THE LIBER CLUSTER II

[golfdeltafoxtrot]

I don't understand people who don't like sensible and well reasoned criticism - you'll never improve at anything without it. I'm happy to hear more thoughts if you have them.

 

I'm glad that you've got an answer to all the enigmas, it's just that there are already so many! I do like that they're proper Warp-infused scary dudes though, Astartes-but-evil never really sits well with me so the daemonic influences are a good touch.

[Fat Necron]

I don't understand people who don't like sensible and well reasoned criticism - you'll never improve at anything without it. I'm happy to hear more thoughts if you have them.

 

I'm glad that you've got an answer to all the enigmas, it's just that there are already so many! I do like that they're proper Warp-infused scary dudes though, Astartes-but-evil never really sits well with me so the daemonic influences are a good touch.

Need to skim through your Chapter again in a few minutes, brew more coffee and think on it. There's still a couple other Chapters I've begun CRITICIZING!

 

I'm such a gushing fan-boy for Chaos and all it's delectable creativeness. Me and a buddy of mine are hammering out the finer details behind them but there's a good structure of answers to everything. However, I'm straying far away from numbers. There could be a hundred or ten-thousand and maybe a solid twenty. No one knows! (Unless Conn accepts them, which I'll devulge the oodles of information)

 

There's not enough Chaos Undivided, which much like Zero-G, is another underappreciated aspect of 40K... Well, not as neglected as Zero-G. Now I'm wondering why there isn't more Zero-G scenes in novels or battles.

[Reyner]

Emperors Gift has a great zero-g battle I think there is a bit of it in Know No Fear aswell :D Chaos Undivided is also the best Chaos :P 

[Dizzyeye01]

Alright so *Cracks fingers* let the criticism begin

 

@ Fat Necron:

 

 

Theorizing Their Summons: Each consecutive engagement, though far and in between, have occurred suddenly. The Liber Cluster Ordo in conjunction with [Classified] Chapter have a dozen hypothesis but few solid theories. 

  Most notably is their presence is brief, estimated to be days before disappearing as suddenly as they appeared. Their disappearance isn't as perplexing as to the masses that disappear alongside them. Inquisitors suggest their appearance heralds an exodus, of sorts. Each appearance has seen small populations of mutants and heretics vanish with them. 

 

  Closer inspection into the industrious worlds of their sightings uncover darker secrets. Such secrets cannot be spoken, whispered or uttered. To give heresy a voice invites damnation, banishment from the God-Emperors light. Do not fall into the enigma behind the Singala Cadre as You Will Be Received.

 

First off, I feel like you should put this paragraph after the "What Little is Known" section as so far there hasn't been a real introduction into the Singala Cadre, more just theories about something. Second, the last line beginning with "Closer inspection..." doesn't really do much to the article. Perhaps change it so that the appearance of this force is enough to force the Inquisition to quarantine the area just to possible effects of chaos? Lastly, it doesn't have to be a classified chapter that can investigate things, you have the Sisters of Battle around along with Imperial Guard forces too. Guessing from this so far, the Sisters of Battle may be a better choice as they are more tied with heretics and mutants which seem to have a big part in the Cadre. Moving on...

 

 

 

What Little Is Known: Seldom have these bastardized Astarte's been seen. Insane soldiers tell exaggerated tales of daemons while loyal Astartes struggle to comprehend exactly what stood before them. The only reliable sources are the Astarte's themselves as madness usually consumes those of lesser fortitude. What comes to mind is the melancholy for these grim reflections of themselves. An exposed tube replaces their helmets mouth grill, presumably to assist their breathing. Lights flicker across the mechanical mess of crude, cumbersome power armor. Every breath tells a tale of agony as they exhale heavy, exhausted rasps of breath from their helmets. 

  To date only one specimen regarding these malformed Astarte's has been recovered; at a hefty cost. Apothocaries from [Classified] Chapter have discovered a multitude of abnormalities within their biology. Most notably their progenoid glands are withered, dried organs. The gene-seed utilized to genetically modify aspirants into Astarte's remains inconclusive. One hypothesis states these Astarte's don't originate from any of the original legions, in fact, they're a separate entity all together. This would explain the irreparable decay of the progenoid glands and extensive organ failure, however, that only raises more questions. Who made them, where does their gene-seed come from, who's arming them? 

 

Generally a good section here. The first two lines could flow better along the lines of "With soldiers falling to madness, the only reliable contacts have been from members of the Adeptus Astartes or from those who have similarly been modified to endure insanity." Along with this though I would go into detail a little on how the specimen was recovered so that we the viewers can see a little in how the Cadre fight. Next section...

 

 

 

Engage With Caution: Despite the multitude of failing organs these broken Astarte's operate with an eerie decisiveness. Alone they're weak, easily overcome by their physically superior cousins but their dangers lies in the squads. Cryptographers couldn't intercept their vox links for there were none. They operated with a preternatural cohesion, reacting quicker than orders can be received; an innate knowledge of action in engagements. This doesn't mean they're perfect soldiers, quite the contrary. From the few accounts recorded dealing with these anomalies it's advised to either A) Bring to bare insurmountable fire power or B ) Meet these bleak Astarte's in melee combat. Be advised bravery before tactical acumen guarantee's a decisive end.

 

This I would merge with the above paragaph in general. There is a contraditction here though in that at the start you say they "Operate with a eerie decisiveness"  along with having a good knowledge of fighting yet say that they are far from being perfect soldiers. I would nail down which one they are along with bring up again the mutants that they seem to disappear with and mention how they operate around these mutants they round up. It doesn't have to be concrete facts but rumours and theories are a good start. Lastly...

 

 

The Warp Spawn Anomaly: Chaos Spawn are commonly associated with berserk tendencies. They're enamored by the prospect of violence and death, possibly even relishing in the suffering they inflict... Usually. 

  The Singala Cadre's presence heralds a spike in warp influence. Chaos Spawn and Beast follow these grim Astarte's passively, not as frothing beast. Footage from one particular encounter depicted a Singala Astarte's feeding a wounded Chaotic Beast. Another disturbing account comes from an Astarte's revived from a sus-an coma.

