The New Order

[dusara217]

Just some basic info:
The New Order basically started as a squad of Fallen who popped out of the Warp together, and got picked up by a Rogue Trader as bodyguards after butchering their way through a Chaos Cult which had been growing in influence on a small Civilized World. Their leader eventually managed to get his hands on the Rogue Trader's Warrant of Trade, and used the Dynasty's resources to found the New Order. They came out alongside an Apothecary, so they were able to remove their secondary progenoid glands to slowly begin building up the numbers of Astartes in the New Order.

Gene-seed is a seriously rare resource for them, since they only had 8 Astartes to begin with, most of the members of the Order become Knights (basically, Scions) after completing training, with some of the best equipment that can be provided to them. The most exceptional of these Knights (talking about the top 2% or so) are chosen to join the Paladins (Astartes), and receive further training and genetic enhancement. Those who can't be trained from childhood form the rank-and-file of the New Order's military (sort of like half-members of the Order, called Yeomen), since the New Order is composed primarily of men and women rescued from worlds that have been shattered by Chaos incursions, and thus few are going to be young enough to become Knights (erryone else is basically IG).

 

Anyways, onto the Index!

 

Foundation:

After several decades serving the dwindling House of Amigthel, the Fallen Angels' leader, Gaz-diel, managed to convince the Dynasty's final scion to name him heir to the Dynasty. After securing the Warrant of Trade, which came with the condition of putting down any religious Cults in the Sector, though most members of the Dynasty chose to interpret that as "non-Ecclesiarchy" Cults, Gazardiel set about reinstituting the Order, whose principles his former heroes, the Lion and Luther, had so spectacularly failed to uphold.

 

Using the resources available to him as a Rogue Trader, Gazardiel went about setting up an intricate network of spies within the Sector he was responsible for protection (might make this into a sub-sector instead). Using these spies, he was able to protect this Sector from anti-Imperial revolts to an uncanny degree. Gazardiel also used his influence as a Rogue Trader to create highly profitable trade routes across the Sector; doing his best to create thriving economies all across his region of space. Due to the age in which Gazardiel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy, and thus had no problem with establishing mining operations and the like in conjunction with certain Xenos species. Thus he has acquired huge amounts of resources for himself via shrewd negotiations and intelligent use of his rights as a Rogue Trader.

 

During this time, Gazardiel also made a habit of frequently sending agents to orphanages across innumerable planets to recruit children into his private army. Trained from a young age, these children would eventually become Knights of the New Order.

 

Dawn of the Order:
Once more than twenty thousand Knights had been amassed, Gazardiel lead them into battle on a Hive World that was in the process of being conquered by a powerful Demagogue of Chaos, known as Asmodius. The beleaguered PDF forces of this world's Hive Primus looked into the sky as screaming Valkyries hurtled over the Hive; dropping tens of thousands of well-equipped warriors behind the hordes of Heretics in the process of storming the Hive. As this occurred, assault landers landed thousands more light tanks and improvised battle vehicles. As the defenders watched the walls of ordnance and hot-shot laser fire spewing from the weaponry of the Knights, Gazardiel's voice sounded crystal-clear through every working Vox within the Hive,"This is Gazardiel of the New Order, calling all faithful of the Emperor to step forward and crush these weaklings beneath their boots. The Emperor calls upon you to defend you families! Any who is possessed of a weapon and the faith to use it, let him step forward to cast these blasphemers from your homes!" With that, the PDF manning the fortifications and millions of men and women surged forward to destroy the host assembled before them.

As the well-disciplined fire of the Knights cut down swathes of Cultists, wave after wave crashed into the rear of Asmoduis's forces; destroying them utterly. The civilian losses that day were staggering, but the victory was absolute. And, although the war upon that world was ultimately lost, due to the Traitors' overwhelming numerical superiority in virtually all other Hives upon the world, hundreds of thousands of recruits for the New Order were acquired in that war; enough to kickstart the Order's operations across dozens of Sectors of the Segmentum Obscurus. In the millenia that have followed, the New Order has grown to encompass two Chapters around the Eye of Terror, one near the Maelstrom of the Ultima Segmentum, and one near the Storms of Vengeance of the Segmentum Tempestus. With each passing century, the New Order grows ever stronger; sending its elite forces forward to combat the omnipresent threat of Chaos.

 

Organization:
The New Order is organized into 4 Chapters, currently, though more will be founded whenever the New Order has sufficient power to do so. The Grand Master is the head of the Order in its entirety, with each Chapter having a Chapter Master at its head. Each Chapter each fields several Brigades of Knights, each Brigade containing anywhere from 5 to ten thousand Knights, and many more Brigades of Yeomen, each composed of twenty to thirty thousand soldiers. Each Chapter is also responsible for maintaining the Sub-Sector wherein it is situated; maintaining stability in the region via alliances with interior factions and military application of force. The enforced peace within the Sub-Sector allows the Chapter to recruit from many said Sub-Sector's worlds.

