DIY blog: "Astral Templar"

[BattleBrother446]

+++ EDIT 1 +++

If anyone knows why this post is on a white background ... let me know what I did wrong?

+++ EDIT 2 +++

I cleaned up and re-arranged the entries, and polished a bit more of their story

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So -- I am back into the hobby first time since 4th ed. Seems like a bad time to start collecting "Space Marines" as Primaris looks to be taking over the scene with new releases trickling out.

Anyway, it is what it is, and I decided to stop lurking and start posting.

This is to be a development blog for my own chapter of Space Marines, tentatively named the Astral Templar. I say tentatively because during a recent brainstorm I came up with the name, which I finally felt encompassed the feeling I wanted for the chapter. Once I was set on it, I googled it, you know, just to be sure... and found it already taken by some Age of Sigmar nonsense.

Anyway, this first post is more of a 'slapping a lump of clay on the wheel' to get my thoughts out and begin to form a them into something useful. I hope the Liber can help me work out some easy 'seconds', to continue the clay analogy, and focus me down to the good stuff.

CHAPTER NAME

First, some options:

- Astral Templar, Astral Hawks, Astral Stalkers, Celestial Guard, Astral Vigilants, Blazing Templar, Marines Resplendant, Ardent Templar, Radiant Templar, Viridian Templar (still working on the colour scheme -- if my palette choices work this name might be a good Plan B ), Fulgent Guard, Stellar Guard, Astral Marines.

You can see what I am going for here...

THEME

The chapter has no real 'theme' -- I just wanted to have my own chapter to paint in my own colours. In table top terms, it is easier to change tactics if you don't stamp your troops as ultramarines -- a DIY chapter's tactics can be changed if I end up not liking something, etc.

However, the chapter's notable characters will be given Hatian/Creole names. A brief list to draw from for forthcoming fiction: Eleuterio, Damas, Casimiro, Camilien, Basilos, Anselm, Telmac, Vidal, Ulger, Zephryn, Medard, Marin, Savinien, Nazaire, Narcisse, Niquaise, Lonce, Justos, Eurene, Ildefonse, Tiberce, Isidro, Hermogenes, Gaspar, Firmin, Dorsili, Silvere, Cletes, Eloyes, Erastes, Esteve, Gaspard, Hilaire, Ovide, Philmon, Rosemond, Remacle, Septime, Sabin.

COLOUR SCHEME

I am going to do some more painting tonight, but for now I am sure of these colours: sotek green, black, and a very shiny gold, highlighted almost up to silver. Black or Green armour, with black or green trim (depending on which is the base) and gold helmets. Tonight I will be experimenting with a Verdigris on the gold -- not sure if that will work out.

Something like this:

Either #1 or #2 are in the running. I'm really into the green with a good healthy wash of nuln oil. Missing are company/squad markings on the pads/knees. Veteran status is to be determined.

FOUNDING AND GENESEED

In the middle of the 35th millennium, by order of the High Lords of Terra, a 10th founding of Space Marines occurred. Partly in response to the treachery of the Ur-Council in the Segmentum Pacificus, the Astral Templar were created, equipped, and immediately deployed with Imperial forces already en route to quell the rebellions. Over the next several hundred years, the Astral Templar would prove themselves over and again, fighting together with their Astartes brothers, the Astra Militarum, and the now disbanded militias of the Frateris Templar. Alongside the might of these Imperial forces, the Astral Templar guided dozens of rebellious worlds back into the secure embrace of Imperial rule.

The Astral Templar were born from Ultramarine gene-stock, and are officially listed as a successor of the Imperial Fists. After their creation and deployment to the Interregnum campaigns, the chapter's training was conducted alongside an Imperial Fist mentor detachment, learning from their more experienced brothers the craft of war, but more so than any other the skill of siegework.

The chapter favours Raven Guard tactics, but I think they have evolved that way as a result of their history. So I think they will be an IF successor. Plus it gives me a better colour palette option for successor nods on the shoulder/knee pads.