  After twelve consecutive hour of conflict hours of heated fighting, of the twenty Astarte's dispatched only one remained. He was met by a lone Singalan Astarte's. A single Singalan who held three leashes of thick, rustic chains attached to three slobbering Chaotic Beasts. A restrained, albeit forced calm settled across these creatures, that was, until their leashes were dropped. Before the chains could thud against the grated floor they were rending the armor from the loyal Astarte's flesh. 
 
  This bizarre relationship between Astarte's and Daemon is unheard of. [Classified] Chapter and Inquisitors have uncovered, months after an encounter, the presence of Warp influence. This same influence mutated a handful of innocent humans into abomination. After such a tragedy, a hypothesis was brought to bare; The Chaos Spawn and other Warp Beasts found in the same vicinity are purposely created. All accounts regarding Warp related creatures presents a completely different picture as ravenous monsters. What if mutant and beast give themselves over willingly, to take another step into devotion by surrendering their body to the powers that be? Would this allow said creatures an inkling of sentience beyond base instincts? 

 

First off, I would take the warp spike and put it up into the introduction, it seems more fitting to have it up there instead of with Chaos spawn in general. That was you could also have Inquisitors try and develop tech in order to scan for these warp spikes yet never seem to get there on time to fight the Cadre. Second, I would remove the very first line about aggression and cut it down to something along the lines of "While Chaos Spawn are known for their aggression..." and link it into how these Chaos Spawn are different from other types. Along with this, I would also mention earlier that due to the warps' influence that often the Cadre leave behind outbreaks of mutants as so far you've only really talked about them appearing then disappearing. You don't need to tell us exactly what happens when they appear but give hints at what happens.

 

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So, in general, you have a few interesting ideas that can be taken from what you've written however it could be organised better. That and more hints could be given towards the warband itself would be nice to see in order to work out what we're dealing with :)

 

 

@ Golfdeltafoxtrot

 

Alright then, lets see what the Grey Ravens are made of

 

 

 

Grey Ravens

* GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR) – Raven Guard
* FOUNDING – Ultima
* CHAPTER MASTER – Nirsori Coloeus
* HOME WORLD/BASE OF OPERATIONS – Plegolis, Subsector Colvin
* OBSERVED STRATEGIC TENDENCIES – Zero-G Warfare, Counter-Boarding, Stealth Operations
* BATTLE CRY – None
* CURRENT STRENGTH – 1000
* KNOWN DESCENDANTS – None

 

Good simple start here. I would perhaps change Stealth Operations to Surprise Attacks/Ambushes as while stealth can play it's part in boarding actions, it doesn't have the biggest area. Being skilled at suddenly opening walls and bursting into the enemy on the other hand would certainly be interesting to see, especially if they're repelling a boarding party attacking them. You could then go into how they're willing to open up entry points into their own ship to surprise the enemy and set them back before they know what's on them. It could hint towards a "Repel at all costs" belief the chapter itself holds.

 

 

 

Origin
One of only a handful of Ultima Founding Chapters created from the geneseed of the Raven Guard, the Grey Ravens are newly assigned to the Liber Cluster. They bring with them the proud heritage of Corvus Corax and the famed Raven Guard aptitude for stealth and precision strikes, but apply their skills to a more unconventional style of warfare. Their heraldry - based on their grey power armour with the Chapter badge of a swooping white raven borne on the left shoulder pad - is consistent with that of their predecessor, incorporating company colour on the right shoulder pad rim and squad number on the left knee.

 

Nothing too special here, perhaps go into a bit of detail on the training cadre that was sent in order to train the Ravens?

 

 

 

Homeworld
The Grey Ravens recruit from the hive world of Plegolis, a densely populated planet of sprawling manufactora and cramped hab-towers in the Colvin subsector of the Liber Cluster. Their Chapter Fortress, the Mororium, is a large and heavily fortified orbiting station from which the Grey Ravens periodically send down delegations of recruiters to Plegolis to retrieve the brightest and strongest of the hive citizens for service with the Chapter. Already used to tight quarters and hazardous environments, the Grey Ravens have found the youth of Plegolis a more than satisfactory resource for recruitment.

 

Simple enough but what drove them to Plegolis? Is it due to the gangs making hardened killers ready for recruitment? You do mention tight quarters and such are heavy around the world but what really draws the chapter into making a world their homeworld is the people who live on it. This section would be a great place to explain how the chapter got it's beliefs on the stars ;)

 

 

 

Combat Doctrine
Although able to muster a fighting force for any kind of operation, the Grey Ravens are specialists in non-planetary warfare. Using stealth, misdirection, and surprise assault, the Grey Ravens have developed an uncanny proficiency in fighting aboard starships, void installations, and space hulks. Typically called upon to retake captured Imperial warships or to prevent the invasion of orbital facilities, Grey Ravens Inceptors deploy directly onto hulls from nearby strike craft and blast their way in through hatches, while Reivers quietly infiltrate bridges and enginariums to decapitate enemy leadership. In one of their first significant engagements in the Liber Cluster, elements of the Grey Ravens' 4th company were able to retake the Imperial Navy Lunar-class cruiser Heraldus Rex from the hitherto unidentified heretic Astartes warband which had captured the vessel some 22 standard days previously. A force of Reivers let by Lieutenant Carak infiltrated the bridge and eliminated the warband's leadership element, preventing any co-ordinated defence of the ship and allowing other Grey Ravens forces to retake the vessel with only 37% of the human crew lost.

 

Good simple paragraph though perhaps it would be good to talk about the Voidraven as you mention later? More specifically, you should talk about what sets it apart from your regular Stormraven; does it have less arnaments so that i can stay flying in the void longer? Does it have some form of melta in the front capable of making breaches into a ship? Also I would mention the differences that Rievers have in the chapter since they are usually used as terror units in other Primaris chapters as well as being scouts.

