Imperialis Primos

[Runesfuer]

Imperialis Primos (Imperium First)

Unknown Founding

Unknown Progenitor (believed to be Salamanders)

No Descendants Known

Homeworld:

Veedes, Tullic System, Subsector Ignoxus, Segmentum Ultima

Loyalist

 

Homeworld:

Veedes is an icy death world, in the northern stretches, there are several large warm blooded reptiles, similar to dragons, the smallest of which eat the chemical-laden ice found on the planet, these reptiles provide food, shelter, and protection to 7 of the 8 on the planet. The 8th tribe are outcast, and are only found in the planetary capital.

The planet was inhabited because the ice of the planet is heavy with the minerals and chemicals required for the production of promethium.

 

History:

Chapter History:

As a chapter from an unknown founding, it is nearly impossible to know the true age of the chapter, however, what is known is that the chapter has gone through a reformation, shortly after a chapter-wide decimation, which reduced the chapter to only a single companies worth of marines. After this reformation, the chapter was structured to follow the precedence set by their helpers, the Salamanders, with 7 companies of 120 marines each, and a similar recruiting method, with each recruit becoming the apprentice of a marine, sometimes, due to the clannish nature of the homeworld, being taught by a family member, as familial bonds within the chapter are not unheard of, usually cousins, but brothers, or even sons, being possible.

 

Relic Masters:

In the early years of the Chapter, it was decided that the chapter would have a Relic Master, a Marine with the sole purpose of maintaining and rescuing all relics of the chapter. In the earliest years, the chapter had a total of Five Relic Masters, one of whom was a dreadnought. Each member was equipped with relics, each with armor and weapons that would make Veterans jealous. After the Decimation, The number was reduced to a single Relic Master, the first Techmarine of the group, and the sole survivor of the group. After that point, any relics that are collected are given to those he deems worthy, each Relic master having near total control of all relics used by the Chapter, with the ability to remove the relics used by the Chapter master from his possession. The Relic Master also has the abilty of forming a squad to complement his own combat abilities in the reclimation of a relic.

A Relic Master may hold any rank within the Forge, up to an including Forge Lord.

There is only one active Relic Master, however, that does not mean that a relic master must die. He may relinquish his title after the next relic master has received his training. However, a relic master may refuse to relinquish his title, and continue to serve the chapter as the relic master. If a relic master retires, they relinquish tile, and the Name Hephaestus, and return to the forge. Because of the nature of the position, and their ability to refuse retirement, some potential relic masters never become a relic master. If the current relic master dies before his replacement can be found and trained, if the former relic master retires, he will step in and take his place until the next one is trained.

 

Deathwatch Guardians:

When the Chapter was founded, it was decided that the chapter would follow the original method of Recruitment for the Deathwatch, with Marines being trained specifically for that purpose, and held to standards greater than that of the Chapter master, allowing the Chapter to produce marines worthy of the Deathwatch. Each Deathwatch Guardian is considered a veteran sergeant, with a maximum of 20 Deathwatch Guardians in all, one of whom is treated as a captain. 10 Marines are scout sergeants, giving them the best chance of identifying potential Deathwatch recruits. Each Deathwatch recruit is trained specifically for the Deathwatch Guardians, and receive a specialized training regimen. Of the 60 recruits deemed worthy, only four will accent to the ranks of Deathwatch Guardian. (Note, all Deathwatch Guardians are Veteran Sergeants, but not all veteran sergeants are Deathwatch Guardians) The Deathwatch Guardian Captain, whom is still considered a Veteran Sargeant, despite holding a captaincy within the chapter as a whole, is capable of forming a specialized Kill team, as are all Deathwatch Guardians, and the ability to directy petition a request for a specific relic.

 

Pyre Guardians:

A relatively new order, the Pyre Guardians are Librarians, and keepers of the Eternal Flames (unrelated to Vulkans Relic of similar name). Where the Relic Master collects the Relics, it is the Pyre Guardians who locate it, reading the Eternal Flames, and interpreting the cryptic messages to locate potential relics.

