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What about the others? What do the mortals feel/think when they are in their presence? How about Icarion, Athrawes?

 

Those around K'awil feel the 'normal' discomfort that is associated with being around a Pariah, but over that comes a sense of dread for he gives off the aura of a wild beast kept captive and ready to lash out. If any can bring themselves to look into his eyes they see nothing that they can relate to, for he is completely lacking in sympathy, empathy or any social mores. You feel yourself being weighed  and judged based on your level of threat, you are either predator or prey and he is uncaring about the result, but if you are judged to his disliking he will act without hesitation or mercy. (Basically the ultimate psychopath.)

There's a Raktra portrait (obviously), but no other artwork for the 'serkers yet. As for aura... I'm not sure how to put it. The man literally sees through you, he can see every last minor weakness your biology holds, so I guess, mixed in with his general attitude, contempt/dismissal verging on indifference? I'm bad with emotions.

There's a Raktra portrait (obviously), but no other artwork for the 'serkers yet. As for aura... I'm not sure how to put it. The man literally sees through you, he can see every last minor weakness your biology holds, so I guess, mixed in with his general attitude, contempt/dismissal verging on indifference? I'm bad with emotions.

I'd have thought something close to Kurze or Mortarion.

If...

Captain Ptolomeos of the Halycon Wardens looked out over the vast, sprawling mass of buildings that was Triumph City. At its centre was the vast marble mountain that rose up from amidst the flat earth where the Emperor had stood when he'd declared his intention to leave the Great Crusade and his decision to declare Alexandros as his succesor. It was around this giant structure that all else in the city was built. In front of it, was the main square, with its enormous fountain. Thr fountain was in and of itself a work of art, with it being an enormous pool of water drawn from Qarith Prime's ocean and at its centre was a 10 metre tall bronze statue of the Warmaster, his spear pointing towards the sky as he rested his left hand upon his shield, with the fountain of water coming from his feet. The statue never failed to amuse Ptolomeos. It spoke of conquest and glory. Two sentiments less likely to be shared by the Warmaster Ptolomeos couldn't imagine.

 

Spreading out like a spiders web across the rest of the city from the fountain and square were the streets, with houses of gleaming marble and stone on either side of the road. The city was divided into 20 districts, each one following the same structured, ordered lay out, each one centred around a fountain and statue of one of the Emperor's sons. It was within these streets and around the fountains that Triumph City's thirty million inhabitants lived, supplied with water via aqueducts leading from water refineries, food from the surrounding country and work from the enormous crystal and adamantium mines that existed on Qarith Prime. Yet in spite of all of this, the city had another, more important task, the task for which the city had initially been built by Niklaas and the Fire Keepers.

 

That purpose was the enormous black marble tower on top of the mountain of white marble on which the primarch of the V had first been declared Warmaster. Known to the city's inhabitants and the Halycon Wardens who protected it as "the Beacon" the enormous structure served to project the Astronomicon outwards. As the Great Crusade had progressed, stretching further and further away from Terra, the Emperor had foreseen that, eventually, it would begin to run beyond the range of the Astronomicon. So, in the years immediately after the Qarith Triumph, he had built a series of Beacons on strategically placed worlds. Each of these beacons amplified the Astronomicon and contained a choir of pyskers to focus this amplified beam pf psychic energy. Scattered across the Imperium, these beacons had allowed the Great Crusade to spread further out from Terra faster than it would have been able to otherwise and, while the present beacons were relatively crude, they might, had events come to.pass differently, have obliterated the need for Astropaths and such a large choir on Terra.

 

Steeling himself, Ptolomeos looked up from the city to the sky from the Dawn Wall where he was standing. Events hadn't turned out differently and now, the Lightning Bearers were coming to sieze this world. Looking up at the burning sky, Ptolomeos tightened his grip on his bolter. It wouldn't be long now.

Nitpicks first:

"In front of it, was the main square, with its enormous fountain." No commas necessary.

"...fountain. Thr fountain..." Improper spelling of 'the'

It should be 18, not 20 districts. 

"... to.pass..." Replace period with a space

Also, by this point, I think the Lightning Bearers would be known by their new name 'Harbingers'.

 

Positives second:

I love this piece! You managed to capture both the Warden's attitude and the shining future the Imperium had before Icarion went rogue. And the Beacon idea is brilliant. It's such a simple idea in principle, but it has large implications about the future. This has actually generated a couple of ideas that I'd like to explore. 

Ok I am jumping ahead a bit I know because the primary focus at the moment is Book 1. But I have a question.

 

The Ghost Walkers ambush the Fire Keepers. Could it go down like this?

 

Ghost show up at the appointed world. The Fire Keepers are supposed to be engaged in a bloody compliance. The Ghost intend to gut the FK fleet and then destroy the forces on the planet.

 

Problem. The Ghosts strike but the FKs haven't deployed planet side yet. Turns into a big nasty space battle that ends in a draw and both sides fall back to regroup. More battles follow, maybe.

 

Thoughts?

Negotiations can be difficult...

Alexandros sipped the goblet of wine had been given and looked around him. The chamber he was at present seated in was an odd one. Built upon Terra, it was the Interex's main point of communication with the Imperium, an embassy of sorts, and so represented a strange melding of the two cultures. While the architecture was, in most respects, Imperial, with a high, vaulted roof it lacked the sharp edges of most Imperial buildings, instead being more fluid and smooth. Where in an Imperial building the walls would have been decorated with scenes from the Great Crusade, here the walls had gold filigree etched into them, the letters forming long verses from a book possessed by the Interex on 'Kaos' as they called it, the warp. While it regarded the warp as a living being, which went against all the Imperium's teachings, Alexandros was willing to tolerate it provided the Interex stayed loyal to the Imperium.

