Index Xenos: Kurnel Baddakka's Panza Brigade

[Evil Eye]

Wot'z dis? Ya ain't nevva 'urd of da Baddakka Panza Brigade? Well dis won't do! Sit down, get yerself a noice bowl of Squiggetti Bolognayz and lissen up, dis is a gud wun...

 

Da Orrijinz:

So once upon a time dere wuz a lickle planet called Garok. Kinda zogged up planet really, it wuz mostly pretty hot an' dry, but dere wuz sum bitz of it wot were very cold, an' uvver bitz wot were really green an' leafy. Really it wuz bit of everyfing I suppose, but anywayz, dat's not wut made it zogged up. So dere wuz all deez pointy monyooments an' fings all over da planet, and weird stuff 'appened around 'em. Like, sometimes da sky just turned red and it started raining teef, or da ground started skreemin' at us, and even every now an' again dere wuz deez ded killy monsta fings wut popped outta thin air and started krumpin' stuff. But dat's not important at da moment- for most of dis story dem weird fings wasn't 'appening every often anywayz. Dere 'ad been humies dere, but most of 'em had sodded off, tho dey did leave behind sum of dere wagons (which is important).

 

Dere wuz once an Ork tribe called da Red Choppaz, livin' in da Toofdust Desert, dessended from Blood Axes wot settled dere ages ago. Rather ickle tribe it wuz, but it 'ad sum roight gud mekboyz. Dey kould fix anyfing, for teef. Da tribe wuz ruled by da Mek Boss Graygear- 'e wuz kalled dat cuz 'e wuz very old an' very wize or sumfing. Sum sade he were a wizeguy, but 'e were roight smart. 'E knew dat da tribe wuz too small to go fightin' da bigga tribez, so 'e sided wiv 'oever paid da most teef an' 'e'd fix dere gear an' maybe send a few boyz ta 'elp 'em in da skwabblez. 'E nevva picked sides, but 'e nevva turned down a gud offer neither. Roight smart bloke 'e was.

 

Anywayz, one day sum zoggin' stoopid tribe called Burk's Basha Boyz sez dat we dun fixed dere gubbins wrong. Dat can't be right, sez Graygear, 'e alwayz fixes da gubbinz right. Well, Burk 'imself deklares war on da Red Choppaz! Poor Graygear bites it early on, an' da tribe is made bossless! Tragic, innit?

 

Fortunately, sum uvver tribez 'elp da Red Choppaz as a gesture of fankfulness, but da Basha Boyz is a big tribe- da biggest in da area, an' really tuff! Da Red Choppaz an' dere alliez is pushed back, until it looks like da game is up.

 

And dat's where da boss comes in. Squigsquasha was 'is name, just a regular boy, but not just ANY regular boy. See, he an' his frend, da Mekboy Treddhedd, are pretty smart, an' dey'z been 'avin ideaz. Treddhedd had an' idea fer a new type of battlewagon which 'e got from lookin' at da broken humie wagons behind da mek shop. “'Ere, Squiggy my mate” he used ta say. “Wut if we took a battlewagon but took da wheelz off, put an 'arder 'ard case on it an' put a really big shoota on it?” Most of da boyz laffed at 'im, but not Squigsquasha. “Dat sounds like a gud idea!” 'e replied. “In fakt, 'ow about a WAAAGH! dat wuz made almost only outta battlewagons, like da wun you just came up wiv? Dem ovva boyz wouldn't expect it!”.

 

So as da war looks like it's gone 'orribly wrong, Squigsquasha an' Treddhedd get da grotz and da mekboyz togevver an' start workin' on some flash new battlewagons. Sum of dem use sum parts from abandoned humie tankz, but dey iz mostly original gubbinz 'cuz da old humie tankz is so old an' rusty. Finally dey haz lodz of dem, all diffrent shapes an' sizes. Dere's big 'uns for da nobs, little 'uns for da grotz, an' finally da really, really big wun dat da boss kalls da “King Stripey-Squig”. 'Im an' Treddhedd kall da new wagons “Da Panzakrumpwagons” or “Panzas” for short.

 

So overnight 'e getz da tanks all set up an' tested, an' he hides dem around da junkyard. Den 'e tellz da new boss about his kunnin' plan. Da new boss tells da Basha Boyz to meet dem in da junkyard in front of da mek shop, to diskuss da surrenda termz. Da Bashaz akchooally agree, an' dey comes over expectin' ta give da remainin' Red Choppaz a good krumpin'.