 

Eternal Flame:

The Eternal Flame is a holy Tome, recorded within are the potential locations for every single past relic once wielded by the Chapter, and carried into battle. Also recorded within are encrypted messages which tell the history of the chapter, and, once every other relic is located, will reveal the last known location of the Winter, a mobile space fortress, capable of competing with the Phalanx.

 

Tech Adepts:

These future Techmarines are currently training within the chapter, only leaving for Mars near the end of their training cycle. They are trained in the ways of the Techmarine by the chapters Forgelords, being sent to Mars for a final test, and induction to the Martian Creed

 

 

Chapter orginization:

Great Elder Xaes Tum

Elder Irniq: First Company (Regent)

Elder Draco: Second Company (Master of the Guard)

Elder Tumultus: Third Company (Master of the Fortress)

Deathwatch Guardian Thorn: Fourth Company (Master of the Fleet)

Elder Tektus: Fifth Company (Master of the Seige)

Elder Frazel: Sixth Company (Master of the Watch)

Elder Amaruq: Seventh Company (Master of the Recruits)

 

Librarius:

Chief Seer Runesfuer: Seers (Librarians)

Pyre Guardian Ikaiq: Pyre Guardian

 

Reclusiarium:

Head Shaman Thanatos: Shaman (Chaplains)

 

Apothecarion:

Grand Healer Artemis: Healers (Apothecaries)

 

Deathwatch Guardian Captain Thorn: Deathwatch Guardians

 

Forge:

Forge Lord Cupun

Relic Master Hephestus Tecon

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

(Yes Relic master is an equivilent rank of Forge father, and yes hephestus is a name inherrited like the Forgefathers. in this case being the name of the sole surviving Relic Master from the Reformation)

[Captain Titus]

Ok. This is a good start, but i would add more detail for things such as the Betrayal (who betrayed who? when did this occur? What caused the betrayal?).

You could also add some of the Chapters heroes and their favoured combat tactics.

 

they recruited in waves of over a thousand recruits at a time

 

A codex compliant chapter maintains a strength of 1000 Battlebrothers. Were all of the Marines wiped out or is the Chapter not codex compliant? If there are official records of the chapter having an exceedingly larger number of marines (eg 2000 or 3000+), it may draw the attention of other chapters or the Inquisition due to an extreme breach of the Codex Astartes.

 

 

The 8th tribe are outcast, and are only found in the planetary capital

 

The 8th tribe? More detail would be necessary here. What about the other tribes? What happened that caused them to be casted out by the other tribes?

[Runesfuer]

The 8th tribe rebelled against Imperial control. The other tribes are nomadic. The corresponding company was dissolved.

Recruits =/= initiates, just the people.

 

Like I said, I'm not done, just wanted to post what i had typed out.

[Runesfuer]

So... I'm not gonna be able to consolidate as a single post for a bit, so, just gonna type it all up and post it here.

[Runesfuer]

Chapter Organization

1st Company Veterans

2nd Company Mechanized Command

3rd Company Seige Breakers

4th Company Fleet Watchers

5th Company Fortress builders

6th Company Reserve Company

7th Company Scout Company

Each Company except the Scout company is composed of 120 Marines, the Scout Company contains 60 potential marines.

Other Chapter Organization:

Librarius, currently about the strike cruiser Fall of the Warp. Consist of the traditional Librarian ranks, aswell as the Pyre Guardians, who guard the Eternal Flames, a holy Tome, akin to the Tome of Fire, which list every relic once possessed by the Chapter, and their last known location. The book is eternally a flame, and only the Guardians my touch it, any one else who does will be burnt to a cinder.

Reclusium, Order of the Shaman(Chaplains)

Apothecarion.

Forges.