 

"Something interests you?" asked Arax Thel, the Interex ambassador, his speech accompanied by the strange sound of the meturge players. Shaking his head, Alexandros replied "No more than is usual Ambassador. I am simply glad that our two empires could come to an agreement whereby you could be assimilated yet keep your culture, for it is unique and has much to offer the rest of mankind". Thel nodded, looking out from the table he was seated at over the vast, sprawling gardens of the embassy "I too am glad that such an agreement could be reached. We of the Interex are happy to be part of the new golden age your Emperor has brought to mankind". Sipping his wine once more, Alexandros prepared to give voice to the reason why he had come. "That he has" he said, a small smile spreading across his features as he saw the sky of Terra turning its usual reddish gold as the sun went down "However, in order to maintain this golden age and the peace needed for it to thrive, armed force is sometimes needed, as I'm sure you know. Whilst some xenos can be reasoned with, many like the orks, hrud and megarachnids cannot. For cases such as these, armed force is, regretably needed". This time the Interex ambassador did not respond, simply sipping his wine and nodding for Alexandros to continue. Drawing a deep breath, more out of habit than actual need, Alexandros spoke again "Because of this regrettable necessity, many of the Imperium's worlds must supply troops for the Imperial Army as the Adeptus Astartes cannot be everywhere at all times". Raising an eyebrow, Thel asked "You wish the Interex to supply troops to fight under the command of Imperial Generals in Imperial wars?". "You have been part of the Imperium for nearly a decade. Surely that is enough time for your people to have intergrated sufficiently to see the need?" replied Alexandros. Thel shook his head and said "These wars you speak of do not effect the Interex. They are fought incalculable miles away, yet you wish men and women of the Interex and members of the Interex to die in them?". Alexandros nodded and said "In effect yes. It would not be right or just for the remainder of the Imperium to bear the cost of unity alone while the Interex reap and equal share of the rewards, nor would it be just for any world to be free of the obligation aid unity. Yet we would not require the troops supplied by the Interex to serve as a regular part of the Imperial Army. They would be in seperate battalions led by Interex military leaders rather than Terrans and they would be allowed to use their own armour and weaponry rather than any supplied by the Imperium, as the Istvaanian Guards or Barbaran Ironsides are allowed to. The Interex would not even be required to send a huge number of men, only around 10,000 or less a year". Thel sipped his wine again and said "You ask much Warmaster. I shall need to present your proposal to the kinebrach patriarch and the council before I can say with any certainty if we agree to this". Alexandros nodded, resisting, for the sake of good relations, the urge to tell Thel the truth, that this wasn't a request but a politely phrased order.

Not gonna lie, Sig, this is a weaker piece than usual. The Interex come off as as naive here. In canon, while they avoided bloodshed where they could, they were more than willing to fight when the situation called for it. They were also interested in re-connecting with humanity, and more than willing to fight against Chaos where they could, so I could see them serving in highly specialized roles for liberation and anti-witch operations. Lastly, I'd think that the eventual mobilization would be part of the original agreement between the Imperium and Interex, just with a timed delay.

 

EDIT: Let me add some positives. I like the room, the blending of both cultures. It's a nice, symbolic representation of how both the Imperium and Interex have bent their own rules to allow for peaceful cooperation. And I like the ambassador's name. 

Edited by simison

The golden age remark is a little on-the-nose, especially from a culture who are arguably more sophisticated. Judging from Horus Rising, they'd see it as a chance to share their culture as much as a chance to gain anything.

 

Part of me feels we should also have at least one Primarch (probably Alex) argue with the Emperor about the years of omissions. Whether that argument should extend to a guess about the Ghost Crusade, I'm not so sure.

When it's using the word in place of the primarch in question's name then yes. So, for example, if a Crimson Lion was referring to Hec as the Primarch rather than Hectarion then yes. 

 

If not then no

 

Thank you.

 

Sorry, I'm getting waffly these days. All that time he kept Chaos a secret from them.

 

Well, Chaos gods. The Imperium is well aware of Chaos and daemons.

Yes. Unlike in canon, the Emperor has given a basic disclaimer that the Warp is host to Enslavers and various Warp creatures that call themselves 'daemons'. According to the Emperor, they are extremely dangerous, not only for the damage they can physically do but also for the sheer amount of deception they engage in. All legions have standing orders to destroy sites that attempt to summon these Warp creatures and eliminate any manifestations. Anything a 'daemon' might say is to be treated as pure fiction and ignored. Any verified truth spoken by them is to be labeled as a lucky guess.

 

EDIT: The punishment for intentional interaction with 'daemons' (beyond combat) is death.

 

What he hasn't explained is anything about the Chaos pantheon and the much deeper truths about Chaos. 

 

The idea is that he's provided a vaccine, a little information to inoculate against the more dangerous stuff. The only exceptions to this blackout of information is Icarion and the Lightning Bearers, pre-Insurrection.

Edited by simison

OK. How much of that deeper truth will Alex get from the Interex?

 

That's a very good question. It's especially interesting because this would occur well after he's adapted to being Warmaster. It depends on whether or not the Emperor informed him of the Lightning Bearers' secret mission to be the anti-Chaos force. Either Alex was given the complete information or he was given a vague 'Icarion has special privileges' lecture, which, to be honest, I don't think has actually been established yet. 

 

So, on the chance that Alex wasn't informed, the question becomes of how much do the Interex actually know. I'm not sure we get a full description of what the book contains. 

 

But, let's say they are able to give Alex a full warning. At worst, Alex is now vaguely annoyed at being kept out of the loop but probably has more respect for Icarion's mission. At best, he takes it in stride. 

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