 

Whenever a Grand Master dies, the Chapter Masters form a Grand Council to elect a new one, and the Chapter Masters are chosen in a similar manner by the Admirals under their command. Astartes are organized into multiple Fleets tasked with pacifying any and all rebellions that are Chaotic in origin. Every fleet is commanded by an Admiral (always an Astartes) who is appointed by the Chapter Master. The unit of the Ravenwing is, of course, preserved in the New Order, as a fighting unit of the original Order, and remains a corps of Veteran Space Marines specializing in rapid attack warfare on jetbikes (standard bikes are considered to be too slow to allow for the Ravenwing to redeploy swiftly enough to be in the precise location necessary to turn the tide of battle).

 

EDIT: currently rewriting certain sections of the article. Decided upon a name for the initial Grand Master of the New Order.

Thanks for all of the great feedback, guys!

[Olis]

I'll focus on one half of the article for now:
 

The New Order[...] 

 

*snip*
 
Anyways, onto the Index!

 
Sounds like a good way to represent them would be the Tyrant's Legion... :wink:
 

the Fallen Angels' leader (I've been debating with myself on this one, whether or not to run with Zahariel, a Librarian from the HH series, or a custom leader)

Custom. Go with the custom character. Using a named canon character for your article runs the danger of being invalidated by further canon developments whereas a custom character can form-fit your own purpose. A named character is also a name-drop. These give false credence to articles, and as such I advise you to steer clear of this option.
 

managed to convince the Dynasty's final scion to name him heir to the Dynasty.

I get the feeling heirs to Rogue Trader Warrants are usually supposed to be hereditary - is there any explanation to offer getting around this if it is true?
 

After securing the Warrant of Trade, which came with the condition of putting down any religious Cults in the Sector,

Come to think of it... does your leader use a human proxy for official meetings with the Imperial hierarchy? It would strike me as odd if he attended those meetings himself as a Rogue Trader... 
 

Using the resources available to him as a Rogue Trader, Zahariel went about setting up an intricate network of spies within the Sector he was responsible for protection (might make this into a sub-sector instead).

I would suggest saying that this spy network was set up under the guise of a trade network or something as writing that he simply set up a network of spies sounds a bit... lacking in detail.
 

Using these spies, he was able to protect this Sector from anti-Imperial revolts to an uncanny degree.

In this part, your leader sounds surprisingly good at what he does. Good enough to invite scrutiny... I think this bit needs to be reworded. He doesn't need to do it to an "uncanny degree" and I would suspect he might end up on the Inquisition's radar even if he was careful. He has his fingers in a lot of pots atm with his network of spies and personal army so I think it would better serve matters if he tried tipping off the authorities rather than deal with things directly.
 

Zahariel also used his influence as a Rogue Trader to create highly profitable trade routes across the Sector; doing his best to create thriving economies all across his region of space. Due to the age in which Zahariel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy, and thus had no problem with establishing mining operations and the like in conjunction with certain Xenos species. Thus he has acquired huge amounts of resources for himself via shrewd negotiations and intelligent use of his rights as a Rogue Trader.

I reckon you could probably say more with less words, brother. Your leader "took advantage of monopolies, market fluctuations and export loopholes. He even consorted with Xenos, sure in his reasoning that his Warrant gave him diplomatic immunity." Just a suggestion. :)

Hope that helps.

[Atia]

How shall I say it. I think a DIY project is very similiar to a RPG character. To use very oversubscribed words - you don't want an "undead drake emperor who can turns himself into an half-elf" as character for your RPG's.

Same can be said here - I wouldn't do fallen angels who are also rogue traders, similiar to the tyrants legion and are probably lead by Cypher himself as DIY project tbh.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to kill your fun or so, but sometimes less is more . Maybe a chapter that has bonds with a rogue trader could work. Or a Fallen Angel that infiltrated a RT house (but only one, and not Zahariel Cypher). Something less obvious special, but still special, if you know what i mean ?

Edit:

Due to the age in which Zahariel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy

Xenos were the main arch enemy of the Great Crusade.

[dusara217]

How shall I say it. I think a DIY project is very similiar to a RPG character. To use very oversubscribed words - you don't want an "undead drake emperor who can turns himself into an half-elf" as character for your RPG's.

Same can be said here - I wouldn't do fallen angels who are also rogue traders, similiar to the tyrants legion and are probably lead by Cypher himself as DIY project tbh.

