?), and also demonstrating some kind of official interest hence not getting just killed off for a mutated gene-seed.

but, i have thought about the 'how' in order to justify that fore my own sake.

 

my proposal is that the tech-shrine is human and dates from the dark ages. it's purpose is possibly for transport, possibly a prototype 'webway' type device. this would justify an interaction with the warp.

the emperor was all but on top of this technology (ba doum tssssch), and obviously so were the eldar. the assumption is that at some stage ancient humans were working on something similar.

there is no explanation of why it was abandonded. perhaps it just didn't work. perhaps it sent people mad, instead of transporting them. perhaps the warp storms made it unworkable. perhaps it's the end node on a series of other nodes that was lost over time. perhaps it wasn't abandonded but the people that made it just died out.

ultimately unexplained but plenty of perhaps plausible possibilities.

 

so there's no real specific reason why it would make SM warp conduits (to whatever degree it does), though the machine (whatever it is) does tap into the warp somehow.

the effect could be the result of malfunction, part of the reason it never made it into production, or an unexpected 'feature' that developed over time (like 'vger').

it is not stated that regular humans are not also affected in the same way (warp ability), only that they are driven mad. they may also have the warp manifestation, but are just assumed by their fellow rubikians to be crazy, too rabid to actually explore or make use of the power.... and presumably killed off quickly.

the only explanation that i have for the difference between normal humans and SM is that SM are more resilient. other explanations could easily be postulated.

 

anyway, so imo 'the change' is probably the most difficult hurdle for of my chapter in terms of 'general' acceptance. that said, the warp manifestation is largely unimportant in terms of game play and usually neglegable for the majority of SM.

as such i think that the Chapter definition does not suffer from it's lack of full explanation of what the shrine is or the mechanics of the effect on the SM themselves. these elements could be argued (possibly successfully) as universe plausible, and left as unexplained... for now.

 

open to suggestions, alternate ideas or discussion of course

 

ta

Edited February 16, 2015 by paulJam

[paulJam]

[redacted]

Edited May 29, 2017 by paulJam

[paulJam]

[redacted]

Edited May 29, 2017 by paulJam

[Doctor Perils]

I might be missing something, but how do you open this file in order to read it ? I've tried clicking on it and saving it to my PC, but to no avail

[paulJam]

it's just a image, screen shot of html.
didn't figure anyone wold actually want to read it so just put it here for my own WIP 'diary'.
 
if you're interested...

(contains just the text, each year/event/place links to a details page - have been using a file based wiki so i can work on it anywhere, thinking of changing so i can export to html etc)
 

Hidden Content

Chapter Timeline

900.M40

950.M40

982.M40: [Orks] Black Templar Company arrives Rubik "The Changing"

983.M40: Departs Rubik after training with Novamarines. ***

990.M40: Solar Blades Chapter officially founded. Departs Terra.

990.M40-105.M41: The Lost Crusade

000.M41

050.M41

Ships: Strike Cruiser inherited from Novamarines. Refitted (C2) "Arnum"

100.M41

105.M41 Rubik: Return to Rubik. ***

Status Update 010 (105.M41) Status Update

105.M41 Podd: [Chaos] Podd Chaos cult ***

Status Update 020 (105.M41) Status Update

109.M41 Yul-Nakar: [Orks] Yul-Nakar Orks, space battle ***
109.M41 BatRep

109.M451 Namid: Namid

111.M41-115.M41: [Dark Eldar] Podd, Namid

115.M41 Podd: Podd (Update)

118.M41 Namid: Namid (Update)

Status Update 030 (120.M41) Status Update

121.M41 Podd: [Orks] Kife Orks, ground battle ***
121.M41 BatRep

Status Update 040 (121.M41, 123.M41) SHORT Update

123.M41: [Dark Eldar] Space ***
123.M41 BatRep

124.M41: [Dark Eldar] Namid
124.M41 BatRep

128.M41: [Dark Eldar] Yul-Nakar
128.M41 BatRep

130.M41: [Orks] Space
130.M41 BatRep

Status Update 050 (138.M41) SHORT Update

Status Update 060 (139.M41) SHORT Update

139.M41 Tue: [Orks] Tue/Tue ***
139.M41 BatRep

Status Update 070 (143.M41) SHORT Update

145.M41: [Dark Eldar] Podd
145.M41 BatRep

146.M41: [Dark Eldar] Podd
146.M41 BatRep

147.M41: [Dark Eldar] Space
147.M41 BatRep

Status Update 080 (149.M41) Status Update

150.M41

150.M41: Request to develop 'podd sector'