CHAPTER HISTORY

As the Interregnum campaigns dwindled, the Astral Templar were redeployed to the borders of the western reaches and the Segmentum Obscurus, in response to a series of Ork invasions, most likely prompted by the region's vulnerability following the Ur-Council's rebellion. The Templar spent the next thousand years campaigning variously against rebellious governors, piratical empires, Ork invaders, and, most fiercely, the Heretic Astartes pushing southward from the Obscurus. It is during this period that the chapter began splitting it's battle companies between several campaigns, only rarely reconvening at full strength. The chapter would continue this practice until almost M41, when, with the discovery of the Culsans system in the Segmentum Ultima, the Templar would be indefinitely deployed to the farthest reaches of the Eastern Fringe. This practice of forming several 'crusade groups', almost akin to the Black Templars' organizational structure, eventually resulted in animosity between the Astral Templar and both their progenitors, the Ultramarines, and their former mentors, the Imperial Fists. It is also speculated that the chapter's closeness with several other divergent Astartes chapters, notably the Space Wolves and the recalcitrant Raven Guard, may have stoked the tensions between the Astral Templar and the sons of Dorn, and of Guilliman. While the rift displays itself in what is often sneeringly referred to by the Astral Templar as "professional discourtesy" on the part of their more haughty brethren, there is no diminishment of the combat efficiency or lethality of their combined forces.

HOMEWORLD

The Astral Templar began as a fleet based chapter, recruiting from whatever nearby worlds presented appropriately tenacious candidates. Until recently, this suited their crusade-like campaign organization. With the discovery of the Culsans system on the Eastern Fringe, and the chapter's reunification into a single fighting force, the Astral Templar now operate from their newly chosen homeworld, Culsans Prime. The Templar now use the Culsans system as a base of operations, supporting the Adeptus Mechanicus' project of establishing a Forge World on Culsans III, and fiercely defending the region from Xenos invaders.

RECRUITMENT AND COMBAT DOCTRINE

The Adeptus Astartes are recruited from only the strongest and most promising candidates from only the most respected, admired, and loyal worlds in the Imperial. The recruitment practices of the Astral Templar are no different. However, the chapter eventually began to show a preference for candidates from planets with strong hunting cultures, even over those with strong warrior traditions, or proud lineages of soldiering. It is said that this betrays a superstitiousness within the chapter, for regardless of a recruit's background, the mind-shattering processed of genetic alteration and indoctrination leaves no trace of the individual candidate. Nevertheless, the Astral Templar show a clear preference for recruits that display aspects of the patient hunter; who can stalk their prey unseen; who kill with swift, dispassionate efficiency; and who can disappear again just as quickly, and leave no trace of themselves. Among all the skills that a newly created initiate will develop, these are the qualities that the Astral Templar with instill in their recruits; these are the qualities that they must hone, demonstrate, and master before they will be elevated to the rank of Battle Brother. The Astral Templar have a high reputation among the Astartes as efficient soldiers, with a mastery of sieging and siege-breaking that nearly rivals the Imperial Fists. They have proven themselves in countless campaigns, a multitude of theaters of war, and on every kind of battlefield that it is possible to fight, but above all they are renown for their patience and tactical acumen. They plan their engagements and study their enemies, harassing and feinting to test their strengths, only committing to their forces at the critical moment, and strike a fatal blow with lightning speed and cold efficiency. This is what their recruits must become, and the Astral Templar will take only those candidates that demonstrate these aptitudes during selection trials.

ORGANIZATION

(mostly) Non-divergent Codex Astartes adherent chapter. While the chapter keeps to the strict the organizational structure of the codex, due to the crusade-like nature of their deployments, each of the chapter's companies are spread throughout the various fighting groups active throughout the galaxy. Due in part to their relatively disparate deployment style, but also due largely to their preference for stealth, the chapter also makes somewhat greater use of 10th company elements than most. To keep themselves at fighting strength, and make the best use of finite resources across multiple fighting fronts, the chapter relies heavily on 10th company resources to provide critical information on enemy strengths and movements. They therefore have a somewhat higher percentage of their active members in the 10th company, however this is only truly apparent when the chapter recalls its war groups from their fighting fronts. The rarity of these gatherings is one reason why the chapter's small organizational divergences remain a mostly well kept secret.

