Blood for the blood god, AKA an ode to khorne

[Kongou]

The blood of thousands stain my chain axe

skulls hang limply at my side

 while I look for tougher prey

to send to the blood god's side

I wear the bright crimson armor of

the blood of those I sent before

whose skull decorates the brass throne

 Blood for the blood god

skulls for the skull throne

death to the imperium

and the emperor

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I like it, overall.

 

Nitpick 1: It should be "To send to the Blood God's side" (note the apostrophe to indicate possession, and the capitalized words).

 

Nitpick 2: It should be "WHOSE skull decorates the Brass Throne" (emphasis mine; note the capitalized words), instead of "Who's skull decorates the brass throne".

 

Good grammar is important to making text understandable to readers.

[Kongou]

I like it, overall.

 

Nitpick 1: It should be "To send to the Blood God's side" (note the apostrophe to indicate possession, and the capitalized words).

 

Nitpick 2: It should be "WHOSE skull decorates the Brass Throne" (emphasis mine; note the capitalized words), instead of "Who's skull decorates the brass throne".

 

Good grammar is important to making text understandable to readers.

 Thank you for the feedback, I'm not that good with english, as it is not my native language. The correct grammar and what not will be fixed by servitors. Again, thank you for your input.