Beatnik cryptek Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 Iron warrior standing outside armored door of enemy fortification: "Knock knock. "Enemy inside fortification. "Whose there? "Iron warrior: "Just wanted"Enemy: "Just wanted who? "Iron warrior: "Just wanted to make sure someone was standing on the other side of this door. " Iron warrior then sets off breaching charge. Iron_Within, Sanctimonius, repentiarch and 5 others 8 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaVolt87 Posted June 4, 2019 Share Posted June 4, 2019 When you end up with a minimum of 10x the logistics needed for a "simple" military operation. You get annoyed when there is something 20 seconds behind the schedule/ timetable, you go on a rampage amongst the flesh when the delay stretches to a few minutes. Your warpsmith curses you out when you forget to put hazard stripes on your weapon to indicate its not stock, needing non standard replacement parts when going for wargear maintenance. The look on the Imperial Fists face as you open up with your bolter with the spare bane-strike rounds you have been holding on to since the drop-site massacre for a "special occasion". Frostglaive, Beatnik cryptek and Gederas 3 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326170 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatnik cryptek Posted June 4, 2019 Author Share Posted June 4, 2019 You kill an enemy apocathery then put a primed plasma grenade in his gene seed preservation capsule and leave it next to the body. Zeller 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326177 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaVolt87 Posted June 5, 2019 Share Posted June 5, 2019 You kill an enemy apocathery then put a primed plasma grenade in his gene seed preservation capsule and leave it next to the body. Clearly you would do this with a vortex grenade, plasma grenade is just a cherry bomb. Beatnik cryptek 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326192 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatnik cryptek Posted June 5, 2019 Author Share Posted June 5, 2019 (edited) How do you recognize an iron warrior porta potty? It has 20 tons of armor on it amd the black and yellow hazard stripes aren't ornamental. Edited June 6, 2019 by Beatnik cryptek bluntblade 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326276 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephaniah Adriyen Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 The Iron Warriors themselves. =][= Charlo 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326735 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaVolt87 Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 The Iron Warriors themselves. =][= The cog boys are too busy ogling toasters, until Cawl shows up making one useful guy out of the faction lol that is doing anything remotely useful. Kite Senet 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326748 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatnik cryptek Posted June 6, 2019 Author Share Posted June 6, 2019 Tech priests are just jealous that most IW have more metal and less humanity than they do. Llagos_Tyrant, Preliminary Bombardment and Majkhel 3 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326852 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Trevak Dal Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) The mechanicus is basically "Yo Dawg, the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout but with a higher focus on the acolytes instead of the Knights/guys in power armor" Edited June 6, 2019 by Trevak Dal Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5326879 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephaniah Adriyen Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Whatever, lads. At least I don't worship warp deities, nor did I create the darkest thing in the setting. Lynnean 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327126 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daemon Prince Marbas Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 (edited) The Iron Warriors don't worship Chaos. They use Chaos Daemons as a tool. The Daemonculaba was a fair jab though. Edited June 6, 2019 by Daemon Prince Marbas Zephaniah Adriyen 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327139 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Machine God Posted June 6, 2019 Share Posted June 6, 2019 Well seeing as the 40K joke thread has disappeared this thread will have to do. Q: Why did the Dark Angel shoot his squad-mate? A: Because he'd Fallen over. Tallarn Commander and Darnok 2 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327144 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Beatnik cryptek Posted June 7, 2019 Author Share Posted June 7, 2019 A loyalist marine and a traitor walk into a bar. The bartender says "We don't serve dark angles here! " The mechanicus is basically "Yo Dawg, the Brotherhood of Steel from Fallout but with a higher focus on the acolytes instead of the Knights/guys in power armor" Iron warriors created the darkest thing in the universe? I don't think they started realty TV.... Llagos_Tyrant and Kite Senet 2 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327660 Share on other sites More sharing options...
The_son_of_Dorn Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Iron warrior walks into a bar. The bar says "ow" Llagos_Tyrant 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327662 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darnok Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 Well seeing as the 40K joke thread has disappeared this thread will have to do. Q: Why did the Dark Angel shoot his squad-mate? A: Because he'd Fallen over. Something actually funny in here, thumbs up! Also: MegaVolt87, DeRome90 and Gumo9 3 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327666 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephaniah Adriyen Posted June 7, 2019 Share Posted June 7, 2019 I'll be honest though, the Iron Warriors are about the least Chaos Chaos Legion out there. Primarily because they don't THINK they're being manipulated by Tzeentch, and they THINK they're in control of the daemons they summon. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327776 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Iron_Within Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 One time an Imperial Fist made one of their terrible fortifications and he said "oh no I have made a terrible Imperial Fist Fortification" and it fell over killing him. It is funny because the Imperial Fist died. Brought to you by Dug the Iron Warrior Kite Senet 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5327965 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaVolt87 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 When you chop off your tentacle arm, replacing it with a bionic one, then injecting oblitorator virus because you're biggest fear is running out of ammo. It's not a mutation then clearly. IW logic, 100 intellect. Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5328054 Share on other sites More sharing options...
sebs_evo7 Posted June 8, 2019 Share Posted June 8, 2019 I built a sand castle with my 3 year old the other day All I could hear in my head was SIEGE SIEGE SIEGE Uprising, Iron_Within, Kite Senet and 2 others 5 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5328195 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daemon Prince Marbas Posted June 9, 2019 Share Posted June 9, 2019 Hey guys remember that time Dorn beat one of Perturabo's Fortifications? Except the main area was a bomb and sighted to artillery and decimated Dorn's legion and broke the primarch mentally and emotionally? Iron_Within 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329000 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephaniah Adriyen Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Imagine being a grimderp version of the Imperial Fists and Iron Hands at the same time Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329005 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Marshal Loss Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 (edited) I'll ignore the lone representative of the Mechanicus' futile attempts to attain relevance in order to post a little gem I saw the other day Edited June 10, 2019 by Marshal Loss dansupvi, Llagos_Tyrant, MegaVolt87 and 1 other 4 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329012 Share on other sites More sharing options...
MegaVolt87 Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 I built a sand castle with my 3 year old the other day All I could hear in my head was SIEGE SIEGE SIEGE https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WBt1vqff7dE sebs_evo7 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329086 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Zephaniah Adriyen Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 I'll ignore the lone representative of the Mechanicus' futile attempts to attain relevance in order to post a little gem I saw the other day No. Daemon Prince Marbas 1 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329094 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Darnok Posted June 10, 2019 Share Posted June 10, 2019 Hey guys remember that time Dorn beat one of Perturabo's Fortifications? Except the main area was a bomb and sighted to artillery and decimated Dorn's legion and broke the primarch mentally and emotionally? Good times! Majorbookworm and MegaVolt87 2 Back to top Link to comment https://bolterandchainsword.com/topic/356399-iron-warrior-humor/#findComment-5329099 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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