 

 

 

Organisation
Adhering to the Codex Astartes is a point of debate within the Grey Ravens. Though the Chapter leadership recognizes the benefits of following the tenets within, and the updates made over the millennia since it was written, they are aware that the Liber Cluster, and the wider Imperium itself, have changed substantially in recent times. Accordingly the Grey Ravens make use of fewer heavy vehicles than might other Chapters, preferring instead to maintain a larger-than-normal complement of void-capable craft including Thunderhawks, Stormravens, and their own variant of the Stormraven known as the Voidraven. From these craft they deploy the full spectrum of Primaris battle-brothers, showing that the Codex is not completely ignored, merely under review.

 

As mentioned before, I would say move the Voidraven stuff to the Combat Doctrine or even to a sidebar. Also while you mention that the Codex Astartes is a point of debate, there isn't a lot here to suggest that they are opposed to it. I would either add in more why there are those against it or say that the chapter follows the Codex Astartes but is careful to not strictly follow it. The Codex has a lot on formations and such  which has good information in it but the chapter itself allows itself to remain open minded in that subject. How does that sound?

 

 

 

Beliefs
The beliefs of the Grey Ravens centre on the Emperor and their Primarch as guiding stars within the dark void. With the power of the Astronomican providing a clear-cut example, the Grey Ravens believe that all sufficiently powerful warriors can provide light and direction within the blackness of space after their death. The Chapter’s Chaplains lead ceremonies from the outer hull of the Mororium or from the open landing bays of the Chapter’s voidcraft in order to receive the guiding light of the stars. The Librarius studies the patterns of the stars for omens and portents, and are constantly on the lookout for the appearance of newer and brighter stars which may represent their lost Primarch.

 

Now this bit I find truely interesting. The one qustion I have is did this belief come from the homeworld itself and slowly bleed into the chapter itself? It does seem like that is the case to me at least but it would be a nice detail to add where it came from.

 

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In short, the chapter itself does seem to have a solid footing and have room to grow in terms of personality 

 

@ Beren

 

 

 

Long have the planets of the Deeps claimed those who sought to conquer it. Recently the tally of the lost has only increased. Much of this was attributed to the Lions, until the tattered remnants of an exploratory fleet returned bearing tales of a fortress suspended in the sky and bearing Astartes corpses in their hold. The vast majority of these bore gene-seed akin to that of the Oneiroi, confirming this to be a thrall chapter of the Penumbra, but a single veteran bore far older gene-seed. Analysis of tactics, equipment and heraldry bear similarities to a Chapter once thought lost in exile.
For ease of referencing all information regarding this Chapter has been added to this file.

 

A solid start I would say. I will go on to say though that while you certainly have the idea for the Scions of the Dawn thought out, I would focus my efforts on the Rebel Primaris that are brought up by these renegade Scions. Lay down how the renegades operate, link it into how they operate in a very similar fashion to the Scions then finally, tie it back to the theories of the Scions being involved somehow and you should have a good submission on your hands 

[Ace Debonair]

The updated Singala Cadre gets a big thumbs up from me.

 

I feel like the daemonic stuff doesn't really get enough representation in a lot of warbands, but with these guys it's front and centre, smacking you in the face with it's unnaturalness. Heck, even the 'are they even real space marines at all' approach adds to the unworldly feel of the warband.

 

I also kept the numbers out of the equation with the Corsairs - just saying 'they're numerous enough to be trouble' is the elegant solution.

 

 

 

 

With regards to Serious C&C:

 

Once the submissions are all in, there will be plenty of C&C to go around.

Remember, at this stage we're just looking for concepts - smelting the ingots of ideas from the ore of imagination. Forging those ingots into their final forms will come later.

[golfdeltafoxtrot]

@ Dizzyeye - thank you for providing such an in-depth review, I appreciate it.

I’ve taken on board the C&C so far, and present a second draft of the Grey Ravens. It’s very slightly over the word limit, but I’ve already cut quite a bit - the section about recent activity, some extraneous stuff about their colours which is evident from the pictures, and tightened up a few sentences.

I hope I’m going in the right direction with this second try.

Grey Ravens
* GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR) – Raven Guard
* FOUNDING – Ultima
* CHAPTER MASTER – Nirsori Coloeus
* HOME WORLD/BASE OF OPERATIONS – Plegolis, Subsector Colvin
* OBSERVED STRATEGIC TENDENCIES – Zero-G Warfare, Boarding Actions, Ambush Tactics
* BATTLE CRY – None
* CURRENT STRENGTH – 1000
* KNOWN DESCENDANTS – None

Origin
One of only a handful of Ultima Founding Chapters created from the geneseed of the Raven Guard, the Grey Ravens are newly assigned to the Liber Cluster. They bring with them the proud heritage of Corvus Corax and the famed Raven Guard aptitude for stealth and precision strikes, but utilize their skills in an unconventional style of warfare. Trained in their specialised way of warfare by elements of the Raven Guard 3rd and 4th companies, the Grey Ravens have assimilated the art of the ambush and learned to apply it to zero-G and shipboard combat.

Homeworld
The Grey Ravens recruit from the hive world of Plegolis, a densely populated planet of sprawling manufactora and cramped hab-towers in the Colvin subsector of the Liber Cluster. Their Chapter Fortress, the Mororium, is a large and heavily fortified orbiting station from which the Grey Ravens descend to Plegolis to retrieve the brightest and strongest of the hive citizens for service with the Chapter. Already used to tight quarters and hazardous environments, the Grey Ravens have found the youth of Plegolis a more than satisfactory resource for recruitment. The strong work ethic, physical resiliency, and mental agility found among the hab-clans have been explored by the Chapter’s Apothecaries who have discovered an underlying high quality genome among the inhabitants of Plegolis, suggesting minimal genetic disruption and no evidence of significant hereditary mutation. Thus, the genetic and environmental factors of Plegolis have combined to forge excellent subjects for ascension.

Combat Doctrine
Although able to muster a fighting force for any kind of operation, the Grey Ravens are specialists in non-planetary warfare. Using stealth, misdirection, and surprise assault, the Grey Ravens have developed an uncanny proficiency in fighting aboard starships, void installations, and space hulks. Typically called upon to retake captured Imperial warships or to prevent the invasion of orbital facilities, Grey Ravens forces deploy directly onto hulls from nearby strike craft and blast their way in through hatches. Reivers, deployed by the Grey Ravens as infiltrators and saboteurs, quietly infiltrate bridges and enginariums to decapitate enemy leadership.

