The Colossi

[Draakur]

Emperor help me, I'm bad at this :p Ok, here I go again!

 

I've got a history of having what I think are 'good ideas' but being bad at linking them together, both because I get far too long-winded and focused on minutiae, and because I run out of steam and get despondent. I've scrapped bits, moved others to other Chapters, and otherwise stream-lined some of my concepts here though and am hoping, with the Liber's help, I can get this off the ground this time and develop a strong working IA. Some of you might remember some of these ideas from a previous thread of mine.

 

I'm hoping for any guidance you fine gents can provide in general on any of this, and also some help on my being too verbose and dragging on. This is a bit choppy right now, some is just stream-of-thought writing.

 

Here is the current, very WIP state of the Chapter I've called the Colossi:

 

++++++++

GENESEED:

The Colossi are possessed of a unique geneseed peculiarity - their Ossmodula organ is fiercely and irreversibly over-active, leading to an ossification of every Colossi's skeletal structure over time. The ribcage is, in every marine, the first area to be effected, over his early years becoming thicker and denser. From here though the process is uncertain and specific to every marine - the ossification spreading outwards into the upper limbs, down through the hips and legs, or even up into the cranium, as the warrior ages.

 

This legacy serves as both a mighty boon, given their role first and foremost as warriors, and as a terrible curse. While in some circumstances allowing a Colossi a measure of durability and resistance to injury even greater than the prolific capabilities of a typical Astartes, the completely random nature of the growth means it quickly becomes painful, dangerous and potentially fatal, as bones encroach on nerves and organs and even grow outwards through flesh. This can come to inhibit marines in various ways.

 

Undecided on gene-line. UM or IF makes the most sense statistically speaking of course.

 

FOUNDING:

Undecided. Had them as Cursed Founding originally but it's not actually necessary I don't think, and I've got another Chapter idea from that founding anyway. I know I don't want them to be super young.

 

HISTORY:

Really unsure how to do this in any way that doesn't seem played and boring. I previously had a 'trial by fire' that sparked the sudden geneseed issues (thinking they weren't apparent from the start) but have abandoned this idea. So no idea how to shape their origins.

 

ORGANISATION:

I see them as venerating big indomitable forces, so Centurions and Dreadnoughts are seen as the very top of the pile. Prefer to keep feet on the ground, not much jump assault. Otherwise still haven't thought about this much.

 

They will, at some point in early history, find they need a lot more Apothecaries - surgery becomes a constant requirement for many marines to cut back bone and control the effects of the Ossmodula growth. It becomes a valued and honoured role amongst the Chapter and they are given more seniority than is typical. Value the concept of physical vitality and Apothecaries involved in much more rigorous testing and regular screening than usual to ensure peek physical state and performance at all times.

 

CULTURE:

The Colossi value the ideals of hardiness, vitality and skill at arms above all.

 

They treat war not just as a way of life, but almost as a sport, always taking any and all opportunities to test their capabilities and expand their skills in war. It is a common practice to invite other Chapters to spar and practise together while on campaign, especially in unarmed wrestling which they see as the greatest expression of fighting skill. After finishing duties on feral or death worlds, a Colossi force will typically stay on to train in their harsh environments or battle new and unknown species of native flora and fauna. While some Chapters would see such behaviour as frivolous and a waste of valuable time, the Colossi see an invaluable opportunity to grow as makers of war.

 

They will engage in periodic tests of feats of strength and endurance, often revolving around their abnormally durable physiques (breaking enormous blocks of ice, bearing the weight of enormous stones on their chests, stuff like this).

 

TRADITIONS

While not given to artistry, contemplation or other esoteric pursuits, seeing such pass-times as largely trivial, the Colossi do hold a deep admiration for great instruments of war. The Chapter upholds a tradition of collecting ancient or finely-crafted weapons and appreciating them for their own sakes - to retrieve such a relic for display in the Chapter's halls is considered an act worthy of much personal glory and celebration.

 

Indeed, it has become customary after a significant campaign for the Colossi to gift an allied force with whom they've fought closely with such a gift. Such shows of appreciation are often followed by alliances that last centuries or more.

 

Great heroes who have passed will have their remains preserved and immortalised in the Hall of Bones, a huge chamber full of the hulking skeletal forms of the Chapter's champions.

 

HOMEWORLD:

I have no idea. I don't think I see them as feral, but I don't think they come from much higher than Iron Age tech level people. They fight for sport and forms of wrestling are a big part of this.

++++++++

 

 

Feedback would be wonderful :)

[Stercus]

I like this. You could use the centurion suits idea as allowing marines to fight on whose exponential bone growth has left them disabled.