Currently, the chapter is active on the Eastern Fringe, where it is fighting alongside several other Astartes chapters, most notably elements of the Black Templars and the Raven Guard, with whom the chapter has a very close bond.

Until as recently as M40, the chapter has roved the galaxy, but is now keeping particularly close to a small, recently discovered system on the eastern fringe, from which the chapter now prefers to select the majority of its recruits.

REDEMPTION CRUSADES

In 131.M39, the Astral Templar deployed to the Eastern Fringes

CULSANS SYSTEM

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CHAPTER MASTER

Chapter Master Casimiro Savinien

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[Doctor Perils]

Over all, a promising start :tu:. I have some remarks though (please take these as recommendations and my personal point of view, not as hard-set rules :) )

 

If you have your heart set on the theme "Astral Templars" but want to have something different from the AoS faction, how about a simple "Astral Crusaders"? Google-fu says there's already a DIY chapter called that out there, but that shouldn't stop you :)

 

Regarding the lack of theme: this is think could cause you trouble when trying to develop your chapter, as it may feel disjointed in the end. The theme has nothing to do with the founding chapter, and ultimately your DIY need not have much relation to your tabletop force.

Your mention of Haitian and Creole names could be a good start, as there is some very interesting history there, and is rarely seen in 40k :)

 

I find the colour schemes interesting - I prefer #1, but I'd colour the cod piece the same as the torso. I'd probably do the same with the helmet, with only sergeants or veterans having gold.

 

The Astral Templar were born from Ultramarine gene-stock, and are officially listed as a successor of the Imperial Fists. After their creation and deployment to the Interregnum campaigns, the chapter's training was conducted alongside an Imperial Fist mentor detachment, learning from their more experienced brothers the craft of war, but more so than any other the skill of siegework.

 

The chapter favours Raven Guard tactics, but I think they have evolved that way as a result of their history. So I think they will be an IF successor. Plus it gives me a better colour palette option for successor nods on the shoulder/knee pads.

Don't bother differentiating their genetics from their "successor of" part - this just complicates the concept without actually adding to their character.

 

You also seem to be confused about what tactics they favour? Siege craft or guerilla warfare? Remember, all Space Marines are superlative at all forms of warfare, some just have an extra-extra specialisation (for instance Fists in sieges, RG in guerilla etc.) - if in doubt, just don't say they have a particular favour of one kind of tactics; after all, when liberating worlds or bringing rebels back under control, a chapter may need to make use of different styles of warfare

 

Also, the progenitor chapter need not have any link to the colour schemes of their successors

 

 

It is during this period that the chapter began splitting it's battle companies between several campaigns, only rarely reconvening at full strength. The chapter would continue this practice until almost M41, when, with the discovery of the Culsans system in the Segmentum Ultima, the Templar would be indefinitely deployed to the farthest reaches of the Eastern Fringe. This practice of forming several 'crusade groups', almost akin to the Black Templars' organizational structure, eventually resulted in animosity between the Astral Templar...

Splitting the chapter into Crusade fleets doesn't seem uncommon - a good example is the Crimson Fists in their early history. This absolutely is not against the codex. Further, it is very rare for a Chapter to remain grouped together, especially the battle companies: those cases where they do remain in a single block are specifically called out, like the Minotaurs. As such, this in itself shouldn't cause animosity with other chapters

 

It is also speculated that the chapter's closeness with several other divergent Astartes chapters, notably the Space Wolves and the recalcitrant Raven Guard,

This should be explored before being mentioned, and I recommend not only having first founding chapters in the list

 

 

HOMEWORLD

I'd recommend not having a new Forge World being established in the same system. For one, new Forge Worlds are extremely rare, and the AdMech wouldn't choose a system they cannot entirely control

 

RECRUITMENT

this is mostly fine, though again it feels like there's a strange dichotomy between guerilla skills and siege warfare

 

 

ORGANISATION

having battlegroups spread out around the galaxy isn't a divergence from the Codex, and the 10th company is the only one that doesn't have a strict limit of 100 marines of the line (after all, they aren't full marines yet)

[Brother-Sergeant Valorum]

Overall, this seems pretty well done to me! I especially like the mention of Haitian and Creole names; it’s an unusual choice, and one that I quite like. I just noticed a few things that need work. For starters, color scheme 1 seems to have a lot going on. I love the possible combinations; black and gold, green and gold, and black and green would all look great. The problem comes when they’re all together; it seems like too much. I’d settle on one of the above combinations (they all sound like awesome choices to me).