Deathwatch Guardians: this group of elite soldiers, each survivors of the Deathwatch, and each specially trained to serve in the Deathwatch, have the authority to requisition any marine, from any order within the chapter, to form a kill team to destroy the enemy. Each member of the Deathwatch Guardians are Veteran Sergeant's, one of whom holds the Rank Deathwatch Guardian Captain, who acts as an adviser to the Chapter master, and as the overall leader of the Deathwatch Guardians. The Deathwatch Guardians chose a total of 60 Aspirants, and train them in the ways of of the Deathwatch, because of this, the Imperialis Primos provides the Deathwatch with a list of acceptable marine, held to the standards of the Council of Elders, and the Great Elder(chapter master) aswell as the Deathwatch Guardian Captain.

[Runesfuer]

Chapter Relics: Fall of the Warp, a Strike cruiser, and the current home of the Reliquary, and the Librarium. The oldest ship in the Chapters Navy, it is a remainder from the near chapter-wide devastation, and the only reminder that the chapter once was space based. A cryptic passage in the Eternal Flames references a fortress ship, one that supposedly rivals the Phalanx, called the 'Winter.' It is said, that the return of this ship marks the End Times.

Steel Wrath: This weapons is a combination of a force axe, and a thunder hammer, welded by Cheif Seer Runesfuer.

(Currently un-named) Power Sword and Plasma Pistol: Wielded by Reagent Captain Irniq (reagent Captain is a rank Held by the First Company Veteran, acts as reagent of the Planet)

Unknown number of Fire Raptors and Storm Eagles. Inordinate amount of Artificer Armor and Master-Crafted Weapons.

[Runesfuer]

Any criticism?

[Arkangilos]

Why are they not codex compliant? Not saying they can't be, but it should be explained.

 

Also, I'd try and format it with headers and more space between each part.

[Runesfuer]

The Deathwatch Guardians, and pyre guardians?

Pyre guardians are the remnants of an older order, basically, they fulfill a similar role as the Forge Father for the Salamander, in interpretation of the Eternal Flames, and guiding the chapters Relic Master, who actually gathers the relics.

 

Deathwatch Guardians have a command structure outside that of the main chapter, however, they exist within the command structure, the Chapter master commands them, with the Deathwatch Guardian Captain acting as a company captain, and the rest are veteran sergeants, taking their role when they are not on a mission.

Actually, when the Deathwatch was founded, chapters were supposed to train marines specifically for that purpose, not the Deathwatch choosing them.

The chapter organization is because of the social organization of the Homeworld.

 

Mobile. I'll refine next time I'm actually at a keyboard, I'll also be shifting it to a proper document, and format it there.

[Arkangilos]

No, I mean why is your chapter non codex? Why are your companies different?

 

And lol, I understand, I'm on my mobile too. Pain in the rear, lol

[Runesfuer]

In what way? Having only 7 companies, or the way they are specialized?

[Arkangilos]

Both. Why do they not follow the Codex Astartes like 99 percent of the other chapters?

 

For example, the Flesh Tearers aren't because they've been worn down to only a small percentage.

 

Most chapters non first founding chapters follow codex organization unless something drastic happened.

[Olis]

In what way? Having only 7 companies, or the way they are specialized?

 

Both, really. Firstly, the companies are a fifth larger than normal (aside from the scout company) and there is only seven of them. Secondly, there's codex-compliant specialisations but the rest seem quite arbitrarily ascribed. Special for the sake of being special. All of these elements will need to be explained in one way or another, whether by catastrophe, doctrinal schism or plain old casualties.   

[Runesfuer]

The 7 companies is because they are Salamander descendants, and, their Homeworld is a clan based system.

Originally, they were codex adherent, however, after they were reduced to only a company, they restructured the Company, introducing the Pyre Guardians and Deathwatch Guardians.

The specializations allow the chapter as a whole more tactical flexibility.

