Doom Fists Chapter

[Righteousrob]

The Doom Fists

 

Origins

During an unknown founding between the 33^rd and 34 millennium the Doom Fist Chapter was commissioned. After the massive amount of military might lost in the Pale Wasting, the High Lords of Terra commissioned 11 new chapters to replace those which were lost. The Doom Fists were one of these 11 chapters. The records of the exact founding date have been lost.

 

Home World

On the outer edge of the Ultima Segmentum, near the Eastern Fringe, lies the cold ocean world of Meshegan. Within its wind swept islands and roaring seas keep the citizens of Meshegan toil to extract minerals and an abundance of fish for the 6 massive hives on planet. Meshegan orginal selection to serve as an honored Asartes Home world was for its harsh winters and unruly seas. The harsh conditions would lead to hardened Marines. While this has proven true, another added benefit is how quickly those taken out of the non-hives take to naval warfare. This has led to the Doom Fists to boast some of the best naval tacticians in the Segmentum.

The other 13 planets within the Sub-Sector Vitroa fall within the protection of the Doom Fist Chapter as well and serve as additional recruiting grounds in times of need. This does not withdraw the tithes from these planets and many Astra Militarum divisions are raised from these other 13 planets.

 

Deep within the largest mountain, on the largest island, lies the fortress monastery Anarba where citizens make pilgrimages to honor and respect their protectors and Angels whom they rarely see. During this time it is not uncommon for families to leave children behind, hoping the Legion will take them and make them Space Marines. More often than not these children die or become serfs rather than a glorious Space Marine.

 

Combat Doctrine

Being from the Imperial Fist lineage, the bolter holds the closest place in a Doom Fists' heart.  The Doom Fists Legion despises any trace of Xeno and will go to great lengths to ensure no taint or spread happens in their watch. Such as the Battle of Betteis Pass when the Legion held back a Dark Eldar raiding party and recaptured lost slaves. The Legion could not risk any sort of taint, believing that the slaves had both denounced their humanity when giving up in the face of danger and now having Xenos influence on them, and burned all slaves and traces of the Dark Eldar in the Pass before moving on. More than once their belief human purity has led to conflict with other chapters, most notably the Bronze Angels who value all human life.

 

The Doom Fists believe in scorched earth tactics, it is better to purge a world and start over than to let a world fall to anything but humanity. When the situation allows the chapter will unleash devastating orbital bombardments before deploying any marines other than scouts. Once the earth has been ground to a pulp the Fists will deploy in overwhelming ground force, most often by Rhino and certain elite elements by drop pod. Once the Marines are deployed, the Captains will set the many devastator squads to the rear and use overwhelming bolter fire to take key objectives.

Organization

The Doom Fists currently reside below Codex strength due to the loss of the 6^th company in the Battle for Vorlorus. Deployed to defend the world of Vorlorus the 6^th company came under constant attack from Tyranids when those they were defending turned out to be a genestealer cult. Though the Master of Sanctity tried to rally his troops they were over run and completely destroyed, even the battle cruiser Helmoc’s Fire was destroyed.

Due to belief in having many forces on the ground for overwhelming firepower and being a newer chapter, testing their ways,  the Doom Fists have more than an usual amount of scout squads which join them in campaigns to replace losses.

Beliefs

Doom Fists Chapter honors the all Holy Emperor, believing him to be the greatest leader but not a God. All Doom Fists believe one day the true hero of humanity will return to them and unite all successors the Imperial Fists into a Holy crusade.

 During the founding of Meshega the colonists had to purge out a colony of feral Orks who went by the name of Pointa Spears. It took decades of cleansing of the planet to fully remove the Ork stain and all citizens grew to hate any Xenos. To many young men had died, children slaughtered and resources burned by the brutal Spears that to this day young kids are told scary stories of large green monsters coming to steal the teeth of children.

 

Gene-seed
The Doom Fists were formed from Dorns geneseed, through the Death Strike Chapter. Before the Death Strike’s losses during the 13^th Black Crusade, they were tasked with founding the Doom Fists. During this time the Doom Fist chapter learned the lessons of Exterminatus in the Ulik Sector, how to deal with impossible odds in the Verdan Wars and the Doom Fists developed camaraderie with the Iron Hands when fighting the Hive Fleet Leviathan.

Battle-cry

Faugh a ballagh(Clear the Way)-Chapter Battlecry

 

 

Notable Campaigns

The Betrayal on Vorlorus (421.M41) – During a patrol in the Segmentum Obscurus, the 6^th company received a distress call from the Planetary Governor of Vorlorus of a Tyrannid attack. Initial defense of the cities repulsed the Xenos until more and more defense systems fell to unknown causes, allowing for more spores to fall. By the time the 6^th learned of the Genestealers turning off the defense systems half the company had been lost in the fighting. Master of Sancity Augonum Scorpirias tried to save what was left of the company but the ships in orbit had been destroyed.