 

That point kind of carries over to some aspects of the fluff, too. The lack of a distinct theme makes it a little difficult to follow. For starters, why are they sons of Guilliman who were trained by the Imperial Fists, yet follow Raven Guard tactics? I’m not saying don’t do it, but answering that “why” is essential. Maybe there was a dearth of Ultramarines available to train them upon their founding, so the Fists stepped in? And maybe a brutal campaign reduced their numbers to the point where the standard tactics of the Sons of Dorn were no longer viable? Just some thoughts. You can make it work, but there should be history behind it.

 

This last one isn’t a critique, just my own personal curiosity. What does your chapter make of the Primaris Marines and Guilliman’s return? Do they embrace or reject them? Just some fun stuff to consider. I look forward to reading more!

[Brother Lunkhead]

A good start Brother

 

Both armour schemes look very good. I think both would work well in green or blue. 

 

Brother Lord makes some good points. "Astral Templars" has definitely been used, and "Astral Crusaders" does have a nice ring with an identical theme. But, if "Astral Templars" is what you want, then go for it I'm sure there's more chapters out there with the same name..... you can honour duel over it I also like the idea of Creole and Haitian names. You could build a very interesting background with that as a starting point.... very different from the average backstory.

 

A  Imperial Fist successor based on Ultramarine gene-stock that favors Raven Guard tactics...…. that could make for a LOT of tension at family reunions. I hope you have a good backstory to explain that.

 

As to the white background..... Did you put your text and illustrations together outside the B&C then paste it in?

 

Overall a vey fine beginning...…. Good Luck.

 

Courage and Honour…… I mean..... Primarch-Progenitor, to Your Glory and the Glory of Him on Earth

[BattleBrother446]

Thank you everyone for your feedback.  I am not so savvy with the forum's codes, but I will try to reply to everyone as I can.  Let me say, that I really appreciate everyone taking the time to read my post, and to provide thoughtful feedback.  I value everyone's contributions very highly.

 

 

Don't bother differentiating their genetics from their "successor of" part - this just complicates the concept without actually adding to their character...Also, the progenitor chapter need not have any link to the colour schemes of their successors.

 

That point kind of carries over to some aspects of the fluff, too. The lack of a distinct theme makes it a little difficult to follow. For starters, why are they sons of Guilliman who were trained by the Imperial Fists, yet follow Raven Guard tactics?

 

Courage and Honour…… I mean..... Primarch-Progenitor, to Your Glory and the Glory of Him on Earth

This is a point well made in replies to this thread.  I accept this and will make a change.  I do not have time to make a proper writing yet, but they will be Ultramarines successors, and I will figure how to work out their training and exposure to the IF's siege mastery.  I need more information on how Space Marines are trained after a founding.  

 

My initial idea, that I admit I did not well explain, was to have the Templar be exposed to the IF tactics early in their history, and to have that make an impression on them.  The Interregnum seemed perfect for this, as deposing planetary governors naturally involves storming a lot of planetary palaces!  After this, the chapter was to split into several 'crusade groups', each developing a preference for a particular combat doctrine based on the context of their campaigns.  Flash forward a thousand years, and something calls them all back together, where one style, the guerrilla doctrine, becomes dominant.  The chapter discovers their new homeworld, coincidentally filled with promising candidates from a strong hunting culture, and voila, a new combat focus is born.