 

So da boss Burk is standin' outside da mek shop waitin' fer da boss to come out.

“Come on out ya kowardly grot!” he yellz.

 

“Awright, 'ere I comes, yer rotten git!” comes back an angry voice wot definitely isn't da Red Choppaz' boss...

 

Den an enjin starts up, an' out of da mek shop rolls Squigsquasha in his King Stripey-Squig! Before Burk can say anyfing, da Stripey-Squig blows 'im up an' rolls over da remainz! Den da uvver boyz in dere tankz comes outta hiding an' splatters da rest of da Basha Boyz!

 

Now da Basha Boyz is bossless, an' dey falls into disarray. Dey get a new boss, but it's too late. Squigsquasha an' Treddhedd have started buildin' more Panzaz an' now dey'z attakkin' da remainin' Basha Boyz back!

 

Befoor long, wurd gets out about da ickle tribe wot stood up to da Basha Boyz, an' tribez of all sizez start followin' da Red Choppas! Da Basha Boyz is stomped, and da Red Choppas bekumms da top tribe on Garok!

 

So anywayz, everyfink's goin' well, when suddenly dem point monyooment fings start playin' up. Dey makes sum weird noizez, an' outta fin air comes deez deemon gitz! Dey'z all sortsa weird kolors, and dey lookz roight weird too- lods of squiggly beasties wiv horns an' stingas, lods of odd deemon tartz wiv snappy klawz an' not many klovez, an' sum really really big beastiez!

Sum uvva Orks woulda ran, but Squigsquasha wuz like “Roight, time ta send deez deemon tartz back ta where'z dey came from!”. So he getz da boyz ready for a proper WAAAGH! and sendz 'iz full force uv panzas against da deemons! Lods of tankz get wrekked but in da end, da monyoomentz is krumped and da deemons get stomped!

 

So Squigsquasha is roight angry 'kuz da deemons skratched da paint on da King Stripey-Squig, so he declarez a WAAAGH! against hooevver sent da deemonz. 'e renamez 'imself “Kurnel Squigsquasha Baddakka” and bekummz da new Warboss for da Red Choppaz, now named da Baddakka Panza Brigade. Dey gavvers da uvver tribez up an' buildz sum space rokkits, an' dey travvulz inta space!

Da Boyz:

We'z lead by da boss 'imself, Kurnel Squigsquasha Baddakka. He'z a roight klever Ork, dedd kunnin' he is. He ain't da biggest Ork ever but you'd betta not misundaestimate 'im. I fink dat's a word. He's dedd tuff an' vishuss. Uvver Orks might just nokk ya over da head, but Squigsquasha will punch ya in da goolies wivvout hesitatin'. But he's not a bad Ork, 'e looks afta 'is own. He's got an obzeshun wiv taktiks an' strattejee. 'e studdeez da uvver boyz' taktiks an' yoozes dem agenst demselvez, an' he reeds a lot uv looted books from da 'oomies. Well, some say he just lookz at da pretty pikturs but it seems to work. He'z no slouch in a scrap but he prefers ta lead from his King Stripey-Squig "Kommand Panza", tho 'e does like ta drive kloser so 'e can hit 'em wiv his choppa. His biggest weekness is dat he takes forvevva ta fink of planz, and if sumfink goes wrong he doezn't always know how ta adjust his strattajee.

Da Kurnel'z best buddy is Big Mek Treddhedd, AKA "Da Tankboss". He can build a panza outta anyfink- skrap metal, looted 'oomie veerkles, bitz of tree, dem floaty skwiggly tankz da knife-earz use...He even once built a panza outta da remainz of wun of doze Tyranid squiggas! It smellz a bit but it wurkz! He'z a jolly gud Ork, an' he'z loyal ta da Kurnel as they come. He'z a bit eksentrik though, 'e only buildz fings wot he finks is "Tanky". So 'e does build Kans an' Dreddz, but wiv trakks instedd of legz.

Baddakka also haz wot he kallz "Da Eleet Four", his best generalz an' advisers.

Dere'z Oddkogz, who'z da head uv soience. Whilst Treddhedd buildz da Panzas, Oddkogz makes new shootas an' arma materiulz for dem. He's a bit wurr but 'iz noggin is in da roight place.

Dere'z "Laffin' Git" Choplin, who'z da head uv sumfink 'e kallz "proppagander" as in "'av a gander at dis proppa Orky enteraynment!". He convinces da uvver Ork tribes ta ally wiv da Panza Brigade, an 'e keepz da Boyz happy wiv his Komedy Rooteen. Dedd funny it is!