Also, other than the scout company, that's the same size of Salamander chapters, which means the chapter is still under-strength

[Runesfuer]

Forgot a thing:
Tech Adepts: In any other chapter, these marines would be on their way to Mars as soon as they become a devastator, in the Imperialis Primos, they become tech Adepts. Through the approval of the Martian Priesthood, the Forge Masters of the chapter have been permission to train their own tech Marines, as the sheer number of technically proficient recruits out numbers even is comparable to that of the Iron Hands, and Salamanders. These marines receive most of their training within the Forge fortress of the chapter, and are sent to Mars only at the end of their training, to become full members of the Mechanicus. These marines take much longer to train as they are still combat ready, and are never removed from the squad they belonged too until the time they travel to Mars. This means every squad has at least one technologically savvy marine, usually with enough skill to appease the machine spirits of the vehicles of recently turned chapters, whose vehicles have not yet been possessed, or otherwise corrupted.

Relic Masters are chosen at the time of recruitment, and they are recruited for that sole purpose. They are sent to Mars immediately after augmentation, and will be on Mars for almost a century, being trained to use their special abilities, as Relic Masters are [Almost] always blanks. The rarity of blanks means that if a blank is found, period, at an age where implantation would most likely succeed, they will take the child, and begin the implantation procedure.
Also, this means that Relic masters who otherwise would be allowed to rest after near-fatal wounds are instead interred in Dreadnought Armor.

Relic Master Tecon is the current relic master, and has gone a step beyond the usual limiter: His is embedded within his Power axe, which was upsized when he became a Dreadnought, and is linked through a special connection to his body, allowing him to shut it off at a moment's notice, especially helpful when collecting potentially possessed relics.

[Runesfuer]

Relic masters are the only case of the chapter recruiting from non-native population.

[Olis]

I think it has to be said, and I don't relish saying so, but I believe a lot of the details you are putting into the Chapter pushes it too far into 'special snowflake' territory. I think you need to reign in the exceptions to regular lore and the specialised nature of some of the Chapter. You need to focus on how the Chapter acts and behaves, what traditions and superstitions it may have, and (probably most importantly) what flaws there are.

[Arkangilos]

Ehh, I'd say Olis is right, but we should probably point out which parts need revisiting (I don't have the time right now). As an example, The tech adept thing.

[Runesfuer]

Flaws?

As a chapter, they will sacrifice marines to save humans. They are willing to negotiate with Xenos species.

Geneseed flaws: albino, save for the black hair, and the cerulean irises, which reflect light, similar to a cats and a demonic voice.

I'll also rethink the company specialization.

 

The tech adepts thing was something I thought would be cool, and also make sense, especially because of the recruiting method being similar to the Salamanders, with taking aspirants as apprentices.

[Runesfuer]

The idea of my chapter is to take the humanitarianism of the Salamanders and the Primarch Vulkan to a greater level, with a chapter that will literally die to save humanity.

[Runesfuer]

But yeah, point out what needs to be fixed or tweaked. That will help most.

[Machine God]

Yeah, and apparently be Much more tech proficient than the Salamanders and the Iron Hands? I don't think so!

 

Definitely Special Snowflake territory.

[Runesfuer]

Then I'll nix the idea.

Please do not be sarcastic a-holes. That's why I left the Alfa Legion.

[Arkangilos]

When I get a chance later I'll give you advice on what I think specifically needs fixed.

 

I personally think the chapter organization is fine, since you said it is largely based that way because they are Salamander successors and were mauled. So it would make sense that in rebuilding, especially if they had help, maybe, that they would be reorganized based on the help they had.

 

+edit+ OH! You already said something similar, my bad. Disregard this paragraph. Instead, consider rewording the first part, like what my final paragraph says.

[disregard]To follow up with my tech adept example, I don't have a problem with your chapter having tech adepts, I have a problem with them not ever being sent to Mars. Basically, it's fine that from their initiation into the chapter they are selected to follow tech marines and learn from them, as long as they eventually go to Mars. Maybe they have to "graduate" and perform some sort of ritual or trial, and once given the approval of their mentor (or maybe several of them), they are permitted to continue on the path?[/disregard]

 

And maybe ease up on the Blank thing? Like they prefer blanks, and will always take advantage of recruiting them, but due to their rarity they recruit non blanks into the relic master group as well.