Blood of the Truth(499.M41) – Librarian Alessio Galodiun believing to have found the location of a relic from the Heresy was given a task force of the 5^th to recover The Truth’s Light plasma gun. When the forces of the task force reached the relic they were ambushed by a Chaos Word Bearers war band. What should have been a quick mission turned into a month long fight of the frozen tundra of Obsidia IV. Only when elements of the 1^st arrived was the stalemate broken and the plasma gun recovered. The Truth’s Light was returned to the Imperial Fists after record searching found it to be used by a former sergeant of the 3^rd company.

 

Sword of Damocles Campaign -- To the galactic north-east an ancient shadow has lifted, revealing a close-knit network of star systems. These worlds herald back to the golden age of mankind, each world a potential treasure trove of knowledge and resources. A mass-colonization project went underway in late M41, with thousands of Imperial citizens and soldiers flooding into the virgin worlds. These worlds soon were beset by evil and Xenos. A galactic cry for help was sent from the governors and rulers of these worlds. The Doom Fists answered the call.

            Battle for Drea – After initial bombardment key strategic areas by the Cruiser Righteousfury, the Doom Fists sent key tactical elements to secure void shield generators around the city of Drea. During set up of the area a signal was sent to the Doom Fists by the Grey Knights, “Heretics and Traitors shall burn in His holy light”. All attempts to respond were met with silence. Across the field marched terminator squads and a Dreadknight. Devastator squad Alpha, overlooking the field from a burned out building, scored key hits with their lascannons. Devastator squad Alpha killed the Dreadknight, and a terminator squad to secure a void shield for further operations. Brother Bolineas was awarded marksmen honors for his skill in battle.  

                       

           

 

Fleet

5^th Company

Lunar Class Cruiser- Righteousfury

[Righteousrob]

Is it that bad? I have changed some stuff, I didnt like the Mechanicum part.

[Olis]

Is it that bad? I have changed some stuff, I didnt like the Mechanicum part.

 

I think the Liber, or the regulars at the moment, seem to be a little preoccupied. There's little critique to speak of happening at the moment, much to my chagrin. Rest assured, brother, I will comment on your post later today.

[Conn Eremon]

There's a lot going on with that name. Going by the fact that you tend to reference them solely as the 'Doom Fists,' it seems like you're using 'Legion' interchangeably with 'Chapter.' It seems to just be their own personal appellation for themselves, as they're listed as having a Codex organization. So kudos for making a Legion, but not trying to break the Codex by actually building one.

 

Personally, I would get rid of the 'Legion' though, and just keep it simple as the Doom Fists Chapter. It just seems like too much going on with the name as is, and just the Doom Fists feels much better. If 'Legion' is just being used to replace 'Chapter,' with no other reason to it, I think it'd be best to just keep to 'Chapter.'

 

However, if you do want this Chapter to have its own title for what a Chapter is, in their case a Legion, I'd say go for it. If there is an actual reason behind it, beyond 'just because,' then keep it and tell us what this reason is. Since I don't see a real reason yet, what follows is just a suggestion. Their true classification is still a Chapter, but maybe put in their organization how they follow the Codex size limitations while deliberately holding to the old Legion hierarchy and structure. The Terran model put out by Forge World is very interesting, and it'd be kind of cool to see a 40k Chapter modeled off of the Legion Chapter, mostly because of the additional layer of Battalions, two chunks of five hundred Marines that make up a Chapter, and are themselves made up of about five companies. I don't see anything in your article to suggest this might be something you're already going for, so I'm just throwing this out as a potential idea to consider. If you don't have access to the Forge World book, you can check out this image that shows on the Terran Legion model, and feel free to ask me for more details.

