The Wardens of Hades [Updated 07.24.2020]

[hortanium]

This is a great IA. While it may be a bit but long, that length allowed a lot of character to come out that made this very enjoyable.

 

The description of the people and culture of the homeworld and how that has changed the chapter was fantastic.

 

Your models are fantastic too.

[Allart01]

The model looks great!

 

Thanks!

 

 

Going to give this a good thorough read, but I need to ask: is the Kill ‘em All Chapter Motto a refernce to X-Files or Metallica? Bonus points either way.

 

 

Eheh... Metallica, yes!

Perhaps not the most original motto, but I could really envision it being repeated like a mantra while revving a chainsword,

 

 

Loved it. It was really fun to read from the non-semi-omnipotent, biased viewpoint of a historian believed to be absolutely trapped on the wrong side of the Rift. Really brought out the dark of the current setting— the nugget of gold that some are missing about the advance in time.

 

Spear of The Emperor spoiler:

 

This chapter reminded me of one on the fast track to receive the same treatment from the Inq. the Lions got in Spear of The Emperor. Which is awesom

 

I really liked the time you sunk into the Homeworld. By far that section oozed the most character, as it should, and you really set up well some unique aspects of the relationship between mortal and Astartes on Hades. The idea of a pre-feudal level society actually having their mythology come true right before their eyes with the daemons and the Astartes was awesome.

 

I think if you wanted to you could cut it down a little more, but the voice of the narrator for your article is more important than in most others, so it’s good to leave some fat on the bone there— even at the start too with really setting up the official fluff setting of the Great Rift at length.

 

 

Massive thank you for taking the time to read this again!

And it warms my heart tosee that the themes were delivered in a convincing manner.

 

Indeed, Pars Nihilus can be a lot of fun. It still has all of the original Grimdark (and more) if that's what you want to play with!

The Wardens certainly risk to end up in a lot of trouble - the Celestial kind of trouble 

 

You are right, I can still trim this a little more. I'll try to do so in the next update, where I'd also like to add some artworks for Thàlassa, the Oracles or the Theodosian Wall.

Ideally, I'd like to have two or three digital illustrations produced for this article... which begs the question of what you'd like to see!

 

 

One thing that brought me out of the article a couple times was the use of ‘we’ instead of ‘I’ as the narrator addresses the reader:

 

Of the Archontopouloi's geneseed we shall talk in greater detail elsewhere

Might just be personal preference but hey, if I’m mentioning grammar choices in my critique you know you’ve done well 

 

 

You are absolutely right.

Thank you for making me notice - I'll fix it!

 

This is a great IA. While it may be a bit but long, that length allowed a lot of character to come out that made this very enjoyable.

 

The description of the people and culture of the homeworld and how that has changed the chapter was fantastic.

 

Your models are fantastic too.

 

I'm very glad you liked it, Hortanium!

The homeworld and its relationship with the Astartes is my favourite part, so I'm happy to hear that you like it aswell!

 

Thanks for the feedback, guys.

Seeing this project being well received by you has really made my day.

 

I'll make sure to reciprocate soon!

Edited July 25, 2020 by The_Bloody