[Doctor Perils]

It's interesting to see the whole basis of a chapter in gene-seed mutation.

 

I've got a couple of suggestions : 

• The homeworld is possibly lightly based on Rhodes in hellenistic times, so the inhabitants are probably quite good merchants, something like that. And it still stays in Iron Age times, as you wanted. Then again, the link is probably too evident, but it's your choice.
• Since their called the colossi, their mutation probably makes them grow more than most space marines ?
• Its interesting that you bought up the Apothecaries, because while reading the explanation of the mutation, I was thinking that they'd have a hard time getting to the progenoid gland in the chest. The chapter has probably developed some kind of strengthened Reductor to be able to get through the rib cage ?

I'm interested in seeing the colour scheme and the chapter emblem.

[Olis]

Excellent start, brother. I seem to recall these ideas surfacing in another DIY article. Would that have been yours?

Undecided on gene-line. UM or IF makes the most sense statistically speaking of course.

Perhaps the Ultramarines? It isn't often we find an Ultramarines successor that has problems with their gene-seed. That said, this mutation would seem to be something unique to the Colossi and therefore a hint or an explanation of why the mutation has occurred would be good to see.

HISTORY:
Really unsure how to do this in any way that doesn't seem played and boring. I previously had a 'trial by fire' that sparked the sudden geneseed issues (thinking they weren't apparent from the start) but have abandoned this idea. So no idea how to shape their origins.

How about we apply broad strokes to start with? Think about how the Chapter came across their homeworld, how they fought their first campaigns, how they started to act like they do now. Begin with key words and ideas then perhaps evolve those into sentences and finally paragraphs as you join the dots.

ORGANISATION:
I see them as venerating big indomitable forces, so Centurions and Dreadnoughts are seen as the very top of the pile. Prefer to keep feet on the ground, not much jump assault. Otherwise still haven't thought about this much.

They will, at some point in early history, find they need a lot more Apothecaries - surgery becomes a constant requirement for many marines to cut back bone and control the effects of the Ossmodula growth. It becomes a valued and honoured role amongst the Chapter and they are given more seniority than is typical. Value the concept of physical vitality and Apothecaries involved in much more rigorous testing and regular screening than usual to ensure peek physical state and performance at all times.

I would also suggest holding Terminator suits in high regard - possibly even reverence considering their rarity and many of them being incredibly old. Of course, if they end up revering Terminator suits because of their age and rarity, then that could also extend to certain Chapter relics and heroes. Perhaps they practice some form of ancestor/hero worship instead of the usual secularity most Chapters display.

TRADITIONS
Indeed, it has become customary after a significant campaign for the Colossi to gift an allied force with whom they've fought closely with such a gift. Such shows of appreciation are often followed by alliances that last centuries or more.

This is very generous of them. This does make them sound somewhat 'friendly', I think, although I recommend exploring why this has become a tradition. Is it a custom inherited from their homeworld or is it something that has developed on its own?

[Draakur]

Such speedy responses, thanks folks :) Ok, replies:

I like this. You could use the centurion suits idea as allowing marines to fight on whose exponential bone growth has left them disabled.

Thanks mate :) I've definitely been considering that, yes, and will likely run with it. As far as I'm aware this should work - far as I can tell Centurion suits, rather than being wired into a marine like power armour (and thus needing the marine to actually be mobile to move in it), are just piloted and could therefore be directed despite being disabled, I think? Hoping this works.

It's interesting to see the whole basis of a chapter in gene-seed mutation.

I've got a couple of suggestions :

• The homeworld is possibly lightly based on Rhodes in hellenistic times, so the inhabitants are probably quite good merchants, something like that. And it still stays in Iron Age times, as you wanted. Then again, the link is probably too evident, but it's your choice.
• Since their called the colossi, their mutation probably makes them grow more than most space marines ?
• Its interesting that you bought up the Apothecaries, because while reading the explanation of the mutation, I was thinking that they'd have a hard time getting to the progenoid gland in the chest. The chapter has probably developed some kind of strengthened Reductor to be able to get through the rib cage ?

I'm interested in seeing the colour scheme and the chapter emblem.

Appreciate the reply brother. While you're right, they outstanding idea is their geneseed abnormality right now, I 'm hoping once they're fleshed out it won't be a big over-powering concept and instead balanced out alongside some other characterising elements.

- I know little of Rhodes - looking it up is now on my to-do list. I really like the merchant culture idea, actually! Despite being so war-oriented, I like the idea that they don't come from a completely war-torn, savage background, and being somewhat more civilised.