Den dere'z Skullskuttle da Blakk Widdo, who'z a bit...odd. She'z one uv a weird batch a myootant Orkz who kall demselvez "Da Gurlz". Nobody knowz 'ow dat 'appened but it did, an' deyz every bit as tuff an' killy as any Boy so dey'z alright. Anywayz, she'z a master uv "psyko WAAAAGHfare," an' she 'elps da Kurnel use taktiks wot skare da dropz outta da enemy. She'z a bit skary though, even for a gurl. Too many eyez, an' she "likez da hurtin'".

Finally dere'z Blingfist da Banka, head uv supply. He wuz a Grot once, but 'e wuz so good at makin' tradez an' gettin' teef dat he managed ta buy 'imself a brain transplant into a spare Ork body! Well 'e sez it's spare anyway. He getz all da fundz for da WAAAGH! an makes sure da Panza Brigade doezn't go over somefink he kallz "Da Budjitt". No idea wot dat iz.

Den dere'z da rest of da Brigade. Dere'z not a huge amount ov dem but dere'z enuff dat I can't remember dem all. Notable onez is Choppa Sooey da cook, who makez da best nom-nomz ever, Sprogg Squigtailz an da uvver gurlz, Bakkakk Burdbusta who'z in charge ov da Flakka-Dakka-Trakkas, an' Mad Dok Kronchtoof, who'z aktyooally not dat bad a dok...or 'e wouldn't be if his hands wud stop shakin'.

Organizayshun:

Most of da boyz ridez on Panzaz- da only wunz who don't are da speshulists like da Tankbustaz an' Kommandoz. Even da regyoola boyz ridez in speshul armered trukkz wot don't even look like trukkz anymore. Da nobz ride in "kommand wagonz" an' of kourse da Boss ridez in da King Stripey-Squig. Our kolorz are a wurr mix uv khaki an purple- da Kurnel sez da khaki is 'ard ta see an' wiv da purple our panzas is almost as kunnin' as Mork! Aktual formayshunz...I 'unno, ask 'im.

Alliez:

We'z buddies wiv Orkfredd von Rikktoffen an' da Flyin' Circus. Dey'z da best flyboiz in da Segmentum Obscurus, wiv lodz of Stormboyz an' every kind uv flyin' machine from da proppella biplaynz ta da "Orkish Elektrik Zapp" intasepptor jet. 'e providez air support for da panzas an' we defend da air bases. Simple!

Enemiez:

We'z ded angry wiv da Leejun uv Voice, da pink spiky boyz led by da panzy Pattrokyluss or whateva da name wuz. 'e keepz tryin' ta rebuild dem monyoomentz on da homewurld, which we izn't too happy about!

Faymuss deedz:

We krumped an entire blue fishyboy army wiv our Panzas, took out da kommand battulsoot an' dey ran away! Da boss luvved da big stompy soots though, an' wanted ta kongratyoolate da fishboyz on dere "marvulz ov engineerin'" wotever dat means. But da fishboyz wuz just fish paste, so dat sukked. So we made da sootz into more Panzas instedd. Also we krumped lots of lesser Ork tribes, an even outsmarted Brainbasha da Smartypantz an' his Finkyboyz, but dat's anuvva story.

Kurrent Affairz:

We'z in a bit of a slog at da moment, da Deff Gard wot kall demselvez da Kongregashun of Filf started mukkin' about wiv us an' we is in a stalemate wiv dem. Hopefully da reinforsementz we kalled for arrive soon...

[Ace Debonair]

'Ow as dis 'ad no replies yet?

 

Dis is sum dedd gud story-in', I'm tellin' ya.

Does me gud to see some proppa Orky story-in' bein' done, an' I ain't even really dat green!

 

 

...'Ere, dis accent's con-tay-jus.

[Brother Cambrius]

I look forwards to reading through this one on my lunch break tomorrow. My colleagues might be a little concerned when if this Ork-speak contagion affects my speech with patients. :lol:

 

Cambrius 

[Messor]

This is too fun.

[Brother Lunkhead]

Dat wuz sum suppa tellin' fer shur Great story, well thought out, well written, and fun to read

[Evil Eye]

Roight, so da boss dun told me ta' tells yer even more stuff abowt da WAAAGH! So, 'ere we go!