The Grey Ravens make use of fewer land vehicles than other Chapters, preferring instead to maintain a larger-than-normal complement of void-capable craft including their own variant of the Stormraven known as the Voidraven. Expanded for greater transport capacity, it’s power plant and engines modified with heat-shielding and exhaust baffles, and armed with forward mounted melta-charges, the Voidraven has been designed to approach targets stealthily before blasting open docking bays and access hatches to disgorge it’s boarding parties into the most vulnerable areas of enemy vessels.

Of equal importance to their way of war are the specialised abilities of the Chapter’s Techmarines. Trained by the adepts of Mars in the ways of vox-capture, data manipulation, and information sabotage, every assault is accompanied by a Techmarine charged with disrupting enemy communications, feeding incorrect data to sensoria, or decrypting vox and pict traffic. In this way, the Grey Ravens are able to mount direct and precise strikes while keeping their enemies off balance or incapable of mounting a co-ordinated response.

Organisation
The Grey Ravens take a pragmatic and thoughtful approach to the Codex Astartes. Though the Chapter leadership recognizes the benefits of following the tenets within, and the updates made over the millennia since it was written, they are aware that the Liber Cluster, and the wider Imperium itself, have changed substantially in recent times. Accordingly the Codex is viewed within the Chapter as a set of guidelines, and the Grey Ravens ensure that their adherence to the Codex is not so strict that is prevents adaptability or restricts their ability to react to new situations.

Beliefs
The beliefs of the Grey Ravens centre on the Emperor and their Primarch as guiding stars within the dark void. With the power of the Astronomican providing a clear example, the Grey Ravens believe that dead warriors provide light and direction within the blackness of space. The Chapter’s doctrine stems from the native belief system of Plegolis, adapted by the Ecclesiarchy to teach that the stars are the light of the Emperor watching over the people of the planet. Chaplains lead ceremonies from the outer hull of the Mororium or from the open landing bays of the Chapter’s voidcraft in order to receive the guiding light of the stars. The Librarius studies the patterns of the stars for omens and portents, and are constantly on the lookout for the appearance of newer and brighter stars which may represent their lost Primarch.

Edited March 22, 2018 by golfdeltafoxtrot

[Fat Necron]

Dizzyeye: That's some considerable criticism there, no doubt about it. I honestly hope I didn't guilt you into it or anything, I was just spouting my usual non-sense in a previous post. Hehe

I will say you've given me quite a bit to think on and assess about my direction with the Singala Cadre. You're right on every point, most importantly their encounters and investigators. There an obvious lack of other factions. While the Inquisition might be involved I think the most likely group would be the Arbites, before Inquisition. Other than that, if they came across actual Astarte's it'd be one specific instance, maybe two if the circumstances were right. I'd like to leave room for growth, so to speak, where encounters can be more frequent for a variety of reasons. If I immediately go off the handle saying they're here here and there it'll take away from the mystique... But enough of that. 

I'm going to be torching a few idea's as, when I answer a few implied questions, I'm coming up with a few potential inconsistencies.

You're criticism has been incredibly enlightning and equally inspiring.

Ace Debonair: You're not wrong there. Actually, reading your post I feel I might take it a little deeper with the Warp shenanigans. The whole concept is Chaos Undivided, no specific gods or daemons. So maybe you're onto something, maybe the Singala Cadre should be something unworldly entirely.

See, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I find when numbers begin to get involved that's where heated debates come into question. We'll let the loyalists have their caps, we Chaos chaps will only be limited by our creativity... And what the plot demands. 

I've got dozens of idea's for weird and nefarious means for Chaos to recruit new 'Astarte's', though some are subject to faults here and there. If you want I can PM oodles of idea's to help expand upon their armory, recruiting methodology and other nifty things to help give them a leg up. 

FOR CHAOS!

golfdeltafoxtrot: Right there, what you have is where you, personally, should let yourself stop. Your Chapter is looking pristine, especially this cleaned up version. I'd like to post more suggestions but as it's been said multiple times, we're in the beginning stages. When/if Conn accepts your Chapter and the other factions will be a good place to begin this grand discussion of improvement for everyone. However, I'm thoroughly enjoying what you've got, thus far.

[Fat Necron]

THE DREADED DOUBLE POST!

 

I'm a mediocre typer with only so much time to type. Even though I'd like to dedicate more time on Renegade/Chaos Warband's, it's just not possible. So here's goes another random bout of non-sense!

 

The Scions of the Dawn by Beren

Now here's an interesting bunch. I like the direction you're going with them. From what my understanding this Chapter was designed with a specific purpose; Rapid Response, Shock and Awe, typical Astarte's thing. However, I think the character here comes from the expectation either thrust upon them by others or themselves. It feels like they were given a specific doctrine, and with that doctrine, plus being Astarte's, they were expected to act upon it immediately. What I'm seeing is a blatant over reaching here. There's thousands of worlds constantly in peril, from Frontier Worlds to Hive Worlds. Your Chapter seems to be acting upon its given doctrine and unfortunately leaving themselves very thin. They'll arrive but first they need to cull, not eliminate, twenty other feth-shows on the way to that feth-show. 

It's an interesting direction as the more I think about it the more I wonder how common this is.

Moving on, I'm liking it. The Scions are a well meaning Chapter but woefully undermanned for the task set before them. Your fellow Chapters, presumably not burdened by your Chapters responsibility, view them with disdain. Where were they when [insert city] was ravaged by Orks and so on and so forth. 

 

I can actually even sympathize for them and see where they might go astray. 

 

Personally I feel Conn is correct on this one that a Renegade Chapter might be best for them, however, not exactly this moment. I'd rather watch the Chapter transition, through the course of the Liber Cluster II into Renegades or a full Fledged Chaos Warband but who's to say. 