Status Update 085 (153.M41) SHORT Update

154.M41 Defer: Defer

156.M41: [Orks] Blahaw
156.M41 BatRep

157.M41 Holow: Holow

Status Update 090 (160.M41) SHORT Update

161.M41 Pac-17: Pac-17

162.M41: [Orks] Space
162.M41 BatRep

168.M41: [Chaos] Zorn chaos pirates
168.M41 BatRep

170.M41 Tell: Tell

Status Update 100 (171.M41) Status Update

172.M41-174.M41: [Chaos] Zorn chaos pirates
172.M41 BatRep

176.M41: [Dark Eldar] Yul-Nakar
176.M41 BatRep

Status Update 110 (176.M41) SHORT Update

181.M41: [Orks] Podd
181.M41 BatRep

182.M41: [Orks] Space
182.M41 BatRep

189.M41: [Orks] Space
189.M41 BatRep

Status Update 120 (190.M41) SHORT Update
190.M41-192.M41: Crusade 'Altar' (grey knights) - Frigate task force only

195.M41: [Eldar] Space
195.M41 BatRep

199.M41 Farrah: Farrah Escort

Status Update 130 (199.M41) Status Update

200.M41

201.M41 Pont: Pont

202.M41: [Dark Eldar] Yul-Nakar
202.M41 BatRep
203.M41 BatRep

204.M41 Harpa: Harpa

206.M41: [Orks] Space
206.M41 BatRep

Status Update 140 (206.M41) SHORT Update

207.M41: [Orks] Harpa
207.M41 BatRep

Status Update 150 (210.M41) SHORT Update

Ships: Strike Cruisers received from Administratum. (C3) "Civilization" and (C4) "Darkness Bane"

Status Update 155 (215.M41) SHORT Update

217.M41 Jep: Jep ***

218.M41 Tell: [Dark Eldar] Tell ***
218.M41 BatRep

Status Update 160 (218.M41) Status Update

219.M41: [Dark Eldar] Space
219.M41 BatRep

221.M41: [Dark Eldar] Holow
221.M41 BatRep

Status Update 170 (226.M41) SHORT Update

230.M41: [Orks] Pont
230.M41 BatRep

232.M41 Malland: Malland

242.M41-246.M41: [Dark Eldar] Podd-Namid-Jep-Harpa

248.M41: 'Sumners Claw' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

Status Update 180 (249.M41) Status Update

250.M41

250.M41-255.M41: [Dark Eldar] Space (plus Novamarines) - after many skirmishes a combined task force makes an effort to push back the Dark Elder presence

260.M41 Remoa: Remoa

261.M41 Remo: Remo

265.M41: [Orks] Tell
265.M41 BatRep

266.M41: [Orks] Pont
266.M41 BatRep

266.M41-267.M41: [Ork] Space

268.M41: [Orks] Space
268.M41 BatRep

270.M41 Maark: Maark

270.M41-272.M41: [Orks] Gaart Wargh Space

280.M41 Condal: Condal

281.M41 Parkes: Parkes

281.M41 Nicas: Nicas

288.M41: 'Fernercian Python' - Rogue Hulk [Feral Orks]

290.M41: [Dark Eldar] Remo
290.M41 BatRep

292.M41 Gondo: Gondo

295.M41: [Orks] Jep
295.M41 BatRep

299.M41 Portland: Portland

Status Update 190 (299.M41) Status Update

300.M41

300.M41-375.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Arnum, (FR) Merka, (FR)Theta

302.M41-303.M41: [Orks] Farrah
302.M41 BatRep

303.M41 Jomar: Jomar

304.M41 Pushk: Pushk

308.M41 Risset: Risset

310.M41-315.M41: [Orks] Cal-12/Cal-12
310.M41 BatRep

316.M41: [Dark Eldar] Maark
316.M41 BatRep

317.M41 Dalb: Dalb

318.M41 Figi: Figi

320.M41: [Dark Eldar] Podd
320.M41 BatRep

325.M41 Corsair: Corsair

328.M41 Ooden: Ooden

330.M41-410.M41: [Dark Eldar] Campaign

335.M41: [Dark Eldar] Jep
335.M41 BatRep

340.M41: [Dark Eldar] Jomar
340.M41 BatRep

346.M41: [Dark Eldar] Pac-17
346.M41 BatRep

348.M41: 'Pilum and Scutum' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

Status Update 200 (349.M41) Status Update

350.M41

Status Update 210 (350.M41) SHORT Update

351.M41: [Eldar] Space
351.M41 BatRep

353.M41-380.M41: Deliverance Campaign (SC) Civilization, (FR) Javlin, (FR) Corban, (FR) Hamon