 

After reading feedback and thinking on it for several quiet night shifts, I wish to tone this back a bit.  They are not the Raven Guard, and they are not the Imperial Fists.  They are Astartes, after all; masters of warfare in all its forms and doctrines.  Perhaps, they will show a preference for stealth and guerrilla tactics, but this will not define them.  Additionally, their recruiting strategies may also show a preference for hunters, but it will not be exclusive.  instead, the chapter's veteran company or elite units will show a preference for stealth and rapid assault; this will result in an informal reverence for Battle Brothers that demonstrate a higher proficiency in these combat styles.  It will be like a friendly 'grudge' between members of the 8th and 9th companies (or whatever it is that I end up doing); a friendly competition to see who will win more battle honours through their particular combat roles.

 

 

 

 

Splitting the chapter into Crusade fleets doesn't seem uncommon - a good example is the Crimson Fists in their early history. This absolutely is not against the codex. Further, it is very rare for a Chapter to remain grouped together, especially the battle companies: those cases where they do remain in a single block are specifically called out, like the Minotaurs. As such, this in itself shouldn't cause animosity with other chapters

I did not know this!  I accept this and will make a change.  I have another idea already, and I think it fits better.  I have had tucked away in my brain the idea to have a chapter that is seen by others as a lapdog of another Imperial agency.  Not that they do not control their own actions, but that they appear to be carrying out the will of another branch of the Imperium -- the Inquisition, or more likely, the Adeptus Mechanicus.  The latter would fit quite well with my idea for their homeworld.

 

Which brings me to...

 

 

 

I'd recommend not having a new Forge World being established in the same system. For one, new Forge Worlds are extremely rare, and the AdMech wouldn't choose a system they cannot entirely control

 

I agree with this.  I am flip-flopping on this; either it will be a system rich in some resource, and therefore not be a Forge World but instead a mining or quarry world, or the system will be some source of lost tech.  I am reading more of the GW story about Cawl, the Ad Mech, the Dark Imperium, and the Necrons and Blackstone.  I do not think it is too far fetched to have the system be a source of Blackstone, and to have the Templar exchange control and protection of this resource for control over their homeworld (which is filled with recruits of just the type they favour). 

 

Additionally, I have more work to do on understanding how the Dark Imperium will impact their homeworld.  The new maps of the Imperium Nihilus, which I had seen before but not understood until today, place the Hadex Anomaly very close to the location of their new homeworld.  I had wanted to locate it near the Tau Empire, on the Eastern Fringe, but not so far out as the Hadex Anomaly.  This makes it possible for me to have the chapter relocate there as one group to defend that region from the 'Anomaly specifically.  It also gives me the creative space to have the Templar be working with the Ad Mech to provide extra security for the resources in their home-system.

 

 

This last one isn’t a critique, just my own personal curiosity. What does your chapter make of the Primaris Marines and Guilliman’s return? Do they embrace or reject them? Just some fun stuff to consider. I look forward to reading more! 

 

I knew someone would bring this up, and to be honest I do not yet know.  I feel that I wish to make use of Intercessors in my lists, but I am not yet decided.  It will hinge dramatically on the GW story and whether I can fit it into my chapter.  I am currently reading it from the 40k Fandom wiki.  For my part, I do not like the story that GW has created for their new Primaris range.  To keep it polite, I think this is very lazy story telling, and does not really inspire me to include it into my chapter's history.  Cawl just happens to have this new tech and Space Marines 2.0 available for Guilliman?  How long was he sitting on this?  Was the Imperium not in a dire state before this time?  Surely the Primaris would have been useful when Abaddon broke Cadia; or the Tyranids almost destroyed Macragge?  Nevertheless, it is what it is... 

 

I have to get back to this question.

 

There is more to come!  I have another two lazy looking night shifts and I hope to sneak some writing in during the lulls.

[BattleBrother446]

Gaspard gripped the haft of his spear as he crouched among the jagged, glassy black rock on the mountainside. From his spot, carefully selected, he could surveil the entire valley below. Today, like every other day in the storm band, the constant rain fell in sheeting torrents, streaming down the mountain into the valley, collecting into the swollen rivers, and snaking endlessly to the seas beyond.