 

The next thing I wanted to point out is your Founding date and the use of the Tau. The 23rd (sentinel) Founding was late M37/early M38. The Damocles Crusade started 742.M41, and was the first encounter of the Imperium with the Tau. During the time of the Sentinel Founding, the Tau were expanding their empire. In fact, it was during their first expansion into the galaxy. But, at that time, the Tau had yet to encounter any humans (at least, none with any affiliation or connection with the Imperium). Now, I gave the date of the start of the Damocles Crusade as 742.M41. The Crusade was to counter the Tau expansion into Imperial territory which was only just beginning. But, according to Lexicanum, the prelude to this Crusade was the Inquisition getting concerned about Imperial Worlds interacting with the Tau Water Caste, and the exchanges of goods and technology were becoming common. It doesn't mention how much earlier this goes on, but certainly early enough for there to be an Imperial awareness of the Tau race during 738.M41, the date given as the latest Space Marine Founding, the 26th. If you want to hold onto the Tau as the beginning purpose of your Chapter, I would recommend switching the Founding to the 26th. However, during this time the concern was about trade agreements, not an absorption of systems into the Tau Empire. So I would have the purpose of your Chapter's initial assignment and placement be not to counter Tau expansion but to provide a very real symbol of Imperial dominance that would both serve to inspire loyalty among these Imperial frontier worlds and a threat to any xenos that would dare think that Mankind would sully itself by entreating with their kind. However, within a few short years of the Chapter taking root, the Imperium discovers the real threat that is the Tau, their expanding empire crossing the Damocles Gulf, leading to a Crusade that would, likely, drag this Chapter up into it. Its earliest histories would be to counter the Tau expansions, but its founding intent is simply to prevent Tau influence, because at the time it is only their influence that the Imperium is seeing. This would, however, decrease your Chapter's age from about three millennia to about three centuries. Still plenty long enough for a Chapter to build up an identity all its own, though.

 

There's not much else for me to comment on as is until I see some more development. I would mention that the differently colored font can sometimes play havoc when being viewed on the mobile site. Especially if you change the default font color to white, as the default automatically switches to black on the mobile site's white skin, but the white font color will remain white, invisible on the mobile site. I would recommend changing the different colors to just bold. On the main site, it's not a big difference when you bold something, but it nonetheless slightly makes what you want to stand out, stand out.

 

When this is more fleshed out, I'll try to add some more feedback. What there is so far seems pretty good.

[Righteousrob]

Thanks for the info on the Tau. I like your ideas and will work to change the founding reasons.

[Olis]

Home World/Homeworld

On the outer edge of the Ultima Segmentum, near the Eastern Fringe, lies the cold ocean world of Meshegan. Within its wind swept islands and roaring seas keep the citizens of Meshegan toil to extract minerals and an abundance of fish for the other 13 planets within the Sub-Sector Vitroa. The Doom Fist Legion recruits from the population of 75 million from those families and individuals who show promise. Deep within the largest mountain lies the fortress monastery Anarba where citizens make pilgrimages to honor and respect their protectors and Angels whom they rarely see. During this time it is not uncommon for families to leave children behind, hoping the Legion will take them and make them Space Marines. More often than not these children die or become serfs rather than a glorious Space Marine

 

Something to bear in mind - Astartes homeworlds are exempt from the tithe normally taken from every planet in the Imperium, so mentioning that the fish feed thirteen other worlds in the sub-sector doesn't quite gel.  

 

 

Combat Doctrine

Being from the Imperial Fist lineage the blood of bolter experts and siege warfare ran deep within all of the Doom Fists. The Codex was an automatic adherence. Being the champions of humanity all Space Marines are the Doom Fists will do what it takes to defend humans. Humans being the key word. The Doom Fists Legion despises any trace of Xeno and go to great lengths to ensure no taint or spread happens in their watch. Such as the Battle of Betteis Pass when the Legion held back a Dark Eldar raiding party and recaptured lost slaves. The Legion could not risk any sort of taint, believing that the slaves had both denounced their humanity when giving up in the face of danger and now having Xeno influence on them, and burned all slaves and traces of the Dark Eldar in the Pass before moving on.

 

Just to point out something - it is 'xenos', rather than 'xeno'.

 

Secondly, there is little in this passage that actually talks of the Chapter's combat doctrine. You do mention the doctrines inherited from the Imperial Fists and that the Chapter follows the codex but besides that it is mostly a recount of a battle. You need to expand on what they do that's already mentioned and I would advocate ditching the part that focuses on the 'Battle of Betteis Pass' as it doesn't serve the intended purpose* (or at least does so in a very roundabout way). Instead, maybe you could talk of the Chapter preferring to conduct 'scorched earth' policies against foes, thus showing how the Chapter attempts to fight the enemies of Man rather than prop them up as wantonly cruel for the sake of it. This way you could theoretically keep the overall intention of them considering a populace as expendable but also in such a way as for it to be kind of indirect.

 

*It does seem a little odd that they are described that they would "do what it takes to defend humans" and then further on in the same passage they are depicted as slaughtering those they 'rescue'. The quoted part needs to change if you intend to keep the Chapter on the path of destroying 'tainted' Imperial citizens as it is clearly a false statement.  