 

The biggest issue that causes the "special snowflake" comment is when you say they do something better, or have more of something, than an actual famous chapter. For example, the tech marine thing. You can think that they do, but you shouldn't say that they do. Basically, it comes off as you want your chapter to be better, but in the shared world that isn't what comes off. It just comes off badly. It's better to just leave it at large numbers without comparing it.

[Doctor Perils]

Hi there. I think that you've got some interesting concepts going on in this chapter. Unfortunately, there are two things that are sorely lacking, which make the whole thing difficult to read as a whole:

1. The lack of formatting. You are not alone in this problem, many people just type out what they want in a Forum post and think that that's that. Unfortunately, without proper formatting (especially titles) it is actually surprisingly difficult to make out what each part is talking about. The classic form of a forum post actually makes this problem worse, so that even bold or italic text is sometimes difficult to make out on a screen. Further, in your case, you have posted your information in many different posts, making it difficult to skip back and forth between sections (something that is often necessary with IA articles).
   • Please use the edit button. This is also present on the mobile interface, and you should normally have a copy/paste functionality on your phone too, so you  shouldn't really have an excuse not to use it. This goes not only for copy/pasting your new information into the OP (so you have an up-to-date article in your OP at any one time, as well as a "change log" in the rest), this also goes for reply posts as well: many people find double-posting irritating; if it is three consecutive posts within a couple of hours of each other, with a single line added, it becomes even more irritating
   • If you wish to add "Headers" for formating the titles, I'd recommend waiting for the computer, then using the following code

     [basicheader=000000]YOUR TITLE[/basicheader]

2. The lack of an introduction. This is also something frequently lacking from IAs, and unfortunately I can't say it's always easy to do. However, it is very important, as it gives the reader a quick overview of what the IA is going to be about. This helps to form a simple mental framework, providing meat-hooks from which you will hang the juicy hams and smoked salmons of information, rather then just heaping them on the poor unsuspecting reader. For an IA that is still being written and is still evolving, this is doubly important, as it will help the reader to know where the article may go in the future.

Colour Scheme

The next two things that would be extremely welcome are a colour scheme and chapter badge, both in picture format and in written format. These help give an immediate visual identity to a chapter, and make them more memorable to the reader - as humans, our sense of sight is often the most developped sense, and as such our visual memory is often much better then other forms of memory. A colour scheme can also help give some sense of the theme of the chapter too - the Blood Angels and World Eaters both feature violence in their themes quite heavily, which is reflected in their red colour schemes.

 

Chapter Name

Next up is a bit of a nitpick, and you can freely disagree with me - it's more of a matter of opinion.

 

Space Marine chapters have an established naming convention: Adjective-Noun, in English. Dark Angels, White Scars, Imperial Heralds... Sometimes, you'll have two nouns, one being "adjectified" (Iron Warriors, Blood Angels, World Eaters) or used as a possessive (Emperor's Children, Sons of Orar). Still others will use a single adjective, that is unusual (and in my mind should be at least 3 syllables long) - Salamanders, Minotaurs.

 

These three conventions span all canon chapters to my knowledge, and all are in english with only two exceptions (to my knowledge) - the Carcharadons and the Vlka Fenryka. However, these two are also often known as Space Sharks and Space Wolves respectively - there are actually very few publications that don't call the Space Wolves "Space Wolves", the only ones being Horus Heresy novels - and I don't think that there are any publications that mention the Carcharadons without saying "also known as the Space Sharks" in the same breath.