- I toyed with this at the beginning... but it's dangerous ground. It's been pointed out to me a few times, quite rightly, that marines are already mammoth creatures in their own right, and trying to amp this up even more does kind of reek of "biggest bestest uber-reenz brooo". While I really want to somehow emphasise this sense of enhanced physicality I want, I really can't tell how to go about it (other than the geneseed side of things). This is actually something I could use the most help on, I think.

-Honestly had not thought of this - good point well made. Yes, I imagine they would need augmented Reductors and surgical implements generally.

- I have almost no idea at all on scheme and colours - for some reason I had bronze in my head for a colour, but it's nothing set in stone.

Excellent start, brother. I seem to recall these ideas surfacing in another DIY article. Would that have been yours?

Undecided on gene-line. UM or IF makes the most sense statistically speaking of course.

Perhaps the Ultramarines? It isn't often we find an Ultramarines successor that has problems with their gene-seed. That said, this mutation would seem to be something unique to the Colossi and therefore a hint or an explanation of why the mutation has occurred would be good to see.

HISTORY:
Really unsure how to do this in any way that doesn't seem played and boring. I previously had a 'trial by fire' that sparked the sudden geneseed issues (thinking they weren't apparent from the start) but have abandoned this idea. So no idea how to shape their origins.

How about we apply broad strokes to start with? Think about how the Chapter came across their homeworld, how they fought their first campaigns, how they started to act like they do now. Begin with key words and ideas then perhaps evolve those into sentences and finally paragraphs as you join the dots.

ORGANISATION:
I see them as venerating big indomitable forces, so Centurions and Dreadnoughts are seen as the very top of the pile. Prefer to keep feet on the ground, not much jump assault. Otherwise still haven't thought about this much.

They will, at some point in early history, find they need a lot more Apothecaries - surgery becomes a constant requirement for many marines to cut back bone and control the effects of the Ossmodula growth. It becomes a valued and honoured role amongst the Chapter and they are given more seniority than is typical. Value the concept of physical vitality and Apothecaries involved in much more rigorous testing and regular screening than usual to ensure peek physical state and performance at all times.

I would also suggest holding Terminator suits in high regard - possibly even reverence considering their rarity and many of them being incredibly old. Of course, if they end up revering Terminator suits because of their age and rarity, then that could also extend to certain Chapter relics and heroes. Perhaps they practice some form of ancestor/hero worship instead of the usual secularity most Chapters display.

TRADITIONS
Indeed, it has become customary after a significant campaign for the Colossi to gift an allied force with whom they've fought closely with such a gift. Such shows of appreciation are often followed by alliances that last centuries or more.

This is very generous of them. This does make them sound somewhat 'friendly', I think, although I recommend exploring why this has become a tradition. Is it a custom inherited from their homeworld or is it something that has developed on its own?

Thanks for taking the time, Olis. Yes you would have seen a few of these concepts from me earlier in the year.

- You're right, I need a good reason/basis for the geneseed issue. The Cursed Founding was an easy option, and I may still go with it, but I'm not sure. I may need to have a look through Imperial history and find a good Founding scenario that feels like it fits... this might help me fill out origins more too, helping to decide what their original purpose was. Hmm.

- Homeworld... I'm still drawing blanks :( I'll need to think, I'm open to ideas (I quite like Thorn's). I don't think I see them as being hugely influenced by their homeworld's culture, only partially in smaller ways. I plan to make the Chapter Cult a bigger influence on them. The obsession with physical prowess and vitality will play in here somewhere (The Cult Vitae? Just spitballing).

- I LOVE the ancestor worship idea - I would never have thought of this on my own. I can see this being quite multi-faceted and interesting for them too. Gold.

- The "generosity"/kindness is something I'm trying to feel my way around but don't quite know how to nail down. I see them as hearty and almost jovial to an extent... I'm no fan of the Space Wolves, but I like kind of "good-natured", positive air they sometimes have.

Along with the merchant idea of Thorn's, and their tradition of gifting relics to favoured allies, maybe working a sort of trader/artifact collector angle could be interesting...

Thank you again folks, please, keep it coming :)

[Doctor Perils]

[...] their tradition of gifting relics to favoured allies, maybe working a sort of trader/artifact collector angle could be interesting...

Be careful of not making them too close to Salamanders and/or Black Dragons. The idea is good, but tread carefully with this (as well of course, as the whole size thing )

[Olis]

(The Cult Vitae? Just spitballing).