First off, turns out “Panza” is ackyually short fer “Panzy-Krumpin'-Wagon”, I fink I got dat wrong da first time round, if da thump I got from da boss is anyfink to go by.

Sekkundly, eech tank getz two sekshuns- da deskription an' a bit in da spoila wot deskribez 'ow ter build it an' wot yer kould run it as. E'z a bit ekk-sen-trikk so be warned, sum ov da ideaz an' notez might seem a bit odd.

Furdly, da boss duzn't 'ave da Kodex, so 'e might not know all da ins-n-owts uv da rulez. Dis is more fer inspirayshun fer bosses wot need more tankz ravver dan konkreet rulez.

Anywayz, 'ere's sum uv da tankz we haz...

Zzzapptrakk Shokkpanza: Dis wun's a medium tank, an' it's ravva fast! Dis nutty tank 'as a tellyporta, so da panzies get da dropz skared roight out when da tank pops outta nowear! Dey'z got da rokkit rakks fer blowin' fings up, but da biggest shoota is da Tezler Kannon, wich is roight zappy an' fries anyfink!  Only problum is, da big Tellyport Enjin gets a bit toasty, wich can kause fires...

Akkordin' to da rulez, dis is just a Shokkjump Dragsta made more tanky, if yer wants ta play da Baddakka Panza Brigade on da tablez. Da boss sez it should be modulled wiv da Tezler Kannon on a turrit, an' shouldd be proppa tanky but it needs da big enjin or else it ain't proppa!

Turbotrakk Drillpanza: Ah, dis wun's my favrit! Basikally, da meks took da bitz from a krashed Orkish Elektrik Zapp Dakkajet wot krashed an' put da spinjet in a tank chassis to make it more killy an' get more powah to an 'eavier tank. But da boss thought “Wait, dere be sum good spinnin' goin' ter waste wiv dat enjin, wot if we put a big drill on da frunt?” an' so he took a regular 'eavy tank an' made it into a big drilla! Now it kan chew throo anyfing, an' it's still got da rapid-fire rokkit gun wiv ko-aksial shootas! It's a bit 'eavy but it's a roight good tank.

Rulezewize dis is a Megatrakk Scrapjet, tho if yer wants ter be really fluffy yer kould limit its speed to represent da 'eavy weight. Modellin' wize, it's a big drill tank powered by a turbine, ravva than a jet on wheels wiv a drilla kone. Da boss sed sumfing about “anny may” fer inspirayshun, wotever dat is.

Dakkatrakk Flashpanza: Dakka dakka dakka! Lotz of it! Dis is a fast movin' lite tank wiv da big Gatler Gun on da turrit an' sum nifty burny bomm launchas on da sidez. It'z not da 'eaviest armored fing in da garage but it moovs roight fast fer a tank an' da dakka it 'as is quoite sumfink! Also it can spew out da exhawst fumes as a smokescreen, which is noice! Gud fing too, cuz uvverwize da fing getz blown ta bitz from wun shot.

So it'z basically da Boomdakka Snazzwagon but tank flaver. Not dat dere's anyfink wrong wiv dat! Also da boss sez dat da burny bomms should be lobbed from launchas and not freeloadin' Burna Boyz, for wot itz wurf.

Snakkatrakk Squigpanza: Wen yer needz squigs fer da WAAAGH! dis is da tank fer da job. Dis fing karries enuff squigs fer any job, an' itz a gud way ov gettin' da food to da frunt line. Orijinally it wuz just a lunch wagon on trakks but den we reelized da garbage dispozal shoota chute wuz gud fer lobbin' manky squigz wot yer kan't eat at da enemy! So it'z not just a gud nom-nom veerkle, it's a gud weppun too!

Apparently dis is just a tankier Rukkatrukk Squigbuggy, but da boss sez if yer wantz ter modul it yer should make it look like a cross between a food vendin' wagon an' a tank. Sumfink abowt it puttin' da “kull” in “kullinary” wotever dat meenz.

Burnatrakk Boostpanza: Roight, so, dis wun's a bit ov an odd wun. It'z not teknikally a burna tank but da boosty gubbinz get so hot dat da fing's smokestakks blast out da flamez all round it, an' just bein' next to it can set yer on fire! It'z ded killy but it'z 'ard ta kontrol cuz ov da boostas. Also it'z got da Big Slugga on da turrit, but most ov da tanka krew just like ta run da foez ova an' set 'em on fire wiv da boostas. It does make a big boom if it getz shot tho...