 

A final part of the usual conventions for the two-part names is that the second noun can still describe a Space Marine on its own, ie, it is still possible to describe a Blood Angel as "the Angel", or a Space Wolf as "the Wolf". This is less of a rule, more a pointer that can sometimes help - after all, there are quite a few exceptions to it, even within the Legions (World Eaters, Alpha Legion, though one could argue for "Legionaire")

 

For these reasons, I don't think that Imperialis Primos satisfies the standard naming conventions:

a - it is not in english, and you don't provide an english translation.

b - from my rudimentary knowledge of latin High Gothic, Imperialis Primos would mean "Imperial First" - First is not a noun, and you could therefore not describe a marine as a First.

c - even if you found a noun to replace "first", it doesn't actually sound any cooler in latin then in english - which to me is the deciding factor in giving a chapter a non-english name. How cool is "Carcharadons" compared to "Space Sharks" ;)

 

Chapter Organisation

I don't think that a bit of codex-deviance is such a bad problem, especially if you are using the same organisation as a codex-deviant parent chapter - in your case the Salamanders. Having 7 companies of 120 marines isn't against the spirit of the Codex, even if it isn't in the letter of the Codex Astartes.

 

The problem comes in with trying to make each of these companies particularly unique - that is a rather big no-no for the Codex Astartes, as it means that these specialised formations won't be able to do without the other formations in the course of a war. That is okay for Reserve, Veteran or Scout companies, but the battle-companies - which seem to be the real basis of the codex astartes - need to be semi-independent in order to function well on its own for the duration of a campaign.

Of course, all that is made even more complicated by the need of not giving the commanding officer enough independence that he may turn rogue in impunity. (hence the underlined section in the previous paragraph)

 

However, each company can have a slight preference for one kind of task, as long as they don't specialise in that task to the exclusion of all others. Canon chapters already do have a certain amount of preferences established, as can be seen in the titles of the different captains, and we are told for instance that the members of the 6th company are all trained bikers, and the members of the 7th are all trained pilots.

 

 

All that being said, I believe that there is enough place normally for one single company having a specialised task and method of warfare for codex-deviant chapters, without stepping too far into special-snowflake territory. An extreme example is Dark Angels and their successors, who have two such companies - However, for all other successors, you should never have more then one specialist company, as one is already pushing the limits.

 

Tech-adepts

I think the others were right to mention that, the way you have described them, these are a bit mary-sueish. However, I don't think that the idea should be scrapped completely - I'd just make sure you don't go overboard.

 

However, it's a bit of a situation one-or-the-other with a specialist company.

 

Relics and Relic Masters

You should say how many there are of these Relic Masters - to me, it sounds like they may get recruited at a certain rate (possibly one every decade), but you then mention the single relic master at the time.

 

The concept of having blanks take on this duty is an interesting one, however, I don't think they'd be very good in practice considering recent-ish canon (specifically, the Black Pariah that is turned, despite being the most powerful pariah in the galaxy) - according to this, Pariahs can be turned, and the fact that they can't get help from divining psykers could hinder their search.

Also, I don't really get why they need to be trained by the Mechanicus?

 

Now, very importantly, we need to know more about the relics themselves:

• What kinds of relics are they?
• Why were they lost?
• When?
• How many are there?
• What happens to them once they are returned to the chapter?
• How does this relic-search mesh with the concept of an über-humanitarian Chapter?

 

 

Also, this means that Relic masters who otherwise would be allowed to rest after near-fatal wounds are instead interred in Dreadnought Armor.

This is the case for every Dreadnought ;) I'd mention something about the Relic Masters being considered in priority for Dreadnought interrement.

 

Deathwatch Guardians

I don't see how having a dedicated Deathwatch corps is any different for your chapter then just having a collection of Veteran Sergeants being able to create temporary kill-teams? After all, the Deathwatch can do that just fine.

 

Also, the idea of a Xenos-hunting specialist corps doesn't seem to mesh well with the potentially-chaotic-relics that this chapter seems to have an affinity with.

 

Pyre Guardians

This idea seems quite cool, though I'd try to change the name: the Salamanders already have the elite "Pyre Guard", this just seems a bit too close.

 

 

 

 

 

Okay, I hope that can be of some use to you :)