360.M41: [Dark Eldar] Jomar
360.M41 BatRep

365.M41-368.M41: [Orks] Corsair

368.M41: [Dark Eldar] Pushk
368.M41 BatRep

371.M41: [Dark Eldar] Malland (Destroyed)

372.M41: [Chaos Cult] Pushk
372.M41 BatRep

373.M41: [Dark Eldar] Tell
373.M41 BatRep

375.M41: (SC) Arnum, (FR) Merka, (FR) Theta - Return from Terra

380.M41: (SC) Civilization, (FR) Javlin, (FR) Corban, (FR) Hamon - Return from Deliverance

380.M41 Met: Met

382.M41 Forge: Forge

385.M41-440.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Civilization, (FR) Cupine, (FR) Sath

Status Update 220 (385.M41) SHORT Update

387.M41: [Dark Eldar] Remo
387.M41 BatRep

393.M41 Pankin: Pankin

398.M41 Adlan: Adlan

Status Update 230 (399.M41) Status Update

400.M41

400.M41: First official recognition of the Silvestris Sector in Administratum records.

400.M41-405.M41: [Dark Eldar] Adlan Campaign
400.M41 BatRep

405.M41-408.M41: [Dark Eldar] Beyond Adlan, DE Planetoid (Xaphan)
405.M41 BatRep

412.M41 Coswar: Coswar

417.M41 Forge: [Chaos] Forge Chaos Cultist, rebellion

420.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C5) "Dread Cowl"

Status Update 240 (420.M41) SHORT Update

422.M41 Hamp: Hamp

423.M41 Bodi: Bodi

424.M41 Hef: Hef

437.M41: [Orks] Corsair
437.M41 BatRep

440.M41: (SC) Civilization, (FR) Cupine, (FR)Sath - Return from Terra

443.M41: 'Myrtle' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

445.M41-525.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Darkness Bane, (FR) Corban, (FR) Javlin, (FR) Lola

Status Update 250 (449.M41) Status Update

450.M41

455.M41 Own: Own

457.M41 J77: J77

459.M41 Bowan: Bowan

459.M41: [Orks] Corsair, Dalb
459.M41 BatRep

467.M41 Forge: [Chaos] Forge Chaos Marines and Daemons, ground battle ***
467.M41: death of Mil Talar, successor Morgar Nobel - Forge Battle

Status Update 260 (467.M41) Status Update

470.M41 Jper: Jper

Status Update 270 (470.M41) SHORT Update

473.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C6) "Talar's Revenge"

477.M41 K3: K3

Status Update 280 (480.M41) Status Update

480.M41-485.M41: Northern Sweep Campaign

485.M41 Kenwall: Kenwall

486.M41 Maul: Maul

Status Update 290 (490.M41) Status Update

492.M41: [Orks] Space
492.M41 BatRep

497.M41: [Eldar] Space
497.M41 BatRep

500.M41

all detailed records lost

525.M41: (SC) Darkness Bane, (FR) Javlin, (FR) Lola - Return from Terra

530.M41-580.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Dread Cowl, (FR) Hamon, (FR) Grinder

544.M41: 'Hastrum' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

550.M41

Status Update 295 (550.M41) SHORT Update

553.M41 Whalan: Whalan

554.M41 Jort: Jort

555.M41-560.M41: Eastern Sweep Campaign - Toowoon (IG, Knights)

Status Update 300 (560.M41) SHORT Update

571.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C7) "Austris"

Status Update 310 (575.M41) SHORT Update

580.M41: (SC) Dread Cowl, (FR) Hamon, (FR) Grinder - Return from Terra

580.M41-581.M41: [Orks] Trent / Trent

580.M41 Moth: Moth

580.M41 Abvel: Abvel

580.M41 Kbonz: Kbonz

580.M41 Smalroc: Smalroc

581.M41-590.M41: [Orks] Trent War Southern Sweep Campaign

599.M41-669.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Talar's Revenge, (FR) Savannah, (FR) Manatee, (FR) Mako