 

 

Gene-seed/Geneseed

Imperial Fists through the Death Strike Legion

 

Battle-cry/Battlecry/Chapter Motto

Those who stay shall be victors

 

Now, these two are interesting. Descendants of the Death Strike Chapter, eh? I like it. I can honestly say I haven't seen that before. Not to taken with the motto, though. Doesn't have a lot of oomph, that. Not really words to die by, are they? Not sure what to suggest otherwise, though. 

 

Hope this helps.

[Delta E.T]

The experts above seem to know what they are talking about

Sorry for the lack of responses, it seems most of the vets are either busy with the Liber challenges, or otherwise away. I come here less often as during this time as well as little activity happens, and less creations are made. A bit of a catch 22 if you ask me.

Regardless, you made a decent start, a bit short and sweet but that's normal. I'll comment on each of your sections.

Origins:

I'll agree with the changing of the founding date if your chapter was made to combat Tau, I'm more of an Ordo Malleus man myself so I can't comment much on that. The choice of Imperial Fists gene-seed is well justified. I'd still expand this section.

Combat Doctrine:

Your combat doctrine seems to be a bit muddled. It starts with their preference of bolters and siege, then a belief of protecting civilians/humans as a priority, and then a small reference to a piece of history. I'd rework this completely but keep all the parts, just put in different pieces. In the opening narrative at the top you mentioned plasma weaponry being a prevalent favorite of the chapter. Why? It's a good weapon as any, but we'd love to see a reasoning for this small piece of lore. Maybe you can connect it to their history. Perhaps they were 'impressed' with the applications that the Tau were using and the chapter pioneered themselves into redeveloping and advancing this mainstay weapon (without being too heretical ).

Organisation:
Short. 3 companies lost, what does this mean? What happens to the organisation? Needs more depth.

Beliefs:
Again very short. Tell us of the disparity between the chapter and its native populace. Do members of the chapter have a hidden faith of the Emperor? Is it brutally suppressed? Tolerated? Possibly even mind-wiped during induction? Lots of room to expand here. I'd also add their tendency to highly value human lives here, and why.

Gene-seed:

Fine. Anything else we wanna add here? How does this relation affect the chapter? It could be minimal, or you could have some mutations etc. I don't know anything about the Death Strike legion, maybe just a quick sum up?

Motto:
Fine. Maybe explain what this means or where it was first used, but the battle-cry is usually the least described aspect, it's usually all together.

Don't be too discouraged, you made a good effort for a first(?) chapter, and the lessons you develop now will help you in the future. Try some of these suggestions and see where this takes you .

[Righteousrob]

Thanks again everyone for the comments, I will be working on it here soon to make the changes. You are right, it says defenders and then they kill...that is confusing.The motto comes from my favorite football team but yes there needs to be a more "Ill kick your brains in!" type motto. I have no idea how to go about getting one. I personally love the plasma weapons in the game and glued a ton of models with them before I ever played a game. So I now have command drop pods full of plasma and captain duel wielding plasma. I am uncertain how to work into why everyone loves plasma so much. What about how they crave warmth as civilizens on the cold world. I dont know honestly so maybe the Tau would work. Thanks again.

[Righteousrob]

I changed some of the background and what not, not the story. Does the founding make sense now?

[Righteousrob]

Chapter Master Harbo slammed his fist into the stone table in the center of The Hall of Voices with a force which would have shattered a mortal man’s arm. Captain Whetilo didn’t flinch; he was used to his leader’s rage, as it is within all sons of Dorn.  “We have received a signal of help from the Sword of Democles system’s astropaths and we will respond.   We will not allow the Xenos to taint another world!” bellowed Harbo. “We will smite those who wish to harm the Emperor’s children, we will cure those who will not fight for themselves and we will purge that which remains!” Whetilo took it all in, the cold concrete walls, the deep navy blue of his brother’s pauldrons, the banners of past glory, all waiting for his moment. “Brother Captain Whetilo, are you and the fifth prepared to honor and glorify our beloved Chapter in this mission?”

 “I am my Lord, I humbly ask to have squads of the 10^th join us. Our neophytes need seasoning if they are to replace our fallen brothers of the 6^th.” The Chapter Master smiled, Whetilo knew he had asked the right question.  If the chapter was to rebuild its strength then the 10^th would need every opportunity to hone their skills. “Of course my Captain, I look forward to you bringing back those worthy of joining our ranks. Say your goodbyes, for some of you will return with the Apothecary.  Faugh a ballagh!”

” Faugh a ballagh!”

Whetilo crossed his arms across his chest in a salute, spun on his heels and left. The Sword of Democles would soon feel the Doom Fists’ glory.