Don't get me wrong, I don't want to kill your fun or so, but sometimes less is more . Maybe a chapter that has bonds with a rogue trader could work. Or a Fallen Angel that infiltrated a RT house (but only one, and not Zahariel Cypher). Something less obvious special, but still special, if you know what i mean ?

Edit:

Due to the age in which Zahariel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy

Xenos were the main arch enemy of the Great Crusade.

The idea was that Fallen Angels come out of the time travel shenanigans that happened during Caliban's fall, and decide they want to recreate the Order, and its struggle to defend mankind against the "great beasts", whom they now understand to be Daemons. In addition to this, the Imperium of Man was originally willing to work with Xenos, to a certain extent, during the Great Crusade. This is evidenced by the fact that Imperial administrators wanted to make the Laer a protectorate of the Imperium rather than go to the effort of exterminating them (In Fulgrim), which would have had a huge death toll for the humans. In addition to this, Horus was originally willing to work with the Kinebranch, an alien species allied to another human empire, right up until the point that it became impossible to do so. Therefore, Xenos in general were not considered to be an archenemy during the Great Crusade; merely an obstacle to be overcome to bring humanity to supremacy.

Also, I was using Zahariel because he's the first name that came to mind, and I didn't really feel like coming up with a name at the time that I wrote this, which is something that is easily rectifiable. Besides, by the 41st millenium, the founder of the New Order would have been long dead; just a name in a history book. I figured that a dying Rogue Trader dynasty would give the founding members of the New Order the resources necessary to actually found the New Order, and would have allowed them to do so without violating the principles they were founding the New Order upon in the first place (only other way that I can think of is them resorting to piracy, which wouldn't do for obvious reasons).

EDIT:

@ Olis

Also, while Rogue Trader dynasties are ordinarily hereditary, there is historical precedence for nobles to name their heirs, and heroic deeds have been known to make people capable of joining the Imperial nobility (for example, a hero in the Imperial Guard being rewarded for his decades of proud service with a planet).

As previously stated, the leader is intended to be more of a name in the history books, and less of a hero I want to represent on the tabletop. I figured things like human proxies would just be wasted space in an IA-type article like this.

EDIT #2: An army is an easy thing to hide, in the grand scheme of things, considering the fact that the Imperium controls 1% of 1% of the galaxy's planets. So long as the founding members layed low for the first few years, building up their numbers, the Inquisition would have no reason to investigate in the first place. Once well-established, they could easily move to eliminate Chaotic threats independently of the Imperium's bureaucracy, and likely more effectively than Space Marine Chapters could (larger numbers, and all that).

The spy network wouldn't be something that the founding members would be using to coordinate massive assaults on Chaos Cults and the like right off the bat, it would be used as much to alert contacts within the local (Sector/Sub-Sector) governments of burgeoning threats.

[Arkangilos]

so a few things... I feel like if they are fallen, they cant be static. Remember the DA hunt for these guys, and just a rumor will see them gone. On top of that, a force that significant will draw scrutiny, and the imperium does not forget tithes, including geneseed. 

 

An important question is why do they need to be fallen? You can accomplish the same goal by making them the remnants of a post second founding chapter that had no where else to go and so teamed up with a RT dynasty. Rather than overlap Space Marine and RT realms, the RT promised to help sustain the gene line, in return the chapter master would act as the chief of the RT military forces. Therefore, the survivors took the title paladins, and the chapter master became the grandmaster of the RT's military order. Then you can also show the interaction between the RT, the Grandmaster, paladins, and younger. You also wont fall into the boring mary sue OP  trap. Of course these are just suggestions, but i find it hard to really believe this could happen.

 

The important questions to ask are why and how.

[dusara217]

so a few things... I feel like if they are fallen, they cant be static. Remember the DA hunt for these guys, and just a rumor will see them gone. On top of that, a force that significant will draw scrutiny, and the imperium does not forget tithes, including geneseed. 

 

An important question is why do they need to be fallen? You can accomplish the same goal by making them the remnants of a post second founding chapter that had no where else to go and so teamed up with a RT dynasty. Rather than overlap Space Marine and RT realms, the RT promised to help sustain the gene line, in return the chapter master would act as the chief of the RT military forces. Therefore, the survivors took the title paladins, and the chapter master became the grandmaster of the RT's military order. Then you can also show the interaction between the RT, the Grandmaster, paladins, and younger. You also wont fall into the boring mary sue OP  trap. Of course these are just suggestions, but i find it hard to really believe this could happen.

 

The important questions to ask are why and how.

Each Chapter is meant to be fleet-based (Admirals hold an equivalent rank to Company Master/Wolf Lord/Captain), I probably should have included that in the organization section, I'll fix that. 

 

Additionally, I thought the idea of a group of Fallen trying to reinstitute the Order would be cool, though I should probably scale it down; 4 Chapters do seem to be a little excessive, so I'll fix that too.