Above him, the wind howled through the mountain peaks, slashing rain scornfully into his face. Gaspard squinted deeper.  He pulled his huntsman's cloak tighter around his shoulders, seeming almost to disappear into the rock, save for the fierce gleam of his eyes within the hood. Gaspard wasn't cold, and the motion was a reflex, he knew; a remnant from his human life, before the Selection trials that nearby killed him, and the augmentation process that may as well have. No one, not even his parents, would have recognized him now. Superhuman, but not yet an Astartes: Gaspard still bore the title of Initiate. 'Brother' would not be his until he earned his carapace, and the privilege of fighting with his chapter as an equal.

Gaspard forced his thoughts back to the valley, and his prey. Even before his elevation, Gaspard would not have needed a view scope to see his quarry from so high in the mountains. For days, Gaspard and his keen eyes had tracked the beasts' progress through the valley. Lainemouts, massively antlered creatures, shaggy with long coils of matted, mossy hair, lumbered along the valley, hooting their 'braies' among their great herd. Fifteen feet tall at the shoulder, weighing near as much as a warmachine, Gaspard would have been hard pressed to kill such a massive beast, let alone carry even one of their antlers back over the mountain as a trophy. It would have taken more than a dozen of the strongest indigenous warriors -- or a pair of initiates -- to fell one of the great beasts; and even if they succeeded there would be no honour in killing one of the gentle giants.

No, Gaspard's prey was far more dangerous, and infinitely more cunning. Somewhere in the valley below him, hidden even from Gaspard's eyes, a deadly hunter stalked the Lainemout even as Gaspard did. The Imperials had given them a fanciful designation, but Gaspard refused to use it. Morteille, in his old tongue -- The Deadly -- were the pinnacle apex predator on his planet. Large, powerful, possessed of a terrible intelligence, and the ability to camouflage themselves perfectly to their surroundings, the Morteille were undetectable until they struck - and even then, if you saw it emerge toward you, as if from the very air, your fate was already sealed.

But Gaspard knew how to hunt them. He had seen one as a child, appear from the grasses and take one of the men from his father's hunting party. Gripped by terror at the sight, the men panicked and ran; all but one, who lost his wits in the moment, and thrust his spear into the creature's shimmering scaly hide. The man managed even a brief warrior's shout before he was struck dead, torn almost in two by the creature's massive claws. He was barely a boy, but Gaspard remembered the lesson: to hunt the Marteille, you hunt it's prey, and you wait.

And Gaspard had waited. And he knew, by whatever instincts had kept him alive to this point -- had helped him survive Selection -- that his wait was almost over.

Quickly, stealthily, Gaspard climbed down toward the valley.

________________________________________________________

 

Feeling the beast go motionless, Gaspard shifted his weight off the spear just slightly.  He stared intently at the spot where his spear had pierced the Morteille's side: underneath the foreleg, just left of the center line -- exactly the spot where its heart should be.  He had seen the beast as it reared, towering over him; he had felt the impact as his spear's tip struck the scales, and the satisfying release as it plunged through a gap.  But now, looking down his spear, all he saw was grass.  It had happened so fast, even for him.  For a brief moment, Gaspard felt doubt: had he imagined it?  No, he had not; he was sure of it.  Gaspard shifted his weight again, and then he saw it: in death, the creature's camouflage was active only from it's killer's last perspective.  Motionless in the grass, assaulted by the rain, Gaspard now could see the Morteille in its deathly splendour: the rain water running off its sleek muscular form revealed the contours of row upon row of smooth, sweeping crystalline scales, set in a brilliantly intricate pattern, mimicking exactly the texture and colour of the valley floor around it.  The creature's elongated jaws were set in pained grimace, revealing several rows of serrated teeth, each as long and as broad as the cutting edge of a hunting knife.

 

Even as the realization sunk in that this exquisite monster had just effortlessly killed Muerron, and nearly taken his own life, Gaspard could not help but feel admiration.  He chided himself quickly for the lapse.  Emotional investment was another reflex from his former self.  The rain hammered the ground around him.  Gaspard knelt quickly, drawing his knife.  He would need a trophy to prove the kill; and the eyes, with their glittering iridescent sheen, were highly valued by the indigenous medicine keepers.  There would be much affinity to be gained from such a gift. 