[Righteousrob]

Can someone comment on if the cleaned up version is better now/what needs changed please.

[Anver Cassiel]

Only had a chance to briefly skim over it, but one thing i did notice was the homeworld planet; was there any reason it was chosen in particular? the location of the planet? suitability of recruits? just a small detail but it jumped out at me as most chapters choose homeworlds either due to the harshness of the environment (thus creating good aspirant stock) or the location or even cultural/historical significance ( i think a chapter once took over the homeworld of an extinct chapter it was to replace which may fit your theme?)

 

Ill have another full look over soon but most of what you have has me interested to learn more about the chapter

 

Cassiel

[Righteousrob]

Can someone tell me a chapter that would be very friendly to humans and would look down upon the Doom Fists ways of purging those not worthy of humanity?

[Conn Eremon]

The Salamanders are the go to Chapter for such things.

 

But why not have some fun and make one of your own? Nothing's better than one DIY, except two DIYs. :wink:

[Righteousrob]

Brother Vararrox Mendera’s helmet sat scorched and ruined in the corner of the burned out house, beside his squad mate Azkaerleo Invake. The last of Bravo Squad and as far as Vararrox knew the last remnants of the Doom Fists sent on Operation Blind Truth.  Azkaerleo was busy trying to raise comms with any Imperial Forces in the area while Vararrox couldn’t shake the battle from his memories. It was supposed to be a simple extraction, find the Inquisitor and pull out, only the same fething demons from before had shown their faces.  “I am Lord Kla'Hrek of Khorne's 6th Bloodhost” the former Space Marine bellowed from his massive beast  “I know you are blind to the lies you’ve been told!  I was once blind but Khorne has set me free! Join us brothers! Let us have this lapdog of the false God and join us in serving a true GOD!” Something inside Vararrox had stirred when he the words but like his brothers he dismissed the words and readied his meltagun.

 

Vararrox watched as the Land Raider and Centurion squad fired lascannons and missile launchers into the Lord’s beasts and men, yet they came on like no man could. The damned librarian, in his shining blue terminator suit, surrounded by battle brothers were cut down like wheat in the fields on his left.  Even the Land Raider threw a tread on the rocks, where was the Emperor?  On his right Alpha squad was advancing to some gibbering demons and avoiding the howling dogs. Vararrox had never felt such fear, how could the Emperor allow such monsters in his realm. “He lies, he is false” No one had spoken, Vararrox looked at his squad to see if they had heard it but no one flinched. Where had that come from?  He had no time to think on it before the demon dragon came overhead destroying their rhino with its talons. Vararrox stumbled out of the wreck with Bravo squad as the dragon came back around.  With a sudden woosh of fire, all but two men of Bravo were melted in their suits. Vararrox’s helmet was burnt, all electrical fried on the inside. He scrambled into a bush as the Land Raider knocked Lord Kla’Hrek off his beast, for some reason Vararrox knew his former brother would rise again. How could someone wield such power?  As fast as the Demons had attacked, they stopped.  They had killed the Inquisitor but why had they stopped killing the rest of us?  The hounds stopped short of Alpha Squad, a snarling Juggernaught with blood dripping from is maul, looked him in the eyes and kept walking by. “Do not fear, join us, see his lies” Charlie Squad opened fire, how stupid Vararrox had thought, they sealed their deaths. Vararrox never saw what happened to Charlie as he rushed away from the bloodbath.

 

“Varrarox! Varrarox! Are you ok?”  Azkaerlo shouted, breaking him from his trance. “Yes, I am fine. Why do you think we were not killed in that battle Azkaerlo? Was the Emperor saving us? Why did such a fallen brother wield so much power? Why do we not yield this power?”

“Careful Vararrox, you speak of heresy.  Our escort out of this dump is on its way. Clearly the Emperor favors us and will guide us to ultimate victory. He has deemed it so. “He lies, he believes his lies”  Vararrox could not understand why he believed the voice in his head, truly there is a greater power than the Emperor if one man can defeat a tactical force of Space Marines. “I think the Emperor hides power from us” How those words escaped his mouth hell never know but the face of Azkaerlo told him he had overstepped his teachings. Azkaerlo quickly reached for his bolter but Vararrox had expected this and put a molten mass through Azkaerlo’s chest plate.  He would not be denied the truth by Azkaerlo’s shallow thinking.  Vararrox heard the incoming Stormraven, he would have to tell the heroic story of Azkaerlo falling to his wounds of battle. The Doom Fists would honor all their fallen brothers today, giving glory to the Emperor and his holiness, but Vararrox knew one thing about the Emperor the rest didn’t.

He lies