 

Here's an idea - the latin phrase 'Corpus Callosum' which means 'tough body' could be partially appropriated for the gothic name for the Cult: The Cult Callosum (roughly speaking it is the cult of toughness). Now the actual Latin words for 'tough' and 'toughness' are different to 'callosum' (according to google translate) so this will definitely be a case of rule of cool. It's high gothic! Who cares? :P

[TDF]

If you want a non-standard cause for the geneseed disorder you could try to link it to a ritual of the Chapter. For example, perhaps as part of their ancestor worship they consume the bones of their fallen brothers both as a mark of respect and to absorb the memories of the deceased.

 

According to Lexicanum: A small, complex, tubular organ, the ossmodula secretes hormones that both affect the ossification of the skeleton and encourages the forming bone growths to absorb ceramic-based chemicals that are laced into the Marine's diet. so over-consumption of astartes bones could potentially lead to ossmodula over-stimulation.

[Doctor Perils]

If you want a non-standard cause for the geneseed disorder you could try to link it to a ritual of the Chapter. For example, perhaps as part of their ancestor worship they consume the bones of their fallen brothers both as a mark of respect and to absorb the memories of the deceased.

According to Lexicanum: A small, complex, tubular organ, the ossmodula secretes hormones that both affect the ossification of the skeleton and encourages the forming bone growths to absorb ceramic-based chemicals that are laced into the Marine's diet. so over-consumption of astartes bones could potentially lead to ossmodula over-stimulation.

I like this idea, but on the other hand, surely they would stop once they noticed what it was doing to their bodies ?

Also, its verging on canibalism ...

[Draakur]

Be careful of not making them too close to Salamanders and/or Black Dragons. The idea is good, but tread carefully with this (as well of course, as the whole size thing msn-wink.gif )

Yes, very mindful of not making them like the Sallies. I wasn't aware they had a merchant/artefact-collector slant to them though, have never heard this. Or are we mixing ideas up? I definitely don't want to make the Colossi master smiths or artificers of any sort... I want it to be more of a 'reverence' for great weapons and war relics (extending to space craft, projectile weapons, etc) that they will sometimes seek out and collect, rather than make themselves. The age and 'story' of the weapon would be important in how they view it... this would sit well alongside the ancestor worship too actually :) yay, continuity!

 

I had a brief narrative idea that sometimes Librarians/Chaplains have visions that a war leader should wield a specific relic in their armoury in the coming conflict to ensure victory.

 

Here's an idea - the latin phrase 'Corpus Callosum' which means 'tough body' could be partially appropriated for the gothic name for the Cult: The Cult Callosum (roughly speaking it is the cult of toughness). Now the actual Latin words for 'tough' and 'toughness' are different to 'callosum' (according to google translate) so this will definitely be a case of rule of cool. It's high gothic! Who cares? :P

Agreed - in the grim darkness of the far future, there is only grammatical and lexicographical ambiguity :p I dig this, need to keep moving in this direction. Not sure the Cult Collosum is exactly the name I want, but I do really like it. Other options? I think I want to swing the name in more of a 'life force' and kind of thriving health/physical capacity direction than just straight toughness. Tangent, the Corpus Collosum is the central bridging section between the brain hemispheres, isn't it? *trying to remember cognitive biology from uni*

 

Actually, maybe one of their big feat of strength competitions could be the Something Collosum!

If you want a non-standard cause for the geneseed disorder you could try to link it to a ritual of the Chapter. For example, perhaps as part of their ancestor worship they consume the bones of their fallen brothers both as a mark of respect and to absorb the memories of the deceased.

 

According to Lexicanum: A small, complex, tubular organ, the ossmodula secretes hormones that both affect the ossification of the skeleton and encourages the forming bone growths to absorb ceramic-based chemicals that are laced into the Marine's diet. so over-consumption of astartes bones could potentially lead to ossmodula over-stimulation.

Appreciate your time, TDF. I actually like this concept - so much so that I'm already using something close to it in another project lol :) Definitely approve, there's some great imagery there, just not planning for these guys to be quite as morbid - that will be my Doomkin and Red Reapers ;) Thanks though, would love your thoughts on any of the other stuff I'm struggling with.

 

Such useful ideas so far everyone, if you've got more keep it coming! Ive got some time today to look into the Foundings and accordingly an origins/primary purpose idea, hopefully I'll have more for you all to work with on that front by tonight.

[Draakur]

Did some of the comments in here get deleted..? Or am I imagining things?

[Olis]

Server crash. We lost 24 hours of posts. I believe there may have been some posts lost from this thread, yes.