 

EDIT: I think that I might make it so that, instead of a Rogue Trader, they were picked up by an Inquisitor who just thought they were the last Astartes of a dying Chapter. He wants to exterminatus a world, they say no, since allowing him to do so would violate their oaths, they kill him and commandeer his ship. They flee the area, start picking up some mortal followers, and their leader decides to found the New Order. Would this be a little bit better? I think that this would be more likely since the Inquisition Codex directly states that there are so many threats in the galaxy that a single Inquisitor won't be missed, or something along those lines.

[SickSix]

Due to the age in which Gazardiel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy, and thus had no problem with establishing mining operations and the like in conjunction with certain Xenos species.

In what age would a space marine not consider Xenos a threat, something to be immediately put down? If we are talking original Fallen, they were fighting during the Great Crusade which was all about killing Xenos. This part just confused me a bit. I can buy a fallen conspiring with Xenos, I just think it needs a different explanation.

 

Also, you may want to consider how The New Order is avoiding scrutiny of the Dark Angels. These guys aren't exactly hiding, they are building a multiple world empire. How are they avoiding Imperial Scrutiny?

 

The Eye of Terror is not rural space. It's a pretty hot region. How are they interacting with other Imperial forces?

 

Just some things you may want to consider fleshing out. And the timeline. If these fallen pop out in like M32-M34 then all this is very likely to occur without much notice from the Empire proper.

 

Saying all that, I actually do like the idea you have of only 8 astartes struggling to survive and becoming/joining a Rogue Trader.

[dusara217]

 

Due to the age in which Gazardiel was born, he had never really seen Xenos as a sort of arch-enemy, and thus had no problem with establishing mining operations and the like in conjunction with certain Xenos species.

In what age would a space marine not consider Xenos a threat, something to be immediately put down? If we are talking original Fallen, they were fighting during the Great Crusade which was all about killing Xenos. This part just confused me a bit. I can buy a fallen conspiring with Xenos, I just think it needs a different explanation.

 

Also, you may want to consider how The New Order is avoiding scrutiny of the Dark Angels. These guys aren't exactly hiding, they are building a multiple world empire. How are they avoiding Imperial Scrutiny?

 

The Eye of Terror is not rural space. It's a pretty hot region. How are they interacting with other Imperial forces?

 

Just some things you may want to consider fleshing out. And the timeline. If these fallen pop out in like M32-M34 then all this is very likely to occur without much notice from the Empire proper.

 

Saying all that, I actually do like the idea you have of only 8 astartes struggling to survive and becoming/joining a Rogue Trader.

 

Copy pasta time: "the Imperium of Man was originally willing to work with Xenos, to a certain extent, during the Great Crusade. This is evidenced by the fact that Imperial administrators wanted to make the Laer[, a Xenos species,]a protectorate of the Imperium rather than go to the effort of exterminating them (In Fulgrim), which would have had a huge death toll for the humans. In addition to this, Horus was originally willing to work with the Kinebranch, an alien species allied to another human empire, right up until the point that it became impossible to do so. [The Imperium was willing to form diplomatic relations with aliens], therefore, Xenos in general were not considered to be an archenemy during the Great Crusade; merely an obstacle to be overcome to bring humanity to supremacy."

 

Also, I was thinking that the New Order would be fleet-based, specifically to avoid the Unforgiven. I'll probably make it involve some kind of encounter that saw the Dark Angels raze a newly built fortress of the New Order; devastating the Order and forcing it to remain ever mobile. Of course, these kinds of stories are probably going to be covered once I get the Legion completely nailed down.

 

Good point on the Eye of Terror, I'll have to write a short story or two to cover this. 

 

I was thinking that the Fallen would have popped out of the Warp in between M34-M36. This way, they would have had a few thousand years of development, and I might be able to use the Reign of Blood for their foundation.

[Atia]

I really think you should consider to change some of it. I can see what you want to achieve, but it really reads a bit like you are trying to create "main players". From what I read, you are using the following main ideas for your DIY chapter(s):

 

- Fallen Dark Angels, who are loyal to the Emperor, and are fans of both Johnson and Luther

- Rogue Trader Dynasty, who is commanded by a Space Marine

- A whole (sub) sector under the influance of that Chapter

- Legion rebuilding ala Astral Claws (note: this, especially paired with the Fallen part, will mark the doom of the chapter(s) sooner or later - I just say Badab War.). Four Chapters basically under the command of one.

- Space Marine chapters who have direct command over Imperial Guard (or it's equivalent). Permanently. 

- Xenos allies

- Spy network

- non Codex Astartes chapter with unique structure

 

I don't want to be a meany, but I honestly think that's too much. Maybe you should focus on one, or two points from that list?