My only gripes about them is where you end the history. They basically soar off into the void with what I presume is a Monitor Station or Star Fort. Personally I've never been a fan of single Chapters having a base the size of a small moon solely dedicated to them. Feels like a waste but that's my own issue, so take it for what it is.
I'd rather see them as the flexible, rapid response force they're depicted as. You'd have one main battle barge and a small fleet of Escort ships. Say these escort have about twenty or so Marines inside dispatched throughout their designated zones of control. A space fortress doesn't scream flexibility.

Anyway, you could build quite extensively off that. Say individual frigates or escorts, or those together feel inclined to take certain equipment, as mentioned. These same Escorts could indulge aggressive recruiting, trying to account for the attrition rate I'm, YET AGAIN, assuming they endure. 
What was originally a ship of twenty guys returns to the home battle barge with an extra Escort, Frigate or god forbid a cruiser with an additional thirty or so recruits. That regiment/PDF who died valiantly before your arrival weren't using those ever-so precious Plasma or Melta guns grasped in their cold dead fingers... And just keep going from there!

See there's so much room for growth and direction regarding this Chapter I'm not even sure where to begin. I can make all kinds of suggestions to help build on the current idea's, but that it. I do have a few gripes but the only major one is more a personal issue. 

Anyway, I hope you enjoy my gushing, thoughts and suggestions for your Chapter/Traitors.

[Ace Debonair]

Ace Debonair: You're not wrong there. Actually, reading your post I feel I might take it a little deeper with the Warp shenanigans. The whole concept is Chaos Undivided, no specific gods or daemons. So maybe you're onto something, maybe the Singala Cadre should be something unworldly entirely.

I don't know about 'entirely' - I think it'd be good to see behind the curtain here and there, as time goes on.

 

But certainly the Cadre can be - and already are, in my estimation - more than just another Warband. Something that most of the Cluster won't be expecting, and won't be ready for.

 

 

See, you know exactly what I'm talking about. I find when numbers begin to get involved that's where heated debates come into question. We'll let the loyalists have their caps, we Chaos chaps will only be limited by our creativity... And what the plot demands. 

 

I've got dozens of idea's for weird and nefarious means for Chaos to recruit new 'Astarte's', though some are subject to faults here and there. If you want I can PM oodles of idea's to help expand upon their armory, recruiting methodology and other nifty things to help give them a leg up. 

 

FOR CHAOS!

Whilst I am normally a staunch loyalist, I do think somebody is going to need to champion the cause of the Gods in this iteration of the Cluster. So I'll take a seat at the other end of the table for a change.

 

The coming of Chaos - the real, malign, destructive, what-evil-lurks-in-the-hearts-of-men stuff, should leave marks on the Cluster forever.

 

With a few more warbands (mono-god or Undivided, it matters not), we can do exactly that.

 

#MakeTheEnemyGreatAgain

 

 

 

 

Once the submissions for different warbands is complete, I am hoping to expand on the Corsairs' ties to the Dark Mechanicus and all the cool* daemon engines they'll have.

 

For now though, meditate on your ideas. Let's not go too crazy - it's called the Long War because patience is an important part of it.

 

* Read as 'Nightmares given form and hunger, driven mad with their own power and yet made to forcibly serve the commands of Lord Alaxin and the Corsairs'.

[Dizzyeye01]

@ Fat Necron: There was no guilt tripping involved don't worry. I just wanna help those working on their own submissions, no matter if they are a loyalist, traitor or a renegade ;)

 

I am curious though, is there a certain amount of time that will pass before things progress on or will it be until all slots have been filled? I'm just asking since in the last edition of the Cluster there was only ten slots with only chapters being involved in the main spotlight unlike here where there is nearly triple the amount of slots to fill.

[Beren]

@Fat Necron

 

Thanks a tonne for the input. Placing them in transition rather than immediately renegade would be interesting if it's permitted. The aggressive recruiting fits them perfectly. Also, I didn't intend the fortress to actually be that big, and strictly atmospheric. So something like this.

Still, transporting it between planets would prove problematic.

[Ace Debonair]

Just going to point out real quick that the Angels Exultant from the first Liber Cluster thread were envisioned as falling to chaos from the very beginning - I'm quite, quite certain the Scions of the Dawn can transition into the renegade role once we get underway, if you so choose.

 

 

 

As for WHEN things will progress, I am hoping the slots will start to fill up soon - I'm actually a little surprised we haven't had more submissions yet, given how insanely popular the last Cluster thread was at the start.

 

If we don't get any more submissions, though, I'm good for a second warband. Or more, if needs be. It's not like I'm short of ideas...

[Kelborn]

Well then, here's my second draft of the Argent Claws' overall fluff. I did cut out the Scouring stuff and added a bit more on the differences between them and the Codex compliant chapters.

 

 

Argent Claws

 

 

* GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR) - unknown
* FOUNDING - Ultima
* CHAPTER MASTER - High Chieftain Likaani, lord of the patient storm
* HOME WORLD/BASE OF OPERATIONS - Askar (Deathworld within Subsector Sindhi)
* OBSERVED STRATEGIC TENDENCIES - heavy infantry assaults; liberation and eradication operations
* BATTLE CRY - “For the Sky Father!”
* CURRENT STRENGTH - about 600
* KNOWN DESCENDANTS - None

 

"We are the haunting blade and the killing blow

We bring mankind’s foes demise and sorrow."

—    Battle Mantra of the Argent Claws

 

As part of the so-called Liber Founding, the force, later known as the Argent Claws, awoke in an Imperium, which suffered heavily from the opening of the Great Rift. The once promised golden age of the Imperium was a mere fracture of its promised glories. This next generation of Astartes joined the Indomitus Crusade of the newly proclaimed Lord Commander of the Imperium, RobouteGuiliman, acting as his preferred pathfinders and footmanalong with other more specialized forces like the Warbeasts chapter. They soon earned a reputation of grim and remorseless, yet capable and effective warriors, who specialized in heavy infantry tactics. Further, their brothers were said to be well trained, equipped and prepared for every possible battlefield and situation.