Yeh, it'z a Kustom Boosta-Blasta made into a tank. How'd yer guess?

Morktank Kustom Mega-Panza: An 'uge tank wiv a big shiny plazma kannon an' a kustom force field fer protectin' da boyz (an' gurlz) nearby! It 'as rokkits, shootas an' lotza choppy killy bitz too, an' even up klose it's roight skary, so keeps yer distanse unless yer wanna be krumped! It's so big dat da boss ridez wun kalled da “King Stripey-Squig”, wot he'z 'ad fer ages, an' it's da pride 'n' joy uv da WAAAGH!

Modellin' wize, take yer favourite big tank an' give it a big kustom plazma kannon an' force field gubbinz. Da King Stripey-Squig's ravver obvious wot it's based on, but if yer wantz a diffrunt wun den make it look loik worrever tank yer want! Rulezwize it's just a Morkanaut.

Gorktank Kustom Dakka-Panza: Very simla to da Morktank (same chassis an' all), but wivout da force field an; instedd uv da plazma kannon it 'as da giga-gattler dakka kannon! Dis makes it roight good fer splatterin' bugz an' 'umiez and wotnot, an' itz very good agenst enemy flyboyz!

As it's basikally a tanky Gorkanaut, it'z pretty self-eksplanatory on how yer model da fing. Dat said, it doesn't 'ave to look egzaktly da same as da Morktank but wiv different weaponz, so feel free to go a bit mad!

Gunpanza Tankettez: Dese is ravver simple, deyz' mek gunz stukk on small tank hullz so dey kan get about eazier! Not very big, an ravver weak but dey'z better than 'avin grots babysittin' artillery piecez!

You kould probably just run dese as Mek Gunz if yer didn' want ter homebrew anyfink, but dey'z ded eazy ter homebrew anywayz, as they're just self prupelled vershuns uv da Mek Gunz.

Landkrooza Gigapanza: Dis is abowt as big as it getz! Da boss 'ad da idea dat Stompas, kool as dey are, kould be made bigga an' fasta on trakks ravver dan legz. Dis went as yer might expekt, until da Stompa projekt woz basikally just a roight big tank. Sum klanz might sneer an' say it ain't a proppa Stompa, but Landkroozas kan go kwikka an' karry more gunz (sumfink abowt “wait dis-tree-byooshun”?) an' dey shut up pretty fast when dey seez it in akshun, 'speshully if dey getz in da way!

A Landkrooza just 'az ter be a big, big, big tank! It'z intended to reprezent a Stompa, so bear dat in mind when yer arm it- yer kould be lazy an' just put trakks on a Stompa kit if yer really wonted.

All da tankz from dis point on are meant to be eivva 'omebrewed, or da boss doesn't know wot ta' run 'em as, not 'avvin' da kodex ta hand an' all.

Bowelburna Gaspanza: Gah, dis wun smells bad! Da boss had da idea uv puttin' a burna tank togevva but instedd uv regyoola burny juice, it shootz nasty goo taken from da dropz pits an' sets it on fire! A result iz dat it melts most fings into sludge an' anyfink wot breeves in da smoke pukes dey'z guts out! It's not very popyoola wiv da boyz tho, workin' on it ain't fun becuz it smells so bad an' it just ain't nice.

Modellin' wize it'z a big kemikal weaponz tank, maybe loot some Nurgley bitz? I 'as no idea how yer would run dis fing wivvout 'omebrew but yer could maybe run it as a Skorcha trakk? Or maybe a Super-Skorcha Big-Trakk? In any event it'z loosely based on da old Epic unit.

Lungbursta Noizepanza: Oh no, my earz! Da gurls luv dis wun, wiv itz big Noizyboom Kannon wich letz it krumple da panzies wiv raw sound. Dey skreem into da mikrofone an' it amplifyz it into a sonik shokkwave wot kan implode a tank or turn spess mareenz inta paste! We boyz ain't so keen on it 'cuz we always get 'eadaches from it. An' itz alwayz painted in da bright kolorz fer sum reezun. It'z a big 'un too, it can transport da gurlz ta get da choppin' on.

Despite bein' based loosely on da old Epic fing, da boss sez it's sumfink like a “Char B1 Bis” wiv a sonik kannon instead uv da howitza an' a “subwoofa” in da turret. Also krewed by gurlz instedd uv boyz. Dis 'as no rulez but yer could maybe proxy it as a battlewagon?

