CANCELLED

[High Marshal Bohemond]

CANCELLED

Edited July 7, 2017 by High Marshal Bohemond

[Kelborn]

Reminds me a tiny bit of the Celestial Lions.

 

Is the chaos-y chapter symbol a coincedence or intended?

 

Can we get a small teaser of your plans? :)

[High Marshal Bohemond]

Plans are 2nd founding assault specialists and survivors of the failed attempt to re-take Mondus Gamma.....These same marines made land fall on Terra to help with its defense, found themselves cut off and unable to link up with their brothers on the wall, they joined forces with the White Scars rapid assault and harassment forces.....it is during these actions they developed a pride in rapid deployment and quick strike hit and run tactics.  A LOT more to come but this is just the taste of their background. The symbol is tribute to there Progenitor legion, the original symbology of the Emperor and the Thunder Warriors and finally a small tribute to the White Scars whom they fought alongside during the battle for Terra. No chaos link at all.....Except the utter hatred for the Iron Warriors and Alpha Legion.

 

After the heresy they enter out to crusade towards the fringes of Imperial space. Later Upon hearing of the "Death of their Primarch Rogal Dorn" at the hands of the Iron Warriors, they find some vague clues and REFUSED to accept his death and believed he had actually been captured by the Iron Warriors and not killed, the hatred Perturabo had for Dorn would want Dorn to suffer and not meet a simple fate. They became obsessed with any and all clues that lead to any information about his possible survival and location. Intelligence they have gathered leads them to believe the Alpha Legion had concocted some plot to capture Dorn and turn him over to the Iron Warriors, or help create a trap for him. They have sent several small crusade and infiltration forces into the eye to look for him of the dozens sent over the last 10000 years only one returned and recently with possible news of their Primarch.

Edited May 1, 2017 by High Marshal Bohemond

[High Marshal Bohemond]

Updated with some fluff! More to come!

[Bjorn Firewalker]

Note: As Games Workshop's canon states Guilliman killed "Alpharius" (the uncertainty is due to the Alpha Legionnaires' tendency to use cosmetic surgery to make themselves resemble their Primarch, and serve as his decoys in campaigns- the existence of Omegon is a secret, unknown to those outside the Legion, including other Primarchs), best claim Dorn killed "Alpharius" multiple times, learning of the Alpha Legions "secret" (the Legionnaires' tendency to make themselves into their Primarch's doubles) in the process.

[High Marshal Bohemond]

I Thought the Emperor, Dorn and Horus knew of Omegon......but for the other part I see your point and will do some edits tomorrow.

[High Marshal Bohemond]

I think the Canon is Dorn Killed Alpharius and then Guilliman Killed Omegon after he had assumed the Alpharius role.....

[Kelborn]

The RG vs Alpharius issue was discussed a couple of times on this board.

 

What we know is a legend / heritage of the UM fighting the AL which resulted in the death of Alpharius. This is only mentioned in UM fluff. Nowhere else. And even this legend is not 100% proofed by anyone. Even the UM think of it as a legend.

 

I don't know when this was introduced to the UM fluff, but it does sound like the golden age of the "spiritual liege" aka M.W.

 

Whatever the case, I (imho) am sure that this will be either revised or cut out because of the recent releases of BL.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

As the Thunder Lords are fighting the Traitor Legion most skilled in infiltration and subversion, I think they should be downright paranoid regarding the possibility Alpha Legionnaires may infiltrate and subvert the Thunder Lords themselves, and regularly submit (and force others to submit) to DNA tests to confirm the "Thunder Lords" and their "allies" are actually the Thunder Lords and their allies- if they're not paranoid enough, they'll soon earn Darwin Awards.

[Kelborn]

How funny would it be if their geneseed would be secretly exchanged with Alpha Legion geneseed. ^^

 

"Let me check...yeah, you're a Thunder Lord. Welcome home, brother. Why are you laughing?"

[High Marshal Bohemond]

I like the Paranoid piece about constant testing but also forces them into becoming specialist in Counter espionage as well.

[High Marshal Bohemond]

added the paranoia and testing because of Alpha legion threats to the Chapter History.

[Bjorn Firewalker]

The revised backstory is okay. I still think the mystery behind "Alpharius" should be addressed, though- did Dorn kill his traitor brother, or yet another one of Alpharius' doubles?