 

During the actions of the Indomitus Crusade, while fighting against the rising threat of Chaos, did they develop a certain disdain to some imperial authorities like the Ecclesiarchy. Praising the Emperor as a god, was a clear violation of the Emperor’s teachings, in which they were raised on. Among countless threats, like raging OrkWaaaghs! or the hideous minions of the Dark Pantheon, were the Argent Claws tasked to chase after the so-called Keliax Confederation, a coalition of the of four different Xenos races and human outcasts. After conquering the worlds of the Confederation, where they assigned to the Liber Crusade. After arriving in the distant Liber Cluster and re-establishing contact with local authorities, were they giventhe right of a separate world to call home, Askar, anicyworld hidden deep within the Subsector Sindhi.

 

Within the Liber, they joined fellowship with several other and older chapters like the Scarlet Sentinels or the Black Falcons and expanded their grip over Askar, turning it into a full-grown chapter homeworld. The Argent Claws held close ties to their new brethren of Askar, going on a hunt or whaling along their new mortal relatives when the situation allowed it.

 

Taking a separate path than the Indomitus Crusade led to the development of theirown culture and the forging of their own destiny. They adapted to the culture of Askar’s people, which consisted of hardened and, some might say,grim tribes. Descending from the cold and merciless world ofAskar leaves a mark upon one asAskarwas classified as a deathworld, inhabited by several lethal predators like the amphibious Seawolves or the tall Thornwhales, which are the target of regular occurring whaling of both, the population and the chapter.

Though they still clung to most of the tenets laid down in the second version of the Codex Astartes, which was updated by Lord Guiliman himself, had the Argent Claws developed decisive differences for example did they rather organize their chapter into independently acting squads than in entire companies. These structures were only required for greater battles, in which one overall commanding officer was needed. Other deviations included different naming, i.e. High Chieftain instead of chapter master or, in rare occasions, the deployment of tamed Seawolves, done by their elite Scout units.

 

Distant, grim, wary and savage is what those unfamiliar with the Argent Claws would say about them. However, those, who share a bond with these loners, agreed unexceptionally that the Argent Claws are an embattled brotherhood of survivors characterized by colossal hearts and unshakable resolve.

[Machine God]

I'm working on a Renegades force at the moment, I've just got to wrench it out of my brain and on to the screen.

 

Question: Where is The Deep ?

 

If the Imperium is the Milky Way and the Cluster is underneath it, is The Deep underneath ie Galactic South or does it encompass the Cluster?

[Ace Debonair]

Argent Claws 2.0 gets a big thumbs up from me.

 

Looks like a very solid start for a Chapter in the Cluster, and it'll be fun to see them develop as we go on.

 

 

 

EDIT:

 

I'm unsure exactly where The Deep is in relation to the Cluster.

I'm not sure it's actually been precisely defined.

 

I'd say go with "Underneath the whole Cluster", given it's meant to contain possibly more planets than the Cluster itself.

 

If I'm wrong, we can come up with another cool name for whatever is underneath the bit of the Cluster you want to be under.

Edited March 22, 2018 by Ace Debonair

[Dizzyeye01]

@ Machine God: Personally, the way I've seen the Deep is more like the area of space that surrounds the Liber Cluster as a whole. While there are stable ways into the Cluster that act as tunnels and bypass the Deep. That at least is the way I've viewed it but if that isn't fhe case then fair enough. Either way it'll interesting to see your take on some renegades.

 

@ Kelborn: The Argent Claws look good to me as well. It would be interesting to see how they would fare against the Gravewalkers considering both operate in a similar matter in terms of sqauds.

[Teetengee]

As far as I understood, the deep represents the space beneath the galactic disk (where, by the way, Tyrannids made their entrance.)

As for this whole voidraven thing, before we get too settled on a name, I do want to point out this: https://www.games-workshop.com/en-US/Voidraven-Bomber

[golfdeltafoxtrot]

As for this whole voidraven thing, before we get too settled on a name, I do want to point out this: https://www.games-workshop.com/en-US/Voidraven-Bomber

That’s an inconvenience, but I don’t think it precludes the use of the name.

Alternatives would include Spaceraven or Starraven, but they sound a bit lame.

[Teetengee]

I like starraven, but I agree that it isn't necessarily a showstopper.

[Fat Necron]

The Convergence Anomaly

 

The unknown anomaly dubbed Convergence first occurred months (By Terran Galactic Time) after the Great Rift tore open.

 

Little is known to the nature of this event and what few details are scarce. In the wake of such events small populations of mutants, heretics and abhumans vanish without a trace.

Considered a boon, by some, more weary minds continued to investigate.

A survivor, former PDF Captain Seras Meechilus, a registered Abhuman was discovered as a lone survivor after the Convergence phenomenon.

Her success to infiltrate a heretical cult, at the cost of her sanity, revealed a new terror seeping into the cluster; The Singala Cadre.

 

Below is the only documented encounter the Imperium has had, that they're aware, with The Singala Cadre.

 

 

"Come come, gather and listen for we Shall Be Received."

 

Companionways and narrow corridors were uncomfortably confined by the miserable filth of the mutant. Some were blind, literal iron plates bolted onto the sockets while other wore filthy bandages over their still bleeding wounds. 

 

If not for the whirring yellow klaxons whirring above, the darkness would surely have swallowed the gathered crowd.

 

Fat metal vox speakers were nestled in the corridor corners. "Converge Imminent!" The speakers would pulse with the ominous voice, its depth and bass utterly inhuman. "Convergence Imminent." It repeated again.

 

The crowd bowed their heads before a scaly women. She bore recent las wounds shown by her burnt scales. Rags draped over her shoulders to cover her breasts and more severe wounds. A make-shift skirt was fashioned from tattered sheets and bloodied bandages wrapped her shattered hands.

 

Behind her, strung up on chains, four distinctly human figures hung in crucified fashion. There clean empty eye-sockets were unnerving. Each held their mouths agape to show the crowd their tongues were properly removed; they took solace in this.

 

"Convergence Imminent." 

 

The presumed priestess threw out her arms to embrace her people. "The darkness embraces us where the light has shun us." Rockrete walls began shifting; rust rapidly growing where it should not. "Our divine Emperor does not heed our prayers." The growl of unworldly beasts echo's throughout the shifting chamber and beyond. "He who we've given blood, it which asks for love, the master of puppets who's clipped our strings and the father who's love we've been denied... Has abandoned us." *Tnnk Tnnk Tnnk* Distinct thuds of power armored beings become audible on the grates overhead. 