Brainkrusha Psychopanza: Da gurlz 'as dun it again! It'z a big tank wagun wiv da Brainkrusha gun, wot firez da “Wurrpulsa Shellz”. Deez numbahs make a small rip in da fabrik uv reelspace an' very breefly let da Warp in. It's not open fer more dan a milisekund but it's enuff ta blow stuff up real good, an' anyfink wot is even klose to da warp-boom goez mad from da 'orrible squiggly stuff on da uvver side. Da tank itself is like a big lobba, like dem 'umie basilisk fings. Skullskuttle da Blakk Widdo wuz da wun to come up wiv da idea, sayin' “she likez it wen da humies does da Loony Dance”.

Dis wun is also based on da old Epic model, but dis is basikally a looted Basilisk gun stukk on da big chassis an' loaded wiv da Wurrpulsa Shellz. Not sure about da big tower on it. Also like a Lungbursta krewed by da gurlz.

Bubbleblasta Pulsepanza: Da much-underrated Bubblechukka got an upgrade as da Bubbleblasta, wot firez bigga, more powaful force bubblez (fanks Oddkogz!). So Baddakka sed “Put it on a tank!” an' so we did! It'z a bit slow and 'eavy fanks to da big round kast hull, but it'z dedd 'ard too! Sometimez, da boyz gets bored waitin' fer da tank ter crawl along tho, so dey pointz da Bubbleblasta at da ground an' pullz da trigga, launchin' da tank into da air an' hopefully landin' in one piece!

Aside from da Bubbleblasta, da most notable feechur uv da Pulsepanza is da kast hull. Da boss sez dat Bubble Tankz gotta be round, so bear dat in mind!

Arsemangla Kwikkpanza: An 'appy akksident, da Arsemangla (stop laffin' yer gitz) wuz wot 'appened wen da grots put da extra bitz on a looted Leman Russ bakkwuds, so da frunt uv da tank wuz da bakk. As it 'appened tho, da boss luvved it an' had da uvver looted tanks konverted da same way! Fer sum reezun it'z a bit kwikker dan normal, an' it has two big gunz, one on da hull an' one on da turrit!

Sumwot inspired by da “M3 Grant” worrevva dat is, it'z pretty self-eksplanatooree. Yer take da Leman Russ, turn it backwards, spin da turrit around an' put a big offset sponson in da hull wiv a real big gun in it. Oh, also it needz a big enjin, wot wiv it bein' ded kwikk!

Gutrippa Klawpanza: So, da boss 'ad an idea- if da tankz get too klose to da enemy, dey might hit 'em wiv anti-tank weppunz an' wrekk 'em. So 'e made a tank wot kan fight back! Da Gutrippa iz a fast medium tank wiv a big enjin, a light turrit wiv double Big Shootas, an' a pair uv power klawz on da front! It'z a bit klumzy but it workz a wonda agenst da infantree!

Based on a old Epic model, Da Gutrippa izn't too big, an' it'z kwite fast, so really yer kould take yer favorite smallish-ter-medium tank, give it a big enjin an' put sum Killa Kan or Deff Dredd klawz up on da front an' yer in business! Da boss rekommendz a “Matilda”.

Gobsmasha Boompanza: Da Gobsmasha izn't our idea- da orijinz ov da tank lie wiv da Burnin' Foot boyz ov Warboss Zagskar. Da orijinalz were big gunz on ravver fast big-wheeled wagonz, but da problem wuz dat dey put all da gunz on da front, an' bein' on wheelz it kan't turn on da spot. So Zagskar goez to da Baddakka Panza Brigade an' sez “Kan yer 'elp me fix me Gobsmashas? I'll give yer lodz ov teef if yer doez.”. So anyway, da Big Shootas wot were on da front are put in mini-turritz up top, an' da wheelz iz swopped out fer trakkz! Dis makes it better to aim, an' meanz it don't 'ave to turn da 'ole tank round to shoot da smalla gunz at infantree!

Basikally da Epic model given a tanky upgrade, yer kould use da “Sturmtiger” fer inspiration, as dey iz both big gunz stukk on tank bodiez.

Fleshboila Plasmapanza: A variant ov da Gobsmasha, wot replayses da big Gobsmasha Cannon wiv an 'uge Plasma Howitza! Pretty simple really.

You daft git, do yer really need tellin' how ta make dis wun? Just look at da Gobsmasha entry!

 

Anywayz, da boss sez da King Stripey-Squig needz da torshun barz lookin' at so I'd best get a move on! Until next time, boyz!