 

Gaspard moved to make the first cut, and suddenly stopped.  He was not alone.  Gaspard's enhanced reflexes reacted faster than even he could process, spinning him away from danger.  His training took over, and in a blur, Gaspard withdrew his spear, used the momentum of the spin, and lunged forward to deliver a lightning fast overhead strike to his would be attacker.  An armoured fist deflected the weapon before it could land, but Gaspard's strike was superb, and he watched with an odd mixture of satisfaction and dismay as the tip scratched an almost imperceptibly thin line down the otherwise immaculate plasteel shoulder pad of Brother Sergeant Doucette. 

 

Gaspard dared not move.  Only the briefest instant passed, but for Gaspard, it was long enough to detect a posture of surprise in his mentor.  He could not see the man's face beneath his helmet, but he was sure that his blow had caught the Astartes Sergeant off guard.  Gaspard remembered himself, and knelt in fealty, placing his spear before him on the ground, careful to angle the point slightly away from Doucette.  "Arise, Brother."  Not even the vox amplifiers could hide the deep baritone in the Sergeant's voice, just above a peal of thunder, but no less powerful.  The Sergeant stood stoic in his power armour, either unaware of the mark on his armour or refusing to acknowledge it.  Gaspard stood, making the sign of the aquila against his chest.  Immaculate armour.  Gaspard marvelled: even in a suit of power armour, the Sergeant had managed to come almost within striking distance without being detected.  Gaspard drew a breath to offer praise for the Sergeant's stealthy approach, but the words caught suddenly in his throat.  Doucette had called him "Brother!"  EXCHANGE AND BRIEF ACKNOWLEDGEMENT. 

 

Gaspard knelt again to gather the trophy.  Thunder tumbled again from the Sergeant's helmet.  "Leave it, Brother Gaspard.  The Astartes do not take trophies.  Concern yourself for the fallen," Doucette nodded towards the ground.  Gaspard looked over at the lifeless body of Muerron.  Gaspard was sure the Morteille had struck Muerron only once.  Gaspard moved to stand over the dead Initiate.  The Morteille's claw had split Muerron's chest open.  Whatever resistance Muerron's fused ribcage had offered had not been enough: the wound penetrated almost to the spine, and had severed Muerron's primary heart, and cleaved near through his secondary implant.  Gaspard feigned impassivity.  He knew the Initiate had been killed instantly, yet he felt another reflexive surge in his chest.  The stark contrast between the near limitless potential of Muerron's enhanced physical perfection, and the total devastation and final brutality of his death plucked a tragic chord somewhere in Gaspard.  He swept the feelings from his mind, and knelt at Muerron's side.  Meurron's fate was his own: destined to die his own brutal death, somewhere among the in the frigid expanses between the stars.  Wrapping Muerron in his cloak, Gaspard remembered Brother Auzlain's grim lesson.  Mourning the dead dishonours them!  Mourn with your Brothers in life, the Chaplain had said, for each of you is already dead: each battle is your funeral, your deeds are your eulogy.

 

Gaspard lashed Muerron's body tightly, and hefted it across his shoulders.  "Come Brother Gaspard," thundered Sergeant Doucette as he turned towards the mountains, "our journey is long, and your Brothers are waiting."

[Brother Lunkhead]

Greetings Brother,

 

I like your story..... good background atmosphere for your chapter

 

I was thinking about your problem of linking your chapter origins of the Ultramarines and how to link it to Imperial Fists siege craft and Raven Guard covert tactics. I may have a solution or at least a road to a solution for you. You might start with the chapter founding. There are not a lot of details available in the 40K lore on the how's and what's of a chapter founding, so you've got a lot of freedom in this area as long as it doesn't conflict with overall established lore. In which case you will see an invasion of critics come down like Atilla and his Huns.