 

She lets her gaze guide the crowd as they stare, suddenly enraptured. *Hnnngch* They rasp and wheez. Lights blink across the modified power armor. One in particular has no hand, his drum magazine bolter an extension of his mechanical appendage. "Skitarii codifier detected. Engage neural uplink." Immediately another succumbs to sudden spasms as his companions march off, ignorant to his agony.

"Convergence Imminent."

 

As they marched off, the Priestess lowered her head, as does those in attendance. "Singala..." The crowd repeated in unison- Singala. Agonized groans crept from the gaping psykers mouths. Their suspending chains began receding into the ceiling above, where they visibly began to fuse with the dark iron walls.

 

"Receive Us." The crowd repeated- Receive Us "Masters of the Black Iron, demagogues from the outer plains... Receive Us." Receive Us. "Save our children, our elderly, free us from the death above and we shall serve." We Shall Serve. 

 

Bestial sounds from a pack of multi-mouth beasts, more claws and tendrils snapped and cracked in the distance. Heavy chains rattled as the same sounds were shared by the reassuring Singalan Marines.

 

"Convergence Complete."

 

*Tnnk Tnnk Tnnk* Two powered armored figures, one rasping from the tube protruding where his helmet grill once was and another hunched over, his own grill now an oval mouth of serrated fangs. Both were stark contrasts to one another; a Possessed Marine and Living Marine. The Priestess paid them no mind and raised her head to bask in her peoples presence.

 

He who was more Daemon than Astarte's, a fusion of flesh and armored rested his bladed hand on the Priestesses shoulder. Unlike his other kindred, there was a semblance of affection as his beady black eyes scanned the procession. 

 

"You Shall Be Received."

Edited March 24, 2018 by Fat Necron

[Fat Necron]

Dizzyeye: That criticism was more helpful than you might know. I went through the all the documents I've written about the Singala Cadre and scrapped a bunch of them. Somethings didn't really mesh well while others were stretching the lore just a smidgen. Really, you've helped me simplify everything while still maintaining the mystique behind them.

 

I've got a much better direction for them and one that'll mesh brilliantly with other Chaos Warbands. The dozen other incarnations were, for lack of better, needlessly complicated. So I've thrown out a bunch of stuff and left them as a brand new feature to The Liber Cluster! I hope the Chapter commissioned to meet their dark, seedy cousins the best of luck.

 

Ace Debonair: Just so you know, this new iteration is partly inspired by your line are they even real space marines at all' approach adds to the unworldly feel of the warband. Originally speaking, all the Marines were simply that; Marines. However we need more delicious Warpy goodness. No core Chaotic Gods like Khorne and friends, this is wholly me attempting to devise a faction that utilizes the Warp as a single entity, hence, Chaos Undivided. 

 

If my faction is accepted by the Great and Benevolent Conn (There be brown on my nose), we should do some rather devious plotting. These zones of Convergence are the little pockets of safe-space for all those poor, innocent heretics in need. Hehe

Edited March 23, 2018 by Fat Necron

[Machine God]

Jus Naufragii
http://www.bolterandchainsword.com/sm/bpe=0C1F0C&bpj=0C1F0C&bp=0C1F0C&bpc=0C1F0C&hdt=0C1F0C&hdm=0C1F0C&hdl=0C1F0C&ey=0C1F0C&er=0C1F0C&pi=0C1F0C&nk=0C1F0C&ch=0C1F0C&eg=C4BBBB&sk=0C1F0C&abs=0C1F0C&bt=0C1F0C&cod=0C1F0C&ull=0C1F0C&lk=0C1F0C&lll=0C1F0C&lft=0C1F0C&url=0C1F0C&rk=0C1F0C&lrl=0C1F0C&rft=0C1F0C&slt=0C1F0C&sli=0C1F0C&srt=0C1F0C&sri=0C1F0C&ula=0C1F0C&lel=0C1F0C&lla=0C1F0C&lw=0C1F0C&lh=0C1F0C&ura=0C1F0C&rel=0C1F0C&rla=0C1F0C&rw=0C1F0C&rh=0C1F0C&bg=FFFFFF&rb=857272&gr=FFFFFF&wg=true&be=BBBBCC&mk7=333333&mk8=true&tabard=124D13&mk6kn=true&bpr=000000&cs=000000&/spacemarine.jpg

 

Summary:

 

* GENE-SEED (PREDECESSOR) - Unknown - (Mixed gene-seed of different chapters, although a high percentage of which shows Iron Hands descent)

* FOUNDING - Moirae Schism / Primaris

* CHAPTER MASTER - The Wrecker

* HOME WORLD - Unknown world located in The Deep / Fleet-based

* OBSERVED STRATEGIC TENDENCIES - Orbital Assaults, Ship Boarding, Battlefield Reclamation/Looting, Gene-Seed Looting

* BATTLE CRY - "We have come for you!"

* CURRENT STRENGTH - Unknown (Numerous sightings)

* CHAPTER BADGE: None

 

Aid Unlooked For / Aid Unneeded.

 

If Subsector Arrenthal didn't have enough to worry about with Xenos incursions, over the last century a new foe has emerged the Jus Naufragii - The Wreckers. A pirate fleet of considerable size has been hinted at although never seen in its entirety. Like great grey behemoths the ships of the Jus Naufragii have appeared from The Deep in systems plagued by Orks and other Xenos.

 

Initially attacking peripheral targets of outer worlds, moons, asteroids and merchant convoys, the Jus Naufragii have moved on to bigger things. Operating under false flag operations, or using older codes and even as has been theorised by Navigators hiding in the psychic shadow of the Ork Waagh. The Jus Naufragii either turn up before using their older Astartes codes or either during or after an assault by Orks, they will then loot the battlefield of gene-seed, the dead or other war materials before heading home.

 

Despite the arrival of the Indomitus Crusade to bolster the Cluster's defences, the rate of Jus Naufragii attacks has only grown, the most recent attacks are listed below:

 

* Hunterdon Alpha Hives are attacked and juve gangs enslaved.