597.M41: 'Portha' - Rogue Hulk [Daemon]

Status Update 320 (599.M41) Status Update

600.M41

602.M41 Galel: Galel

606.M41 Elgin: Elgin

621.M41-630.M41: Western Sweep Campaign

632.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C8) "Emperor's Shadow"

Status Update 330 (632.M41) SHORT Update

Status Update 340 (640.M41) SHORT Update

645.M41 Tagne: Tagne

Status Update 350 (649.M41) Status Update

650.M41

666.M41 Argalar: Argalar

669.M41: (SC) Talar's Revenge, (FR) Savannah, (FR) Manatee, (FR) Mako - Return from Terra

675.M41-740.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Austris, (FR) Christine, (FR) Justine, (FR) Chambord

690.M41: 'Sizzling Gem' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

No local conflicts in this period

Status Update 360 (699.M41) Status Update

700.M41

712.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C9) "Bolter Hand"

Status Update 365 (720.M41) SHORT Update

728.M41 Caspan: Caspan

738.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C10) "Sun Spot"

740.M41: (SC) Austris, (FR) Christine, (FR) Justine, (FR) Chambord - Return from Terra

Status Update 370 (749.M41) Status Update

750.M41

750.M41-820.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Emperor's Shadow, (FR) Flint, (FR) Badger, (FR) Cormorant

761.M41 Mantaka: Mantaka

782.M41 Karbar: Karbar

798.M41: 'Mytochron-Balast' - Rogue Hulk [Gene Stealer]

No local conflicts in this period

800.M41

818.M41: Strike Cruiser completed locally. (C11) "Resistance"

Status Update 375 (810.M41) SHORT Update

Status Update 377 (820.M41) SHORT Update

820.M41: (SC) Emperor's Shadow, (FR) Flint, (FR) Badger, (FR) Cormorant - Return from Terra

Status Update 380 (822.M41) Status Update - outward

828.M41 Marley: Marley

830.M41 Ka: Ka

830.M41-890.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Bolter Hand, (FR) Coli, (FR) Chivas, (FR) Bricker

Status Update 390 (849.M41) Status Update

850.M41

855.M41 Prospar: Prospar

890.M41: (SC) Bolter Hand, (FR) Coli, (FR) Chivas, (FR) Bricker - Return from Terra

895.M41-965.M41: Terran Pilgrimage (SC) Sun Spot, (FR) Centaur, (FR) Roman, (FR) Assegai

No local conflicts in this period

900.M41

905.M41 SBFHQ: Silvestris [sB Fleet HQ]

907.M41-911.M41: [sM Renegade/Chaos] Campaign Badab
908.M41: death of Morgar Nobel, successor Haral Dalan - Badab Expedition

950.M41

951.M41: Chapter Reform

965.M41: (SC) Sun Spot, (FR) Centaur, (FR) Roman, (FR) Assegai - Return from Terra

999.M41: Battle Barge completed locally. (B1) "Gunrock"

000.M42

Edited July 26, 2015 by paulJam

[Doctor Perils]

Wow, seems very complete! I particularly like one of the ships names: Lola...

 

Anyway, here are a few impressions reading your main IA article. I'm jotting down things I notice, generally things that "bother" me. The article on the whole is pretty good, I'm only trying to point out the places that you might want to enhance or change things slightly. These are just suggestions of course.