[High Marshal Bohemond]

Well I will leave that up to the Canon lords, I just know they supposedly fought before RG fought him and what I have seen RD killed Alpharious and RG might have killed Omegon....but who knows.

[Boldthreat]

I love the Chapter Badge and the Scheme.  Well done.  I also really like the idea of a Chapter that refuses to acknowledge their Primarch's demise and actively crusades to find him, even 10,000 years past.  As a proponent of Dorn staying dead, I must acknowledge that this could lead to some serious Grim-Dark ramifications... I.E.  Are these hints and quests the result of Alpha Legion baiting and traps?  Is really dead and their whole belief futile?  Is he alive and is this going to be one of the most epic stories of rescue ever?  I don't know but I would love to read more about it!

 

This is a very great start.  You have put a lot of thought into your background and it shows.  

 

Looking forward to more.

[Cryptix]

Well let's get this out of the way first - that color scheme is certainly...interesting. Not sure if I like it, but it's...interesting.

 

You might want to develop their relationships with the White Scars more - fighting alongside them for one battle does not change the tactics of a century. Maybe add that they hung out with them during the Scouring?

[High Marshal Bohemond]

@ Boldthreat: I personally hope/lean towards Dorn being alive, but their constant entanglements with the Alpha Legion who we all know specialize in espionage and deceit can and will lead to some interesting plot points. I am currently writing two short story "fluff" pieces, one set in the immediate aftermath of the fall of Cadia where the chapter even hearing of the return of the Primarch Roboute Guilliman and their desire to win his support and favor in their quest for their own primarch and without the "Last Wall" protocol being enacted feel it is their duty as Son's of Dorn to make every effort the get to Terra for her defense.  The second will be based after the defense of Terra where a captured Iron Warrior's interrogation gives new information that gives very positive evidence to Dorn being alive and kept in an Iron Warriors cell within the eye. They approach Guilliman with the information and he provides them additional resources to launch an offensive in attempt to confirm the potential still existence of his brother Rogal.

 

@cryptix: I have done one test mini and you'll have to trust me until I can post images, the scheme looks amazing when actually put onto miniatures. I am on leave from work next week and intend to get a couple squads painted and post their images. As far as there tactics go, they were created/formed from the remnants of the rapid assault units and their alignment with the White Scars during the defense of Terra just highlighted/reinforced their belief in that style of fighting. I do intend to write up more on their relationship with the White Scars to include as you mentioned, working together during the scouring as well as a few other occasions in their chapters history.  Hopefully I will have a story update and some photo's by the end of next week.

[High Marshal Bohemond]

Modified the chapter, name change and color change. everything else stays the same. More stories to come and miniature pictures.

[Commissar Molotov]

I've come to your Chapter relatively clean - I didn't see the earliest drafts - but I'm left a little cold. For me, you spend far too much time talking about the Horus Heresy. Let's be clear - the Imperial Fists of the 173rd are not the Emperor's Paragons. In choosing to make a Second Founding Chapter you have created a fighting force with ten thousand years of history, one of the most ancient, venerable and honourable pillars of the Imperium. I think you should focus far more on the Astartes of the 41st millennium. If it were me, I'd create a sidebox for the 173rd "Storms of Inwit" and use that to see where the chapter derives its heritage - but don't let it dominate your article. 

 

My personal thought is that you spend a lot of time connecting your Chapter to the 'big players' - the Alpha Legion, the Iron Warriors, the Ultramarines - but this doesn't serve your Chapter well. Think about what makes your warriors stand for themselves?

 

I'd also think about the baggage caused by being paragons of the Emperor - how exactly do they embody Him-on-Earth? Are they proud, arrogant? Does this mesh well with your counter-intelligence theme?

[High Marshal Bohemond]

I see exactly where you are going, there is more coming. I wanted to do this in phases, first their history, and explanation of their founding/why they exist. From here I will delve more into there post Dorns deaths issues and how they strayed from the reputation they established that earned them their name. The name will be linked to their actions during the defense of terra, but the rest of their story will come from their "seemingly hopeless" crusade to find their father and deal with how they have changed as a force since earning their name. The tactics and actions they use in counter espionage and the type of fighting they resort to now will solely be focused in the 41st. I plan on adding some more this week. I agree the 173rd should become a side box as well as their history/how they earned their name. More to come.