* Jus Naufragii attack Coral's Veil and seize numerous ocean harvesters and foodstuffs.

* Jus Naufragii simultaneously attack the worlds of Mertyl and Artanias under false flag, momentarily halting the Ork incursions and then loot the battlefield.

* Jus Naufragii attack the Kriiis homeworld with an orchestrated atomic and mass-driver bombardment and then mysteriously leave.

 

Inquisitorial Report:

 

What lies in the depths of space that could change a noble chapter of Astartes to become pirates and not turn them to Chaos? The Jus Naufragii are a nuisance and all captured specimens have self-terminated. Gene-seed examination can clearly show that even though they are of a mixed lineage there is a high mix of Red Talons and Brazen Claws gene stock present in these renegades. It is theorised that they are a band of Moirae Schism survivors that would eventually have become the Sons of Medusa and that they travelled to the Liber Cluster to get away from their parent chapters during the later years of the Schism. Despite their unwholesome practises there are no indications of any chaotic influences apart from their bionic peccadilloes. It has been noted that Primaris Astartes have been sighted within their numbers although whether these are purestrain Primaris or hybrid is yet to be established.

ADDENDUM: Whether they are prone to attack / render aid to systems harried only by the Orkoid genus is purely speculative at this time. Further examination of this threat is needed.

 

Thought for the day: Although there is always a bigger fish The Emperor will always be watching!

Edited July 5, 2018 by Machine God
Fixed the image

[Machine God]

 

There's not enough Chaos Undivided, which much like Zero-G, is another underappreciated aspect of 40K... Well, not as neglected as Zero-G. Now I'm wondering why there isn't more Zero-G scenes in novels or battles.

 

 

Emperors Gift has a great zero-g battle I think there is a bit of it in Know No Fear aswell Chaos Undivided is also the best Chaos

@Fat Necron & Reymer - There is a great Zero-G battle in Ferrus Mannus: The Gorgon of Medusa, their opponents the Gaardinal have specially bred a zero-g fighter caste.

 

 

As part of the so-called Liber Founding, the force, later known as the Argent Claws, awoke in an Imperium, which suffered heavily from the opening of the Great Rift. The once promised golden age of the Imperium was a mere fracture of its promised glories. This next generation of Astartes joined the Indomitus Crusade of the newly proclaimed Lord Commander of the Imperium, RobouteGuiliman, acting as his preferred pathfinders and footmanalong with other more specialized forces like the Warbeasts chapter. They soon earned a reputation of grim and remorseless, yet capable and effective warriors, who specialized in heavy infantry tactics. Further, their brothers were said to be well trained, equipped and prepared for every possible battlefield and situation.

 

During the actions of the Indomitus Crusade, while fighting against the rising threat of Chaos, did they develop a certain disdain to some imperial authorities like the Ecclesiarchy. Praising the Emperor as a god, was a clear violation of the Emperor’s teachings, in which they were raised on. Among countless threats, like raging OrkWaaaghs! or the hideous minions of the Dark Pantheon, were the Argent Claws tasked to chase after the so-called Keliax Confederation, a coalition of the of four different Xenos races and human outcasts. After conquering the worlds of the Confederation, where they assigned to the Liber Crusade. After arriving in the distant Liber Cluster and re-establishing contact with local authorities, were they giventhe right of a separate world to call home, Askar, anicyworld hidden deep within the Subsector Sindhi.

 

Within the Liber, they joined fellowship with several other and older chapters like the Scarlet Sentinels or the Black Falcons and expanded their grip over Askar, turning it into a full-grown chapter homeworld. The Argent Claws held close ties to their new brethren of Askar, going on a hunt or whaling along their new mortal relatives when the situation allowed it.

 

Taking a separate path than the Indomitus Crusade led to the development of theirown culture and the forging of their own destiny. They adapted to the culture of Askar’s people, which consisted of hardened and, some might say,grim tribes. Descending from the cold and merciless world ofAskar leaves a mark upon one asAskarwas classified as a deathworld, inhabited by several lethal predators like the amphibious Seawolves or the tall Thornwhales, which are the target of regular occurring whaling of both, the population and the chapter.

@Kelborn - Please see above missed out spaces.

 

 

The Singala Anamoly

 

The presumed priestess through out her arms to embrace her people. "The darkness embraces us where the light has shun us." Rockrete walls began shifting; rust rapidly growing where it should not. "Our divine Emperor does not heed our prayers." The growl of unworldly beasts echo's throughout the shifting chamber and beyond. "He who we've given blood, it which asks for love, the master of puppets who's clipped our strings and the father who's love we've been denied... Has abandoned us." *Tnnk Tnnk Tnnk* Distinct thuds of power armored beings become audible on the grates overhead. 

@Fat Necron - I think you meant to type threw.

[Kelborn]

Thanks, guys.

Seems like the format screwed up while copying from Word.

 

Happy to see that it's decent enough. :)

 

And yeah, a battle between the Claws and the Wardens could be interesting!

[Conn Eremon]

I am curious though, is there a certain amount of time that will pass before things progress on or will it be until all slots have been filled? I'm just asking since in the last edition of the Cluster there was only ten slots with only chapters being involved in the main spotlight unlike here where there is nearly triple the amount of slots to fill.

 

Yes, a time-frame will be imposed to ensure momentum is retained, but not quite yet. What I am considering at this time is to allow those who have already provided one manner of contribution to also contribute in one of the other categories, in addition to those returning veterans who had contributed one of the original Chapters. This would still leave openings, but ultimately I am okay with that. It'd allow blank slots for latecomers to join in, as well as being a call-back to the blank slates often left in canon lore.

 

Last thread we received 15 submissions within the week, and a few others still had shown interest but disappeared once slots were no longer available, which is why I doubled it this time. The response this time has been equally enthusiastic, but not as numerous. This suits me just fine, as it's the enthusiasm that was the more valuable.

 

We'll give it a further week before I start making changes. In the meantime, the activity I'm seeing is fantastic. I'm currently collating everyone's most current work to eventually be added to the lore pages up front, and will update the roster once finished.