1. Could you consider making the font larger ? I'm having to zoom in to read it. It's not too annoying to do that I suppose, but it doesn't take much. Also, for your recounting for the changing, don't write in italics: its a bit of a pain to read to be brutally honest. Short paragraphs in italics are all right, a whole text is too much.
2. If the people of Rubik are Feral (or at the most Feudal), don't have Planetary Defense Forces or really know what the meaning of technology is, how can they contact the Imperium ? You go on to say that the inquisitor called for them: if he knew of such an important artefact, wouldn't he have called for a full blown crusade to make sure it didn't fall into enemy hands ?
3. Warp travel, while faster than light, still generally takes months to get from point A to point B. It seems unlikely that two fleets arrive within two hours of each other.
4. You seem to have chosen the Novamarines in particular. Why is that ? their homeworld is right at the North of the Ultima Segmentum, pretty much on the other side of the Galaxy from the veiled region. It seems likely that another closer chapter would respond before them.
5. The only known founding in M40 is the 25th, in the later half of the 40th Millenium. Also, a simple Inquisitor isn't generally considered to have enough power to sponsor the founding of a chapter on his own, especially if he hasn't got enough power to call for more backup to protect the shrine. You also put the founding of the chapter in 990.M41 in your timeline summary.
6. I don't think the Black Templars would stand about meekly if they were told a full company (or crusade ?) of their chapter was anihilated: they'd investigate, and would logically find some of the truth behind the Solar Blades
7. It seems like your newly founded chapter is understrength. Why is that ?
8. A full chapter of psykers seems far-fetched. Also, psychic mutation in the Gene Seed is grounds to be PURGED by the inquisition. If you really want to have lots of Psykers, a full company is quite enough I think: this in fact would allow the psychic mutation to be passed on, because gene-tithes would be provided by the other companies.
9. Not all power weapons have blue fairy lights. A good thing too, because otherwise the Mechanicum would think your chapter was tinkering with holy technology
10. Zero fall to chaos is too strong especially with such a psychic chapter. I'd temper these words a bit if I were you. I'd have also said that it was too far out there, but your chapter is still pretty young, so I'll say it's all right-ish.
11. I'm not completely aware of how psychic powers are supposed to manifest, but what you describe doesn't seem that different from what I'd gathered from other places. Yet you seem to want to create a new kind of psychic manifestation, unique to them. Why ? Your chapter is already unusual enough as it is, and this doesn't really add to its flavour. If you want to make your chapter unique, I don't think this is the path to take.
12. 1000 tactical marine limit. You mean that you have 500 assault and devastator marines as well ? Doesn't really seem necessary. Except if you mean marines of the line (I believe that's what the Codex Astartes calls it), with ten companies of ten squads of ten men (varied types), with all officers, command squads and specialists added on after.
13. Okay for them staying mainly together, but sometimes a company or two breaking off for a crusade. You might want to change the wording slightly though, because it seems a bit contradictory for the moment. Also, do whole companies have to go on pilgramages at the same time ? I think just one marine or two at a time is quite enough, I'll even go as far as a squad. Otherwise, your chapter is greatly handicaped for a long time. (I read your section on beliefs later, so this seems better at least)
14. You describe your combat doctrine quite well, though I don't entirely agree with the name you give it (it doesn't really fit in my opinion). What of the new space marine gunships (stormraven and stormtalon) ? You say your chapter likes thunderhawks over droppods, but you don't mention the smaller varieties.
15. Space Marines never have such bad supplies as to need to use tent pegs as bayonnets, unless they've been declared excomunicate traitoris or have really exceptionnally bad ties with the mechanicus. Neither is your case. However, the way you describe them revering pieces of gear made in the heat of the action is intriguing.
16. Your thunderhawk basically has an additional hull-mounted lascannon... They already have two, plus multiple other armament. Why does your thunderhawk need yet another one, and what does it trade against being able to have it ?
17. I like your torpedo, though you'd be best saying it was developped with the help of the Mechanicus, I don't see chapters having the knowledge for this on their own. I also like the fact that you are in the process of creating your first battle-barge.
18. Your captains may be too old. Dante is supposed to be the oldest flesh and blood marine "by far", and he is 1300 years old. Make sure you say that they were only neophytes at the time of the change.

[paulJam]

> Wow, seems very complete! I particularly like one of the ships names: Lola...

i wonder what was playing on the radiogram when i was writing... L-O-L-A... thank you kinks.

 

> that you might want to enhance or change things slightly. These are just suggestions of course.

Lord Th/orn thank you for the thorough notes. very much appreciated.
 

> font

now bigger, italics generally removed.

the editor gives me the fear sometimes

> If the people of Rubik are Feral (or at the most Feudal), don't have Planetary Defense Forces or really know what the meaning of technology is, how can they contact the Imperium?

the inquisitor made the distress call. expanded in later fluff. the inquisitor is getting his own story arc which is fun (to write). he instigates these particular events as part of his own agenda, the solar blades are a unintended consequence, but one he intends to develop opportunistically.

 

> You go on to say that the inquisitor called for them: if he knew of such an important artefact, wouldn't he have called for a full blown crusade to make sure it didn't fall into enemy hands ?

Short notice... even inquisitors get caught on the back foot sometimes. Plus he was tracking a lead, not following up on a sure thing.

