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Which chaos god is the sportiest?


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Let's look at this in depth and see which god is actually the most fit/sporty.

 

1. Nurgle

 

He's fat, out of shape, feeds his kids waaaaayyy too much food, and spends most of his time sitting around a cauldron cooking food for his waifu. And you know that with each batch, he has to "taste test" it a little. He never really leaves the house and spends his free time watering his garden.

 

2. Tzeentch

 

He's skinny so that's at least an improvement over Nurgle. However, he spends most of his time making Ruth Goldberg-esque plans, playing chess, and trolling Magnus. He's a big nerd that spends his free time playing Interdimensional-Hyper-Vostroyan-Strip-Poker or reading, or some combination of the two.

 

3. Khorne

 

The god of blood and skulls is also the god of overall laziness it seems. In all of 40k, there's only one rumored time that Khorne actually got up from his chair. ONE. TIME. Other than that one time, all he's done is sit in one place for millennia and shout at his kids to do better. He's like that one dad that "doesn't have enough energy" to play catch with his kids, but has enough energy to shout at them to do better during a baseball game. All he really does is sit in one place and count his skulls (making him a closet nerd).

 

3. Slaanesh

 

The god of excess is arguably also the god of exercise. How else do you think that Slaanesh got the perfect figure? It certainly wasn't by sitting in one place and cooking food. It wasn't by spending all its time trolling people on the internet. It definitely wasn't by raging about getting more skulls while sitting in one place. You see, Slaanesh is a go-getter. She sees some nice food, and she goes and gets it. Slaanesh has even been self sufficient since the time she was an infant.

Meh.... I think Khorne is quite sporty. He holds tournaments all the time and the one time he did get up every other god was afraid him. He is the pinch hitter/pitcher that you call in when the sh** has hit the fan and you want to win.

he beat up slaanesh while (s)he was still just an infant, asked for Nurgle's help to beat up Tzeentch, and never fought Nurgle. Far from definitive. Also, Slaanesh holds just as many tournaments focused around gladatorial combat. There's no doubt that Khorne is one of the two sportiest, but I don't think he's number one.

 

Meh.... I think Khorne is quite sporty. He holds tournaments all the time and the one time he did get up every other god was afraid him. He is the pinch hitter/pitcher that you call in when the sh** has hit the fan and you want to win.

he beat up slaanesh while (s)he was still just an infant, asked for Nurgle's help to beat up Tzeentch, and never fought Nurgle. Far from definitive. Also, Slaanesh holds just as many tournaments focused around gladatorial combat. There's no doubt that Khorne is one of the two sportiest, but I don't think he's number one.

Bad news for you. Those Slaaneshi tournaments aren't Gladatorial Combat, exactly...

Its a tie between Slannesh and Khorne. 

 

For Raw Strength? Khorne, of course. Martial prowess and strength are his calling cards both of which require fitness. 

 

But.....Slannesh..... Speed, agility, maybe gymnastics and archery type deals would be all about Slannesh (being more lithe then buff, given she/he was born from Eldar souls) 

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