 

Let's just start the ball rolling with the idea that the Astral Templars was founded around the need for a Astartes force with special knowledge and skill of siege and counter-siege craft. Your initial training cadre is lead by a contingent from the Imperial Fists with a mandate to teach these strategies. The cadre also includes a Chaplain and Librarian from the Ultramarines to ensure that their new gene-spawned chapter is indoctrinated into the ethics, history, and traditions of the Ultramarines and their progenitor chapters. 

 

Now, to the problem of changing combat specialties from siege craft to unconventional warfare...…. Centuries pass and the Astral Templars are prosecuting a difficult campaign along side the Raven Guard. While in support of the Raven Guard, the Astral Templars suffer massive casualties and material loss, threatening the chapter with possible extinction. Because of their heroic and self-sacrificing actions, the Raven Guard are bonded to the fate of the chapter by a blood debt. In order to ensure the viability of the Astral Templars as a effective fighting force as they rebuild, the Raven Guard train the chapter in some of their most guarded and unconventional warfare strategies as partial payment of their debt. Thus the Astral Templars are reborn as a fear inspiring force of war in the shadows..... at least until they can rebuild their numbers.

 

I'm not saying you should use these ideas.... I'm just throwing them out there to give you some food for thought. Good luck

[BattleBrother446]

This last one isn’t a critique, just my own personal curiosity. What does your chapter make of the Primaris Marines and Guilliman’s return? Do they embrace or reject them? Just some fun stuff to consider. I look forward to reading more!

 

Okay, I've done some thinking.  I need to run this by the Liber, because I have been out of the 40k loop for too long.

 

I am sure the idea of a Chapter "rejecting" Primaris and Roboute is not novel.  The GW writers certainly have shoved their widespread acceptance down our throats, which I'm sure provoked rebellious sentiments in many writers beyond myself.  So, my idea is that the Astral Templar are highly suspicious of Cawl's Primaris Astartes, and Roboute's resurrection.  They are more willing to accept Roboute than Primaris, and they are concerned that Primaris are the brainchildren of Cawl, a machine, that worked in the shadows for more than 10,000 years.  And moreso that Roboute, upon his resurrection, was willing to accept Cawl's work so quickly, despite not having had any contact with him since his death.

 

However, the Templar's close relationship with the Ordo Hereticus (yes, I know I haven't introduced this yet -- there's so much extra writing I have done but unable to find the time to get it on the forum!) make them ultimately accept Roboute's return and his gift of Primaris.  Their effectiveness cannot be denied and blah blah blah.

 

Are there records of Chapters being snuggly with Ordo Hereticus?  I know its not unheard of for the Astartes and I to be close, but the Hereticus is just so secretive.  The Templar did take part in several Ecclesiarchy-themed campaigns, from the Interregnum to some during the Age of Apostasy.  My goal is to write a plausible story for the Templar to be close with one or two Ordo H inquisitors after they show themselves to be trusty worthy and capable of keeping a close eye over their Ecclesiarchy allies -- or at the least being capable of show discretion after the Ordo H has to disappear a few that were working with the Templar.

 

Thoughts?

[BattleBrother446]

I have done some work on the chapter badge. I have also significantly changed my colour scheme. While dark armour suits stealthy tactics, it does not fit with the name Astral Templar, nor does it fit with what I wanted to put on the table - something stunning. So, the chapter badge with be this last sunburst skull, on a white shoulder pad, with gold rims.

The rest of the armour will be white, with gold trim, helms, and chest eagles. I think this is much closer to what I actually want, and will fit better with the 40k setting than green, black, and gold.

I wanted something that embodied Astral more than Templar, and subsequently I really focused on the sunburst motif. The only issue was how to convey the deadliness of Astartes through the chapter badge. I tried a few that were knightly, like this one:

Then I came to one I felt embodied what I wanted:

My concern with both was that the larger 'sunrays' are too long. So I came up with this:

This last image is what I think I will want. However, I'm not sure if it should be this first one, or this one:

They're both really close, but the shorter diagonal rays give it a tighter feel? I can't tell. Thoughts?

[Bjorn Firewalker]

I think the last image looks best. The shorter rays make the skull the center-of-attention, while longer rays make the rays themselves the center-of-attention.