 

> Warp travel, while faster than light, still generally takes months to get from point A to point B. It seems unlikely that two fleets arrive within two hours of each other.

i assume they would translate several hours/days from the actual system and the astartes would notice each other during that time frame. Shortened for the article.
 

> You seem to have chosen the Novamarines in particular. Why is that ? their homeworld is right at the North of the Ultima Segmentum, pretty much on the other side of the Galaxy from the veiled region. It seems likely that another closer chapter would respond before them.

i figured they were out crusading so not tied to known routes/systems/conflicts. can be convinced otherwise. suggestions? must be psycher compatible.

[edit] also...

- not local - so if templars were to investigate they can legitimately have moved on. if i'd chosen raven guard then there's the possibility they would have records of the event at deliverance.

- venerable - old school chapter gives weight to their account, so if they (NM) say the chapter fought with them and they had no issues with them then there's an assumed greater worth to that statement than some later random founding.

- also based on the codex maps (at least the old ones) there are chapters out an about beyond then home sectors and even segmentum.

 

> The only known founding in M40 is the 25th, in the later half of the 40th Millenium.

regular route foundings perhaps. who knows about those on the down low??

 

> Also, a simple Inquisitor isn't generally considered to have enough power to sponsor the founding of a chapter on his own, especially if he hasn't got enough power to call for more backup to protect the shrine.

who says he's a simple inquisitor?

definitely not stated in the paragraphs provided so as you suggest it is questionable.

this particular inquisitor operates as 'off the grid' as possible. but that doesn't mean he isn't hooked into his peer network.
His recommendation for the 'chapters' founding is no guarantee, but i think it's reasonable that it would be taken into account by the tHLoT. So the chapter journeys to Terra with no guarantee that they won't just be destroyed to request founding. Based on the inquisitor's assessment the pencil pushers consider them a worthy investment (albeit limited due to their not getting fitted out with full chapter equipment etc).
 

> You also put the founding of the chapter in 990.M41 in your timeline summary.

fixed. ta

 

> I don't think the Black Templars would stand about meekly if they were told a full company (or crusade ?) of their chapter was anihilated: they'd investigate, and would logically find some of the truth behind the Solar Blades

The chapter's first 100 years off the grid is intended to mitigate against such investigations. Presumably the inquisitor would provide some evidence that the ship was destroyed with the system etc.

And if the Black Templars do find out about the Solar Blade's origin then that just gives me a tangy storyline for later.

 

 

> It seems like your newly founded chapter is understrength. Why is that ?

They're just one company. They know the Templars would consider them aberrations and set about to destroy them, so they slink back to Terra, found up, and start doing their own thing under the radar. If we need plot... then the administratum sends them out to crusade and prove themselves. They have to survive to prove their worthiness with the shirt on their backs so to speak.
 

> A full chapter of psykers seems far-fetched. Also, psychic mutation in the Gene Seed is grounds to be PURGED by the inquisition. If you really want to have lots of Psykers, a full company is quite enough I think: this in fact would allow the psychic mutation to be passed on, because gene-tithes would be provided by the other companies.

 

It IS far fetched, that's my challenge.

It is grounds to be purged by the inquisitor... if it were not a tool of the inquisition. a la grey knights.

i'm considering phasing the effect out as the company comes full strength. including building a successor that will initially be those without the change.
so it's a temporary condition that eventually wears off. albeit 1000 years later.

 

> Zero fall to chaos is too strong especially with such a psychic chapter. I'd temper these words a bit if I were you. I'd have also said that it was too far out there, but your chapter is still pretty young, so I'll say it's all right-ish.

ok, zero for the time frame given. maybe there will be some in the future but i'm more likely to have them loose the powers than fall to chaos.
i consider their psychic ability to be more an 'analogue' variation to the standard psycher's 'digitial' version. the marines are not consumed as part of the process of using the warp, they only direct it. it's a limited interaction.  it's static so once whatever 'powers' the marines get (if any, and the majority see no substantial change) manifest very quickly after the gene-seed implantation and then never grow like a regular psycher's would.

hard to fit this all into a summary.
 

> I'm not completely aware of how psychic powers are supposed to manifest, but what you describe doesn't seem that different from what I'd gathered from other places. Yet you seem to want to create a new kind of psychic manifestation, unique to them. Why ?

disenfranchise them from the Templars. give them a reason to hide/crusade initially. and given it's an induced effect it can possibly be undone.

because being in a grim-dark universe isn't enough and they need a hack writer to really screw with them

 

> Your chapter is already unusual enough as it is, and this doesn't really add to its flavour. If you want to make your chapter unique, I don't think this is the path to take.

fair enough. suggestions as to how to make a company of black templars fall out of favour in short notice? plus give them librarians?

 

> 1000 tactical marine limit. You mean that you have 500 assault and devastator marines as well ? Doesn't really seem necessary. Except if you mean marines of the line (I believe that's what the Codex Astartes calls it), with ten companies of ten squads of ten men (varied types), with all officers, command squads and specialists added on after.

wording changed. thank you.

 

> Okay for them staying mainly together, but sometimes a company or two breaking off for a crusade. You might want to change the wording slightly though, because it seems a bit contradictory for the moment. Also, do whole companies have to go on pilgramages at the same time ? I think just one marine or two at a time is quite enough, I'll even go as far as a squad. Otherwise, your chapter is greatly handicaped for a long time. (I read your section on beliefs later, so this seems better at least)

wording changed.

the Terran pilgrimages are 1 strike cruiser and a couple of frigates, so about 6-7 squads.

the chapter considers the rite of passage/experience gained worth taking the risk of a reduced local presence.

for a campaign they all fight together rather than 1 or 2 companies (minotaur'esque), but small task forces might break off when not on campaign to do... whatever.

 

> You describe your combat doctrine quite well, though I don't entirely agree with the name you give it (it doesn't really fit in my opinion).

considered strategy?   they don't rush in without intel.   when they do is when they die.

bottom line, they're "sensible marines".

suggestions welcome.

 

> What of the new space marine gunships (stormraven and stormtalon) ? You say your chapter likes thunderhawks over droppods, but you don't mention the smaller varieties.

stormravens are used, there's mention of stormravens in some of the fluff stories (forge system) but they're standard pattern.

I think i was just mentioning the equipment with local variation/patterns.

 

> Space Marines never have such bad supplies as to need to use tent pegs as bayonnets, unless they've been declared excomunicate traitoris or have really exceptionnally bad ties with the mechanicus. Neither is your case. However, the way you describe them revering pieces of gear made in the heat of the action is intriguing.

On the books space marines might never have such bad supplies. a scavenging force might. They develop their resources by developing the sector, but initially start out with very little. They might have a forge ship of some sort to produce ammo, this is not stated (as yet).

I like the idea that they use literally whatever is at hand to crush the enemy down to rocks and sticks if it comes to that... the man is the weapon. the battle trinkets are reminders of that.

 

> Your thunderhawk basically has an additional hull-mounted lascannon... They already have two, plus multiple other armament. Why does your thunderhawk need yet another one, and what does it trade against being able to have it ?

amended text, takes a bit of hold space/transport capacity.

think ac-130 gunship. drops the squad then circles around blamming the enemy from afar.

something different.

 

> I like your torpedo, though you'd be best saying it was developped with the help of the Mechanicus, I don't see chapters having the knowledge for this on their own. I also like the fact that you are in the process of creating your first battle-barge.

text amended. props to the mechanicus. previous is short hand for 'this is our requirements' then the specialist develop the stuff. will review in light of this.

 

> Your captains may be too old. Dante is supposed to be the oldest flesh and blood marine "by far", and he is 1300 years old. Make sure you say that they were only neophytes at the time of the change.

i do kill them off over time.

but from my understanding astartes are effectively immortal biologically. it is only battle that causes their demise.

being sensible marines and in a 'low conflict' area is it unreasonable for them to live a bit longer?

they prefer intel and strategy over balls-out suicide charges...

 

will give it all a re-read. haven't looked at since i started the time line.

 

my intention with giving them 'psycherness' was not about them getting any particular extra powers and almost entirely about dumping them in a chaotic situation. something they're taught to despise for decades... now they have it. how do they survive? how do they cope with the change mentally and in light of their ex-brethren potentially hating them and chasing them down?

in terms of crunch they now get standard librarians. that's it. so it's not like they gain any particular buffs.

is it unlikely in terms of in-universe physics? Yep. Plausible? warp travel, daemons, laser guns and magic powers...

 

thanks again for the review and ideas lord thorn.

Edited July 27, 2015 by paulJam